Discovering my husband's infidelity, I'm at a loss as to what to do, feeling deeply distressed...

Give the questioner a hug! I can feel the questioner's sadness, anger, and helplessness. Any wife would find it hard to understand and accept her husband's behavior.

Why did he do it? Partly because he wanted to satisfy his physical and psychological needs. Couples who live apart and don't communicate often do this. Partly because he didn't think he'd be punished for doing this. He felt that even if the questioner found out, it wouldn't matter.

The first part is his fault. He needs to take responsibility. The latter part is the questioner's fault. She is too tolerant.

A relationship between a husband and wife needs a clear set of principles. These principles protect the relationship and marriage. Without them, the relationship and marriage will have problems. The husband has done this before. The wife has let him cheat without consequences. How many people can resist temptation?

The questioner is dependent on her husband and worried about supporting herself and her child without a job. This is a big problem. But does it mean the questioner and her child cannot live without her husband? The questioner has to make a choice. She can either continue living with her husband, endure his behavior, or divorce him. She can also talk with him and then make a decision.

My opinion is to talk to your husband first. Before that, you need to adjust your mentality and perception. You also need to know how to maintain your dignity, communicate with your husband, and face his responses. You need to have a clear idea of what you want to do.

If the questioner feels they can't do this, they can get formal psychological counseling. These are just my opinions.

Good day. I am a heart exploration coach, Gu Daoxi Fengshou Slender Donkey.

It is unclear whether the husband's infidelity is merely the result of a more amicable interaction with the OP's husband, or if it stems from more ambiguous communication or other concrete evidence. If the nature of the interaction is relatively innocuous, it may not warrant undue concern. However, if it is indicative of a more serious infidelity, the OP may need to consider potential avenues for escape.

When I got married, my father advised me that my sister-in-law could remain in the family home, but I was not permitted to do so, as the person one marries determines one's need for independence. However, in reality, the woman in a marriage often faces greater challenges than her husband, a fact that is often overlooked. I extend my support to the questioner.

It is unclear whether the original poster (OP) still harbors feelings for her husband beyond her concerns for her child. If she does, she may need to present evidence and engage in discussion with her husband regarding the potential costs of a confrontation and divorce. She may also wish to consider allowing her husband to consider the matter for himself. In the event that there is no longer any love, the OP may also wish to collect evidence to facilitate the at-fault party's financial responsibility for the divorce and to advocate for increased financial support for the child and herself.

The questioner may be compelled to maintain financial independence, procure childcare services, and secure employment, regardless of whether or not the couple decides to divorce. Divorce serves as a foundational step in the future upbringing of the children, while the decision not to divorce can also establish a foundation for respect, financial independence, and freedom. In either case, the questioner may stand to benefit.

The husband's pride may derive from male chauvinism and the assertion of absolute authority within the family unit. He may be exhibiting a desire to display his sense of power. In general, the more something is displayed, the more underlying inferiority may be present. The questioner may endeavor to discern the underlying motives behind his behavior by examining his own family of origin.

One must avoid doubting oneself as a result of the other person's mistakes. It is not the case that the man is cheating or that the wife is unattractive; rather, it is that he himself lacks a sense of family responsibility. It is that the questioner is too tolerant and that the cost of his mistakes is too low, which allows him to cheat.

A friend of mine once posited that it would be prudent to require the payment of a higher sum to the prospective spouse before the ceremony of marriage, with the objective of imposing a significant financial penalty for any subsequent mistakes. This approach would, it was suggested, encourage greater caution in the actions of the individual in question.

It is not possible to comprehend the joy of being a fish without first becoming a fish. A family with poor parenting skills may not develop in a healthier manner than a child from a single-parent family. An abnormal parent-child relationship and a poor family environment may have a more detrimental impact on a child's mental health. I once had a friend who was distressed by the conflict between his parents and suggested that they cease their disagreements and divorce. The questioner may not have to hesitate because of concerns about the child.

In the event that the questioner is genuinely opposed to the continuation of the marriage, it may be advisable to consider devising an exit strategy for oneself and one's child. This could potentially alleviate some of the pressure experienced when discussing the other party's infidelity.

The questioner may be able to inform their parents of their intentions, but it may be more prudent to simply mention their desire to pursue employment and allow their parents to continue caring for the children. It would be advisable to postpone any deliberations regarding their relationship with their husband until they have secured a stable position and achieved emotional stability. It is essential to engage in open and honest communication to prevent the formation of decisions based on impulse.

It is recommended that the reader peruse the following text: "The Courage to Be Disliked."

I wish you the best of luck!

I'm so sorry you're going through such a rough time. First of all, I just want to give you a big hug.

I can see you're going through a lot right now. It's a tough decision, but I think you should think carefully about telling your parents. They're there for you, and they'll want to support you, but they might also worry.

I know it's tough, but I really think you should take it slow and don't rush to confront your husband or make any major decisions right now. You can start preparing for your future.

For example, you could try to find a part-time job that you can do at home, or learn some new skills to prepare for re-entering the workforce later and slowly have your own source of income.

It might also be a good idea to chat with some of your close friends or relatives, like your parents. If you think they'd be able to help and support you in a rational way, it could be really helpful to tell them.

But in any case, you must first take care of your own physical and mental health and that of your children. Please don't blame yourself for everything. Your husband's infidelity is his fault, not yours.

What do you think about starting by looking for a part-time job or learning a new skill? I'd love to hear your thoughts!

It might also be a good idea to look for a lawyer who can help you understand your rights in the event of a divorce. They can also explain how property is divided, child custody and alimony, and so on, so that you know what to expect.

④ In your daily life, it's really important to try to remain calm and rational. It's probably best not to show your husband that you know about his infidelity, and just observe his subsequent behaviour and performance.

It's so important to give yourself some time and space to think about the meaning and value of this marriage to you. Think about your expectations and needs for your future life, too.

If you're feeling overwhelmed, it's totally normal. You can always reach out to a professional counselor for some extra support. They can help you work through any negative emotions like anxiety and depression, and help you find ways to cope with whatever you're facing.

And there's another thing you can do. You can have a really good chat with your husband. Just make sure you choose the right time and method. Be honest with him about how you feel and what you want from this marriage. Then you can see how he reacts and think about what to do next.

Another thing you could try is moving back to your parents' house for a while. It can be really helpful to have a familiar, supportive environment where you can relax and take a break from the pressures of everyday life. It's also a great opportunity for your husband to reflect on his actions and think about how he can improve things.

You might also like to chat with your husband's friends and colleagues. They can give you a good insight into his work and home life, and you'll probably get some great ideas from them, too!

If you decide not to divorce for the time being, you can also make some family rules and plans with your husband. These could include spending more time with you and the children, disclosing income and expenses, and participating in family decisions together. This will help you see if he is willing to make changes and efforts for the family.

You might also like to join some mum groups or marriage support groups. It can be really helpful to chat with other mums who have been through similar experiences. You'll be able to draw strength and wisdom from their experiences, and you might even find a solution that suits you!

Or you could try setting a trial period and deadline for the marriage. If your husband doesn't make some big changes and take remedial action during this time, you might want to think about whether you want to keep going with the marriage.

You can take these suggestions and run with them, based on your own actual situation.

Hello. I can imagine that you are experiencing a complex and profound emotional experience in the face of the current marital difficulties and internal struggles. Discovering that your partner has been unfaithful to you, especially when you are a stay-at-home parent with young children, is undoubtedly a huge blow to you.

It is understandable that you may experience feelings of betrayal, disappointment, and uncertainty about the future.

It is of the utmost importance to have an environment where you can safely express and process your emotions. It is beneficial for your mental health to talk about your feelings at such times with trusted family members, friends, or professionals.

They may be able to provide emotional support and practical advice to help you through this difficult time.

It might also be helpful to seek the support of a mental health professional. A professional counselor can provide expert guidance and support to help you navigate these complex emotions, including how to deal with the trauma of betrayal, how to rebuild a sense of self-worth, and how to create a healthy environment for your children.

In light of the financial issues you have mentioned and the possibility of divorce, it would be advisable to seek the guidance of a legal professional. Having a clear understanding of your legal rights, including matters such as the division of property, custody and alimony, can be invaluable in making informed decisions.

It would be beneficial to take some time to consider your needs and expectations. It might be helpful to think about what you are looking for in a marriage and what you expect from the future.

It might be helpful to consider your career plans and financial independence. Having your own source of income could provide more options and security in the long term.

It would be wise to consider your children's well-being when making any decisions. It is important to ensure that your decisions provide a stable and loving environment for your children.

If it is something you feel comfortable doing, you might like to have an open conversation with your partner about your feelings and concerns and explore possible solutions.

Additionally, you might consider joining a support group or participating in community activities to interact with others experiencing similar situations. Such groups can provide additional emotional support, as you will find many people facing similar challenges and may find their experiences and advice helpful.

When facing these challenges, it is important to remember to take care of your physical and mental health. Engaging in activities that help reduce stress, such as exercise, meditation, or hobbies, are all important parts of self-care.

It might be helpful to talk to your parents or other family members about your situation. They may be able to offer emotional support and practical help. Family support can provide you with extra strength during this difficult time.

It is important to remember that your feelings are valid and that you are facing a process that requires time and careful consideration. During this process, it is essential to ensure your emotional and financial security.

By practicing and applying the above measures, you can gradually learn to manage your emotions and create a more stable and loving environment for yourself and your children. You may find it helpful to believe in yourself and your ability to overcome these challenges and find the best path for yourself and your children.

You have already taken an important step in seeking help and improving yourself, which is commendable. With continued learning and practice, you will gradually overcome these difficulties and find your own happiness and satisfaction.