Do you feel inferior and insecure because of your background and family circumstances?

Hello. It's clear to me that you feel inferior because of your background and family circumstances. You lack a sense of security and are grateful to your family, but there is little communication. Your most prominent problem now is an inferiority complex, which makes you feel unworthy. You think you lack the ability to love, and you really hope that you can have love, expressiveness, and happiness. I can see the sadness in you.

You are right to be grateful to those who are kind-hearted. Your family has taken care of you, which is why you have achieved the academic success you have today. You know how to be grateful because you have love in your heart. It is true that we cannot change our family of origin, but you cannot change your family of origin.

However, your family members cannot express love, so you have not learned how to express gratitude. I recommend a book on communication, "Nonviolent Communication." Follow the guidance in the book, read a few pages every day, read aloud, and learn to express feelings and needs. Practice expressing yourself.

Your self-identity is too low, which makes it impossible for you to maintain every relationship. Self-identity is your own recognition of yourself, which is developed during the formative years. You are still young, and in the future, you will grow and develop yourself, affirm your abilities more, and participate in some psychology training camps to help you re-evaluate the part of self-negation in your perception and help you improve your self-confidence.

Love is an ability that can be cultivated. Read Wu Zhihong's book, May You Have a Life Illuminated by Love, to learn how to better accept yourself. It will help you.

Childhood trauma must be slowly repaired. The questioner can teach themselves psychology or seek the help of a counselor to gradually overcome it. The process will be challenging, but it is essential to live a better self.

The questioner will repair the trauma and rebuild their confidence.

Greetings, inquirer. I am Shushan Wenquan. Let us endeavor to cultivate our own spiritual gardens and observe the spring blossoms and autumn fruits.

From your description, it appears that you have learned about your background, that you were adopted and raised by others since childhood, that your family conditions in the countryside were not particularly good, that you rebelled since middle school, that your relationship with your adoptive parents is relatively light, that you communicate less, and that you are now somewhat "estranged."

She had a romantic partner during her college years, but the relationship ended due to her inferiority complex and lack of security. Consequently, she attributes her unhappiness and subsequent disappointment to her background.

It is presumed that the motivation behind the inquiries presented is the aspiration to attain a state of happiness. This state of happiness encompasses the acquisition of increased confidence and security, the ability to communicate more effectively with one's foster parents, the capacity to love and be loved by them, the opportunity to discuss a trusted romantic partner, and the establishment of a harmonious family unit.

Let us examine the feasibility of attaining this objective and the potential avenues for achieving it.

1. Narrate a personal experience and observe how an individual with a comparable background would likely respond.

One of my graduate school classmates was also placed in the care of her adoptive parents by her biological parents, a circumstance that is analogous to your situation. She was also a girl who grew up in a very rural area and is very attractive.

During our time at graduate school, we were close friends. Despite her reticence to discuss her past, she was always forthcoming when sharing her experiences.

She stated that she had been mischievous during her childhood, resulting in frequent corporal punishment. Nevertheless, she regarded her adoptive parents as her biological parents and did not harbor resentment.

In my estimation, she is positive, enthusiastic, proactive, and markedly assertive. Despite her occasional proclivity for impetuousness, she is widely regarded as a personable individual. Through her own efforts, she obtained a university degree and subsequently pursued a postgraduate qualification.

In our class of two boys, one is now the husband of the other's girlfriend.

It was my friend who initiated the relationship. The couple have been together for many years, have two children, and are living a very happy life.

She enjoys a positive relationship with her foster parents, and her mother is available to provide assistance with childcare when needed.

Although this case can only represent herself, it at least demonstrates one potential outcome. One's past life is only one of numerous factors that influence an individual's experiences, and it is not the sole determining factor in their present circumstances.

However, the perception of this experience and its role in one's future is a malleable aspect of one's identity.

From another perspective, it is not necessarily the case that individuals who were raised by their biological parents are more confident and secure, or able to find a romantic partner more quickly.

Therefore, one's past life is not directly related to the present or future. The primary reason for this is still the individual's own choice and effort.

What is the path to achieving a harmonious relationship and a happy life?

As a university student and an adult, you bear a proactive responsibility for your foster parents.

It is incumbent upon the individual to assume a proactive role with respect to their relationship with their foster parents. In the event that they hold feelings towards them, it is recommended that they express gratitude and express a desire for further emotional exchanges in the future.

Subsequently, I will assume the responsibility of initiating the first step. During your formative years, your parents selected you and assumed the role of your primary caregivers, which was an act of initiative on their part.

Given your current age and circumstances, it is understandable that you do not wish to terminate the relationship. Instead, you are motivated to maintain the connection and pursue a continued partnership, which is a decision that you are entitled to make.

It is recommended that individuals be open to their inner world, work hard to enrich it, and be courageous in making changes. It should be noted that the aforementioned state is not unique to any one individual; rather, it is a common phenomenon that exists in many people.

Inquire of those in your immediate vicinity whether they can assert with assurance that they feel secure. It is therefore recommended that you simply accept the situation.

It is recommended that students endeavor to enrich themselves during their tenure at the university. This can be achieved by engaging in activities that foster intellectual growth, such as reading, writing, and rigorous academic pursuits. Additionally, cultivating kindness towards others is a valuable practice that can facilitate meaningful connections with individuals who possess admirable qualities.

It is imperative to be courageous and embrace change. The concept of the self is in a constant state of evolution, rather than being fixed and unchanging. As long as there is a desire to alter one's circumstances, human plasticity will undoubtedly exceed one's expectations.

However, given the strength of past habits, change is a challenging process that necessitates courage, action, and perseverance.

In the context of romantic relationships, the concept of fate plays an important role. While it is important to have a sense of openness and flexibility, it is also crucial to recognize that the path to finding a romantic partner is not entirely within our control. Rather than pushing for a specific outcome, it is more beneficial to embrace the possibility of fate and allow it to unfold naturally.

Conversely, it is essential to possess one's own core values and avoid complacency. College is a valuable period of time, and it is advisable to seek a compatible partner with whom to collaborate in advancing together and planning for the future.

It is my sincere hope that the aforementioned information will prove beneficial in helping you to comprehend your own negative emotions and to pursue a life of happiness. I wish you success in your academic endeavours and happiness in life!

Once you've nurtured, you can be grateful.

My neighbor also adopted.

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I'm not going to mention this.

To the person who asked the question, we can't change our original family. It's not something we can do, and we also understand your feelings, which lack a sense of security.

I can see that the questioner is grateful to his family and appreciates all they've done for him.

It's just a matter of sitting down and having a good heart-to-heart talk.

This is the way things are, and I feel sorry for you.

You don't think the way things have fallen out is ideal.

It also means that you believe you are in control of your own destiny.

If you think you can control your destiny, you're suffering because of it.

It's clear that the girl is already deeply involved. We need to get out of this situation and not let circumstances sway us. It'll be tough, but we can do it. To get rid of such obsessive thinking, you need to start with your emotions.

As your emotional issues start to improve, this kind of thinking will slow down or even disappear. Once you've resolved the underlying problem with your thinking, your emotions will start to feel better.

Here are some more effective ways to regulate your emotions:

1. Self-acceptance.

2. Distraction.

3. Meditation.

Our young hearts have been hurt, and we need to get through it, not dwell on the painful memories. Childhood wounds can only be slowly healed. It'll take time, but we can still stand on our own two feet, be confident, love and accept ourselves.

You're a kind girl. We're here for ourselves, so we need to face reality head-on and push through to overcome everything.

I truly believe that a kind girl's life is getting better and better, full of hope and sunshine, and that she loves herself.

We're all here for you. We really hope you can learn to love yourself, accept everything, and look at everything with a positive attitude.

We'll show you what we mean with our actions, and we'll make sure you don't feel inferior or alone, or sad or disappointed. We're in this together, and we'll walk the long road of life with you.

It rains, and the clouds know. The flowers bloom, and the leaves know.

Do you think it's sprouting? The soil knows. I care about you, and I know.