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Every night, only returning between 1 and 3 am, hiding from my disapproval, how should our marriage proceed?

Lantern Festival New Year behavior Reckless behavior Emotional pain Divorce consideration
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Every night, only returning between 1 and 3 am, hiding from my disapproval, how should our marriage proceed? By Anonymous | Published on December 18, 2024

Every year during the Lantern Festival, when he returns home for the New Year, he treats me well. After the New Year, he behaves recklessly, going out to smoke and drink, indulging in pleasure, and doesn't return home until between one and three in the morning every day. Often, he's so drunk that he doesn't come back at all. I can't speak out when he's wrong, nor can I hit him; I work every day. He hides from me, looks down on me, and even provokes me. I'm seething with anger, but I also think about myself; there's nothing I can do, so I've always been suffering in silence! He's so fake; I don't trust him at all. I'm so scared that after the New Year, he'll still indulge in drinking and entertainment. What should I do, and how should I deal with my child's emotions?

Hello, I'm in so much psychological pain I can't sleep! I believe all this is suffering; I feel like a sufferer at the end of their rope, struggling desperately. I want a divorce; living this kind of life as a widower is suffocating, and in this environment, I can't teach my child well and I feel extremely scared! My child will always be just an outsider, with no importance. But then I think about it; we rent a house, and he always says, "Get out! This is my rented house; I'm using my money." My whole family is at a loss, my dad is so worried about me; he's broken his heart for me. Think about how I've let them down and burdened them. What should I do if I leave? No one can stop him; he's like a mad bull, and I'm under so much mental pressure, I always shed tears... His repeated smoking and drinking, coming home late at night, has made me feel so cold-hearted! What should I do now? How should I face everything that has happened? [Crying][Crying][Crying][Crying]

Justin Xavier Howard Justin Xavier Howard A total of 8513 people have been helped

Let's talk about understanding emptiness analysis.

I totally get where you're coming from and I'm really sorry you're going through this. It's so tough when you're in a bad marriage and things just aren't working out. I just want you to know that you're not alone and you're not the only one who's been there.

It's so important to remember that you're not alone in this. There are people who care about you and who want to help.

I really think you should consider seeking help from a professional counselor or psychologist. They can help you sort out your thoughts, relieve your emotions, and provide targeted advice and support. At the same time, you can also share your troubles and distress with your family and friends around you. They'll be there for you, and their support and understanding may bring you some comfort and encouragement.

If you're facing marriage problems, it's important to remember that divorce is a big decision that requires careful consideration. Before making a decision, you can consider talking with your husband to express your feelings and thoughts. You might find that you can solve the problem through communication and negotiation.

If you feel that things have reached a point where you just can't go on, and you don't think you can change the situation, then divorce might be an option for you. But please, make the decision when you're calm and rational.

While facing marital problems, it's so important to remember to put the interests of your children first. Try to remain calm and rational, and don't let your emotions affect your children.

It's so important to do your best to create a stable and healthy family environment for your child's growth and happiness.

You've got this! No matter what difficulties you encounter, believe in your courage and ability to face them and find a solution. You are not alone. There are many people around you who are willing to help and support you.

I really hope you can find your own answers as soon as possible, get out of this tricky situation, and start enjoying peace and happiness in your life again. If you need to chat or talk things over further, I'm always here for you.

Come on, my friend!

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Timothy Kennedy Timothy Kennedy A total of 3881 people have been helped

Hello, I can see you're angry, scared, and helpless. How can you manage your marriage? You're unhappy with your marriage and your partner, but don't know what to do.

Your confusion and disorientation are making you feel bad. What can you do?

Your life with your husband is tense except during Chinese New Year in your hometown. He often comes home late, sometimes drunk.

You have a lot of grievances. Why? It seems you can't speak or fight back.

The other person seems to be avoiding you and disliking you. You feel angry and aggrieved.

But there are things you can't help, and you keep hurting yourself. What are they?

You try to comfort yourself with fate, but it doesn't help. You can't sleep because you're hurting. You feel for yourself. You know you won't be good for your child.

But getting a divorce makes you worry a lot. All this internal conflict is exhausting.

These conflicting emotions are understandable, but they need to be sorted out. If you want to, you should see a professional, like a counselor.

With their help, you can understand your thoughts and conflicts better.

It takes time to form a deep freeze, and your problems with your husband were not caused overnight. In a relationship between two people, if you want to change the status quo, one person must always have the courage to change first.

If your partner isn't willing, are you willing to see yourself and change?

Best wishes!

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Roxana Lee Roxana Lee A total of 4471 people have been helped

Hello!

You feel your husband is always accusing you, nitpicking, and driving you away. You feel anxious and sad, and these days are overwhelming. You feel this is also not good for the children, but you also feel that the children do not share your surname. You are worried about your parents and afraid of burdening them.

This might be why you're staying with him. I understand how you feel, and I'm here for you.

It seems like you and your husband have been living like this for a long time. Have you talked to each other? I can tell you need your husband, but you also seem intolerant.

If you need him to come home early, stop attacking you, or have a stable marriage, you need to tell your husband what you need.

You said you can't say anything or hit him when he comes home late, drinks, and makes you sad. Your passivity encourages his behavior. Enduring time and time again lowers your bottom line. Infinite tolerance makes the other person feel that there is nothing wrong with what he is doing.

Guard your boundaries. When the other person accuses you of making you do it, tell them how sad and wrong it is, and that they're taking advantage.

You can vent without getting emotional. There is no shame in divorce.

A marriage where you are unhappy is better than starting over. Think about what you really need.

If you and your husband cannot reconcile, you can go through life step by step. But if you still have expectations, you will be sad. Think carefully about what you need to do.

Your children are still your children, even if the other person doesn't share your last name. Don't transfer your disgust for your husband to your children.

When you educate your children, you set an example for them. Your attitude towards your husband may also influence your children. How you handle your relationship with your husband also sets an example for your children.

If you're not happy, your parents will worry. They might worry about your divorce, but they'll worry even more about your mental state in this kind of marriage.

If you're happy and well, that'll comfort your parents.

I hope this helps. Best wishes!

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Camden Knight Camden Knight A total of 4976 people have been helped

Hello, I hope my suggestions help.

There are three ways to solve this problem.

Our physical and mental health is the most important thing.

It is important to take care of your body and mind. This means going to the hospital for checkups or seeing a counselor. It also means taking care of your family.

Secondly, our life development.

This includes our careers, our lives, and our relationships with our children.

We also need to take care of our family in a calm state. This includes both physical and emotional aspects.

We need to take care of ourselves and our families.

The third is marital problems.

Our marriage is already over. We just need to sort ourselves out and choose the right way forward.

Once we've done these two things, our lives can get better. We can also be happy. It's like being divorced. Can we live well on our own? If we can, it doesn't matter if we have a divorce certificate or not. It seems like our partner doesn't care about the family either.

If we decide that a divorce is better for us, we will go to a lawyer or find a partner to handle the divorce.

We often have expectations of how our partner should behave. For example, we mind if they don't do the housework, come home late, or care about us. But if we divorce, we won't mind if they clean the house or what time they come home.

It's important to adjust our state of mind. When we communicate calmly, we can sort out our answers.

We don't know what our partner is thinking. Does he want a divorce? Is he unaware of his responsibilities? Or does he have a problem with us? These reasons have led to the weakening of the marital relationship, and he has stopped coming home.

If we want to save our marriage, we need to talk and find out if he wants a divorce or not. Do we need to make changes? We can then make decisions based on what he wants and what we want.

I hope you can maintain your health and find a way that works for you.

Love you!

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Comments

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Julia Anderson A teacher's patience is a virtue that students cherish and learn from.

I understand your pain and frustration. It's important to prioritize your wellbeing and that of your child. Perhaps seeking counseling could offer some guidance on how to approach this situation with your husband and improve communication between you two.

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Benjamin Jackson True learning is a journey of becoming a well-rounded individual.

It sounds like you're feeling very trapped and powerless in this situation. Sometimes, taking a step back and focusing on selfcare can provide clarity. Maybe consider talking to someone who can offer support, such as a friend, family member, or professional counselor.

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Jacques Miller The difference between success and failure can be as simple as a positive attitude towards setbacks.

Facing such behavior from someone close is incredibly tough. If staying in this environment continues to harm you and your child emotionally, exploring options for a safer living situation might be necessary. Support groups can be helpful too, offering advice and strength from those who have faced similar challenges.

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Rodney Miller The best revenge is massive success.

Your feelings are valid, and it's okay to seek help when you're overwhelmed. If divorce feels like the only way out, it might be worth consulting a legal advisor to understand your rights and the best steps forward regarding your housing and finances.

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Federico Jackson Forgiveness is the best revenge.

The emotional toll this is taking on you must be immense. It's crucial to find a way to express these feelings safely. Writing down your thoughts or engaging in therapy could help process everything you're going through and assist in making decisions about your future.

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