Extremely dissatisfied with the results of the postgraduate entrance examination, what if you can't settle down to fight again?

Hello, question asker! Thanks for the question.

I get it. You're going through a lot right now. The postgraduate entrance exam, work pressure, and physical discomfort are all adding up to a lot of stress.

It's totally normal to feel angry, disappointed, and helpless in this situation. Here are some thoughts on your situation that I hope will be helpful.

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First of all, I want to say that you're not alone. Many people face similar challenges at some point in their lives and feel confused and helpless.

Failing the exam doesn't mean you're not able to do the job. It just means you didn't do as well as you could have on this particular exam. Please don't deny yourself because of this. Everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses. What matters is finding a way to learn and cope that works for you.

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As for memorization, it's definitely a process that requires patience and perseverance. You might want to try changing up your memorization method, like using associative memory or creating mind maps, to make it more interesting and efficient.

At the same time, you need to learn to think differently. Don't see memorization as a burden. See it as the only way to improve your professional quality.

You said you can't accept others looking down on your grades, which is totally normal. But remember, other people's opinions don't define our value.

Your value isn't defined by a single exam result. It's about your character, talents, potential, and other factors. Believe in yourself and don't let a temporary setback stop you.

I get it. You're worried about taking the exam again. It's a big decision. But if you're interested in psychology and think you can do better with hard work, why not give it a shot?

Of course, before you make a decision, you've got to think it through and make sure you can stick to it.

Ultimately, believe in yourself and go for it with determination. Life's path isn't always smooth, but it's these setbacks and difficulties that make us stronger and more mature.

Please take this valuable experience and use it to believe in your ability to overcome any difficulties and embrace a brighter future.

I also think it's important to manage and treat your physical health before making any decisions. Your physical health is the foundation of everything. It'll help you face the challenges of life and pursue your dreams.

In short, whether you choose to continue your postgraduate studies or find another path in life, remember that your value isn't defined by the results of a single exam. Believe in yourself, face the future bravely, and you'll find your own bright path!

Best of luck, questioner! ? Your dreams will come true, despite what you might think.

Hello, classmate. I'm Sister Chao from Yixinli.

You think that if you fail the exam, you have to say goodbye to your good high school grades. You think your good grades are temporary, and you're right. But so are the unsatisfactory grades, which are also temporary. Just like youth and pain, they are all temporary and not permanent!

You're angry at yourself for not being able to accept failure like everyone else, for preparing for the second battle, or for wishing you were one of those who successfully made it. You want to prove to yourself that "I can" and "I'm okay" more than the average person.

Everyone needs to feel like they've achieved something. That's why most people want to succeed and be recognized by others.

There are many ways to succeed. Everyone has their own value and their own areas of expertise. You must also have something that others want to do but can't...or you have your own unique advantages. Before others affirm you, give yourself more positive feedback, see your own efforts and attempts, see that you are listening carefully to your body's feedback, and love yourself for your actions. ?

Our emotions stem from our feelings and thoughts. This means you can acknowledge your current feelings of unhappiness and anger without letting them control you. Remind yourself that this situation is temporary and that you will eventually live the life you want.

Why do you want to take the postgraduate entrance exam? Do you love psychology?

If you can't let go of those questions and calm your mind, you're not sure if this is the path you want to take, which is another reason for failing the exam.

I failed the postgraduate entrance exam three times. I'm not great at taking exams, but I'm working on it. I'm not taking the exam this year, but I'm still learning the content of "Psychology" and "Family Education Guidance" in my own way. Taking a break is a buffer for my emotions, and it also reminds me that there is not only one way to get to the other side of my dreams, which is to take the postgraduate entrance exam. First, I will do what I can do now. If I have to take the postgraduate entrance exam in the future, I will try again.

If you find a goal you love and want to achieve it, you will take action and be a lot happier. ?

Embrace your true self and find the path you want to follow most.

Hello. I am a Heart Exploration coach, Gu Daoxi Fengshou.

I've experienced these moments of confusion too. I've put in the effort, but I haven't seen the results I deserve. Are other people's standards wrong? This is particularly frustrating when we feel we've done a great job. I understand the questioner's feelings. Let me reassure you that you're not alone.

But objective facts remain unchanged regardless of subjective feelings. Those exam papers we didn't do well on and the work we didn't do well prove that we really don't have a firm grasp of some knowledge or have chosen an unsuitable direction of effort.

From the questioner's description, it is clear that the questioner was once a high-achieving student with excellent grades. The frustration of failing the postgraduate entrance exam may make it challenging for the questioner to accept this gap. It is difficult for us to accept the fact that we have not performed as well as we would have liked. When there is a discrepancy between our ideal self and our real self, it is natural to feel a sense of failure.

The questioner should evaluate their own performance objectively. It is not as easy as we think to move from one track to another. The questioner feels that "why can't I do well at something that other people can do well, when we are all the same?" Who are these people? Does the questioner know the passing rate of postgraduate entrance exams?

Objectively examining the facts will help the questioner break out of their subjective perception of self-denial.

The questioner should keep an emotional diary to understand the unease behind their second failure. They should identify whether they are worried that they will fail the exam again, that they dislike the exam, or that they have to face a painful situation despite their dislike of the major. Confronting their fears will help them see their true self.

You can't be good at everything. It's okay to admit you're not great at something. When you accept yourself, it makes you less twisted.

Life is a line made up of individual dots, and a temporary failure does not prove anything. The questioner must be more patient and take things slowly.

People who can take the exam a second time either have no financial pressure or are more resilient to setbacks. The questioner needs to improve their resilience to setbacks and increase their ability to shrug off failure.

You must think about why you want to do something. It's more important than doing it. The saying is right: "If you don't set out in the right direction, all your efforts will be in vain." When we have clearly thought about what we want to do, we have more strength and can face failure better.

Hasty selection of a track to avoid another will not increase our motivation to move forward or our ability to succeed. Let me be clear: no one can succeed easily. The questioner may need to work many times harder than before. I really like the saying: "Success is choosing a goal, determining the price to pay, and then paying it in full without fail!"

I strongly encourage the questioner to do the same.

Read "Grit" and "Growing Up for Life."

Best wishes!

Hello, question asker! My name is June Lai Feng.

From what you've shared, it seems that you're facing some challenges, including the pressure of the postgraduate entrance exam and career choices, as well as a range of complex and intense emotions. This is a completely normal reaction.

It is important to remember that it is normal to feel a range of emotions, including sadness, disappointment, and frustration, when facing the results of the postgraduate entrance examination. It is natural to have expectations and to feel let down when they are not met.

It is possible that comparing your current situation with past successes may lead to feelings of sadness. This could be due to issues of self-perception and self-esteem. Perhaps past successes have led you to have high expectations of yourself, and this setback has created a conflict in this perception, which has had a significant psychological impact.

It is possible that resistance to studying psychology again, including the dislike of memorizing content and the association with negative emotional recall cues, may stem from a fear of failure and a desire to avoid it. It is also possible that every contact with related content will evoke previous negative experiences, leading to emotional resistance.

It is understandable that one might be concerned about how others will evaluate them, particularly if they are unable to accept criticism or a sudden drop in performance. This can reflect a high degree of attention to social evaluation and uncertainty about self-worth. In such cases, it is easy to internalize other people's opinions as a negative judgment of oneself, which can further exacerbate negative emotions.

Additionally, it is possible that an inability to "win" like everyone else may be influenced by individual coping styles and psychological qualities. It is understandable that everyone deals with setbacks and stress in their own way. Some people may be more adept at letting go of the past and starting anew, while you may require more time to adjust your mindset and navigate your emotions.

It might be helpful to consider that avoidance behavior, such as viewing a lumbar disc herniation as an excuse to resign, could be a way of coping with stress.

Facing your inner self is an important step, and while letting go of these problems does take time, there are some psychological adjustment strategies you can try to help yourself.

Perhaps it would be helpful to start with emotional acceptance. This could mean allowing yourself to express your feelings and emotions. It's often the case that our emotions are not singular, but complex and intertwined. It's quite common to feel a range of emotions at the same time, such as helplessness, anger and confusion.

It is important not to suppress or ignore these emotions, but rather to give them the appropriate expression and attention. You may find it helpful to talk to others, keep a diary, or engage in an emotional release activity that suits you.

Secondly, it would be beneficial to adopt a more self-compassionate attitude, recognising that everyone has different challenges and strengths and that it is not always necessary to be overly critical of oneself. It is not uncommon to compare oneself to others, however, it is important to remember that everyone's path and abilities are different.

It's important to remember that other people's success doesn't necessarily mean your failure, and grades don't fully define your worth. It might be helpful to focus on your own progress and personal growth, rather than paying too much attention to the comments or achievements of others.

It may be helpful to accept the results of the past and let go of your obsession with it. While the past is gone and cannot be changed, you can choose how to face the future.

It might be helpful to focus on the current opportunities and possibilities, set new goals, revisit your career and academic goals, set more realistic and achievable goals, and take positive actions to move in your direction.

Additionally, challenges and setbacks are an inherent part of life, and they can also serve as valuable opportunities for growth and learning. It might be helpful to view this experience as an opportunity for reflection and personal growth.

It might be helpful to consider what you can learn from this, how you can adjust your learning methods or coping strategies, and how you can better cope with stress and challenges. You might like to explore different learning methods, such as spaced repetition, active recall, and teaching others, to improve learning efficiency.

It is possible that boredom and resistance to studying psychology may be related to learning styles or personal interests. You may wish to consider whether there are other learning methods that suit you better, or whether you could try to find a field or topic related to psychology that sparks your interest.

If you feel you would benefit from some additional support, you may wish to consider speaking with family members, friends, or professional counselors. They can provide a valuable listening ear, understanding, and a different perspective to help you find a way to cope.

Everyone's journey is different, and there is no need to compare yourself to others. It is important to believe in your ability to cope with these challenges and gradually find a way that suits you to deal with your emotions and move on.

Studying psychology can be a great way to gain more self-awareness and coping skills. However, it's important to remember that you don't have to force yourself to pursue it if it's not something you're interested in or able to cope with at the moment. Paying attention to your own internal needs and finding a path that truly suits you is a valuable step in the right direction.

I would like to extend my love and best wishes to the world and to you.

Hello, dear friend!

From your words, I can feel the emotions you can't place. At this moment, I'll give you a hug. It's okay, you're just temporarily in a difficult situation. I can see that you are bravely helping yourself to get out of it, and I'm here to support you every step of the way!

From your description, I can tell that you've been at the top of your class since your freshman year, and this has always been your pride. I can also tell that this experience of failing the postgraduate entrance exam, especially the score in your major, has brought you a huge letdown. But don't worry! This is an opportunity for you to grow and learn.

Perhaps the moment you found out your score, you felt sad, angry, and confused. This result was very different from your own evaluation and understanding of yourself, and you felt a bit lost. But you're going to figure it out! Why couldn't I do this well? Will others look down on me because of this?

In terms of work, a job in a bank may not be the ideal fit. But don't worry! Regarding the results of the postgraduate entrance exam, your family can support you in taking the exam again next year.

However, now, when you want to fight again for one more year, you find that the process of studying and reviewing always reminds you of the anger and humiliation of the last exam result. So you are caught in a whirlpool of emotions.

These are perfectly normal questions, and your emotions are a true reflection of your inner state and needs. You want to face up to this failed postgraduate entrance exam result and be able to prepare for the exam with peace of mind—and you will!

I'd like to ask you a few questions that I think will really help you! If you think about them seriously, they'll help you to get your thoughts in order.

1. Why do you want to take the postgraduate entrance exam? What can it bring you?

2. Why do you want to study psychology? Is this a major you love?

Have you considered any other options besides this major?

3. What other exciting opportunities are there besides taking postgraduate entrance exams?

4. What kind of life do you want to lead in the future? How can taking the postgraduate entrance exam help you achieve your dream life?

The postgraduate entrance exam is an incredible journey that will test you in ways you never imagined. It's much more challenging than the college entrance exam, but that's what makes it so rewarding. Failure is a natural part of the process, but it's how we learn and grow. Embrace the challenge and enjoy the ride!

Because it is a long and exciting journey, we must first clarify our goals and motivations – why do I want to do it? We may repeatedly be confronted with the need to reconsider this answer, and we need to keep searching for reasons to persevere in practice, so that we can adjust our strategies and keep going when we encounter difficulties.

Having a clear goal to persevere with is like having a map—it's the key to success!

The second thing to remember is that the postgraduate entrance exam is all about having a passion for this professional knowledge. External praise, expectations, and pressure can only be temporary incentives and won't last. So, make sure you're studying something you love!

The gaze of others can be a great motivator, but it can also be a bit of a double-edged sword. In this state, it can be tough to truly connect with what we're doing. But what can really last and steadily persist is having an interest and love for what you're doing!

Psychology is an amazingly interesting subject. It's so much more than just memorizing textbook knowledge! If you pay attention to life, you'll see that textbook knowledge often pops up in specific cases. So, if you realize that psychology isn't your passion, choose a major that you love! It'll make you happier in your studies, help you get positive feedback in your learning, and give you a steady stream of inner joy. That way, you'll be able to go faster and farther down the road to success!

Now for the fun part! It's time to develop a learning strategy. Once you've made a decision and found your direction and passion, it's time to consider the best ways and methods of learning.

It's time to find the perfect learning routine, method, and flow state for you! Break those long-term tasks into small, achievable stages. And don't be shy about giving yourself a well-deserved pat on the back and some well-earned praise when you complete them.

Let your enthusiasm and carefree state of mind carry you through to the end of each stage goal! When you make a mistake in the review, don't beat yourself up about it. Just think about how you can improve and move on!

Mistakes are just stepping stones to success! They show you the right direction.

The postgraduate entrance exam is not the only thing in life. Life is made up of many, many things. A failed experience is just one of many events in life, and there are many more meaningful and interesting things waiting for you in your life. And while failing the postgraduate entrance exam brings frustration, it also brings more revelations and triggers a lot of thinking—and that's a good thing!

I think your courage is already here. And I think this failed attempt is going to bring you a different kind of gain in terms of life!

I want to give you a big thumbs-up for facing your emotions and your failures! And I'll give you another hug for struggling in a difficult situation. No matter what decision you make, whether you succeed or fail, there will always be someone there to support and love you!

I wish you all the best and peace of mind!

Hello, my child. I am confident that my answer will be of some help to you.

After reading your description, I understand your confusion and distress. You want to take a break and dislike the 7 to 7 workday schedule at the bank. Your family has suggested that you go back to graduate school, but you don't seem to be able to settle down to study again. You feel a bit lost. You feel that you have the ability to face your inner self, but it's hard to let go of these problems you mentioned. I don't know what your goal is in going back to graduate school. Do you want to learn psychology well?

Or is it to find a good job? What is your life goal?

You don't have to go to graduate school to achieve this goal. In fact, real psychology is not about memorizing facts. It's about applying and understanding them in practice, in your own growth process, and in life. Psychology is a very useful subject. If you study it systematically, it can give you a lot of help. You can use the knowledge of psychology to help yourself now.

My advice to you is this:

You need to clarify the general direction of your life development. What is the purpose of your postgraduate studies? Are there other ways and options to achieve this goal? Which one would you prefer?

Let's be honest. Why do we want to pursue a master's degree, and why do we want to pursue a master's degree in psychology? I've asked many people this question, and most of them told me it's to find a good job. I don't know what your reason is, but if you really want to find a good job and pursuing a master's degree just isn't for you, is there really no other way to achieve this goal?

Many friends I know may not have very high academic qualifications, but they are very good at their jobs and enjoy them. They know their own value and experience the joy of work itself because they like and are good at what they do.

I took the postgraduate entrance exam to find a good job, and during the process of studying for my master's degree, I came to understand one thing: I am not suited to scientific research. I don't like being around jars and bottles, mice and rats, cells, microscopes, and so on. As a result, I eventually gave up my original degree and major and chose to work in psychological counseling, which I really like and am passionate about, at the age of 30.

Let me be clear: postgraduate study does not determine or define a person's success or failure. What we ultimately need is to achieve the goals and ideals that we really want to accomplish. If psychology is not the direction you aspire to, it may be very difficult for you to pursue it. However, if you can find your passion and talent, you will be successful regardless of whether you are in the field of psychology. And if you really want to help yourself by studying psychology, you will find there is not just one path, such as postgraduate study. I myself did not study psychology at the postgraduate level, but I did take some doctoral courses at the Institute of Psychology of the Chinese Academy of Sciences (which did not require an exam), and then systematically studied many other psychology courses, read a lot of related books, and participated in a lot of practice, experience, and growth. In the end, I was also able to really help myself and others through psychology.

2. You can adjust your state of mind by seeing some of your irrational beliefs and adjusting your perception.

Your description reveals a multitude of unreasonable beliefs. It's possible you're unaware of them. I believe it's crucial for you to understand that, from a psychological standpoint, it's not the event itself that affects our state. It's our perception and thoughts about it. When we identify these limiting beliefs and replace them with reasonable ones, we can establish a positive thinking pattern and change our state.

For example, you might think, "I'm doomed to fail. I'll never get good grades in high school." But you're wrong. You can't fail if you don't try. If you find an effective learning method, enhance your internal learning motivation, and improve learning efficiency, you will succeed. One failure does not mean you will fail every time. Have confidence in yourself, and success will come.

Another example: You say, "Why can't I do the same things as other people?" You may not be able to do the things that other people can do well, but you can do it. It just may take some time and methods. If you are willing to learn from your experiences and break down the specific problems in the process of preparing for the exam, you will be able to do the things well next time. Moreover, there are things that you do well, while others may not necessarily be able to do well. We all have our own strengths and weaknesses, so there is no need to completely deny yourself.

Let me be clear: it is not others who are responsible for your sudden drop in grades. It is you. You are the one who needs to accept yourself and your reality. You cannot expect others to accept you if you do not accept yourself. The solution is simple: learn to accept yourself, accept your reality, and accept who you really are. Only when you do this will you have the strength to change and grow.

3. If you want to continue studying for the postgraduate entrance exam and psychology, you need to learn how to deal with the difficulty of memorization.

If you want to pass the postgraduate entrance exam in psychology, I can help you with your memorization.

First, you don't need to memorize too much every day. Set very specific and clear goals, such as memorizing 1-2 points of knowledge and repeating them 7 times. You will become familiar with them. Don't worry about using the original words for the content you memorize. Just make sure you understand it clearly and then say it in your own words. This will reduce the pressure of memorization and enable you to truly master this knowledge.

Second, when memorizing, you must give yourself timely feedback every day, positive feedback. Don't dwell on the pressure of memorization. Instead, focus on the progress and growth you've achieved through your efforts, the impact of your learning, and the progress of your review. This will empower you. For example, every day after you've memorized a point, put a check mark next to that goal on your list, affirm yourself from the bottom of your heart, and persist in completing the small goal of memorization for 10 days. You can give yourself a big reward, which will give you continuous motivation to learn.

Third, manage your memorization time well. The best times to memorize are after waking up in the morning and before going to bed at night. These periods are free of the effects of prior and subsequent learning inhibition, respectively. I can still remember that when I was in high school, I never needed to use any other time to memorize English words. I could efficiently and easily complete my daily word memorization task by just using these two time periods in the morning and evening. You can try it too.

This is for your reference. You will live, study, and work easily, happily, and fully.

You're not happy with your postgraduate entrance exam results, your work schedule, or your family's suggestion to retake the exam. You're overwhelmed with thoughts and feelings.

I get it!

Let's talk about this.

1. You felt sad, upset, lost, and even miserable after last year's postgraduate entrance exam. Why?

You did well in school and got into graduate school.

When I learned the truth, I couldn't accept it. This may have caused my emotions. But exams only test past knowledge. A good score shows past mastery, not future success.

If you only got half the marks for a psychology course, it means you don't understand the subject. If you don't know what you don't know, you don't understand the subject.

Good knowledge leads to good exam results. You always do well, so you should do well this time too.

2. Do you like psychology? How would you rate your interest?

I don't like this major. I've never been interested in college. I like psychology, but I'm not interested in the exams.

The above three possibilities are 1, 5, and 10 points. Think about your state.

3. Think about how your major relates to your future career.

I don't want to pursue a career in psychology. Some careers in psychology are acceptable. I value the career dimensions of XX and XX.

4. Why do you want to take the postgraduate entrance exam?

If you don't think about it, it's hard to stay motivated. Without a good reason, you won't succeed. If you want to find a good job and pursue a career in psychology, you should take the postgraduate entrance exam now.

If you think postgraduate studies are difficult, you can choose another path. If you think your major is your career, you can find relevant work experience before going to postgraduate school. If you don't have goals, you're wasting time.

5. "I hate the 7 to 7 workday in the bank. Use this as an excuse to quit and recuperate at home."

Seven to seven is long. Many colleagues work like this, so why do they accept it? Perhaps the biggest difference is whether there is a way out. If there is no way out, they will work hard. If there is a way out, they will escape. Are there other positions with shorter hours? Is it possible to transfer?

The first thing is to think about it and try. Most likely, you chose the easy way because you have a family to take care of.

6. "I'm angry. Why can't I do the same things as other people? Why can't I do well at things that other people can do well? Why do I find it so hard to accept others looking down on me because of my poor performance?"

If you do a good job, it depends on your interest and motivation. Methods matter, but they're not the core. Maybe you're angry because you used to do well but now you don't.

If others look down on you, it's your perception. It may not be true. People who care about you won't look down on you. People who don't care about you are busy and tired. They may not have the energy to look down on anyone. It's your feelings that make you think this way.

This is a quick summary of how to solve problems. It's about understanding the truth, knowing what you want, setting a good goal, and then making a choice. This is true for postgraduate entrance exams and probably also for life!