Hello, I'm a heart exploration coach. Life is a beautiful journey, and it's so important to embrace it fully.
Dear friend, there's absolutely nothing wrong with having these thoughts and desires. In fact, almost everyone has these desires! Even when you're in a close relationship, you can still feel lonely. Even as an adult, you still hope to be warmly embraced.
There's nothing more beautiful than when you're young and you long for a beautiful love to nourish you.
Twenty-four is such a great age! You're just starting to enter the real world with a little bit of money in the bank, your life and career are just beginning to take off, and you'll meet someone special along the way.
But our youth will also leave a deeper or shallower mark, like your sense of loneliness, crying alone in the middle of the night, and hugging yourself in a corner. These are all traces of our growth, my dear friend.
It's because of these traces that we feel so deeply, that we know time is flying by, and that we should really treasure the beauty of the present.
I'd love to help you understand where this feeling of loneliness comes from. It seems like you're afraid to tell your parents your desires, like it's the suppression of inner emotions, like you "are not allowed" to be yourself, and like too many demands and restrictions prevent you from truly releasing yourself.
It's only when we appreciate, affirm, identify with, and accept ourselves that we can truly be accepted by others. In other words, before we can expect to receive love from others, we must first learn to love ourselves.
Love is something that we're born with, but it can also be learned and grown. When we're young, our parents give us the love we need to thrive. As we grow up, we can learn and train to become even more loving.
For instance, one of the simplest ways to do this is to give yourself some positive feedback. When you're meditating, try to connect with yourself deeply and feel your feelings. You might even feel the same way you would if you were being embraced by the man of your dreams!
We all feel lonely sometimes. It's only natural! But how can we break this sense of loneliness?
Loneliness is a feeling of isolation from others and the outside world. It can be caused by a lack of self-worth, which is totally normal!
A person with a high sense of worth also has a high sense of security and presence. Even when they're alone, they still feel connected to something bigger than themselves.
Because he has a positive view of himself and is able to give positive feedback to others, he naturally enjoys the happiness of getting along with others.
People with low self-esteem are sensitive and easily hurt. They need to find security and a sense of existence through various "proofs." They don't give themselves or others positive feedback, and are unable to experience the joy and ease of being with others.
It's so important to remember that everyone is worthy of love and belonging.
You can definitely break through that feeling of loneliness! Here are a few ways you can do it:
(1) Take a moment to be with your loneliness. See what your heart is longing for. Is it love and a warm embrace? The security of having someone to rely on?
(2) Let's tell ourselves, "I have choices."
When loneliness strikes, you are not "forced" to be lonely. You have the power to choose to be lonely, turning passivity into activeness. This allows you to see more choices and possibilities.
It's so important to express love in a bold way. We are deeply influenced by our parents' implicit emotional patterns and are accustomed to suppressing our true emotions. It's so shameful to feel and express!
If you have someone you love now, then by all means, go ahead and confess your feelings! It's totally up to them whether or not they accept you, and it won't affect your right to love. If you don't have someone yet, then open up your social circle and go meet someone to fall in love with!
I really think you should check out The Power of Self-Growth and It Turns Out That Understanding Is More Important Than Love by Cong Fei. They're great! And I really hope you have a life filled with lots of love. The butterfly hug is really lovely and very healing. You should try it every day, crossing your arms and hugging yourself from behind.
I really hope the above is helpful to you, and I just want to say that I love you, the world, and I'm here for you!
If you'd like to keep the conversation going, you can follow my personal page, "Heart Exploration Service."
Comments
I understand how deeply you're feeling this loneliness, and it's okay to want comfort and closeness. It might help to talk about these feelings with a trusted friend or a counselor who can offer support and understanding.
It sounds like you're going through a tough time and it's important to acknowledge your emotions. Perhaps exploring why the desire for a male's embrace has become so strong recently could provide some insights. You might find therapy helpful for this exploration.
Feeling this way doesn't mean there's something wrong with you. Many people experience intense emotional needs at different points in their lives. Connecting with others through social activities or clubs that interest you might help ease the loneliness.
It's brave of you to reflect on these feelings. Sometimes, writing down your thoughts and what triggers these moments of longing can be therapeutic. It might also be beneficial to look into support groups where you can share experiences with others who feel similarly.
Your parents seem to be a source of comfort for you, and it's good that you have that. Maybe you can start by talking to them about your general feelings of loneliness without going into specifics. They might be able to offer more support than you expect.