Extremely sensitive, prone to crying, and too much like Lin Daiyu in character—what should I do?

Hello question asker!

I understand. I can see your sensitivity, helplessness, and desire to change from the lines. Let's look:

I understand. I can feel the sensitivity, helplessness, and desire to change from the lines. Let's look at them together:

"Later, I read Dream of the Red Chamber. I realized our personalities were too similar."

"Later, I read Dream of the Red Chamber. I realized our personalities are too similar."

This is like the medical student syndrome, where you apply your knowledge to yourself and find it's like a disease.

This is like the medical student syndrome, where the knowledge you learn seems to apply to you. You'll find it's getting more and more like it, as if you have every disease.

The questioner compares his situation to Daiyu's in Dream of the Red Chamber and finds they are alike.

"I don't like this personality. I don't want to be like this. I feel depressed every day. I probably won't live long."

This is the gap between what you want and what you have. You can't change it, but you can stop thinking about it. If you think about it too much, you'll start to think, "I feel so depressed every day, I probably won't live long." This is not true.

This is the gap between what you want and what you have. You start to think, "I feel so depressed every day, I probably won't live long." This is just your own assumption.

Then I will talk about a few ways to adjust.

Then I will talk about a few ways to adjust.

Accept yourself.

Be yourself.

Accept your strengths and weaknesses, as well as your current and past states. Accept that you are weak, gentle, and melancholy. Accept that some things cannot be changed. Don't blame yourself and don't put too much pressure on yourself.

Accept your strengths and weaknesses, past and present. Don't blame yourself or put too much pressure on yourself.

You have to accept your imperfections and believe you can change for the better.

Be aware of your emotions.

Record your sensitivity. Analyze your thoughts. See if there's a difference after the event.

Record your sensitivity. Note what you care about. Then, think about your thoughts at the time. See if your thoughts change after the event.

Next time you encounter a similar situation, you will think of this point and try to see things from the other person's perspective. You will then realize that you may have misunderstood them.

Deliberate practice

Make small changes. Replace negative thoughts with positive ones. Think more positively.

Take a deep breath when you feel sensitive or vulnerable. With practice, you'll become more immune to these emotions.

You can also try new hobbies and activities to focus on things you like.

I hope my answer helps. Best wishes!

I hope my answer helps. Best wishes!

Hello, question asker! I am the answerer, Silver Fox.

Your writing reveals a great deal of pressure, grievance, and insecurity.

Your writing reveals a great deal about your feelings. You are under a lot of pressure, you feel wronged, and you are insecure. You are clear and direct in your expression, and you have formed judgments and concerns.

Your writing still reveals strong emotions, but you are clearly full of emotion. I believe we can resolve this issue, and I will also share my thoughts, offering different perspectives.

Let's start by looking at what happened.

Let's start by looking at what happened.

I have seen you describe some things. Let's list them in bullet points. That will make it clearer.

1. Family members and teachers have said that you and Daiyu have similar personalities, and you know there is some resemblance.

2. You searched extensively for evidence and found numerous similarities to confirm your suspicions.

3. This personality makes you feel a strong aversion.

4. You have identified social problems and are seeking solutions.

I want to know what is behind the situation.

Every experience has a hidden message, and we must confront the feelings we've been avoiding. Let's examine the encounters we previously sorted to understand their true meaning.

Your family and teachers have said that you are very similar to Daiyu, and you agree. Here, it should be our performance that appears first, and then there is a comparison with "Daiyu," which in turn makes us highly identify with the comparison.

We must consider this question: Is it just the external fragility and melancholy that make you find similarities?

2. You have tried very hard to find evidence and have found many similarities to support your view. You have answered the question we asked earlier, but you have overlooked one thing: all situations have underlying logic and influencing factors.

As a created character, Daiyu has a complete life trajectory, growth experience, and background information. These have shaped her state and ultimate outcome. So, we want to know: What emotions are behind our sensitivity?

Tell me, is there a common cause for every time you get angry? And what is the message you want to convey every time you cry?

Such a personality makes you feel a strong aversion. You have emphasized "very dislike" and are even worried that "if I am depressed every day, I may not live long." Your family has also made some negative comments about such a personality.

So, we can assume that our parents are responding to us in a different state than usual. Do we approve of it? Do we feel targeted?

We must ask ourselves: what kind of treatment do we want behind our performance? This includes throwing a fit, arguing back, and tears.

4. There are social problems, and I will find solutions. I see feelings of isolation, and I will address them.

"It's just that my family is so tolerant of me." This made me feel a strong sense of pain, which in turn made me see a strong desire to "directly implement a solution." We must be ready to change with determination and willingness, even if it means bearing the pain.

You have to do the work to change. No one can do it for you. Are you ready to do the work?

Finally, let's look at what we can do.

First, find some time and a quiet place to have a "chat" with yourself. See how you perceive yourself. Don't rush to label yourself. Trust your inner motivation for change.

If you notice some behaviors that make you uncomfortable, take a good look at whether you are in a state of strong dissatisfaction with yourself. When you are in a state of emotional overwhelm, you are unable to pay good attention to yourself, and this can even have the opposite effect.

Next, we'll explore what we can do. We will achieve our goal of getting out by a few small methods, which will make it easier.

1. Don't blame yourself, and don't force yourself. Admit it and praise yourself often.

We must recognize our own possible problems correctly and admit that we can only adopt this approach to release our emotions for now. Once we have used this approach to release our emotions, we can start keeping some records.

When we realize that we've just vented our emotions or that we're overly sensitive, it means that we want to change the situation. We can then decide whether it's something we can get rid of in a short amount of time.

When we face our problems head on and see that "getting rid of them is just a matter of time," we know we can handle it. We may even discover more good things we've done, even if they're small (even if we just notice that time is running out).

It is also important to understand that although our emotions affect those around us, we are already trying to change. We must accept our share of emotions and responsibilities, not all of them. When we force ourselves to bear everything, we develop a strong sense of guilt and a desire to control. We must face this desire to control.

If we only consider the feelings of others and think that it is our responsibility, we will attack ourselves more. We must be a little "selfish" and consider ourselves first and then others. We need to adjust our own state of mind and emotions and balance our lives and emotions.

2. Expand your social circle and your hobbies to distract yourself from this mood.

It's time to face facts. Our current situation is leading us down a monotonous path. Many things, although important, will not make up the whole of our lives. We need to step out of our inner world and fill our lives with more things. When we have this kind of thinking, it will help distract our attention from pursuing other hobbies and focus on the things around us.

Take part in more activities with friends and start engaging with social resources. The more you communicate, the more you'll have to do. When your thinking becomes more fluid, you'll be able to process things that usually touch your emotions.

If a person's social circle is too small, they will focus all their emotions and attention on one person or thing. This is how they fall into their own world. We can stop this by expanding our social circle, meeting more people, learning more hobbies and skills, slowly shifting our attention, not being overly persistent, and not giving excessive sadness a chance.

You have to take action if you want to change yourself. This process will be difficult, but you can get support from your parents and friends to help you take that first step.

3. Get yourself moving.

You should try to participate in more physical exercises. When I see you express your vulnerability, I suspect that perhaps we are more willing to stay quietly in peacetime.

However, research has proven that improving physical fitness can also improve one's mood and lead to positive and optimistic growth. Even going shopping is a great option. In short, just get moving.

4. Seek professional help.

Seek professional psychological counseling when facing these problems. A professional and systematic approach will help you find a better way to reconcile with yourself more quickly.

Life is full of challenges. When we're facing difficulties, it's crucial to seek support from those around us. Here, you'll find enthusiastic companionship and the guidance of professional listeners and counselors.

After this series of explorations, you will undoubtedly have your own answers!

I am confident that these insights will accompany you through this difficult time.

I am confident that everything will go well for you, and I wish you the best and a speedy recovery of your inner stability and peace.

The world and I love you.

Hello! From your description, I can tell you're unhappy with your character and want to change. Let me share my views!

1. How character is formed

Lin Daiyu was sickly from an early age. Her mother died young, and she was sent to live with relatives. Her crying, suspiciousness, and sensitivity were caused by a combination of physical, emotional, and real-life factors.

Think about how you've changed over time. What events or people have shaped you? (We'll ignore physical causes. If you're weak, focus on exercise and taking care of your body.) Understanding your influences helps you accept yourself. Every character has good and bad sides, and no character is useless.

2. Know what someone needs.

Lin Daiyu lived in a complex social environment. Her sensitivity and suspicion helped her to live a respectable life in the Grand View Garden.

This is based on feeling insecure and having a strong sense of self-worth.

What makes you cry? What do you really need?

If we can express our needs in a different way, we can say them out loud without crying. If we can't say them out loud, we can release our feelings by exercising, reading, or chatting with a friend.

This process requires awareness. If you need help, you can get it. It's a gradual process. Give yourself time and encouragement. You'll notice that you cry less and are less sensitive.

3. Understand yourself, accept yourself, and adjust.

We must view character dialectically. Everything has two sides. Being sensitive and suspicious can affect relationships, but sensitive people are emotionally rich and can understand others. They are creative and innovative. Lin Daiyu was observant and had a wealth of ideas. She could compose poetry on the spot and almost always came out on top.

Look at your personality, accept it, and make changes. Life has good and bad. Change is hard, but you will be better for it. Start enjoying life more, relax, and you will see!

I wish you happiness and love!