Feeling secure in sad and depressed moods. What if you like sadness too much?

It would be beneficial to provide the questioner with a supportive gesture. The question itself is not complex. Many individuals may understand the underlying truth, but may face challenges in applying it to their daily lives. They may grasp the concept at an ideological level but may find it difficult to translate it into their actions at a subconscious level.

As the questioner stated, I find solace in melancholy and despondency because I feel secure in these emotional states. I concur with the questioner that these states align with my authentic self. However, I urge the questioner to consider when these states represent my authentic self, whether it's the present or a different point in time.

If this is the case, please describe your typical emotional state. If this is not the case, please describe what your emotional state is like when you are not experiencing sadness or depression. Please also describe whether this emotional state is truly representative of your authentic self.

The body serves as the primary conduit for the subconscious mind. Emotions and feelings that cannot be articulated verbally tend to manifest in body language. The questioner's body language indicates a sense of safety and comfort in sadness and depression. This suggests a natural resistance to breaking free from this state. Conversely, there seems to be an attachment and dependency on these emotions, which could be an instinctual response driven by the subconscious self.

Conversely, breaking free can be perceived as a risky move. The individual may feel unable to cope with the pressure that comes with this state, and may therefore be reluctant to break free. In this regard, the questioner should also consider where the cognitive model comes from that links sadness and depression with feelings of safety, and whether this model is limited to these emotions, or if feelings of safety can be found in other ways.

From an objective standpoint, both the conscious self and the subconscious self represent the true self, albeit in different states at different times. It is only when these two distinct states of the self are integrated that they can be considered the complete self. Just as there are day and night in our lives, daytime is spent on activities such as learning, working, and socializing, while nighttime is dedicated to leisure and rest. Both daytime and nighttime are valid for the self at that moment and are part of real life. Only when daytime and nighttime are connected can it be considered a full day.

Hello, and thank you so much for your question! I'm Yufei, a listener at Yixin.

First of all, it's really important to recognize your feelings. Sometimes sadness can actually make us feel a sense of stability and security. We can enjoy the feeling of sadness, immerse ourselves in it, and feel comfortable and good about ourselves.

This is just my own experience and feeling, but I've heard a theory that says we don't like sadness, but we like the feeling of sadness, and we don't want to come out of it. In fact, everyone is sad sometimes, and we are no exception! When we are sad, we seem to be more calm and quiet.

So, sometimes we really enjoy this feeling!

I'd love to know if sadness affects your work, study, and life. Does it affect your mood or state?

If you think that occasional sadness is good, then there seems to be nothing wrong with it. But if you constantly dwell on sad feelings, it might be worth asking yourself if that's really what you want.

Sometimes, we just want to hide in our sadness, even though we know it's not really something we like. It's comfortable, and we're used to it.

Now, think about the feeling of happiness. Imagine being with your classmates, your colleagues, having happy chats, eating together, exercising together, traveling together, participating in an activity together, working and studying together.

I think emotions are contagious. If you are constantly immersed in sadness, it might affect your colleagues and classmates, who might feel depressed and share your sadness. Generally speaking, sad people like to be alone because they can only experience sadness when they are alone.

So, if you spend a long time alone, you might start to feel a little strange. But don't worry! We can slowly come out of sadness, switch to a different emotional channel, and let ourselves experience and enjoy happiness. This way, we can be more stable and secure.

It's totally normal to feel more sadness than happiness. We all have our own unique journey, and it's okay to feel what you feel. But, you know what? You can try to do things that make you feel fulfilled and happy.

Take a moment to think about what you can do to make yourself happier and more content. You've got this! Here are a few ideas:

I truly believe that all of these things can make you a little happier and help you to feel more content.

I just want to say that although you're comfortable and safe right now, I don't think sadness is a very good experience. It can lead to depression, and in the long run, it doesn't seem to be very good for personal psychological development. So I think you can try switching to a different emotional channel. OK, let's start doing things that make you happy and joyful from now on. I love you, and so does the world.

Hello, question asker, and good afternoon! It's so great that you can see your own problems and are working on healing them. I'm sending you lots of love and support!

You say you see yourself in a pessimistic state and feel safe. And that's okay! Behind every need there is a deeper self waiting to be seen.

This is a great chance to chat with yourself and have some fun! Why not ask yourself why you feel safe when you're in a pessimistic environment?

What does it feel like when I'm in a pessimistic mood? What do my body parts feel like? Do any of them feel uncomfortable? Do any of them feel energized? Or maybe you're reminded of a memory from a long time ago that makes you feel the same way. To analyze yourself and see yourself is to slowly let the light shine on yourself.

It's okay to feel sad. It's not you. It's sadness. And it's the same with happiness. You are not happiness. You are you. You are not your emotions.

You are love, joy, and peace.

It's okay, you weren't born pessimistic, and you weren't born liking to be pessimistic.

When you were a child, you were just learning to take those first steps. You got up and kept walking after falling over, and that's okay! It was only as you grew up that you gradually forgot about yourself, and mistakenly took other things for yourself.

Just as now, you've fallen and forgotten to get up. You're stuck in the place where you fell, thinking that this is you.

Take a deep breath and go within. Look at yourself, layer by layer, to see the real you behind the surface. The real you is love, joy, and peace.

Hello, question asker!

Thank you so much for your question! And thank you for sharing your true feelings.

When it comes to sadness, many people don't think it's a very good word to describe a person's negative emotional state. So I guess, on the one hand, you seem to think that this is not a good idea rationally and want to change this state of mind, and on the other hand, you say from the bottom of your heart, "I really like sadness too much."

When it comes to sadness, it reminds me of movies or music related to sadness. For example, "The Burier" is an incredible interlude that really gets me every time.

But when the strings of the cello sound, there is also a kind of beauty in sadness. The emotions are low and touch the softest places in the heart—it's incredible!

At this moment, I often get used to being alone and quietly letting the soothing sad tunes gently flow into my heart, so that my wandering thoughts have a place to rest. It's the perfect way to unwind!

I totally get what you're saying! I feel the same way. I feel a great sense of security in a pessimistic state, and I don't want to break out of it. I feel that the sad me is the real me, and I love it!

Absolutely! At that time, it seems to slowly merge with our true emotions, and we become immersed in them. How could anyone not like it?

But there's another side to grief. It can also indicate regrets or a sense of loss from unfinished business in the past.

The undertone is a sense of regret at the loss, which may be a past event, a person or object from the past, or a deep feeling of missing or loss. In short, when we feel sad, we are also in the process of mourning—and mourning is a natural and beautiful part of life!

So, when faced with grief, it's not about getting out of it right away. It's about embracing the feeling, exploring what it makes you think of, and expressing it freely through writing. Seeking counseling and having the opportunity for professional treatment are also great ways to move forward.

In short, people's emotions ebb and flow, rising and falling. Embrace this wonderful process of emotional change! Be aware of your own emotional changes. Don't rush to get out of it, and don't easily deny yourself.

On the contrary, when you fully express and release your emotions, you'll complete the grieving process. And you'll find that allowing your emotions to flow naturally is a beautiful journey in itself!

I'm so happy for you! Bless you for having such a rich emotional experience, and feel it to the fullest!

Even negative emotions are a treasure trove for inner growth and help us better discover the meaning behind sadness.

I really hope the above suggestions will give you some small inspiration. I really, really hope they do!

Hello, question asker!

From what you've told me, it's clear that you're a very aware and polite person.

From what you've told me, it seems like you're experiencing a bit of a conflict. On the one hand, it seems like your body and mind are in a pessimistic state, which can often feel difficult, depressing, and unhappy. But on the other hand, you feel safe in this difficult mood.

I wish I could tell you more, but it's hard to know what's going on from just a few words. It seems like you're feeling a sadness that you've had for a while. It's like you're still connected to that person you felt close to in the past, even though you've grown up and learned to take care of yourself. It's okay to feel this way, but it might be helpful to think about why you're still feeling this way.

I really wish I could give you a more accurate answer, but this is just a guess.

I'm not sure if your current state of mind has affected your life and work, social life, daily routine, diet, or physical health. If not, and you're okay with it, then he may just be a fleeting feeling that is just part of your personality.

If he's been affecting the above for more than three months, it might be time to take it seriously and see a counselor.

I really hope this helps!

Good morning, I would like to extend my sincerest sympathies to you. I understand that you have been grappling with sadness for an extended period, and I empathize with the challenges you are facing.

Let us begin by defining the primary emotion of sadness.

Let us begin by defining the primary emotion of sadness.

Sadness is one of the eight basic human emotions, and emotions similar to sadness include melancholy and grief, although they differ in intensity. Sadness can bring feelings of remorse, disappointment, and depression. It is recommended that you assess whether these emotions and moods are predominant in your daily life.

If you typically exhibit a relatively low mood index and lack of interest,

The following section will examine the underlying causes of sadness.

1. Your sadness may be a form of self-protection. You may not want to come out of your sadness, or you may be obsessed with the feeling of sadness. On the one hand, sadness may protect you from further harm from the outside world. Most people have a tendency to sympathize with the weak. Are you playing the role of a victim by presenting your sadness, so that others can see that you are weak and give you more attention, care, and sympathy?

2. Your sadness may be a way of avoiding things. If you grieve for a long time, you may also develop a self-pitying mentality and may feel that your strength is already insufficient. You can justifiably care for yourself more, without forcing yourself to face reality. Your family and friends will not bear to remind you, which allows you to avoid the pressure of survival or the need to solve urgent problems.

In conclusion, we will examine methods for confronting and managing grief.

It is typically challenging to swiftly resolve feelings of sadness, which lack a specific target or object, unlike anger, which is directed at a particular individual or situation. When we are angry, we can assertively convey our displeasure to the other person, which may help to dissipate the anger. However, sadness cannot be effectively addressed by confrontation alone.

We recommend the following methods for your consideration.

1. Grief is typically a state of powerlessness that arises following an injury. During this period, it is crucial to recognize the need to conserve energy and strength, and to prioritize recuperation and nourishment of the body and mind.

2. Mindfulness meditation can be an effective tool for improving one's ability to observe and understand their thoughts and emotions. Through this practice, individuals may come to recognize that sadness is just one of many emotions, and that it can come and go freely without needing to be held back or driven away. With consistent practice and an attitude of non-judgmental acceptance, sadness can become a common, manageable experience, allowing for change to occur without significant disruption.

3. Should you require assistance in resolving unresolved grief, we recommend consulting a professional psychologist.

4. Behavioral changes, such as limiting time spent alone in negative environments, engaging in activities that bring joy and pleasure, and surrounding yourself with positive individuals, can help to improve a sad mood.

I hope you find these suggestions helpful and that you enjoy a rich and fulfilling life.

Hello, question asker! I see that you mentioned feeling secure when immersed in sad emotions, but at the same time, you feel conflicted, thinking that you should be more optimistic. I'm wondering if you could tell me how to adjust your mindset.

You are a person with a sensitive heart, and it is not common to live in such a state of self-awareness.

I would like to respectfully explore your state of mind with you based on my personal understanding, and I hope it will be helpful to you.

First of all, it can be helpful to take some time to understand your emotional state and to feel it. It's really great to admit that you feel pessimistic and sad! It's not a bad thing to feel sad, but instead of being swallowed up by it, you could consider consciously reminding yourself that you need to bring up some optimism.

This shows that you have feelings and the ability to reflect, as well as a certain ability to self-regulate and motivation. I would like to congratulate you on these positive attributes. Although you are confused and doubtful about your emotional state, your ability to feel and reflect has created the necessary prerequisites for your good mental health and emotions.

Secondly, I believe that when we are in a sad mood, our emotional state can sometimes act as an interpersonal mask, indicating to others that we are vulnerable. This may result in others interfering less with us or causing us to instinctively seek solitude. This can create a relatively simple and private space conducive to self-quietness and solitude, which can feel very safe.

It may be helpful to consider that the fundamental cause of this sense of security is social avoidance. If we are interested in transforming a state of pessimism and sadness, it could be beneficial to examine our social situation and consider who or what we are consciously or unconsciously avoiding.

If selective avoidance leads us to immerse ourselves in sad words, it could be considered a kind of self-defense mechanism. In a sense, it could be seen as a way of satisfying personal psychological space needs. It has a positive meaning, and there is no need to reverse it.

I would gently encourage you to be self-aware.

Since you also mentioned a sense of security, I wonder if it might be helpful for you to take a moment to reflect on how you define your sense of security. Do you feel that if you adopt the most pessimistic attitude towards something, the outcome cannot possibly get any worse, and that is a sense of security?

Or could it be that having the most pessimistic expectations for something actually leads to a "death before life" situation, with the result being much better than expected and giving you a greater sense of security?

Could I ask where the sense of security you refer to comes from? Is it perhaps your own feelings and attitude, or is it because of your attitude that others treat you with a sense of security?

Please don't take the above questions as a challenge. I hope you don't feel attacked.

I hope to provide a way of thinking that allows introspection and exploration of oneself, so that you can gain a clearer understanding of the source of your emotional patterns.

It might be helpful to record the reasons for your sadness or pessimistic state, the length of time, and whether it has affected your daily life. Given your question, it seems that you still hope to have optimistic and positive emotional states.

Perhaps you could consider choosing some scenarios and people that can inspire a positive and optimistic state of mind? Being inspired is also an effective way to gain positive experiences. In this process, you might find it helpful to seek out people (groups) or things (such as participating in activities, watching funny variety shows, participating in funny entertainment projects, etc.) as long as you do it voluntarily. This could significantly promote the experience of positive emotions and strengthen the sense of happiness of positive emotions.

You may find it helpful to consider ways of thinking and acting that could help you to achieve your goals. Why not give it a try?

If you feel it would be helpful, you might consider seeking professional counseling.

I hope this is helpful to you.

Hello, dear! I'm Bai Ma Yuzhu, a One Mind listening therapist, and I'm thrilled to answer your questions here.

I can see that you feel like you like to be sad, and at the same time feel that the sad you is the real you. You even know how to be optimistic, but you don't want to break away from it. Hmm, I can understand your inner struggle and confusion, trying to find a direction and an outlet. But I'm here to help!

I'm excited to help you! I'm guessing that you want to escape because the information provided is relatively limited. I'm also guessing that you know how to be optimistic, but you still want to escape. I think that living without indulging in sadness is a life you are currently unable to bear. It could also be interpersonal stress.

It could be that you're suppressing your emotions. Or perhaps you have a little bit of guilt about not knowing how to live a happy life?

Or perhaps it's just that you feel closest to your true self when you're sad? If it's the former, I think any problem can be solved! Please feel free to PM me and let's explore ways to solve it together. If it's the latter, and you feel closest to your true self when you're sad, I think you probably haven't really paid attention to your inner self for a long time, so that only when an extreme emotion like sadness arises can you let go of everything and experience this sadness with peace of mind.

There's another possibility! You may have some emotional colds, and we need to pay attention to this. How long has this situation lasted, and are there any other situations that have occurred at the same time? If the depressed mood continues for a long time and affects normal life, you may have to take some other measures. So because the information you provided is not complete, I can only make some judgments based on limited information in a responsible manner. I still hope that if you have any ideas, don't keep them to yourself. The function of the human brain is only to think by itself, which may be limited. Find some trustworthy people, pour out your heart, analyze it together, and you may suddenly see the light! Okay, if you need anything, I'm always here, feel free to private message me. I wish you happiness and joy!

Perhaps you don't particularly enjoy feeling sad, but you recognise that it provides a way of temporarily escaping from your current situation and feeling less alone.

You are aware that sadness is not beneficial. You recognize that it may result in a loss of pleasure, negative judgments from others, a reduction in your sense of personal existence, and occasionally, feelings of unworthiness. Consequently, you are motivated to make a change and embrace a more optimistic and positive outlook.

The reasons for this are complex and, as a result, it is challenging to make any definitive speculations.

In the original family, the parents did not have a particularly harmonious relationship. There was a tendency for one to exert more influence than the other, or for one to be relatively less assertive. Overall, there was a lack of equality and respect. In social relationships, they may also have been in a strong or weak position, which could have influenced you.

In such an environment, individuals may experience feelings of insecurity, a lack of support, trust, freedom, or a sense of self.

2. In the process of personal growth, individuals may find themselves in situations where they feel isolated, uncertain about integrating into a group, and may perceive themselves as outsiders, leading to a cautious approach.

3. Some special experiences, such as suffering an accident, or feeling or seeing an accident happen, or the loss of someone important to them, have the potential to cause anxiety/am-i-traumatized-because-im-overly-anxious-about-what-i-say-to-myself-8729.html" target="_blank">trauma and make it challenging to adapt to a new environment. What is more concerning is that in this kind of avoidance behavior, one may initially find pleasure in avoiding pain, but in the long run, this approach may not be sustainable.

4. The individual may lack confidence, which could be the result of personal experience and personal perception. This may force them to persist in an environment they dislike and are unstable for a long period of time, such as the work environment and family environment.

5. It is possible that the impact of anxiety and illness, such as somatoform disorders, anxiety disorders, obsessive-compulsive disorder, PTSD, etc., as well as the impact of organic problems, may result in a fear of disrupting the existing balance and potentially returning oneself to the pain of the past.

6. It can be challenging to identify the root cause or origin of long-term habits. It's not uncommon to be accustomed to solitude, to rely on the internet or personal space, and to be concerned about potential harm. This can sometimes lead to a tendency to avoid reality and the sadness that comes with it.

7. Personality factors: There may be a tendency to avoid facing the future, the unknown, or uncontrollable factors. This could result in a preference for maintaining the status quo, or a desire to maintain the status quo.

It's not that you can't feel happy, but perhaps you're holding back a bit and not allowing yourself to fully embrace joy.

For whatever reason, radical solutions may not be the most suitable at this time. You may wish to consider investing as much time, space, and energy as you have already dedicated to redeeming yourself.

It might also be the case that this is simply a period of confusion. If that is the case, then perhaps you could do what you like, such as reading, listening to music, and so on, to help relieve the stress.

If I might make one final point,

In the following period, it would be beneficial to take some time to reflect on your own assets, your own objective reality, your own value, and your own goals.

If you're looking to be happy, it might be helpful to identify what brings you joy. For instance, spending more time with your family, being outdoors more, or developing good habits could be worthwhile pursuits.

It would be beneficial to maintain emotional stability. It is important to find a balance between sadness and excitement, and to embrace a sense of calm.

After approximately a week, you may wish to consider removing some of the more light-hearted content, such as stand-up comedy and sketches.

It would be wise to allow yourself to grieve in a healthy way as you gradually adapt to your new circumstances.

I believe the most important thing is to have a clear understanding of what needs to be done, to set specific and achievable goals, and to break them down into smaller, more manageable steps. Once these steps are in place, it is then possible to implement them.

Hello, I'm reaching out to you as the questioner.

From what you've said, it seems like you should try to think more positively, but you always gravitate towards pessimistic thoughts. It's clear you want to move on from this mindset, and I can relate to your feelings.

Why does the person asking the question keep putting themselves in a situation where they feel so sad?

My take on it is this:

We may gravitate towards sad emotions because they offer a sense of security. When we're in a sad environment, it makes us feel protected from the outside world. When we want to be happy, we may feel threatened.

It's true that some people just like sad and depressing things. When we say that we are immersed in something, it means that we don't want to get away from it or walk away from it. We allow ourselves to be in this kind of environment because it gives us a sense of security and stability. It's normal that we don't want to give it up.

I can see that you can perceive this situation of being overly pessimistic. In fact, I was also a pessimist in the past. Later, with the help of psychology, I also understood that being overly pessimistic would cause many problems in my emotions and psychology, as well as in our physical and mental health. So if we don't want to be pessimistic, we need to psychologically break away from this safe environment. Perhaps you can also take a look at why you like to be sad, and why we never want to leave. These feelings and thoughts about yourself can be perceived and seen from within our hearts.

Of course, we can also seek out a counselor. They can help us understand our current feelings and state, and why we feel and think the way we do. If we want to be happy and not be pessimistic anymore, we need to first accept our pessimistic state. We shouldn't force ourselves to change. We need to learn to let go and save ourselves. We need to understand what exactly is the source of our sadness, and find the cause. That way, we can better improve our current state.

I hope this helps.

Good day, host. I hope my response is of some assistance to you.

The host stated that he is capable of identifying and resolving many issues independently. Additionally, he appears to possess an optimistic outlook. However, at the physical level, there is still an inclination to avoid and adopt a pessimistic stance. There is a perceived sense of security in this pessimistic state, and there is a reluctance to deviate from it. There is also a perception that the sad self is the authentic self. However, there is a desire to alter this mindset and move away from a state of constant sadness.

After carefully reviewing your description, I understand that you want to be optimistic on a conscious level, but your subconscious still responds with sadness. To change your subconscious response and rebuild your pattern, we must access the subconscious and connect with our bodies to alter the deep-seated beliefs. Only then will you be able to truly solve this problem.

I would like to offer you the following advice:

1. It would be beneficial to reflect on your personal growth journey to identify the underlying reasons behind your tendency to feel secure in a sad state. This process can facilitate a deeper understanding of your own psychology.

In fact, I previously exhibited a tendency towards pessimism and a proclivity for seeking security through sadness. This was because sadness offered significant benefits. At the time, I was described as a "faucet," particularly prone to emotional outbursts and tears in public. I was comfortable with this perception. Upon departing, I would often shed tears. At the time, I held the belief that sadness would elicit care, support, and concern from others.

The origin of this belief is unclear. It may have originated during my early years. I observed that when I exhibited intense distress and a pronounced sadness, my parents would respond with increased attention, care, and support. This led me to develop a pattern whereby I could elicit greater care and attention from others by displaying sadness.

It can be seen that each of us has behavioural patterns from childhood that have become fixed unconsciously. At the time, these patterns were beneficial, but now that we are adults, we are no longer the children we once were. We can express sadness when we encounter sad things, and we also need people to take care of and care about us. However, if this is excessive, it can affect other aspects of our lives. It is important to recognise that there are still many positive aspects to life.

It is therefore necessary to implement new protective measures to achieve a more balanced emotional state.

2. Mindfulness meditation can be used to gain access to the subconscious and rewrite negative beliefs.

It is possible that what we say we understand may not necessarily be true, because what we understand stays at the conscious level. In order to gain a deeper understanding, it is necessary to find a way to connect with our subconscious. Mindful meditation is the simplest and most scientific way to reach the subconscious.

You may choose to meditate with the help of relevant audio, or you can simply meditate for 10-15 minutes every day at a fixed time. Find a quiet environment and a space where you won't be disturbed. Follow the audio and you will gradually enter a meditative state. When meditating, we enter our subconscious mind. At this time, you must focus your energy on the content of the audio, eliminate distractions, and connect with your subconscious mind and body in a relaxed state. Then, gradually rewrite your beliefs and "implant" new beliefs into our consciousness.

As an alternative, if you do not have access to an audio guide, you can record one yourself. This should be a personalised recording, with you speaking to yourself. The content should be positive and encouraging. For example, you could say something like, "I can be an optimistic person. When I'm happy and optimistic, I will still receive the care and attention of others. When I'm optimistic, I'm also safe..."

When you adopt a positive attitude during meditation, your beliefs will gradually become less rigid, allowing you to embrace a "brand new self."

3. Balancing the body is also an effective method for regulating emotions.

For example, you can practice yoga. People who practice yoga regularly have been shown to be able to calm themselves down quickly and effectively, probably because they combine physical movement with slow breathing. Yoga has also been shown to reduce the level of pro-inflammatory cytokines, which are proteins that can cause harmful inflammation in the body.

For example, adherence to an aerobic exercise regimen can result in the secretion of dopamine and endorphins, which are associated with feelings of joy and happiness. This positive emotional state is intrinsic and contributes to feelings of relaxation and contentment. Regular exercise can facilitate a gradual shift in patterns, leading to enhanced happiness and reduced depressive symptoms.

For instance, you can increase your exposure to green plants and natural light, allowing your body to receive more sunlight. This can naturally improve your mood and promote better blood circulation, as well as the secretion of adrenaline, thyroxine, and sex hormones. This can effectively improve your depressed state.

I hope the above is helpful. Best regards,