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Feeling so pitiful and worthless, why am I even alive?

orphan grandmother mentally ill mom autistic dad powerlessness
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Feeling so pitiful and worthless, why am I even alive? By Anonymous | Published on December 18, 2024

I'm an orphan, right? I grew up with only my grandmother. They're dying soon, right? Mom and Dad are just a burden to me, right? My mentally ill mom feels like my autistic dad is so useless. I'm so powerless. My grandmother is so old. I'm only 18, and he's already 80. I'm so pitiful, powerless, useless, and annoying.

Stella Fernandez Stella Fernandez A total of 7751 people have been helped

I give you a hug, my dear!

I can see that you are very sad, troubled, and fearful. But don't worry! Happy families are all the same, but unhappy families have all kinds of misfortunes. My biological family was not happy either. My parents had a bad relationship from when I was a child, and I was brought up by my grandparents. My grandmother passed away when I was seven.

My mother was very pessimistic because she and my father did not get along well, so I was also very negative and pessimistic, very self-deprecating, and had few friends. But I did very well in school, not because I was very smart, but because while others were playing, I was reading books and doing exercise books. So I became one of the few children in the village who went to university, and I got to know many warm, kind, and capable classmates, including my current husband.

Now that I've studied psychology, I've come to realize that the world is inherently unfair. I was born into an unhappy family, but the world is also fair. If I work hard and treat others well, I will eventually reap the rewards of happiness! The significance of psychology is that it allows us to acknowledge the past and let go of it. Maybe your parents didn't want to treat you this way; they just didn't have the ability to do otherwise. But you can change that!

You're now 18 years old, which means you have the amazing opportunity to make some big changes! You can care for your grandmother, study hard, love and help others, make close friends, and most importantly, love yourself and believe that you can do it. This is the foundation for you to change everything, and you will definitely reap the happiness of the future!

The world and I love you!

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Madeleine Miller Madeleine Miller A total of 2362 people have been helped

First of all, I want to give you a hug!

From what you've told me, it seems like your parents didn't give you much warmth or fulfill their parental responsibilities. Your mother's mental illness and your father's autism and cowardice have made you feel angry and powerless.

From your first sentence, you said you were an orphan, and it seems like you grew up in a family like this, as if you grew up without parents. This is not easy!

In such a family, the parents might not be able to understand or communicate well. If they're a burden to you, they might rely on you for things, which could affect your original state of life and work.

Maybe the way they act has made people around you prejudiced and made them tease you!

It's not your fault!

You had no choice about being born! You are not useless!

You can say that your grandmother raised you, and I think you must have a close relationship with her. You must also care a lot about your grandmother, right?

You've had a tough upbringing, but you've grown up to be 18 years old and have experienced a lot more than your peers. The difficulties you've faced have also been far greater. So for being able to cope with everything you've been through and keep going until now, you're doing really well!

I think you have a lot of unique qualities. Try to find some way to calm yourself and look at the good things you have experienced. You are definitely not worthless!

From what you said in your message, I get the impression that your parents are pretty upset with you. But I also get the feeling that you're a kind person who's facing some challenges head-on and trying to find solutions. Is that right?

Based on what I know about your experience, I really want to encourage you. I'm not sure if what I said above has encouraged you!

Don't sell yourself short and throw in the towel!

God closes a door for you, but he always opens a window!

Give it a try. You have some great qualities that will serve you well.

I'm Gong Jianfen, your counselor. I hope you can feel the love and beauty that the world brings you!

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Eliza King Eliza King A total of 5473 people have been helped

Hello, Thread Starter.

From your description, it's clear you're disappointed with your family environment and feel powerless. You feel worthless and lack self-confidence. I understand how you feel and your feelings of despair.

You think your parents are a burden and wish they would go away, but the truth is that we came into this world thanks to our parents. We need to feel that we are also independent individuals. You may think your parents did not give you a good family environment or a good environment in which to grow up, but you can create a better environment for yourself in the future.

We can change the life we want to lead and the kind of person we want to be, even if we cannot change the environment of our original family.

Here's the solution:

[1] Accept your family of origin.

Facing such an environment, we must accept this original family. We did not choose where we were born, and we must accept having such a family. We cannot change the environment of our original family, but we can change ourselves and accept this environment. We must be brave and strong.

[2] Take responsibility for yourself.

Everyone's growth is independent. We must take responsibility for ourselves, recognize the part of ourselves that we can change, and understand the meaning of growth. We cannot control or change others, so we can control and change ourselves. Learning to grow and become independent is a process we must go through.

[3] Learn to care for yourself.

Self-care is essential for our well-being. It's about accepting ourselves and having the capacity to love ourselves. When we care for ourselves, we open ourselves up to new possibilities, learn to love ourselves fully, and become better at loving ourselves. Growth is a positive force in our lives.

[4] If you have the means, seek professional help.

If you can afford it, seek professional help and take your parents to see a doctor. We must learn to love ourselves. We have no right to interfere in other people's lives, but we are responsible for ourselves. If we have problems that we cannot solve ourselves, we can also seek professional help. Seeking a counselor is also a good way to heal our inner wounds and heal our inner selves.

I am confident that the above advice will be helpful.

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Comments

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Odin Jackson You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.

Life has been tough on me, growing up with just my grandmother. Facing the reality of losing her soon is incredibly hard. My parents have never really been there for me, especially with all their own issues. It's like I've had to grow up too fast, handling everything alone at such a young age.

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Octavia Gray If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

It's heartbreaking to feel this way at 18, watching my grandmother's health decline while dealing with parents who add more stress than support. Sometimes it feels like I'm carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders, and I don't know how much longer I can keep going.

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Roberto Anderson Truth is stranger than fiction.

I feel so overwhelmed, knowing that my grandmother won't be around forever and that my parents can't provide the help or stability I need. At this age, I shouldn't feel this burdened, but here I am, trying to figure out how to move forward.

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Dylan Davis The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time.

Every day feels like a struggle, especially when my grandmother is getting older and my parents' conditions make it difficult for them to contribute positively to our lives. I wish I could change things, but right now, it feels like there's no way out of this situation.

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Pamela Thomas Forgiveness is a light that shines through the darkness of anger.

Feeling powerless and unsupported at 18 is overwhelming, especially with my grandmother's age and my parents' inability to assist. It's a heavy load to bear, and I often wonder how I'll manage once she's gone, given the circumstances with my parents.

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