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Feeling uncomfortable seeing the former's exceptional favor towards the current one; is there something wrong with my psychology?

mental imbalance breakup attachment possessiveness relationship issues
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Feeling uncomfortable seeing the former's exceptional favor towards the current one; is there something wrong with my psychology? By Anonymous | Published on December 18, 2024

Am I mentally unbalanced? It's been four years since my ex-boyfriend initiated the breakup with our last relationship. After breaking up with him, two years later, I also had a partner, but we split up after a year. Now, I find out that he has a new girlfriend, and he treats her very well, often taking her on trips and throwing lavish birthday parties, which I never experienced during our relationship. Seeing these scenes makes me feel extremely uncomfortable. Is it because my attachment is too deep or my possessiveness too strong? Have I really become mentally unstable?

Daniel Russell Daniel Russell A total of 2448 people have been helped

Hello, my dear friend. I can imagine how you must be feeling right now. It's totally normal to feel a bit uncomfortable when you see that your ex-boyfriend treats his current girlfriend really well. It's not necessarily a sign that there's anything wrong with you.

It's totally normal to feel a broken heart after a breakup. If it was your partner who ended it, it's probably best to accept it and move on. It's okay to feel a bit resentful or regretful, but try not to dwell on it too much.

Later on, the relationship ended in another breakup, which was really tough for you. It's totally normal to feel frustrated and lost in relationships. It can even affect our sense of self-worth, but it's important to remember that this is just a feeling and it doesn't reflect the real value of who you are. When you see that the other person seems to have completely let go of the past and shows special attention and consideration to another person, it can trigger a sense of frustration. This might not necessarily mean that you still have feelings for him, but it could be that your relationship with yourself has been disturbed by external stimuli.

It's totally normal to feel a bit betrayed when you see someone you care about moving on to a new relationship. It's a natural reaction to feel a little suspicious and sad when you realise that they didn't treat you the same way in the past.

It's natural to feel attached to someone in an intimate relationship. We also invest a part of ourselves in the relationship, including our sense of self-worth and identity. So, it's only natural to hope that the feelings we've given to someone in the past will be equally cherished even after a breakup. If we're unsure about this, we might feel a sense of loss and doubt about our worthiness of being loved and cherished.

It's also important to remember that sometimes, the end of a relationship is because the two people involved have grown apart. This doesn't mean that the feelings and efforts you once had for each other are gone forever. It just means that you've both moved on in different directions. The experiences you've had in your intimate relationships are part of your personal growth journey. They've helped you become the person you are today and will continue to help you find the right people and relationships for you in the future.

If you're feeling a bit troubled, why not try saying a little ritual goodbye to the past? You could write a letter to your ex that you won't send, and put your thoughts in it. Then, just cut off your attention to his developments and focus on building your own life.

Making yourself a better person is a lifelong task, and it is also a responsibility and love for yourself. This also includes being kind to yourself and accepting your true feelings.

And finally, I'd love for you to picture what you'd say to your best girlfriend if she were to go through the same thing.

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Oliver Knight Oliver Knight A total of 6736 people have been helped

It is normal to experience feelings of distress and insecurity when you perceive that your former partner is treating your new partner more favourably than you were treated in your previous relationship. This does not indicate the presence of a psychological problem, but rather that you are still processing the emotions associated with the end of your relationship with your former partner. The feelings you experience in this situation can be attributed to a range of psychological factors:

Even if a considerable amount of time has elapsed since the dissolution of the relationship, the sight of the former partner in a new relationship may evoke a range of unresolved emotions, including sadness, regret, or jealousy.

Self-comparison: People often compare themselves to others, especially in emotionally charged relationships. Seeing how well your former partner is doing with their current partner may make you unconsciously compare yourself and feel that you are not performing at the same level or regret why you were not treated the same way in your relationship.

Obsession and letting go: A persistent focus on a past relationship may indicate that the individual has not yet fully moved on. The process of letting go is not merely a physical separation, but also an emotional one.

The following tips are provided for dealing with these feelings:

It is important to focus on personal growth and development. This is an ideal time to pursue new interests, learn new skills, and strengthen relationships with friends and family.

Avoid unnecessary information. If feasible, refrain from following your former colleague's social media accounts or seeking information about their personal lives through other channels. This can help mitigate unnecessary psychological stress.

It is important to find healthy ways to express and deal with your emotions. This could include keeping a diary, drawing, or talking about your feelings with a trusted friend or family member.

Should you find it challenging to cope with these emotions or if they are negatively impacting your daily life, it would be advisable to seek the guidance of a qualified counselor.

It is important to remember that everyone has their own pace when it comes to emotional recovery. It is essential to allow yourself sufficient time and space to heal, while acknowledging that every experience is part of the growth process that can make you stronger and more mature.

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Comments

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Whitney Miller The essence of growth is to use our mistakes as stepping - stones to something greater.

I can understand why you're feeling this way. It's not about being mentally unbalanced; it's just hard to see someone you once loved move on and be happy with someone else. The past can sometimes feel like it's holding on to you, especially when you compare what you had to what they have now.

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Electra Knight Teachers should be treated like gold, for they are the miners of minds.

It's natural to feel a bit envious or sad when you see your ex with someone new, especially if it seems like he's doing things that he didn't do while you were together. It doesn't mean you're possessive or unstable, just that you're human and you're processing your emotions.

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Leah Ross A truthful person is a lighthouse in a sea of deception.

Maybe it's time to focus on yourself and what you want in a relationship. Comparing your past to his present isn't going to help you heal. Try to channel those feelings into something positive, like setting goals for what you want in the future.

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Natalie Price Honesty is the cornerstone of a solid community.

Feeling uncomfortable seeing an ex move on is a common experience. It's not a sign of mental instability but rather a reflection of how much you cared about him and the relationship. It's okay to acknowledge these feelings, but also try to work on accepting that people grow and change over time.

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Jonas Miller A person of great learning is a bridge that connects different islands of knowledge.

Sometimes we get caught up in the idea of what could have been instead of focusing on what is. It's important to recognize that everyone's journey is different, and just because he's found happiness now doesn't mean it wasn't possible for you both at the time. Give yourself space to grieve and then look forward to what's next for you.

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