Feeling unworthy when praised by others?

Hello! I'd like to extend a warm hug from afar to you.

I'm pleased to see that you've sought assistance, and I hope that my input can provide some support and guidance. I also want to commend you for your ability to genuinely accept the genuine affirmation, praise, and recognition of others, for your awareness of this, and for your decision to seek help here.

It might be helpful to consider that this could reflect a lack of confidence, low self-worth, and a sense of unworthiness. It's often the case that how a person is treated determines how they treat themselves.

It can be challenging to accept compliments from others with an open mind, especially if you don't feel you've received enough affirmation and encouragement from important people in your life during your growth. It's important to remember that you are already good enough. However, when what you do doesn't meet their expectations, it can lead to feelings of being ignored, disregarded, and even receiving more negative feedback, dislike, harsh criticism, and dissatisfaction. These experiences can plant the seeds of inferiority, lack of confidence, unworthiness, and low self-esteem in your young heart. This is why it's crucial to understand that the negative feedback, dislike, harsh criticism, and dissatisfaction from important people in your life don't necessarily mean that you are not good enough or not outstanding enough.

If this aspect of your growth trauma is not fully acknowledged and addressed, it can have an impact on your interpersonal relationships. You may find it challenging to accept others' affirmation, praise, encouragement, appreciation, and recognition in your interactions with them, as a result of feeling that you are not good enough and that you don't deserve to be treated this way.

If you have become aware of this part of yourself today and are willing to make changes, you might consider trying to improve your sense of worthiness and value, and learning to better accept yourself. This could be done guided by this awareness and through your own active learning and growth.

It is possible to identify areas for improvement, while also acknowledging the many positive qualities you possess. Before going to bed each night, consider writing a list of one thing you did that made you and those around you happy. On a piece of paper, list at least ten of your own strengths, and for each strength, describe a specific action you have taken.

You may find that you are not as flawed as you believe, and that you are actually quite capable.

You may find it helpful to read "Embrace Your Imperfect Self."

My name is Lily, and I'm the little ear of the Q&A Museum. I just wanted to say that the world and I love you.

Hello! I really hope my answer can help you a little.

I totally get it! This has to do with our upbringing. Our parents always taught us to be humble, or they rarely praised us as we were growing up, because they were afraid that we would become proud and complacent and stop making progress. So they always criticized us to motivate us to improve. This made us feel unworthy when we received praise from others, because deep down we didn't feel good enough. But it's time to enhance our self-worth and gain self-acceptance!

I've got some great advice for you!

1. You can absolutely improve your sense of inner self-worth through the following exercise!

Embrace the journey of change! It takes time and practice, but you can do it! Repeat these five sentences to boost your self-worth:

First sentence: I see you! When someone is seen, they feel a sense of existence.

And the little child within you also wants to be seen! You want to be seen in all your efforts, your dedication, your struggles, your emotions... We all want to be seen by others, but if we don't see ourselves, who will? So, let's see ourselves!

Second sentence: You are valuable! Everyone needs to be affirmed, and being affirmed makes you feel valuable!

The great news is that we don't have to wait for others to affirm us. We can give ourselves some affirmation every day, telling ourselves what we have done well. And the even better news is that when we do this, our self-worth will continue to grow!

Third sentence: You are unique! We're all imperfect, but we're all special in our own way. There are more than 7 billion people in the world, but there's only one you! So, celebrate your uniqueness!

You are amazing! You have your own incredible characteristics and are one-of-a-kind. You may not be the smartest or the most beautiful, but you have your own special qualities and will always be the only one in the world.

Fourth sentence: You have made a contribution! Your presence can contribute to the company, family, and friends, and their lives have become better because of you.

Do these small things, and you'll feel the incredible feedback that you can contribute to the people you love and value. And when you experience this feeling, your self-worth will already be improving!

The fifth sentence: You belong here, and we need you here! Just as an airplane cannot fly without a single part, you are an essential part of this team.

So, even if we are a screw, we are still valuable! In a company, whether it's the cleaning lady or the CEO who is in charge of the overall operation, they are all essential to the company and to the organization. Everyone has their own unique value!

So, remember that no matter how limited your abilities may be or how lowly your status, you are still needed by your company, your family, your organization, and your group! You belong to your company, your family, and your team.

It is highly recommended that you say these five sentences to yourself often, as if there is a child inside you. This will undoubtedly help you to improve your sense of self-worth! If you want to get better results, you can print out these five sentences, hang them on the wall, and turn them into a room decoration. This is also a kind of positive suggestion!

2. Encourage yourself often and gain self-recognition!

For example, when you are feeling a little tired after a busy day, you can sit down for a while, think about what you have done today, and then say to yourself, "I've done a lot today! I took the children to school, cleaned the house, learned a lot, and conscientiously completed my work tasks... I'm really happy, and I praise myself."

When we learn to encourage ourselves, recognize our own efforts, and appreciate our own value, our sense of self-identity will skyrocket!

Often, we don't encourage and affirm ourselves in this way, but we can! We can choose to recognize and celebrate our own worth. At this time, if we still insist on relying on others to affirm us, and depend on external feedback to build our self-confidence, we can choose to build a more stable foundation. And, as you said, when our inner self inherently has a low sense of worth and a sense of unworthiness, we can choose to shift our perspective and receive the affirmation and appreciation given by others.

So, let's look within! Don't rely on external evaluations (especially negative ones) to measure ourselves. Instead, encourage ourselves often to see our own merits, affirm our own value, and gain inner confidence!

I highly recommend you read "Self-Identity," "The Miracle of Self-Affirmation," and "Rebuilding Your Life." You can also absorb the knowledge in the books and internalize it as part of yourself, becoming a person who recognizes yourself and has a high sense of self-worth!

I hope this is helpful for you! Wishing you the best!