He was always sarcastic. Why do I feel like my father hates me?

Hello. I can see that your father speaks to you in a very bad manner. He's always sarcastic and makes you doubt yourself, feel sad, think that your father doesn't love you, and even hate you. I can understand your feelings.

From what happened with the pimple, I get the feeling that your father is more concerned about your lack of understanding than his lack of attention.

You have acne on your face and you don't know how to get rid of it. You think using toothpaste to cover it up will make you feel more comfortable.

But what the father sees and thinks is: Why is my child's face like this? She's been playing with fire because her face is burned and scalded, so she probably played with fire.

You said you didn't, and that it would feel better if you put toothpaste on your face because it was uncomfortable. Your father left, but you could hear him cursing and saying, "I'll wait for you to play with yourself."

Your father's words may have seemed harsh, and they did affect you deeply because it seemed from his reaction that he was convinced you were "playing around" and not doing the right thing.

But is there any resentment towards your mother, and a sense of helplessness in maintaining the marriage?

There's a term in psychology called projection. Simply put, it means that a person is like what they see in others, and how they act towards others reflects what's going on inside.

If you're kind and love yourself, you'll feel that everyone around you is kind and friendly, and you'll be friendly and kind to others.

If someone is angry and unhappy with themselves, they'll often think that everyone else is bad, annoying, stupid, and irritating. This can lead to them speaking harshly and cynically to others.

If your father is always sarcastic with you, it's because you're his daughter, the continuation of his life and your mother's too. If he treats you badly, it's because he's got a lot of hatred in his heart, as well as a lot of dissatisfaction with himself and your mother, and dissatisfaction with his current situation in life.

I'm not trying to make you understand or forgive my father, but I think it's important to show you that what he's doing might be hurting you without him realizing it. It's also important to express your thoughts and feelings.

I see you've mentioned "si" three times. It seems like your father wishes you would die, play, or choke. It seems like he's mean to you, hates you, and doesn't love you.

You can communicate with your father using the methods of non-violent communication.

First, be honest about what you've seen.

Next, share your thoughts and feelings.

Once more, let me know what you need.

Finally, make your request.

For instance, you could say, "Dad, I see that you always tease me and say things that make me wish I were dead."

"I feel like you don't love me and you hate me. I think you really want me to die. Your words hurt me a lot, and I'm always sad because I feel like you don't love me and you don't love your daughter."

"I'm sad because I want to be loved. I love you both, and I also hope that you, Dad, can love me."

"Dad, please don't be sarcastic with me and say that I should just shut up when I want you to see my needs and be nicer to me."

The above is just an example, and you can practice expressing it according to your own situation. You can also read Marshall's book, Nonviolent Communication, which is very effective for communication in intimate relationships and other relationships.

I hope you can resolve your issues soon, and I wish you the best.

Hello, dear question asker!

Hello, my name is Sunny Dolphin Floaty, and I'm a counselor.

Hello there! I'm Sunny Dolphin Floaty, your friendly counselor. I'm just wondering when your parents got divorced. Are you a boy or a girl?

From your love of beauty, I'm guessing you're a girl, right? Does your mom often check in on you?

For little things like getting pimples, have you ever asked your mom for help?

?‍♂️ In fact, your father's behavior is really commendable. It's so great to see how much he cares about you!

But he doesn't express his concern. From the father's behavior,

It seems like you should be a boy! How could you think of playing with fire?

Oh, my! In Dad's mind, only burns and scalds should be treated with toothpaste to reduce inflammation.

?‍♂️So when Dad saw the toothpaste on your face, he probably thought you had burned your face playing with a lighter. It's understandable! In Dad's mind, toothpaste is not used to treat acne.

I'm sure that's why he said that! I bet he was just worried that you were harming yourself by putting toothpaste on your pimples.

I can see how your father might feel anxious and angry when he sees you acting like this.

I hope you understand this explanation!

?‍♂️ In medical terms, the acne on your face may be caused by mites. Don't worry, there is actually a very simple way to get rid of them!

Then, wash your face with sulfur soap or a medicated soap.

But the medicated soap smells pretty bad, so I'd suggest switching to a sulfur soap instead. And it's only when your skin is oily that you get acne.

It's so important to pay attention to what you eat. I know it can be tricky, but try to eat less greasy food.

I really hope my advice is useful to you!

?‍♂️ In fact, from the way your father treats you, you can see that he is still a child at heart. It's totally normal to feel like you get along with your dad as well as you would with someone your own age.

All kinds of petty things are made fun of.

Do you know why your parents divorced? I'm so sorry to ask you this, but was it because your mother wanted to find someone to rely on when she got married?

And after marriage, I feel like my father is a child who never grew up. I wonder if that makes my mother feel like she has no support?

?‍♂️If that's the case, then it's probably because your dad is still growing up himself.

They just can't seem to handle the little things in life. It's not that they're bad people, it's just that they've grown up and met the social requirements, and they can have a job and earn money.

This is just one of those things that sets fathers and children apart. It's what some folks call psychological immaturity.

It's really tough for you, kid. He just can't handle relationships or the little things in life very well.

?‍♂️ Give yourself a little pat on the shoulder to comfort yourself. I'm sorry to say that my child's father is just like your father.

He's still a bit of a child, bless him.

It's often said that daughters are closest to their fathers. But in my family, my daughter and I are like two estranged friends.

Even when doing the dishes, they can get into a heated argument. Oh, bless their hearts!

It's totally understandable that the father and daughter don't want to.

It's so important to share the housework, especially since we all form families.

For this family, it doesn't matter if you're an adult or not, you're all responsible for each other. He only has a home with you and dad.

Because men and women are different, women are often better at taking care of the little things in the family.

But it would be great if the husband could do this together with the other family members!

?‍♂️ But in the husband's perception, these things are naturally the wife's business and have nothing to do with him.

It's so interesting how different we all are! One thing I've noticed is that women really value their homes.

It's so sad when couples divorce. It's often because men only want to enjoy the warmth of the family but are unwilling to take on the responsibilities of the family.

And initially, women are willing to communicate. But, sadly, after communication is fruitless, it can lead to the breakdown of the marriage.

It's so sad when a marriage breaks up. Apart from the children, it hurts the person themselves too.

And your father may be a male chauvinist. It can be so hard when people aren't willing to change or communicate.

I really think you should consult your mother more often. It might just change your life!

I guess he's not ready to change, sweetheart.

I really hope everything is going well for you, and I love you so much!

Good morning, I hope this message finds you well. I am writing to inquire about the product in question. I believe it is called "strawberry." Is that correct? Thank you in advance for your assistance. Sincerely, [Your name]

In light of the young questioner's disclosures and evident distress, I am compelled to extend a gesture of empathy and support. Despite the parents' decision to separate, it is crucial to assess whether they truly considered the questioner's perspectives during the arrangement.

From the description, the questioner's mother displays a high level of self-esteem, while her father exhibits a lack of warmth and a tendency to be critical, including occasional criticism of the questioner. This dynamic may contribute to the questioner's preference for spending time with her mother and may also give rise to doubts about her father's love for her.

It is important to note that expressions of love can vary significantly from one individual to another.

The questioner's perception of his parents' treatment differs. He indicates that his mother's affection is evident, but he is uncertain about his father's feelings due to the latter's verbal abuse and insults. It is reasonable to conclude that anyone subjected to such treatment by their father would experience sadness and hurt.

A father is often seen as a source of strength and guidance, providing support and encouragement to explore the world. However, the way a father treats his child can also lead to self-doubt.

From the questioner's account, I recall an occasion when I was dining with my family. We had all finished our meals, and my sister and I were engaged in conversation. My father then proceeded to remove all the remaining food from the table. He subsequently informed us that if we were not going to eat, we should leave the table. My father had always emphasised the importance of eating and sleeping in a quiet and orderly manner. At the time, I felt that my father's approach was excessive and that he did not love us. Now that I am a parent myself, I understand that my father's actions were not a reflection of his lack of affection but rather a means of expressing his love in a different way.

The individual in question has acne on his face and feels more comfortable covering it up by rubbing toothpaste on it. However, this method is ineffective and may even exacerbate the issue. The individual's father's words were hurtful, but he is using his own words to tell the individual that he cannot do this. He is already used to this way of expressing himself, and perhaps this way of expressing himself is also one of the factors leading to problems in their marriage.

It would be beneficial to communicate with your father.

The questioner is unable to resolve the issue with his father, but is forced to endure the situation. The emotions caused by this situation can only be processed and released by the questioner alone. There is a lack of communication between the questioner and his father, which causes numerous issues. We respect our fathers, and their methods of communication may cause the questioner to feel fearful. However, we must overcome this fear and attempt to communicate and express ourselves.

It is possible to express feelings and show emotions in front of one's father. This allows him to understand that you are still a child and that you require his love. It is not necessary to guess whether he loves you or not. No matter what problems adults have with each other that have caused them to separate, these have no bearing on you. It is therefore unproductive to take out your emotions on yourself as a result of these problems.

As you have not previously had the opportunity to express yourself, the first attempt may not be as effective as you would like. You may find it helpful to look at yourself in the mirror more often, imagining the person in the mirror as the person you want to talk to, and expressing all the things you want to say. This kind of practice can help you communicate better with other people.

It is important to learn to separate your personal issues from those of your parents.

The protagonist is the child of his parents, but you are first and foremost an individual with your own life lessons to learn. The protagonist's parents did not learn their life lessons well, so when problems arose, they were unable to solve them.

Despite their decision to divorce, they will continue to love the question owner. Their passion for the mother still warms the question owner's heart, and they will not let their mistakes affect themselves. The question owner may still be weak, but they have the right to choose their desired lifestyle.

What kind of attitude determines what kind of life you have? There is a saying: "Happy is one day, unhappy is also one day." It is possible to live without a heart and allow oneself to be happy every day. "It's Not Your Fault" is recommended to the question owner. Learn to accept yourself and be your true self with all your heart. That's enough.

I hope my response is of assistance to the questioner. Best regards.

Hello. From what you've said, I can see how you're feeling. You want to be seen, affirmed, and cared for by your father, but it seems like you're getting rejection, cursing, and disregard instead. You're feeling helpless and conflicted inside. How can you build a relationship with your father?

I'm a psychotherapist, and I'd like to share some insights from a psychological perspective. You mentioned that your parents divorced when you were 13. You said you lived with your father and your mother paid a lot of attention to you. It seems like you have a good mother and a challenging father.

Your mom doesn't live with you, and she's trying to make up for her love for you by apologizing to you. She'll give you some material satisfaction and meet some of your needs. But your dad has always lived with you, and life is like a mess. Your dad's temper, negative emotions, and anxious state unconsciously spill out on you. You feel that your dad is ruthless and cold. You just gave an example of putting toothpaste on your pimples. In your subconscious mind, you don't trust your dad and don't ask him for help. Instead, you do it your own way. This example makes your dad very angry. You ignore your dad and don't ask for help like he does. Do you think your dad can't help you?

Or do you have doubts about your father? Or do you think your father is to blame for your child going through puberty and your parents getting divorced?

It's important to be aware of how you communicate with your father. Think about the way you do it. You love your father and want his attention. I'm guessing you're a boy because you're not referred to by your gender in the text. You only see your father's external indifference, denial, and accusations, but deep down he also longs to be noticed and recognized. Show your love for your father. Your parents have been divorced for so many years. How have you grown up?

You can now seek help if you need it. You also have resources. Try to understand your father from a different perspective. Learn more about why he's anxious and you'll understand his helplessness and powerlessness. You'll be able to connect with your father and help him through his difficulties. You must also allow his children to grow positively.

It's a two-way street. Just because our fathers don't love us doesn't mean we stop loving ourselves. Maybe they have their limitations, and maybe they also lack love (their temper and temperament are related to their family of origin). Through learning, you will first learn to love yourself, learn to express yourself in words, and learn to communicate and exchange with words. When you have the strength, you will turn on the source of love and love your loved ones, including your father, mother, the world, and me. You have to learn to love yourself.

Hello!

A child feels happiness in a harmonious and stable family, and this builds their inner sense of security and trust in others. This is why it is so important for parents to be aware of their actions and feedback, as they have a very strong influence on a child's psychology!

My father is always "sarcastic." Does he not love me?

I'm 13 years old, and I'm living with my dad now that my parents are divorced. My mom is really sweet to me, but my dad is a bit of a challenge. I've got acne on my face (not pimples), and I'm trying to figure out the best way to get rid of it. I've been using toothpaste to cover it up, and it's helping a bit. My dad saw me using it and asked, "Are you playing with fire?" I said no, but the toothpaste makes my face feel better.

My father has gone, but I can still hear him cursing: "I'll wait for you to give yourself up for play!"

I'm excited to share that this isn't the first time I've said this!

The questioner is 13 years old, a minor, and still at an age where they need care and love to develop a stable self-image. The mother's constant expressions of love and concern have allowed the questioner to feel loved and a sense of self-worth, which is wonderful! In contrast, the father's "love" is more "hidden," and the feedback from their interactions is more negative comments and emotions, which presents an exciting opportunity for growth. This makes the questioner always doubt themselves, and thus question whether the father loves them, which is a chance for them to recognize their own worth and feel the love and warmth they deserve.

From the story and the way the father interacts with the questioner, it's clear that the father is prone to transferring his negative emotions onto the child. This is an opportunity for growth! The father may even unconsciously "curse" the child, which is a chance for the child to learn about boundaries. This may be due to the father having more internal conflicts, so when faced with other interpersonal relationships, he will instinctively vent his internal dissatisfaction and anger at the other person. With the child, who cannot understand, he will subconsciously blame himself, thinking that his actions have angered the other person. This is a chance for the child to learn about empathy and understanding.

For example, in life, we can always meet parents who are in a bad mood. Maybe the father has lost at mahjong, or business is not going well, or something unhappy happened today... The problem may also come from the more distant past. At this time, we are extra cautious, because parents who have assumed all decision-making power in the family are an authoritative presence. Children are afraid of being abandoned and subconsciously want to take actions to please and cooperate with each other to ensure their living environment.

How do you regulate negative emotions?

It's clear that the father's inability to get along with his child, set boundaries, and manage his emotions is causing the child to struggle with self-esteem. The good news is that there are ways to restore emotional balance! By maintaining reasonable boundaries and being aware of your emotions, you can avoid over-interpreting and taking responsibility for the father's negative emotions.

1. Avoid direct conflict with your father and distract yourself. If your father is someone who often cannot control his emotions, then there is no need to deliberately or actively communicate with him. As a child, you cannot consciously identify with other people's emotions, so there's no need to worry about that! You may well be innocently drawn into the negative emotions of adults, but you can avoid that by focusing on the present and remaining self-centered.

2. Focus on the present and remain self-centered. You can't stop communicating with your father, so you've got to learn how to manage your emotions. Stay centered, don't overthink your dad's words and actions, and stick to your principles. This way, you won't let your emotions get the better of you and cause problems.

3. Cultivate a positive mindset that focuses on happiness and dissipates negative emotions. It's amazing how simple it can be to be happy! All you have to do is pay less attention to negative information and pay more attention to things that make you feel happy. This will generate positive emotions within, creating a positive cycle of emotional replenishment, which will ease internal pressure and make you feel physically and mentally relaxed and happy.

You've got this! Keep up the amazing work!