High school students, quite reserved, always concerned about others' reactions, what should one do?

Hello, host! I'm smiling.

After reading your description, I understand your question better. You can count on me for support.

From your description, I can tell that you have a relatively clear self-awareness. You are luckier than most people because you know what kind of problems exist. I can provide you with some ideas to help you.

From your description, it's clear that you believe your personality is the root of your problems. You say you're introverted, but there's nothing wrong with that. Personality is not a flaw. There is no right or wrong in personality. What matters is your attitude and approach.

You are an introvert, but you can also get what you want in interpersonal relationships. However, if you pursue what others think of you, you will never be satisfied because what others think of you is different and changing. Therefore, please yourself, not others, because you are the most important.

Everyone has their own rhythm and lifestyle, and there's no need to please everyone all the time. Just be yourself because you're great just the way you are. There's no need to model yourself on others in many things.

I have also summarized some ways to help you alleviate the current situation, and I am confident that it will help you to some extent.

(1) Know yourself reasonably, and don't be too sweeping in your generalizations. Everyone has their own bright spots. Amplify yours, and you'll be the person others want to be.

(2) Express your feelings and thoughts correctly, and don't hide them too much. You can be sure that there will always be someone who cares about you.

(3) You have to live your own life, and you have to stop being so hard on yourself. We are all imperfect, so you have to learn to accept that about yourself and move on.

Read this book. It's called "The Courage to Be Disliked." If you have the chance, go read it. You'll benefit from it.

(5) One of the most compelling points in the book is the concept of topic separation. It's a simple yet powerful idea: other people's business is theirs, and has nothing to do with you. What's yours is yours, and what affects you is only what's related to you.

(6) There is no right or wrong in personality, whether you are introverted or extroverted. The most important thing is to find a way to get along with your own personality.

The world and I love you!

I wish you the best.

Dear Questioner, I want to extend a warm greeting to you in response to your inquiry. I empathize with your sentiments, as they mirror my own experiences.

During that period, I did not implement any effective measures, which had a significant impact on my development in the subsequent stages. I am pleased to see you taking the initiative to seek assistance.

Furthermore, I have enhanced my cognitive abilities and adjusted my emotional state through continuous learning in the later stages. I hope this information will be beneficial for you.

Firstly, the high school stage is also part of the adolescent period. Young people at this stage experience a crisis of identity, which is a necessary process of growth. If this stage is not well navigated, it can lead to confusion about one's own identity. The main manifestations are excessive self-negation, selective attention, and a more negative self-image.

Another key characteristic of this period is excessive self-centeredness. This manifests as a perception that everyone is paying attention to oneself and that one should receive positive responses from others. When expectations are not met, individuals may experience an emotional state of either/or. Being aware of this can help individuals recognize that their current state is not unusual.

Secondly, after discussing commonalities, we will address individuality. Each individual's temperament is innate and possesses unique characteristics. It is not possible to determine which temperament is superior or inferior, as both have their merits. Temperament and personality are also closely intertwined. While temperament is innate, personality can be shaped later in life. During the growth process, individuals continuously enhance their personalities based on their innate temperament.

Previously, I viewed my sensitivity as a disadvantage, as it led to prolonged periods of introspection and internal strife. I failed to recognize the advantages of emotional sensitivity and the ways in which it benefited me.

Consequently, individuals who are highly sensitive and self-critical may tend to avoid situations that they perceive as challenging.

It would be erroneous to assume that we are helpless in the face of the current situation. By understanding the characteristics of this stage of our lives and our individual uniqueness, we can better accept our current state. The solution is to adjust our perception. I recommend the new Emotion Therapy by Burns, which has helped many people worldwide to relieve emotional distress and live the life they want. You can learn more about it here.

For example, "I feel especially sad and depressed when someone responds indifferently or not at all, and a lot of negative emotions well up inside me." The underlying irrational beliefs are "should" and "should not" — "as long as I speak or have a sincere conversation, others should respond positively." "I feel especially sad and depressed when someone responds indifferently or not at all" contains the idea that "if someone responds indifferently, it means I'm not good enough and not popular." These are also examples of irrational beliefs such as emotional reasoning, self-negation, jumping to conclusions, and so on.

While a brief response may not fully address your question, we can begin by observing and accepting our emotions, continuously acquiring new cognitive concepts, and modifying our irrational beliefs to enhance our emotional well-being. It is my hope that through consistent learning and growth, you will be able to live your desired lifestyle.

Dear Question Asker,

After reading your account, I can comprehend your sentiments. Individuals who are perceptive to others' reactions are adept at discerning nuances in their interactions that may elude others. For instance, when extending an offer, if the recipient exhibits hesitation, it is readily discernible, prompting a replay in the mind: Is the other person not interested?

One might be forgiven for assuming that the other person does not like it and is rejecting me.

In a group setting, one can discern the nuances of interpersonal dynamics and interactions.

Individuals who are highly attuned to the emotional states of others are typically adept at rapidly discerning anger, sadness, and anxiety in others. These individuals also appear to perceive the emotional nuances of others with greater acuity, even in subtle changes.

The question thus arises as to why people have such sensitive personalities.

Some posit that it is an innate disposition, whereas others suggest that it is more likely the result of a nurturing environment, which may render a person sensitive.

To illustrate, during the formative years of childhood, the emotional states of parents (crucial caregivers) are markedly volatile. These parents express their emotions on their children at the slightest provocation and may even resort to corporal punishment.

It is also the case that children may be reared in families where criticism is a constant feature of their upbringing.

As a consequence, children experience persistent feelings of anxiety and vulnerability, perceiving each day as a state of heightened alertness. Over time, they develop a heightened sensitivity to the emotional states of others, interpreting even subtle changes in mood as a potential threat.

This "overly sensitive" behavior, which is learned in this environment, serves as a protective mechanism. These children must be the first to notice the slightest change in the emotions of others, so that they are prepared to respond at the earliest opportunity. This enables them to be less likely to be hurt.

As a result of their inherent tendency to perceive threats, individuals often perceive the emotional states of others as a potential source of danger. Their heightened sensitivity to these external cues serves as a means of reducing their own anxiety and fear, as they perceive a sense of security when they observe others exhibiting positive and tranquil emotional states.

The question thus arises as to how this situation might be altered.

1. Distinguish between one's own emotions and the emotions of others.

It is important to be mindful of whether one is being influenced by the emotions of others or simply caught up in the intensity of their emotions when one's own emotions are rising again.

It is recommended that when an individual observes another person in a negative emotional state and experiences a concomitant negative emotional state, they inquire of themselves whether their emotional state is a result of empathizing with the other person's distress or whether it is a result of their own nervous and anxious response to the other person's negative emotional state. This inquiry may assist the individual in distinguishing whether they are empathizing with the other person or whether they are doing so out of self-protection.

2. Is there a genuine basis for assuming that other people's emotions are directed at me?

If one discovers that one's sensitivity to others' emotions is a result of fear of being hurt or fear of what others think of one, it is necessary to confirm that one's own emotions may not be influenced by external factors. One can attempt to observe and record instances when individuals in one's vicinity are emotionally aroused and refrain from reacting in ways that are not genuinely desired, such as doing things that one does not want to do in order to please others.

Subsequently, one can observe whether the other person's emotions are genuinely directed at oneself and whether they will indeed cause harm. Furthermore, one can even confirm one's suspicions and predictions with the other person directly after they have calmed down.

3. It is imperative to continually remind oneself that it is not necessary to internalize the emotions of others.

It is important to understand that we are solely responsible for our own emotions and not those of others. This applies to all relationships, including parent-child, marital, and friendships. When empathizing with the pain, sadness, anger, and anxiety of others, it is essential to recognize that these emotions are not our own. Each individual possesses their own unique emotional landscape, and while we can attempt to comprehend another person's feelings from their perspective, we must not become overwhelmed by their emotions. This understanding of emotional boundaries is crucial for maintaining emotional well-being and preventing emotional distress.

It is my sincere hope that this information is beneficial to you.

Hello.

Hello. I want to know how you're feeling now.

From your description, I can see the inner loneliness you face during your unique adolescence, and even a dislike for your own character. But at the same time, I can also see your active exploration of yourself and your rare awareness. You are already on the path to becoming a better person.

You describe yourself as reserved, and you've tried to change it to have friends. The results haven't been what you expected, and you're feeling lost and frustrated. You doubt yourself and even hate yourself sometimes. These are normal emotions. If I were in your shoes, I'd have the same negative thoughts and emotions.

If you're feeling depressed and like you can't take it anymore, take a break. Go play ball, go for a run, do whatever you need to do to take a step back and reset.

"Let's have lunch. We'll figure it out when I get back."

I understand you want friends and in-depth exchanges. But you worry your personality will ruin that. You don't know how to make close friends. I'll tell you how. Just be yourself. Do the things you like. Say what you like. Read the books you like. Watch the dramas you like. Friends may come late.

Read this book: The Courage to Be Disliked. It includes a passage on topic separation. It's simple: we are not others, and it is rare to accurately guess what others are thinking. How others think and act is their business, and we only need to do what we should do. So how others respond to what you say is their business, and most of your guesses are inaccurate. Instead of guessing about others, focus on what you want to say and do.

I know this may be difficult for you, but it's okay. We can practice slowly. When I realize that others are indifferent to me, I remind myself to focus on what I want to express and do.

Adolescence is a sensitive period of individual growth. It is particularly susceptible to learning experiences such as integrating with peers, achieving self-identification, and learning to use emotions. It's common to have growth issues in these areas at this age. I believe you are already on the way, and now you are learning how to walk more steadily and better.

You've got this! Best of luck!

Hello!

Hug you! Feeling lonely is totally normal and nothing to be ashamed of. If we want to be happy, we can still find ways to make ourselves happy when we're lonely and feel joy. As long as we try our best to feel joy, it will find us!

It's totally normal to worry about other people's reactions sometimes.

It's actually because we lack inner security that we pay so much attention to other people's reactions. This lack of security isn't caused by the external environment, so we focus on it and try to gain external warmth to fill the inner void. But this only treats the symptoms, not the root cause. We need to give ourselves inner security, not rely on external people or circumstances.

I've found that my introverted personality has brought me a lot of loneliness and negative emotions.

I really tried to change it. I tried chatting with my roommates and classmates, but during the chat I would pay close attention to the reactions of everyone listening to me. If someone reacted indifferently or didn't even respond, I would feel especially sad. My mood would be very depressed, and a lot of negative emotions would come flooding out. I would think a lot about whether she didn't like me or whether I was really boring.

Bi Ru, I've found that my introverted nature has brought me more burdens than anything else. I often feel lonely and negative emotions. I try to chat with friends, but their negativity makes me feel frustrated and gives me the feeling of being rejected. Do you think it's really the introverted nature and the rejection from friends that make me feel even more lonely?

I'd really love to know what it is that I'm trying to escape from when I feel lonely.

It's totally normal for a high school student who's focused on her studies, laughing out loud, and a bit rebellious but still true to herself to have lots of conflicting emotions. It might be that her upbringing didn't give her the recognition and encouragement she needed when she needed it most. Being introverted is a choice, made after thinking carefully about your thoughts. This way of being will attract more friends, and sharing your inner joys and sorrows with friends makes people feel more accepted and included. The standard for this won't be unique, but it will definitely be more pure and warm in a child's world. It's just that when we lack inner security, our feelings will be more inclined to negative feelings.

How do you handle your feelings and love yourself?

1. Learn to take care of yourself and cultivate the ability to love. You deserve it!

Every family is different, and most kids grow up in imperfect families. But things are getting better! More and more, we're realizing the importance of nurturing our little ones. So, no matter what, every child will have some growing up to do.

It's just a matter of degree. We all have shortcomings, and when we encounter them, it can make us feel insecure. As we grow older and our inner needs change, we may start to feel unloved when we're confused. It's natural to feel this way, but it's also important to remember that we are loved just as we are. When we feel this sense of inner deficiency, it's time to learn to take care of ourselves. We can do this by learning and growing from our experiences and knowledge. We can also cultivate the ability to love and become self-sufficient. This way, we won't blindly look outside for it.

When you're feeling restless and agitated, try reading a passage from a book or concentrating on a manual task. This helps you learn to get along with your emotions and take care of yourself. You'll find that you can take care of your emotions and, when they've passed, you can face the outside world again. You'll feel more unified inside and out, and your confidence will come naturally.

2. It's a great idea to record your emotions every day and reflect on yourself.

Everyone experiences about 25,000 emotions a day. That's a lot! If we were to express them all, we'd probably run out of time and energy. But we can record our emotions. This is a great way to understand and observe our inner emotions. By recording them, we can reflect on ourselves while releasing our emotions. We can see which emotions are unreasonable and which emotions can be adjusted further, so that we can make others feel comfortable in interpersonal interactions, rather than conflicting emotions. In this way, our emotions become more and more stable and unified.

The original poster asks, "Is there something wrong with my personality?" I really feel for you, my friend. When you truly understand yourself, you will understand that you are the only you in the world. What we need to do is not change ourselves, but how to express ourselves.

It might seem tough at first, but it's really just a process of growing up. During this process, we get to learn how to express our thoughts and needs without crossing boundaries, while also learning how to express our ideas well. At the same time, we get to learn how to act when others urgently need our help, so that the other person can truly feel our sincerity. This is all part of the learning process, and life is the best mirror.

3. Look for ways to make sure you're seeing things the right way.

It's okay if you feel a certain way, but that doesn't necessarily mean you're right. Otherwise, we'd all be in a lot of trouble! When we're communicating with others, it's important to share both our feelings and our thoughts. Sometimes, though, we make mistakes.

The poster is envious of the people in the movie. They may also be the kind of people who make a lot of mistakes in life, but they don't care, just laugh it off, so there is more joy than disappointment. It's so important to laugh at ourselves and not take things too seriously! Those who try too hard to assert their own ideas, on the other hand, become "unlovable" because they can't open their hearts. It's so lovely when people are open and communicate with each other with tolerance. But those who pursue perfection and are always sensitive will make people feel more burdened. So, you don't need to pay too much attention to feelings. Sometimes you need to open yourself up first, and only after communicating can you know if it's a good match.

People who lack a sense of security seek recognition, but the good news is that we can give that to ourselves first! Then, when we look at the outside world, it may be a totally different story.

I'd highly recommend the movie Solo. It's about a person who is looking for security and trying to gain recognition and attention. But then she realizes that she doesn't need it and gains true freedom and self-esteem.

You've got this! Go for it!

Wishing you all the best!

Hello, dear child!

I am Yi Ming, a heart exploration coach.

I have carefully read your question and I am happy to chat with you. I am confident that we can have a constructive conversation that will be of some comfort and inspiration to you.

1. It's normal to care about other people's reactions during high school.

At your age, you naturally care about the reactions of those around you.

We get to know ourselves through how others see us.

It's only natural to doubt yourself when you don't get positive feedback.

Give yourself a big hug.

You are very aware and reflective.

You know you're introverted and have negative emotions. You're actively seeking solutions, which is great!

First and foremost, it is crucial to understand that we all crave the approval of others and often care about what others think.

At the same time, we must know that our self-identity is the most important thing.

Self-identity was first proposed by the famous American developmental psychologist Erik Erikson. Self-identity, also known as self-homogeneity, simply means that I want to know myself.

We have a clear and consistent understanding of who we are and our relationship with society.

We are currently in this stage.

These doubts are normal.

2. Evaluate your introverted and sensitive nature.

You say, "I even resent my personality, and this affects the people around me." During adolescence, I know many children are like you.

We know this is not good and that is good.

The truth is, those children who laugh loudly on the outside may have just as many conflicts within.

Many children believe that being introverted or sensitive is a bad thing.

These are simply our characteristics, not shortcomings.

Our outward indifference is a way of protecting ourselves from getting hurt or being unpopular.

Read the book High Sensitivity is a Gift if you want to know more.

We must remember that whenever we have a negative evaluation of ourselves, we should regard it as just a characteristic, not a shortcoming.

You are not alone if you are sensitive. You don't have to change or resent yourself.

Sensitive people do feel anxious when they are around other people. They worry about being rejected and having bad relationships if they don't do a good job.

When someone responds indifferently, you think, "Does she not like me?" But you know it could also be that your topic is not interesting.

Affirm yourself, accept yourself, and see your unreasonable thoughts for what they are.

Accept yourself, just as you are.

Stop wasting energy trying to disguise yourself. Stop trying to please others. Be honest about the real, detail-oriented self you are.

Stop internal conflict and stop doubting yourself.

If you want someone to comfort you, we will comfort others ourselves.

Tell your classmates who are better than you that you are a little sensitive. You can do it.

We don't need to compromise ourselves and please others.

At the same time, we must be brave enough to try. If we want others to treat us a certain way, we must treat others that way first.

Making friends requires trial and error.

Express yourself. You are worthy of love.

It is not your fault if some students are not enthusiastic about you.

Knowing that you have shortcomings and many strengths will make your heart more stable. Affirm yourself first.

Make friends.

You must practice constantly.

Share these things.

Best regards!

Hello, child. I am certain my answer will be helpful to you.

I used to be just like you, but I'm completely different now. Don't worry. Take your time to adjust, and we can enter a good state.

My advice to you is this:

First, you need to understand your personality correctly.

Don't deny yourself. Your introversion or extroversion is innate, and there is no good or bad in it. Extroverts have the advantage of being extroverted, and introverts have the benefits of being introverted.

I know that society favors extroverts, but there is no such thing as a good or bad personality. We simply need to find our strengths and bring them to the fore.

You don't have to pretend to be lively and cheerful; just be yourself. Only when your words and actions are consistent can your body and mind be in harmony. Extroverts recharge themselves through socializing, while introverts deplete their energy when socializing. We need to recharge ourselves through solitude. Therefore, you need to replenish what you consume, so as to achieve a balanced state.

When it comes to socializing, it's crucial to engage in selective socializing while avoiding the "spotlight effect."

Engage in selective socializing.

Everyone needs social interaction. It gives us a sense of belonging and security. But we need to be selective about who we socialize with. Avoid people who constantly criticize and discourage you. Instead, socialize with people who always encourage and support you. Experience care and support in your social interactions.

If socializing is stressful for you, adjust the frequency of socializing until it suits you. Don't force yourself. Learn to take care of your own feelings.

Avoid the "spotlight effect."

The "spotlight effect" is a term used in psychology to describe the tendency to magnify one's problems. Let's say you go to a party confidently, dressed neatly, and looking refreshed. The breeze has messed up your hair, but you're not going to let that stop you.

You're about to open the door when you catch sight of your reflection in the mirror. You look untidy and your hair is a mess. All eyes are on you and you hear whispers about your "unlucky appearance."

You are nervous, but you're not. This is what psychology calls the spotlight effect.

The spotlight shines brighter in our minds than in reality. This means that we overestimate the significance of our actions, appearance, and emotions in the eyes of others.

You're nervous when talking to others because of the "spotlight effect." You think other people pay special attention to your every move. When talking to others, you feel a spotlight shining on your head, so you're nervous.

The truth is that you don't matter that much, and other people don't pay that much attention to you. So relax, be yourself, and be true to your own state.

Know this: the more you can be true to yourself, the more you can gain ease and comfort. People who like you will like you, accept you, and support you no matter what you are like. People who don't like you may still reject you and not support you no matter how you behave. You can't win everyone's approval, but you can be the person you like in yourself. The closer you get to your true self, the more you will like yourself.

We must take others' comments in perspective.

We are all different, and each of us has our own set of evaluation criteria.

We like, approve of, and support others who meet our evaluation standards. We dislike, reject, and doubt those who do not.

It's simple: meet the other person's evaluation standards and you'll be approved. Don't meet them and you'll be disapproved.

It is not important whether the other person recognizes you or not, but whether you match his evaluation criteria. You cannot control the thoughts and actions of others. You cannot always meet other people's evaluation criteria, nor can you meet everyone's evaluation criteria.

Life is hard for everyone. Everyone has different wants, and everyone is in a different position. Don't practice yourself according to other people's standards or force others to conform to your own standards. Don't crave understanding and approval from others in everything you do.

We don't have to sacrifice ourselves to gain the approval of others. We don't have to use this approach to gain interpersonal relationships. It doesn't matter if you are liked or disliked. There will always be people who like you and people who dislike you. The important thing is whether you can accept this self that is liked and disliked at the same time.

You don't live to satisfy other people's expectations. If you keep seeking approval from others and caring about what they think, you will end up living other people's lives. If you hope too much to be recognized by others, you will live your life according to other people's expectations and lose your true self. This will bring you trouble because it is not the life you really want.

Take back control of your life and judge yourself. Treat yourself as you would anyone else and be comprehensive, objective, and truthful in your assessment. You will gain a deeper understanding of yourself and your needs. Other people's opinions will matter less.

You will find that your interpersonal relationships are better when you care less about what others think and live your true self. You will no longer be haunted by those "bad relationships" that you have traded for by pleasing others and suppressing your own needs.

Transform your emotions in a timely manner.

You have a lot of emotions and conflicts inside. Don't suppress them. Channel and transform them in time. Use the following methods:

1. Socialize with the right friends and talk about your worries and confusion. Make sure they can give you support and encouragement, and that you feel comfortable with them.

2. Get moving! Exercise and do those sports you like. Relax your body and mind through exercise.

3. Write therapy. Write all your inner feelings and thoughts on paper. Don't worry about whether your handwriting is clear and neat or if it makes sense. Just go ahead and express your feelings.

4. Punch a pillow or a sandbag to release your anger by hitting a soft object.

5. Use the empty chair technique to release emotions. Place an empty chair in a room and assume that the person you want to confide in is sitting in it. Then, express yourself to the chair—it's okay to be angry or abusive.

You've got this.

Hello!

Host:

My name is Zeng Chen, and I'm a heart exploration coach. I've read your post, and I can tell you're feeling pretty down about it. At the same time, I want to say that you're really brave for facing your own heart and seeking help on this platform. I'm sure it'll help you understand yourself better, so you can adjust and be your best self.

Next, I'll share some observations and thoughts that might help the poster see themselves in a different way.

1. What are the characteristics of adolescence?

The original poster said he's a high school student, so let's talk about what's typical for teenagers mentally. They often see things from their own perspective.

At this age, people are eager to be seen as good, popular, and perfect.

These are all the psychological characteristics of adolescence.

There's also a psychological term for it: "adolescent narcissism." It's actually a normal part of growing up.

It's only by going through these experiences that we can truly understand and accept ourselves as we are.

2. This is when we start learning about ourselves based on what other people say.

Often during adolescence, we really want to be recognized and liked by others. But our own understanding of ourselves is a bit vague, so at this time we often learn about ourselves through the feedback we receive from others.

So we pay a lot of attention to what others say about us. If they say we're a good person, we believe it.

If the feedback isn't positive, it can lead to feelings of unpopularity and a lack of self-love and self-worth. This can result in sadness.

And this sadness, from a certain point of view, will prompt us to reflect and grow.

3. Self-identification and self-acceptance

So how do we move past the narcissism that often comes with adolescence? It's about self-acceptance.

What does narcissism mean? It basically boils down to not liking yourself as you are, but liking yourself as you would like to be.

When there's a big difference between how we see ourselves and how we'd like to be seen, it can cause pain because our ideal self is always pushing back against who we really are.

So, it's fair to say that if someone is always disliking and attacking us, we're going to be pretty miserable. What's more, this kind of negative attention will also drain our energy, leaving us with not enough energy to improve ourselves.

So, we're looking to move on from narcissism and make some progress.

We can accept ourselves as we are, accept the parts of ourselves that we cannot change, and focus on the parts that we can change. We can also acknowledge our shortcomings while recognizing our strengths.

Acceptance is the first step to improvement.

I hope these are helpful and inspiring for you, the original poster. Of course, change isn't just about tackling one problem.

We also need to put in the work to learn and improve. If you have any questions along the way, you can always click to find a coach. We can communicate one-on-one and work together to overcome the challenges of growth.

Hello. I can see that you are experiencing some concerns, and I want to offer you my support. Before we discuss this issue, if you allow, I would like to give you a big hug, hoping to provide some warmth and comfort.

You mentioned that you tend to gravitate towards people who have similar experiences to you, but that you find it difficult to laugh along with them. It seems that you are often the one who is willing to take care of other people's feelings. However, this can sometimes result in you becoming overlooked by the crowd. This kind of neglect can have a negative impact on a person's emotional well-being and can lead to feelings of loneliness-11479.html" target="_blank">isolation and loneliness. I'm not sure if this is something you have experienced as well.

As you mentioned, if someone is consistently experiencing feelings of isolation and helplessness, it can lead to a lack of warmth and engagement with others, which in turn may result in a similar lack of warmth and engagement from others. This can create a vicious cycle, where the need for social interaction is present but the ability to engage in it is limited.

As the saying goes, "He who unlinks the bell must also reattach the cord." To establish an interactive relationship with others, it may be helpful to start with communication. Perhaps you could begin by observing the actions of those you think do a good job, so that you can also gain more courage and express your thoughts and attitudes more directly and clearly. Let others see the more authentic you, and slowly establish a positive interactive relationship with others.

The above are just my personal views, for reference only. I hope you take care of yourself.