How can a girl, who is being harassed by her older brother, find peace?

Hello,

Host:

My name is Zeng Chen, and I'm a heart exploration coach. I've read your post and I can see how angry you are. I also see that you've been brave in sharing your distress and looking for help on this platform. This will help you understand yourself better, protect yourself better and adjust to a healthier mindset.

Next, I'll share some observations and thoughts from the post that might help you see the situation from a different angle.

1. Try to express your emotions in a reasonable way.

In the post, the original poster mentioned being harassed by a close older brother and being unable to let go. Sometimes I look forward to having a car accident, where I get into an accident and die instantly, and my family gets compensation, and I will have no regrets.

I'm not depressed, I'm just unhappy. I can tell from this message that you're feeling depressed and unhappy.

At the same time, I'd also like to talk about what we can do for ourselves right now. I think you can try to express your pent-up emotions in a reasonable way.

If we express our emotions reasonably, they won't affect us. So, the host can use whatever method they prefer to express themselves.

You might also want to try keeping a mood diary, which is something that psychological counselors often use. In your diary, you can write down your emotions, feelings, and thoughts. As you write, you can sort out and listen to your emotions on the one hand, and express them on the other.

Once we've done that, our emotions tend to ease up. At this point, we may be less affected by our emotions, and we'll probably feel more powerful and happier.

2. Take some time to figure out why you're having trouble letting go.

From what you've said in the post, I can tell that this has had a big impact on you and you've been struggling to let go. Give yourself some time and space to think about why you can't let go.

To understand why we can't let go and what's causing it. This might help us understand ourselves better.

We can even try to accept that we're just temporarily unable to let go. We just have to make a little change: allow ourselves to do the things we like and enjoy ourselves for a certain period of time during the day.

These things and experiences can nourish us and make us happier.

3. Set your own boundaries and stick to them.

A boundary is simply what I allow you to do and what I don't allow you to do, as well as what I can accept from you and what I can't accept from you.

In our daily lives, it's important to let others know where our boundaries are. This helps them understand what kind of behavior is unacceptable to us, and it also puts pressure on and warns others.

We also need to learn to protect our boundaries. If someone crosses the line, we need to firmly set our boundaries and even give consequences. There's a view in psychology that how others treat us is something we teach them. If others hurt us, we always just tolerate it.

Then people may think they can treat us like this, so it's important to be clear about our boundaries in life and stick to them.

4. Protect yourself

The original poster mentioned in the post that his sister said, "You should also pay attention at home and make sure to close the door properly when you leave the room." This is one way we protect ourselves. At the same time, we can also think of ways to better protect ourselves. Just think about it, and I think we can always come up with some good ways.

At the same time, it's important to be aware of human nature.

We all have a dark side, and it's something we can't ignore. We just have to be aware of it. As the saying goes, human nature sometimes can't stand the test, and this is really the case.

There's a good side to human nature, and it might not be as good as we think, but it's not as bad as we think either. We just have to be awed by human nature.

I hope these are helpful and inspiring for you. If you have any questions, you can click to find a coach for one-on-one communication and exchange.

Everyone has the power to be a beacon! Whether you're asking questions or answering them, you can use the written word to illuminate the hearts of many people. This is a power that belongs to us all!

Hello, I am Coach Xinfan. I can feel your anger and grievance, and I'm here to help! Being harassed by your own brother is a tough situation, especially in a family atmosphere that values men over women. You feel aggrieved, and you have bitterness and anger that you cannot vent, which makes you feel suffocated. But you can get through this!

Let's give you a warm hug and figure out what the problem is!

Let's dive into his behavior!

First, he came to your room in the early morning to spy (that's what we know so far), and when you caught him, he fled in a panic. Then you told your sisters about it and expressed your anger. The other person tried to cover up the truth, which only made you more angry—and more determined to get to the bottom of this!

This kind of behavior is truly despicable. After all, they are siblings, and they should at least know the basics of family ethics and the need to respect and protect their sister.

Let's look at it from another perspective! The fact that he fled when he sensed you were aware of him (he didn't dare look up and climbed out of the balcony) and the fact that he tried to hide in the WeChat group shows that he still has a sense of shame and is guilty.

You also introduced the premise that that day, his parents were not at home. If he really had any evil intentions, he would not have hidden them so well!

From his perspective, it's an excess of hormones, a manifestation of sexual urges, and an outburst of love for the opposite sex. It's just that he's got his head in the clouds and is looking for the wrong person—but that's okay!

I don't know how old you are, but even young men in their 20s can easily experience sexual urges during puberty. This is a natural and exciting part of growing up! It's important to guide and release these urges in the right way.

Your attitude has already made everything clear, and this will also make him respect you and understand your sense of boundaries. I'm so excited to combine my sister's advice with my own to be more careful. At the same time, I can't wait to find a suitable opportunity to let my sister give him some pointers, such as family ethics and how to deal with one's sexual urges.

? 2. Your emotions

Every emotion is a sign that something needs to be met! For example, your anger is a result of being offended and disrespected.

You are angry with him, and his harassment of you is just the trigger that sets off this anger. But there's more to it than that! Behind the anger is a deeper anger, and all unmet needs are the satisfaction we did not get from our parents.

Parents favor sons over daughters, and this can lead to feelings of hurt when your needs for respect, understanding, and approval are not met. But there's a way to turn this around! By recognizing and expressing your anger, you can gain a sense of empowerment and control.

Anger is a gift that teaches us an important life lesson in this way, and we can gain energy from it. Allow yourself to be angry, but don't act out with anger, such as cursing, name-calling, or retaliation, especially not with the people we love most.

3. There are so many ways to deal with anger!

1) Seeing your own anger: Maintain a sense of awareness. When a similar situation occurs, the deep-seated anger will be reactivated. Seeing your own anger will give you choices—and choices are empowering!

2) Expand your thinking: accept more different people and things. Seeing things from the other person's perspective is not about forgiving, but about understanding their actions, which are simply the choices they can make within their own perception. And it's a great idea to do so!

For example, if parents favor sons over daughters, it is only their level of understanding, influenced by traditional thinking, education, and the environment around them. The good news is that you can separate your parents' behavior from their identity!

I really hope the above is helpful to you, and to the world! And I love you! ?

If you want to continue the conversation, just click "Find a coach" in the upper right corner or at the bottom! I can't wait to communicate and grow with you one-on-one.

Good day.

I empathize with your feelings of distress and frustration, and I wish I could provide a more tangible form of support to help ease your emotional burden.

I believe the reason you were harassed by your brother in the middle of the night, and you were unable to call the police because you lacked evidence and were concerned about various factors, and you were unable to inform your parents, and you "especially could not inform your parents," is likely because your parents have historically favored your brother over you and are significantly biased and indulgent towards him. Disclosing this information to them would not only be unproductive, but it would also result in criticism. I empathize with and care about this fear and helplessness you feel inside.

First and foremost, it is essential to prioritize your personal safety. Close doors and windows when retiring for the night and request your sister's company. If circumstances warrant, installing a camera in your room can streamline evidence collection. In the event of an incident, you have the option of contacting the authorities and taking an active role in the process.

It is important to increase your psychological independence and make yourself stronger and more powerful.

Despite your young age of 18, you have already demonstrated the capacity to work and gradually accumulate experience. You have the potential to support yourself financially through your own work, which would serve as an independent financial foundation. Concurrently, it is essential to recognize your status as an independent individual with unique personality traits and abilities. You possess the right to determine the course of your life and exercise control over your destiny. You have the option to decline working in your brother's shop, particularly in the capacity of a nanny. You can secure the autonomy to live independently with the assistance of your sister or other relatives and friends.

It is important to communicate with your parents in a patient and rational manner.

From childhood to adulthood, your parents' preference for boys may have caused significant psychological harm to you and your sister. It has also negatively impacted your trust in and dependence on your parents. However, now that you are older and stronger, you have the opportunity to advocate for a more equitable understanding and love from your parents. You can also demonstrate to your parents that lavishing excessive attention on your brother may not be beneficial for him. While you may not be able to alter your parents' perspectives, you should express your frustration and strength. You should exercise caution when addressing issues and be courageous in expressing your thoughts and feelings within the family. This will help you gain understanding and be treated differently.

It is important to be aware of and reduce the influence of your inner fantasies while maintaining a realistic perspective.

It is not uncommon for individuals to engage in fantasies and imaginations that may include scenarios such as car accidents. These imaginations serve as a defense mechanism, providing a means of resisting feelings of powerlessness. However, it is important to recognize that such fantasies may have a negative impact on mental health. By paying attention to this aspect, individuals can save mental energy, develop more effective coping strategies, and plan for a brighter future.

It is important to recognize the need for separation from your original family and to focus on creating your own future.

It is not inevitable that an individual will be unhappy in the future simply because they have experienced mistreatment in their family of origin. Many people carry the trauma of their family into the future. However, I can also see that despite having a less than optimal family background, you have not allowed your emotions to become depressed, which demonstrates your resilience.

Gradually enhance your capabilities in all areas, gradually establish independence from your family of origin, and pursue your own future. I wish you success!

I hope that Hongyu's reply is helpful to you. Thank you for your inquiry.

Hello, question owner! I am Jiang 61. Thank you for trusting us with your private matters and seeking our help.

I am also very angry after reading your account. It is only natural that you are unhappy now, but you should know that you are not at fault, and your brother is to blame.

You mustn't punish yourself for this. It won't help. What can you do to see a future for yourself?

1. Unblock the depression in your heart.

1⃣️ I want to know where depression comes from.

Your depression stems from the unfair treatment you've endured at the hands of your parents. Despite not directly stating it, your writing reveals a deep sense of injustice and resentment.

Depression stems from the fact that when you need your sister's support, she has developed a character of keeping out of trouble. She even lets you settle things quietly, which isolates and disempowers you.

Your timid and weak character is the root cause of your depression. You are angry, but you cannot tell your parents.

2⃣️ Partiality cannot replace education and love. It only causes harm.

Girls born into families that value boys over girls actually live a very aggrieved and helpless life. You are powerless to stop your parents from using this biased way of showing love to love your brother.

However, you know that in the end, it is their beloved brother who suffers the most from this kind of love.

Your brother needs to learn the difference between right and wrong. Indulging him has made it difficult for him to understand this. Once he crosses the line, the law will tell him whether his actions have crossed it. He will have to bear the consequences.

3⃣️. Distinguish right from wrong and fight for your rights.

Parents' favoritism and son preference have resulted in biased parenting.

Your brother has the courage to do something despicable today because of overly indulgent parenting. In a family that values sons over daughters, any problems your brother has will be covered up by the only male in the family, the future heir.

Sometimes you have to let things go and let him be. This will only foster a spoiled and willful character.

If parents don't pay attention to education, society will ultimately provide him with the education he deserves. But by then it will be too late.

I am certain that none of you in the family want to see this result. Even if you hate him now, the fact that you want to end this with your death proves that you don't want to see any other bad endings.

On this issue, you must distinguish right from wrong, let him understand that this is a very serious mistake, and that it may be subject to legal sanctions. You must distinguish right from wrong, not to make things difficult for him, but to help him.

Mistakes can be corrected as soon as they are discovered, before they lead to bigger problems. This is something parents must also understand. Have a serious talk with your parents to let them understand the seriousness of the problem.

You may feel uncomfortable and angry when your brother does this, but you need to talk to your parents. It's your right as a daughter and a woman to be protected from further harassment and harm.

2. About yourself

1⃣️, You are not at fault, and you should not have sacrificed yourself to help your brother.

Your brother harassed you. Your brother hurt you. The mistake should have been borne by your brother himself, but you were depressed and helpless, and you thought of ending it all with an accidental death. You asked yourself, "Can the problem really be solved?"

You should feel remorse and guilt for your brother's mistakes. This kind of death will not solve any problems except for getting rid of your own troubles.

You are punishing yourself for your brother's mistakes and enabling his wrongdoings. He will remain the same. He will not feel any remorse and change his ways.

Let me be clear: your thinking is wrong.

2⃣️ Be a strong person inside.

This incident reveals a fundamental problem with your character. Living in a family like this with your sister, you often compromise and sacrifice yourself to benefit others.

You have no idea what you're doing. With a personality like yours, you will be bullied in any future society, and you won't be able to fight for your rights.

What happened was wrong. Don't swallow your anger. Speak up for yourself when the time is right.

You have the confidence to speak up because you are right and you have the right to fight for your own interests. You keep strengthening this awareness, and your heart will grow stronger. I know you will be able to speak up directly when you encounter a similar problem again.

3⃣, Free yourself.

We give you advice because we know you can get over it as soon as possible. Let a professional counselor talk to you face-to-face to completely release yourself and help you get out of the predicament as soon as possible.

4. Leave the family.

When you're unable to change everything, you can change yourself. If you realize this family can't make you happy, leave and find your own path.

3. About your brother

I am certain that the person who is most unwilling to face the truth is the one who has no moral integrity and has done the worst thing to you. It is clear that he is acting as if nothing has happened. I can understand how you feel.

Your heart is complex. You want him out of your life. You hate his lack of progress. You have traditional family values. He is the future of the family. He is the hope of your parents. You don't want to see him suffer.

A person must learn to take responsibility for their mistakes if they are to grow up. You cannot directly control your brother, but you should make sure he knows your interests and bottom line.

You need to tell him to his face so he knows you're serious and he'll think about what he's doing and how it affects his sister. If you can't do that, make your stance clear in the group.

Make sure he understands what you mean. Don't allow it to happen again.

4. About Parents

From your account, it is clear that the parents have made a number of mistakes in how they have approached the situation. It is not helpful to accuse them of anything.

We can't be the judge here. Let the parents continue to let the older brother do whatever he wants.

Of course not. There is a question of boundaries here. Parents should do what parents do, and we, the younger generation, cannot exceed our authority and do what they should do.

It is our responsibility to inform parents of what is going on and the stakes. They have a right and obligation to keep their children informed.

As for how to educate, that is their business.

I am confident that you will be happy again soon.

The message indicates that the questioner is still grappling with the events that transpired in the early morning of May 1st this year. It seems that the discovery that the man who entered your room was your own brother has left you with a profound sense of disquiet.

It is understandable that this anger stems from the disruption caused by late-night visits and the accumulation of less pleasant experiences in daily interactions.

In light of the various circumstances you have outlined in your message, I hope that the following suggestions might offer some additional insights and ideas for fostering a more harmonious relationship with the other party.

1. Perhaps it would be helpful to take a moment to reflect on the factors that might be affecting your relationship with N.

1. The family's apparent preference for one child over another

Your brother is only one year older than you. It would seem that his parents value boys over girls, as they paid for him to open a store. The original family in which the questioner grew up not only provided material support for N, but also asked one of their daughters, who had left the family, to help run the store.

It would seem that the questioner is a good child who is filial to his parents. This is evident from the message, which expresses the hope that there will be a car accident so that the family can receive compensation. Therefore, it seems likely that the questioner will not disobey his parents' request, despite feeling uneasy and reluctant.

It would seem that the parents have allocated the majority of the family's resources to N, which has resulted in N having the best resources in the family.

As children of the same parents, the questioner not only supported their parents' demands at the expense of their own time, but also did not receive anything in return. They were not treated as well as they might have been during the process of having to give, and as stated in the comment, "they were just babysitting".

Even if the brother did not harass her late at night, the unequal distribution of resources in the family was still a cause for concern.

2. Your brother's somewhat challenging temperament may occasionally affect your interactions with him.

While the part of the message that highlights my brother's temperament is conveyed in a rather direct manner, it's also evident from the preceding messages and snippets of interactions with my brother that his character may not align with the expectations of the individual who posed the question.

It might be helpful to consider that the shopkeeper's treatment of you as a "nanny" could indicate that your brother is not as friendly to you in daily life as you would like.

It is therefore likely that disapproval of another person's actions or a lack of friendly feelings will affect the relationship and the state of both parties.

3. It might be worth considering that breaking in late at night could potentially have a negative effect on the relationship.

While the original motive behind the brother's actions remains unclear, it's important to recognize that entering someone's personal space during an unconventional time, particularly when both parties are of the opposite sex and related, can evoke feelings of unease and discomfort.

Secondly, it might be helpful to consider ways of loosening up the relationship on a practical and psychological level, with a view to making yourself feel better.

Secondly, it might be helpful to consider ways of loosening up the relationship on a practical and psychological level, with a view to making yourself feel better.

The original poster is striving to be independent, but is currently constrained by circumstances. My sister is simply suggesting that you avoid making a fuss about it, and that you take steps to safeguard your own interests.

If this is the case, it can be easy to feel a lack of control and power, which may further contribute to your discomfort in your interactions with N.

You might like to consider the following suggestions to help you maintain a sense of independence and autonomy in your life:

1. It might be helpful to let the other person know your bottom line and principles in a realistic way.

It might be helpful to consider that your brother's late-night entry into your room could be perceived as a bit unwelcome. In addition to taking steps to protect yourself, you might also benefit from trying to communicate your needs and expectations to your partner in a clear and assertive manner.

If you find it challenging to communicate face-to-face at the moment, you might consider expressing your thoughts in writing and sharing them with the other person.

If you dedicate all your time and energy to the shop, you may find that the independence you desire is becoming more challenging to achieve. You might consider spending more time exploring job opportunities that align with your interests and abilities.

With the freedom to develop yourself, you may find that your relationship with your partner is not constrained by your financial situation or the demands of your family.

2. At the psychological level, it might be helpful to consider ways of giving yourself more autonomy and choices.

It is unclear whether the relationship with your brother has always been strained or if it has changed recently.

The original poster may be able to recall the changes in the relationship on their own. If there were once happy memories, there is a possibility that they can help you see some of the elements that could be built into a relatively comfortable relationship. If it has always been more tense, there might be other factors at play besides just your personalities and actions that have affected the relationship, such as the internal links with the whole family.

It might be helpful to accept some of the realities of the situation.

As an adult, you may find that you have greater autonomy and choice in the psychological aspects of your own relationships.

No matter the distance, you have the option to make adjustments according to your needs. One way to facilitate the process of letting go is to increase your sense of control.

It is my sincere hope that the above sharing will be an inspiration to you.

As a psychologist, my focus is not on exploring human nature but on supporting the human heart. I wish you well.

Dear Question Asker,

I can discern your displeasure at being subjected to harassment, and I can also perceive the sense of helplessness and injustice you feel when your sister instructs you to "deal with it." This is linked to the perceived unfairness you experience when your parents prioritize sons over daughters, and you are compelled to provide childcare for your own brother. It is undoubtedly challenging to navigate.

It would be beneficial to consider a compromise with regard to the unreasonable demands being made. It is important to ensure that your family clearly understand and respect your boundaries.

While you are confident that your brother has harassed and violated you, there is currently no way to produce convincing evidence. In order to protect yourself and to hold him accountable for his actions, you should express your anger honestly and expose him to the light of day. This will ensure that he bears all the consequences.

I hope you are able to express your frustration in a constructive manner.

Despite your parents' preference for sons and your sister's advice, I hope you can communicate with your parents openly and honestly. While your parents may continue to indulge him, you have the right to set boundaries.

If you are offended but lack the support of family members, you must provide your own support.

Your departure from your previous position does not preclude future employment. You are entitled to select a profession that aligns with your interests. Your parents have no authority to impede your autonomy, and you are not obligated to assume the role of caregiver for their child.

You have your own life and should not be restricted by others. I hope you can find a new job in a bold and decisive manner.

It may be that you and your sister have been used to compromising, but if this habit does not lead to the desired results and even requires you to sacrifice your sense of boundaries, I hope you can discard it and find a new approach.

Individuals who practice self-love will gain the admiration and respect of others, allowing the "law of attraction" to capture their happiness.

I am aware that you are currently experiencing a high level of distress, frustration, and anger. However, I am deeply concerned about your recent remarks about hoping for a car accident as a means of leaving your family compensation without any regrets.

I am pleased to hear that this is simply a matter of your personal perspective and not an accurate reflection of reality.

It seems that your upbringing was marked by a lack of affection, which has resulted in significant emotional distress. You may occasionally perceive that the world is indifferent to your needs and that this has led to your current circumstances. This can lead to a lack of motivation to continue personal growth.

However, your assumption is incorrect. The world is a vast entity, comprising numerous individuals beyond your immediate family.

Life is rich with a variety of experiences, including positive and negative aspects. It is important not to let the imperfections of one's family of origin define one's entire life.

It is a fact that you have encountered numerous instances of warmth and affection outside the home, and that you have smiled at a great many people, some of whom you knew and some of whom you did not. It is also a fact that you have shed tears, felt anger, and experienced moments of contentment and relaxation.

When you focus on the positive aspects of life, you will prioritize the brightness and warmth of life, and the real pain and suffering will become less significant. Furthermore, under the influence of the law of attraction, it will gradually become the least important factor.

The world is a vast entity, and I will extend my love to anyone who loves themselves, including you.

It is important to recognize that while parents, siblings, and others in our lives may have imperfections, this does not diminish the value of our relationships. There are numerous individuals in our broader social circle who care about us and are ready to support our growth and self-love.

Lin Yang:

1. [Ask for help] This is a tough one. It's not just about ethics and morals, but also about what's fair for your family. Your brother is an adult now, and it's time for him to take responsibility for his actions.

You can always ask your parents for help and see what they do. If your parents still value boys over girls and completely ignore your physical and mental health,

If you feel like you need help, you can always call the police and let them take over.

2. [Independence] You've also graduated and started working! It's a great time to start thinking about your own safety. You have the option of moving out and living on your own, or sharing a flat with friends and classmates.

2. Independence: You've graduated and started working! It's an exciting time. To protect yourself, you can move out and live on your own, or share accommodation with friends or classmates.

If money is really tight, you can also look for work that includes room and board. The most important thing is to start with financial independence.

Once you become an independent person, you'll be able to protect yourself and then go after the happiness you deserve!

3. [Love] There's always something to do at every age! You were a student before, and your duty was to study. Now you're working, and the most important thing is to earn money, followed by falling in love and getting married!

Find a guy who loves you, live together, and work hard together. If the other person is the right person, then you can start your own family!

Take care of your little family and make your life as happy as you can. Then, when you've done that, you'll be ready to look your parents in the eye and say, "I'm proud of you."

My dear,

It's totally normal to feel embarrassed when you encounter such things. The good news is that you're not depressed, and feeling unhappy is a totally normal reaction.

It's so important for women to love and cherish their bodies. And it's also really important to firmly say no to any invasion of their bodies that is not consensual. This is basic self-protection, and it's also a great way to strengthen self-belief. It's kind of like when we were young and pledged to join the Young Pioneers. Maybe we don't remember the oath we took then, but we definitely remember certain fragments from that time. This is the meaning of the ritual.

It's so important to have a positive and confident attitude towards yourself. This is your way of responding to what has happened and starting to build your own resilience.

It's so important to remember that we can't control everything. Whether this incident was a coincidence, a misunderstanding, or the truth, what you can do is, apart from stating your position, pay more attention to preventing problems from arising, and extricate yourself from an embarrassing situation. Family is not something we can choose, especially when it comes to the relationship between adult siblings. It's so easy to delude ourselves into thinking that we can use our parents or family ties as a barrier, but we really can't. If it is really as you say, that the family has always valued boys over girls, and there is no concrete evidence at the moment, either gloss over it or turn the tables. You never know what might happen!

If you handled the situation at the time by "scaring the tiger by knocking on the mountain" in the group of three siblings, this is a great approach! You can think about sharing more similar cases in the group to deter others, but just make sure you never name names... After all, the incident didn't really happen. Give each other some space, but move out as soon as you can to avoid the situation you'd rather not have happen.

It's also worth noting that hormonal changes can sometimes lead to impulsive mistakes, especially for men. It's not always easy to vent or admit when we've made a mistake, especially when we're curious or ignorant. But, it's important to remember that we don't need to accommodate these mistakes. Our safety is always our top priority. If someone is truly maliciously trying to assault us, we need to take extra precautions. However, if things are calm, it's better to deal with the situation calmly, according to local conditions. We're all in the same boat. If you do need to call the police, it's best not to get caught up in the drama that follows. Focus on your safety and don't let the situation spiral out of control.

It's so important to remember that we can protect ourselves and make our future better, even when we're dealing with the mistakes of others.

You deserve to choose a way of life that suits you. If you don't have a choice at the moment, then work hard to create more options and put them into practice. You've got this!

Hello, question asker! My name is Evan.

From the questioner's description, it seems that the questioner's dislike of her brother may have developed as a result of his molestation. Additionally, the family's preference for boys over girls may have contributed to the sisters' decision to let the matter rest. How should this past event be addressed? Is the questioner also experiencing confusion, distress, and pain?

I would like to begin by offering the original poster some encouragement and support.

I can imagine that anyone who has been molested by a family member would be unsure of how to proceed. There is a great deal of information to take in, and it is distressing to learn that the questioner's brother was the perpetrator.

The unfortunate circumstances surrounding the brother's molestation and the family's subsequent focus on him have understandably led to feelings of insecurity among the questioner and her sister.

The family is expected to provide a sense of security and stability, yet the questioner feels uneasy and unsafe here. As an older brother, he is expected to offer protection and guidance, but instead he has caused harm. In this environment, the questioner may experience a profound sense of vulnerability and distrust, leading to feelings of suspicion towards others.

Could I ask why my brother committed indecent acts? I wonder if there was also repression of my brother in the original family?

How might the questioner best navigate such a complex family dynamic? How might we begin to disengage from the influence of our original family? Given the limitations of this platform, I can only offer suggestions based on the question that was posed.

1. It might be helpful to ask for support from others.

It might be helpful for the questioner to speak with their parents about the molestation by their brother, as they are not at home very often now. Regardless of their attitude, it is important for their parents to be aware of what has happened. While their parents may have a biased view, it is still valuable for them to know what has occurred.

2. It's important to remember that the OP is not at fault.

It is possible that your parents may blame you for what happened when they find out. It is important to remember that it is not your fault that your brother molested you, and that nothing you do can change that.

It is important to understand that if the questioner was molested by her brother, it was not her fault. It was not because of anything she did, wore, or said that caused her to be molested. There is no such thing as "you asked for it," and anyone who makes you think that is probably not giving you the full picture.

While it is certainly possible to take measures to avoid danger, it is important to recognize that ultimately, our actions cannot "cause" us to be molested.

It is possible that the brother molested the questioner because he had deviant thoughts in his mind and was spoiled by his parents. This excessive love may have made him challenge something, which could have resulted in him recklessly exposing his true nature to his younger relatives. It is also possible that the parents' education was not optimal, and this was passed on to them by their original family. When they formed a family, this may have also been passed on to the questioner's brother, but it has nothing to do with the questioner, and the questioner does not need to bear the blame for this.

It is not uncommon for boys to engage in indecent or sexual assault due to the influence of societal norms and the subsequent repression that can accompany the process of raising boys. This can potentially contribute to a proclivity for destructive emotions. Similarly, the tendency for men to engage in disrespectful or abusive behavior towards women may also stem from the same underlying factors.

If society as a whole were to commit to educating men to respect women and to work towards ending the long-term culture of objectification and discrimination against women, we could perhaps begin to see a change in these unfortunate circumstances.

3. It is important to remember that you should never stop living your life.

It is understandable that the questioner has been affected by the molestation by her brother, which has had an impact on her personal life and some interpersonal interactions. When the questioner is feeling low, it can be helpful to focus on doing things that make her feel good.

Consider making yourself happy, and perhaps enjoy something sweet. Sweet things can bring a sense of joy, and they can also make you feel happy. It is always important to make yourself happy in a way that is kind to others.

It's important to try to avoid letting negative emotions take over your life.

It might be helpful to consider seeking support from a variety of sources, such as the questioner's sister, the local women's federation, the local neighborhood committee or street office, or even the class teacher, teachers, and classmates. Having a larger number of people in the questioner's corner could potentially have a positive impact on the situation. It's possible that, with enough support, the questioner's brother may be more likely to refrain from further violence.

4. It might be helpful to seek professional assistance.

It is important to ensure that the questioner does not develop any negative feelings towards boys as a result of this experience. The impact of this experience on the questioner's body and mind could be significant, and it may even lead to the emergence of negative emotions such as depression and anxiety. It would be beneficial for the questioner to seek the guidance of a professional psychological counselor, who can help them learn to cope with their psychological challenges in a healthy manner. This will also contribute to the development of positive and healthy male-female relationships in the future.

It is possible that this experience may have a significant impact on the questioner. Should they require it, they can receive psychological treatment to slowly emerge from this shadow. Regardless of the circumstances, I am optimistic that tomorrow will be a better day. I encourage the questioner to find the strength to grow from within, and I believe that they will emerge from this experience unafraid and courageous.

It is my sincere hope that my answer will be of some help to the questioner.

Hello. I am the place of peace.

I can see how being in a patriarchal family, being harassed by your own brother, and being told to endure and not make a fuss has made you feel. I can feel your inner pain, sadness, grievance, anger, helplessness, and powerlessness. I feel for you and I want to give you a hug.

Given your upbringing, I believe you have had few opportunities to express your thoughts, moods, and feelings. Even if you did muster the courage to do so, you would not receive understanding or support from your parents.

You were confused, hesitant, and lacked the courage to tell your parents. You knew they wouldn't believe you because they spoil him so much and will definitely take his side. Is that what you think?

You've said that your time away from work shows you're an adult who can live independently of your parents and family.

You're leaving your job for now, but it's only temporary. You'll find a job if you're willing and believe in yourself.

You can be honest with your parents about the bad things you've experienced and the pain, anger, and powerlessness you feel. You're an independent person, and you have the right to express your emotions and defend your physical and mental health.

You need to express yourself. Even if your parents don't react the way you want, it will help to release all those pent-up emotions. I'm sure it will improve your mood.

As an independent person, I have the right to express all kinds of emotions and to defend my physical and mental health and safety from harm.

You are worthy of love, care, understanding, and support. You deserve to be treated with tenderness.

You need to stop thinking about hurting yourself and paying for other people's mistakes.

You have the courage to clearly express your attitude to your family. It may take a little time, but it will be worth it.

Take a deep breath and ask yourself, with sincerity, the question that lies at the core of your being.

"Why are you afraid to express yourself? What are you really afraid of?"

Speak up. You can handle it.

You are capable of protecting yourself. You are willing to change for your own sake.

"Do you believe in yourself?"

Don't rush to answer. Think carefully, explore deeply, and face the truth. When your inner strength grows stronger, the answer will appear.

You are your own savior. Believe in yourself, and you will succeed.

Read the book Fly Like an Ostrich to Your Mountain. It will help you because you are just as brave and willing to take on challenges.

You will soon be able to let go of the heavy burden inside you and soar like a bird to the mountain that belongs to you.

Good day, my name is Xiaolan, a family psychologist. You may also refer to me as Chenxi. I will analyze the situation using logical reasoning and provide suggestions.

After reviewing your description, my initial assessment is that there is no logical or rational reason to let go.

It is possible to hold strong negative feelings towards your brother, your parents, and the environment in which you live.

You are currently experiencing a significant deficit in emotional capital. You are unable to leverage love as a driver for progress, so if you remain unable to use hatred as a motivator, you will remain stuck in your current position.

There is no need to let go. You are entitled to hate as much as you like. You are also entitled to act on that hatred.

You will need to demonstrate a higher standard of living, greater autonomy, and a more confident demeanor.

You have the option of leaving the family and pursuing a career outside the home. By working hard and saving your money, you can eventually return home with the financial stability and influence to enact revenge.

Then, take the appropriate action to address the situation.

It is more probable that by the time you return them to your family, you will have already let go. You will find that they are actually quite ridiculous at that time.

Strong and intense emotions can assist in maintaining one's sense of self and challenging the status quo.

It enables you to flourish despite challenging circumstances.

What is required now is a place where emotions can be released, a place where strength can be enhanced, and a place where goals can be identified and the status quo can be challenged.

The fundamental reason for your unhappiness is a lack of self-love. However, you are often advised to let go of hatred and negative emotions. If you were to truly let go, what would your purpose in life be?

Should you require any advice or assistance, please do not hesitate to contact me. I wish you every success in your endeavours.

Hello, I'm reaching out to you today because I have a question.

From what you said, it seems like someone came into your room at night and you saw them, then they jumped out the window to escape. You thought it was your brother, but there was no proof. I can tell you're feeling scared, angry, and confused.

My view is that, regardless of whether the other person is a relative or not, we need to learn to protect ourselves because human nature is complex. Even if it is a relative, we can't guarantee that they won't do something inappropriate to us.

Many kids don't grow up healthy because of what they experience at home. Some parents molest their kids or harass them. They use the excuse that they're their own relatives to violate boundaries with their children. When the kids find out, they're told it's good behavior for a reason. But kids can't distinguish between right and wrong, so when they grow up, it has a big impact on their lives, relationships, and careers.

You've now discovered this person and this situation is timely. If you encounter this situation again, you must call the police in time. In addition, you must learn to set clear boundaries and not allow others to violate them. Even if it's a loved one, you must set boundaries. Therefore, when you're at home, don't wear too little clothing. When you're resting, close and lock the doors and windows. Don't allow others to enter your room. Have your own bottom line. Learn to say no and resist. Have an independent personality and cultivate an independent sense of self to grow up better and handle interpersonal relationships better.

I hope this helps.

I'm worried to see that your brother did this in your room. It's hard to understand. I don't know why you listened to music. I don't know what your childhood was like. Are you an adult? You said you left work.

If you're an adult, leave your family. Only then can you be safe. In a large family, you never know what will happen. If you spend a long time in your original family, you'll lose your ability to be independent.

You saw a man in your room. This shows you have unclear boundaries.

It's also a crime. If you think the police can help, you can report it. You knew it was him because you had all the details, and the other person was still trying to figure it out.

Maybe he doesn't want to have a bad reputation. He harassed his family. He also knows you're unemployed. He wants to help by taking care of the store. But will it have a future?

Will you get anything after working so long?

You will become depressed and traumatized. Find a job you like.

As an independent person, we need to know where we're going. There are some people we can't stand.

We also need to know where our limit is. You are unhappy and in a bad mood. You can make some changes to feel better.

That's not the other person's fault. You need a safer place to live.

Don't let others invade your personal space. Seek psychological counseling to discuss your problems and find answers. Don't keep things inside that make you feel overwhelmed. Let off steam.

Adjust your mindset and make adjustment plans. Read "Only by running your best will you know what you're capable of," "Starting over today," "Don't let life drain your beauty," and "Self-coherence: Looking inward in uncertain times." This will help you face future changes.

ZQ?

Hello, question asker!

You totally get how you'd feel if you woke up at night and found your brother in your room molesting you. You're so mad, and you hate these disgusting actions of his.

You are also very troubled and ready to break off contact with this person or your family.

Then you went to your sister to vent, and your sister told you not to tell your parents about it, which made you very angry, helpless, and indignant.

You are so strong for seeking help on this platform! It's been really brave of you to share your story. I admire your courage in getting through this difficult time.

If forgetting is a good way to deal with it, have you found something else to do to occupy your mind and distract you from it? You also need to protect yourself. At home, try to wear short-sleeved shirts and long trousers when you sleep. After all, there is a member of the opposite sex in the family, so you still need to protect yourself.

You did nothing wrong! Don't punish yourself for someone else's mistakes. It may be that he is mentally abnormal, or that he has problems with his values. After all, incest is forbidden in all families, and throughout the ages, men and women have been encouraged to behave differently. He must be mentally abnormal.

It really makes you angry when something like this happens to you. But if you stay away from him, you can focus on all the happy times instead!

Is it a specific day or event that makes you unable to let go, or is it a long-term torment that makes you unable to let go?

I'm here to help you share some of your unhappy emotions. What do you think would make you happy? Think about all the happy things you can do, like staying away from him, moving out, getting your own cat or dog, going for a run, listening to music, etc.

Some things may fade with time, but they'll leave a mark on us, and the irritation in your heart will not go away. But that's okay! It just means that you're stronger than you think.

But you are absolutely right! You can be yourself, find your own life, and find your own space. Letting go of anger is letting go of yourself, and it's the best thing you can do!

I really hope what I said can help you!

I love you, and the world loves you too! And you should love yourself! Don't sulk with yourself!

Hello!

I'm here for you. I've read your account and I'm sending you a big hug to bring you warmth and strength!

Your brother is harassing you. You told your sister, who told you to handle it yourself. You feel helpless.

Your parents favored sons over daughters, and you must have suffered a lot growing up. Hugs!

We can't choose our parents or our birth, but we can choose our lives. We'll meet good and bad people and things on our journey. We can't change others, only ourselves.

I understand you're confused and unhappy. Your brother is harassing you, and your parents are letting him. Your sister is trying to help, but you're disappointed and sad.

You said, "He has a bad temper behind the wheel, and I sometimes look forward to a car accident, where I get killed and my family gets compensation. Then I won't have any regrets..." That's not a good thought. There is still so much beauty in your life, and it's only just beginning!

Love yourself!

I want to chat with you.

Tell your parents about your brother's harassment. They need to know. It's also a reminder to parents that children grow up and that favoritism is not always okay. Let them know that even their children must be respected.

You should talk to your brother and tell him you know what he's doing but are letting him off the hook. You'd never let anyone else get away with it! You should also tell him that he still has to behave himself, even though his parents love him. There are still boundaries at home.

And say to yourself, we have some requirements too. Now that we live with our parents and siblings, we don't have our own space. We still need to have some restrictions and pay attention to how we dress. We should also close the door when we sleep. There is a "close brother" at home, and there are still many inconveniences. The "close brother" also has his own problems, so I won't talk about him here...

Your "close brother" harassed you. You felt uncomfortable, aggrieved, helpless, and like you had suffered a "dumb loss." But you are very brave. You came to the platform for help.

Let your emotions out! You've done a great job! I give you a thumbs-up.

I hope this helps!

I love you.