How can I adjust my state better for minor problems and annoyances?

Dear Question Asker,

From your description, it can be inferred that you are experiencing a certain degree of fatigue and a sense of being adrift. Is this an accurate assessment?

Additionally, you demonstrate a commendable degree of self-awareness. When confronted with discomfort, you are able to seek counsel and identify potential solutions. This is a commendable approach, and you are already on the path to change.

You have described how the holiday is over and how you feel that you did not have sufficient enjoyment. You then have to face a number of problems: firstly, you are in a long-distance relationship; secondly, commuting to work may not be particularly convenient; thirdly, you may have fallen out with a colleague at work, which makes you feel uncomfortable; fourthly, because you give money to your family, but there is a disagreement with your grandmother about the amount, which makes you feel somewhat adrift; fifthly, you paid for your boyfriend's birthday expenses, you gave him a red envelope, but he did not accept it. After you helped him finish collecting them, he did not show any joy, which made you feel very adrift. Is that an accurate representation of your circumstances?

In addition, your description suggests that you are a positive individual who is consistently striving for personal growth and development. You also appear to be proactively managing your emotions, which represents a significant potential resource and driving force for change. Do you concur with this assessment?

In the event of a miracle, what would be the state of your life? What actions have you taken to facilitate this outcome?

What will be the consequences of this transformation? Who will be aware of this change?

In light of the aforementioned description, it is this author's intention to proffer a series of suggestions designed to assist the reader in overcoming the aforementioned obstacles and achieving a state of carefree living.

First, one must adjust one's state of mind in a timely manner.

It is inevitable that confusion will arise in one's life, whether in the context of work, familial relationships, or romantic partnerships. Based on your description, it is evident that you have a well-defined plan for self-care and are able to seek assistance from the teacher on this platform when faced with challenges. This is a commendable approach. However, it is also important to understand how to respond to feelings of discomfort. One effective method is to close your eyes and take a deep breath, which can help to calm your mind and body. This technique may be beneficial for you to try.

Secondly, it would be beneficial to engage in self-affection.

From your description, it is evident that you possess a positive attitude and have consistently striven to enhance and refine your personal growth. You have exerted considerable effort, and you have also demonstrated selflessness. However, despite these commendable qualities, there have been instances where missteps have hindered the realization of an optimal state, leading to feelings of exhaustion and disappointment. In such moments, it is crucial to offer yourself a gesture of affirmation and convey your genuine appreciation for your efforts. This act of self-compassion can serve as a powerful tool for emotional regulation and the promotion of resilience. By consistently reinforcing your positive attributes and achievements, you can foster a sense of self-worth and confidence, which in turn can contribute to a more constructive outlook and a greater sense of well-being.

It is also advisable to learn to release negative emotions.

Although one can sometimes face problems in a positive manner and continue to seek a resolution, prolonged periods of effort may eventually result in fatigue. When experiencing this fatigue, it is important to release the associated negative emotions in order to achieve a state of calm and facilitate the processing of these emotions in a constructive manner.

One may choose to communicate with a psychological counselor or to vent these negative emotions through physical activity. During exercise, the brain secretes dopamine, which produces a sense of pleasure and can relieve negative emotions.

It is also important to develop effective communication skills.

It is evident that you have performed your duties in an exemplary manner. However, it is inevitable that some degree of friction will persist in life. To illustrate, there is the matter of communication with your grandmother. We believe that a sum of 50,000 yuan should be provided to her, whereas she maintains that only 30,000 yuan is sufficient. At this juncture, it is possible to monitor the accounts in the future, given that the elderly tend to possess a different perspective. It is not that they are persistently requesting items from us, as if they were genuinely entitled to them, we would be unlikely to acquiesce. In the future, it would be prudent to record the amount of money and the time, and present this to your grandmother when the appropriate moment arises.

It is not uncommon for individuals to experience disagreements with colleagues. One example is the ability to bite one's lower lip with one's upper lip. In the event of a misunderstanding, it is possible to take the initiative to speak up. However, if the disagreement is irreconcilable, it may be necessary to pursue alternative avenues. The truth will eventually become evident.

In regard to the relationship with your boyfriend, it is this writer's recommendation that you cultivate a more coquettish demeanor. It is not sufficient to merely offer your affections; you must also communicate your inner needs and feelings of discomfort. This approach will allow you to ascertain whether your boyfriend is willing to address these issues and make the necessary corrections, which would facilitate the continuation of your relationship. However, if he persists in ignoring your feelings, you may wish to consider alternative options.

In conclusion, it is important to note that you possess a wealth of internal resources and resilience. These challenging emotions are transient and, with time and open communication, will dissipate. You have the capacity to navigate this situation and should maintain a sense of self-efficacy. Best wishes for a positive outcome.