How can I, who am in a midlife crisis, face life with equanimity?

Hello, my dear landlord! I'm 47 years old.

I've been there! I've changed jobs five times since I started working at 20. Each time for different reasons.

I totally get it. I applied for the next job on my own initiative, so I understand perfectly that you are very anxious about leaving your job.

I also changed jobs under various pressures. Some of the jobs were left reluctantly because the company was dissolved, and some were resigned because they were really too far away from home.

I know that changing jobs isn't ideal, but I'm sure it'll be for a good reason! I truly believe that for every door that closes, a window opens.

Quitting a job is not necessarily a bad thing, my friend. You may encounter different life experiences, different people, and different environments in your next workplace. Believe in your abilities. It is only a matter of time before you find your next job.

In this gap, you can also think about what kind of work suits you. We try to choose a job that matches our interests and hobbies and that pays well.

For example, I also looked for my interests in each job change. Everyone has their own unique qualities, and that's a beautiful thing! You can find out about your eight intelligences and identify your expertise. Life is a journey that needs different scenery, and this may be a turning point in your career.

Take some time for yourself and think about what kind of work you really want. I truly believe that you will find the perfect career for you in the future!

Hello!

You lost your job in the year of the rat. Your children are young, and now you rely on your husband's work. You feel anxious and worried.

You and your husband used to work together to support the family. Now, only your husband works, and you think he doesn't know what it's like to face the burden of the family directly.

You used to worry a lot and take on too much.

Your situation is related to your age and the economy. Many people have lost their jobs, are in debt, and are struggling.

Life is not always smooth sailing. There are many things that can affect us, like the economy, getting older, and changes in health.

We can adjust our mentality by realizing that life is not always easy and that this can cause stress. Thinking this way may help you cope.

Anxiety and worry can push us to find solutions for our family's finances, safety, harmony, or happiness.

Staying home with the kids can bring you closer, provide good companionship, and foster a good parent-child relationship.

When you're not working and your husband is the breadwinner, it gives him a chance to exercise, develop his abilities, and grow.

Use this time to develop your hobbies or learn a new skill. Update your knowledge and improve your abilities.

Hello, It's true that when you're facing multiple difficulties, such as a midlife crisis, unemployment, and family pressures, it can make you feel anxious and uneasy. Here are some suggestions to help you face life calmly:

It's important to accept reality and adjust your mindset. We all face ups and downs and challenges in life, and that's just part of life. Accept the current situation and try to adjust your mindset to face problems with a more positive and optimistic attitude.

It's good to get support. Talk to your family, friends, or professionals about how you're feeling and what you're worried about. They might be able to offer you different perspectives and solutions to help you relieve anxiety and stress.

Set plans and goals: Set yourself some realistic plans and goals to help you focus your job search. You can start by updating your CV, looking for job opportunities, and improving your skills to gradually advance your career.

It's important to find a good balance between family and work when you're looking for a job. Make sure you have enough time to spend with your kids, but also focus on your own career development.

You might want to look for some flexible work options to help you balance family and work.

It's important to learn to relax and regulate your emotions when you're feeling stressed or anxious. Try some relaxation techniques like deep breathing, meditation, or yoga to relieve tension.

At the same time, try to stay positive and believe that you can get through the difficult times.

It's also a good idea to encourage your husband to get involved in family matters. Talk to him about how you're feeling and let him know how he can help.

This will not only lighten your load, but also strengthen the bond between you and your husband.

It's important to take care of your health when you're going through a midlife crisis. Making sure you get enough rest, work out regularly, eat right, and manage your stress is key to staying fit and stress-resistant.

Above all, keep your confidence and hope up. Believe in your abilities and value, and believe that better opportunities and challenges await you in the future.

At the same time, make the most of your relationships and spend this challenging period with your family.

Hello! I'm thrilled to be able to answer your question. I hope my suggestions will be helpful to you!

I have some great suggestions for you! They're tailored to your current situation, career events, and financial situation. I know it might sound like empty words right now, but it's really important to pay attention to our emotional state and seek assistance from professionals to regulate our emotions if necessary.

The good news is that this is not a problem that will lead to illness in our current situation. So, there is no need to worry excessively or be anxious. We should not put too much pressure on ourselves. We all have emotions, and emotions fluctuate. Sometimes the peaks of these fluctuations can be very high, and sometimes they can be very low. Both extremes are unhealthy. But there is a solution! At times like these, we can seek the assistance of professionals to regulate our emotions so that they fluctuate within a normal range.

If we can relieve this fluctuation through venting to friends or sorting it out ourselves, then that would be the best situation! We really don't need the assistance of a professional yet. But if we do get involved, we can do it! If we are worried about financial considerations during this process, we can call the national psychological hotline or look for some online or public psychological assistance, which can also help us!

Now, let's dive into the second topic: career direction!

Fortunately, there are still some career options that are slightly more friendly to women. Teaching and other occupations that are in greater demand among women are great examples. In these careers, women have the potential to enjoy a relatively high degree of freedom.

For example, I've had the privilege of experiencing two incredible careers: music teaching and psychological counseling. In both of these industries, I've been thrilled to see a significant number of women at the helm. There's even a notable imbalance in the male-to-female ratio, with only a few men in the mix. Except for large conferences with hundreds of people, the ratio is also particularly rare, which I find fascinating.

In such an industry, it is relatively more friendly to women, which is great! From top to bottom, including my former boss, they are all women, so they all know a lot about women's personal development and what they are bound to experience. These things should not be used to block our career development, so the requirements will not be so perverted, for example, not being able to get married and have children, or not being able to have a second or third child, or being fired when you reach a certain age. Instead, there will be a lot of tolerance, at least in these few things, which is fantastic!

Absolutely! We can use our vocational skills to target our job search, and it'll be a great source of inspiration along the way.

The great thing is, if we don't have the skills for the job we're applying for, we can use our time wisely and gain the skills we need! Even if it's just for a few years, we can still improve our skills. And it's a great way to earn money, whether we're looking for a full-time or part-time job!

And finally, the part about getting along with your spouse focuses on the personalities of the two of you, which may be quite different.

One will look at the development of a family or the financial expenses from a longer-term perspective, which is a great way to stay on top of things!

The other will be thrilled to focus on the present and feel that, in fact, life is going pretty well!

This may be a clash of personalities and ideas between the two of you, which is totally normal! It's bound to lead to conflict or mutual disadvantages, but we can work through it together. Let's not let this become an emotional issue and then discuss these things. At the same time, we must not hurt feelings during the discussion. When the two of you may get excited, you can pause. Because the discussion of this topic cannot be resolved in a day or two, we should not rush to solve it in a day or two, but communicate smoothly.

The current situation is actually a great chance for the husband to grasp how extreme price swings really are. He'll also see how salaries have remained pretty stagnant, which could make it tough for us to make ends meet.

This is a great way to remind your husband that your career development and advancement is also something that should be considered from a family perspective.

If this matter needs to teach the husband a lesson, it will inevitably affect the operation of the whole family. So let's show him how we can overcome some of the financial difficulties we may encounter in the future or at this stage by keeping track of our finances!

For example, he can be shown a comparison. In the past, there was no such feeling in the daily life of the family because both people were earning money, so just enough money was earned to cover expenses.

But if only one person is earning money now, there may be some imbalance. So give him the bills and roughly calculate it. He may also be able to realize, or at least be forewarned, that this may be the case in the near future. At the same time, it will let him know that his wife is not being unreasonable. Discussing issues related to family finances with him is not a way to belittle him, but simply a realistic problem that you can work together to solve!

Once you've had a chance to chat about it together, you can get together and discuss how to make adjustments!

This is something the whole family can do together! It's a great opportunity for the husband and wife to discuss it together. But don't worry if you can't do it with your partner – you can still make this change on your own. It's all about your own career development or life development.

We can definitely sort ourselves out! It all comes back to the question of which direction of work is mentioned above, or which direction of work is relatively more friendly to women? At the same time, we should also learn about the skills required. Of course, these fields are not just the ones I mentioned above, such as teaching or psychology. In fact, there are many other industries that should also have this kind of gender ratio difference, but we may not have touched on them yet. We can look them up online or learn about them from multiple perspectives.

I really hope that through self-examination or continuous searching, you can find a job direction that suits you perfectly and solve the family's financial problems!

I love the world and I love you!

Dear questioner, I am Xin Xinran 1314, and I will answer your question!

From your question, I can see that you have just lost your job, and you are worried and powerless about not being able to find a job in the future. You feel helpless about the discrimination against working women in society, and you are anxious and feel guilty about having to rely on your husband for the family income in the future. These real problems make you unable to sleep or eat. You are really not easy, but you will get through this. I'm here to support you.

I want to tell you that all the unemployed and those facing unemployment are just like you. They are full of worries about the status quo and anxiety about the future. Your current emotions are normal, and you are not alone.

First, discover your existing resources:

1. You have a contented, cheerful, and responsible husband. After you lost your job, your husband didn't blame or complain, but calmly accepted it. You even think he is blindly confident. Not many men are like this. You have a trustworthy partner.

2. You and your husband have a good relationship. Over the years, you have shared family responsibilities and have a lovely child. Your home is a happy haven.

3. You are 36 years old this year. You have the time and energy to learn and start a business again.

Let's look at the solutions to this current predicament.

1. Use your feminine advantages and do the small things you are good at. Forget what society says. Women are working in all walks of life, and you can do it too.

Turn your disadvantage into an advantage. Find a job that suits women, such as office clerk, window staff, or domestic service worker. Combine your personal interests. If you like cleaning, apply for a domestic worker.

If you like flowers and plants, sell them! Online shops are convenient, and you can set up a shop at home and trade online. Don't have excessive expectations. Start small. You may not make a lot of money at first, but with time and experience, you can earn an ideal income.

2. Unleash your potential, master a skill you love, and elevate your self-worth.

Find the skills you like and are good at, and use this time to learn them. It is rare for a person to have a period of time in their life that is completely their own, so seize this opportunity to improve yourself!

3. Communicate with your husband seriously and find a solution together.

Tell your husband your worries and anxieties. Let him know you want to share the family responsibilities, that you feel sorry for him having to earn the money to support the family alone, and what you are most worried and afraid of at the moment. Your husband's understanding and love for you will increase your confidence and sense of security in getting through the difficult times together!

I'm going to give you my suggestions, and I hope they're helpful. I love the world, and I love you.

Good day, question asker. My name is Jiang 61.

Firstly, I would like to thank you for placing your trust in us and for being willing to share your concerns in order to obtain solutions. Your main concern is how to maintain a sense of calm during a midlife crisis.

"After reviewing your background and understanding your circumstances, I empathize with your situation and believe we can address it effectively through discussion.

1. Introduction

1. Unemployment

You stated, "I'm in my year of the rat, I've lost my job, and I have a young child. This society is not conducive to the success of working women, and when I consider my future career prospects, I feel that hope is fading."

From your account, I can discern your anxiety and sadness. It is unfortunate that you have lost your job in the year of your birth, are unable to see a bright future, and have a young child.

2. Concerns

You stated that the financial burden is solely on your husband. He is a contented individual who is content with a modest lifestyle. At times, you feel that he is overly confident and unaware of the challenges that life presents. Previously, you and your husband shared the responsibility, yet he has not had the chance to confront these issues directly. Currently, your concerns about the future are causing you some restlessness and disrupting your eating and sleeping patterns.

I am writing to express my concerns.

Your concerns can be classified into two categories. The first is the financial burden, which was previously shared between two individuals but is now solely the responsibility of your husband. This shift has led to concerns about the family's financial stability.

The second concern pertains to your perception of your husband. You believe that his contented lifestyle in poverty will motivate you to enhance your own skills and improve the family's financial standing. Consequently, you are concerned that your income may be insufficient to cover your expenses.

Furthermore, stress is a significant concern.

As a result of these concerns and the inability to take action to address them, you are experiencing anxiety, worry, and stress, which are preventing you from sleeping or eating in a peaceful manner.

2. Sources of Anxiety

1. Fear of the unknown

The unknown is a source of concern.

Fear of the unknown, that is to say fear of things that are unknown, is a common psychological phenomenon. This fear usually stems from a sense of uncertainty, unpredictability, and uncontrollability about unknown things.

Anxiety is the result of a number of factors.

Anxiety is an emotional state that often arises from excessive worry about the uncertainty of the future. The questioner is concerned about her ability to secure employment, the potential impact on the economy, and her husband's level of effort, which has led to feelings of anxiety.

This is the fear of the unknown.

Secondly, there is a tendency to adopt a fixed mindset.

Fixed mindset

Fixed thinking is a belief system that people's intelligence, skills, or talents are predetermined and cannot be changed after birth. This way of thinking can cause people to focus excessively on results and past experiences, and neglect the importance of hard work and learning.

?? Suffering

Based on her personal experience, the questioner believes that it is challenging to secure employment in the current job market. Additionally, her husband is content with a modest income. Consequently, she has placed undue pressure on herself, resulting in anxiety and distress.

It fails to consider the potential for circumstances to influence change and the possibility that emerging industries may offer new employment opportunities for women.

3. The pressure of reality

The necessity of supporting oneself financially through income generated from employment is an objective fact of life. It would appear that the questioner is responsible for the family's financial management and is aware that even the most capable homemaker cannot cook without rice. Consequently, when faced with this reality, pressure will arise.

3. Recommendations

1. The sharing of pressure

The concept of pressure sharing is a useful tool for managing stress and anxiety.

The questioner is primarily focused on their own concerns and may not be equipped to address the underlying issue. It is essential to learn to decompress pressure. This involves delegating some of the responsibility to one's spouse, thereby alleviating the burden on oneself.

It is not necessary to shoulder this burden alone.

Be transparent and forthcoming with information.

It is possible to inform one's husband of the truth regarding concerns, the present living and economic situation of the family, thus enabling him to comprehend the difficulties and responsibilities involved.

2. To bestow expectations

It is important to have expectations.

An expectation is defined as a desire for an unknown future outcome. Expectations may include hopes, desires, and positive expectations.

Expectations are often closely linked to people's positive outlook on life and their aspirations. For loved ones, it is a sense of hope and confidence.

Set clear expectations for him.

Your husband is not someone who is satisfied with small gains. He should be someone with clear goals and ambitions, someone with a sense of responsibility. Otherwise, you would not have formed a partnership.

Outline your concerns and the current situation facing the family, and set out your expectations. Make it clear that the future of the children and the improvement of family life now depends on him. This should prompt him to take responsibility and make the necessary changes, take on the family's responsibilities, and meet your needs and those of the family.

3. Re-division of labor

The re-division of labor is a key aspect of this strategy.

Given our current financial dependence on our husbands, we have the option of re-dividing household chores between them. This would entail the man taking on responsibilities outside the home and the woman assuming responsibility for domestic tasks.

Provide logistical support.

We excel at providing our husbands with the support and logistics they need to focus on their work without distraction. We are committed to enhancing our own lives through this partnership.

Trust is a crucial element in any relationship. By placing trust in your husband, you are conveying to him that you respect and value him. This enhances his sense of self-worth and motivates him to work hard for the trust and love you have shown him.

I would like to take this opportunity to wish the original poster a happy life!

Hi, I'm happy to answer your question and hope that what I share will be helpful to you.

From what you've said, it seems like I'm a bit like looking in a mirror. I'm sharing some of what I've seen and experienced in this process with you, and also with myself, grateful for the insight.

Dear colleagues,

Maybe we've all faced challenges in life, or even felt like we're just going with the flow. It can feel like life is a track designed by others, and we're just along for the ride with no other choice. Is that how it seems to you?

One day, whether we're career elites or housewives, we all start to feel like something's wrong. We become worried, anxious, and depressed. All kinds of bad feelings come one after the other.

I heard that this is a sign of awakening, a reminder to everyone who doesn't respect themselves and doesn't believe in themselves: it's time to live a beautiful life.

So, we start to believe that we can defy fate. We start to accept our current situation. We start to take small steps. We start to surrender to time, not anxious for results, allowing things to happen one step at a time.

From eating, sleeping, growing, and basking in the sun like a green plant, not thinking about anything.

To become more like animals again, accepting our desires, facing our needs, and so on.

And then we become children again, curious, enthusiastic, and courageous about the world.

This process of constantly removing masks and returning to the real, healthy, and vibrant self is the beginning of a lifelong romantic life.

So, at this point, do you find that your own experiences are reminding you of something? For example, about your own strengths, about the differences between you and your partner that attract you and the similarities that make you grow, about a clear direction for the future, about clear actions in the present...

You've got the best script and the best director right there with you. Let's encourage each other, the world, and each other!

Hello! I'm Li Di☀, and I'm thrilled to have connected with you.

You are in your forties, unemployed, have young children, and a husband who is content with a modest lifestyle. You can feel the pressure on you right now, but you're up for the challenge! Society may not be very friendly to working women, but you're going to show them what you're made of. Your husband seems to think differently than you, but you know you can find a way to work it out. You don't feel like your family is going to be able to face the situation that lies ahead, but you know you'll get through it together. You are worried and anxious, but you're also excited for what the future holds. You want to find some support and understanding, and you know you'll find it.

Let's dive deep together and explore the fascinating psychological mechanisms behind your feelings and needs. This will help you better understand and accept yourself, and it'll be a fun journey!

From your description, I can feel the dilemma and inner struggle you are currently facing. Unemployment not only brings financial pressure, but also gives you the chance to rethink your identity and self-worth, especially at a special time like your birth year. This is an opportunity to grow!

You mentioned concerns about the future, which stem from a sense of responsibility for your family and concern for your children's development, and also reflect your confidence in your own abilities. Your unease and anxiety are understandable, and they're also totally normal! It's a natural emotional reaction to your current situation.

You mention that your husband is a contented person, which probably means that he has a different attitude and approach to difficulties, in contrast to you. You probably long for more understanding and support, or even empathy.

You fear that his optimism may be blind, which makes you feel lonely because you feel you can't share this burden with him. But you also hope that he will recognize the real challenges in life so that you can find solutions together!

In these situations, your needs may include:

It would be so great if someone could really understand the pressures and challenges you are facing!

Support: You want your family, especially your husband, to be there for you and to be involved in problem-solving.

You want to feel secure, and you can! You can reduce your fear of the future and gain a sense of stability and security.

Having a sense of control is a great way to reduce uncertainty and feelings of powerlessness. It's so satisfying to be in charge of setting plans and goals!

In the face of these current circumstances, let's try the following approaches!

Communication: Find an appropriate moment to express your feelings and needs to your husband in a non-accusatory way. Tell him your concerns and how you would like him to get involved.

Share decisions! It's a great idea to involve him in family planning, let him know your concerns, and discuss possible solutions together. This can really help you face difficulties together!

Seek support! You've got this! Apart from your partner, you can also seek support from friends and family, and even consider joining support groups to interact with others experiencing similar challenges.

Self-care is a must! Make sure you set aside time for yourself and do activities that help you relax and recharge. This is essential for maintaining mental health, and it's also a great way to treat yourself!

Professional help: If you feel you can't cope on your own, consider seeking help from a counselor, who can provide you with more specific strategies and methods. This is a great way to get the support you need to move forward!

It is also important to take care of yourself during this process. Make sure you give yourself some time and space to do things that relax you, such as reading, exercising, or other hobbies. These activities can help relieve stress and help you feel great!

And don't forget to keep in touch with your friends and family! They're there for you and their support is invaluable.

I really hope my answer is helpful! I love you all so much! *^O^*

The question is well-formulated.

My name is Kelly Shui.

How can I, in the midst of a midlife crisis, maintain a calm outlook on life?

After reviewing your correspondence, I understand your sense of responsibility towards your family and the challenges you face in this environment.

Let's proceed with the discussion.

[Crisis and opportunity]

You previously indicated that you lost your job during the year of your birth and that you have young children.

If we are not yet fully prepared, it can be a challenging time. It may be helpful to focus on the resources and support we currently have.

Despite the challenges that come with marriage, unemployment, and the responsibilities of raising children, there are also opportunities. For instance, there is the stability of a home and the potential to access resources in the community.

The most important factors are your abilities, awareness, personal growth, and your ability to adapt and think critically when faced with challenges.

A change in workplace may also present new opportunities. Evaluate your strengths and consider which, if any, you have not yet utilized.

If you are not concerned about future income, what will you do?

The postpartum period presented significant challenges for me. We had a mortgage, a newborn to care for, and no elderly family members to provide assistance.

I then considered the significant responsibility of raising a child. Even with the option of hiring a nanny, I realized that the cost of childcare could be a significant financial burden. I decided that it was more beneficial to me and my family to raise the child myself, with the peace of mind that comes with knowing I am providing the best care for my child.

Once I had made my decisions, I began my studies at home. These included healthy eating and living, the changes in my children at different stages, my own personal growth, and the retention of some of my hobbies.

I still miss that period of my life. I gained valuable insights and forged connections with numerous neighbours who could provide mutual assistance.

After my child turned three, I also used the time at home to switch career paths and obtain my accounting qualification, which helped me adapt to the postpartum state (due to my previous resignation).

I subsequently learned that we all have potential and that we can explore a wider range of options when selecting a career path.

Given the additional time you may have available, I encourage you to consider taking a "mini vacation" to treat yourself. This is an opportunity to allow everything to happen, take care of yourself and your family first, and trust yourself and your family. I believe this approach will help you navigate this period smoothly.

[Regarding anxiety]

It is not uncommon for one member of a family to experience anxiety. You have rightly identified that society is not always supportive of working women, and these issues are indeed prevalent.

While some circumstances may be beyond our control, we can gradually adjust to them.

It has become evident that the financial burden on the family has been borne solely by your husband. Concurrently, he exemplifies the admirable qualities of contentment with a simple life and the belief that contentment is a form of happiness.

It is possible that these are the very qualities you admire in him.

This brings to mind the example of Su Shi, who was consistently content and happy regardless of circumstances, viewing this as a gift from life.

In comparison to individuals who are materialistic and content with a life of poverty, those who are content with a life of poverty actually inspire respect.

A family unit provides an opportunity for mutual recognition and appreciation, facilitating the acquisition of new skills and challenges. As a confidant, you have the unique ability to understand and support him, and to observe his blind confidence. It is possible that in the past he was unaware of the challenges of life, but now has the opportunity to learn from your shared experiences.

It would be beneficial to find an opportunity to thank him properly, provide positive reinforcement for his recent efforts, and inquire about his thoughts on the current situation.

A family is built on love and faith, and parents have responsibilities. Despite not having faced the current situation together in the past, what are some of the different experiences you have had in your current situation?

You may also appreciate the support of your husband while you consider your options and make any necessary adjustments based on your family circumstances.

It is inevitable that we will experience setbacks, but we will undoubtedly gain valuable insights and experience from these challenges.

It is not uncommon to have concerns about the future. If you are feeling uneasy, it may be helpful to speak with a professional counselor or learn techniques to redirect your attention.

It is important to avoid allowing yourself to remain in this situation. While it is natural to experience concerns, it is essential to ensure that these do not hinder your ability to take control of your life.

I would like to take this opportunity to extend my personal regards to you and to express my admiration for your work.

I would like to suggest the following books for your consideration: "Freedom in the Face of Difficulties," "The World is Worth Living," and "Growing Up at Ease."

Dear Questioner, Be grateful for the present!

Your description shows you are anxious and worried about the future. You also don't understand your partner's actions. Hugs!

Let's talk.

1. Recognize your anxiety.

You're anxious because you're unemployed and your kids are young.

You're unsure about your future work options. Your husband seems to have no clear plan. His actions make you feel insecure.

You've been worrying about your past and your future, and he hasn't helped. This makes you worry more about being unemployed.

Write down your worries and try to find solutions. As you do this, you will feel more secure and less anxious.

2. Tell your partner how you feel.

In a marriage, if you're the only one thinking about things, you'll feel overwhelmed and anxious. If you talk to your partner, you'll feel less alone and more able to work together to find a solution.

Tell your partner about your worries and anxieties about the future. Listen to what he says. You might find out that he has plans for the future. If he doesn't, you can help him make some.

If he still has no plans for the future, you can try acting cute and saying you need his help.

Give him more responsibilities and let him make more decisions. You should support and encourage him.

Let him help with family chores so he can learn to take responsibility.

3. Plan for yourself.

You need to be stable, even if your partner is not. Plan for your future, not just for your family. Think about who you want to become, what you need to do, and how you will do it.

What kind of position do you want in the future? What else do you need to get it?

Take care of yourself too. Plan time for your own growth. Your career and fitness are part of your life. Pay attention to yourself.

Don't lose yourself in your family. Your anxiety will go away. You'll be more sure of your future, and you'll have more motivation to act.

I hope this helps. Good luck!