How can low self-esteem caused by family and scars be improved?

Improve your sense of worthiness by trying these methods.

(1) Stop obsessing and work hard to accomplish it.

People with a low sense of entitlement want something but feel they don't deserve it. They worry about whether they will get it or not. They are wrong.

Stop obsessing and tell yourself that completion is more important than perfection.

Immerse yourself in every moment of the present and cherish every opportunity in front of you.

You will gain confidence and self-assurance as you achieve small goals again and again.

You will discover that if you work hard, you deserve everything you really want.

(2) Practice deliberately and see yourself as you will.

Host He Jiong once said,

You must see the sparkle in yourself. The world can try to bring you down, but you can't let them.

You should be proud of even the smallest sparkle.

For example, we can and will believe that we are highly capable and can complete our work with high quality and quantity.

You must be empathetic. You must be able to understand and treat others well.

I keep my promises and I don't break them to others.

Record these things. You will see your sparkling selves.

(3) Psychological suggestion, recognizing ourselves

As the saying goes:

Believe it. You will see it.

We can and should give ourselves positive mental suggestions.

When your leader praises you, remind yourself that you worked hard for it.

You can handle any challenge that comes your way.

You are worthy of love. When you encounter a suitor with very good conditions, tell yourself that.

When others give you a chance, believe in their belief and tell yourself, "I can do it."

You are worthy. Meet a better version of yourself.

Greetings, friend!

It's quite remarkable, isn't it? I also have a scar from surgery.

When I was almost four years old, I had a heart surgery. Medical technology was still developing 25 years ago, and even in Beijing, where the medical level was the highest, it was only possible to perform the surgery under the ribs instead of opening the chest.

I have a scar that is nearly 20 centimeters long.

In addition to the scar under my ribcage, I also have two more scars on my neck. At the time, medical technology was limited, and the doctor had to cut open my neck to insert a tracheal tube.

I am truly grateful for the scar on my body because it gave me a second chance at life. It is also a reminder that I have the courage to face challenges and fight against fate.

I hope you will also consider carrying this medal engraved on your body and continuing to forge ahead on the path of life.

You also mentioned that your family was not well-off and that you felt inferior since childhood.

It could be said that we Chinese have a certain ingrained mentality.

It is human nature to compare ourselves to others.

From an early age, we tend to compare ourselves to others. Zhang San's child can recite ten classical poems at the age of two, Li Si's child can do addition and subtraction up to 50 at the age of five, and Wang Er's child passed the tenth grade piano exam at the age of eight.

I believe that we can all agree that every family has its own unique set of circumstances and challenges.

Similarly, we are influenced by our surroundings and have learned to compare ourselves with others in other ways, including comparing family backgrounds.

It would seem that the Chinese also have a tendency to compare their disadvantages with other people's advantages.

It's possible that you may feel that your family is not as well off as others.

It is possible that others may not be as good as you think.

I once heard a story about a place where it was stipulated that children of martyrs would get 10 extra points in the entrance exam. It seems that a girl benefited from this policy.

After the results of the college entrance exam came out, other students expressed their envy, stating that without the additional ten points, this girl would not have been able to gain admission to such a prestigious institution. The girl became distraught and inquired of her classmates, "I no longer desire my current academic standing. I am willing to relinquish the ten points in exchange for the return of my father."

It is important to remember that every family faces its own unique challenges.

It's possible that you may feel your family is less fortunate than others, but it's also possible that there are people who envy you because they have the means to get surgery when they are sick.

We are all ordinary people, after all.

It is possible that this life may pass by uneventfully.

I believe that life is about finding contentment with what you have, rather than comparing yourself with others.

Perhaps it would be beneficial to avoid dwelling on shortcomings and comparing oneself to others' strengths.

It is my hope that you may find as much happiness as possible within your limited circumstances.

I would like to express my love for the world and for you.

I truly believe that you can feel worthy of yourself, even if you come from a toxic family background or have experienced traumatic reactions! This isn't about forcing positivity, it's about embracing who you are and allowing yourself to shine!

I'm not one to share, but I'm excited to tell you about my background! I came from a good family and I was good-looking. I was in the right place at the right time with the right people, and I was subjected to some pretty harsh comments. I was called "only relying on looks," "bringing bad influence on good students," "slow reaction means laziness," and "afraid of not speaking means evading." I was bullied by children for a long time under the discrimination of the primary school teacher. I was down on myself, and campus violence probably lasted for two or three years. After leaving a scar in gym class, the little boy would rush in front of me and say, "You're ugly, you're disfigured."

After being bullied at school, the teacher saw the truth and helped me see it too. He told me to ignore the bully and I was so grateful for his words. In a corridor where I was being punished, in front of the whole class, he said, "You deserve to be scolded and beaten."

I, who love face-saving so much, burst into tears. Add to that my academic performance, my artistic talent that was not understood, and my long-term inferiority complex that continued to develop into severe depression. Even the uncle at the mental hospital said, "What a good-looking and decent little girl." I had heard similar things many times, but I really didn't feel it. By the time I was understood, I had already been sitting on the rooftop for a long time, with many wounds from the scars of my injuries. Even the idea of "the worst is over and things will get better" seemed powerless to me, because this sense of powerlessness was that no matter how hard I tried and how good I was, as long as I was of no value to the outside world, I was worthless.

I've seen lots of people give seemingly positive answers that avoid a fatal question: "I just have to be better, which means I will gain more value and love." So I made a decision. In my new circle of friends, I accept all praise, but when faced with negative comments about my legs or some of my studies, I choose to be extremely honest. When a classmate said in front of the whole class that I had not handled class affairs well, I simply stood up and apologized to the teacher in a good manner. By retreating, I was able to advance, and the teacher praised me for being responsible.

I'm thrilled to share that I've experienced self-redemption and an incredible surge of energy that transcends dimensions! I want to encourage you not to view your value through worldly eyes. To me, we're one soul, a life brimming with purity, positivity, and sunshine — just like flowers and plants yearning for the sun! Regarding value and how to act in a concrete way, I'll leave it up to you to decide. You have the power to choose! I'm here to support you in your journey, not to tell you that scars are beautiful or that your original family is a springboard for experience.

Even if the scars are not pretty and the family of origin is not supportive, you are also a great and sacred being! You are willing to face all the facts that are beneficial to yourself in order to complete the path of life. I suddenly want to hold you, just to walk with you! I want to walk side by side with you, not carry you on my back or hold you in my arms.

I want you to remember the way you first came into this world. I want you to remember how you flew and ran as a little one, free and wild. I want you to remember the way your legs have gone to all the labels. We are forever equal partners, where there is no fear or tension, no masks of confidence and sunshine. I don't want you to be good because it makes me happy, but because being good can make you happier!

I really hope you are happy! Because only if you are happy will you always have the ability to create value. And in the moment I saw you, in the moment I suddenly fell in love with a few words, I felt that inferiority is a thinking mode that comes with being a great philosopher, that unworthiness is the independence of a skeptic, and that a poor family background is a fatal opportunity for an individual. And on top of this cute little soul's home, a pattern is engraved.

In this internet age, where advice is everywhere and values are defined in a myriad of ways, people will always disagree. This is a great thing! It means you get to decide what's right for you. I'm afraid you'll get hurt, and I'm afraid that someone who doesn't love you will hurt you in the name of love...using their definition of value to hurt you. To be honest, do they really care if you have value or not? I just think they haven't sucked enough blood from you. I'm excited to see what you do next!

I am delighted to offer you the most precious energy value, which is the meaning of life that you are seeking!

Hello, question asker. I can see you're feeling confused, and I'm here to support you!

You grew up in a poor family, which led to your inferiority complex, sweetheart.

But don't worry, this is something you can change!

They say that fate is in our own hands, and I truly believe that to be true!

Of course, everyone is affected by their family of origin, but the good news is that we can minimize the impact it has on us.

For example, we can choose not to pass on the not-so-great parts of our family of origin to our future partners and children.

In other words, we can stop the negative aspects of our original family from affecting us.

Then, don't worry! You can reduce the negative impact of its "intergenerational transmission."

I know it can be scary to think about, but you'll be okay. You might feel like you're not perfect after the surgery and the scar on your neck, but I promise you'll be just fine.

But don't worry, the scar is really not that noticeable, especially in the winter when it's cold and we all like to wear clothes with collars. So, it's unlikely anyone will notice it.

I can understand why you might be concerned about the scar on your neck. It's possible that the "spotlight effect" in psychology might be influencing your thoughts on the matter.

The "spotlight effect" is when you focus on your own flaws and think other people are paying a lot of attention to them, but they're not.

I really hope the problem you're having gets fixed soon.

Now, all I can think of is the above.

I really hope my answer helps and inspires you! I'm the answerer, and I study hard every day.

Here at Yixinli, the world and I love you! Wishing you the best!

Take care!

Sending lots of hugs to the original poster! Reading her description, I totally get how she feels. It's like I'm looking at myself in a mirror.

Let me tell you my story first, if you don't mind.

When I was at school, my family was poor, but I was lucky enough to go to an art school. Students at art schools are usually very privileged and beautiful. I was short and poor, and I felt particularly inferior. I got along well with my classmates, but this inferiority complex stayed with me until I started working.

After graduating, I started working. I was really happy to find that I was able to do a good job, was hardworking and motivated, and was liked by my customers. I realised that it's not so much about appearance and family background, but more about having a good character and being able to do the job well. When I felt strong enough, I slowly gained confidence.

I asked lots of people if they ever felt inferior to me because I was short. They all said that they loved my short stature and found me especially cute for being small.

When I was almost thirty, I had a bit of a mishap in a traffic accident, which resulted in a broken thigh bone. After surgery, I had a scar on my thigh that was nearly 40 centimeters long and an eight-centimeter scar on my forehead. I had never had scars or acne since I was young and had fair skin, so I really couldn't accept having these two ugly scars.

I stopped wearing skirts, and when I went out, I either wore a hat or a scar on my forehead to cover the single scar on my forehead. I was also particularly worried that I would not find a partner, and I was feeling pretty down every day.

Later on, I came across Helen's biography (you know, the author of "If I Had Three Days of Light"). Helen had a rough start in life, becoming deaf and blind due to illness.

But she didn't let it get her down. With the help of her teacher Sullivan, she learned Braille, reading and writing, and later became a well-known author. Compared to Helen, I feel so lucky! Helen has also become my role model.

I know I can't change the ugly scar, but I try to be brave and accept it. I also try to accept myself, warts and all! Instead of focusing on the external scars, I try to pay more attention to my inner feelings.

I tell myself it's okay, with or without scars. I have to love myself, and I deserve to be loved. My parents and friends love me just the same, no matter what.

When I accept myself, I slowly become more confident, and it's such a wonderful feeling!

I stopped worrying about my scars and started wearing short skirts and going out to socialize. I realized that as long as I didn't mention my scars, no one would pay any attention to them. They were more interested in who I was as a person.

Later on, I married through a matchmaking service. I once asked my husband if he had hesitated at the time because of my disfigured forehead.

He said that if I hadn't mentioned it, he wouldn't have noticed the scar. After listening to my experience, he was even more determined to be with me. He was really moved by what I'd been through and by my optimistic character. He felt that I deserved to be loved.

This is just my own experience, but I think it's a good one! We can't change the fact that we were born, but we can still control our destiny.

Life never gets better on its own, but you can make it better! It's all about accepting what you can't change and embracing your imperfect self.

From this moment on, it's time to awaken your inner self! Go exercise, go study, work hard to be self-disciplined, love yourself, and nourish yourself.

You know, exercise changes health, learning changes ability, and self-discipline develops good habits. And there's no one else outside, only yourself. So, you see, the only one who can make yourself better and better is yourself.

You deserve to be loved and to have a good life, so believe it!