How can one build or find a stable sense of self-worth and confidence when they dare not face it?

I am pleased to be able to respond to your query.

The concept of self-confidence is frequently discussed in everyday life. In psychology, the closest concept to self-confidence is self-efficacy, which was proposed by Bandura in his social learning theory. Self-efficacy refers to an individual's assessment of their ability to successfully cope with a particular situation.

Bandura posits that self-efficacy is not contingent on an individual's skill set per se, but rather on their capacity to utilize the skills they possess.

It is my hope that the following advice will prove to be a source of inspiration for you.

1. It is imperative to avoid living in a world that is not one's own. There is no need to be afraid of others. Indeed, it can be argued that every individual harbors a degree of cowardice within their heart. Some individuals may appear to be exceedingly powerful, yet they are, in fact, quite cowardly. They may feign unconcern and arrogance, but in reality, they are vulnerable.

2. It is imperative not to unquestioningly accept the opinions and conclusions of others, nor to unduly restrict the scope and potential of one's own life. Life itself has no limits, and there is no distinction between lives that are precious and those that are common. It is essential to be confident and to resist allowing the comments and evaluations of others to affect one's life. One is the master of one's own life.

3. It is inadvisable to dwell excessively on a given situation. Doing so will inevitably lead to increased anxiety and a sense of being overwhelmed. Instead, it is essential to maintain a sense of inner confidence and to present a confident outward appearance. This can be achieved by viewing the situation as if it were a play and oneself as the actor, playing a role that demands to be performed with skill.

This mentality will facilitate the release of burdens.

4. If one is experiencing internal conflict, it is because one is attempting to pursue a multiplicity of disparate objectives. If one is experiencing a sense of aimlessness, it is because one is uncertain about one's fundamental aspirations. However, this is an inaccurate assessment. One possesses a clear understanding of one's disinclinations and one's aspirations.

One's lack of courage is often a result of a lack of confidence, which can be derived from a strong sense of conviction. It is important to recognize that everyone possesses potential, and it is essential to have confidence in oneself to pursue these endeavors.

5. One should refrain from dwelling on past pain and avoid self-torture through dwelling on the words and deeds of others. Instead, one should live one's own life to the fullest extent possible and endeavor to effect change in one's own life and in the lives of others. This is the only way to live a powerful life.

It is my sincere hope that this will be of assistance.

Hello, I'm Kimu, your little angel!

I hope this helps!

In life, many people lose confidence when they encounter setbacks and may even become disheartened. The questioner is actually very brave. When you encounter difficulties that you cannot solve on your own, muster the courage to seek help. You deserve a round of applause!

The questioner's main issue is how to handle feeling inferior. He's pretty confused about it all.

First of all, I'd like to share with you that there are two types of inferiority.

(1) Overt inferiority:

Lin Daiyu is a classic example of someone with overt inferiority. She's sensitive, suspicious, sentimental, and depressed. Unfortunately, it doesn't end well for her.

2) Implicit inferiority:

With hidden inferiority, you've got someone who can hide their inferiority well. You'd never guess that they're inferior, but deep down they are. For example, when the exam is approaching, everyone else is studying hard, but they're slacking off, and their grades are unsatisfactory. They think that if they hadn't studied, they would have done well.

Most people in today's world are somewhere between overt and covert, or they switch back and forth between the two.

What's the main issue for people with low self-esteem?

First, link the results of your words and actions to your negative thinking.

If you get a new haircut or wear a new outfit, and you're around someone you like or you come across a good opportunity, you start to think nonsense. You wonder if you're not worthy, if you're not good enough, if you're not capable. Before anything happens, you imagine a terrible outcome and keep telling yourself that it will happen.

Second, link the results of your words and actions to negative comments from others.

When something happens to you, you become sensitive, and other people's smiles become sneers, other people's whispers become sneaking insults, and other people's bad comments become a judgment against you.

Advice to the original poster:

"A man of integrity is always looking for ways to improve himself!" (The gentleman here represents everyone, regardless of gender.)

If you're feeling unsure or confused, it's a good idea to try to establish your own evaluation system.

Instead of trying to play the part others think you should play or letting other people's opinions or your own imagination run wild, it's better to be down-to-earth and establish a philosophy you're willing to strive for your whole life. Then, you can put it into practice and revise it as you see fit.

Let's look at Xiaojin as an example. Her goal is to "help the world if you succeed, and be good to yourself if you are poor!" In other words, she believes in using her own strength to help those who want help. If she does well and becomes rich, she'll help the world. If she's just so-so and not too wealthy, she'll take care of herself and practice what she preaches, doing one good deed a day.

As for whether I'll stick to this goal and where I've done well and where I've not, Xiaojin will keep an eye on himself and make changes to his thinking and actions.

Xiaojin can share some keywords with the questioner, who can then choose the ones that suit them to put into practice.

The questioner can choose from a list of keywords to reflect on and practice, including: truth, love, kindness, beauty, ambition, sincerity, thoughtfulness, diligence, frugality, perseverance, knowledge, purity, gratitude, responsibility, and trust. If there are no keywords that fit, they can also choose from a list of famous sayings.

I'm looking forward to seeing how the questioner develops!

Hello, questioner!

I totally get where you're coming from. I can see that you're feeling unsure of yourself, insecure, and ready for a change. Let's take a look together:

"When you encounter setbacks and are feeling down, it's easy to lose confidence and feel inadequate. We've all been there!

It's totally normal to have this kind of mentality when you're facing setbacks. There's no need to worry too much or blame yourself too much. These small setbacks are just a little bit of color in life. They might feel unpleasant at the time, but when you look back on the past at some point, you'll see that it's these small setbacks and small colors that have created the future you have today.

"Fear of not being loved, fear of not doing things well, fear of one's weaknesses, fear of not revealing one's true self, fear of not being accepted, fear of failure." We all have these fears, and that's okay!

I'm here to help!

There seem to be many "fears," but I wonder if the questioner has ever thought about what the most feared thing is? In fact, these fears are not very important or they are only superficial. What should really be considered is how to learn to accept oneself, my dear friend.

This includes accepting your own strengths and weaknesses, as well as previous or current states. In other words, you have to allow yourself to be imperfect. When you can do this, it's as if there's nothing to be afraid of. At the same time, you'll feel like nothing can defeat you.

And now for some tips on how you can adjust:

I've got a few tips to help you out!

Let's use more positive suggestions, shall we?

And don't forget to use lots of positive suggestions!

We all have negative thoughts and language patterns that pop up in our minds from time to time. It's totally normal! But, it's also important to recognize these patterns and make a conscious effort to shift them. For instance, you might hear yourself saying "I can't," "I dare not," or "I'm afraid of failure." Write these down and then draw a "×" or strike them out. This simple act can help you to recognize these patterns and remind yourself to discard them from your mind.

Let's take a moment to recognize some of the negative suggestions that might pop up in our minds and language from time to time. We've all been there! Things like "I can't," "I dare not," or "I'm afraid of failure." Write these down and then cross them out to remind yourself to let them go.

Then, write some positive reminders next to it, such as: "I can," "I am a little strong, there is nothing to be afraid of," and "Failure is the mother of success."

You've got this! Encourage yourself more.

You've got this! Encourage yourself more.

You've got this!

It can be really helpful to read some celebrity biographies and inspirational books and movies, and compare yourself to the protagonists. This can help you to identify the psychological qualities that you have in common with them, and give you ideas about how you can develop these qualities in yourself.

You can do it! Try taking the first step.

▪ Why not try taking the first step?

Be sure to greet your colleagues with a smile and a nod, even if it's just a little thing. After work, treat yourself to a little me-time with friends, whether it's to share your day's woes, chat about the latest news, or go shopping!

Be proactive!

For example, when you're meeting someone you like, try to get to know them better. Find out about their interests and hobbies, and ask about their daily habits. Chat with them about family matters. Try to think from their perspective more often, and communicate more in your spare time. This will help you to slowly integrate into each other's lives.

"When you encounter a career opportunity, make sure you're fully prepared and go for it! You never know when an opportunity might arise."

And finally, deliberate practice!

For example, when you're walking, don't keep your head down and walk with your back straight. You'll be amazed at how much better you'll feel!

For example, when you're walking, don't keep your head down, keep your back straight, and walk quickly!

For example, make sure you keep an eye on the latest company news when it comes to recruitment. Get ready for the next big event by brushing up on your skills and practising your presentation.

And last but not least, believe in yourself! Don't worry too much about what others think. Just be yourself and move forward.

I really hope my answer will be helpful to the questioner! Warm regards!

I really hope my answer will be helpful to the original poster! Warm regards!

It is a widely held belief that every situation has two sides, and even the renminbi is not without its detractors. It is therefore to be expected that individuals will experience feelings of sadness when they encounter setbacks and feel a low sense of self-worth. It is a common human experience to doubt and deny oneself when one encounters something one is not good at. The difference between those who accept their temporary setback and those who do not is that the former are able to start again.

In essence, one should adopt the attitude of "if you fall down, accept your defeat; when you've cried, get up and persevere."

It is a challenging concept to grasp. When an individual experiences a diminished sense of self-worth, the initial step is to address their emotional state. It is essential to acknowledge and accept one's emotions, as they serve a vital role in personal growth. One simple yet effective approach is to provide oneself with a comforting gesture, such as a hug, and verbal affirmation, such as "I can be depressed for a while," or "I'm feeling so sad; I'll be depressed for a couple of days." By allowing one's emotions and external circumstances to dissipate inner anxiety and foster a sense of bodily and mental unity, individuals can begin to navigate their emotional landscape with greater ease.

The second step is to conduct an analysis. The objective is to identify the underlying reasons for the lack of proficiency in the task.

To achieve this, one must first ascertain the optimal method for completing the task and then identify a viable approach. This process requires an in-depth examination of both the individual's capabilities and the circumstances at hand.

One must first identify their identity and situate themselves in the broader context.

What are my strengths? What are my weaknesses?

The only way to identify an effective approach is to understand one's own capabilities and limitations. If one is aware that they are not suited to a particular task but attempts it anyway, they may experience feelings of inadequacy.

The initial step in identifying a solution is to gain an understanding of one's own capabilities and limitations. This necessitates an awareness of one's strengths and weaknesses, which can be achieved through introspection and self-assessment. Once these areas have been identified, the next step is to determine how to optimise one's strengths and address the weaknesses. For the latter, it is essential to seek guidance and collaborate with others. In the event that learning is not a viable option, it is crucial to take action and apply the necessary effort. If all else fails, it is necessary to alter the approach and consider alternative strategies.

The third step is to undertake more action and engage in less discussion. The answer will become apparent with time, as will the full implications of the situation.

It is preferable to engage in an action that may be perceived as incorrect than to refrain from action entirely. If one engages in the action, a result will inevitably ensue. The result will provide insight into the areas requiring improvement, enabling a comprehensive analysis of the necessary steps to achieve the desired outcome.

I wish you the best of luck.

Good morning. I am a heart exploration coach, and I am here to provide you with a warm and sincere listening ear as you share your emotional stories.

I am pleased to have this opportunity to discuss the topic of self-confidence with you.

1. Confidence is the belief in one's own abilities and potential.

Self-confidence is the belief in one's own abilities and the conviction that one can accomplish tasks at hand.

It is a form of self-affirmation and belief that originates from an intrinsic sense of confidence in oneself and in one's future prospects.

There are two types of self-confidence. One is self-confidence based on past achievements, but this can become arrogance because it is a false confidence and a sign of low self-esteem.

This is why they will engage in activities with the goal of proving themselves, viewing success or failure as a reflection of their worth. When the factors they rely on are no longer available, their sense of self-worth is also undermined.

As you mentioned, when presented with a potential romantic interest or career opportunity, individuals often experience self-doubts and fears. This is an example of "looking outward," where external factors, such as the approval of others, play a significant role in establishing one's sense of self-worth.

It is important to demonstrate your capabilities through tangible results. Once these external factors are no longer available, your self-confidence may falter.

The other form of confidence is self-confidence. Unlike external forms of confidence, self-confidence is not contingent on external standards. It is an inner, unconditional, subjective belief in one's abilities. This form of confidence is the most genuine and reliable.

He is not motivated by external validation. He has confidence in his abilities and respects others. A wealthy individual does not need to prove their financial status, and the same is true of a confident person.

One way to improve self-confidence is to enhance one's sense of self-worth. Self-worth can be defined as one's subjective evaluation of oneself. For more information, please refer to my article "It turns out that the root cause of psychological problems is it," which can be found on my personal website.

Your value is not contingent on the opinions of others. You are fully aware of your worth and the qualities that define you as a person. Do you still concern yourself with the perceptions of others? Even if some individuals offer criticism or accuse you, you will graciously accept what is valuable to you. You will also disregard any intentional or unintentional slander.

Your value is not contingent on the evaluation of others. When you have confidence in your own evaluation, you are under no obligation to hide insignificant shortcomings. Attempting to hide such shortcomings is an indication of uncertainty about your own value.

2. The universal formula for boosting self-confidence

The process begins with a desire or idea, followed by action and experience. As experience is gained, abilities are recognized by others, leading to confidence, self-esteem, and self-love.

This is the universal formula for boosting self-confidence. For example:

I aspire to become an excellent public speaker. Based on this objective, I began to try to speak on stage. As I gained experience, I learned how to speak on stage without being nervous or shaking, and how to control the situation and interact with the audience.

The experience gained from these numerous speeches has gradually developed my proficiency in delivering speeches, which has also been acknowledged and validated by others, thus reinforcing my self-assurance.

Self-confidence is the foundation of self-esteem, which in turn is the sublimation of self-confidence. An individual who is able to respect themselves is also capable of loving themselves. This enables them to gain the respect of others.

Additionally, individuals can train themselves to provide consistent positive feedback: "You demonstrated courage today. You were open and confident when interacting with others, and you spoke eloquently." Affirmations, praise, and self-acceptance are key.

In today's world, it is crucial to prioritize self-affirmation and self-acceptance. While it is not always easy to do so, it is essential to recognize that self-love is a fundamental need. If you are not able to affirm and accept yourself now, when can you?

I hope the above is helpful to you. Best regards, [Your name]

To continue the conversation, please click "Find a Coach" in the upper right corner or at the bottom of the page. I will communicate and grow with you one-on-one.

Hello, question asker. I can see you're feeling confused right now, and I'm here to give you a big hug!

Don't worry, these are just some growing pains. I'm here for you, and I'm sending you another warm hug.

I think the reason you're feeling afraid to face it is that you may have had a tough experience when facing setbacks in the past.

Or perhaps when you were younger, you had to face some challenges on your own, but your mom told you that you couldn't do it.

And then you might even start to feel like you really can't face setbacks in the future.

(The above reference is from the book Amazing Psychology.)

I'd love to hear about the biggest setback you had as a child.

I'd love to hear how you faced it at the time!

I promise you, if you can overcome your own setbacks once, you will be able to face them bravely in the future. This is how I got through it, and I'm here for you.

It's okay if facing setbacks is difficult at first.

I know you can do it! If you overcome a little difficulty each time, you will become very strong and confident in the end.

I know it can be tough, but I promise you this: whatever doesn't kill you will eventually make you stronger.

I really hope the problem you're having now gets solved soon.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I can think of only these things right now, but I'm sending you all my love and support.

I really hope my answer was helpful and inspiring for you! I'm the answer, and I study hard every day.

Here at Yixinli, we love you and the world loves you too! Wishing you all the best!

Hello, landlord. I hope my answer helps.

I can understand the original poster's feelings because I had a similar experience. Before I got married and had children, I was a good student and child. After I got married and had children, I encountered difficulties. I also began to doubt myself and want recognition. Later, I learned to build my self-confidence. My once sensitive heart became more powerful.

My advice is to:

First, accept yourself.

Accept yourself, your imperfections, and your strengths.

It's not easy to accept yourself. Keep practicing. When you hear that negative voice in your head, keep practicing. You have strengths and shortcomings. You have value. Use your strengths and live well with your shortcomings.

When you accept yourself, you can live with your shortcomings.

Many people are imperfect but can live well with their shortcomings. Accept your imperfections and live a carefree life.

It can be hard to accept yourself. This is because we were often criticised and not accepted when we were growing up. This can lead to us being negative about ourselves.

Self-acceptance takes practice. It took me a long time to accept myself fully, but I'm getting there. The more we accept ourselves, the more confident and motivated we become.

Self-acceptance is a skill you can learn. Practice it every day.

Here are five ways to be more self-accepting, as revealed by clinical psychologists:

1. Set a goal of self-acceptance.

"Self-acceptance begins with intention," says psychologist Jeffrey Zimbardo. "It's important that we set a goal to transform a world of blame, doubt, and shame into a world of inclusion, acceptance, and trust." This idea acknowledges that self-loathing does not lead to a satisfying life.

Sambur said, "If I accept myself, I'll live a better life."

2. Record your strengths.

Write down one of your strengths every day. Affirm your value and see your strengths. Play to your strengths to gain confidence.

Today, we can make up for our weaknesses through cooperation and show the world what we're good at.

3. Get support from others.

Spend time with people who accept you, support you, and love you. This will help you feel more stable, peaceful, and joyful.

4. Talk to your best self.

Imagine your best self is looking at your current situation. What would it suggest you do?

This visual separation helps us move past our current self and use our inner wisdom to heal.

This exercise teaches us to be our own best parents and show love and compassion for ourselves. You can meditate and do this exercise when you need guidance or comfort.

5. Be the person you want to be.

If you don't think you're valuable, make yourself valuable and believe it. Only when we accept ourselves can we forgive our mistakes and stop needing others' approval.

We all make mistakes. Our identity is not defined by our mistakes.

If we lack something inside, we look outside for it. If we cannot accept ourselves, we crave acceptance from others. But we can only find stable acceptance by looking within. When we have achieved self-acceptance, we will not care so much about the approval and evaluation of others.

Recognize your own value and give yourself positive suggestions.

If we support ourselves, we will become more confident.

If we don't have something inside us, we'll look for it outside. But things outside us are unstable and beyond our control. We can only control ourselves.

We need other people to recognize us. This shows that we don't recognize ourselves enough. We need to practice recognizing and encouraging ourselves. When we do this, we won't care so much about other people's opinions.

When you accept yourself, others will too. You'll exude charm and confidence.

You are the source of everything. Change yourself and you will change your world.

Be confident and secure, and keep improving.

Strength and hard work give us confidence. When we become the person we want to be, we feel more confident and secure.

Set yourself goals and work towards them one step at a time. This will help you improve your abilities, grow your knowledge, and gain more experience. You will feel more secure, have more control over your life, and become more confident.

A good goal is one that is moderately difficult. If the goal is too small, you will feel unchallenged. If it is too big, you will feel too much resistance. A moderately challenging goal is the one that inspires us the most. When we work hard to achieve these goals, we will feel a sense of achievement.

If you walk 4,000 steps a day, set a goal of 4,500-5,000.

If you set goals that suit you, the most important thing is to persevere. Only by acting can you overcome difficulties and truly experience your own value.

Keep encouraging yourself. Believe that you can.

I accepted my situation, saw my strengths in learning, exams, and psychology, and set myself reasonable goals. My abilities improved, and I got closer to my goal.

You can do it! Good luck!

Hello, host. I hope this message finds you well. I just wanted to send a quick note to express my sincerest smile.

From reading your description, I gained a deeper insight into the question you wish to ask. I hope you will accept my hug in four dimensions.

From your description, it seems that you have a relatively clear self-understanding of yourself. This gives you a certain direction for solving subsequent problems, as compared to people who do not have a clear self-understanding of themselves, you are already much better. Why do I say that? Because at present, you know what kind of problems you have, so I also want to give you a little praise. I can see that you have changed, and you are not just letting it develop as you have in the past.

The host mentioned many of the issues you've outlined, which are quite common. It's a natural process, so there's no need to be overly concerned. These challenges will eventually find solutions, it just takes time.

The host also mentioned in the description that when you encounter setbacks, it's natural for your self-worth to decrease and for confidence to waver. Many people react similarly when facing similar challenges.

In this regard, I have also summarized some methods that I hope will be helpful in alleviating your current situation.

It might be helpful to try to sort out your own strengths and weaknesses, and then take the time to integrate them, so as to form a comprehensive understanding of yourself.

(2) Perhaps you could try to accept the things you do not do well, and then use some methods to get along with them?

(3) You might consider trying to give yourself more positive self-suggestions to build up your confidence step by step.

(4) You might like to consider trying to love yourself more and be more accepting of yourself in the present, rather than being overly critical of the past or what is happening now.

Perhaps you could consider trying to slowly build up your confidence by doing a small thing well?

I hope the world and I can show our love for you.

I wish you the best.

Good day, question asker.

I am grateful for your invitation.

It appears that you have difficulty accepting yourself and believe that confronting adversity leads to self-doubt.

I am unaware of your age, the origin of these thoughts, or the duration of their presence.

The initial topic for discussion is:

A stable sense of value and self-confidence. Does this reflect a tendency towards perfectionism?

For the majority of individuals, experiencing frustration and temporary discouragement following a setback is a common occurrence.

Such reactions are, in fact, quite normal.

The experience of stress and anxiety.

Frustration and defeatism prompt a temporary withdrawal and period of recuperation, which can be viewed as a survival strategy.

A survival strategy that is inherently a balance between work and leisure.

Another individual may engage in negative judgment, potentially reflecting a heightened self-focus or a manifestation of excessive narcissism.

The underlying cause of this phenomenon can be attributed to the following factors:

An individual who is perpetually concerned about being subjected to criticism and held accountable within the context of societal evaluation is likely to engage in such ruminative patterns.

Such circumstances engender feelings of anxiety regarding one's perceived inferiority, which in turn impedes the ability to accept oneself.

In your case, the use of the word "no" is particularly prevalent.

"Anxious about being criticized and held responsible in society's evaluation system, they are afraid to confront their fears and insecurities, including their fear of not being loved, their fear of not doing things well, and their fear of their own weaknesses."

A further factor is the reluctance to expose the true self, which may be accompanied by a fear of rejection.

This issue requires further discussion. If these negative evaluations are recent, it is likely due to recent experiences.

It is inevitable that frustration will ensue.

If, over an extended period of time, this perception becomes firmly established and is consistently internalized in response to the emotional states of others and social evaluation,

It would be prudent to consider whether this is related to your "compliant personality traits."

The flawed psychological logic of a pleasing personality

(1) is notably attuned to the sentiments of others and exhibits a pronounced concern for the opinions of those around them.

This is due to the concern that one's actions may be met with disapproval from others. As the level of esteem for the other individual increases, so does the level of apprehension.

This results in a tendency towards caution in all actions and a prolonged period of remorse following a minor misstep.

(2) Exalting others and oneself while simultaneously belittling oneself, having no independent opinions, and engaging in behaviors such as eating according to the preferences of others.

One may also be inclined to engage in activities that align with the opinions of others, and to base one's actions on the opinions of others.

Such individuals are acutely fearful of being disliked and feel safer when they lower their self-esteem.

(3) They are reluctant to make requests, find it challenging to decline others' requests, are hesitant to decline requests, are uncertain about how to refuse, and allow others to take advantage of them.

Additionally, one might elect to remain silent, apprehending that if they decline, the relationship with the other party may deteriorate.

They were reluctant to articulate their needs, concerned about the potential for causing distress to others, and anxious about becoming a burden to those around them.

(4) Lack of boundaries and principles. The primary objective is to please others, which precludes the maintenance of boundaries.

Such individuals allow others to dictate their actions, frequently encroaching upon the boundaries of others.

The individual may also experience distress due to a longing to establish intimate relationships and a tendency to become hurt when others are unable to meet their expectations.

The question thus arises as to how one might break the pattern.

The initial step is to identify one's ten strengths.

One should read out loud every day in the mirror, recalling the honors one has previously bestowed upon oneself.

Furthermore, it is important to experience the feelings of pride that were previously associated with these strengths.

Secondly, it is important to identify one's personal boundaries and to refrain from allowing external opinions to exert undue influence. Frequently,

The concern about how others perceive us leads to self-deprecation.

Third, it is recommended that an individual create a self-portrait, identify their own strengths and weaknesses, and conduct a self-assessment.

It is beneficial to gain insight into one's own self-perception by learning from the perspectives of friends and family members of varying ages and occupational backgrounds.

Fourth, it is recommended that individuals engage actively in social welfare work.

The creation of value for society is an effective means of enhancing self-esteem.

Fifth, it is important to avoid excessive self-expectations and to accept one's ordinary status.

Mistakes are an inherent part of the process of personal growth and development. It is important to be able to accept one's shortcomings and mistakes as an integral part of the learning process.

The aforementioned analysis and recommendations are intended for informational purposes only. I am Counselor Yao, and I will continue to provide support and attention to your needs.

Good morning,

Host:

My name is Zeng Chen, and I am a heart exploration coach. I have carefully read the post, and I understand that you are afraid to face it.

Furthermore, I noted that the poster has courageously articulated his reservations and proactively sought assistance on the platform. This will undoubtedly assist the poster in gaining deeper insights and understanding himself better, enabling him to make necessary adjustments to align with a more optimal self-image.

I will now share my observations and thoughts from the post, which may help you to view yourself from a more diverse perspective.

1. Does self-confidence lead to improvement, or does excellence lead to confidence?

After reading the post, I would like to discuss with the author the following question: Does a person become better because they are confident? Or does confidence become better because of their excellence?

What, then, is the distinction between these two concepts? Does a person become better because they are confident?

He has a complete acceptance of himself and is therefore not affected by external setbacks or evaluations.

His confidence allows him to believe in himself and avoid letting his outstanding qualities be diminished.

Therefore, he will make himself better. And because of his positive attributes, he becomes confident.

It is my understanding that this individual has a high level of self-disapproval and requires external validation and accomplishments to establish a positive self-image. Only after demonstrating excellence will he gain self-confidence.

2. Conditional versus unconditional love

Why is this the case? Is it because some individuals excel as a result of their self-assurance?

And some people become confident because they are good? The essential difference between the two is that I understand it as conditional love and unconditional love.

However, the love we receive is often contingent upon certain conditions. What is meant by the term "conditional love"?

For example, academic performance must meet a certain standard before appreciation can be extended.

In order to be recognized and appreciated, one must first achieve success.

Furthermore, this is a widely accepted concept in the modern business environment.

I believe the original poster has also identified this issue and recognized its potential for causing problems, as it can lead to self-defeating behaviors.

The authentic self is not always well-received, and it is only after we have achieved something that we are typically liked and accepted. We gain affirmation and become confident when we are perceived as good.

What is unconditional love? It is a state of mind that allows us to like and accept the real you, and to appreciate you even when you don't perform well.

I am aware that this is not a matter of inability, but rather a question of performance.

Due to our self-recognition and self-belief, we are reluctant to accept setbacks and allow our positive self-image to be negatively affected.

3. Accept the real you.

As stated by renowned psychologist Wu Zhihong, being true is preferable to being perfect.

Accepting one's true self, embracing both strengths and weaknesses, fosters a sense of completeness rather than perfection. With this in mind, let us turn to the concept of unconditional love.

Love is a deeply understood and accepted concept. If we wish to support ourselves regardless of circumstances,

It is also important to learn to accept the real self. This means accepting the fact that nobody is perfect and that we all have areas where we are not as strong.

Allow yourself to excel in areas where you have a natural talent and create your own value in those areas. Accept the parts of yourself that you cannot change for the time being and focus your energy on the parts that you can change and adjust.

Subsequently, we will encounter a superior iteration of ourselves. Furthermore, we will experience enhanced fulfillment and confidence.

I hope these resources will prove helpful and inspiring. Please note that change cannot be achieved overnight. If you have any questions or require further assistance, you can also try clicking on Find a Coach to communicate with a coach one-on-one and learn and grow together.

Hello, questioner! I'm Wang Enhoo, your friendly psychological counselor.

I'd love to discuss the topic you've raised with you.

1. It's totally normal to feel a bit down when you're facing some challenges or when you're feeling a bit low. It's natural to lose a bit of confidence and feel a little insecure when you're going through a rough patch.

It doesn't matter how strong you are, if you come up against something you can't do, you'll doubt yourself and feel lost. So let's get one thing straight: we're only human, not gods!

It's okay to feel a little inferior, down, or to take a little time to yourself.

2"For example, when faced with someone you like or a career opportunity, you might feel a little unsure of yourself, a bit afraid to face it, and worried that you might not be loved or do a good job. You might also feel afraid of your weaknesses, afraid not to reveal your true self, afraid of not being accepted, and afraid of failure."

Social psychology has a concept called "achievement motivation." There are two types of achievement motivation: the pursuit of success and the avoidance of failure.

The expression of the pursuit of success is: How can I get closer to success? Even if I fail, I think about what I can learn from it, and it will be easier to succeed in the future. The manifestation of avoiding failure is: No matter what I do, I may fail, so I might as well not do it, right?

Our natural reaction is to try to avoid failure. And there are some good reasons for that! It means we're less likely to get into trouble, and it makes us feel more secure.

First, let's take a moment to understand where this motivation to avoid failure comes from. It's often related to our upbringing, which is totally normal!

First, we understand and accept this characteristic of ourselves, not entirely as our fault, and we let it be.

3 "And now is the time to face these things, and I am trying to adjust myself. I also know that everyone has value and strengths, and I'm here to support you in embracing them!"

"Starting with our interests and areas of relative advantage, we can form outstanding strengths and abilities through deliberate practice and intensive training. Gradually expand them.

And you know what? We'll become more and more confident in ourselves!

4. "Being able to support yourself no matter what the situation is." We're only human, after all! Try to be a little more forgiving with yourself.