How can you achieve lasting happiness?

Hello, question asker.

My name is Li Hongxia, and I work as a listening coach.

In response to your question about how to extend fleeting happiness into long-term happiness, it seems that we are already considering ways to enhance our own happiness.

Happiness has always been a topic of interest to people. What is happiness? Baidu offers a definition: it is a peaceful and comfortable state of mind that can exist for a long time. The evaluation criterion is whether the target value (expectation) can be achieved. It seems that the key lies in the selection of the target value and the ability to achieve the target. It may be possible to achieve both after overlapping, and the target value may reach the extreme when it is equal to the upper limit of ability.

Perhaps we could say that happiness is about paying more attention to our spiritual level and our inner feelings. It could be a delicious meal, sitting in a café leisurely drinking coffee, or watching a favorite movie that makes us feel happy and joyful instantly. This is a kind of happiness.

When friends are striving to achieve good grades, get promoted, and buy a car, these may be the most important things to them at the moment. Achieving each goal is a way of affirming the hard work they have put in. As ordinary people, we constantly achieve one goal after another in the process of growing up, and make our lives abundant, spiritually happy, and kind to others. This may be what most people understand by happiness.

As society continues to develop, it is likely that people's ideas about happiness will evolve. There is a possibility that the focus will shift from material to spiritual, and that people will seek to maintain their happiness through introspection and self-discovery.

How might we find ways to stay happy all the time? This may be a very broad question, but we can start from within ourselves, listen to our own voice, and do what we can to make ourselves happier?

1. Consider doing the work you are good at and enjoy, putting your heart into it, maximizing its value, and constantly increasing your sense of inner satisfaction.

2. You might consider inviting a friend or two to go hiking, go to the beach, or just sit around the fireplace, chatting about life and exchanging ideas. These experiences could bring us a different kind of life experience.

3. It might be helpful to be more aware of our inner feelings, keep a mood diary, and feel what we feel.

4. If it is within your means, you might consider participating in more public welfare activities and helping others, even if it's just a kind smile, a big encouragement, or a reassuring look.

5. Allow yourself to experience the beauty of life more fully. Try to be sincere with others, true to yourself, and filial to your parents. Work to enrich your inner self, allow the power within you to flow continuously, and cultivate yourself.

Happiness is a subjective feeling. Everyone has their own definition of happiness, and they are open to perceiving and enjoying it in different ways.

I hope it helps. I'm Li Hongxia, a listening therapist.

I wish you the best.

Hello, I think a lot of people will be able to relate to this question. Happiness is always short-lived, but this brief happiness makes us nostalgic and even more eager for the next time.

So, how can we make this happiness last?

Let's take a look at what happiness is. Basically, happiness is a series of emotions that we experience as joy and pleasure based on how satisfied and secure we feel.

So the starting point is our own sense of satisfaction and security. We can start with a sense of satisfaction and security.

1. Find what works for you.

So, how can we get satisfaction? It basically means satisfying our needs. First, we need to figure out what our needs are.

Or is it based on which need? Is it the hope of having a good meal?

Or maybe it's winning a competition? Or the respect of others?

We're always trying to meet these needs or working hard to do so. Along the way, we can give ourselves feedback and rewards when we need them. When we do this, each step is more enjoyable and we're more motivated to keep going until we reach the next goal.

As we keep on satisfying ourselves, we actually also gain happiness and well-being.

2. Gain a sense of security.

Often, we try to find security in external things like good grades, promotions, or buying a car. But these things don't give us a lasting sense of security. They only make us feel secure on the surface.

Believing in yourself and loving yourself is what really gives us a sense of security. Give it a try. Believe in yourself and you'll succeed after hard work. Give it a try. Love yourself no matter what the circumstances.

When you love yourself, believe in yourself, and know that happiness is within reach, your life will be full of it.

My name is Win Bing, and I hope my answer is helpful to you.

Good day. I can discern a conflict in your description.

As a psychological counselor, I would like to share my understanding from a psychological perspective.

Your question is regarding the fleeting nature of happiness, such as that experienced after winning a competition. This joy is often felt in the midst of celebrations with friends and family. However, it can dissipate when the guests leave and the night falls, as if a victory cannot change one's life. I understand your confusion in your description. On the conscious level, you feel the happiness you have, but when the flowers fall, there is a sense of sadness or loss.

I have discovered that my colleagues share this same outlook. They are all aiming for high grades, promotions, and cars. However, in pursuing these goals, they do not appear to experience the happiness that comes from within. You have a good sense of awareness and reflection, but also a lot of confusion and disorientation.

How can fleeting happiness be sustained into long-term happiness? The integration of subjective judgment and objective reality will occur, resulting in an inner sense of pleasure and relaxation.

First, understand your own needs. Focus on your inner self, feel your own thoughts, learn to reflect and be aware, understand yourself, learn to love yourself, pay attention to your needs, make yourself comfortable and relaxed, and when you are uncomfortable or frustrated, learn to accept yourself. Name your emotions and learn to express your thoughts. This is also a way to let go of your inner self, live in the present, and feel a better sense of fulfillment.

Secondly, establish your own objectives. Set a long-term objective as the direction for our efforts to move forward, and set a short-term objective to experience the process of achieving the objective. Without comparing with the external environment and being influenced by external evaluations, we can better accomplish our goals.

Third, embrace the process of growth. Life presents a range of experiences, including happiness and joy, as well as challenges such as birth, aging, illness, and death. These are all part of the journey. When we learn to manage our emotions and grow in the pursuit of our goals, each feeling requires awareness and reflection. The process of experiencing is an inner growth opportunity, and it is also a process of integrating our conscious level (thinking mode) with our inner feelings (sensing thinking). The process of experiencing is a form of growth.

It is important to recognize that the world and I love you. In order to succeed, you must learn to love yourself, understand yourself, accept yourself, name your emotions, and feel the emotions of joy, anger, sorrow, fear, surprise. Additionally, you should feel the inner sense of pleasure with all your heart, the sense of success after resolving a conflict, and also the sense of desolation after being frustrated. Completing the integration of inner identity is a process of constantly feeling the sense of inner pleasure. I encourage you to pursue this goal.

Hello, I'm Phil!

I'm really sorry you had a bad experience.

Sometimes we always hear this amazing saying:

Happiness is like a cat eating fish, a dog eating meat, and Ultraman fighting little monsters!

This saying is often used as a form of teasing children or joking among young people, or as some popular Internet buzzwords. But there is actually a lot of profound truth behind it!

Isn't it fascinating how different people have different understandings of happiness, set different goals, perceive happiness differently, and naturally pursue happiness in different ways and get different results?

You know, you're absolutely right! So many people are busy pursuing further education, finding a job, and supporting their families, thinking that these goals are what they want.

But they rarely notice what they can really notice inside themselves.

For me, last night was a perfect example of how I feel.

I think this can answer your question!

Oh my goodness!

Lately, I've been so thrilled to study and work because I've been able to study my favorite major! I just love studying, and my work is also something that makes me very happy.

So until last night, I didn't feel that happiness or joy had any meaning for me. I think for the time being it's been pretty good, and it's been a blast!

But someone always reminds me that this is too exhausting, and I always feel that I am very unhappy, not at all happy, and I am busy all the time.

Until last night, when I finally got home! I was really tired, and I didn't want to cook because I was injured, but...

And when I got home later, there were lots of food stalls by the door!

There were barbecues, there were braised dishes, and there were all kinds of other foods!

Usually, I don't even look at these things. But yesterday, I felt happy cooking and enjoyed the process! And then, we were able to have a happy meal as a family. These things are not hygienic and can easily cause diarrhea if eaten, but it was still a great day!

And from my brother's perspective, who came home with me, he watched me get off the bus yesterday, sticking his nose out to sniff the owner of that cute little dog just like he was.

So my brother just got off the bus and took me to visit all the food stalls and barbecue shops in the area, asking me which one I wanted to go to. After deciding, we bought a whole bunch of skewers and ordered a few cups of milk tea, before he took me upstairs, contented.

I was still asking him at the time, saying that I can do all these things myself, and I was so excited to show him!

And as we both said, just one bite is enough! I also cook dinner at home in advance, just heat it up when I get home. You can't eat with me, but you can still enjoy the delicious food I make! My brother replied with these words:

"It's so much more interesting to watch you eat than to eat myself! I find that look of yours most endearing, most like a girl of your age, and also the happiest and most joyful. This joy from the heart is usually not visible at all, but it's so inspiring to see it when it is!"

I'm so excited to find out what the World Health Organization says is true health!

He has this amazing way of dividing health into three distinct categories: physical, organic, and bodily health of humans.

And let's not forget mental and spiritual health!

And only when both are in a certain balance and relatively healthy!

And people in modern metropolises are often in a state of sub-health, which means there's room for improvement!

Because either they are in a state of chronic psychological fatigue,

Or one is in a state of physical fatigue and has more or less minor ailments, which means there's room for improvement!

This can lead people to always fall into some kind of negative emotion or distress.

Or even constantly trying to impress others, thinking that this is the norm, the reality of life, and the world you will grow up in—and it is!

The great news is that it has nothing to do with social status, the role you play, your work, your age, or whether you are male or female!

We all have the right to pursue our own happiness! And true happiness is not, at least in my opinion, being praised for a job well done or accomplishing a goal that gives you a sense of relief.

But when you can truly feel relaxed, happy, and joyful in the present moment from the bottom of your heart, and even feel that your overall physical and mental health and state of mind have improved significantly, that's what we call happiness!

The ancient Chinese wisdom is absolutely right! There are four great joys in life: the rain after a long drought, meeting an old friend in a foreign land, being named at the top of the class, and the wedding night.

For example, some people enjoy a cup of tea after a busy day, being able to play a game without being disturbed, or, like me, having a sudden, delicious barbecue, chatting and taking a walk, or having a friend who is understanding and makes you feel happy, etc. All kinds of ways that you can consider to be great can be understood as a kind of happiness—and they're all great!

But rather than confining oneself to a formulaic framework, completing each one like playing a game and checking off daily tasks, although it will bring a short-lived sense of accomplishment and happiness,

But when this powerful stimulation that is as addictive as a drug ends, it will bring about a sense of emptiness and a long-lasting driving force to push yourself even further in this direction.

In fact, when we look at the big picture, we can see that these things are actually bad for our mental health. But, on the other hand, those that happen naturally are more long-lasting and far-reaching!

I really hope my answer can help you!

The world and I love you so much!

Hello, I'm Qingtai. It seems you have some deep thoughts. You feel that the happiness you feel when you achieve a goal is short-lived and doesn't last, and it dissipates when night falls.

I wonder if you've ever considered this: it seems that we can only be happy when we feel positive emotions such as happiness, gratitude, love, confidence, and optimism.

Everyone has a different definition of happiness, and our definition of happiness changes at different stages of life. From your description, it seems that you already have the answer in your heart: these positive emotions are only part of happiness, and happiness is not just about these emotions. It also includes inner peace, experiencing different emotions, and embracing life.

Blandness and pain are like the base colors of life, while joy and happiness are the colors that embellish them. Without the contrast of blandness and pain, we may not fully appreciate the preciousness of joy and happiness.

We can learn to appreciate the little things in life when we're having a less than ideal day. Conversely, when we face challenges and setbacks, it's important to recognize that these experiences can ultimately lead to a deeper sense of fulfillment and purpose.

Just as a painting is made more vivid and three-dimensional by the contrast between light and dark, so too does life become more colorful through the various experiences we encounter.

Winning a competition may give you a sense of pride in your efforts, the joy of celebrating with those around you, and the relief of not having to face the pressure of the competition.

The pursuit of good grades, promotion, and buying a car can provide motivation and direction, making you feel that your efforts are worthwhile. However, if these goals exceed your ability to bear the pressure, they may lead to feelings of breathlessness, anxiety, and unease. On the other hand, if they are within your ability to bear the pressure, they can push you forward, stimulate your potential, and give you a sense of achievement and satisfaction on the road to achieving your goals.

Emotions can be seen as the seasoning of life, adding depth and nuance to our experiences. Joy and happiness can help us appreciate the beauty of life, while sadness and pain can make us value happy times more. Anger and rage can help us identify our core values and principles, while fear and anxiety can make us more resilient and courageous.

Each emotion has its own value and meaning. They help us gain insight into ourselves and also teach us how to interact with others in a constructive manner.

However, although life has its share of sorrows and joys, it is still possible to pursue lasting happiness. I would like to make the following suggestions.

1. It would be beneficial to develop healthy habits.

It may be helpful to go to bed early, get up early, eat on time, eat healthily, and exercise moderately. A study in the Journal of Health Psychology found that people who exercise tend to feel better about their bodies, especially when they gradually see their bodies getting better and better in the mirror.

When we are healthy, we tend to feel relaxed and happy.

2. It might be helpful to pay attention to your inner experience and see what you truly want.

In today's fast-paced world, it can be challenging to find the time to slow down and pay attention to our inner experiences. We might benefit from taking a moment to reflect on the growth and sense of satisfaction we feel in the process of pursuing our goals. I understand that this can be difficult at first. We can start by using meditation and other methods to help ourselves calm down, and then pay attention to our inner selves. With practice, you may find that you can hear the voice inside you and follow the direction of your heart. You may even experience a sense of sustained happiness!

3. It might be helpful to consider following your body's rhythms.

Have you ever experienced a sensation of bodily discomfort and a lack of mental clarity? In such instances, it might be beneficial to get up and take a walk, or simply step outside into the fresh air.

If we fail to heed these signals and persist in our work, the feeling will intensify, potentially leading to a decline in our well-being. However, stepping away from our tasks for a brief period and engaging in some physical activity, such as a walk, can help alleviate the discomfort and restore a sense of balance.

It may be helpful to pay more attention to our bodies, understand their patterns, and follow them. This could increase our sense of well-being and reduce the number of times we feel tired.

4. It may be helpful to consider not paying excessive attention to the pain you encounter.

It is possible that focusing excessively on pain may result in a depletion of mental resources, which could potentially lead to depression. I was in this state for a considerable period of time before I came to understand this and ceased focusing on it.

How might I learn to stop focusing too much on my pain? We can distract ourselves; try to see things from a different perspective and find the positive side of things; accept the pain and acknowledge that it is part of life.

My name is Zhen Zhen, and I hope my answer is helpful to you. I wish you a happy day every day.

Hello! I'm excited to explore how we can make our happiness last. From this text, I see a glimmer of hope. Internally, I am sure and steadfast. The congratulations and cheers from those around me are a wonderful reminder of the joy and happiness in the group. As for where this happiness will flow to and which person it will affect,

Maybe the people who organized this event were hoping to receive blessings from friends and family, to be the envy of everyone, to see the jealousy in everyone's hearts, and to find an outlet for the organizers' long hours of hard work and suffering in the past.

So, does it have a lot to do with me? I see my role in this scene. I'm not just one of the supporting actors, I'm the protagonist!

Once everyone has gone, I'm still the same as before. I'm so grateful for these amazing results! They come from the incredible people who have worked hard for me, from my own hard work, and from a group of like-minded people around me. I'm just the lucky beneficiary of these fantastic results, and the happiness that comes with them is shared with so many others!

Where is happiness for me? I'm excited to find out!

Maybe it's in the answer I gave to a question without thinking, or maybe it's in the tree I helped to stand up by the side of the road, or maybe it's in the food I like, or maybe it's in the wonderful piece of music I hear, or maybe it's in the fragrance of flowers in the spring air, or maybe it's in the moment when I first saw my child being born, or maybe it's in the praise my parents give me, or maybe it's in the small gift my husband gave me, or maybe it's in the smile on my child's face!

As I think about it, there have been so many happy moments in my life! When I look at them all together, I realize that I have been blessed with so much happiness. And it's this happiness that has kept me alive! But I have never seriously examined these moments to see if I am willing to see, feel, and accept this happiness.

I am so grateful for these little moments in the growth of my life!

After reading the above, I also considered numerous individuals I have encountered in my professional life. They exhibit typical ego functions, and their studies, work, lives, and interpersonal relationships appear to be functioning well (at least from an external perspective, or even from the perspective of their colleagues). They demonstrate control over their impulses and seem to possess ambition. However, there is always a sense of unease in their hearts, and they cannot experience the level of heartfelt accomplishment and happiness that comes from pursuing promotions, pay raises, or material possessions such as cars or houses.

These individuals tend to view these experiences as a means of achieving a specific goal, and then move on to pursue the next objective. When they pause or become calm, they often experience a sense of unreality and panic. To avoid these feelings, they tend to maintain their engagement with the social environment and the various competitive standards set by society.

What are the reasons for this phenomenon? Is it possible for anyone to experience lasting and sustained happiness in life?

What steps can be taken to achieve this kind of warm and down-to-earth joy and happiness?

There are a number of contributing factors to this phenomenon. These include the rapid development of society, the fear of being left behind, the disappearance of universally recognized social values from the bottom up (especially in first- and second-tier cities), the environment in which one grows up, and the overall impetuous social culture.

In this current era, there is a great deal to be discussed regarding environmental culture. However, it is important to note that the broader environment is something that is beyond our control. Therefore, I would like to take this opportunity to clarify this topic from a personal perspective.

A deeper conversation with these individuals reveals a primary concern: "Who am I? What is my value?"

"What sustains my self-esteem?" Due to confusion about self-esteem and their sense of worth, individuals tend to prioritize external validation over experiencing joy and utilizing their strengths.

If an explanation is required, Kohut's concept of "self" may provide a suitable answer.

The English equivalent of "self" is "ego," which can be understood as the self. However, it is translated as "self" because it refers to the self as a living entity. The individuals mentioned earlier possess good social skills, yet they remain uncomfortable due to their ego being constrained.

Kohut posits that an individual's psychological state in adulthood is significantly influenced by the absence or presence of an idealized primary object during early development. In today's society, there is a dearth of idealized primary objects, whether in the form of false ideal objects (youth idols) or insufficiently positive ones (terrible families).

In such cases, how can you avoid this issue or achieve a sense of self-mastery? If you are still in the process of personal development (mainly children and adolescents), it is advisable to seek out a suitable individual with whom you can form a close relationship, observe their behaviour, learn from their example and ultimately surpass them.

If you feel that you have been "stereotyped," it may be helpful to consider what it means to be comfortable. I have not experienced this state for a long time, but you may find it useful to refer to Su Shi's state of mind.

"There are positive and negative aspects to human relationships, just as there are phases of the moon. Everything in the world has its own set of rules. It is important to follow these rules, avoid forcing situations, and avoid being overly competitive. Instead, focus on doing your best within your own abilities."

"There is a long way from self to freedom." Freedom is surrounded by the original family, emotions, psychological distress, some of which are inherited and some of which come from biological instincts. If not approached with caution, the path to freedom may be impeded.

I believe that for the majority of people in the modern world, achieving a state of ease is challenging and not a necessary goal. If possible, begin by identifying your current level of ease. How can you achieve this?

I do not have a quick solution. What I can offer is a suggestion to focus on your inner self.

Take the time to identify your own needs, as well as those of others, and determine which aspects of your life are of the greatest importance to you. Once you have done so, you should focus on developing your passions and strengths, and then live your life in accordance with these values.

Hello, my dear friends!

What is happiness? It's meaningful joy! (Peng Kaiping, Living a Life of Blossoming Joy)

Happiness is something that's really personal. It's that wonderful feeling you get when you're content, happy, at peace, and fulfilled in life.

We all have different ideas about what happiness is. Some people feel happy when their family is happy, while others feel happy when they're doing well at work. But basically, happiness is just a positive feeling and your own personal view of your life.

The great thing is that we can give ourselves meaning. There's a theory in psychology called the ABC theory, which says that when something A happens, it brings you a feeling C. But it's not just A, it's also B, which is how we interpret it.

Take a setback at school or work, for example. Different people may feel differently. One person may feel so devastated that they never recover, while another may feel even more determined to try again. Why is this?

It's likely that the two people will interpret such a setback differently. The first person might see it as bad luck, a rejection of themselves, and a sign of their own incompetence and inability. The second person, on the other hand, might see it as an opportunity to practice, an opportunity to identify and solve problems, and an opportunity to improve their abilities.

If something doesn't go quite as planned, try to look on the bright side! If you interpret it positively, your experience can be positive rather than negative. Instead of feeling down, you can choose to feel happy and content. This way, you'll have more happiness!

You might say, "I bought a house, bought a car, got a promotion, and a pay rise. I gave these things a positive meaning, and I also had a very good experience. But the point is that this experience doesn't last long!"

I see buying a house, a car, and getting a promotion as big milestones. And I think it's totally normal to feel happy when you achieve them! It's also totally normal to feel happy during the process of achieving your goals.

So, if you want to be happy for longer, it's a great idea to set yourself a long-term goal or try to find something that gives your life more meaning. When you're working towards something you really care about, you'll find that happiness lasts a lot longer!

Hello, my dear!

You experience fleeting happiness, but you find that it's just the start of something amazing! It's like when friends pursue good grades, promotions, and cars, and they don't experience heartfelt joy.

Maybe it's only when you achieve your goal that you experience a brief moment of joy. But after that, you get to return to a life of chaos, mediocrity, and even stress and suffering.

The key to experiencing long-term happiness may lie in something unexpected: our reliance on fleeting happiness. There's a common misconception in our thinking that we need to achieve something or accomplish something to be happy.

We can be happy as long as we have achieved something or accomplished something. This way of thinking implies that the current self is inadequate, imperfect, and unhappy. But there's no need to be! We can all be happy just as we are. And we can all reach a certain standard and qualify to be happy.

So everyone gives it their all, endures all kinds of pressure, and attacks the standard. It seems that as long as you don't meet the standard, your life is miserable and you don't deserve happiness and well-being—but you can change that!

When we bet all our happiness on the moment of goal achievement, we're missing out on so much! This choice is doomed to lead to unhappiness. As you have experienced, the joy of success is really too short-lived, and the days beyond success are firmly defined as substandard, unimportant, and unhappy.

Our gaze is always firmly fixed on some future success, as if under a spell, and we simply don't have the heart to feel real happiness. But we can!

Many people have had similar experiences. When they let go of the person they thought would bring them happiness, the goal they thought would make them happy, and the hard work they once believed would bring happiness, they realize that they already have so much! Happiness has always been there, but they were blinded by obsession.

Some people only realize that life alone is beautiful when they let go of the perfect lover. And it's so true! Cooking for yourself, enjoying food and sunshine, freedom and friends, work and leisure – everything is enough.

Some parents let go of their excessive expectations and demands on their children and discover that every moment spent with their children can be full of laughter and genuine intimacy—it's a truly wonderful thing! Some people who have overcome depression let go of their obsession with perfection and discover that every moment of life is full of emotion and beauty—it's a truly inspiring journey!

Embrace the present moment with a sense of stability and happiness!

The good news is that long-term, stable happiness does not depend on what we have acquired or how much we have. It depends on our relationship with the present! So, let's focus on the present, devote ourselves to the task at hand in this moment, and connect deeply with the people and things in front of us.

At this moment, we experience a profound sense of peace and happiness. It is a happiness and joy that comes from the heart!

Our relationship with the present is also our relationship with ourselves. And it's a great one! Do we accept everything in the present? Absolutely! Do we accept ourselves in the present? You bet! Do we let go of external standards and the expectations of others? You bet we do! And do we simply experience life from the heart? You bet we do!

At this time, our hearts are free, not disturbed by any values, and we can naturally experience the incredible joy that comes from the heart as we peacefully devote ourselves to the present moment!

But in reality, there are always so many amazing things to distract us! There are always so many thoughts racing through our minds that prevent us from fully committing to whatever we are doing.

Is this useful? Absolutely! What if it fails? That's a chance to learn and grow!

What will other people think of me? I can't wait to find out! Will other people like it? I sure hope so!

And so on. We are frequently carried away by these concerns, caught up in anxiety, in the fear of failure, and the focus on the present is immediately distorted. But there's so much more to life than that!

You've got to free yourself from distractions! Bring in a sense of utilitarianism and anxiety, and the peace and calm within you will be shattered.

So, long-term happiness is all about wisdom and ability, as well as cultivation. It's about having the wisdom to see the truth of happiness in our own hearts, not in other people's opinions or future achievements.

We also need the ability and patience to see through our own illusions and greed, to settle in the reality of the present moment, and to create our own lives little by little. When we find ourselves caught up in anxious fantasies again and again, carried away by our thoughts again and again, and swayed by outside voices again and again, we have the opportunity to admit the moments when we are shaken, to confess our greed, to accept our vulnerability, to forgive our imperfect selves, to return to reality once again, to truly feel the life in front of us, to shoulder our responsibilities, and to create the life we want!

This is the way to go! You don't have to wait around for your wishes to come true. You can experience heartfelt joy in the process of moving forward in the present, towards ultimate success. Even if you don't end up going too far, it doesn't affect the joy and happiness of the process at all!

From this perspective, everyone's life is an incredible lesson in happiness! If you can master life, you will have learned the lessons of happiness!

I really hope this has been helpful for you! I'm listening coach Xu Yanlian, so please feel free to come and chat with me!

Wishing you the very best!

Hello. From your description, I get the feeling that your happiness is based on external material needs. You need support, recognition, and appreciation from others.

But after you try, you'll feel sad because happiness is only temporary. You'll feel conflicted and helpless, which will make you very distressed. I feel for you.

Can I give the questioner a hug?

Maslow's hierarchy of needs says the most basic need is for food, clothing, and sex. I think the questioner has already met this need. But are you ever unhappy because you're hungry?

Yes.

Your hunger is something you can solve right away. We can reflect and perceive more, experience our feelings, and feel happy when our needs are met. This makes our hearts feel more stable.

Then there is the need for security.

The third level is the need to love and be loved. To feel happy, you have to learn to love and be loved.

Sometimes, it's easier to be happy when you're satisfied than when you're loved. The fourth level is the need for respect.

We all want to be respected. I suggest reading Growing in Relationships. It teaches us to put others first without losing ourselves.

The highest level of the hierarchy of needs is a sense of self-worth. This is the ultimate goal that most of us seek and pursue throughout our lives.

Many people work hard every day to improve their well-being.

Love yourself. Pay attention to yourself. Get to know yourself. Accept yourself. You are a unique being. You will experience happiness.

Happy birthday!

Hello, questioner. I'm a listening teacher. I can understand your feelings, but I don't think there's a simple answer.

I can relate to your feelings. After the initial excitement, there may be a sense of disappointment at returning to the everyday, as if those victories and achievements cannot fully satisfy your heart's longing.

Indeed, many people in life have found that external success and material gains do not necessarily bring lasting happiness.

From a psychological perspective, it can be observed that short-term happiness may often be influenced by external factors, such as rewards, praise, and immediate feedback. In contrast, long-term happiness may be more closely associated with an individual's internal psychological state, including self-acceptance, personal growth, positive relationships, and meaningful life goals.

I believe Seligman's PERMA model offers a helpful framework for understanding this concept. He suggests that lasting happiness encompasses five dimensions: positive emotions, engagement, relationships, meaning, and accomplishment.

I'd like to share a story that illustrates a point. A friend of mine achieved great success in his career, but he always felt a certain emptiness. Later, he began to participate in volunteer services to help children in the community with their studies.

While this process did not immediately result in material rewards, he experienced a profound sense of satisfaction and happiness when he observed the progress and smiles of the children. He has discovered a purpose and meaning in his life, and this pursuit of intrinsic value has enhanced his sense of well-being.

It may be helpful to consider that to achieve long-term happiness, we could pay attention to our inner voice, discover and pursue the things that really give us passion and meaning, while maintaining good interpersonal relationships and cultivating resilience in the face of difficulties and setbacks.

Perhaps it would be beneficial to shift the focus from a single achievement orientation to the overall improvement of quality of life. This could include activities such as cultivating hobbies, deepening interpersonal relationships, engaging in public welfare, and paying attention to physical and mental health.

It is worth remembering that true happiness does not lie in the pursuit of momentary pleasure, but in building a rich, meaningful, and sustainable lifestyle.

I am pleased to address this question regarding the extension of short-term happiness into long-term well-being.

"The capacity to appreciate happiness is a fundamental requirement for attaining it."

People are happiest when they appreciate the present moment. There is a succinct definition of happiness: "Contentment is happiness." Those who are content are wealthy in spirit. Being rich is a state of mind, not a state of being. If a person is poor and feels poor, it is two different things. Poverty is real when you lack the basic necessities of life.

Many individuals experience a persistent sense of financial insecurity, leading to a pervasive feeling of inner deprivation. This inner sense of deprivation cannot be compensated for by material wealth alone. Consequently, these individuals may only experience temporary happiness when they desire it. A relentless pursuit of material possessions can distort one's perception of value, leading to the belief that infinite material wealth is necessary for lasting happiness. However, this is not the case. The capacity to appreciate happiness is a prerequisite for attaining it.

This is not directly related to material wealth. Therefore, when an individual has already enjoyed a privileged life, the ability to maintain a simple state of mind and a simple lifestyle is a noteworthy quality.

"Long-term happiness – your sources of joy"

It is important to engage in a hobby that you enjoy and that you can do regularly to release your energy and provide spiritual fulfillment. It is beneficial to derive happiness from a variety of sources. Work is one such source, but it is not advisable to rely on it exclusively. If your happiness is derived solely from work, you may experience difficulties when faced with challenges at work.

It is important to note that a significant portion of one's overall happiness should be derived from engaging in leisure activities. Additionally, a harmonious family environment can contribute to an individual's overall sense of well-being.

A further source of happiness is the formation of friendships with people in your wider circle.

It is advisable to ensure that your sources of happiness are distributed evenly in order to achieve greater stability in your life. Ideally, you should aim to have at least three of these sources, as this will provide greater resilience.

It is evident that a significant proportion of the population is experiencing a pervasive sense of unhappiness. Despite the material wealth and abundance that we currently enjoy, there is a prevailing sense of existential crisis. It is important to recognise that human experience is shaped by our concerns and priorities. Our environment, including the pace of life in a busy, noisy, and crowded city, can contribute to a mindset that is preoccupied with gains and losses. This narrow focus on material things can lead to a narrow-minded outlook and a tendency to dwell on past experiences. When we do not have what we perceive to be sufficient material wealth, we experience distress. Conversely, when we have attained a level of material wealth, we may still experience discontent if we perceive it to be inadequate. This pattern of experiencing distress or discontent and then seeking to alleviate it through further material wealth can perpetuate a cycle of suffering. It is clear that material wealth, while a necessary aspect of life, does not necessarily guarantee happiness.

In conclusion, it is important to be content with what you have, to appreciate the ability to be happy, to pursue your own interests and to find happiness in many sources. It is also beneficial to avoid focusing all your attention on material things, as this will bring you happiness in many ways. It is recommended to calmly enjoy the happiness of the present moment, as this will contribute to a general sense of happiness. It is hoped that this advice will be of benefit. Life can be made simple and full of happiness.

Hello!

You can achieve lasting happiness.

From your description, it's clear you feel a sense of loneliness. Temporary happiness, such as winning a competition, is like a surge of joy in the midst of the cheers and celebrations of friends and family. However, this joy dissipates when the guests leave and the night falls.

Winning a competition is an unparalleled joy, a tidal wave of elation in the midst of cheering and celebrating friends and family. The word used here is joy, not happiness or delight.

You may think you don't feel happy very often, but there's a difference between happiness and joy.

To achieve lasting and sustained happiness, you must first have the ability to see. See what you have, such as winning the game you mentioned, with family and friends celebrating for you.

You have a lot here. You have the joy of your competition.

You have the whole game. You are excellent in every way, and you were able to compete.

You have a lot of family and friends. See the happy moments in your life.

Lasting happiness is made up of a series of ordinary little moments of happiness. You will have lasting and sustained happiness if you can feel and see the ordinary little moments of happiness in life.

Second, you must know that you are worthy and deserve it. You deserve to live your life to the fullest with a sense of satisfaction and happiness. You need to constantly enhance your sense of worthiness and entitlement.

Surprise yourself with little things in your daily life. Get rid of things you don't like.

Read the book Duan She Li.

Happiness does not enter your life from the outside; it comes from within.

The Heart Sutra states:

When the mind is free from attachment, there is no more attachment, and therefore no more fear. You will attain the ultimate nirvana when you are far removed from deluded dreams.

A mind free of worries is the key to long-lasting and sustained happiness.

If you want lasting happiness, you have to grow yourself from multiple perspectives and dimensions.

The inquirer expressed gratitude for the opportunity to engage in discourse.

From your description, it is evident that you have engaged in introspective reflection regarding the concept of happiness. Let us engage in a discourse on this subject.

1. The source of happiness is internal.

In the description, the author states, "Short-term happiness is akin to winning a competition and experiencing a surge of joy amidst the cheers and celebrations of friends and family." These experiences can indeed provide a substantial amount of psychological nourishment, such as attention, recognition, appreciation, and affirmation, in a relatively short period of time. The individual is surrounded by applause, stares, flowers, and praise, which will satisfy their inner self and make them feel happy. However, the joy dissipates when the guests leave and the night falls. Once these external conditions are removed, this sense of loneliness and desolation will strike.

Happiness is not derived from external sources; rather, it is an intrinsic quality. External factors are inherently uncertain and often require significant effort to attain. As a result, they are not easily accessible.

2. Self-satisfaction

Psychological nourishment from inner deprivation: While temporary and substantial satisfaction can indeed bring about inner excitement, external pursuits are ultimately incapable of providing complete satisfaction. Only by identifying and addressing one's inner needs can one achieve lasting fulfillment.

By observing oneself engaged in the pursuit of academic excellence, professional advancement, and material acquisition, one can discern one's true aspirations. What is it that one truly desires? To be valued, secure, recognized, appreciated, or envied?

Only by seeking within and gaining an understanding of one's true desires can one avoid the temptation of external material satisfaction. It is imperative to recognize that external material cannot fulfill inner deprivation. Only by addressing one's inner deficiencies can genuine satisfaction be achieved.

It is important to learn to recognize one's own efforts, achievements, and contributions. Appreciation and self-acknowledgment are essential for personal growth and development. Identifying and acknowledging one's own fears and insecurities is crucial for emotional well-being. Learning to support and care for oneself is vital for mental health. Being at peace with oneself and the present moment is essential for a sense of inner fulfillment. When these elements are in place, a natural flow of gratitude, contentment, and happiness emerges from within.

3. It is recommended that attention be paid to the senses.

It is recommended that one learns to focus one's attention on the sensations in one's body, and to open one's eyes, ears, nose, and taste buds every day in order to perceive the real people and things around one. One should experience the gentleness and warmth of water as it flows through one's hands, feel the texture, size, taste, and color of the food in one's mouth, and perceive with one's heart the love that people around one show.

One may posit that focusing on these real people and things will result in an increase in subjective well-being. It is proposed that happiness arises from the perception of one's own body, from genuine emotional experiences, and from an individual's intrinsic resources.

One may alter one's emotional state by focusing on one's immediate sensations and experiences, rather than dwelling on past or future narratives.

It is my hope that this response is of some assistance to you, and I extend my best wishes to you.

Hello. From your description, it is clear that you are experiencing a conflict and a sense of helplessness.

As a psychological counselor, I am going to share my understanding from a psychological perspective.

Your problem is this: fleeting happiness, such as winning a competition, is like a rush of joy felt amidst the cheers and celebrations of family and friends. But this joy dissipates when the guests leave and the night falls, as if a victory cannot change my life. I find that my friends around me are the same. They are all striving for good grades, promotions, and cars. In the pursuit of these goals, it seems that they also do not experience happiness from the heart. This is not sustainable. How can fleeting happiness be extended into long-term happiness?

First of all, the fleeting happiness you described is the satisfaction of needs at the conscious level. You get competitions, honors, and material needs.

Maslow's hierarchy of needs theory has five needs.

The most basic and achievable needs are physiological. These include eating, drinking, going to the bathroom, sleeping, and sex. When we are hungry, a delicious meal will bring us satisfaction and happiness.

When we are full and satisfied, we may still feel queasy when we see food. This is why we must learn to reflect and be aware of our inner feelings more often. We need to experience the sense of having our needs met. This kind of awareness will gradually become internalized as a sense of inner stability.

Second, you need to feel secure. This is an internal sense of stability.

It doesn't matter how big or small the house is. The sense of security comes from feeling inner emotions, being noticed, and being affirmed.

Third, you must learn to love and be loved. This means experiencing more love, caring for yourself, and adjusting your emotional experience and support when you are being neglected.

Fourth, we all need respect. We must be seen, noticed, and recognized. When our inner self-esteem and self-love are positively noticed, it also leads to a good role exchange. We learn to respect and pay attention to others in communication, have better interpersonal skills, and experience resource sharing!

Fifth, a sense of self-worth. This is the most advanced need, and we pursue it with relentless determination throughout our lives.

Make learning a lifelong goal and you'll regulate your emotions. I read every day, for example, as a psychological counselor.

This event is an invaluable resource for improving your sense of well-being and learning to love yourself!

Second, pay attention to yourself and experience your inner needs. Focus on your inner needs instead of external evaluations. Understand your own character traits, strengths and weaknesses, and your own thoughts. Set short-term and long-term goals based on yourself. The temporary happiness we experience is also the result of our hard work. Give yourself a pat on the back, give yourself more inner self-approval, experience a sense of happiness and joy, continue moving forward, and persevere to achieve a sense of self-worth.

Third, learn to love yourself. Express your thoughts so that you can be seen, heard, and understood. Be grateful for external support and help. If you are not understood, learn to deal with it yourself. When there are setbacks and failures, accept your limitations and accept yourself. That is being better at being yourself!

The world and I love you. You must learn to love yourself, understand yourself, accept yourself, and be the most authentic version of yourself. You are also a unique individual. Relaxing is the key to happiness and pleasure. You can do this!

Hi, I'm Jingxian.

From what you've said, it seems like you're caught in a bit of a pickle. You feel like happiness is always short-lived, but you're not sure how to make it last longer.

From what you've said, it seems like you think happiness mostly comes from the outside world. Things like getting promoted at work, getting a pay rise, buying a house, or buying a car. But have you noticed that external rewards are always fleeting and beyond our control?

We don't know when it will come or when it will go, which is why it is often called "impermanence." What follows is an emotional experience of gain and loss. When these external material and spiritual beautiful experiences come, we will be happy for a while. If we don't get them, we will feel frustrated, lost, and even defeated.

Even if you get it, you won't be happy for long.

Maybe the questioner hasn't explored the happiness that comes from the inner world. It's a feeling like, "I'm already complete." The good experiences brought about by inner abundance won't fluctuate drastically with changes in external material, people, or circumstances.

So, what's the source of inner happiness? It's love!

People are loved because they love others, and giving is a great way to gain happiness and joy. Do you do something without worrying about whether you'll get a reward? Do you do something just because you want to, without worrying about the result?

Giving love is not just an ethereal concept; it's very concrete and delicate. For example, holding the door open for others, waiting for the next person in line in the elevator, giving a smile, saying gentle words, positive words, praising and encouraging others, helping others, filial piety to parents, accompanying them, taking care of their lives and emotions, and doing public welfare, etc. All of these can make us experience the beauty, and it's spontaneous and continuous.

Another key thing to remember is to be grateful. Keeping a gratitude diary is a great way to record all the love and beauty you feel.

If you learn to be grateful, you'll see that love is all around us. It's a beautiful experience to perceive love, and it also gives us more motivation to share our inner love and light with others. This positive interaction keeps us in a high-energy state.

If you give love away, you'll get it back in spades.

How might we achieve a long-lasting and sustained sense of happiness?

We all experience a wide range of emotions in our lives. If we were to classify these emotions as anxiety, worry, helplessness, confusion, excitement, happiness, joy, and so on,

I believe that happiness and joy should make us feel happier. However, the feeling of happiness, contentment, and joy

While they may last for a period of time, they will gradually fade away. This is similar to the experience of working hard to get a good job with a decent income, which can help you realize your value.

It is only natural to feel the most joy when you first get a job. However, after a while, the work itself can become less exciting and you may find yourself feeling less enthusiastic.

It's natural to feel that the joy you felt when you got the job won't last forever. The same can be said of other things.

This feeling of joy and happiness has a limited duration. So, it would be beneficial to explore ways to achieve a long-lasting and sustained sense of happiness.

I kept exploring and finally one day I discovered the secret.

It would be beneficial to consider what negative emotions like anxiety, worry, helplessness, and confusion may bring us. In most cases, they may contribute to feelings of unhappiness.

Such emotions can lead to a loss of motivation and a lack of interest in activities that were previously enjoyed.

If you find yourself in a situation where you are experiencing negative emotions, it can be challenging to know how to respond.

You may feel overwhelmed and uncertain about the future.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider the days ahead. It's understandable to feel worried.

On one occasion when I was experiencing a particularly low point,

I must admit that I am not entirely confident about the future. This is because I have been married to my husband for over ten years.

At this moment, I am still unable to fully perceive his love. I find myself contemplating the possibility of seeking an alternative path.

The more I reflect on the situation, the more I feel overwhelmed with a sense of helplessness and pain. I am concerned about how I will navigate our relationship in the years to come, whether that be 20 or 40 years or even longer.

I was feeling quite vulnerable and was tempted to run away. On that day, when I was at my lowest point, I took a moment to reflect in the mirror.

I try to reassure myself that I am complete in myself and that I will be happy. I remind myself that there is someone in the world who loves me and that he will wait for me. I hope that I will become a happy person because I believe I am worthy of love and that I have noble qualities, I am kind, and I am beautiful.

I gently ran my fingers through my hair and told myself, "Your hair is long and thick, your eyes are clear and bright, your skin is smooth and glowing, and your smile is so beautiful when your mouth curves upwards."

You deserve to be loved, and it is important to love yourself. The world is also full of love for you.

I believe that God is also looking after me and that God is also loving me. Even if no one around you is related to you.

Perhaps it would be helpful to remember that you are still you, and that you can still love yourself completely.

"

Once I had finished telling myself this, I felt a warmth throughout my entire body, and I truly felt that God was also loving me.

From that moment on, gazing into my own eyes in the mirror, I experienced a profound sense of joy.

My eyes brimmed with tears of joy, and in them I felt the immense happiness and joy that comes with having this creative power. I feel that in the future, whenever I encounter any negative emotions or any insurmountable difficulties,

I will try to remind myself of this positive phrase, which I can use to encourage myself.

I will try to find comfort in these positive words. This passage seems to have endless energy, and I hope it will accompany me until the day I grow old.

It has endless energy, and it will accompany me until the day I grow old. I am no longer alone, and I am learning to face my fears and worries with a sense of calm and confidence.

I believe that this feeling of happiness has risen within me, and that I have created it myself.

I would describe it as my capacity to generate positive emotions for myself.

Good morning,

As previously stated, transient happiness can provide a sense of fulfillment and satisfaction. However, this happiness is often short-lived and does not result in lasting changes. To explore strategies for achieving sustained happiness, the following suggestions are provided:

First, ensure your own needs are met. When an individual is able to meet their own needs, they will continue to feel happy.

Maslow's hierarchy of needs identifies five categories of human needs: physiological, safety, love and belonging, respect, and self-fulfillment. By prioritizing and gradually satisfying these needs, individuals can achieve a sense of happiness.

Secondly, it is important to accept pain as a natural part of life. While positive experiences such as winning a competition or reuniting with loved ones are undoubtedly joyful, it is essential to recognise that these instances are not the norm. In order to maintain a positive outlook, it is necessary to accept that the majority of time is spent in a less favourable state.

It is precisely because of the ordinary and the pain that happiness appears. Therefore, it is important to accept the pain in life and overcome it in order to achieve happiness.

3. Moderate self-focus. Frequently, an excessive focus on one's own happiness can also result in unhappiness, as it leads to excessive comparison with others.

However, the ability to enjoy a hot meal, a warm quilt, or the protection of an umbrella on a rainy day is a source of immense happiness. If, on this basis, you feel that you have not yet achieved the purchase of a house or a car, then this is tantamount to placing limitations on yourself and becoming an unhappy person.

Fourth, identify opportunities for beauty in your daily life. While positive experiences are likely to occur frequently, it is beneficial to focus on appreciating the beauty around you when pursuing goals.

For instance, receiving a compliment from another individual or consuming a personal favorite food can provide an internal sense of satisfaction and a general feeling of happiness.

I hope this information is useful to you. Best regards,

Good day, question asker. I can see the confusion you are facing right now. Please accept my best regards.

Frequently, individuals experience a lack of happiness in the present moment due to their pursuit of material possessions.

You received a promotion, but you are not satisfied because it is possible that you are only a manager, but you discover that another individual has already been promoted to president of the company.

You purchased a vehicle, a compact automobile, but discovered that another individual had acquired a luxury vehicle.

These are material things. Pursuing them will not lead to happiness, as there will always be individuals who are more successful than you.

I have therefore ceased pursuing these material things, as I am aware that seeking outwardly is an endless pursuit.

If you wish to achieve a state of happiness, it is essential to learn to focus on your own inner resources.

As a case in point, I would recommend reading more books, with a particular focus on those related to psychology, as a means of enhancing your knowledge and personal development.

The more you read, the more knowledge you will gain, and it will always be yours. It will not be affected by external factors.

I believe that maintaining a gratitude journal on a daily basis is an effective method for recording and appreciating the positive experiences in one's life.

When we seek within ourselves, we can be confident that we will retain ownership of that knowledge.

It can be reasonably deduced that reading more often will result in increased spiritual happiness. Similarly, when we are financially secure, we will also be happy.

Hello! I can see that you're confused and that you're thinking about your life. I can also see that you're looking for ways to achieve lasting happiness.

First and foremost, it is imperative to understand that happiness is not an external condition, but rather a subjective psychological experience. It is not determined by material wealth or social status, but rather by one's perception of oneself and the world around them.

Our attitude towards things has a significant impact on our sense of well-being. When something goes wrong, look at it from a different perspective and you will undoubtedly find a positive aspect hidden within.

The classic half-full/half-empty story illustrates this perfectly. A pessimist would say, "There's only half a glass of water left," while an optimist would say, "There's still half a glass of water left." This optimistic attitude makes us happier and more content!

Second, our sense of well-being is also related to self-awareness. Each of us has our own strengths and weaknesses. We must learn to accept and cherish our uniqueness if we want to improve our sense of well-being.

We must recognize that we often pay too much attention to what other people think, and we neglect our own inner needs. It is essential that we get to know ourselves better and find our own interests and values so that we can truly live our lives to the fullest and feel inner contentment and happiness.

Furthermore, it is crucial to acknowledge the significant impact of interpersonal relationships on our happiness. When we have good interpersonal relationships, we receive emotional support and a sense of belonging, which undeniably enhances our sense of well-being.

Maintaining good communication and interaction with close people makes us feel happier and more content. Chat with friends and family more. Share each other's lives and moods. This enhances the relationship and makes our lives more fulfilling and better.

Setting goals and working towards them also enhances our sense of well-being. When we have a clear goal and achieve it step by step, we feel happy and satisfied.

Set yourself some small goals and work hard to achieve them!

Happiness is simple. Use your heart to feel and cherish every beautiful moment in life. This will make you happy. I hope this gives you inspiration and helps you become a happier person.