How should such family conflicts be handled and how can parents' arguments be reconciled?

My parents used to have a lot of disagreements when I was growing up, so I worked really hard to get into university and leave home. Of course, in our family, it was mainly my mother who scolded my father more, so I would always stand by my father's side to protect him.

Since I started studying psychology, I've realized that I've been meddling too much. I've always been my parents' parents, thinking that my father shouldn't be so weak and always get scolded by my mother, and that my mother shouldn't be so fierce and quarrelsome every day. But in the end, I realized that their personalities were shaped by their life circumstances, and they grew up in their own environment, learning to live this way. They also had a lot of reasons to do so, and that's okay!

I think you're really lucky, actually. You've already realized that your parents' disagreements have nothing to do with you or your grandparents. They're just the spark that ignites the fire. So, you see, you're very fortunate. You've already learned in your life that you don't need to fret over things that have nothing to do with you and that you can't control them either, right?

From what you've told me, it seems like your mom was the one who offered to lend your brother money to start a vineyard. I'm just wondering, what made her decide to do that? Was it just that she wanted to help her brother out financially?

Or do you want to get involved? I get the feeling you might be guessing about your father's attitude, but I could be wrong!

I totally get it. It's totally normal to worry about these things. I just want to reassure you that no one actually offered to lend money, and your mother may have just said it as a favor. You also said that no one actually asked for a loan, right? And as for the parents arguing and the embarrassment of having your grandmother living with them, those are just concerns at your own level.

I think something similar may have happened in your family before, and it left a deep impression on you, which is why you're so worried, right?

Let's think about it together. First of all, this hasn't happened yet. We are children, so just be a good child!

Second, even if it does happen, you said it yourself, it's the parents' business, right? It's the parents' business, and as children, we really shouldn't get involved, should we?

If your mom wants to lend money to her brother, it's her decision, so let's respect her wishes! If your dad argues with your mom about this, it's also his right, so let's respect his opinion too.

And you have also grown and learned from their way of getting along. You know that in a couple, you can't just make decisions on your own. You need to discuss and decide with the other person, just like you would if you were borrowing money. You'd ask the other person if it's okay, right? And you really long for family harmony. Wouldn't it be great if you could live harmoniously with your partner in your later life, at least without arguing and with more communication?

So, from this perspective, we really do need to thank our parents for educating us in their own way and allowing us to grow!

You see, you are such a wise child, and I applaud your ability to understand. You're so clever!

Greetings,

The host

A careful reading of the post indicates that the author is troubled by family conflicts and has suffered significantly from them since childhood. The author has experienced considerable distress, yet has demonstrated courage in expressing their feelings and seeking assistance on the platform. This will undoubtedly facilitate a deeper understanding and recognition of the author and their family, enabling appropriate adjustments to be made.

Subsequently, I will present my observations and thoughts from the aforementioned post, which may assist you in adopting a more diverse perspective.

1. Learn to distinguish between issues.

As observed in the aforementioned post, the subject in question believed that their parents' arguments were a result of their own actions, leading to significant feelings of self-blame and guilt. However, as they matured, they came to recognize that their parents' arguments were largely a reflection of their own parents' issues.

Firstly, I concur with the aforementioned views. Nevertheless, I would like to examine with you the potential courses of action when confronted with parental arguments.

The concept of subject separation is a fundamental tenet in psychology. It entails the ability to distinguish between one's own responsibilities and those of one's parents.

It is essential to comprehend the distinction between one's own responsibilities and those of one's parents. Upon reflection on this concept, it is evident that the original poster has already achieved this understanding.

Some individuals may perceive this approach as overly impersonal.

In light of these considerations, it is pertinent to inquire whether, after the passage of numerous years, our efforts to reconcile our parents' conflicts have yielded any tangible outcomes. It is conceivable that the emergence of change may have occurred at an earlier juncture had they both recognized the potential for their own shortcomings to impede the process.

From this vantage point, the situation can be seen as originally being one of two individuals experiencing distress and engaging in conflict. However, with the involvement of a third party, the dynamic shifted, and the pain became that of three individuals.

The pain appears to have intensified, and the problem may have become more serious.

It is imperative to recognize that individuals cannot be compelled to alter their behaviors. When attempting to distinguish between the various issues at hand, it becomes evident that parents engage in conflictual discourse as a means of resolving disputes and that they must assume accountability for their own actions.

At this juncture, it is imperative that we prioritize our own well-being.

It is imperative to assume responsibility for one's own life and emotional needs. This will mitigate the impact of family conflicts on one's emotional state.

Naturally, following the separation, the issue is not ignored; rather, the responsibility for resolving it is returned to the parents. Assistance is provided only to the extent that is feasible, given the circumstances.

It is of the utmost importance to prioritize one's own well-being.

2. Accept your parents for who they are.

We have previously addressed the issue of separation. We will now turn our attention to the topic of acceptance. It is important to accept your parents for who they are.

How should this be interpreted? In essence, it entails accepting one's parents for who they truly are and acknowledging the manner in which they interact with each other, which often involves heated discussions.

When discussing this topic, it can be quite confusing. Why not consider a change if arguing is perceived as being so painful?

The perception that arguing is painful and that happy relationships are harmonious leads to the assumption that arguing is bad and unhappy.

It is possible that our perception may be suitable for ourselves but not for our parents.

It is important to note that no single theory can be universally applied. While it is true that parents often engage in conflict, and that such interactions may be painful, it is also true that they have been doing so for many years and have remained together. This suggests that they have a strong connection.

Or perhaps their intimacy outweighs the pain. It could be argued that arguing is just one way for them to deal with conflicts.

It can therefore be posited that accepting one's parents for who they are and relinquishing expectations of them may facilitate a greater sense of peace.

3. Practical Problems

In the aforementioned post, the host addressed the issue of borrowing money in a realistic context. It is evident that a composed and prudent approach is essential for navigating this challenge. The host also mentioned that your father would not concur with this proposal.

One might inquire as to the rationale behind the assumption that the father will not concur. Is this merely a conjecture, or has the father indeed expressed such a viewpoint?

From a psychological perspective, it is often the case that our thoughts represent our own thoughts, rather than those of others. Consequently, it may be beneficial to identify an appropriate opportunity to engage in dialogue with our father.

Similarly, when faced with a mother's behavior, it may be beneficial to consider her psychological motives.

It would be beneficial to consider the psychological motives behind one's parents' behavior, as this may provide insight into how to effectively address the issue at hand. Rather than attempting to immediately resolve the problem, it may be more productive to gather information and formulate a plan of action.

It is important to avoid hasty judgments and instead engage in active listening without preconceptions. This approach may potentially lead to the discovery of new insights.

It is my hope that this has been somewhat helpful and inspiring for you. I am a heart exploration coach, Zeng Chen.

Should further communication be required or further clarification sought, the option of a one-to-one chat service, accessible via the 'Find a Coach' function, should be considered. This service is designed to facilitate more in-depth exploration and assistance.

My child, I hug you for facing difficulties in this family for so many years. Every family has difficulties. From what you've described, most families are like this, living amidst daily chaos.

Your parents often quarrel, but the family is still together. They still have feelings for each other.

They don't get along, and because they understand each other so well, they fight about things that hurt the most, just like people in love. It's a good description of your parents to say that they love and hate each other, which is hard on you.

Children can help parents get along. You may not have felt this way as a child, but you can play this role now. Do you always take the blame? This is an art. When conflicts are focused on you, it seems like there are fewer conflicts between them.

They love you, but they have a strange way of showing it.

1. Remind your mother that she should talk to your father about borrowing money. You're an adult now.

Your mother will value your opinion. Persuade her to discuss this with your father.

If your cousin really comes to borrow money and your father only finds out, there will be a fight. You can also test your father. If your cousin is short of money and wants to borrow money to start a business, will your father help him?

Test your father's attitude to make it easier to talk to your mother. 3. You are responsible for creating a family atmosphere.

Sometimes you have to be creative to get their attention. You can do this by getting their attention before they argue, or by getting them to stop arguing. When you were young, you were caught in the middle. Now you can help to reduce conflicts.

You say your family argues a lot. You can talk to your parents separately. They're getting older and should stop competing. They should focus on staying calm and taking care of themselves. I think your parents will listen if you ask them to.

Dear questioner,

Hi, I'm Kelly!

It's so lovely to see you grow up! You've taken on so many of your parents' emotions, while also constantly growing yourself.

After growing up, I gradually came to understand that they were using me as a scapegoat. Their quarrels had nothing to do with me or my grandparents. It was just because they couldn't tolerate each other. They knew exactly what would hurt the other's feelings, but they never learned.

After reading your words, I have to say that I admire you so much for having your own thinking and judgment skills, as well as a clear understanding of your parents' emotions and patterns of getting along with each other, as well as their communication styles. It's so great that you've been able to identify what's going on and see how it's causing the couple's conflicts to persist.

Your parents' problems are theirs, and they can argue until now that you were a child. This shows that there's nothing major wrong with their relationship, which is great! As the saying goes, it's not scary when a couple argues, it's scary when they stop talking.

This marriage of your parents may allow you to see their strengths and weaknesses, and it will also bring you more growth.

Parents are just ordinary people, bless their hearts. When I was young, I hated it when they fought, and I was scared of it. But then I grew up and realized that they have lived a good life, and arguing is the norm in most families. I worried when my parents were young that they would divorce, but I didn't expect their relationship to be better in their later years than when they were younger. And my parents are still in good health, thank the Lord!

So when you see problems, remember that they are their problems, and you just need to do your best. You've got this!

It's so important to remain neutral, my friend.

I just wanted to say that I think it's great that your cousin is contracting the vineyard at his uncle's house!

I'm so proud of your parents after reading this!

You're such a wonderful child, and I agree with you wholeheartedly. Perhaps your mother is just being polite, or maybe she wants to earn more money to make life better for the family, or perhaps she's just being kind and helping her relatives.

Dad has every right to be involved in the family's financial arrangements.

You can take the initiative to communicate with your mother. She'll be so happy to hear your thoughts and worries! And remember, you're also a part of the family. You're doing this to maintain family harmony, and that's a wonderful thing!

You might understand your mom better than anyone else, so you could buy her a little something, help her out with whatever she needs, and if you can, chat with her more to show her how much you appreciate all she does and to help her feel more relaxed.

I'm so proud of you for thinking this through before your grandmother arrived. It shows that you're a thoughtful, capable, and reasonable person.

I really think it's not a good idea for you to go to your cousin. It might cause some problems with relatives. It would be much better for you to talk to your mum.

Every family will have these kinds of problems, but you have your own boundaries, and your parents have you as an outsider. I truly believe that your family will get better and better because you are growing up!

Also, it's best to avoid getting emotionally involved and just stay neutral.

I know you can do it! Take the initiative to communicate more with your parents, so that they can see your amazing growth. You've got this!

Hi, I'm Kelly!

I love you, world! And I love you, too, my dear friend.

From the descriptions provided, it is evident that you have undergone significant personal growth. During a child's developmental period, the relationship between parents within the original family unit serves as the external environment. An uncoordinated relationship between a child's parents can have a detrimental impact on the child's psychological well-being. Prior to puberty, particularly during early childhood, such a relationship can instill feelings of panic and fear in the child. I acknowledge that I am responsible for this situation. My actions have caused the parents to engage in conflictual interactions. Over time, as children mature, they tend to become accustomed to their parents' communication patterns and may become emotionally detached. This phenomenon is commonly referred to as emotional isolation. Now that you have reached adulthood, you have begun to actively engage in family discussions and express a desire to resolve conflicts. This is a clear indication of your inner growth and maturity.

Let us consider your mother's approach to this matter, which is a point that often gives rise to disagreement between parents. It is evident that your mother's actions have created a certain degree of ambiguity regarding the boundaries of her role. As a family therapist, I can offer insight into the various forms that a family structure can take. The first is the core family, which encompasses parents and children. Each individual belongs to a nuclear family. The second is the nuclear family, which includes grandparents. They represent the parents' nuclear family. The third is the siblings of the parents. Your mother has taken the initiative to manage her brother's affairs. This raises a number of questions. One such question is why she has taken this step. There is also a meaning behind psychology, which we will not discuss at this time. Your mother's approach is not easily understood. Your father is also very angry. This situation represents a mother crossing the line, taking the initiative to assume responsibility for the affairs of another family. It is important to recognize that behind your mother's actions there are some unconscious behaviors.

It would be beneficial to return to the task of resolving the issues at hand. The manner in which your parents communicate has remained consistent for an extended period, resulting in the formation of a fixed pattern and way of thinking. During your childhood, it would be advantageous to comprehend and communicate with your mother privately. Allow her to express her thoughts regarding her actions, and you should express your concerns about her actions, including your attitude towards your grandmother and your father's attitude towards this matter. Communicate with your mother in a calm and peaceful manner, refraining from introducing emotions or judgments (accusations or criticism). This will enable her to re-sense the thoughts behind her words or actions, and you will be better positioned to assist her and the family. Your father's approach is to argue with your mother, which is not an effective solution. When we argue about right and wrong, emotions take over our brains. Without thinking, we are likely to make things worse. Given your academic background in psychology, it would be prudent to consider an alternative approach.

I extend to you a gesture of affectionate embrace, acknowledging your maturation and initiation into familial assistance. Let us endeavor to restore the domestic environment to one of benevolence and concord. Let us persevere in this endeavor together.

Hi, I'm Ying Wang, a psychological counselor.

I can tell you love your parents and are very respectful. At the same time, I can also tell you're worried, helpless, and hopeless about your parents being in constant conflict.

But I want to show you what's really going on behind these superficial appearances.

As a kid, you saw your parents argue and thought it was your fault. You even thought about trading your life for their marital happiness. As you grew up, you moved away from this self-blame and started trying to help your parents solve their problems. Since you were a child, you've been playing the role of the savior, making yourself responsible for your parents' marital happiness. You try every means to solve the problem and hope that your parents can live in peace with each other.

I get it. As a daughter, you want your parents to be happy and do well. If they're not doing well, you feel like you should do something to help them.

I just want to say that you should respect their decision. It's their marital status, and they have a right to choose. If they feel that arguing is bad and want to get rid of this kind of pain, they will solve it themselves. As their child, you can never repay them for their kindness, but you can't make either of them happy.

Everyone has the right to decide whether they want to be happy or not. All you need to do is do your best and not get caught up in trying to save them.

I think you've also had the idea of being a good girl since you were a kid. It seems like it's become your identity to save your parents' marriage and to sacrifice for them. This time, because your mom borrowed money from your uncle, which caused an argument between your parents, as a good daughter, you need to stand up and find a way to solve the problem so that your parents can calm down and your grandmother won't be upset. If you don't do this, you seem to feel uneasy inside because it threatens your sense of identity and value.

This might challenge some long-held beliefs. You might think that what you did was just what a daughter should do, without much thought. But if you think about it calmly, is that really the case?

If you've always been seen as a good girl, your parents would praise you for being so sensible. But these praises would actually hurt you. You'd try to live up to these expectations and your childhood would end early. This would give you a sense of responsibility, that you are responsible for the happiness of your parents' marriage. If you don't, it means that you are not good enough and have not done your job properly.

But you still want to do this thing (I hope your parents have a happy marriage), which isn't your responsibility. So the crux of the problem is still with you, and your starting point is still selfish.

So, how can you move away from the role of savior?

First, remember that when there are conflicts in your parents' marriage, it's not your place to get involved. This is their business, and you shouldn't try to save their marriage. Think about why you feel the need to do this. It's probably because you've been a rescuer since childhood.

When you become aware of this unconscious motivation, you'll be able to control it. Then, take care of yourself and let go of this obsession.

Over time, you'll start to see things more clearly and be able to handle their arguments better. If you're not there to help, and they're not depending on you, they'll learn to deal with things themselves and things will start to improve.

To put it another way, if you cut the energy link between you and your parents, you'll both benefit.

Of course, as a daughter, you can think of ways to make your parents happy when they're arguing, but you can't solve the problems that caused the argument.

It's important to remember that while children have a responsibility to be filial, they don't have the responsibility or ability to solve their parents' marital problems or bear their sorrow and suffering.

I hope my answer is helpful for you, and I wish you the best.

How should I handle these family conflicts and how can I help my parents work through their arguments?

From childhood to adulthood, my parents often had disagreements. When I was young, I often felt like I was the cause of their arguments. I even wondered if they would stop arguing if I died. As I grew up, I gradually understood that they were using me as a scapegoat. Their arguments had nothing to do with me or my grandparents. They simply could not tolerate each other. They knew exactly what would hurt the other person's feelings, but they never learned from their mistakes. For example, my cousin at my uncle's house said that he didn't have the money to take over the vineyard. He didn't take the initiative to ask for a loan. My mother said that if he took over more land, he could earn more money. She said that she would lend him the money if the costs were not enough. However, my mother didn't realize that my parents had earned this money together. My father would not agree to lend money to others without consulting with my mother. Since my uncle's family had a precedent of not repaying borrowed money, I was not sure if I could get the money back if I gave it to them.

On top of that, my grandmother was planning to move back to my house in a few days. If they argued again over the 20,000 yuan, my grandmother

Dear questioner,

I'm sure you had a tough time growing up with your parents fighting all the time. I bet you felt sad and even thought about killing yourself when you were little because you thought your parents were fighting because of you.

Luckily, you're a strong person who has been able to persevere through this. You've gained a lot of resilience and are eager to help your parents resolve their differences.

You think that because of the cousin's vineyard, there's a chance your parents will argue again, so you want to do something to stop it. The cousin just said he has no money, not that he has to borrow money. Plus, they didn't pay back the money they borrowed from your family before, so they probably won't ask for it this time.

On top of that, Mum only said that as a polite response and she would never actually lend him the money. Maybe we should focus on the fact that Mum and Dad argue a lot.

Arguing is a real problem, especially when it comes to couples. A lot of people start arguing with the intention of solving a problem, but before long they're attacking each other.

Arguing like this can easily damage relationships, but holding it inside is also pretty upsetting. During a live broadcast, Xu Manman and Li Yuwei discussed how to argue, and they summed up a lot of useful experience, which they'd like to share with you here.

First, describe your feelings more and label the other person less. When we have a falling out with someone in our daily lives, we often use expressions like, "You always," or "You are just," or "Someone."

For instance, if your mother really lends money to her uncle's cousin, your father will likely be upset when he finds out. He might scold her like this: "You always make decisions on your own!" When we're angry, it's easy to use such extreme words or label the other person.

These kinds of comments might seem powerful, but the reality is that when we include subjective comments in our descriptions, the other person will feel criticized and become defensive. This can create a rift between us.

One way to improve the situation is to focus more on your feelings, less on the other person's actions, and to avoid labeling them. For example, Dad could say something like this: I understand that you want to help your family, and we are all in this together.

But you shouldn't do it without checking with me first, because our money is part of the joint marital estate, and lending it to other people without my consent makes me feel like I'm not being respected. When couples communicate like this, arguments turn from pure "attacks" into a genuine "connection."

Second, be aware of whether you're viewing the situation as a victim-persecutor dynamic.

When an argument starts, it's easy to get caught up in going over old ground: how many mistakes did the other person make, how badly did they make me feel, how did they damage our relationship? After doing the sums, we often come to the conclusion that they did it on purpose to make me feel bad.

Basically, we're both playing the victim, making the other person the persecutor. The relationship gets more and more unequal, and communication gets more and more rigid. The person who feels victimized will do their best to defend themselves out of fear.

The persecutor, on the other hand, will avoid the other person because they dislike them. This makes the two sides of the argument like characters in a TV drama, with each argument being similar to the last. Neither side can see the other's true emotions and needs.

If you feel like the other person is out to get you, take a moment to pause and think about why you're feeling this way. It's okay to acknowledge that you're feeling victimized, but try not to let it turn into a blame game.

For instance, if you were bullied by a colleague at work or criticized by your boss.

Third, come up with a solution together.

Once you've shared your feelings, it's time to start problem-solving. Come up with some practical solutions together.

Using positive and specific language makes it clear to the other person what we want and reduces their resistance. Here are two tips: First, replace "don't" with "I hope." For example, if Dad says, "Don't make decisions without consulting me,"

You can suggest that he change it to, "I hope you can discuss it with me next time before borrowing money." Using positive and specific language like this makes it clear to the other person what we want and reduces their resistance.

The second tip is to replace "you must" with "is it okay?" This way, you can reduce the sense of demand and pressure on the other person.

Finally, I'd like to share a quote from the self-psychologist Kohut: "Determined without hostility" is a kind and healthy attitude when dealing with conflict in a relationship. It means that you're not hostile towards the other person, but you still insist on expressing your needs. With this attitude, you can handle arguments and enjoy a free and equal relationship.

I hope this helps, and I wish you all the best.

Dear Sir/Madam, I have read your question and I perceive you to be a loving child. You appear to have a strong bond with your mother and father, as well as with your grandmother and uncle. It is evident that you desire harmony within your family and a positive relationship between all members.

In the view of the psychologist Adler, a significant proportion of our difficulties originate from our interpersonal relationships. Our interactions with our parents and with those around us can be defined as a variety of interpersonal relationships.

If we can instill respect and empathy into our love for our parents and those around us, this kind of worry will be alleviated significantly. This is what Adler meant by "being in community," which entails putting oneself in the other person's shoes and learning to feel empathy.

In addition, Adler posited that a person's true maturity is not contingent on age, but rather on three key factors. One of these is:

It is imperative to recognize that each individual bears responsibility for their own actions and circumstances.

As previously stated, the relationship between your mother and your uncle, and the relationship between your father and your mother, is a matter for them to resolve independently. Your mother is concerned for your uncle and believes he may encounter difficulties in establishing a business, potentially limiting his ability to contribute. However, she is in a position to provide financial assistance. This incident has the potential to influence her decision-making. Our objective is to persuade your mother of the implications of supporting your uncle, enabling her to evaluate the merits of doing so. Otherwise, she may face the outcome you have outlined. If she persists in this course of action, it is important to respect her decision.

Should your father become angry, you may attempt to persuade him once more. Similarly, if your grandmother is displeased, you may also attempt to persuade her. This is an act of good intention, and you are capable of doing so. However, it is not within our power to make decisions for other individuals.

Good morning, host. Thank you for the opportunity to address your question. How do you prevent a potential conflict from escalating?

It is not possible to extinguish a fire; the objective is to manage the extent of the resulting explosion. Disputes may arise due to differing interests.

If you wish to improve family relations without spending a significant amount of money, you will need to be prepared to invest approximately 20,000 yuan.

The underlying issue can be traced back to the relationship between the two parents. It is likely that, if your mother made this decision, she was in a frame of mind where she was motivated to help her brother and did not consider the implications.

However, people tend to think about themselves, and your father will likely hold your mother responsible. After this incident, it's evident that your parents have not changed or grown much in their relationship. They continue to engage in blame, hold each other responsible, and pick on each other.

If you indicate that it is challenging to alter the dynamics between your parents, you can only modify your own perceptions and thoughts to influence them and rise above them.

For example, if a member of the family makes a mistake, the family should support that individual. Only if the individual feels understood will they realize that their actions may have been impulsive. This will prevent them from focusing their energy on dealing with other family members. Your mother probably feels that no one understands her. She may also feel that her brotherly love makes her feel good and warm. This may result in her being proactive and helpful.

If the family truly understands, loves, and is tolerant of her (as we all are imperfect), will she also actively work for the family and for you?

Good day, host.

From the landlord's account, we can see that the landlord was a sensible and understanding child. I believe this is something to be commended.

Every family has its own challenges and difficulties. It is not uncommon for families to experience conflicts.

It is important to recognise that each family has its own way of resolving conflicts, and that the consequences can vary considerably.

As children, we may sometimes find ourselves in the position of having to navigate our parents' conflicts. How should we approach such situations?

How might we best help to mediate their quarrels?

It is important to accept both the original family and the parents.

It is perhaps inevitable that we are affected in one way or another by our original family.

It is also worth noting that parents often educate the next generation based on their own perceptions.

Try to accept their limitations and forgive them for the impact they had on you as a child.

I believe this will help the host feel more at peace.

I believe that eliminating resentment towards your parents is also a kind of spiritual practice in the process of growing up.

You are entitled to express your opinion, but it is important to respect their decision.

For instance, this time my uncle's cousin mentioned that he was unable to take over the vineyard and did not proactively express his need for a loan.

My mother suggested that if I take on more contracts, I could potentially earn more money, and if the costs are not sufficient, I could consider borrowing from you. However, my mother is unaware that my parents earned this money together, and my father is not inclined to agree to this arrangement. It might not be the most appropriate for him to take the initiative to lend money to others without discussing it with me first.

Given the precedent of my uncle not repaying a loan, I am uncertain as to whether I would be able to recover the funds if I were to provide them.

In a few days, my grandmother will be moving back in with me. I am concerned that there might be another disagreement over the 20,000 yuan.

Given her advanced age, there is a possibility that Grandma may become upset, which could be awkward for her.

The host's ideas are very thoughtful and mature.

I believe it would be beneficial to consider the perspectives and feelings of all parties involved, including my father, mother, uncle, and grandmother.

Ultimately, the landlord can only represent the landlord themselves.

It is to be expected that everyone will have their own position and ideas on the matter.

It might be helpful for the host to share their views with their parents.

Ultimately, however, the decision is for the parents to make after discussion.

Ultimately, the decision is theirs to make.

3. Strive to be a good person and continuously improve yourself.

As members of the family, we all have our own roles and responsibilities to play.

It would be beneficial for parents to work hard and take care of the elderly and children.

It would be beneficial for children to study hard, take on some household chores they are able to manage, and assist their parents in reducing their workload.

A family like this will likely enjoy a harmonious and hopeful dynamic, which could potentially lead to success in various endeavors.

If you do well and improve yourself,

As you grow and develop, you will gain the capacity to contribute to your family in a meaningful way.

I believe the reason you feel so painful and difficult now may be unrelated to your parents' quarrels.

It is understandable that the young host's heart may be affected by the quarrels of adults.

As you mature and gain inner strength,

I believe that parents will also respect the advice of the host and accept the host's suggestions.

I hope that your life will be happy!

I am warm, June, and I send my love to you and to the world!

Hello,

You sense that these concerns are within you, creating a sense of unease and helplessness in the face of the present circumstances.

It would seem that your mother has a tendency to lend money to her brother without fully considering the implications for the rest of the family.

It seems that your mother, in the challenging family dynamic, has the potential for growth as well.

As a daughter, you have your own insights and observations, but perhaps your mother is unable to fully consider other people's opinions when it comes to taking care of her brother. It seems that the more your opinion and your father's opinion are heard, the less she listens.

It appears that her brother's success may also be tied to her own success.

It is not uncommon for children to experience anxiety when they witness their parents engaged in conflict.

From what you've written about your childhood, it seems that you felt powerless. It's fair to say that growing up well is not easy.

Indeed, you have already identified the crux of the matter.

You also express concern about the well-being of this individual in the family and whether they may experience unhappiness.

In an era of constant development and an increasingly egalitarian society,

It is important to remember that we all have a responsibility to take control of our own happiness.

It is important to exercise your abilities, take responsibility for your own happiness, and bless your mother's happiness. However, it is also crucial to respect your mother's opinions and preferences, while maintaining your own autonomy and decisions. This approach aligns with the principles of filial piety, which is a central aspect of Chinese culture.

Let us strive to carry in our hearts a human conscience, a conscience to improve social mores, and self-care in action. In this way, we can help to heal more of our daughters' wounds from their original families, support those who wish to walk out of closed families, encourage those who are moving towards their true selves, and benefit the next generation.

I believe you did your best.

It would be beneficial to calm your emotions, cut through the obstacles, and ride out the storm. You may find it helpful to embrace yourself and your beauty.

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"You should fly to your mountain like a bird." A life that is not exploited will eventually see the light. - Psychology Articles - Yi Psychology (xinli001.com)

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As a certified writer, I would be honored if you could find the time to read my self-healing articles, which are published on Yixinli.

I am a One Psychology listener, 3cats. If you would like to talk, please click on my profile picture. I will do my best to be there for you, to listen to you, and to encourage you to love yourself.