How to break up with a boyfriend who has depression?

Dear Question Asker, After reviewing your inquiry, I comprehend the distress and concerns you have articulated.

The decision to terminate a romantic relationship is inherently challenging, particularly when the other party is grappling with depression. In such circumstances, the decision-making process becomes even more intricate and emotionally charged. This analysis aims to provide a comprehensive and empathetic perspective on your situation.

First and foremost, it is evident that you have been subjected to considerable pressure and internal turmoil in this relationship. As an altruistic individual, you have endeavored to provide your boyfriend with the utmost support and care.

Nevertheless, this form of care and support places an excessive burden of responsibility and concern on the individual, potentially impacting their mental health. It is understandable that the objective is to identify a means of addressing one's own emotions without causing distress to the romantic partner.

You have indicated that your primary motivation for initiating a separation is your boyfriend's depression and sensitive personality. However, you are concerned that this may potentially exacerbate his condition. It is indeed the case that for individuals with mental illness, events such as the dissolution of a relationship may act as a trigger for the onset or exacerbation of their illness.

It is also important to recognise that everyone has their own process of growth, including the ability to face difficulties and challenges. This experience may therefore prompt him to gain a deeper understanding of his illness and to seek more effective treatment.

Furthermore, you indicated that the relationship is characterized by a greater sense of maternal love than romantic love. This sentiment is understandable, and it is important to recognize the distinction between love and care.

In the context of romantic relationships, individuals tend to anticipate more profound emotional interactions and empathy from their partners. Conversely, care often manifests as a willingness to provide assistance and support in daily life. If one is unable to transform care into love, terminating the relationship may prove beneficial for both parties.

It should be noted that the decision to terminate the relationship does not necessitate the complete cessation of communication with the other party. It is possible to maintain a certain degree of distance while still providing care and assistance when required.

This will mitigate the psychological burden on you and facilitate his gradual adaptation to life without you.

It is also crucial to prioritize self-care during this process. While a breakup may evoke feelings of guilt, shame, and concern, it is essential to recognize the right to pursue one's own happiness and well-being.

Seeking psychological counseling or sharing one's feelings with friends and family can facilitate the coping process.

It is also important to note that depression is a treatable illness. While one cannot be held directly responsible for another's treatment, encouraging the individual to seek professional psychological counseling and treatment is a constructive step.

It is important to convey to him that requesting assistance is not an indication of vulnerability, but rather the initial step in demonstrating fortitude in confronting the challenges you are facing.

Ultimately, it is imperative to trust one's instincts and emotions when making decisions, as they are the most accurate indicators of one's desires and the optimal course of action.

Although a breakup may cause short-term distress, it can also facilitate personal growth for both the individual and the other person involved.

It is my hope that these analyses and suggestions will prove beneficial to you. It is important to remember that you are not alone, and that friends and family will be available to provide support throughout this challenging period.

It is my sincere hope that you will ultimately find happiness and contentment.

Furthermore, I would like to present some perspectives that may assist in navigating this complex situation.

The process of self-awareness and personal growth that has occurred as a result of this experience has enabled the individual to gain insight into their own boundaries and needs within the context of the relationship. This has facilitated a more nuanced understanding of themselves, which will prove beneficial in future relationships.

The relationship between emotions and responsibility is a complex one. While a deep emotional connection with one's partner is undoubtedly a positive aspect of a relationship, it is not necessarily indicative of responsibility.

It is of the utmost importance to learn how to achieve a balance between caring for others and protecting oneself in order to maintain one's emotional well-being.

Embrace change: Life is replete with uncertainty, and embracing change is an essential step in personal growth. While a breakup may be painful, it also creates new possibilities and provides the opportunity to identify a lifestyle and partner that align more closely with one's needs and preferences.

Communication and Understanding: When initiating a separation, it is advisable to communicate with one's partner in a calm and understanding manner. It is important to convey that the decision is not based on dissatisfaction or disgust, but rather on one's own needs and feelings.

Through open and honest communication, you can assist him in comprehending and accepting this reality.

It is advisable to seek professional support if one is experiencing distress or stress during the process of a breakup. A counselor can provide emotional support, coping strategies, and assistance in dealing with the complex emotions associated with a breakup.

It is important to allow oneself sufficient time to recover from the effects of a breakup. The process of adjusting to the change and experiencing the full range of emotions involved can take a considerable length of time.

With the passage of time, one will eventually establish a new equilibrium in one's life.

In navigating this complex situation, it is crucial to attend to one's emotional and psychological needs. The well-being and mental health of the individual are of equal importance.

It is our hope that the aforementioned analysis and suggestions will provide you with some ideas and direction, thus enabling you to better cope with this challenge and move forward.

Good day. It is evident that you once held a profound affinity for him and invested considerable effort into nurturing the relationship. Your inquiry, "How to break up with a boyfriend with depression," indicates that you have engaged in a comprehensive and thoughtful process of self-reflection. However, it is also likely that you are experiencing a profound emotional turmoil and distress.

It is evident that you have come to the realization that you no longer possess any romantic feelings for him and are unable to shoulder the burden of providing care for an individual struggling with depression. You are concerned about the potential deterioration of his condition, yet you are also reluctant to perpetuate the relationship, as it would only exacerbate the situation and cause further distress to yourself and the other person.

It is not uncommon to experience these emotions; therefore, self-blame is unwarranted. When confronted with such challenges, it is crucial to prioritize introspection, as one's feelings serve as the foundation for understanding and resolving issues.

A few years ago, I responded to a query from an individual experiencing depressive symptoms following the dissolution of a romantic relationship. It was evident that the individual was undergoing a challenging period, yet they were striving to find a means of coping.

It is a common experience for individuals who have been rejected in a romantic relationship to experience feelings of sadness. The specific actions of the individual who initiated the separation, however, are not the primary factor in determining the emotional state of the other party. It is therefore important to recognize that the process of healing and moving on is a personal journey that requires introspection and self-reflection. This process is not something that can be forced upon another person, and it is not something that can be achieved through the actions of another.

It is possible that others may not be as strong as one believes, yet they may also not be as weak as one assumes. If one is determined to separate, it is advisable to do so as soon as possible and to avoid wasting the time of others.

My personal stance on relationships is to make decisions promptly and without undue hesitation. However, it is important to maintain a respectful and considerate approach, avoiding actions that might evoke strong emotions in the other person while still clearly articulating one's position. In this particular instance, it was necessary to end the relationship.

I extend my best wishes to you.

Good day. I am Bai Li Yina, the respondent in this inquiry. It is my hope that my reply will provide some degree of solace and assistance.

The questioner revealed that during the period of accompanying a friend suffering from depression, the other party confessed his love. After initial hesitation, the questioner agreed. The questioner was aware of the other party's love for her and his dependence on her, and thus she endured the anxiety and continued the relationship. Upon subsequent reflection, the questioner realized that her emotions did not align with love, but rather with maternal care. However, the questioner was concerned that ending the relationship would cause distress to the other party and lacked the knowledge to terminate the relationship.

[Situation analysis]

The nature of relationships between individuals is not fixed. At the outset of the relationship, the two parties interacted as friends. They perceived a strong compatibility and a manageable emotional burden due to the individual's controlled depression with medication. However, as the relationship matured, the individual ceased medication independently. For various reasons, the individual's behavior and emotional impact on the other party underwent significant changes. The other party found it challenging to rapidly process the negative impact of the individual's actions.

After observing the extent of her own capacity to tolerate the situation, the subject made the decision to terminate the relationship. At this juncture, her altruistic personality began to impede her ability to make sound decisions. She was concerned that ending the relationship would cause him further distress and potentially lead to a relapse.

Let us attempt to organize our thoughts collectively.

[Questions for consideration]

1. How did he cope with the recurrence of depression before your involvement?

2. Do you believe that you can continue to provide support to him when you are continually experiencing negative emotions that you are unable to dissipate? Currently, you have some respite through the use of suppression and psychological counseling, but is this a sustainable long-term solution?

3. Was the patient's physician amenable to the cessation of treatment? Will the patient's ability to function optimally be compromised following the discontinuation of medication?

What is your assessment of his belief that he has improved? Do you believe that he has indeed improved?

It is recommended that the following methods be attempted:

The decision to terminate a relationship is indicative of a lack of emotional investment or confidence in the relationship. In any intimate relationship, if one party desires to terminate the relationship and the other party desires to maintain it unilaterally, the result is often detrimental to the well-being of both parties. The longer the duration of the relationship, the greater the potential for harm.

In the relationship, the subject appears to be the primary provider, supporter, and caretaker for the other individual. Apart from the initial hesitation to accept the confession, there seems to be minimal evidence of reciprocal love and effort. What actions has the other individual taken to maintain and strengthen the relationship?

With the exception of cases of depression, do you believe that the contributions you have made to the relationship are equal?

If you perceive the relationship to be unequal, regardless of whether or not he has depression, it is evident that the relationship has not brought you sufficient happiness. You have made the decision to terminate the relationship after careful consideration to protect yourself and have confidence in your decision. It is imperative to prioritize your own well-being above all else.

It is understandable that you do not wish to cause him pain, given his symptoms. However, should you feel obliged to love him simply because you do not wish to hurt him? It is challenging to maintain a relationship when one is not in love with the other person. Furthermore, forcing yourself to stay together when you do not love the person is, in itself, a form of hurt, which affects both you and him. As you have stated, it is preferable to end the relationship before it causes further harm. This decision is not only yours, but also his.

One can express sincerity in conveying the emotional exhaustion and the efforts made to accept the other party, yet it remains an impossibility. It is not possible to force oneself to hope for a more suitable match. The optimal conclusion to this relationship is to communicate one's thoughts and bestow blessings.

Any relationship that is inappropriate will inevitably cause some degree of harm. However, the process of healing from such wounds is an individual one. In this case, it is evident that the individual in question has done everything within their power to cope with the situation. Consequently, it is unfair to blame oneself for the situation.

It is my hope that the aforementioned methods will prove beneficial to you.

It is important to recognise that change requires time and patience. It is also crucial to understand that many people are experiencing or have experienced similar problems.

The world and I are with you; you are not alone. It is my sincere hope that you will soon find resolution to the issues that have caused you distress and be able to achieve a state of comfort and ease.

I would like to express my gratitude to those who have expressed approval and provided feedback on my posts. I extend my best wishes for peace and joy.

Hello, host!

I absolutely understand the landlord's conflicting emotions.

You don't want to hurt the other person. You feel powerless, but you know what you need to do.

You are a kind girl, so I'm giving you a warm hug!

Let's be real. Nobody's perfect when they're born on this earth. And there's no such thing as an absolutely perfect lover or couple.

We can only achieve this by making this imperfection better and more perfect through ourselves or others.

Unconditional acceptance and help for the other person is what true love is.

However, the reality is that it is difficult for us to meet such people or do such things.

We are imperfect, and that's okay.

Everyone has two selves: the little self and the big self.

The ego is self-centered, calculating, narrow-minded, and short-sighted.

The ego is lacking because of a lack of love within oneself.

They simply cannot give others enough love.

and expects to receive love and care from others.

I'll tell you what the greater self looks like.

The ego is selfless and self-forgetting. It treats all others as its kin and loves them.

The great self is incredibly powerful. It will not feel aggrieved or tired. It will only give of its love.

When you become the greater self, your heart is full of love for everyone, not just romantic love.

The current poster is clearly still struggling with the conflict between the little self and the greater self. They have already surpassed the little self, but they still have a way to go to reach the level of the greater self.

I want to be clear that I'm not saying the host must achieve the level of the greater self.

We all have a container inside us, and you decide how much you can bear.

This means determining what kind of result you can currently bear.

The original poster wants to know how to break up with her boyfriend, who is depressed.

As the respondent, you must tell N ways to break up with your boyfriend without embarrassing either of you.

I must warn you that separation is painful and that one party will suffer.

Both people will have to bear the pain of this separation.

We must ask ourselves whether we should continue to be entangled because of the pain.

As I said before, everyone has a small self and a big self inside them.

I want to know what kind of you lives inside you.

And what kind of person does your boyfriend see inside himself?

This must be done by two people, not unilaterally.

We meet everyone in our lives for a reason.

We encounter people like this to teach us a lesson.

We can have a clear conscience.

You must decide whether to continue the relationship or cut your losses.

We will face the consequences of our actions.

We must make the choice we have now.

Best regards!

I am warm June, and I love you, the world, and I choose to love you too!

From your description, it's clear that there's a power dynamic at play. It seems that one of you needs to be saved, while the other wants to save. This mentality seems to outweigh the emotional component.

After seven months of friendship, he relapses into depression. You support and accompany him, and he confesses his love for you.

If you feel affection for him, you have had seven months to do so. It is not enough to wait for him to confess to you after you have been there for him in a bad mood.

He needs help, and whoever comes to his side is likely to be appreciated by him. Therefore, his confession is not a mature decision made out of love for himself or for you.

If this analysis is valid, we assume two scenarios:

1. After he recovers from depression, he won't need to rely on you anymore, and you won't need to help him anymore. You two will be able to live together happily because of your feelings for each other.

2. If his depression does not recover soon and he needs your long-term company and support, you will be able to give it. It will not affect your relationship, regardless of whether you are together because of friendship or love.

You may already feel the pressure of being unable to provide long-term nurturing for him. It's possible that your worries about him have caused more serious anxiety and obsessions in yourself, leading you to seek psychological counseling.

Two people who can't take care of themselves must either support and encourage each other or take care of themselves first and seek help from the outside.

If one person is only giving and the other is only taking, the giver will eventually be drained. This will inevitably lead to the end of the relationship and a deterioration in the mental health of both parties.

You have considered these issues, which is why you want to break up but are afraid of hurting him.

The end of any relationship, for whatever reason, will hurt.

If you stay together against your will, it will cause even greater harm. You need to decide which one you want.

You need to consider how to minimize the damage.

You are an altruistic person, which is commendable.

But the premise of altruism is to consider your own feelings first. You have to take care of yourself before you can help anyone else. Otherwise, you will feel resentment when you are drained.

You worry about him, worry for him, and think for him. You have developed serious anxiety and obsessive thoughts, which you choose to endure in silence.

You need to consider what will happen if you pass on your emotions to him before you have adjusted your own state.

If you decide to break up with him, you need to let him know your true situation. Tell him you are worried that you can no longer help him, that you also need help, and that the two of you together may be a burden to each other.

Put yourself in each other's shoes and make a clear distinction between the feelings you've had since you met and the feelings you'll have in the future.

What identity is more beneficial to you both in your current psychological state?

When you both need help, you need to decide how much you can give to each other and whether you should be more relaxed as friends.

If you can't, seek professional psychological help separately.

You feel more inclined to care for him with maternal love than with love. The real reason you want to break up with him is his depression and sensitive personality. You are worried about hurting him, so you decide to break up with him by saying that the relationship has faded.

You don't yet know the destructive power of love.

Many psychological problems are caused by the interruption or lack of love, which causes people to fall apart physically and mentally.

If you say you don't love him anymore, it will undoubtedly be a bigger blow to him.

Your focus should be on your current psychological state and on letting him see whether his feelings for you are really a fragile dependence or the love between lovers.

If you both agree, you can retreat to the status of friends and support each other.

You will adjust according to the situation.

My name is Yan Guilai, and I am a psychological counselor. I wish you all good health!

From what you said, I can see that you're a kind and great person. You chose to take on the pressure yourself to look out for the other person's feelings. You tried really hard to deal with the anxiety, even when it got to a point that you needed to see a psychologist, so you wouldn't let your anxiety affect the other person, even though part of your anxiety came from the other person.

At the same time, your description also shows that you can think rationally and make objective judgments. You have your own understanding and judgment of your relationship. You see the importance of yourself in the other person, and it seems that you also see that the pattern of continuing to get along is endless persistence and endurance.

You can't keep pushing this like this, and you can also see how it'll end if you don't change your approach.

You've thought about breaking up, and along with that comes guilt about "abandoning" and concerns about the consequences. I've used the word "abandoning," and I'd like you to feel the emotions that come up when you see that word.

The following is a rather one-sided and subjective analysis. Please consider it with discretion and hope that you can find something helpful in it.

First, you supported him as a friend when he was depressed. After he confessed, his depression improved, he stopped taking medication, and he had insomnia and other symptoms. I noticed you hesitated before accepting.

Let's ask ourselves a few questions:

1. What do you think would have happened if you hadn't shown up?

2. Did you play a part in helping the other person to improve?

3. What will happen to the other person if you keep getting along? What will happen to you? How will it affect you both?

4. Accept the confession for what it is. Is it motivated by kindness, or is there an element of wanting to use it to improve the other person's situation? If so, can you keep improving the other person's situation?

5. The other person has stopped taking their medication on their own, and they're struggling with insomnia. Could you help them out?

Second, the other person is somewhat dependent on others, and you are an important person. You're altruistic and worry about him, which causes your own anxiety.

1. Is it really anyone's business that the other person is dependent on others?

2. Is it your problem that you've caused anxiety and obsession?

3. Is it possible to change the other person's dependence on others? Can you change your own anxiety and compulsiveness?

Third, you've been keeping your options open during your time together, and he says he loves you very much. You want to break up, but you're worried about hurting the other person.

1. What does the word "hurt" mean to you?

2. If you've been together for decades, is there any chance the word "hurt" will come up? If so, where do you think it will appear in those decades?

Who's being affected negatively here? Who's causing this negative effect?

If not, how did you move past the hurt feelings?

3. He says he loves you very much. What does he love about you specifically? How much of this part of him do you have?

How long do you think this will last?

Fourth, you want to break up with him because you feel less love and are slowly growing apart, but you're worried about how he's doing and you're torn between guilt and worry.

1. How much do you think he's on board with the breakup?

2. If he agrees, do you still have those guilty and worried feelings?

3. What will you do if he disagrees and his condition gets worse?

5. I'd like to learn how to deal with this problem.

1. After answering the above questions, do you have any new ideas?

2. What are your thoughts on the word "abandon"? If you could replace it with another word, what would it be?

3. All life deserves respect. Have you noticed that you also need to be respected?

I hope this is helpful.

Expressing yourself sincerely is respectful. Taking on the other person's burden excessively and thinking for them is not respectful.

Yi Psychology believes that everyone loves you.

Good day, I hope this message finds you well. I am writing in response to your query.

It is understandable that you are experiencing difficulty in initiating a separation from your partner at this time. You are likely facing a number of concerns and apprehensions.

The other party will likely become more serious in their response to your mention of the potential breakup. This indicates that you are a kind individual.

As postulated by psychologist Kurt Vonnegut in his Drama Triangle theory, individuals typically assume one of three roles: savior, victim, or persecutor.

The savior believes that other people are not capable of helping themselves and feels guilty if they don't intervene to assist them. They are concerned with finding solutions that will eliminate the pain and suffering experienced by others.

It is not uncommon for those who are inclined to play the role of the savior to subsequently become victims.

Those who identify as victims tend to have a low self-esteem and believe that they are inherently flawed and incapable of resolving issues independently. They often attribute their difficulties to external factors and are prone to expressing discontent.

It is not uncommon for victims to transition into persecuting others.

Persecutors are prone to belittling others, often displaying anger and harsh judgment, and holding the belief that blame lies elsewhere.

It is important to note that the three roles do not inherently possess qualities of good or bad. However, when individuals feel overwhelmed or frustrated, it is crucial to assess whether they are caught in a specific role and unable to disengage, which can impact others and result in the adoption of a different role, leading to conflicts and contradictions.

Method of change:

The most beneficial approach is to assume that if I act in a responsible manner, others will do the same. Consequently, individuals with a tendency to take on a savior complex may wish to place their trust in the capabilities of others.

Intimacy is a meeting of hearts. Therefore, it is essential to first gain control of your own emotions and understand your current feelings and needs.

It is essential to release feelings of guilt and sin. Love is the foundation of all relationships.

You have a genuine affinity for each other, which is the foundation of a strong partnership.

This is a question that is currently gaining attention on the internet and is being discussed by many people at this time.

If I might humbly offer my perspective on human problems and emotions, I believe that there is no absolute right or wrong in life; rather, there are simply problems and emotions.

When you insist on right and wrong, emotions arise, and emotions can become problematic. This is the first sentence. When you face a problem, emotions arise, and emotions can become new problems, or even the fuse that ignites a series of emotions. This is the second sentence. No matter the problem or the emotion, it is important to recognize that the way you face it is to let go, or to accept it. It is crucial not to cut corners and replace it with tolerance and patience, thereby concealing emotions and problems. This is the third sentence. Emotions and problems arise in life at any time. When you repeatedly practice the above one, two, and three sentences, if you still have emotions, it may be helpful to generate some more and bigger emotions and problems to make you awaken.

When you let go and accept, everything returns to normal. If you hold on to it, the next question is the simplest one: pay the bill. You have to pay the bill yourself, but some people may find it challenging to pay it in their lifetime.

Many people talk about cultivation, which can be defined as the process of developing and nurturing one's inner self. This can include the cultivation of the mind or the true self. It's important to recognize that the journey of cultivation is not necessarily about achieving a specific outcome, such as becoming a Buddha, an immortal, or a sage. One effective approach to cultivation is to become aware of your thoughts and learn to let them go. Some individuals may experience suffering due to difficulties in discovering their thoughts or letting them go. Others may face challenges due to an unwillingness to discover or acknowledge their thoughts, or an inability to let them go. It's crucial to understand that the greatest suffering often arises from a reluctance to confront one's thoughts, admit them, and let them go. This can lead to an ongoing struggle with inner demons. In this context, returning to cultivation, which can be defined as the process of nurturing and developing one's inner self, can be challenging. It often involves confronting one's thoughts, admitting them, and letting them go. This can be a difficult journey, but it's essential to recognize that it's not about achieving a specific outcome but about the journey itself.

If becoming a fairy, Buddha, Bodhisattva, or sage is not within your reach, you can still cultivate your "true self."

I'm open to trying anything, whether that's sticking with it or moving on. I'll ask you the same question: are you truly willing?

It would be wise to ensure that you are truly ready and willing to proceed.

Hello, I'm Wang Tusi Rui.

From what you've told me about your boyfriend, you seem like a very kind person. It's understandable that you're feeling anxious and having obsessive thoughts, and that you're worried about how breaking up will affect your boyfriend.

You didn't cause his depression, and he needs to work through it on his own.

It's tough for you to be there for him through this rough patch.

You feel like he'll rely on you a lot, but that won't help him recover. In fact, it'll put a lot of pressure on you. If he's too dependent on you, he'll dump a lot of his negative emotions on you. He needs companionship. In this relationship, he's the beneficiary, while you're the giver most of the time.

You're not happy with the way things are going and you're tired of being in this relationship. You need to respect your own feelings. You're not a professional counselor, you just want to have a normal relationship, and there's nothing wrong with that.

It's time to ditch the Madonna image.

You were able to find a way to work together, with one of you taking on the role of the savior and the other the one who needed saving.

When he needs you, you feel like your own value is being recognized, you're always needed, and his evaluation of you and his dependence on you make you feel very valuable.

It's like a drowning person grabbing onto another person. If the other person isn't very good at swimming or is exhausted, they can easily be dragged down and drown, and both people will drown in the end.

Your image in this relationship is kind, altruistic, and understanding, and this may be the impression you mostly give to others, but is this really who you are at your core?

Are you willing to show your selfish and evil side to him? A good relationship allows us to be true to ourselves. You're worried that your anxious and obsessive alter ego will affect her, which makes you very tired and unable to show your true self. You can't play the Madonna.

Take a step back and give him the space to grow.

Best of luck!

Hello. I can sense your concerns and fatigue in your words. First and foremost, I want to offer you a gesture of support and hope that my response will be helpful to you.

From your description, it seems that your current situation is rather challenging and requires careful attention. It is essential to respect the feelings of the other person while also considering your own emotions and health needs.

Perhaps we could begin by exploring your situation together?

Emotional dependence and a sense of responsibility: You mention that his personality is rather dependent on others, and that you play the role of caregiver in the relationship. This imbalance may lead to a feeling of being weighed down.

In psychology, this dynamic can lead to what is known as an attachment style imbalance when one partner becomes overly dependent on the other, with one person becoming overly reliant on their partner to meet their own security and emotional needs. In this case, proposing a breakup could potentially trigger his separation anxiety and insecurity, which is a concern for you right now.

It may be helpful to consider that empathy, or the ability to understand and experience the emotions of others, is an important aspect of maintaining healthy relationships. Setting boundaries is also an important aspect of this.

It would be helpful for you to recognize that although you care about his feelings, you also have the right to set your own boundaries, including emotional boundaries. Setting boundaries is an important way to maintain personal mental health and well-being, and it also shows respect for the other person.

Self-identity and relationship dynamics: You describe your personality as being inclined towards altruism, which may be one reason why you feel guilty and worried. In psychology, self-identity and relationship dynamics are closely linked, and your sense of self-worth may be affected by how you define your role in a relationship.

With this in mind, you may wish to consider exploring your own needs and desires and how you might express them in a healthy way, without sacrificing your own sense of well-being.

Emotional contagion: You mentioned that your anxiety and obsessive symptoms may be related to his condition, which could be an example of the phenomenon of emotional contagion, where the emotional state of one person can affect another. In this case, it's possible that you may have unintentionally absorbed some of his anxiety and depression, which could have affected your own mental health.

The decision to end a relationship is often a complex process that involves a series of psychological steps, including evaluation, decision-making, and action. It's possible that you may have gone through a number of internal processes and considerations before finally making this decision.

This is a normal process, and it shows that you are taking all factors into serious consideration, which is a positive step.

It is important to remember that in any relationship, each person is responsible for their own emotions. While it is natural to care about his feelings, it is not your responsibility to ensure his emotional well-being.

It is important to remember that everyone is responsible for managing their emotional reactions and seeking appropriate help when needed.

Communication skills: It is important to be mindful of your communication style when breaking up with someone. Using "I" statements (e.g., "I feel...") instead of "you" statements (e.g., "You make me feel...") can help reduce defensiveness and keep the conversation calm.

It would be wise to anticipate reactions and develop coping strategies. It is possible that he may have strong emotional reactions, so it is important to be prepared for them. You might consider developing coping strategies, such as planning in advance how you will respond to his requests or how you will handle potentially intense emotions.

It is important to understand the value of self-care when dealing with such situations. Having a support system in place, such as friends, family, or professionals, can be beneficial during this period.

It is sometimes the case that ending an unhealthy relationship is necessary in the long term, even if it may be painful in the short term. Psychological research suggests that an unhealthy relationship may have negative consequences for both parties in the long term.

It is important to remember that although you may feel guilty and worried, it is equally reasonable to consider your needs and happiness when making a decision. Your feelings and needs are equally important, and you have the right to pursue your own happiness.

Perhaps we could discuss how to break up together, which might help you deal with this in a more constructive way.

First, it might be helpful to acknowledge that you have a deep sense of empathy and understanding for his situation. You have already invested a lot of energy in supporting him, and this is very valuable.

During the conversation, you might consider expressing your understanding and empathy for the difficulties he has experienced. You could let him know that your decision to leave is not a reflection of your feelings for him, but rather a decision that is in your own best interest and in his best interest as well.

It might be helpful to convey your decision in a gentle but firm manner. For example, you could say, "I know you have been through a lot over the past period of time, and I have supported you as best as I can."

"I've come to realize that I can't continue to play this role. I hope you understand that it's not because you're not good enough, but because I've come to realize that I can't meet your needs."

You might consider mentioning that although the relationship is ending, the friendship and the experience of mutual support are valuable. For example, you could say, "I want you to know that even though our relationship is over, I'm grateful for the time we've spent together and for the place you have in my life."

Perhaps you could tell him that although your relationship has changed, you are still willing to be there for him as a friend and will do your best to support him if he needs help. This might help to ease his anxiety and let him know that he is not alone.

It might be helpful to clearly define the boundaries of your new relationship. For example, you could say, "I will respect your feelings, but I also need to take care of my emotional well-being. This means that we need to set some boundaries so that we can each grow."

Perhaps it would be helpful to reiterate the importance of therapy and encourage him to continue seeking professional help. You could say something like, "I believe you have the ability to overcome this, and I'm impressed by how well you're doing so far."

"I believe that continuing with therapy will help you to improve further."

It is also important to remember to take care of yourself. Your anxiety and obsessive thoughts need attention and treatment too.

You are not alone in this, and seeking counseling is a good way to cope with this situation.

It might be helpful to give him some time and space to process the news. People often react differently to breakups, and some may need time to adjust to the change.

It would be beneficial for both parties to try to maintain their decision and avoid erratic behavior in the days following the breakup.

If you feel you are struggling to cope, you might consider seeking help from a third party, such as a counselor, who could offer advice and help you better manage the breakup.

While you want to protect him from harm, you also need to protect your own emotional well-being. It's a difficult decision, but sometimes letting go is what allows both of you to move forward.

I hope you will find these suggestions helpful as you navigate this breakup. Please know that your feelings are just as important, and your happiness is just as worthy of being pursued.

I hope my answer is helpful to you. I wish you all the best in this difficult time.

Hello, I'm Zeyu.

We can tell that the questioner is a responsible girl, so we will answer her question: "How do I break up with my boyfriend who has depression?"

The questioner was initially just friends with the person, and during this period, the boyfriend's depression relapsed. He then confessed his love halfway through. After getting along for a while, the questioner realized that the person's character complemented theirs, and the real reason for the breakup was his depression and sensitive personality. We have now identified the core of the problem. The next step is to refer the problem to the right person. Just as the questioner would choose to receive psychological counseling, we can suggest that the other person receive psychological counseling or psychotherapy in addition to taking medication on time.

If the other person is skeptical about psychological counseling, we can speak from personal experience or respect their choice.

Now that our identities extend beyond the role of girlfriend, we can avoid discussing breakups and instead demonstrate that we are not a source of constant emotional distress. We are not a burden to others, and we have the capacity to recognize when we are feeling overwhelmed. We cannot force someone to seek help, but we can encourage them to recognize their need for it.

We want to break up with the other person with minimal harm. We may try to leave the problems related to depression to professionals to solve. After the other person's emotions have stabilized, we will take the initiative to explain the situation to the other person and tell them our true feelings and views on the relationship. We will not let this breakup be an instantaneous process. We will let time slowly dilute this relationship.

When we face a complex and sensitive emotional issue, it is often helpful to approach it in a way that is respectful of ourselves and caring towards the other person. In your time together, you have given this friend a great deal of support and companionship, and now you find that the relationship may no longer meet your expectations of love. This can be a challenging time, and you are worried about the impact on your mental health.

At this crossroads, it would be beneficial to consider the situation from a new angle and suggest a solution that reflects your feelings while also taking care not to cause him any undue distress.

First and foremost, it is essential to recognize that everyone has the right to pursue their own happiness and satisfaction. Your feelings are genuine and deserve to be acknowledged, and you have the right to decide your own lifestyle and relationships with others.

It is important to remember that breaking up is not a betrayal or hurt. It is, in fact, an opportunity to find a better future for both of you.

Secondly, we should try to approach his depression with a more understanding and sympathetic attitude. Depression is a serious mental illness that can make sufferers feel helpless, desperate, and dependent on others.

As his friend and former lover, you are well aware of this and have already given him tremendous support. However, you also understand that his depression requires professional medical and psychological treatment, which may not be the same as relying on someone for companionship and care.

When breaking up, it might be helpful to start with a more in-depth and honest conversation. First, it could be beneficial to find a quiet and comfortable environment where he has enough time and space to listen to your feelings.

Then, you might consider expressing your decision in a warm but firm tone, so that he can feel your sincerity and care.

You might consider saying something like, "We have had many wonderful times together, and I am truly grateful for your companionship and support. However, I have recently noticed that my feelings for you have shifted somewhat."

I'm starting to feel that my concern for you is more like the care of a mother than the love between lovers. This is making me a little confused, because I was hoping that our relationship would be based on mutual love and respect.

"

You might then wish to explain your decision further, to show him that you did not make this choice lightly. You could say, for instance: "I know this decision may be hard for you to accept, but please believe that I have given it a great deal of thought.

I am concerned about the impact my departure might have on your well-being. I hope you can appreciate that I need to prioritize my own happiness and health. I wish you the best in finding someone who can offer you more love and support.

"

After expressing your decision, you might consider offering some concrete help and support. For example, you could recommend a professional counselor or psychologist to him, or provide some resources and information about depression.

You might say something like, "Although we can no longer be together, I still care very much about your health. I hope you can find professional help to treat your depression."

"I will do my best to support and help you."

Additionally, you might consider expressing your desire to maintain a friendly relationship. You could say, "Although we can't continue as lovers, I hope we can still maintain a friendly relationship."

I believe we can both find our own happiness, and we can be friends, supporting and encouraging each other.

"

Finally, it would be best to give him time and space to come to terms with your decision. It might be best not to rush the process or expect an immediate response.

It would be beneficial to respect his feelings and needs, and to allow yourself time to calm down and deal with your emotions.

It is important to remain calm and level-headed throughout the process. It is natural to experience feelings of self-blame or guilt, but it is essential to recognize that you have the right to pursue your own happiness.

At the same time, it would be beneficial to approach the situation with kindness and care, with the aim of minimising his pain and anxiety.

Ultimately, breaking up is a challenging but necessary decision. It's important to consider the situation from a fresh perspective and communicate our feelings in a more genuine and open manner.

By respecting ourselves, caring for the other person, and offering concrete help and support, we can hopefully minimize the damage to the other person and at the same time find a better future for ourselves.

Hello, I'm Qu Huidong, a counselor who uses images to help people.

The original poster is worried that if he breaks up with his boyfriend with depression, it will cause him to relapse. You are thinking about how to break up with him to minimize the harm to him. You need to realize that breaking up will also stir up a great sense of unease in you. Are you ready?

You're used to being the caregiver or savior in relationships. But is this what you want? The answer is no. You're aware that this is the "Madonna complex" at work.

When someone is ill, we try to understand their illness and limitations. But you don't have to be a "victim" or give yourself away. It's important to recognize that if we say we don't want to deplete ourselves but constantly emphasize our importance to the other person, we are not really loving or respecting them.

The best thing you can do is be honest about how you feel. Breaking up is painful, and both people need to move on.

Your decision to end the relationship is not easy, but it's the best for you now. Be kind to yourself. Tell the other person about your limits.

Tell him the reason you don't love him is not just because of his illness. Talk gently about how you feel.

You cared about this person, but you can't control someone else's depression. Take care of yourself and stay healthy. It's just as important as the depression sufferer receiving treatment.

Best wishes!

Hello question asker

You're a loving person. Your relationship with your boyfriend is more than just romantic love. It's a great love between human beings, which is rare.

Your boyfriend is lucky to have you.

You've helped him through tough times, but you feel you can't bear this long-term relationship. This is a realistic thought, and you're facing your feelings.

How do you feel in this relationship? Does the other person need you?

You think you're important to the other person, so you're worried that leaving will hurt them. But it's their issue, not yours.

Think about why you have these thoughts.

"I matter to you and I'm valuable." This feeling of being needed is enjoyable.

You need the kind of satisfaction he needs from you. So leaving has caused anxiety.

No matter what you think about this relationship, he has played an important role in your life. Ask yourself what role this relationship has played in your life and what your commitment represents in terms of your underlying consciousness.

Figure these things out before making a decision.

I hope you and your boyfriend will be better soon.