How to change if you think of yourself as bad or terrible?

Hello. I have carefully read what you said, and I am convinced that you are indeed quite anxious about some issues related to your growth. You often feel that you are not as good as others, and you are also worried that this will always be the case. You have some negative opinions about yourself, to the point where you have symptoms of depression. As for whether the age of 17 is a stereotypical dividing line for a person, I can definitely tell you that it is not. Everyone has their own path and stage of growth, and this cannot be simply divided by age. Why do we always say that we should keep learning as we get older?

You're already a good person, and you have the potential to become even better. You've spent your whole life learning and growing, and you're still striving to improve. Don't ever think it's too late. I can tell you've thought deeply about yourself, and that's why I believe you're ready to become the best version of yourself. You have the motivation and desire to become better, and I know you can do it. Not everyone has the courage to constantly reflect and push themselves to become better, so I admire you for that. I have high expectations for you, and I know you're going to exceed them.

So what does the teacher want to say next? Everyone has good and bad sides. It's wrong to say that someone is not good just because one aspect is not good enough. Nobody is perfect. We should not deny ourselves completely just because we are not good at something. Everyone has their own unique value. It is most important to bring a pair of eyes that discover beauty to see it.

You may have experienced some past events that have left you with the belief that you are not good enough. I am here to help you overcome this obstacle and become a better person. We will have more opportunities to communicate, and I will support you in discovering your true inner self, embracing the beauty in life, and letting go of the belief that you are not good enough.

I am confident that this answer will give you something to think about. I am certain that you will become a better version of yourself and that you will become more and more confident every day.

Good morning,

Please accept this gesture of affection.

As the adage goes, "The fortunate ones recover from childhood wounds throughout their lifetime, while the unfortunate ones carry those wounds into adulthood." Despite the passage of time, I can still sense the inquirer's inner need for support, acknowledgment, and healing.

Why do we consistently focus on past experiences?

The weight of memories in the heart increases when negative emotions are triggered when recalling past experiences. This is because the underlying reasons for the experiences have not been resolved. It is akin to a scar from an injury that does not fall off naturally when it is not completely healed. Therefore, when we repeatedly observe and recall past experiences with an injured heart, the scar can always be raised, which can still evoke pain.

Please describe the process of unblocking oneself.

If the questioner can grasp the concept of scar healing, they can then begin the process of self-healing by accepting themselves as they are.

To facilitate effective healing, it is essential to first examine the injured area. This entails disinfecting it, administering medicine, and bandaging it in accordance with the severity of the injury. Only through this comprehensive approach can the healing process be truly effective. Similarly, when it comes to emotional experiences, it is vital to become aware of our inner feelings. This necessitates identifying the emotions that arise, the feelings they evoke, and the specific meanings we attach to them. To gain insights, it is essential to further become aware of ourselves: Why do we feel this way?

Individuals who feel unloved are prone to become mired in past experiences, as their feelings at the time were not acknowledged or validated. While the circumstances may have changed, the emotions associated with them remain, leading to the development of other feelings such as "I'm not important" and "I'm not loved." This pattern can also manifest in adulthood.

Please advise on the best way to proceed.

[Be aware of yourself]

The questioner's current awareness presents a valuable opportunity to address unfinished business. By recalling past events and considering their impact on current feelings, the questioner can gain insight into the underlying causes of their discomfort. Identifying these feelings and understanding their origin is essential for personal growth and development.

Individuals who possess self-confidence and self-assurance are better equipped to channel their energy towards healing. They are able to differentiate between negative emotions and do not readily accept them unquestioningly.

The ability to accept reality, affirm oneself, and resolve issues.

The questioner repeatedly asks, "Is it my problem?" This indicates a significant lack of self-confidence, which may be attributed to an inferiority complex. As a result, the reaction to external factors is often attributed to one's own shortcomings. In this case, if there has been a change, but the outcome is not as anticipated, there will be a substantial emotional response.

It is important to consider all factors. The questioner can assess whether the people around them are getting along with them in a hostile manner. If someone who thinks they are "worse" than you is the first thing you think of, is it to despise them?

If so, it would result in a negative personal impact.

Therefore, if you take a moment to calm down and think about it, the questioner will get a more objective answer. This means that everyone is different, everyone tries to get along with each other amicably, but they still suffer from the pain of "comparison." Furthermore, everyone has their own strengths, so we can make the most of our strengths and avoid our weaknesses. There is no need to think about everything in a negative way and attribute the problems to ourselves.

[Improve self-confidence and integrate more into the group]

If an individual is unable to consider alternative perspectives, they may struggle to gain an accurate understanding of their own capabilities. This can lead to a tendency to become stuck in a rut when faced with challenges. It is essential to communicate with others to gain a diverse range of insights, which can help to challenge and refine our own perspectives. By evaluating these insights objectively, we can gain a more comprehensive understanding of ourselves.

Best regards,

Hello!

Good and bad are relative concepts that can arise from self- or other-comparison. Many people say we should not compare ourselves with others.

However, we can't live independently. We interact and compare, so we're always in relation to others. Most of us are in the middle, relatively mediocre.

We don't need to worry about whether we're good or not.

Second, as you mentioned, we start to think about our selves during adolescence. We must have a reason for being in this world.

You said you feel bad all the time. This might be because you have an unreasonable belief that you are bad. This belief affects how you act and what you think. It's like you're telling yourself you're bad.

How do you deal with this label? Look at it from a different perspective. We are not objects. We are constantly changing, and we are subjective individuals.

Hello question asker!

I understand what you're feeling. The questioner seems sensitive, unsure of themselves, and has a low sense of worth. Let's look at it:

"He's faster than me, and I feel inferior." "I'm inferior because I can't do the exercises."

All the stories and feelings of inferiority began in spring 2007. You had a classmate who was better at math than you. You felt inferior and associated it with other things you felt were wrong with you.

It feels like it was a long time ago, but it seems like it was just yesterday. Do you still feel like you're not as good as other people?

The answer is no. No one is perfect. Everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses. A lot must have happened over the years. Is there really not a single happy thing? Is there really not a single moment when you were better than other people?

There must be one!

"I believe a person's character is finalized at 17."

The questioner just wants to feel. He thinks a person's character is finalized at 17. He's decided he's bad and doesn't care if this is right.

The questioner knows this understanding is wrong, but he doesn't want to admit it.

"Am I good or bad?"

When you ask this question, it seems like you're denying the "bad self." You still want to know the "good self" and be like others. You just lack motivation or skills.

Asking this question shows you still doubt the "good self." You want to know the "good self" and be like others. You just need to find the motivation and skills.

Then, let's look at what we can do.

Then, let's look at what we can do.

Accept yourself.

Accept yourself.

Accepting oneself means accepting your strengths and weaknesses, as well as your past and present. For example, accept that in 2007, you were not as good at math as your classmate, and accept that you still have problems with depression.

Accepting oneself means accepting your strengths and weaknesses, as well as your past and present. For example, accept who you were in 2007 and who you are now.

You have to accept that you are imperfect and believe that you can change.

Let go of the past.

"Was it just that I didn't solve the problem back then?" Not every problem has a clear answer. The past is gone, but what's more important is the present and the future. Let go of the past and focus on the present.

"Was it just that I didn't solve the problem back then?" Not every problem has a clear answer. The past is gone, but the present and future matter more. Let go of the past and focus on the present.

Replace negative thoughts with positive ones.

Replace "I'm not good" and "I'm scared" with "I'm fine" and "I can."

Read inspiring books and watch movies. Write about your feelings and record helpful methods to cheer yourself up.

▪ Try more.

Try new things, get involved, teach others, learn about different industries and improve yourself. You'll find your strengths and feel good about yourself.

Try new things, get involved, teach others, learn about different industries and improve yourself. You'll find your strengths and feel better about yourself.

I hope my answer helps. Best wishes!

I hope my answer helps. Best wishes!

Gaining insight into the mind and making sharing a habit. I am talking to myself.

If I may, I would like to discuss the topic of "self-projection." I hope that what I share will be of some help to you.

Perhaps it would be helpful to recall the moment when we were very angry and pointed a finger at someone to speak. Have you noticed a particularly interesting phenomenon? It seems that most of us naturally point one finger at someone while the other points unexpectedly at ourselves.

In our daily lives, when we have strong opinions about certain types of people or their behaviors and find them disagreeable, it could be a form of self-projection. It might also be an escape strategy. It's possible that the behaviors and shortcomings of others that we find agreeable or disagreeable may also be present in ourselves, though few people would openly admit this.

It might be helpful to remember that all external things are the result of your internal projection.

It could be said that nothing can cause so-called psychological pain. Perhaps pain comes from one's interpretation of things. It may be the case that one creates one's own pain through one's interpretation of things.

Perhaps it could be said that it is akin to repeatedly denying oneself and thinking that one is bad. It could be perceived as an explanation that stems from an excessive lack of confidence in oneself.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider the following question: Am I good or bad?

Perhaps we could view it as a kind of psychological suffering.

It is not the good or bad things themselves that cause us psychological suffering, but rather our thoughts about certain events and the stories we create around them.

Each of us has the capacity to influence the value we ascribe to things, so it might be helpful to remember that we don't necessarily need to relinquish this power to others.

Often, we believe that our emotional resistance and opposition can alter the facts we don't want. However, we've come to recognize that our resistance is akin to banging our heads against the wall. It's become evident that this approach is not particularly productive and may not facilitate subsequent positive developments.

It might be helpful to think of negative emotions as darkness. While we cannot dispel them, we can bring light into our hearts. Many have found that when light appears, darkness melts away.

Greetings, host.

From your description, it is evident that you are engaged in introspective reflection, which is a process that facilitates personal growth. This is a highly beneficial endeavor.

[Critical Period]

Psychologists have discovered through empirical investigation that the developmental tasks at each stage of life are distinct.

A critical period in the development of self-identity during adolescence.

At that juncture, I encountered a classmate who demonstrated superior academic abilities, which prompted feelings of inadequacy in me.

The distress experienced at that time left an indelible mark on your psyche, such that when you encounter something disagreeable in the present, you are immediately prompted to associate it with that past experience.

This is an excellent example of self-awareness.

[Break through the critical period]

Psychologists conduct their research in accordance with the established principles of human development.

As a result of the dissemination of psychological knowledge, a growing number of individuals are engaging in conscious efforts to alter the character traits that have been developed unconsciously.

The recognition of the interconnection between the present and the past represents a crucial initial step in the process of achieving a breakthrough.

Consequently, the influence of one's upbringing can be diminished through the acquisition of knowledge and the pursuit of self-betterment.

Those with low self-esteem may also achieve a greater sense of ease through immersive learning and improvement.

The phrase "achieving nothing" is a subjective assessment that varies from one individual to another.

The term "achieving nothing" is open to interpretation. It is subjective and dependent on the individual's perspective.

In instances of depression or discomfort, the experience of "not accomplishing anything" may be intensified.

One may attempt to permit oneself to simply exist in the present moment, without the necessity of achieving anything.

It is unproductive to engage in comparisons with others; instead, it is more beneficial to focus on one's own performance.

[Enhance soft skills]

I recognize that you may already be employed and that pursuing a degree in psychology can enhance your psychological resilience.

Attainment of a career and a family through one's own efforts will result in an increase in confidence.

My name is Amy, and I wish you the best of success in your endeavors.

Hello, question asker! I'm Enoch, the answerer. From what you've shared, it seems like you've lost confidence in yourself due to a special experience during your adolescence. It seems like your subsequent self-concept is causing you to feel bad. Could this have something to do with what happened that year?

Let's take a look at the reasons for this situation:

1. Something that happened during a specific time in their life has caused a certain amount of psychological pressure.

The questioner's own analysis is on point. According to developmental psychology, adolescence is a crucial time for people to figure out who they are. When they're sitting next to the top student in class, they lose confidence and feel like they're not good enough. This has definitely affected the questioner, but sometimes it's not about what happens in an event. It's about how we perceive it.

2. The lack of self-confidence has spread to other areas.

The questioner tends to transfer his frustration when comparing himself to his classmates to other abilities and comparisons with other people. He often fails to recognize his own strengths and always compares his weaknesses with other people's strengths.

3. When you get stuck in a rut of negative thinking, it can lead to learned helplessness.

The questioner has been dwelling on his shortcomings for a while now, which has led to a sense of helplessness. This has resulted in a lack of confidence in doing many things, and therefore the feeling that he has achieved nothing.

We've put together a few suggestions for the questioner, in the hope that they'll be helpful.

1. Look for the good things about yourself and build your self-confidence.

Everyone has their own strengths and special qualities. The question asker should focus on identifying their own bright spots and leveraging their unique advantages. For instance, if they have a knack for problem-solving, they should build on this strength and use it to their advantage in their studies, work, and life. Over time, this will boost their confidence.

2. Take a look at yourself and the world around you with a positive attitude.

There's only one top spot, but that doesn't mean the rest are bad. The top spot just has a little more intelligence. It doesn't mean the top spot is good and the others are bad. There are many other good qualities in other students. For example, excellent character traits, sunny, cheerful, optimistic, open-minded, etc. There are also many people with high emotional intelligence, good at interpersonal communication, and many others with excellent character, always willing to help others, etc.

I think it would be a good idea for the questioner to focus on the positive aspects of everyone, and to think about their own strengths too. It would also help to be proactive in interacting with the people around you, and to try to be positive inside, because that will help to deal with any negative feelings.

I hope the questioner will soon step out of the shadows and into the sunshine.

Hello!

I read your description. You've had this thought since you were 17.

This is like learned helplessness in psychology.

A person feels helpless at first, then can't get out of the relationship. This makes them feel helpless in other areas of their life. This can lead to depression and a lack of hope.

If you feel powerless, you will do nothing. This is depression.

How do we get out of despair?

Stop expecting others to help you and rely on yourself.

There are sudden opportunities that make us feel loved and supported. This gives us strength.

The fact that the questioner is asking these questions shows they're thinking differently. Having problems you know about is half the battle.

We're anxious and want an answer now.

Everything follows a pattern. We didn't get to where we are today in a day or two, and we won't get out of it in a day or two either.

Let go of the need to solve the problem right now. Continue following your inner thoughts. Observe and understand yourself. Respect your inner choices. You will have the choice to follow your heart.

We can also get help from other people or books.

Read The Courage to Be Disliked for a deep look at why we feel inferior.

You can also find a counselor to help you understand yourself better.

I hope this helps.

Thank you. I'm Jiusi from Yixinli. I love you.

Hello, question asker!

The questioner's problem is that in the process of comparing with his desk mate, he discovered that he would lag behind him in his studies. Of course, this is just a more prominent reason, and the root cause is that the thought that you think you are worse has always affected you. But here's the good news! You can change your thinking and change your life!

There's this fascinating concept in psychology called "irrational beliefs." It's all about those unrealistic, illogical, and untenable beliefs that we all have. And guess what? It's perfectly normal for each of us to have areas where we are inferior to others. After all, no one is perfect!

The problem with the question is that the questioner is used to comparing every shortcoming with the strengths of others. This is something that can be changed! Every time the result is a blow to the ego, the questioner can choose to see it as a challenge to overcome. Over time, the psychology of inferiority can become deeply ingrained, but it doesn't have to be!

Absolutely! I believe that the questioner has many shortcomings compared to others, but why hide the advantages you have? Just like the questioner and his classmate, if you can't keep up with him in math, what about the other subjects? I'm sure you have your own strengths. Does that mean he is worse than you?

It's actually pretty tricky to say whether the questioner's character is good or bad. There are always people in the world who are better than you and also people who are worse than you. But here's the thing: the key is how you know yourself!

Everyone wants to be a perfect person, and why not? It would be amazing to be perfect, right? I don't think it's realistic, but it's still a great goal to have! And accepting one's own shortcomings is also a very important part of growing up.

Regarding the questioner's perception of this unreasonable belief, the questioner can try to look at themselves in a different light. When comparing yourself to others, don't just see your own shortcomings. Be more comprehensive! If I'm not good at this, how am I better than others at other things? There are always your own strengths!

And the questioner's belief that character will be set in adolescence is not entirely correct. Adolescence will indeed have a great impact on a person's character, but it will not be the whole story. In the days to come, you will experience all kinds of things and meet all kinds of people. It is only after experiencing many things and people that your character will slowly become complete or set in stone.

The questioner is not very old, and I think that at your age there are very few people who can make a career. Those who can achieve great success may owe it to talent, opportunity, and hard work. If we don't have any of these things, then just accept our ordinariness—and then go out and get them!

There's a big difference between ordinary and mediocre! If you can see your own good points and accept your own shortcomings, I think the questioner can be at peace in life.

I'm so happy to be able to answer this question! I really hope the questioner can feel at ease in all things.

Dear Question Asker, I am honored to have the opportunity to respond to your inquiry.

First and foremost, it is imperative to extend a supportive gesture to the questioner. During my high school years, I found myself in a situation where I was constantly comparing myself to the top student in my class, which led to feelings of inadequacy and a sense of being inferior to others. This resulted in a pervasive sense of self-doubt and even depressive moods. It is crucial to provide the questioner with a reassuring gesture and offer words of encouragement. As the adage goes, "God gave me a talent for a reason."

One of the most significant shortcomings in life is the tendency to compare oneself to others. When we compare ourselves to individuals who are perceived as wise, we may feel inferior; when we compare ourselves to those who are regarded as vulgar, we may feel inferior; and when we compare ourselves to those who are viewed as lowly, we may feel proud.

"Plum blossoms are inferior to snow in beauty, but snow loses out to plum blossoms in fragrance." It is important to recognize that everyone possesses both strengths and weaknesses. It is neither constructive nor beneficial to compare one's strengths with another's weaknesses or to dwell on perceived shortcomings. Perfection is an unattainable ideal, and it is therefore unnecessary to fret over perceived deficiencies.

The questioner's tendency to compare their shortcomings with those of others has led to the formation of a negative self-perception.

The tendency to compare oneself to others and envy their good fortune, while simultaneously struggling to accept one's own misfortune, can lead to a pervasive sense of worry and an inability to experience genuine happiness. This cyclical pattern of negative thinking is a significant contributor to a lack of joy in life. The questioner's envy of the perceived advantages of others, as evidenced by their tendency to view themselves as inferior, is a key factor in their depressive mood. This negative self-perception is further exacerbated by their tendency to dwell on their shortcomings.

As the question was posed on an online forum, there has been no opportunity for in-depth discussion of the issue. This is particularly unfortunate given that the questioner appears to be trapped in a negative mindset, which is undoubtedly a significant factor in their current depressive state. Consequently, I can only offer some suggestions regarding the questioner's current depressed mood.

Each character occupies a distinct position.

It is not uncommon for individuals to rely on external factors to bolster their confidence. To illustrate, during their formative years, the majority of children were subjected to economic privation and malnourishment.

However, there were a few students who were notably tall and robust, and they traversed the terrain with assurance. Individuals may employ a multitude of strategies to enhance their self-assurance, yet a fundamental prerequisite is the presence of a relatively sophisticated and extensive cultural foundation.

For example, although an individual may be perceived as short in stature, they may possess qualities that are perceived as tall in another context, such as spiritual or mental fortitude, or possess a particular skill in a specific area. In today's multicultural society, it is evident that each individual possesses unique and valuable qualities.

I posit that the most fundamental aspect of a diverse society is the ability of individuals to demonstrate their value, irrespective of their disability status or geographical location. Historically, there has been a perception that in order to earn a livelihood, one must engage in external work.

In the contemporary era, however, it is evident that a considerable proportion of the workforce is engaged in tasks that can be performed remotely, predominantly utilising computer-based technologies.

A mature society should have each role occupy a distinct position, with a unique positioning process, and individuals should be able to find fulfillment in their respective roles. This concept has already been well-established in some advanced European countries, where a long-standing appreciation for the value of life has led to a lack of reliance on comparison with others.

Those who engage in constant comparison with others run the risk of becoming monotonous and standardized in their outlook.

The question thus arises as to how one might alleviate depression.

1. Engage in physical activity.

The most effective method for combating negative emotions is to engage in physical activity. If one desires to dispel these emotions and elevate one's mood, it is recommended to engage in physical activity, venture outdoors, and bask in the invigorating effects of fresh air and sunshine.

It will be challenging initially, potentially more so than during a depressive episode. However, with time, one will perceive a shift in their emotional state. They will experience a sense of vitality and a reduction in depressive symptoms. It can be conceptualized as a restoration of the capacity for happiness.

Regular exercise has been demonstrated to enhance blood circulation, ensuring optimal oxygenation of the brain and a concomitant reduction in stress. Additionally, exercise has been shown to alleviate tension in the nervous system. Following exercise, the brain secretes a substance that induces a sense of well-being. This positive emotional state can be leveraged to encourage the use of exercise as a means of alleviating depressive moods.

2. Psychological Adjustment

The questioner is likely to have been experiencing a prolonged period of severe mental distress, characterised by an inability to regulate emotions and the frequent occurrence of negative thoughts. It is therefore essential that the questioner learns to regulate their emotions and relax.

There are numerous methods for relaxation, including reading engaging literature, listening to calming music, and viewing humorous stand-up comedy. Ultimately, the objective is to identify a strategy for emotional regulation and relaxation.

3. Discuss your concerns.

In the event of encountering setbacks, it is important to recognize that assistance may be sought from oneself or from external sources, such as friends. However, it is crucial to understand that unless one is willing to seek and accept help from others, it is unlikely that help will be forthcoming.

It is imperative to identify a suitable individual with whom one can engage in profound and authentic communication. This process may entail confronting one's tendency to be taciturn and unsociable. It is possible that one may encounter difficulties in finding an individual within one's immediate social circle who can provide empathetic understanding. In such instances, it may be beneficial to seek the guidance of a qualified psychological counselor or listener on a psychological platform. These professionals can facilitate a safe and supportive space for individuals to express their innermost thoughts and experiences, potentially leading to a positive shift in emotional state.

4. Identify your own personal strengths and accept yourself.

It is important to understand oneself and identify one's own strengths. Having a sense of worth and achievement can significantly enhance one's confidence. Some individuals may perceive themselves as lacking in strengths.

It is, in fact, the case that one possesses merits, although these may not be readily apparent or perceptible. Everything has two sides, and there are no absolute merits or demerits. As long as one puts one's strengths to good use, one will achieve good results.

It is recommended that individuals engage in activities that align with their interests and pursue life goals that are in line with their personal values. Accepting one's character is also crucial. When experiencing low moods, it is beneficial to engage in self-care activities that bring about positive changes.

It is possible to achieve a state of happiness through the consumption of sweet foods. The ingestion of sweet substances has been demonstrated to have a positive effect on the body, and this can also extend to the individual experiencing the food. It is, however, important to ensure that the pursuit of happiness does not result in the infliction of harm upon others.

It is imperative to refrain from allowing negative emotions to permeate one's life.

It is my sincere hope that this response is of some assistance.

It seems that the questioner may be experiencing a sense of inner disapproval and self-doubt, which have been present throughout his life and have a significant impact on his self-perception.

One factor that may potentially influence the questioner's self-perception is that

It is often thought that a person's character is largely formed during adolescence. I am currently in that phase of life, and I must admit that I am not my best self. Regardless of what has happened before, I recognize that I have room for improvement.

This kind of thinking can be likened to a spell, preventing the already adult questioner from moving forward while desperately hoping that they can change. What can be done in the face of such a dilemma?

This kind of thinking can be likened to a spell, preventing the adult questioner from moving forward while desperately hoping that they can change. What can be done in the face of such a dilemma?

I hope that by sharing some ideas, I can help the question owner to deal with this difficult problem to a certain extent.

I hope that sharing the following ideas will be helpful to the questioner in dealing with this difficult problem.

Perhaps it would be helpful to reflect on the reliability of the above idea.

It is often thought that a person's character is largely formed during adolescence. I am currently in that phase of life, and I have to admit that I am not always my best self. Regardless of what has happened before, I recognize that I have room for improvement.

It is understandable that, given the length of time this idea has been held, there may be a tendency to view it as true, even if it is not necessarily the case.

It's not uncommon to receive such reactions. It might be helpful to consider giving ourselves the opportunity to re-examine the idea itself from the perspective of a detective.

The following questions may be helpful in considering the reliability of this idea from multiple perspectives:

1. Could you please clarify what evidence supports this idea?

I must admit that I haven't been at my best recently, and it's clear that I haven't been as good as I could have been since I turned 17.

Could you please elaborate on the evidence against this idea?

I am grateful that there are still some people around me who have sincerely praised me, although I don't quite remember what it was.

2. Might there be other explanations or points of view to consider?

I respectfully disagree. I believe that a person's character is ultimately formed at the age of 17, although I recognize that this understanding may not be universally accepted.

3. What could possibly go wrong? If it does, how might I best handle it?

This is the most challenging situation I've faced, and I've come here to seek guidance and support.

Could you kindly shed some light on what the best possible outcome might be?

It may be the case that the law of character formation at the age of 17 is flawed, and that as an adult I can still help myself.

Could you kindly shed some light on what the most realistic outcome might be?

Seventeen years old has a significant impact, and I believe that I can play a role in influencing it. That is why I am here seeking guidance and support.

4. Could you please clarify what impact you believe automatic thinking will have?

I'm afraid I'm unable to do anything, so I'm resigned to the situation.

I wonder what impact it would have if I were to change my way of thinking.

I believe there may be something I can do, although I'm not yet sure what it is.

5. If my friend or family member were to find themselves in this situation, how would I approach them?

I'm unsure how to proceed. It seems as though my fate is sealed.

6. How might I be of better service to myself?

I would encourage you to try your best.

You may wish to consider trying the above methods to help yourself see more possibilities beyond this idea.

It is also important to recognize that depression can result from a complex interplay of biological, psychological, and social factors. These influences can potentially impact our self-perception, our interactions with others, and our understanding of the external world.

Secondly, it is important to understand that depression is a complex condition that can result from a range of factors, both biological, psychological and social. It can also influence how we perceive ourselves, others and the outside world.

It is possible that our preoccupation with our own thoughts may be a contributing factor to depression. Depression can be a recurring issue, and a systematic and comprehensive treatment approach involving drug therapy, psychotherapy, and counseling may be beneficial in helping to maintain a relatively good state.

It may be helpful to consider that starting treatment for depression could be an important step in changing the questioner's perception that "I am bad, I am inferior."

I am merely a psychologist who does not delve into the intricacies of human nature, but rather, strives to nurture the human heart. I extend my deepest blessings to you.

I am a psychologist who does not delve into the intricacies of human nature but rather strives to nurture the human heart. I extend my blessings to you.

Hello there!

I'm a mindfulness coach, and I believe that learning is the treasure of the body.

From what you've told me, I can really feel how you're struggling with so many different things. It's so hard when you're confused and overwhelmed.

I don't want to get into all the nitty-gritty of your self-doubt after being seated next to the top student in class. I just want to give you three little pieces of advice that I think might help.

First, I suggest you try to accept your current state, my friend.

I know it might sound a little strange, but I promise you it will help! It will make your heart feel a little lighter, which will help you think about what to do next.

You mentioned that when the spring semester of 2007 began, you and the top student in your class became classmates. This made you feel pretty frustrated because he was clearly more talented than you. As a result, you started to believe that you weren't good at all, that you were actually pretty terrible. There's another thing, too. You think that a person's character is set by the time they're 17, so you've carried on thinking poorly of yourself. Deep down, you feel like you're not good at all. Now you're really confused and don't know whether you're good or bad. In fact, if someone else were in your situation, they'd probably feel just as confused and torn up as you do. This is because the sense of frustration once felt can have a profound impact on a person, especially during adolescence, which is a critical period for self-understanding (or self-evaluation). So you need to try to accept your current state. "Seeing" that confused, puzzled, overwhelmed, and painful self of yours will free up mental energy so that you can think about other things. Otherwise, your mind will continue to be filled with all kinds of negative emotions.

It's so important to give yourself the space to understand and accept yourself. This will help you to embrace change and create positive shifts in your current situation. It might seem a little strange, but it's true! Change is all about allowing for new possibilities.

Secondly, I'd like to suggest that you take a moment to view your own state in a rational way.

Because when you think things through, you can really get to know yourself and the world around you better.

To look at it rationally, there are three simple things you can do:

First, remember that the wonderful, unique you is already good enough and worthy of love.

In your description, you ask whether you are good or bad. I can tell you with all my heart that you are valuable just the way you are!

Maybe you'll still have doubts or negative thoughts, and that's okay! It's natural to feel this way when you're going through a rough patch. But remember, you have good qualities too. Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses, and you're no exception. From what you've shared, I can see that you're a great communicator. You've sought help, which shows you're motivated and willing to grow. You have so much to offer! Believe in yourself, and know that you have time and energy to improve and become the best version of yourself. Remember, time is on your side.

Second, remember that life isn't about competing with others. It's about being your best self.

You were feeling frustrated back in 2007 because your classmate was really good at studying, and you ended up denying yourself. It's important to understand that life isn't a competition with others, but with your ideal self. Just because he was good at studying and you weren't as good or were really bad at it, it doesn't mean you're a bad person. Your goodness or badness isn't defined by your academic performance, so there's no need to compare your goodness or prove it.

It's also important to understand that some people just don't have a natural talent for learning. Not being good at learning just means that this person is not good at learning, and it has nothing to do with their goodness or badness.

And finally, remember that everyone's perception of themselves can change. We all change as we grow and learn.

You said that you think a person's character is finalized at the age of 17, but this is actually arbitrary because you are ignoring the changes that people undergo. I can see why you might think that, but it's worth remembering that people change a lot between the ages of 17 and 27!

It's so important to understand that people are always changing. Their personalities and how they see themselves will naturally change as well.

I know it can be tough, but I'm here to help. When you look at it rationally like this, some of the negative emotions in your heart may be resolved.

I really encourage you to focus on yourself and think about what you can do to feel better.

When you take a good, honest look at your own situation, you might just find the answer you're looking for. At this point, you focus on yourself and try your best to do a good job.

Let's say you're having doubts about whether you're good enough. Just tell yourself, "I am unique, I am good, and I am worthy of love." Keep repeating this to yourself and you'll start to feel better.

You can also focus on your own areas for improvement, accept what you can't change, and work on what you can. When you do this in a targeted way to make yourself better, you're likely to feel proud of yourself and your mood will improve as a result.

You can also tell yourself when you feel like you've accomplished nothing, "I still have a lot of time and energy to improve and perfect myself, I have to believe in myself." When you look at yourself in this positive light, it will not only boost your self-confidence, but also motivate you to change because you accept yourself. And so on, in short, you need to know that you can do something to improve the situation.

I know it can be tough, but when you start taking action, the various negative emotions in your heart will naturally start to resolve themselves. Believe me, action is sometimes the best medicine!

I really hope my answer helps you! If you'd like to chat some more, just click on 'Find a coach' at the bottom and we can have a one-on-one conversation.

Hello,

Host:

I'm Zeng Chen, a heart exploration coach. I've read the post and your self-assessment carefully.

At the same time, it's worth noting that the host was courageous in facing their own inner feelings and actively seeking help on the platform. This undoubtedly helped the host better understand and recognize themselves, allowing them to adjust and encounter a better self.

Next, I'll share some observations and thoughts from the post that might help you see things differently.

1. Adolescent narcissism

It has been observed that the host mentioned something that happened when he was in school in 2007. He was sitting next to the top student in the class, and from the beginning of math class, he would do the problems while I didn't.

After making many comparisons, I always felt inferior to others because he was always faster. As a result, I found many things that I was inferior to others in. These inadequacies, along with my inability to complete the homework, made me feel like I was bad and inferior.

I imagine it must have been pretty rough going through all that at the time, right? We're in the thick of adolescence, and that's when narcissism tends to kick in. We're really striving to be perfect and good.

We all want to be our best selves. When we don't meet our own expectations, it can lead to feelings of dislike towards our true selves.

For the original poster, your ideal self is "the first in the class." When you don't meet that standard, you think you're bad and not good enough.

2. Our attention is selective.

When we think we're bad and inferior, where does our attention go?

And we focus more on our flaws. If we've done 9 out of 10 things well, we don't praise or affirm ourselves.

If we mess up, we tend to beat ourselves up. We'll even tell ourselves we're terrible at what we do.

So what happens over time? We start to believe that we're bad and inferior.

Now that we're adults, we can look at things from a more mature perspective. Was our understanding of ourselves reasonable back then? Was our self-assessment limited?

We also talked about our narcissism during adolescence and how our attention was selective. Do we need to adjust those irrational perceptions from back then?

3. Accept who you are in the present.

I think the original poster realizes that constantly thinking they're bad and inferior has caused them a lot of pain. Even self-doubt and self-attack, which consume a lot of our energy, and more seriously, can make us feel depressed.

Depression is basically our own attack on ourselves.

Fortunately, this suffering has now awakened you, and you are thinking about getting to know yourself again and finding ways to change yourself. We can see that self-attack makes us worse and worse and more and more introverted.

So, can we do it differently? How about self-care and self-acceptance? If we let ourselves off the hook, we can live well.

Acceptance is the first step to making a change for the better.

So, how do we accept it? We have to accept the parts of ourselves that we cannot change and focus our energy on the parts that we can adjust. Then we'll encounter a better version of ourselves.

And when we accept ourselves, we'll have less internal conflict and more energy to grow.

4. Improvement and learning

It's also important for us to learn and grow. We're facing challenges now because of how we see things. To overcome these challenges, we need to expand our knowledge and enhance our thinking.

The way to better solve problems is to use higher dimensions to combat lower dimensions.

And the subject of learning can be psychology. Psychology can indeed help us in many ways.

I hope these are useful for you and give you some ideas. If you have any questions, just click on Find a Coach so we can chat and work together one-on-one.

Ocean Sound Qingxin Analysis:

1. Prioritize your efforts. If you wish to assess your performance relative to others, begin by evaluating your own efforts. What factors contributed to the discrepancy between you and your colleague?

1. [Prioritize effort] When comparing results with others, it is essential to first assess the level of effort invested. What factors contributed to the discrepancy between you and your colleague?

You are not concerned about the reason, but rather the result and your perceived inferiority to others. Achieving a position of number one requires a significant investment of effort. You have not provided any information regarding the effort your deskmate has invested, nor have you evaluated your own effort in comparison to that of your deskmate. It is essential to assess the level of effort you have exerted.

Have you exerted your utmost effort in your work?

2. There is always something to be learned from a third party in a conversation. Birds fly far with phoenixes and dragons, and people become proud with virtuous and noble companions. Many people hope to be with people of a higher level. For example, men like to find rich and beautiful women, and women like to find handsome and rich men as their lovers. They all hope to be with outstanding people of a higher level. What you cannot accept is that you are inferior to others. Either you choose to be with people who are inferior to you in any situation in the future, so that you can be lazy and unmotivated; or you change and surpass others through hard work.

3. [Eternal and unchanging] You have previously stated that personality is finalized at the age of 17. However, the current position is that personality is subject to lifelong learning and growth. If personality is finalized, what is the rationale for growth, change, or effort? The one constant in this world is change.

According to your understanding, if an individual believes they are good at age 17, can they maintain this perception indefinitely? Can they continue to view themselves as good when confronted with challenges in various aspects of life, such as education, employment, relationships, and retirement?

4. Is the world you present to me a binary one, in which everything is either black or white?

The worldview is either black or white. There is no room for gray, resulting in a monochromatic outlook. Instead of a vibrant spectrum of possibilities, there is only a binary existence of either/or.

Your issue can be likened to forcing colorful flowers to say, "Are you black or white?" Those who are depressed often lack color in their lives and tend to perceive the world in stark, binary terms.

5. [Change now] Given the passage of time, it is evident that you have not achieved the desired results. Furthermore, you frequently experience depressive episodes. Could this be attributed to the lack of resolution to the issues from the past? There are three ways to approach life: 1) People who dwell on past experiences and dwell on memories are prone to depression.

2) Individuals who are apprehensive about the future are more likely to experience anxiety. 3) Those who are focused on the present tend to be happier.

The issue you have been facing for some time is that you have been dwelling on past events. The current situation is not a result of unresolved issues from the past, but rather a consequence of your failure to capitalize on opportunities for growth by focusing on the present. Given that the past cannot be altered, the only viable option is to address the present moment. If you are unable to accept your shortcomings, it is essential to address them directly. If you perceive any negative aspects, it is crucial to create a list and address each one individually, working to rectify them.

If a change is not feasible at this time, it is important to accept the situation and move forward. It is crucial to understand that thoughts alone will not solve problems; action is required.