How to move on after discovering that a boyfriend of four years has been cheating for a year and a half?

"He spends all his time, money, and energy on me, so why does he sneak out to flirt and go on blind dates behind my back...

"

1. You've been together for four years, which is a long time. You're probably feeling a bit tired of each other and ready to take the next step. It's possible that he's lost interest in you and doesn't feel the same excitement about being together as he did when you first started dating.

So, he'll be looking for excitement and a sense of identity. He might go flirting or go on a blind date, for example.

This will help you feel the excitement and admiration you felt at the start of your relationship.

2. Once we understand the problem, we can start looking for a solution. It's clear that he has genuine feelings for you.

However, your daily life together may already resemble that of an old married couple, without the excitement of being in love. Things like eating meals together, going to the movies, traveling, visiting the park, etc., can add fun to your otherwise ordinary and boring life.

You need to communicate with him and do more of the things couples do to start dating again.

3. If you know each other well and have built trust, you can talk about marriage, like meeting the parents, so that both families can get to know each other.

Then you can start working towards getting married, so that you can both start playing your roles as soon as possible. If you find that your personalities don't really match, and that you've completely lost your love and feelings for each other, then

If you've made up your mind, just break up with a smile and go back to pursuing your own lives.

Hello, girl!

From your description, it's clear to me that you had a real relationship. You shared four years together and made memories that will last a lifetime. You were there for each other through thick and thin, and he showed you care and attention. I'm glad he left you early. Otherwise, you would have fallen deeper and deeper!

My boyfriend left me suddenly, and I wasted four years of my youth on him. It's a shame, but it's time to move on. Let me give you a hug first!

First of all, marriage is an exchange of values, not just an exchange of emotions. Four years is not a short time. After four years of living together, you should know each other well and have experienced the life of cooking, cleaning, and raising children.

I am certain that you had a lot of fun together over the past four years and made many romantic memories. That is why his departure makes you so reluctant to let go. I am convinced that he also deeply loved you, but leaving was the truth! Otherwise, he would not have been so decisive.

Is that right?

Secondly, if his departure was really so decisive, there must be a reason behind it. As you described, the moments when he said he loved you were all real. Love is a verb that needs to flow in order to be conveyed.

I love you, and I know where a man's heart is—it's where his money is too!

I believe there was a turning point, something must have happened in the middle. If you want to keep him, adjust your emotions and ask for clarification!

You need to love someone who motivates you, not someone who always wears you down. You can't control your emotions, but you can control your actions. If the other person has already decided to leave, obsessing over them will only hurt your self-esteem. In that case, you need to move on gracefully!

If you want to be chosen, don't wait around.

Improve yourself. Love is only a part of life, not the whole.

If you can bring benefits to the other person, they are good. If you cannot, they are selfish. San Mao wrote in "Baby": "Things that come because of fate will eventually come to an end when the time is up."

Don't waste time dwelling on it and suffering. Work hard to improve yourself and make your life better. That's the best revenge you can take on him! You can ignore me today, but you'll never be able to get close to me again.

I want to know your opinion.

I have a quote for you: If that person spoils you, it doesn't matter if you get married or not. If that person doesn't love you, the law can't protect you because the law can't hold onto people's hearts. Getting married doesn't mean happiness, and being single doesn't mean unhappiness either. We are born as individuals, and in the end, we can't all leave at the same time. Love is a spiritual luxury, and you can do without it. Thank you for warming my youth!

Hello. I know you're confused and struggling. Your four-year relationship ended with infidelity.

It's the worst kind of hurt.

"He spent all his time, money, and energy on me, so why did he go out to flirt and go on blind dates?" If he really gave you all his thoughts and energy, then why did he do that? He has gradually moved away from your heart.

It's ironic to say "the world has deceived us" when we've misjudged the person. We're not ready to accept this. Even though he's done wrong, we still try to recall signs that prove he loves you.

A third person can't be in a relationship.

"Is there no true love in the world?" I believe there is.

If you love each other, you won't break up. You'll always meet someone new.

It's only been four years, and you loved with all your heart. He may regret it some night in the future.

This has nothing to do with us.

This relationship is like a flower that has withered after being watered with all your heart. But it will not stop you from planting a bigger and more beautiful flower.

Be strong, girl.

I wish you light and a warm future.

Dear Question Asker, Thank you for your question. Best regards, [Name]

After carefully reviewing your inquiry, I empathize with your situation. It is unclear when you became aware of the circumstances. Based on your description, you expressed your distress and sought clarification from him last night, indicating a relatively short time frame for discovery. In the immediate aftermath, it is natural to experience a range of intense emotions, including shock, confusion, and distress. These feelings can be overwhelming and may persist for an extended period. I am available to provide further support and guidance as needed.

It is advisable to ascertain the truth of the situation as soon as possible. If you do not, there is a possibility that he will continue to deceive you and that he may even leave you for another woman should he meet someone he wishes to marry. Therefore, although you are currently suffering, it would be prudent to act promptly.

It would appear that he is still looking for his own needs. In your opinion, he has already spent all his money and thoughts on you. However, given that he is able to flirt and go on blind dates, it seems likely that the money and thoughts you see in him must not be all he has. This is why it is often said that people in love may have a much lower IQ than usual.

It is important to note that self-blame is unwarranted in this situation. This is a common phenomenon among women during the course of a romantic relationship. It is understandable to perceive this as a new phase in the relationship, distinct from the initial period of infatuation. However, it is crucial to acknowledge that this transition is inevitable and requires a direct approach.

We must then consider how to respond to this challenge in an optimal manner. I will present my own perspective on this matter.

Firstly, I believe you have only recently become aware of this situation and are currently in a stage of disbelief. It is precisely because you are disbelieving it that you cried and asked him last night if the love of these four years was all a lie. He said that every moment was real. I believe the first two years may have been real, but for the last two years, the authenticity may have been discounted for him. Of course, it is impossible for me, as an outsider, to comment on the relationship between the two of you. However, based on my own experience, I can say that you gave him 100%. In his heart, you are the one who is very safe, but safe, but not satisfying him. Let's call it romantic!

This is why he is pursuing other options. It seems there have been minor disagreements between you, and you may view them as reasonable. However, to him, they may seem like significant issues. Given that he has already taken action, it is important to acknowledge the possibility of betrayal. It is understandable that you may be reluctant to believe this, but it is crucial to return to reality and avoid making assumptions about him. It would be advisable to treat him as you would any other individual and then re-evaluate the relationship.

Secondly, I stated that it would allow you to see his true character. I am aware that this is not an easy task, given that we have been pursuing marriage for the past four years and our sincerity has been severely compromised. We must acknowledge that in the future, we will experience significant anger. Our four years of dedicated commitment have been replaced by his pursuit of other relationships. It is evident that your emotional outburst last night was an attempt to release some of this pent-up frustration. It seems that you may still be in contact with him. I believe the most effective course of action would be to express your anger fully. Observe his response and assess his level of sincerity.

It is important to note that when we are angry, it is crucial to express our feelings in a constructive manner. It is not the act of expressing anger itself that is the issue, but rather the manner in which we express it. To effectively manage anger, it is essential to choose words or strategies that allow us to express our emotions in a productive way. When we express anger, the primary objective is to observe and regulate our behavior, not to express anger for the sake of it. Controlling our anger can have significant benefits in the long term. If you have the time and inclination, I highly recommend reading the book "Nonviolent Communication." It provides valuable insights on effective communication methods. I believe it can be a valuable resource for you.

Finally, let's try non-violent communication. If you find that he has a reasonable explanation, that is, even though he occasionally has grievances against you, but after you have talked openly, you can see the good in each other and it's still suitable, then of course that's best. We are all capable of making mistakes, and it's not terrible to make mistakes, but it's even better if you can grow from them. So if after all this, your relationship is even stronger, then perhaps we should be grateful to him for this stage. Of course, it's also possible that after communicating, the hearts of each other will drift further apart. Then I think after this period of adjustment, you have seen his true colors. We have been so sincere with him, we have been so sad, and he can still justify it. He can still feel that he has a reason to go on blind dates and chat up women. Then I really hope that despite the pain in your heart, we must be strong inside. Don't beg him too much. Human nature really can't stand being nagged. If you beg more, he may drift further away from you. So I feel that if that's the case, it's like having a thousand arrows piercing your heart, a thousand knives slicing through you. We have to bear it ourselves.

I assure you that when you have gone through this challenging phase, it will undoubtedly be painful. However, after you have truly gone through it, there will come a day when you will feel relaxed about marriage and you will be very glad that you have endured all the pain. Since he has initiated this episode and has not contacted you, it is evident that he is not someone you can trust with your life. The person who appears in the future will undoubtedly be the most suitable individual with whom to spend time in marriage.

Ultimately, I hope you can achieve a state of calm, clarity, and critical thinking to identify a path to love that aligns with your needs and goals.

As you embark on your journey to find love, I want you to know that the world and I support you. Let's move forward together!

Dear questioner, Thank you for taking the time to ask your question.

After reading your question and empathizing with the pain you're experiencing, I'd like to offer some words of encouragement. I'd be happy to discuss the questions you've raised with you.

1. Regarding the fact that he loves you very much and still chose to cheat.

Regarding the part about "How do I get over being cheated on? He invested a great deal of time, money, and energy in our relationship, so it's understandable that you're struggling to understand why he would go behind your back and flirt with other women and go on blind dates. It's a difficult situation to navigate, and it's natural to question the existence of true love in the world."

The psychologist Mizuki Miki once offered an intriguing perspective on infidelity. She suggested that in cases of infidelity, the infidelity of the visitor might be a defense against feelings of inferiority.

If they were to drop their defenses, it would likely lead to some challenges in their marriage, and they may even discover some underlying issues. This concept also applies to love.

Perhaps what the plain language is trying to tell us is that the person who cheated has very little to do with us, and everything to do with themselves. In that case, it might be helpful to remember that it's not your fault.

It's natural to wonder why someone who loves you so much would still cheat. The reality is that he did cheat and hurt you as a result.

I wonder if that might be the case.

Perhaps the most important thing to consider before trying to understand the other person and what they did is to take a moment to reflect on our own experiences and feelings in response to this situation. What are we affected by?

2. About the questioner: It would be beneficial to consider ways to move on from the situation as soon as possible.

If I might inquire, would you say that your desire is to emerge from this challenging period as soon as possible?

If I may say so, it's okay. I'm here with you. It's often the case that the more we want to get rid of something as soon as possible, the more we find ourselves being entangled.

For instance, the questioner is experiencing negative emotions triggered by this infidelity.

When negative emotions arise, it may be helpful to consider that it is not always necessary to reject them or to try to move on from them too quickly. Instead, it can be beneficial to muster the courage to face these emotions directly.

I believe that, in fact, it is the shortest way to completely get over it.

As Mizuki Miki, a renowned psychologist, also observed:

Many people are afraid to face their own pain, perhaps because they believe it will overwhelm them. This can result in the development of a complex defense system, which can in turn make things more complicated.

It might be helpful to remember that pain does not swallow us up.

It might be helpful to remember that no feeling is going to swallow us up. What we can do is give our attention and awareness to these feelings, and they will help us to understand ourselves better.

When we become aware of it, we can begin to transform what was once dead energy into living energy.

It might be helpful to consider how much perseverance is needed to transform painful experiences into creative solutions. This could be an example of the flow of life energy.

It may be helpful to acknowledge the pain rather than trying to ignore it.

Perhaps the best way to approach this is to face the problem head-on, without avoiding it, and then, after taking the time to understand it fully, to identify the root cause of the pain.

I believe that the best way to free ourselves from suffering is to identify and address the root problem.

In addition, it would be helpful to accept the fact that your boyfriend has been unfaithful to you, both intentionally and unintentionally. Then, it might be beneficial to work through the painful feelings.

Naturally, this part is not always straightforward. It may be helpful to take a moment to reflect on your current feelings.

3. Regarding the loss of love.

Perhaps we could say that we are experiencing a sense of loss of love over and over again at this moment?

This may also be causing you pain now, as well as affecting your deeper self in a way that is difficult to bear.

It may be the case that the loss of an intimate relationship can sometimes also awaken issues from early attachment relationships. This part could be a good way to promote your own growth and healing.

It might be helpful to come together and hold a mourning ritual for the loss of the current relationship. This could involve deleting joint photos, burning each other's letters or photos, and so on.

It would be beneficial to carry out a similar mourning ritual, using the power of ritual to bring us face to face with the facts, to fully feel the pain involved, and then to regain our energy.

I hope the above answers are helpful to you. I wish you well.

Dear, I know this has been a difficult time for you.

Your boyfriend's infidelity has had a significant impact on you. It caught you off guard and caused you a great deal of pain.

I'm sure you had many good times together and trusted your boyfriend deeply, which is why you're so upset. Being cheated on can easily make people doubt themselves, lose confidence in others, feel lost, and may even trigger a lot of disappointment, fear, and self-attack.

Tell me, how did you feel when your boyfriend betrayed you? And how did you interpret the situation? Was it self-blame, the feeling that you are not good enough, that caused this result?

Or are you angry, scared, or hurt?

Betrayal by a boyfriend is an unpleasant experience. The feelings it triggers differ quite a bit from person to person. Whatever you feel, it is probably an uncomfortable feeling. There may also be deeper, unbearable negative feelings.

The best way to love and care for ourselves is to allow ourselves to grieve, to be vulnerable, to be angry, and to honestly let our inner feelings show and flow.

We must allow ourselves to fully grieve when we experience something bad. We cannot simply get rid of the impact of these things on us. We need to come out of the shadows, become strong, and start a new life. But we cannot do that if we are closed off from our true feelings, our true anger, hurt, vulnerability, and fear.

These repressed feelings accumulate in our hearts, and they will always be triggered and trouble us when we encounter similar situations in the future. That incident has truly become a life-affecting shadow.

You're worried this incident will affect your future relationships. You want to move on and start a new life.

You have to get out of the shadows. Go into the shadows and see every inch and every strand of them clearly. That's the only way the shadows will lose their power to control you.

You can do the same. Be gentle with yourself, express your feelings honestly, and slowly sort out the meaning of this relationship for you in all its facets. It's likely that, in addition to the impact of this event, it has also triggered some uncomfortable memories from your childhood.

You can explore all of these directions. When you see them clearly, you will truly let go.

You will no longer be the same person.

Such an experience will help you gain a deeper understanding of yourself, your relationships, and your desires. It will also show you what kind of role you can create in a new relationship. When you have all of this, you will undoubtedly meet a better relationship.

You have gained a more mature and powerful self.

I am confident that this will be helpful to you. Best wishes.

Dear question asker,

I empathize with your emotional state and comprehend the emotional turmoil evident in your inquiry. The tone of the question suggests a profound sense of disbelief, helplessness, and disappointment. Let us examine the matter further:

The question then arises as to why the individual in question would spend time, money, and effort on the other party if they were to engage in flirting and going on blind dates behind the other's back.

The sentence presents a contradiction. On the one hand, it asserts that money and effort are spent on oneself. However, on the other hand, it suggests that the other party engages in activities such as flirting and going on blind dates. If money and

The sentence presents a series of contradictions. On the one hand, it asserts that money and effort are spent on oneself. However, on the other hand, it suggests that the other party engages in activities such as flirting and attending blind dates. If money and effort are genuinely spent on oneself, it is implausible that such activities could be carried out surreptitiously. Furthermore, if such activities are indeed taking place, it is difficult to reconcile how they could be conducted without the other party's knowledge.

The sentence is replete with contradictions. On the one hand, it asserts that money and effort are spent on oneself. However, on the other hand, it claims that the other party engages in clandestine activities, such as flirting and attending blind dates. If money and effort are genuinely spent on oneself, it is implausible that such activities could be carried out surreptitiously. Conversely, if such activities are indeed taking place, it is difficult to reconcile how one could simultaneously be spending money and effort on oneself.

This sentence alone is sufficient to reveal a contradiction. It can be imagined that there should be many other times in life when there are inconsistencies. This may require the questioner to calm down and think carefully about which are objective facts and which are just their own conjectures.

A single sentence is sufficient to reveal a multitude of inconsistencies. It is reasonable to posit that there are numerous other instances throughout the remainder of the text where similar contradictions may be found. This may require the questioner to take a moment to calm down and think carefully about which statements are objective facts and which are just their own conjectures.

The question is posed as to whether there is truly no longer any such thing as true love in the world.

The existence of true love is indisputable; it is simply a matter of identifying it when it manifests. One's perception of true love is subjective and can vary considerably from one individual to another. As Shakespeare observed, "A thousand readers will have a thousand Hamlets." It is essential to ascertain one's personal definition of true love and then to seek or await its manifestation in accordance with that definition.

"Those moments when he professed his love were genuine."

It is possible that love is a genuine emotion, and that hatred is also a genuine emotion. It is important to understand that people change, and that the world is in a state of constant change. Perhaps the only constant is change itself.

It is therefore important not to succumb to excessive sadness. It is inevitable that both parties will undergo changes, and it is crucial to maintain a forward-thinking outlook and continue moving forward.

The following section will address methods for adaptation.

Furthermore, it is essential to accept oneself.

In addition, it is important to consider one's strengths and weaknesses, as well as one's past and present states. For instance, it is crucial to acknowledge that infidelity can cause significant distress, and that such feelings are not uncommon. It is essential to recognize that these emotions are temporary and will eventually subside.

Furthermore, it is important to believe in one's ability to change the current situation, to end the relationship, and to improve one's quality of life.

It is also important to learn to summarize.

It is important to take the time to reflect on the situation at hand. This can be achieved by taking a step back and analysing the circumstances in a calm and objective manner. It is essential to consider both positive and negative aspects of the relationship, as well as the individual contributions of both parties. This process of reflection can be beneficial in identifying areas for improvement and potential solutions.

It is not only work that requires review, but also relationships. In order to facilitate a productive analysis and summary, it is essential to find a quiet place, calm down, and consider the past four years. This should include both positive and negative experiences, as well as identifying areas of strength and potential improvement.

It would be beneficial to consider the reasons behind this situation. It is likely that there were significant turning points along the way, which may have been overlooked.

It would be advisable to attempt to persuade him.

The aforementioned statement was made in earnest, yet the veracity of the remainder is uncertain. It is possible that the other party was forced to attend the blind date by their family, or that they were afraid to think too deeply about the situation and did not inform the questioner of these concerns.

"He said that the moments when he said he loved me were all real." It is assumed that this statement was made in earnest, but it is unclear whether this is the case. It is possible that the questioner may wish to communicate with the other person again to ascertain whether there was any misunderstanding (such as the family forcing them to go on a blind date, or the other person being afraid to think too much about it and not telling you).

It would be beneficial to ascertain whether there is a potential for reconciliation of the issues between the two parties.

The aforementioned considerations may be pertinent to the situation at hand.

It is important to learn to let go.

In order to achieve a resolution, it is necessary to identify the key moments in the relationship and determine whether there were any misunderstandings or miscommunications along the way. It is also important to consider whether there were any external factors, such as family pressure or fear of commitment, that may have influenced the relationship.

In the event that there is no possibility of retaining the other person or if there is no longer any need for them in one's life, it is necessary to learn how to let go.

It may be challenging to let go immediately, but one can adjust their mindset by engaging in activities that are enjoyable, continuously developing themselves, and striving to become a better version of themselves. With time, these actions can facilitate a gradual release from the situation and a sense of relief.

It is imperative to maintain an unwavering belief in the power of love.

It is imperative to maintain an unwavering belief in the power of love. Despite the pain and disappointment it has caused, it is a force that has shaped and improved you. It is through this belief that you can find the strength to meet a better version of him.

One must maintain a belief in the capacity of love to facilitate personal growth, despite the potential for disappointment. It is through this process of growth that one can become a more refined version of themselves, which may ultimately lead to the realization of a more optimal romantic partnership.

It is my hope that my response will prove beneficial to the original poster. Sincerely,

Hello, I can see you're confused. Let's talk.

You're going through some relationship issues. I'm here for you.

Your boyfriend of four years was unfaithful to you for a year and a half and it was discovered.

You're looking for advice on how to move on and meet someone new.

So, you've already broken up with your boyfriend?

Infidelity can be a kind of psychological trauma.

This experience might make you reluctant to trust men in the future, and you might even think there are no good men out there.

So, what should you do now?

I think you should speak to a professional counselor. They can help you work through the experience of your boyfriend cheating on you.

To really get over the trauma of your boyfriend cheating on you, you can try the following methods.

For instance, you could write him a formal letter of farewell, with no limit on the number of words or length.

You might also want to try the "empty chair technique."

The "empty chair technique" is simple: sit in a chair and imagine your boyfriend sitting in an empty chair on the other side. Then, say everything you want to say to him.

Often, after talking through things, you'll find you can move on.

If you're not sure how to use the "empty chair technique" mentioned above, it's a good idea to seek help from a professional counselor.

A counselor can give you more relevant, helpful, and constructive advice from a third-party perspective, without judgment and in an objective manner.

A counselor can also help you get your head back in the game when it comes to relationships.

I really hope you can find a good solution to the problems you're having soon.

I can think of these now.

I hope my answers above will be helpful and inspiring to you. I'm the one answering, and I'm learning something new every day.

Here at Yixinli, we love what we do and we love our customers. Best wishes!

Hello!

Reading your question, I want to give you a warm hug. It takes more than a day to freeze three feet of snow. From what you've said, you've been in love for four years and have only discovered infidelity after one and a half years.

It's possible that during this process, some problems have already arisen in your relationship. Even he is perfunctory and getting busier and busier. You just don't feel it because you are living in your own world.

It's time to accept the situation and take a break.

This has already happened, and there's no changing it. He's already cheated, and there have been problems in your relationship.

But it has never been resolved. Your partner feels that you can no longer satisfy him.

It's not your fault, but the other person's way of solving the problem isn't right. It's caused you more harm and trouble.

He feels that you are unable to satisfy him, so he looks elsewhere for what he needs.

If you're feeling down, it's okay to cry. Take some time to relax and allow yourself to grieve. It's the gentlest form of healing.

Then go and have a chat with your girlfriends. This guy has made you realise who you really are!

You'll have the chance to find a better marriage and love partner for yourself! And you'll be single and free again!

You can do whatever you want without worrying about how it affects your partner. It's a good thing for you. How great is that?

Start your day with a good breakfast, go to work, do what you want to do, and rest well. You'll have the freedom to focus on your work without any distractions!

Relationships are a mirror that helps you improve and adjust yourself.

In this mirror of relationships, you see your own discomfort and also the strange behavior of others. But have you ever wondered why you met, got to know, and fell in love with this person?

It's not just bad luck and stubbornness!

The way we see our parents' relationship, the way we get along with them, the way we interact with them, and the feelings and emotions we experience in the process all influence the kind of partner we will find. So how can we break these patterns?

Over the years, Wu Zhihong has looked at lots of cases and reflected on what she has learned. She has come to understand why family and love can hurt us and make us uncomfortable.

At the end, it also suggests ways and methods for personal growth and becoming a better version of yourself. These two books are "Why Home Hurts" and "Why Love Hurts." After reading them, you will understand yourself better, heal yourself with happy actions, and gain happiness and joy.

I hope my answer is helpful. Ultimately, though, the choice is yours.

I hope you have the strength and courage to leave this relationship and find happiness. Best wishes!

I just wanted to say that I love you and I think the world loves you too!

Hello, I'm Gu Yi. I'm modest and unassuming.

After four years, you find the other person so unfamiliar.

Don't doubt love.

The beginning of a relationship is always defined in different ways. You have to believe that the happy times you spent together were real. As long as there is beauty, happiness is real.

People cheat for different reasons. Whatever the reason, it shows there's not enough love. It's hard to accept, but we must have the courage to accept love and the strength to leave.

We should understand human nature. They say distance makes things beautiful. You thought you were rushing towards marriage, but you discovered it wasn't what you imagined.

What's good for dating isn't always good for marriage, and vice versa. People are trying to find what's good for them. This can be sad, but it's true.

How should you handle this?

Grow up in this relationship. Some people make you learn to love, and some make you learn to grow up. First, allow yourself to feel sad. There is a process to going through a metamorphosis, so allow yourself to express these emotions.

You can eat another bowl of rice after the first one has been digested. We need to accept that we grow after a relationship ends.

We stumble and get hurt along the way, but it's for a reason. It's for going through tough times and waiting for better times.

If you've been hurt, let it heal. Then find your way. As you grow, learn to rely on yourself. Look for love that nourishes you.

We can't control others, but we can control ourselves. So be good to yourself and do your best.

Bloom, and the butterflies will come.

Best wishes!

Hello, question asker.

I want to give you a warm hug to comfort you.

You are in pain and your heart is confused!

I don't know what your current emotional state is like, but I can tell you this:

Tell me, are you depressed, anxious, angry, or sad?

A complex mix of emotions, caused by conflict.

Your boyfriend has given you a lot over the past four years. You felt at one point in time that he loved you deeply and unwaveringly.

He was deeply in love with you. On the other hand, he actually cheated on you, which made you feel betrayed.

His behavior shattered your illusion of unwavering and unchanging love.

It is only natural that the depression, sadness, and anger you are feeling are a result of the disillusionment.

The fact is, most men value their relationships. Unless there is no other way,

They want to keep their own world with their girlfriends. They find a mistress to have an affair with, and flirting is sometimes purely for the thrill of it.

Psychology doesn't involve right and wrong in the moral sense, and people's moral needs vary.

We don't know.

If your boyfriend's infidelity triggers your anger, you must consider the nature of this anger.

What anger is helpful to you? What anger is destructive to you? On the surface, it may seem that the man belongs to you.

This man will always belong only to himself. You think you have everything you need in a man.

This is just a fantasy or wishful thinking on your part. Thinking this way will ease your pain a little.

I don't know how you first met. Tell me about your character traits and communication styles.

It is crucial to determine if both parties bear responsibility for the situation.

The boyfriend is a scumbag, so you should ask yourself:

You need to ask yourself: How much is your own fault?

I'm sure you've considered this at some point.

A man taking his girlfriend of four years to a blind date shows there are several possibilities for men.

First, he fell in love to satisfy a physical or emotional need.

Second, he realized she wasn't right for marriage, but he was too afraid to reject her outright.

He can only do immoral things with his back turned to his girlfriend.

Third, the boyfriend's indecisiveness and procrastination have created this situation.

If you want to get out of the shadow, you need to know how big the wound is now.

I want to know how deeply it has affected you.

You need to think about what you really want, especially now that you're in the midst of your wandering in the shadows.

You need to decide whether you want to continue this relationship or move on.

You also need to reflect and realize more.

What kind of resistance? You didn't confess to your boyfriend, so he took the initiative to propose to you?

Tell me, what things did you do that hurt the relationship?

What hurts relationships and feelings?

I'd like to give you a reminder:

You will have to endure the pain for a while. Don't look for excuses to avoid it.

Don't deny all men and give up on true love.

Personality analysis psychology is clear: the shadow has the power to transform personality.

You can find your true self in the shadows and live courageously, facing life.

You need to face this issue head-on.

You've got this. I'm your counselor, Mr. Yao, and I'm here to support you every step of the way.

Good morning,

Dear Host, Thank you for your post. I can appreciate the complex feelings of heartache and betrayal that you experienced after discovering your partner's infidelity. It's natural to feel this way. I'm

My name is Zeng Chen, and I am a heart exploration coach. I have carefully read the post and can empathize with the complex feelings of heartache and betrayal that the poster suddenly felt after discovering that their partner had cheated.

Furthermore, I would like to acknowledge your courage in confronting these challenges head-on and seeking assistance on this platform, which will undoubtedly facilitate your own recovery.

I will now proceed to share my observations and thoughts on the matter, which I hope will provide you with a more diverse perspective.

1. Accept that you are experiencing pain.

As observed in the original post, the poster and her boyfriend have been in a relationship for four years. This indicates that she values her boyfriend as a significant figure in her life. The sudden discovery of his infidelity is likely to evoke a strong emotional response.

I empathize with your situation and recognize that these circumstances would elicit a similar emotional response in anyone.

If you are experiencing such distress, what steps can you take to improve your situation?

What methods did the original poster previously employ to alleviate feelings of sadness? These methods can be utilized again to achieve the same result.

He expressed his pain by writing about it. The act of writing allows us to listen to our emotions and then express them.

It is often the case that emotions can be relieved once they have been expressed and listened to. Furthermore, the process of writing can also facilitate the expression of sad emotions.

It is important to understand that allowing oneself to experience emotions and pain is a natural and necessary part of the grieving process. The term "grief process," as used in psychology, refers to the fact that any loss will initially result in feelings of sadness. If we allow ourselves to fully experience these emotions, we will eventually reach a point of emotional resolution. This process can take time, but it is essential to acknowledge and embrace the grief emotions that arise in order to complete the grieving process.

This process will help you to move on from your sadness. If you feel unable to cope, you can take a temporary break from your situation by going for a walk.

Ultimately, the key consideration is which option will be most beneficial to you.

2. While there may be truth in the assertion that love is a factor in marriage, it is not the sole determining factor.

The original poster indicated that she was distressed and inquired as to whether the love she had experienced over the past four years was a fabrication. He asserted that the instances of his affection for her were genuine.

One might reasonably inquire as to why someone who loves themselves would betray themselves. It is evident that there is a distinction between love and marriage.

As noted in the original post, he attended a secret blind date.

The emotional intensity of love is often contrasted with the more deliberative process of marriage. For many individuals, the suitability of a partner is a crucial consideration in this decision. While love may be a genuine and powerful force, it may not be the sole determining factor in the institution of marriage.

The betrayal by your boyfriend may be largely due to the fact that some of his needs in the relationship were not met, and he sought to satisfy them with the person he met.

3. It is recommended that you attempt to locate sources of support and affection.

After reading the original poster's story, I was reminded of another case study. In this instance, the woman's husband was unfaithful and held her responsible for the situation, stating that she lacked self-awareness and was overly focused on the children. He even took the family fortune with him.

Those were the most challenging days of her life. She was facing a betrayal, had to assume responsibility for the children, and had to navigate interactions with debt collectors. It was a highly stressful period.

Fortunately, she had a strong support system in place, including friends and a counselor. Ultimately, she relocated to her hometown to regroup. Her parents provided unwavering support and understanding, which enabled her to process her challenges, gain self-awareness, and develop a sense of self-worth.

She has accepted her current situation, is not in a hurry to change, and does not feel the need to prove herself to others. Instead, she has started to believe that she deserves a better life.

The original poster may also wish to consider seeking support and love.

It would be beneficial to identify the resources that are available to assist you.

I hope these resources will prove helpful and inspiring. If you have any questions, please click on "Find a Coach" to communicate and exchange ideas one-on-one.

Take care of yourself, both physically and mentally.

First, there's something you might want to clarify in your statement. He's been cheating on you with someone else for a year and a half, or he's just been going on blind dates or flirting, as you say. I personally think these are two different things.

After all, you're not married yet, and he may have been forced to go on a blind date by his parents or for other reasons. But if he's going to cheat on you for a year and a half while you're still in love, that's a different story.

Second, just because a man spends time and money on you doesn't necessarily mean he's fully committed to you. You've been together for four years, so how would you rate the quality of your relationship? You haven't mentioned it, but what about him?

How does he feel about it all? You can discuss it further if you like.

What are your plans for the future?

Third, you said you want to move on. If you want to break up and start a new chapter, that's one thing. If you want to forgive him for going on a blind date and continue to congratulate him on being together, that's another.

You need to think this through carefully. It seems like you're hesitant to move on, especially after such a long time.

Right now, you need to think about all the factors and then make a decision. Once you've made it, stick with it.

Finally, there are lots of ways to move on from this, such as talking to a close friend, exercising or shopping. The key is for you to think clearly and communicate well with your partner. Best of luck.