How to plan each day with a seemingly stable job that is always feared to be replaced?

Hello, I am Coach Xinfan Fei You, and I sense that you have a lot of knowledge and insight, and that you're interested in making some changes, but you've been putting off taking action.

Could I perhaps inquire as to whether you have considered the possibility that your current situation may be the result of internal conflict?

I believe this may be a kind of internal depletion.

I believe this could be a kind of internal depletion.

Internal conflict can be defined as a state of discord between two opposing forces within an individual, or when there is a discrepancy between one's perceived self and their actual reality. It is a phenomenon that can arise when there is a clash between one's ideal self and the reality of their circumstances.

It can feel as though there are two sides of you constantly at odds with one another, with no respite from the internal conflict, even in your dreams. When you are internally conflicted, it's natural to feel mentally and physically exhausted.

Could this be related to learning and work?

Internal conflict can be compared to a faucet in your home that is not properly tightened. It will drip endlessly, constantly draining your energy. Given that human energy is limited, it is understandable that there may be less energy available for other important tasks.

In life, why do some people approach their studies and work with such enthusiasm, while others seem to lack the same level of motivation?

Could I respectfully propose that we consider why some people experience internal conflicts while others do not? I wonder if we might also reflect on what it is about a person that causes internal conflicts.

Perhaps an example would be helpful here.

Perhaps an example would be helpful here to illustrate the point.

For instance, if you purchase a mobile phone priced at 6,000 yuan from the official website, you are unlikely to be influenced by external opinions, such as "it's not worth that much," because you are confident in the value of the phone.

Similarly, if you are unsure of your own value, you may inadvertently damage it or place a great deal of importance on the opinions of others.

Your value does not depend on the evaluation of others. You know your own value very well, or who you are. Could I ask you whether you still care about what others think of you?

Your value does not depend on the evaluation of others. You are aware of your own value, or you have a sense of what kind of person you are. Do you still care about what others think of you?

Even if some people offer criticism or accusations, you can choose to accept the parts that are valuable to you and respond to the rest with kindness and understanding.

Given that your value does not depend on the evaluation of others, it could be said that self-worth is your subjective evaluation of yourself.

When you have confidence in your own evaluation of yourself, you may find that you don't need to cover up insignificant flaws. It's possible that covering up is a sign that you're uncertain about your own value.

It might be helpful to consider that behaviors such as covering up, pretending, or putting on a show could be indications of internal conflict.

It may be helpful to consider that behaviors such as covering up, pretending, and putting on a show may indicate internal conflict.

A person has nothing to show off. It is perhaps not necessary for the richest person in the world to show off his wealth.

Perhaps it would be beneficial to consider whether Lin Chi-ling needs to show off her beauty.

One possible way to stop internal depletion might be to cultivate oneself. It could be helpful to shift your focus from the outside to the inside.

It would be beneficial to become aware of your own patterns. Having this awareness allows you the opportunity to choose and to change.

It is important to note that admitting one's shortcomings does not necessarily imply resignation to the status quo.

If you are interested in learning how to live a happier life, you might consider trying the following exercises:

If you are interested in learning how to start living happily from now on, you might consider trying the following exercises:

1. Perhaps it would be helpful to consider what you are trying to hide at this stage, and to choose something that is relatively easy to see. It might also be beneficial to admit your own shortcomings and to actively expose the lies that drain your energy.

1. Perhaps it would be helpful to consider what you are trying to hide at this stage. You might like to choose something that is relatively easy to see, admit your own shortcomings, and actively expose the lies that drain your energy.

2. Perhaps it would be helpful to take a moment to reflect on what you are proving, and to bravely admit that what you are proving is actually what you lack.

I hope the above is helpful to you, and I wish you well. ?

I hope the above is helpful to you. I wish you all the best, and I love you.

If you would like to continue the conversation, you are welcome to click "Find a coach" in the upper right corner or at the bottom. I would be delighted to communicate and grow with you one-on-one.

If you would like to continue the conversation, you are welcome to click "Find a coach" in the upper right corner or at the bottom. I would be delighted to communicate and grow with you one-on-one.

Hello, host. I think a lot of people are feeling the same way you are, including me.

The pace of change in society is accelerating, and the same is true of the pace of updates and iterations. One day they may be big Internet celebrities and anchors, but overnight they may disappear without a trace.

In today's fast-paced social environment, patience seems to be in short supply. It's becoming increasingly rare to watch a movie from beginning to end, and short videos are often finished after a brief look.

When you lose patience, you'll feel anxious about unfinished work and about not making progress. This kind of anxious mood affects the whole environment, and it's contagious.

There's a phenomenon that's becoming more common in gyms nowadays. People pay for a one-year membership but rarely go. It's starting to appear in other places, too. For example, let's say you join a book club to enrich your mind. You don't even listen to a few books in a year. Or you sign up for an online course to learn a skill. You feel it's too difficult to watch the big guy show off all kinds of skills, so you just put it aside and listen to a few random classes.

I think these situations happen because of anxiety, which makes it hard to focus on one thing. Anxiety also makes us procrastinate, and the more we want to do something, the more we delay.

On the other hand, we could stand to be a bit stronger internally, which in turn creates internal self-contradiction. This conflict of contradiction has led to a lot of "mental internal friction," which has formed a vicious cycle. You want to do something, but a voice in your head says don't do it, and use up the little strength you have on mental internal friction.

Over the past few months, I've been working on getting rid of procrastination and reducing mental depletion. I'd like to share two small methods I've found helpful, in the hope that they'll be useful to you too.

I'd like to suggest playing the game "Think and Do."

1. Set a game rule with your own brain, called "Do it when you think of it." The rule is simple: do whatever your brain thinks of right away. If your brain thinks of drinking a sip of water right now, get up and drink some water right away.

Another example is if your mind wanders to the dishes that haven't been washed yet, then go wash them right away.

2. Don't assume this rule is simple and therefore easy or ineffective.

3. The idea behind this game is instant gratification, which immediately satisfies the brain and makes it feel like it's accomplished something. This then gives the brain a boost of confidence, which creates a positive cycle.

4. One benefit of this approach is that when we do a lot of things as soon as they come to mind during the day or at a certain time, the sense of achievement and fulfillment we feel is like a 100% charge. At this time, if we lie down and check our phone, we will feel that we are treating ourselves or rewarding ourselves, and we won't blame ourselves for doing so.

5. Why set rules for the game with your brain? Because we usually want to do this too, but we just can't. So we send a signal to our brain that we want to play the game and we should respect the rules of the game.

[Set goals for your plan]

1. A plan is a series of steps we set out to achieve a specific result. A goal is a result we aim to achieve within a defined period.

For instance, if your goal is to pass the certification exam, you might want to plan to take an online class each week and complete an assignment.

Plan 1 is to attend class. The goal is to complete it by Friday. The method is to just get it done as soon as you think of it.

Plan 2 is to write the assignment. The goal is to get it done before the next class. The method is still "do it as soon as you think of it."

The maximum time for completing each plan is seven days. If it takes too long, it can create internal conflict.

The idea is to break down big goals into smaller, more manageable steps and to focus on the next seven days. When we're more focused, we're more productive and can handle things more effectively.

When we let go of anxiety, we can also play more happily and openly, and then the anticipation of a date with my husband will be sweet and sweet.

This is what I've been trying to do recently, and it's had a certain effect on me. I hope it can help you too. The world and I love you.

Hello, I'm Lin Yile. I can relate to the feeling of wanting to improve oneself while facing the challenge of adapting one's lifestyle.

It's important to remember that it's not your fault. It can be really comfortable to lie down and watch TikTok. Studying requires willpower. If everyone could do it, everyone would be a genius. However, not everyone can realize that this state is not what they want. For example, you are in this state right now. Let's analyze it together. I hope it will be helpful to you.

You got married in 1986 and are hoping to conceive a baby this year. You say you have a seemingly stable job, but you are always worried about being replaced. So you hope to constantly improve yourself. You didn't say specifically what kind of job you have, but you hope to have a stable job and you are worried about your job. I'm not sure if I've understood correctly.

I'm currently facing a few challenges. I signed up for a test, but I didn't pass it the last time. I haven't even looked at my books after finishing the course. I find myself spending a lot of time on my phone, and when I see other people, I tend to ask them a lot of questions about the teacher's difficult questions. You mentioned that you ignore yourself, but you also feel anxious. It's as if there's some kind of resistance, which I'm curious to understand better. What might be the reason for this?

On weekends, it can be helpful to have your husband's company, to have a meal together, to have fun for a day, to escape from your worries, and to choose temporary happiness. After having fun for a day, you may still feel empty inside. This is not what you want deep down. You may want to be the person you were when you were studying, someone who never failed a subject and never wasted time. Is that what you want? But because you failed once, and because you have no motivation now, you still want to improve. When you went to class once a week, you were tired, but you seemed very satisfied.

One challenge I've been facing is that I still don't feel a strong inclination to read. I believe the first step is to accept yourself, as I mentioned in the second paragraph, and recognize that there's nothing inherently wrong with the way you think.

If someone truly wants to change, they will do so. It is then up to us to decide who is in charge of our thoughts.

You might consider trying to set a study plan for yourself.

It might be beneficial to exercise three times a week with your husband. You could monitor and encourage each other, as they say, "health is wealth."

It might be helpful to try reading for 30 minutes every day for six days. On Sunday, you could reward yourself with a big meal (you can decide on your own what the reward is, whether it be clothes, accessories, or a fun activity).

If I may suggest, it would be beneficial to brush up for the exam. For instance, you could set aside an hour or half an hour to study and then reward yourself with some leisure time on Douyin for half an hour (you can set your own time, and your phone will remind you when it's time to take a break).

At the beginning of the day, it might be helpful to set realistic expectations. Even reading for 10 minutes a day for the first week could be a good start. If you get interrupted, you can simply pick up where you left off. It's important to stay positive and remember that every day is a new beginning. I hope my answer will be of some help to you. Best of luck!