I can't bear to eat, but my mother-in-law ate it. I don't know how to deal with it temporarily.

Dear Sir/Madam, I hope this message finds you well. I am writing to inquire about a matter that has come to my attention. Best regards, [Your name]

I have carefully reviewed your description and the responses of the other respondents and have a slightly different opinion on this matter.

I am curious to know how you typically communicate with your mother-in-law. Do you have a close relationship, akin to that of a mother and daughter, or do you find yourself in a somewhat distant relationship with her? Do you find yourself comparing her to your own mother whenever you interact with her?

From your description, I can ascertain that your mother-in-law is very thrifty and hardworking, and she cares deeply for her family. She always allows you to consume the more desirable items first, and then she eats what's left.

It can be reasonably assumed that if the item in question is something you like, she would allow you to eat it first and would never consume it in secret.

It is possible that she believes you do not like items that have been stored for an extended period. Due to her concern about wasting food, she may be reluctant to consume them.

It is important to note that individual perceptions of taste may vary significantly. For instance, the chocolate snack you mentioned may be perceived as delicious by you, but it may be unappealing to your mother-in-law. This could potentially contribute to your daughter-in-law's reluctance to consume it after it had been left out for an extended period.

As an example, I must state that I am not partial to sweet, glutinous corn. It is likely that the elderly have seen and eaten a great deal of it, and that it may have been stored for too long, which would explain her reluctance to consume it.

It is essential to communicate with sincerity and to understand the other person's perspective.

It is likely that the questioner will experience difficulties in her relationship with her mother-in-law, given her feelings of discomfort and the perception that her mother-in-law will steal food.

I recommend that the questioner and the mother-in-law communicate effectively. It would be beneficial to inform the mother-in-law directly that I enjoy chocolate and sweet corn. This approach may yield a more favorable outcome and attitude.

I hope this information is useful to the questioner.

Thank you for your time. My name is Jiusi and I am a representative of Yixinli, World and I Love You.

Hello, my name is Xiang Er.

I can especially understand how you feel. It can be upsetting when something you have been reluctant to eat and have always treasured is eaten by someone else without asking. The sudden loss and feeling of not being respected and offended can really make people feel aggrieved and lost.

From what you mentioned at the beginning about your mother-in-law's habits, it seems like she is a senior who loves you very much and is very thrifty. You also seem to have a positive view of her behavior. This sudden difference must have been a bit puzzling for you.

You also mentioned that the food had been sitting there for years. Given your mother-in-law's frugal nature, it's possible that she ate it because she didn't want to waste it. It's also possible that the elderly person didn't really like the food, but just felt that the younger generation wouldn't like it, so she ate or used it up to avoid wasting it. This kind of thing happens in ordinary families all the time, and even many biological mothers will behave in this way.

Perhaps you have formed an image of her in your mind, which may have led you to perceive her behavior as "greedy" and your lack of first asking as "disrespectful." This perception might be the root of your discomfort.

Given that you live with your mother-in-law, it's understandable that there might be some overlap in your living spaces. When items are placed in a shared area, it's natural for them to be perceived as belonging to the whole family. This could potentially lead to a misunderstanding where your mother-in-law assumes that you're eating for everyone. She might only see that you don't eat much, but she might not be aware of the underlying reasons why you don't eat as much as she would like.

Perhaps there is room for improvement in the way you communicate.

It is not uncommon for a daughter-in-law to have a challenging relationship with her mother-in-law. This is often because she compares her mother-in-law with her own mother, which is a natural tendency. However, it is important to recognize that a daughter-in-law is a "stranger" who has entered the family according to the law. This "stranger" is expected to treat her in-laws as family from the moment she arrives. It can be challenging to compare a mother-in-law to a biological mother after just a few years or a decade of living together.

Your biological mother spent decades with you, and it was a valuable experience. Additionally, if you feel that your mother-in-law may not be comparable to your biological mother, have you made an effort to treat her as you would your own mother?

If I might offer my humble opinion:

1️⃣It might be helpful to consider that you can always buy more food if you eat it. However, if you let a problem fester, it could potentially lead to a worsening of your relationship. You could try saying something like this to your mother-in-law: "Mom, do you really like eating XXX? Perhaps next time I'll let my friends see it and buy it for you." It might be beneficial to observe how your mother-in-law responds, as it could potentially help you resolve the problem.

2️⃣ If you're truly unable to eat it and wish to avoid a similar situation in the future, you might consider storing it in your own room.

3️⃣I can relate to your desire to prolong the enjoyment of something, but it's worth noting that all food has an optimal period of consumption (I'm not referring to an expiration date). Sometimes, keeping it doesn't fully capture its maximum value.

It is important to remember that marriage is a joint venture, and the same can be said for the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. I hope that you are able to maintain a harmonious and happy home.

Hello.

It is essential to understand the feelings of the questioner.

"Rare things are precious." Of course, good things should be shared. This is the true manifestation of a person's sincerity and generosity. Why do things feel like they are being "taken over by the enemy"? This is more a problem of poor boundary management.

I want to understand it.

Girls are more delicate in their thinking and care more about ownership of things. Even if the relationship is very good, you must distinguish between what is important and what is not. This is especially true when the mother-in-law is not someone you can treat casually and is as close as a best friend. You must be clear about your boundaries and state your requirements in advance. Cooperate as much as possible.

My friend's mother-in-law was coming to visit, so my friend spent the whole day tidying up the house. There was obviously nothing wrong, but my friend looked very nervous and worried. It turned out that when my friend was at work or not at home, her mother-in-law would often touch her things without saying a word, sometimes using some cosmetics, sometimes looking at the things she was wearing. It was a really helpless and embarrassing scene. She spent the whole day tidying up the important things in advance so as not to show off and avoid unnecessary conflicts.

The "chocolate?" incident here is a clear reflection of the true, underlying nature of the mother-in-law. It's likely that as a child, she had an insatiable desire for chocolate due to a lack of material goods. Alternatively, it's possible that the mother-in-law simply doesn't know how to handle issues with a sense of boundaries, which resulted in a joke.

Your emotional intelligence is reflected in how you view conflicts like these.

[See the essence of the problem and digest unnecessary negative emotions]

As previously stated, the hostess's character and habits are likely apparent to the host or son who has interacted with her. If her character is not the issue, then conflicts over habits can be resolved as early and amicably as possible.

[Release your true feelings and accept your emotions]

In life, you can plan as much as you want, but there will always be things you can't anticipate. You have to learn to relax, be tolerant of yourself, and release your stress and feelings. Your mother-in-law has done wrong, but it's hard to change someone's mindset when they're older. Be tolerant and let yourself feel a little more relaxed.

[Communicate more and care for each other in daily life]

In daily life, it is simple to greet someone with a smile when there are no conflicts. However, it is much more difficult to ask for help or communicate when there are problems. Therefore, you should know how to show concern for others first, and then communicate when problems arise. Things can often be resolved smoothly.

Take your time.

Best wishes!

Hello, You say you want to hold onto your happiness a little longer, and I admire your ability to cherish the things you value. I believe many of us have similar experiences, whether it's meaningful objects from childhood, gifts from friends, or photos from important anniversaries. These things, no matter how long they've been in our lives, can be treasured just as much as if they were brand new.

1. Why is it that losing your favorite food is worse than losing cash?

When the chocolate snacks and sweet glutinous corn disappeared without a trace, you undoubtedly felt a twinge of hurt. If you were to convert the price of the chocolate snacks and sweet glutinous rice into cash, you would realize that the pain of losing the cash is nothing compared to the depression caused by your mother-in-law eating the food you were reluctant to eat. You have invested your own emotions, and you want to enjoy it slowly and relish the feeling of tasting that wonderful, happy, and delicious food.

However, as you noticed the amount getting smaller day by day, you gave up a little happiness every day, without being able to say anything about it. This gradually built up and made you feel depressed. Although it was a minor matter, you felt especially sad. And you were right to feel this way. You might have thought that your mother-in-law would do the same thing in the future, feeling a mixture of helplessness and anger.

2. There is a clear conflict between your mother-in-law's lifestyle and your own.

2. There will undoubtedly be conflicts between your mother-in-law's lifestyle and your lifestyle.

The mother-in-law may have been eating separately for years and may be used to taking big bites and eating the whole thing to taste the flavor. She didn't eat the whole thing in front of you, and she also had reservations.

Your mother-in-law often saves the fish and shrimp for you to eat. This habit of choosing to eat last exists in many families. But why is it uncomfortable? Because you didn't ask her to do this, and you secretly hope that she will share with everyone. Or perhaps fish and shrimp were a common dish in your original family or in your small family when the mother-in-law did not live with you. But after the mother-in-law started cooking at home, the fish and shrimp in this common dish have become rare. And the mother-in-law is very thrifty with herself, and she doesn't lift her chopsticks to the fish and shrimp.

In the short term, it's beneficial, but in the long term, this habit of eating vegetables will put pressure on the person eating them.

If your mother-in-law does this, it seems like she is sacrificing herself. She knows you think she has stolen food, so she may think she usually gives a lot and is saving the good things for you. She may even feel scolded by her daughter-in-law for eating a few corn chocolates. Instead, she feels aggrieved, and you are even more unable to argue.

Furthermore, your mother-in-law is an elder, and she can always buy more food if she runs out. Ultimately, everyone is unhappy, and your mother-in-law seems even more reasonable and pitiful.

Your mother-in-law has the advantage. She doesn't show a particularly strong attitude. If your mother-in-law is very strong, she would not have eaten it little by little like this. She would have probably eaten it in front of you.

?

You're not being stingy. You're sad, and no one understands that. If your mother-in-law had just told you that this was delicious, you would have given her half the chocolate and five corncakes to eat.

You're not being stingy. You're sad, and no one understands. If your mother-in-law had just told you that this was delicious, you would have given her half the chocolate and five corncobs to eat.

The mother-in-law's unspoken approach has not informed or asked you if you want to eat it. When it is almost gone, she has no intention of saving it. This will make you feel angry and depressed. The mother-in-law may also be innocent. Her original intention may be like what the other poster said: that she felt that it had been sitting around for a while and she wanted to eat it quickly. There is a kind side to the mother-in-law's actions, but it is difficult to truly face it.

I've been in a similar situation before. I made a delicious meal, but I was actually quite hungry that day. I let my husband eat first, but he kept picking at his food while looking at his phone and almost finished it all by himself. When I made the same dish again, I doubled the portion, but he again almost finished it all. I realized that the person who finished all the food was being selfish and didn't care if the other person was full.

After the final communication, he stated that he felt that leaving too much food would put too much pressure on the person eating it, and that he didn't like that dish himself. He ate so much because he wanted to finish everything on his plate, and then left a little for me, thinking that my appetite would be enough. After spending so many years together, I learned this for the first time.

Some truths are so ridiculous that it's clear why someone didn't get to eat their favorite food: they didn't eat enough. And that person ended up eating all the food they didn't like.

3. I want to know how I can get back the sense of loss from the missing chocolate and sweet glutinous corn.

Take control and find the satisfaction of eating what you want. It's now easier than ever to search for product brands and trademarks to buy the same online.

Buy yourself a few more boxes of chocolate snacks in different flavors and a case of 24 sweet, glutinous corn on the cob. Eat as much as you want, and let your mother-in-law eat as much as she wants too.

For example, you can buy a box and give it to your mother-in-law as soon as you get home. Tell her the chocolate melts easily in the heat and that it's a good thing she ate it in time. You can also tell her you were used to eating corn on the cob at your parents' house when you were a child. If she doesn't feel full, ask her to eat one whole cob each time. If she likes it, you can buy her another box regularly in the future. As for the sweet corn, you can also tell her you were used to cutting it up and eating it slowly when you were a child at your parents' house. If she doesn't feel full, ask her to eat one whole cob each time. If she likes it, you can buy her another box regularly in the future.

She'll probably think this daughter-in-law is very generous.

Your mother-in-law is undoubtedly anxious about the chocolate and sweet corn. It will undoubtedly be discovered, but no one seems to be saying anything to her. It's time to let go and enjoy a meal together as a family. This will undoubtedly improve everyone's mood.

If you want to keep something, you can buy it. But if you're sad because things you don't want to eat have disappeared, it will damage the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.

If your mother-in-law doesn't realize this is inappropriate, communicate in another way to let her know you are considerate and have her back. If you live with your mother-in-law and encounter upsetting things, give her another chance. Things might not be as bad as you think. Gradually let your mother-in-law get used to the boundaries you have set.

When the mother-in-law is very different from your mother, don't expect too much from her. Don't even think about comparing her to your own mother. Mothers favor their children, and mothers-in-law do the same. The mother-in-law may not be highly educated, and her way of doing things may sometimes be inappropriate.

When the expectations of the mother-in-law are very different from those of the mother, do not expect too much from her, especially not to compare her to your own mother. Mothers favor their children, and so will the mother-in-law. The mother-in-law may not have a high level of education, and her way of doing things may sometimes be inappropriate, which makes it difficult for you to accept. Tell your husband your needs and let him, as a third party, deal with it wisely to avoid future conflicts between the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.

Greetings, host.

It is a source of minor discomfort to observe the consumption of a food item that one particularly enjoys by another individual.

The individual consuming the food is the mother-in-law, which also presents a challenge to comprehension.

[Changes in the mother-in-law]

In the past, if a food item was deemed palatable, it was customary for parents to first allow their offspring to consume it, and then to partake themselves.

Parents who were raised in an era of relative material scarcity tend to prioritize the provision of resources to those they consider to be of greater importance within the family.

It is also important to note that as parents age, they may exhibit behaviors similar to those of children, including a willingness to try new foods.

A comparison between the mother-in-law and the mother is presented herewith.

The grandmother consumed the snacks without greeting the child. Had it been the mother, it is unlikely that she would have done so. It is probable that the mother would have declined the snack or would have informed her daughter that she had consumed it.

It is unclear whether the mother-in-law is simply reserved and did not perceive the snacks as deserving of her attention, or if she believed that her daughter-in-law had already indicated that she could consume them and that they were intended for the entire family to share.

In most families, the food on the coffee table is not so clearly delineated as to who may consume it.

It is important to be aware of one's own perceptions, as they influence one's emotional state.

My mother-in-law has initiated an exploration of novel ingredients and refined cuisine, transcending the role of a mere family contributor. This shift in behavior may be perceived as either beneficial or detrimental.

If one perceives the situation as positive, one might reason that although the mother-in-law consumed the food without expressing gratitude, she has begun to prioritize her own needs and is no longer constantly giving to others. Despite initial reluctance, there is a sense of relief in knowing her preferences and being able to provide her with more of her preferred food in the future.

If one considers this a negative development, one might perceive a shift in behavior, whereby the individual in question is now reluctant to allow others to eat first, and may even be seen as secretly attempting to consume the more desirable food items. Such a change in behavior might evoke feelings of distress and resentment.

It is to be expected that emotions will be experienced.

It is to be expected that emotions will be experienced when something that is liked and cherished suddenly disappears. Human beings are instinctively driven to satisfy their own needs first and foremost.

However, individuals do not exist in isolation; they possess a broad range of judgment and perception, which can serve as resources for regulating emotional states.

What is to be done next? It would be prudent to adopt a less judgmental stance and instead observe each other's needs more closely.

You inquired as to whether your sentiment could be perceived as petty. It is understandable that you experience a degree of discomfort when positive experiences are associated with the consumption of food. This sentiment is not indicative of pettiness, but rather a reflection of your generosity towards your mother-in-law's family.

My mother-in-law was previously characterized by a high level of devotion, but she has recently exhibited a sudden change in behavior. Is this change indicative of selfishness? It would be inappropriate to make such a judgment.

It is evident that there has been a shift in her priorities. Previously, she was always the primary caretaker, but recently, she has begun to prioritize her own needs. This indicates a need for self-care and a recognition of her own worth. Furthermore, her newfound focus on self-care manifests in her desire for delicious food. This suggests a growing awareness of her physical and emotional needs, which are now being prioritized alongside her responsibilities to others.

It is observed that despite the lack of confiscation of personal belongings, feelings of sadness and annoyance are experienced when these items are consumed. The underlying motivation for this behavior is the desire to prioritize self-care and self-love, which manifests in the form of saving delicious food items for oneself to consume at a slower pace.

The subsequent step is to determine how to achieve a balance between each party's feelings and needs.

My name is Amy, and I hope this information is useful to you.

Hello. I can see your confusion, and I can help.

It's infuriating when your emotions-to-me-i-dont-know-how-to-handle-it-6472.html" target="_blank">mother-in-law eats something you don't want to eat without asking. I'd be unhappy too. We can adjust our mood by:

First, allow yourself to have emotions. It is normal to have emotions on this issue. A mother-in-law is a mother-in-law, and a biological mother is a biological mother. Don't question yourself because you feel differently emotionally, as this will cause unnecessary stress.

Second, maintain boundaries. In the public part of the home, the mother-in-law will generally assume that it is a shared part. It is important to realize that there are many parts that you don't want to share with her. You must consciously maintain boundaries. Keep things that you don't want to share with the other person in your own private space. Don't say anything you don't want the other person to know. Maintaining boundaries with mutual reservations and politeness is a respect for each other and for yourself.

Third, mutual understanding. Living together inevitably leads to many differences in living habits. It is essential to understand the difficulties of the elderly, appreciate the hardships of the other party, promptly discover and highlight the elderly's strengths, and play deaf and dumb to their shortcomings appropriately. This is the only way to ensure long-term peaceful coexistence.

It's just like being with your own mother: there will be troubles, and you need to be understanding and respectful, as well as wise and methodical.

I wish you a rewarding day.

Every person has a selfish side, and at the same time, they also develop good habits of being thrifty and frugal due to their family education. Therefore, we always want to treasure those good or very beautiful things more—and why not?

It's that amazing feeling of saving the best for last, so you can truly enjoy it to the fullest! You'll also get a glimpse of your usual character, and see if you're one of those people who just can't get enough of good items, food, or services.

♠You simply can't bear the thought that your mother-in-law is eating the food you don't want to eat!

♠I don't know how to get over it. Whenever there's something good, I just can't let it go!

♠You always want to hold onto happiness a little longer!

You just can't bear to part with it!

It's challenging, but it's also exciting!

If we have been brought up with habits of thrift and frugality, we tend to reject people who lead a different lifestyle. Perhaps you feel uncomfortable with your mother-in-law's current self-centered behavior, don't you?

☪️☪️☪️☪️The thrilling sensation of letting go of something you've held onto for too long and embracing the exciting new things that come your way!

?️?️?️?️We love our territory and possessions!

?️?️?️?️I'm excited to hear what position your mother-in-law holds in your heart!

We usually say what we want to say to people. If you value someone very much, you'll be happy for them to use some of your precious things. At the same time, you can also see that your mother-in-law is actually very selfless and dedicated.

For example, if you cook something delicious, you'll let your family eat it first! You'll save the rare dishes like fish and shrimp for when they're not eating. This is a very rare kind of selfless behavior, which everyone sees and remembers in their hearts. In fact, there's no need for both sides to behave like this!

Wouldn't it be so much happier to share the good things with everyone? You also didn't want to eat the Japanese chocolate snacks, and you always ate the ten packets of sweet corn separately every time you cut them open.

But these good things can't be kept forever, otherwise they will go bad. Let's talk about it and share it with each other! That's enough. There's no need to think about it too much. Do you feel very uncomfortable because she says one thing in front of you and another behind your back?

Or did your mother-in-law use these things without telling you first and without sharing? You can definitely talk to her about it! You can express your feelings and see what she can do to make you happy. At the same time, we should not easily compare the people around us. Everyone is different. I suggest that you talk to a heart coach about your hopes. Come on!

ZQ?

Hello, I'm Xin Tan, and I'm Fei Yun's coach! I'm here to support you with warmth and listen to your story with sincerity.

From your words, I can feel the incredible love your mother-in-law has for you! The older generation of parents are used to being thrifty and can't bear to spend money on food and clothing. They always think about their children, which is so admirable!

A mother's love for her child is deep and unwavering! As the saying goes, "You don't know what your parents have done for you until you have children of your own." It's only when we have experienced it ourselves that we truly feel the love of our parents!

In the course of your relationship, you have both become accustomed to your respective patterns and modes of interaction, which is great!

What's really got you on your toes is that your mother-in-law has been acting differently for the past two months. She's been eating things you don't want her to!

Give yourself a warm hug, take a deep breath, and calm down! When we're calm, our wisdom can really shine. Let's take a look at what's troubling you.

?1. The amazing inherent patterns of each individual:

1. The incredible, inherent patterns of each individual:

As you said, whenever there is something good, you won't want to use it or eat it; and there is also the habit of the mother-in-law. These are actually inherent patterns in each of us: behavior patterns, emotional patterns, and thinking patterns. Isn't it fascinating how our minds work?

And these patterns will be brought into our various relationships, which is really exciting!

First, we get to see and learn from our family of origin and our parents! You can reflect on the behaviors of your own parents and find some answers.

Diligence and thrift are great qualities of the Chinese people! However, if you are too diligent and thrifty, it's important to consider what emotions and needs are being met behind this behavior.

Diligence and frugality are two excellent qualities of the Chinese people. However, if you are too diligent and frugal, it's a great idea to consider what emotions and needs are being met behind this behavior.

In the parents' generation, there was a lack of material goods, and it was inevitable that there was a lack of good food and clothes. But in today's society, there is an abundance of material goods! It is like Chinese New Year every day, with a complete range of food and clothing to satisfy every desire.

If you continue to scrimp and save, in addition to being a habit, it's also a great idea to consider whether you have sufficient "sense of security."

Safety is a wonderful thing! It's our psychological need for stability and security. It refers to the feeling of confidence and security, freedom from fear and anxiety.

Safety is a wonderful feeling of foreboding about possible physical and psychological dangers, as well as a feeling of power or powerlessness in dealing with them.

This feeling is often expressed as a sense of certainty and control.

And now for something really exciting! Context: Security can be enhanced both externally and internally.

The great news is that you can enhance your sense of security in two different ways: externally and internally.

External: Think of a sound social security system, wealth, or power. As you describe it, if you don't want to spend money on food and clothing and save all the things you consider to be good, you can feel safe (in control)!

Inner: People with a high sense of self-worth are confident in the future and believe in themselves. This is the best kind of confidence—confidence in oneself as a person!

A person with a high sense of self-worth can absolutely live a carefree and stylish life even without social welfare security!

The good news is that an insufficient sense of security can be healed! There are so many ways to do this, including self-healing (by staying aware, learning, writing, etc.), with the help of a counselor, or professional healing.

Context: 2. Your emotions towards your mother-in-law's behavior:

2. Your emotions towards your mother-in-law's behavior:

Judgment is when a person uses their own values and standards to evaluate a person or thing. Having values means having judgments, and judgments are beliefs. It's a great thing to have values!

Judgment is when a person uses their own values and standards to evaluate a person or thing. And as long as there are values, there will be judgment! Judgment is belief, and it's a great thing!

Within the scope of one's own perception, there will be deviations when judging. But that's okay! Having one's own values means having standards, and having standards means judging.

Within the scope of one's own perception, there will be deviations when judgment is applied. And that's okay! Having one's own values means having standards, and having standards means having judgment.

You're absolutely right! When you encounter this kind of situation, you habitually compare your mother-in-law to your own mother.

Judgment is a great thing! It can give us direction, but it can also solidify our beliefs. Every fixation has a limited belief behind it. Fixation = solidified obsession, caused by limited perception.

Judgment is a great thing! It can give us direction, but it can also solidify our beliefs. Every fixation has a "limited belief." Fixation = solidified obsession, caused by limited perception.

"Fixation" robs life of its fluidity, distorts relationships, and destroys them.

If a person is stuck, it's time to break free! The world remains at the stage of that person's perception, and curiosity is lost. A person who is stuck loses the fluidity of life, and the person becomes rigid. In a relationship, this hinders communication. Once stuck, it is impossible to listen, and labels are given to the other person. To listen, one must let go of the stuck state.

"My mother-in-law is not my mother." This is a label of traditional thinking and perspective, and it's time to move on from it!

"My mother-in-law is not my mother." This is a "label" of traditional thinking and perspective, and it's time to move on from it!

Now for some advice!

Now for some advice!

You can absolutely improve your ability to perceive! You can "see" your emotions and patterns, and you can also perceive what your desired need fulfillment is.

For example, your mother-in-law eats the good things behind your back, which can make you feel insecure. But don't worry! This is just her way of trying to change the "fixation" (judgment) of your mother-in-law.

Expand the dimensions of life (improve the scope of perception) and see more truths (put yourself in other people's shoes, communicate effectively, and sincerely ask your mother-in-law about her views and feelings to avoid misunderstandings). It's a great way to live!

I really hope the above is helpful to you, and to the world! And I love you so much! ??

I really hope the above is helpful to you, and to the world! And I love you! ?

If you want to keep the conversation going, just click "Find a coach" in the top right corner or at the bottom. I'd love to work with you one-on-one and help you grow!

Hello, question asker!

I saw your question on the platform and I get where you're coming from. It's hard to accept that your mother-in-law has eaten the food you normally wouldn't eat, and it's tough to find a way to resolve it.

After reading the thoughtful replies from other respondents, I'd also like to briefly share my views.

1. From what you've said, it seems like you're not the kind of person who is stingy. You just

You want to hold onto happiness for a little longer, perhaps because of the influence of your original family. You are a person who doesn't waste things easily. You don't have many problems with your mother-in-law on a daily basis. She is a frugal old lady herself, and she usually lets us eat the good food first, which shows that she still puts her children first.

2. You're not so mad that your mother-in-law ate the food you didn't want to eat, but that she didn't tell you beforehand. You feel like this is an invasion of your privacy. After all, your mother-in-law is not your mother, and you're not as close as a mother and daughter. You mind that your mother-in-law secretly ate the food you didn't want to eat, but on the surface, she seemed willing to let you eat the other delicious food. You feel like she's two-faced.

3. From her perspective, it's likely that she saw you leave the food uneaten and assumed you didn't like it, so she ate it herself without telling you. She made a mistake by not telling you beforehand, but instead ate little by little all the food you treasured and didn't want to eat.

I can imagine you're pretty angry. Why did your mother-in-law just take the initiative to eat all the good things without asking you? I'm guessing she didn't consider your feelings.

You mind that she didn't say anything to you, and this behavior must make you feel pretty uncomfortable.

5. You can then tell your mother-in-law, "I didn't even want to eat those delicious things myself. I wanted to save them for a while, but now they're all gone. Did my husband eat them all?" You can say this in a relaxed tone, pretending to be angry with your husband, without directly confronting your mother-in-law. Now that the food has been eaten, it's a fact. What you need to learn is to let go of it sooner rather than later. By doing this, you can let your mother-in-law know that next time, she can at least ask you first before deciding whether to eat it or not, so that you won't feel uncomfortable again because of things like this.

6. Communicate well about everything. After all, you are a family. Whether you are as close as mother and daughter or not, she is at least your husband's mother. Try to be tolerant and understanding as much as possible. If you care about everything and argue about everything, you will only get more and more tired. What do you think?

I'm proud of who I am and I love you all!

Good morning.

I understand your words and questions, and I want you to know that I'm here for you. I know why you feel so uncomfortable. It's not because your mother-in-law ate your food, but because she "secretly ate your food without saying hello," and it's also something unusual that you don't have yourself. I can imagine that this situation might be difficult for you.

Allow yourself to have emotions and also allow them to naturally express themselves.

As the saying goes, "Having an old person in the family is like having a treasure." Given that you describe it as probably being your mother-in-law, it seems that the delicious snacks in the house are gradually becoming less available. This made me think of when I was a child, probably four or five years old!

It's similar to the way I've been taking snacks from my family, including my grandmother and her side. I don't say anything, I just take a little bit every day.

I believe I can understand your emotions, Bao. It's just that some things aren't very valuable, so she doesn't say anything and sneaks in every day to take a little bit. If I may ask you, Bao, what if your mother-in-law took the initiative to say that the chocolate was delicious and bought you a box to eat, and she wanted to buy some sweet corn of a certain brand at home to eat?

I wonder if I might ask why you are still so angry?

It's possible that your mother-in-law is feeling embarrassed, or perhaps she's simply fulfilling a wish from her own childhood. When she sees something delicious that she has never seen before and still thinks is delicious, it's understandable that her mind goes back to when she was a child. She may be acting like a child in this situation.

It might be helpful to learn to separate tasks.

Perhaps your mother-in-law is simply fulfilling her own wish to be a child. Since you have seen it, you are still free to choose how you respond.

You have the option of tolerating her and taking the initiative to ask the "little thief" if she likes it, and if she does, to say so. You can eat it with confidence, we can afford it, and there's no need to do it secretly every day.

You might also consider refusing to tolerate this "little friend" and not letting her in. You could even shout it out loud: "There's a rat in the house! The chocolate under the coffee table is being stolen by the rat every day, so we can't just leave food lying around anymore."

Ultimately, the outcome depends on your actions.

Regarding your mother-in-law's behavior,

From my perspective, your mother-in-law's previous act of politeness, which was to offer you the delicious food first, was firstly a way to show her concern for her son. It's possible that this love and concern was "traded" behind the scenes. She may have hoped that in this way, you and your son would also care for her and look after her in the same way. However, stealing the chocolate and corn was a way of protesting and expressing her dissatisfaction.

"You know you like to give me delicious food, but you never offer to share it with me. You always let me eat all at once, and then you make me get it myself." This may be a cry for love. It would be wonderful if you could pay attention to her, take the initiative to care for her, and respect her. Perhaps you could give her the care and love she wants. Otherwise, there may be similar behavior next time.

? Written at the end

My dear, I want to gently remind you that respecting your feelings and taking care of yourself is of great importance. You have done nothing wrong, and these feelings are a natural response.

Then we will respect our own feelings, pay attention to ourselves first, and allow ourselves to gradually improve.

It could be said that the love of someone who loves themselves is the only true love. Otherwise, it may be akin to the love of your mother-in-law, which could appear to show care and kindness, but may also create a certain level of discomfort. She may seek to gain care and attention in return.

I hope my answer is helpful to you. I wish you all the best in your endeavors.