I can't find any good points about myself, why do I always feel inferior?

Hello, dear questioner. I'm happy to see that you've sought help. I sense that your inferiority complex is placing a significant psychological burden on you, which may be preventing you from recognizing your own strengths and expressing yourself naturally in front of others.

Let's talk through your confusion together.

1. Analysis of the problem

Perhaps you tend to see the good in others more than their faults.

As you mentioned, everyone has their own set of challenges. Even people who appear to have more advantages than you may have areas where they could improve. It's possible that one day you might recognize these areas in others and feel less stressed or inferior around them.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider that you may be focusing on your shortcomings rather than your strengths.

In the topic description, you mentioned many areas for improvement, but I didn't see any mention of your strengths. Do you have any strengths that you could share? From your short description, I can see some strengths, but I'd love to hear more.

Perhaps the courage to ask for help is an area that could benefit from some attention.

By coming to the platform today to ask a question, you have demonstrated your awareness of your own problems and your courage in speaking up and seeking help from the teachers here. It takes great courage to show your vulnerable side, and I admire your willingness to do so.

I appreciate the way you have organized your thoughts.

Your problem description is concise yet clear, making it easy to understand your issue.

It would be beneficial to put in the effort to improve.

It seems that you are concerned that what you have worked so hard to achieve might be something that others could find relatively easy to obtain. This suggests that, despite your low self-esteem, you are a hardworking and motivated person who has achieved a certain level of success in a particular field through your own efforts.

It would be beneficial to work on accepting yourself as you are.

You may feel that you have shortcomings and are hesitant to confide in others, fearing that they may perceive you as uneducated or ignorant. It's possible that, because you don't fully accept yourself, you believe others may see you in a similar light.

2. How to break the pattern

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider changing your perception of yourself and focusing on your own merits.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider changing your perception of yourself. When you see more and more of your own merits, it may become easier to build confidence.

It would be beneficial to discover your own strengths.

Take some time to reflect on your strengths. Jot them down on a piece of paper. Then, look at your list every day to remind yourself that you are actually quite good at these things.

It might be helpful to listen to what others think of you.

You might consider inviting your family or friends to chat about what they think are your strengths and write them down in your strengths list.

Consider ways to improve yourself.

It is important to remember that who we are today may not reflect who we will be in the future. While attractive appearances are common, interesting souls are rare.

It is always worth trying to make ourselves more interesting. There are many ways to be interesting, including being humorous, knowledgeable, skilled at life, or a good cook. People are often more confident in areas where they excel.

It is important to accept oneself.

Everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses, and it's important to accept ourselves as we are. True acceptance means appreciating and loving oneself, regardless of whether we think we're outstanding or not. Everyone deserves to be respected, loved, and cared for.

When we are able to accept and appreciate ourselves, it can positively influence those around us.

Good day, question asker.

After reading your description, I would like to extend my support and encouragement. Your concise account reveals a sense of helplessness, anxiety, and frustration. However, I also perceive a keen ability to perceive these emotions and a proactive pursuit of solutions to overcome them. This is a commendable approach.

From your description, I can also perceive that you possess a wealth of knowledge and insight, but it seems that what you know and understand cannot yet be applied to yourself. Is that an accurate assessment?

I am curious to know what kind of strength you draw upon to keep searching for solutions to your problems, even when you feel uncomfortable.

Please describe the circumstances that led to your realization.

Please describe the circumstances under which you do not experience these feelings. Additionally, please provide details regarding the situation, the individuals present, and your activities when you are not affected by these emotions.

These are all resources at your disposal.

It is important to note that this is not your fault. This kind of reason may be related to the repressive, blaming, and uncaring environment and life experiences of our original family education. Of course, sometimes, if you feel this way in a happy family, it may just be your natural character. Therefore, it is essential to understand which of these factors is influencing your behavior.

You are correct in stating that everyone has their own inferiority complex.

However, it is important to recognise that everyone is unique and possesses their own strengths. When we lack confidence, it can hinder our ability to recognise these strengths. It is natural to feel this way, but it is crucial to understand that becoming aware of one's strengths is the first step towards change.

If a positive change were to occur, resulting in the elimination of your current discomfort and the ability to recognize and showcase your strengths, how would your life be different? What actions could you take to facilitate this transformation?

Once the miracle has occurred, will there be any discernible difference in your current state? Who will be aware of the transformation?

I am unaware of the specifics of your situation, but I would like to offer some general advice based on my own experiences in the hope that it will be of assistance to you in achieving a comfortable living situation.

First, adjust your mindset and learn to assess your own strengths and weaknesses.

We are all similar in that we can see the good in others but not in ourselves. When others praise us, we are not always confident and do not always believe it.

If we wish to effect change, it is essential to adjust our mindset and learn to observe our strengths. It is not necessary to identify all of our strengths immediately; identifying one or two each day will gradually instill reason and strength.

Secondly, utilize positive mental suggestions.

When we lack internal strength and experience negative emotions, we can utilize positive mental suggestions to adjust our outlook. For instance, we can remind ourselves each morning before rising and each night before retiring that we are fine, good-looking, lucky, and healthy. We can also anticipate that, with positivity, our lives will improve. This is just one example of a series of positive mental suggestions that can be practiced through meditation.

It is also advisable to seek assistance from external resources.

In the event that we find ourselves susceptible to negative emotions and a lack of agency, we may seek assistance from professional counselors. These professionals employ specialized psychological techniques to assist us in identifying the underlying causes within our subconscious. Additionally, they facilitate a secure, welcoming, and supportive environment for introspection, enabling us to recognize our strengths and cultivate empowerment.

Additionally, there is the option of studying psychology. This allows you to learn and grow while discovering your own strengths, which is a beneficial choice for all.

Hello, I'm Strawberry.

Nobody is perfect. As the questioner mentioned, we all have moments of low self-confidence and our own personal shortcomings. Accepting this is an important first step. However, the questioner still struggles to accept their own shortcomings, see the good in themselves and is concerned that others may not view them in a positive light.

If someone compares the questioner to themselves and then ridicules the questioner, it may not be fair to call the other person an outstanding person. People who use ridicule and attacks on others to make themselves look good may lack self-confidence. They may be taking advantage of other people's concerns and seeing that what they say is being recognized.

I believe there is a concept known as the law of attraction.

The law of attraction suggests that we tend to gravitate towards people who reflect our own characteristics. While we may not initially know what kind of friends we can have, those who attract us will likely share similar worldviews.

It is likely that friends with similar worldviews will not make fun of us or criticize our shortcomings. They will likely treat us sincerely. If, in a relationship, you receive the kind of treatment that the OP is worried about, it may be a sign that the relationship is not as healthy as it could be.

It might be helpful to consider that allowing yourself to become overwhelmed with negative emotions as a result of another person's behavior could potentially hinder your ability to maintain these relationships. It's possible that different perspectives and levels of understanding might create challenges in fostering a healthy and supportive connection.

Could I respectfully propose that we consider the possibility that there might be an inferiority complex at the root of this issue?

Personality is shaped by the environment in which we grow up, the people we meet, and the education we receive. It is not the case that anyone is born with low self-esteem. What might be the biggest factor contributing to the questioner's low self-esteem? This may require the questioner to face it themselves, accept it, and tell themselves that they have grown up and are now able to choose the direction of their lives.

The questioner might benefit from reading "The Courage to Be Disliked" and "You Are the Answer." It's important to remember that we're not always going to be the best, and that's okay. What matters is that we're unique. We can compare ourselves to ourselves, and as long as we're making progress every day, we're doing well.

Here are a few suggestions for building confidence:

When we are able to accept ourselves, regardless of our physical appearance, we can hold our heads high and present ourselves to others with confidence.

The questioner might consider naming five shortcomings that they care about, and then countering each one with two strengths. There are only a limited number of shortcomings, but an unlimited number of strengths. If we are willing, eating an extra bowl of rice today could also be seen as a strength.

It might be helpful to stick to your hobbies, make the most of your strengths, and discover new hobbies. You could try activities like jumping rope, hiking, singing, or dancing. As long as it's something you enjoy, you can try to stick with it. Pursuing your hobbies is about enriching yourself, not necessarily pleasing others. It's possible that other people's comments might not be positive, but you can choose to focus on well-intentioned suggestions that could help you make greater progress and grow.

You might consider participating in more team-building activities. It seems that your concern about how others perceive you may be causing you to hesitate to interact with people. You have the option of participating in more team-building activities and working with a group of strangers to complete tasks together. In the process, you can gradually try to trust each other and work towards the same goal.

It might be challenging at first, but the questioner has already taken the first step by wanting to change the current situation, believing in themselves, and encouraging themselves. It's also important not to overthink things, as this can sometimes lead to different results.

I hope my answer is helpful. I wish you the best of luck!

Good day, inquirer. I am Jia Ao, and I am not seeking any particular outcome at this time.

I have carefully read the problems and confusions you described on the platform. Are you experiencing difficulties in your relationships? You indicate that you are particularly lacking in self-confidence, highly sensitive, and inferior, and you also find that you cannot identify your own advantages. You are afraid of many things, including being laughed at for being poor and ugly, being outperformed by others, being compared to and made to feel worthless when standing next to someone who is better than you, being seen as uneducated and inexperienced, and losing what you have worked hard for to others. These experiences suggest that you have a very low self-esteem and are unsure of how to address it.

It is evident that one's happiness is often transient, giving way to a myriad of concerns. One's existence is characterized by a defensive stance, wherein the pursuit of joy is actively impeded. A profound lack of self-assurance and an unwillingness to acknowledge one's intrinsic value contribute to this state of affairs. The world's beauty and the privileges it offers are often met with skepticism and a sense of undeservingness. These sentiments, collectively, form an inferiority complex that severely impairs one's capacity for happiness.

We would like to take this opportunity to engage in a discussion.

1. [Eliminate inferiority complex]

Low self-esteem is caused by extreme self-esteem. It is precisely because one has a relatively strong sense of self-esteem that one is used to comparing oneself to others in everything one encounters. The more one compares, the more one feels inferior, and the more one feels that one is inferior in every way. It is still necessary to try to analyze the reasons for one's inferiority complex and then deal with it in a targeted manner. One needs to see if it is the influence of the original family, or a lack of correct perception of oneself, always feeling that one is worse than others. One needs to try not to care too much, and one can achieve one's goals through positive efforts, so that one can slowly regain confidence, get rid of inferiority, be good at discovering one's own bright spots, look more at one's own problems, and view oneself objectively and fairly.

2. [Adjust your mindset]

It is imperative to actively adjust one's mindset, to overcome the fear of failure, and to maintain an ordinary attitude. It is crucial to recognize that failure is not a deterrent but rather a stepping stone to success. By adjusting one's mentality, setting realistic expectations, and avoiding excessive self-criticism, one can gradually regain confidence and acknowledge their inherent strengths.

3. [Believe in yourself]

It is important to accept imperfection, as there is no such thing as a perfect world. It is not beneficial to strive for perfection, to become overly focused on details, to compete with oneself, or to set the bar too high. Such actions can lead to an imbalance in one's mentality. It is crucial to relax, to allow oneself to feel happy and at ease, and to enjoy the warmth and care of loved ones. Believing in oneself is essential, as is resisting the influence of false information. Each individual is unique and should believe in their own strength.

4. [Be yourself]

It is important to persevere in being your best self and to compare yourself less with others. The most significant progress is made when you compare yourself with yourself. In order to achieve this, you must have confidence in yourself, believe in your uniqueness and strength, and continue to give yourself positive mental suggestions. These could include "I'm the best!", "I'm different!", "I'm me!", and "I'll definitely be fine!".

Positive mental suggestions can instill confidence and motivation, prompting individuals to work harder and strive for improvement. It is essential to identify areas where self-doubt may arise and to challenge these beliefs.

I extend my sincerest wishes for your success and well-being.

It is my sincere hope that this response is of some assistance to you. The world and I send our best wishes to you.

I'm so grateful you trust me enough to answer your question!

How old are you? And when did you first realize that you're actually pretty amazing and that this is something to celebrate?

From the text description, it's clear that the question owner is extremely adept at thinking critically about their own shortcomings. Not only that, but they're also highly skilled at leveraging this ability to protect themselves from potential harm.

I'm excited to show the world that I'm not afraid of my lack of money or my ugly appearance. I'm ready to prove to others that I'm not worthless just because I'm with someone who is better than me. I'm confident that I can show the world that I'm just as capable as anyone else. I'm eager to share my ideas and show that I'm not inexperienced. I'm ready to prove to the world that what I've worked hard for is not easy, but it's worth it!

If the questioner has so many fears, I'd love to know how they overcome these fears in their daily lives! How do they try to stay away from these fears?

As I read these words, I feel the need to suspend myself from time to time, eager to see what I'll "land" on next! I'm curious about how the questioner manages to "survive" when there is so much to be "afraid" of.

In the text, the main character of the sensory question mostly lives in the world of his own imagination. Perhaps past experiences have made the protagonist "hide" in the world of his imagination, and establish "contact" with the outside world through "imagination." It can also be seen from this that the protagonist is quite eager to "enter" the real outside world, and he's ready to show the world who he really is!

Both advantages and disadvantages are our capital for entering this "world." The world needs people with "advantages," but it also needs people with "disadvantages." Disadvantages and advantages are interdependent and complementary.

The characteristics of the four characters in Journey to the West are a perfect reflection of this point!

The questioner says that he is inferior, but perhaps this inferiority is a "thick shell" that the questioner uses to protect himself. When you feel safe outside one day, you will open the shell and come out on your own. By asking this question, the questioner has already opened a "crack" for looking outside—and it's a great start!

I am absolutely thrilled to be able to help! I really hope that you find the parts of my reply that are useful. Wishing you the very best!

Dear Question Asker,

It is challenging to provide comprehensive guidance on an inferiority complex in a limited space. Nevertheless, I hope to offer a few insights in my reply to support you in exploring alternative perspectives when you feel disappointed or helpless.

[Life is not a competitive arena]

Your comment, "I sometimes think that everyone has their own insecurities," brought to mind a book by Alfred Adler, the father of individual psychology. In his book, "Inferiority and Transcendence," Adler posits that while everyone has insecurities, they can also transcend these and realize their individual value. He suggests that the path to doing so is through "cooperation."

In contrast to the concept of "cooperation," many individuals learn the principles of "competition" at an early age. This often involves a process of comparison between oneself and others, which can lead to feelings of inadequacy.

However, it is important to note that life is not a competitive arena, and there is no need to compare oneself to others in every aspect of life. It is also unproductive to expend significant time and energy trying to "win" over others.

"The current version of the self is an improvement on the previous version."

If you continue to focus on individuals who outperform you or engage in comparisons between your strengths and weaknesses, you will perpetuate a sense of defeat. Instead, direct your attention to your own capabilities, objectives, and achievements, both incremental and significant, from the previous day.

It is important to allow yourself to relax, to be lazy, to be thrifty, and to enjoy humor that may be perceived as cheesy. Prioritize your own happiness and comfort, and focus on the present moment without concerning yourself with the opinions of others.

It is important to recognize that your past experiences are as valuable as your future aspirations.

Perhaps you were teased as a child, and you are still concerned that people will ridicule you. You have been living cautiously, exerting significant effort to alter the stigma imposed by your family of origin, and you may even want to sever all ties with your former self.

However, all of these factors are an integral part of your identity, are important to you, and have shaped who you are today. Therefore, it is essential to first love and accept yourself fully before you can rebuild your confidence.

Ultimately, it is my hope that the original poster will be able to reconcile with herself and provide herself with sufficient self-love.

Hello, dear question asker! You asked, "Why are you always so self-deprecating?"

First, give yourself a big pat on the back for noticing that you don't feel anything. Let's take a look at your question together, my friend.

You say that you sometimes think that everyone may have a point of inferiority, and you're right! We all have one or two, but you still can't feel confident. You can't find your own advantages, and that's okay! You are afraid that others will laugh at you for being poor and ugly, that if you are with someone who is better than you, you will be compared and feel worthless, that others are more capable than you and no one likes you?

It's totally normal to feel this way sometimes! We've all been there. It's natural to worry that if you share something, you'll seem uneducated or inexperienced. It's also normal to feel like what you've worked hard for might seem easy to others. And it's totally understandable if you're not sure what your strengths are. We all have them, but it can be tough to recognize them sometimes.

Let's talk about low self-esteem.

Have you ever wondered what an inferiority complex is?

Low self-esteem is a form of emotional experience. It is an individual's attitude towards self-awareness due to some physical or psychological defects or other reasons. It is manifested in an evaluation of one's abilities or qualities as being too low, belittling oneself or despising oneself, and a psychological state of worrying about losing the respect of others. It's okay if you feel this way sometimes! We all do. It's a cognitive bias that occurs when a person compares themselves to others and comes to the conclusion that they are inferior. They always think that everything about others is good, but they are not good at this or that, and they have a low opinion of themselves.

We all have our own areas where we could do better. Nobody's perfect! If you always compare yourself to others and think you're not as good as they are, it's only natural to feel a bit down.

Let's explore some ways to overcome low self-esteem together!

We all have areas where we feel less confident, and low self-esteem can affect anyone. The good news is that there are ways to overcome it!

1. Cognitive adjustment

The wonderful psychologist Ellis came up with the ABC theory of emotions. It's a great way of understanding how our emotions work! It says that our emotions aren't caused by a single event, but by how we think about that event. Our minds hold beliefs about how we perceive events, and these beliefs influence how we feel and what we do in response to events.

People with low self-esteem often have some beliefs about events that aren't quite right. It's totally normal! But changing these beliefs can help you feel better about yourself.

2. Self-reinforcement.

It's so important to give yourself a little reward when you make a little progress. Start with the little things around you, increase your sense of achievement little by little, and lower the difficulty of your goals and tasks. As long as you can complete them, give yourself lots of love and encouragement to cultivate self-confidence.

3. Positive mental suggestion.

Every morning, stand in front of the mirror and say, "So-and-so, I love you, you're awesome." We all need a little love and encouragement sometimes, and self-suggestion can be a great way to remind ourselves of our worth and abilities. It can give people strength and help them believe in themselves.

I really hope my answer is helpful to you! Sending love to the world and to you! ?

Hello, question asker!

I sometimes think that everyone may have a point of inferiority, but I know that I can overcome it! I just need to find my own advantages.

We may not be able to find our strengths right now, but we can learn a skill and start doing it right away! We can try to do it well, and although we may not see the results right away, what about years from now? The best time to plant a tree was ten years ago, and the second best is now!

We can absolutely seize what we want in the present moment! We can also work hard to achieve what we want.

I'm excited to overcome my fears of being laughed at for being poor, for being ugly, for being with someone who is better than me, for being compared and for being worthless, for being unlovable when someone else is more capable than me, for revealing my true self and showing that I'm uneducated and inexperienced, for being careful and hardworking and

We have so many things to fear, so let's ask ourselves what we can do when faced with fear. Let's try to compare ourselves, to see what we have, what we can do in the present, and what we are good at.

Life is nothing more than you smiling at me and me smiling back! I'm not afraid of being ridiculed. I have the courage to be hated, even if I can't do it. What's the problem?

I'm still cute! This confidence comes from my own recognition of myself.

☀

We start with small things and gradually build up our achievements. When we see that our efforts have paid off, it's just the beginning!

Maybe we only see the parts of ourselves that we don't have, the parts we want, and the happiness we already have. But there's so much more to us than that! Let yourself be imperfect, and try to accept yourself ?

In the eyes of others, they are nothing more than easy targets? I'm not sure what my strengths are, but I should have some! I'm excited to find out what they are.

In the book Low Self-Esteem and Transcendence, it is written: "A truly humble person is a confident person who has an accurate and clear understanding of themselves. They can both accept their weaknesses and also respect their strengths; they can both manage themselves and also dare to take action. However, a person with low self-esteem cannot accept their weaknesses and also dare not get close to their strengths; they cannot manage themselves well and are unable to take appropriate action.

Awe is an appreciation of the other's strength, and humility comes from awe. Fear is a sense of shame about one's own weakness, and because of this shame, one becomes even more self-deprecating. But there's a way out!

Embrace your current inferiority complex as a stepping stone to hard work! If you haven't started yet, start now! See a little bit of yourself in the hard work, and follow through with your actions. You will reach the distant place you want to go!

Hello, I'm Xin Tan, and I'm here to coach you to be the best you can be!

I can sense your inferiority complex, your worries, and your fears. You are afraid of being laughed at and looked down upon, of not being liked by others, and of being isolated as a result. But I can also see your strength in this! You are careful and sensitive, and you pay particular attention to the feelings of others. This is a great quality for a counselor!

But, through your inferiority complex, worries, and fears, I can see your great strength: you are very careful and sensitive. You are very cautious in your actions and pay particular attention to the feelings of others. This quality is particularly needed for a counselor, and I can see that you have it in spades!

At the same time, I also see your firm belief and persistence in one thing, and that is, "I am inferior." If we replace "inferiority" with other words, you still have a firm belief. Isn't this also an excellent quality? Absolutely!

For example, "I am brave," "I am kind," "I am helpful," and "I am simple."

First of all, as you said, we all have different degrees of inferiority. And that's a good thing! Because to some extent, inferiority is the driving force behind our progress, and it can make us better.

Even great people can be self-conscious. But they can also overcome it! Take Adler, for example. He was the author of "Inferiority and Transcendence." He was physically disabled and inferior to his brother in every way. But that didn't stop him from becoming a world-famous psychologist!

For example, everyone around you, including you, will feel ashamed if they can't answer a teacher's question. You will also feel shy and withdraw when you meet someone you like, and you will feel pressure when you get along with colleagues and friends from a different background. These are all signs of low self-esteem.

But what can we do about it? We've just played a little game that "boosts the confidence of others and diminishes our own." How do we understand it?

It's like comparing your height to Yao Ming, racing Liu Xiang, comparing your temperament to Lin Chi-ling, or comparing your wealth to Wang Sicong.

Secondly, in comparison, we have the opportunity to judge ourselves against other people's standards.

We all have our own standards and feelings, and that's what makes us unique! It's great to judge ourselves because we can learn so much from others.

You can see your own shortcomings and room for growth—and you can do something about it!

But after comparing yourself with others, you will only hurt your self-esteem and self-confidence, which will outweigh the gains. Behind this is a limiting belief that "I am not good enough," which makes you constantly doubt and deny yourself. But here's the good news! You can change all that!

Since comparison is inevitable, it is a great idea to turn horizontal comparison with others into vertical comparison with oneself! As long as one compares oneself with yesterday's self and finds oneself to be better, more advanced, and having gained more, one sees hope and gains strength!

So, where does a person's self-confidence come from?

Self-confidence has many twin brothers, including low self-esteem. The good news is that the self-confidence we understand has two levels. One is supported by external, material, and other people.

For example, a car, a house, money, social security, social status, a stable income, and the affirmation and approval of others—all of these things can be yours if you want them to be!

However, once these supports are removed, the entire person will fall into a desperate void. But don't worry! There's plenty you can do to avoid this happening.

Another fantastic aspect of self-confidence is having confidence in oneself. He is very sure of his own value because he has confidence in himself as a person, so he is also full of confidence in the future. Find your own sense of worth, give yourself positive feedback constantly, and gradually boost your self-confidence!

I'm so excited to tell you about The Power of Self-Growth! It's perfect for you!

I really hope the above is helpful to you, and I love you and the world! ?

If you want to keep the conversation going, just click "Find a coach" in the top right corner or at the bottom. I'd love to chat with you one-on-one and help you grow!

I extend to you a warm embrace and offer my services as a psychological counselor, Zhang Huili. As it happens, I also possess a degree of self-doubt. However, the characteristics of Scorpio have shaped me into a person with a high level of self-assurance. There is a saying that describes Scorpio: because of low self-esteem, they are conceited. Let's take a moment to examine the nature of low self-esteem.

I believe that the value of being born as a human being is unique.

As a philosopher once said, no two leaves in the world are alike. Similarly, no two people in the world are unique. Even if you are the one who contributes "value to be served," you also have value of existence. Let's put it this way: the whole world is full of capable, perfect, and outstanding people. Who will set them off and accept their service? Perhaps the value of existence of capable, perfect, and outstanding people is not to better serve the world.

I believe it is thanks to the existence of people like us, who are not capable, outstanding, or beautiful enough, that they can be set off to look beautiful.

[The purpose of self-reflection is to make progress, not to harm yourself]

I apologize for using such strong words. It seems to me that you are a person who is good at self-reflection and humble, but this greatest strength of yours has unfortunately been used as a weapon to harm yourself. You see, your assessment of yourself is so accurate: you are poor, not pretty, uneducated, and have little knowledge.

It seems that you are concerned that others may not view you in a positive light. It's understandable to feel this way, as everyone has their own challenges and concerns. It's unlikely that anyone would point out every minor flaw or mistake. Perhaps it would be helpful to consider how you would feel if you were in their position.

I'm more curious about why you hate yourself so much than the cause of your self-doubt. Could you tell me a little bit more about what kind of childhood experience led to your being so critical of yourself?

Could I ask who you most want to "see" when you try so hard to be perfect?

I would like to suggest that you read Cong Fei's book, "Raising the Child in You." It is an accessible introduction to psychology that can help you begin your journey of self-exploration and self-redemption. It addresses the important topic of how a strong sense of inferiority can stem from a low sense of worth, which can manifest as a persistent feeling of being worthless. This lack of a sense of worth is often due to self-negation, which can make it challenging to accept yourself internally. If you are unable to accept yourself, it can be difficult for others to accept you as well. This can reinforce the belief that you are bad and worthless.

[Discover the sparkle in yourself]

I would like to take this opportunity to tell you about an exciting new challenge that the Yixinli platform has recently launched. The challenge is to find your own sparkle by not repeating yourself for 30 days. I would highly encourage you to participate, pay close attention to this topic, and observe how others discover their own sparkle and how change happens. It's about replacing your old negative beliefs with more positive ones. I believe you have many good qualities, including being delicate, humble, kind, and pursuing excellence. You are also strict with yourself, which is an admirable quality. As we are not yet familiar with each other, I believe you are the best person to define what your own sparkle is. I hope you will consider joining the challenge! In 30 days, you will be living up to your full potential.

My name is Zhang Huili, and I'm a listener who strives to be a good communicator. I hope my answer can be helpful to you. If you find it useful, I'd appreciate it if you could give me a like.

Hello! I'm a heart exploration coach, and I'm here to help. I can see that you're struggling to find your own advantages. Why do you feel so inferior?

It's totally normal to feel like everyone has a point of inferiority. We all do! But it's also okay to feel confident in yourself. You might be afraid of being laughed at for being poor and ugly, or of being compared to people who are better than you. You might be afraid of being worthless, or of being seen as less capable than others. You might be afraid of not being liked. You might be afraid of revealing something and seeming uneducated or inexperienced. You might be afraid of what others think of what you've worked hard for.

It's totally understandable that you're not sure what your strengths are. I'm here to help!

First of all, I think you're right in thinking that everyone is inferior and everyone has a part of themselves that is inferior. Maybe you see some people who are very good at something, but they also have their own shortcomings in other areas, just like you. It's totally normal to worry about whether you'll make a fool of yourself, whether you're worthless, and to be afraid of being looked down upon by others.

People are social beings who grow up in relationships, get to know themselves, form a self-concept, and develop their own views of themselves, of others, and of the world. It's all part of being human!

I can see that you're having a bit of a rough time right now. It's totally normal to feel this way sometimes. I just wanted to let you know that self-esteem is really about accepting yourself for who you are. It's about embracing your strengths and your weaknesses, and seeing them as part of the whole picture.

I see that you say you can't find your own merits. I'm here to tell you that no one is born with only shortcomings and no merits! The reason you can't find your own merits is because you only focus on your shortcomings. It's like half a glass of water. Some people see that I still have half a glass of water and are happy, while others say I only have half a glass of water left and are frustrated.

It's so interesting how our perceptions of people and things can affect our emotions and behaviors!

I truly believe that you can change your state of mind by adjusting your perception.

When you notice those negative emotions and thoughts coming up, you can check in with yourself to see if they're true. You can rate each thought you have on a scale of 0 to 100, to see how much you believe it.

Then, you can test the validity of your thoughts by doing some simple behavioral experiments. If your thoughts are proven to be incorrect, you can replace them with new, more reasonable and more adaptive thoughts.

You can also find evidence to prove the validity of your thoughts, if you'd like!

Let's say one of your thoughts is "Other people are better than me, I'm worthless." You probably believe 90% of what you think, so it'd be a great idea to look for evidence that proves you are worthless and evidence that proves you are not worthless. What's a more objective and realistic idea? Replace the idea with a new idea, and then re-score how much you believe the idea "Other people are better than me, I'm worthless." Then what will you do?

This is a method of cognitive psychology that can help you judge your automatic thinking.

If you'd like some extra support, you can also reach out to a professional psychological counselor. They can help you work through the issues you're facing. If you'd like to chat further, you can click below to find a coach who can interpret for you, or you can choose Heart Exploration to accompany you. You can also communicate with me one-on-one if you'd like. I'm here to help in any way I can.

Dear questioner,

It seems that the questioner has a very strong sense of shame, a lack of confidence in himself, and the belief that he is inferior to others in every way. He also seems to be afraid of being ridiculed. You also appear to have an inferiority complex, and your inner self reflects a sense of worthlessness.

I can relate to your feelings. It's often the case that we lack confidence because we can't see the coexistence of our strengths and weaknesses. It's as if you're focusing on your weaknesses, but there are also many strengths that you possess.

If I might offer some personal advice,

(1) First, it might be helpful to affirm and accept yourself.

Everyone has strengths and weaknesses, so it's important to accept ourselves, recognize our strengths, work on them, acknowledge our weaknesses, and be aware of areas where we could improve.

(2) While we cannot control what others say about us, we can control what we say about ourselves.

If you find yourself thinking poorly of yourself and feeling worthless, it may be an indication that you haven't yet established your self-esteem and self-confidence. To improve these areas, it can be helpful to recognize that you are not worthless, that you are not the worst, and that you are also valuable. These values may be intangible, and it's important to be aware of them and see them.

(3) You might consider practicing saying "I'm great" in the mirror every day.

We can look at our reflection in the mirror, smile at ourselves, and say, "I'm good, I'm great, I have many good qualities too." It may be helpful to learn to encourage and affirm ourselves, as many self-confident people have gone through this stage and found it beneficial to start with self-encouragement.

(4) Consider learning to take responsibility for yourself.

In this case, since no one is responsible for us, we have the opportunity to decide for ourselves what kind of person we want to be and become. If we are submissive and lack self-confidence, and even look down on ourselves, then it's possible that no one else will look down on us either. Therefore, it might be helpful for us to consider taking responsibility for ourselves and working on improving our self-esteem and confidence.

Finally, during this stage of growth and independence, it is important to remember that boosting self-confidence is a process we must go through. It is helpful to believe in your own value, build self-esteem and confidence, love yourself well, remember that you are not worthless, identify your own strengths and actively carry them forward, and acknowledge your own weaknesses and actively correct them.

I wish you the best.

Dear questioner, From your text, I can see your fear of the world, your grievances, and also your yearning and longing for a beautiful life in this world. I hug you. You are so eager to present the perfect image of yourself to others that you carefully judge yourself. All the parts of yourself that you think are not good enough are there to make you a better person.

I used to be so cautious in dealing with the world. I was afraid to speak because I knew I would say the wrong thing and make others hate me even more.

I refuse to look in the mirror because I know my appearance is ugly and I don't want to see it. I refuse to go out to socialize because I know my lack of tact will make social situations awkward and weird.

Everyone around me is beautiful and confident, but I am nothing.

In that state, I became more and more introverted, more and more inferior, and the people around me also looked down on me more and more. I entered a negative cycle.

As a result, my life became a mess, and the people closest to me betrayed me. I knew then that if I don't even love myself, I can't expect others to love me. I also knew that I could achieve happiness and fulfillment.

I once heard someone say that we should focus on the healthy parts rather than the pathological parts. I see that I smiled today, and I am grateful for my smile. I see that I answered your questions carefully today, and I am grateful for my willingness to try hard.

I went to bed early, and I am grateful that I am living a healthy life. I ate, and I am grateful to myself for eating well in order to live well.

I see that I read books, and I am grateful that I can read and I am willing to grow. I am grateful for everything.

I am grateful that I saw the questioner's question. It made me realize that there are still people in this world who dislike themselves and look outside for help to save themselves.

I'm going to tell you how I feel about this question. If my answer isn't what you were expecting, I hope you'll understand. I'm confident that the next time we meet, you'll see a better version of yourself, and I'll see a better version of me.

Hello! I'll give you a 360-degree hug!

You know you have strengths! You just don't know what they are yet.

The first and most obvious advantage is that you know to ask for help from a professional when you encounter difficulties. This is a huge plus compared to some people who will only figure things out for themselves when they encounter difficulties. You will be able to find people who are willing to help you, which is great!

You have to believe that there are still so many people out there who are willing to help others!

Now, let's talk about something really exciting: how to find your strengths!

First, don't compare your weaknesses with other people's strengths.

For example, if you are afraid of being laughed at for being poor, you will definitely be poor if you compare yourself with the rich. Many people feel that they are poor, and even Wang Sicong is richer than them.

If you want to compare, compare yourself with people at a similar level! For example, people of similar age, family, education, and ability. You should compare horizontally, not vertically.

In a horizontal comparison, the gaps you see can basically be made up for, which is great! But in a vertical comparison, it's a different story. The gaps you see are mostly chasms, which can be scary, but there's no need to worry!

If you say you are ugly, you will naturally not compare favorably with handsome men and beautiful women. But you can still look clean and tidy, which makes people feel comfortable!

Guess what! Our parents gave us the appearance we had for the first 20 years of our lives, and now it's our turn to take responsibility for the rest.

So, comparison is definitely possible! And the method of comparison is really important. You can try comparing horizontally.

Second, use a professional method to find your strengths!

I'm excited to share a few of my favorite books with you! "Personal Strengths: Psychological Assessments that Reveal the Truth about Personal Abilities" and "Strengths Practice: An Advanced Guide to Breaking Through Underlying Thinking" are both incredible resources for discovering your unique strengths.

And there are even some awesome advantage assessments in the Yi Xinli assessment that you can try!

Or you can also talk to a counselor and work together to find your strengths!

I'm a counselor who is often both Buddhist and depressed, occasionally motivated and positive, and I love the world!

Hello, question asker. I can see you're feeling confused right now. I'm here to support you!

What you're going through is a normal part of growth. Let me give you a warm hug again.

When you run into a problem, you know you can come to this platform and ask questions or get help when you need it. I think that's one of your strengths.

It's just that you haven't found any good points yet, but that doesn't mean you don't have any at all.

Sometimes we feel like we're not up to the task because we don't have confidence in ourselves.

Why don't I have more confidence in myself?

I feel like I'm not as good as other people.

But this isn't good enough. Sometimes it's just something our minds come up with; it's not real.

I have to admit that I used to be just like you, the original poster. I was very self-deprecating.

Later on, I decided to try keeping a gratitude diary.

Every day, make a note of three things you like about yourself, no matter how big or small.

After writing more, I realized that I have more advantages as a person.

I've been studying psychology on my own for over two years now, and it's had a big impact on me.

I'd also suggest reading more in your spare time, especially books on psychology.

Once you've read more, you'll feel more confident.

To help you accept yourself better.

I really hope you can find a good solution to the problem you're having soon.

That's all I can think of at the moment.

I hope my answer is helpful and inspiring to you. I'm the respondent, and I study hard every day.

Here at Yixinli, we love you and wish you the best!

Dear host, I hope this message finds you well. I want to extend my warmest wishes to you, and I hope that this cold winter will be as warm as summer for you!

When I read your words, I am reminded of my past and present self. I must admit that I used to be quite self-conscious, and I still have moments where I feel that way. I don't mind if you laugh, but I was born with buck teeth, which I have always been self-conscious about. I was teased and given nicknames since I was little, and I was very self-conscious. My diary and essays all reveal my inferiority complex. I slowly built up my confidence with the friendly praise from the outside world. The challenging part is that I went from being self-conscious to being a little narcissistic...

I would like to share my true feelings with you in the hope that you will see that you are not alone. Many older people have been brought up with educational methods that they now feel are repressive. This can cause them to worry that their children will become complacent. As children, we often doubt ourselves and our abilities, which can lead to feelings of negativity and internal conflict. It is perfectly normal to experience feelings of inferiority, and it is also very normal to move from feeling inferior to feeling confident. I would like to encourage you to join me in becoming more confident together!

I would like to share my experience in the hope that it will be of benefit to you. I would like to suggest that you try to recall how I became more and more confident. I hope that my sharing can empower you to increase your confidence together!

It might be helpful to gently tell your parents that their words can sometimes make you feel a bit inferior. You could suggest that they might like to try expressing themselves in a different way. This can be a good thing to talk about with your parents, no matter what your age. After all, they are the people we need most in this life, and they have a big influence on us, both now and for our children and grandchildren in the future.

It would be beneficial to collect the praise of those around you, record it, analyze it objectively, record it, and summarize it. It is thought that people with low self-esteem tend to ignore praise and focus on criticism. It may be helpful to take the initiative to start collecting positive comments, correctly and objectively understand criticism, record it when we receive objective criticism, change it, and break it.

It may be helpful to record your positive events every day, give yourself a little reward for completing one great event after another, and reward yourself.

If I might make one more suggestion, you might find it helpful to read about Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. While changing our core beliefs is not easy, it is definitely possible. I hope you will be able to persevere, and I wish you happiness!

Hello, my name is Gu Yi. I believe that being humble and consistent are important qualities to possess.

It would be beneficial to gain an understanding of the reasons behind your inferiority complex.

It is worth noting that the formation of character can be influenced by a number of factors and conditions in the surrounding environment. Could I ask where your inferiority complex and sensitivity began to develop? The description is of wanting to do something but not being able to or not daring to. What might be the root cause of this comparison?

Could we perhaps consider the possibility that we may be experiencing feelings of inferiority and cowardice, and that these may have a root cause that we can address? It might be helpful to acknowledge our sensitivity, self-awareness, and insight, while also being mindful of the ways in which we may unintentionally deny our own experiences.

If we are unable to see the braver self because there is no affirmative voice around us, we could perhaps try writing down an analysis of our personality and then comparing and contrasting to discover more about ourselves.

It would be beneficial to build "core confidence" in your own feelings.

It may be helpful to identify your own strengths according to your own sensitivity, without letting inferiority or denial get in the way. Once you have done that, you can start to build your own core self-confidence. This is a way of being yourself that can work for you.

It is important to recognize that other people's understanding of us is often shaped by their interpretation of certain events or behaviors. Many of us have experienced being perceived by others based on a single action or incident. This highlights the need for tools that can help us become more aware of ourselves.

With this understanding, we can judge ourselves well and then understand our own behavior. It may also be helpful to consider how we think, understand our own feelings, respect our own feelings, express ourselves first and then see the results, and believe that being true to ourselves is the first step.

I wish you the best.

Hello, I'm Xiang Yuchenghuan, a heart exploration coach. I hope my answer can be of some help to you.

Everyone has their own insecurities. I used to feel like I was nothing because I was a full-time housewife with no job after graduating from graduate school. I felt inferior and thought everyone was better than me. But now, I've moved from feeling inferior to feeling confident. It takes time, practice, positive thinking, and positive actions. I believe I can do it, and you can too.

My advice to you is this:

First, we need to accept the part of ourselves that we feel inferior about. We can't change if we don't accept our own inadequacies.

You said you're afraid of people laughing at your lack of money and your appearance, of being with someone who is better than you, of being compared to others, of being disliked, of being thought to be uneducated and uncultured... When we have so many fears about what others may think, we really become very cautious when dealing with others, and we are easily hurt. We may feel that this has something to do with what others say about us, but in fact, it is just related to our inner shadows.

The parts of ourselves that we are most afraid of others talking about are also the parts that we are most ashamed of. It is precisely because we do not accept these parts of ourselves that we try to hide them, and so we are afraid of others talking about them. So, if we can accept these parts of ourselves, admit that we are just poor, just ugly, just not as capable or good as some people, just not liked by some people... you will find that, paradoxically, you will become internally relaxed and empowered.

Dong Yuhui is a great example. If he doesn't accept that he is ugly, then when someone in the comment section says that he is ugly, he will also feel very inferior and angry, and it may even affect his life. But he doesn't, because he admits that he is not good-looking. He thinks he is right. Some people say that this is because he is strong inside. In fact, the real strength inside is to accept yourself enough. You see, even if he doesn't have a particularly handsome face, he can still live a wonderful life and become a bright star.

2. Let go of comparisons. When we compare ourselves to others, we only see the negative. We're always comparing our shortcomings to other people's strengths. But comparing people isn't meaningful. Everyone has different strengths and bright spots. We just need to bring our own strengths into play and realize our own value.

I used to be a big fan of comparing myself to others, probably influenced by my family of origin. My father always liked comparing me to other kids, which led me to develop this pattern. It caused me a lot of trouble, sometimes deep pain.

The thing is, when we compare ourselves to others, we tend to focus on what they're doing well and overlook our own strengths. The more we do this, the more we feel like we're falling short.

But the truth is, there's no real comparison between people. Someone might be prettier than you, but not necessarily wiser. Someone might be wiser than you, but not necessarily happier. Someone might be more educated than you, but not necessarily healthier. Someone might be richer than you, but not necessarily kinder. There are so many ways we can measure a person. Everyone is a complex composite, not just a simple patchwork of individual traits. So, there doesn't seem to be much point in comparing. But comparison can still be a mirror for us to see ourselves. When you feel particularly jealous of someone in some way during the comparison process, it shows that it's an inner desire of yours, a direction you want to develop.

For instance, I used to constantly compare myself to a friend and was very jealous of her. I realized that this was because I wanted to be like her, someone who could take care of their family and also balance their work and development. When I started to take action and work hard in the direction I desired, gradually I stopped being jealous of her. Of course, I also stopped comparing myself to her because I was living my own life and the qualities she once had were just part of what I longed for inside. When I had those qualities, I wouldn't compare myself to her.

3. Look for ways to identify your own strengths and build the habit of recognizing and appreciating your own achievements.

It can still be tough for some of us who have been compared since childhood to recognize our own strengths. But there are ways to help us identify our own advantages.

For instance, you can start by writing down one of your strengths each day and keep going, even if you don't think you have any. See if you can find the positive aspects within yourself. You can also try writing down 100 of your strengths in one go. If you can't think of any, keep going until you have written 100.

You can also ask your friends and loved ones to write down three of your strengths. You'll probably find that the strengths they write down will overlap, and those will be your most advantageous traits.

You can also start tonight. Every night before bed, think about the three good things you did today. Why do you think they were good? What do they say about your strengths? Then, give yourself a little pat on the back. This praise is not hollow, but positive feedback based on the real things that happened during the day. This will give you a huge source of support, allowing you to gradually develop the habit of self-affirmation and self-praise, and constantly improve your inner strength. Gradually, you can move from low self-esteem to self-confidence.

I hope you find this helpful. Best regards,

I'm so happy to have met you! You're great!

After reading your words, I can feel that you are ready for a change and ready to see yourself in a new light! You want to be seen and recognized, and I know you'll be amazed at how wonderful it feels when you are!

Hugs to you, dear friend! It must be tough living like this, but I admire your courage to question and change!

Asking this question shows that you have the inner strength to change the situation and that you deserve to be confident and beautiful!

First, you need to know where this habitual thinking comes from. Why do you always want to compare yourself with others, or with different people in different aspects? Why are you used to seeing the shortcomings in yourself, rather than the things you have? Why are you afraid of being criticized? Calm down and think about it. Recall when this habit formed.

It's very likely that your childhood caregivers often treated you in this way: constantly comparing you to others, always criticizing you, and rarely praising you. But here's the good news! We can see that deep down, you long to be seen, to be appreciated, praised, recognized, and affirmed. And we can help you achieve that!

The great news is that these psychological needs are common to all people! There is absolutely no shame in them.

Knowing this, I remember to give myself a big pat on the back and appreciate myself more when things go wrong.

Second, low self-esteem is not a bad thing; it is used to remind us of the areas in which we need to grow. Be generous in admitting and facing your own shortcomings. "My nose is a bit flat, but I have a pretty dimple," "I'm not as eloquent as others, but I'm very good at empathizing with others," "My figure is not as good as others, but my body's immune system is great"... I don't need to be perfect at everything; what I have now is enough for me to get by, and it's enough to get me by!

Besides, there's no such thing as a perfect person in the world. So, change what you can and accept what you can't!

For example, in terms of self-discipline, independence, and diligence, I may not be as good as others for the time being, but that just means there's room for improvement! Low self-esteem can remind us to try harder, and that's a great thing!

Third, record three of your own virtues every day. I remember there was an activity called "Praise Myself" a while ago. Try writing it down every day, and see your own virtues. Develop the habit of affirming yourself the first time you encounter something, and you'll be amazed at how many virtues you discover!

In the end, there's no need to become someone else. We can simply become a better version of ourselves and be comfortable being ourselves! After all, everyone has different standards, and we can't possibly meet the standards of everyone else. But that's okay! It's great if we bring a certain aspect of ourselves to the extreme.

I really hope my answer is helpful to you! I wish you the absolute best!