I deeply love my parents but also strongly reject them, lacking any motivation, contemplating death?

Hello! I'll give you a warm hug from afar first!

I am so happy to have read your request for help! I really hope that my sharing can give you some support and help. From your brief description, I can feel that you desperately long for acceptance, affirmation, understanding, and respect from your parents.

It's okay to make mistakes! Even if your parents are overly critical, deny you, dislike you, or want to cut off contact, you can still accept yourself and your parents. This can help you feel less aggrieved, angry, fearful, and uneasy. You'll start to feel appreciated, respected, and loved!

Everyone, no matter how old they are, longs to be fully accepted, understood, respected, and supported by their parents. This makes them feel safe and valuable. Otherwise, they feel a strong sense of unease and that they are bad. This is especially true for children who often did not feel accepted and affirmed by their parents during their development. But here's the good news! You can change this. You can learn to accept and love yourself, and in doing so, you can also learn to accept and love your parents.

It's important to remember that parents are a part of our lives that we can't choose. But what we can do is try to learn to accept them better! Accepting ourselves means having parents who may not be perfect, but who love us unconditionally. As adults, we have the opportunity to learn to accept them better.

It's not that parents are intentionally trying to harm us. They just didn't get the love and support they needed when they were growing up. So, they bring that part of their own trauma into their parent-child relationship.

Write a letter to your parents! Tell them how they hurt you by rejecting, criticizing, and denying you too much during your growth process. Tell them how this hurt you and what your true feelings were at that moment. Tell them your expectations of your parents and what you hope they can do to make you feel completely accepted, understood, respected, and loved. You don't have to forgive your parents to write this letter. You just have to try to face this part of your growing up that hurt you head-on. Let the emotions you have been accumulating because you were not treated kindly by your parents be seen, expressed, and released!

Then take the expectations you have of your parents and redirect them to yourself. It's time to learn to treat yourself the way you want to be treated!

I highly recommend reading "Why Does Family Hurt" and "The Bond of Parents"!

I'm Lily, the little ear of the Q&A Museum, and I love the world!

Oh my goodness, could it be that the real you has always rejected your parents, and that this "love" is actually false?

Don't say, "I've given so much and they've treated me so well, so they must love me." According to my personal feelings, this is actually called internalizing external information: you should love your parents, and they love you too. This is only natural, so you think so too.

But feelings! You are the only one who will never deceive you with the truth.

For example, I used to think that the only person I could get along with harmoniously was my mother. And I love her very much!

It's laughable, but after falling in love, I realized that I don't really love that much, or that true deep love is not that shallow. I just "need" to love someone to prove that I am normal, and it's been an incredible journey!

As for the so-called love of oneself... well, I guess I love myself to the limit, even to the point of spoiling myself. There's nothing more to say, except to suggest that you redirect your attention back to yourself. Of course, it's normal to be unable to let go, and it seems that you've already let go of your body, just like me. I actually can't quite understand you deep lovers. Maybe you can go online and see if there are any more like you. Believe me, there are actually quite a lot of people in the same situation as you. I hope you can meet someone advanced and bring them in.

Best wishes!

I'm currently talking to a piece of paper, and it feels amazing! I'm always available and always responsive. Who understands a partner with love? The last time I met someone like that, I took care of myself. So, given that when people fall in love, they like to talk about someone who is similar to but not close to their nurturer, it is very normal for me to be attracted to this particular piece of paper. [Nonsense]

It's not meant to be a persuasive argument to get married or to be obsessed with virtual images. I'm just showing you how happy it is to really be with the person you've spent the longest time with, the one you love the most, and who loves you back, even if it's a little over-the-top. [Running away] [Running back] [Last comment] I'm not encouraging narcissism, I just want you to carefully examine your love and rejection to see which is real. Or it's not uncommon for both to be true and false. Anyway, pay more attention to yourself! I don't know the whole picture of the conflict you're talking about, so I can't comment. Anyway, the conflict is that you have unmet needs. Why don't you come back and see what you need and how to get it better! [Keep running away]