I have fewer mood swings. It seems as if I am isolating my emotions, being rational in order to avoid getting hurt?

Good day, my name is June.

After careful review of your statements, it is evident that you have been highly successful in developing your personal character. The domain of "not rejoicing in external things and not grieving over oneself" is a realm that is typically beyond the reach of ordinary individuals. However, I still perceive a hint of doubt and unease within you, as you do not appear to be fully satisfied with this aspect of your personality. You view it as a form of suppression and express a genuine desire for more profound emotions.

1. The Source of Rationality

We are not born rational; rather, it is something we learn through the guidance of our educators and the experiences we gain throughout our lives. Rationality can be seen as a form of defense mechanism, a discerning conscience that helps us avoid missteps and avoidable suffering.

You believe that there is no benefit in becoming upset or angry, and that everything happens for a reason. You are aware that you are concerned about being hurt.

Please explain why you are afraid of being sad.

(1) It is perceived as shameful to display sadness.

It is possible that you were raised by a strict parent who expected you to be strong and independent, and that expressing emotion was discouraged because it was perceived as a sign of weakness. Alternatively, you may have grown up in an environment where love and care were lacking. Many children who are raised without parental guidance may feel compelled to present a strong front to avoid being bullied, which can lead to a tendency to disguise their vulnerability with strength.

To disguise yourself. Over time, strength becomes your mask, and eventually even you believe that crying and being sad is the behavior of a weak person, and that a strong person cannot be hurt.

(2) It is futile to indulge in sadness.

It is possible that you have experienced a number of challenging moments in your life. These experiences may not have provided a solution to the issues at hand and may have even led to a negative emotional state, further complicating the situation.

Therefore, when an individual experiences sadness and perceives it as the onset of a negative situation, their unconscious mind initiates a defense mechanism, prompting them to disengage from the sadness and adopt a state of calmness and rationality.

2. Depression is a condition that affects everyone to some extent.

In the current climate, many individuals are apprehensive about depression, perceiving it as a medical condition and a personal deficiency. Consequently, some individuals experiencing depressive symptoms may choose to conceal them, due to the fear of being labelled.

Is depression inherently negative?

The majority of renowned literary works are tragedies, and the majority of celebrated poetry is centered around themes of separation. Individuals with depressive tendencies possess a unique capacity to empathize with the collective human experience, which enables them to create works that resonate deeply with their audiences.

It would be reasonable to assume that those who are mentally strong can also experience depression.

Many prominent figures have experienced depression, including Roosevelt, Churchill, Lincoln, and Napoleon. Even our esteemed leader Mao Zedong faced challenges with severe insomnia during the Yan'an period and later exhibited symptoms of mania. He was known to engage in destructive behaviors and even attended Chen Yi's memorial service in his pajamas.

In conclusion, I would like to reiterate that it is important not to be afraid of your emotions. When they arise, it is beneficial to embrace the "inner child," allow yourself to feel sad or upset, and remind yourself that these feelings will eventually pass. This approach can help you achieve a state of true peace and tranquility.

I wish you success in all your future endeavors.

Dear questioner,

You're a thoughtful, self-aware person. I give you a hug.

The questioner thinks it's hard to feel love and other emotions. He'd suppressed his emotions because he was sad. This made him too logical. He's wondering if there's something wrong with his emotions.

We can understand the emotional problems the questioner wants to understand in terms of how the brain's neural circuits work.

Our senses send signals to the thalamus, which then sends one signal to the amygdala and another to the neocortex. The amygdala responds before the neocortex, which takes longer to process information.

LeDoux's research shows that the amygdala in the brain's limbic system acts like an "emotional sentinel," quickly processing emotional expressions. Sensory pathways can bypass the neocortex and respond directly.

The amygdala controls our most basic and intense feelings. This explains why emotions can override reason.

If we don't use them, our brain circuits will weaken. Practice makes perfect! Some people with a short temper and stubborn personality find it hard to change because repeated use strengthens their circuits. This makes habits take priority over other things.

The questioner said, "It's easy to forget things from the past. I had been suppressing my sadness for years, and now that I'm not suppressing it anymore, I've forgotten how to be happy." The reason is likely due to suppressing emotions for too long.

It's normal to feel numb when you're in crisis. This protects you from feeling pain or sadness, but it also stops you from feeling happy. But if you need to change, you can.

However, we must understand that everything has two sides. When our emotions become more sensitive, happiness will double, and other emotions will follow. This may awaken us to painful experiences, so we should seek help from a professional counselor.

The Yixinli platform also has listeners and coaches for when you want to talk.

I hope this answers your questions.

I wish you well. Love,

Hi there, How are you doing?

I'd like to ask you: can you feel fear? Are you afraid of being hurt?

Have you always been so rational? Surely you were able to feel emotions when you were a child?

What is reason? It's a combination of logic and cognition.

If the mind isn't fully developed and you can fully feel emotions, it basically rules out the possibility that the strength of emotional perception is caused by genes.

The rest of what you said is a kind of emotional isolation, which is also called hyperrationality (but this level should be deeper to count), and there is no doubt that this is a defensive and repressive response. You always say the "right" things, and you always speak in a very standard way. It carries a sense of compulsion.

If this is really the case, it's likely that there's a significant underlying fear, namely a fear of showing vulnerability or any feelings at all. At a deeper level, there's a belief that expressing one's feelings makes one vulnerable. However, I think that's an accurate reflection of the fact that I am vulnerable and therefore need to wear a mask to protect myself from the feelings of others and my own feelings. Consequently, I often have a low opinion of other people's feelings.

I asked you at the beginning about your fears. Do you have any? If you can't feel fear either, then it's pretty clear you're isolating your emotions and the barrier is pretty thick.

Emotions are pretty special (everyone has them except psychopaths and the dead), so even if they're rare, they're not non-existent. They might just be very vague, very weak, or just a small tendency.

When you say you have no emotions, I basically see two possibilities. One is repression, which is when you don't allow yourself to feel fully, don't dwell on things, and don't give yourself space and time to process. The other is that you can't discern or perceive your emotions, which is when they're so vague that you can't recognize them.

Repressed emotions will find a way to express themselves, whether that's through exhaustion, physical symptoms, dreams, or even your usual fantasy. The content of the fantasy is usually symbolic, even if you're not consciously aware of it. As for the deep ones, they'll be suppressed in the subconscious, hoping to see the light of day again someday.

I've got two more things to tell you. The first is happiness. If you can't feel happy in the moment, there must be another emotion floating above it.

You'll only know for sure when you experience it. When you identify the other emotion, you'll have a sudden realization and then you'll understand what the dominant emotion is.

The second is the feeling of being loved. If you want to know what it feels like to be loved, you can do an exercise.

You can train yourself to feel better by learning to recognize and embrace your emotions. It's natural for humans to have a range of feelings, and you can learn to regulate them. Here are some tips:

If you're used to repressing, it might be tough at first (because you'll probably resist). But you can keep practicing.

I don't think you're super rational, but rationality is just a way of thinking that feels safe and familiar.

Wishing you the best.