I have poor sleep, I'm stressed, and I'm unhappy every day. How can I adjust?

Dear Host, I am honored to respond to your inquiry. From your provided information, it is evident that you have been facing significant challenges recently. Primarily, you are exerting considerable effort to study, yet your learning environment is not optimal. Additionally, your sleep patterns have been disrupted.

I invested significant effort to gain admission to graduate school, yet I find myself in a situation where I am pursuing a field of study that does not align with my interests and where the faculty members exhibit a lack of accountability. I am unable to contribute meaningfully to the financial well-being of my family due to my physical condition and the accompanying anxiety.

The current state of affairs can be attributed to the discrepancy between one's ideal self and one's actual self. There is a desire to bridge this gap, but there is also a sense of being overwhelmed. One is still engaged in graduate studies in the field of clinical medicine, and the trajectory of one's research may differ from that of others. While one cannot directly assist one's parents in their lifetime, one can offer guidance and advice that is more profound than that of the average individual.

In your question, you demonstrate a strong desire to alter the status quo. Despite having passed the master's exam through your own efforts, you are contemplating dropping out due to the school's and teacher's perception that learning is futile, your parents' declining health and inability to provide assistance, and your own ambivalence about continuing. This internal conflict has led to a state of indecision, causing significant emotional distress.

It would be beneficial to ascertain whether the freshman year curriculum is particularly demanding and whether there is time set aside for social practice. If feasible, it would be advantageous to secure a part-time position that is more closely aligned with your academic major. This could provide you with the opportunity to earn supplementary income, assist your family, gain practical social experience, and accumulate experience that could be valuable in securing future employment.

Ultimately, any learning process entails the enhancement of one's capacity to analyze problems and devise solutions. The source of anxiety may be the discrepancy between the passage of time and the realization of expectations regarding one's abilities.

If one performs to the best of one's abilities, one's performance will improve and one will become increasingly confident. Furthermore, the direction one is heading will become increasingly clear.

I am pleased to confirm that I have an appointment. 1983. I extend my warmest regards to you all.

Dear friend, I've read your confession, I understand your pain, and I can relate to feeling mentally drained every day and tired all the time. Let's explore together!

1. I went to graduate school at a school I didn't really like, and I'm not really interested in the master's degree. My supervisor doesn't really care about me, and I feel like going to graduate school is pointless.

Going to graduate school was your original goal, right? Before you met this teacher and school, you also hoped to go to graduate school to improve yourself, didn't you?

It's your choice, so just stick with it. There's a saying that's really practical in the workplace, and it's also good for postgraduate studies: either be ruthless, endure, or quit!

If you feel the school or your teachers aren't doing a good job, but you like your major and you're determined, you should be able to do better than your mentor and achieve something. You have two options: either you endure it, or you quit. If you can't stand it, you either change mentors, change schools, or don't continue with your studies.

In any case, you're an adult now, so you need to take responsibility for your own actions and face the consequences.

2. Recently, my parents' health has been poor, and I haven't been able to work either, so I've been thinking about taking some time off school.

There are always ways to make money while studying for a master's degree. Don't use the heavy academic workload as an excuse. People with brains can study and make money at the same time.

I know people who sell secondhand books to make money for their younger fellow students. I also know people who make money tutoring.

There are also projects that can make money. If all else fails, you can study well and earn money with scholarships.

Don't be too rigid in your thinking. When you're open to different possibilities, it's easier to find solutions.

3. The exams are coming up soon, and I know I have to study hard, but I just don't want to learn. It's like I've lost the ability to learn. I haven't slept well for almost six months. When I go to sleep, I think about it, and I'm so anxious that I can't control myself. Sometimes I just want to cry.

If you need to cry, do it. It's okay. Not getting enough sleep for a long time can really impact you. I suggest combining exercise with rest, and if necessary, going to the school's psychological counseling room.

The main cause of exam anxiety is overthinking, a lack of action, and a desire to do well on the exam. You can improve your thinking by either not caring if you fail or by taking more action, which is always better than the current way of thinking.

When you're feeling overwhelmed, take a step back and do something else. Listen to music, meditate, or plan your life after graduation.

4. I'm feeling mentally drained and like I'm suffering. I'm tired every day.

The best way to avoid mental depletion is to stay busy. If you stay in school for too long, you'll get bored and start thinking too much. Use this free time to do some public welfare work, like volunteering at the community hospital with the community. That way, you won't deplete yourself so much.

You can find more information here. Thanks!

Hello there!

I totally get it. I really hope I can help you!

1. It's so important to understand the root cause of your current situation.

From what you've told me, I get the feeling that there are two main reasons why you're currently facing some challenges. The first is your personality and emotional patterns, which might have been shaped by your upbringing. It's possible that your personality traits are somewhat sensitive, a bit pessimistic, and that you have high standards for yourself. It's also possible that you lack a bit of self-confidence.

The second aspect might be the pressure of reality, upcoming exams, expectations from the family and parents, worries about the future, etc. There's also your sleep problem itself. Not sleeping well will affect your energy and mood for studying the next day, and it's so easy to get yourself into a vicious cycle!

2. Focus on your resources, my friend!

It's totally normal to have some pessimistic traits, but it's also good to recognize when you're being overly pessimistic. You've got this! You've already shown that you can succeed in a challenging program like the master's. And even though your supervisor wasn't paying much attention during your studies, you still managed to make the most of your time.

Make the most of these advantages and go for it! For instance, you could get a part-time job to earn money. This would be a great way to gain some social experience, reduce your financial dependence on your parents, broaden your horizons, and help you break out of your psychological limitations.

If you have time, I'd also really recommend doing more exercise to improve your positive emotions and sleep.

I just wanted to remind you that if you've been struggling with insomnia and anxiety for a while now, it can really take a toll on your mental health. If you're feeling really low and out of control, it's okay to reach out for help. You can always chat with a school psychologist or a professional counselor. They're there to support you and help you feel better.

3. Learn to reduce stress and internal friction. You've got this!

Stress itself isn't bad. It's the pressure that gives you motivation! But if you put too much pressure on yourself, you'll waste your energy. You can check whether you're asking too much of yourself. For example, we can't learn well if we don't love our profession very much. You can adjust your attitude to: "Since fate has made me choose this path, I will just go down it steadily. Even if I don't do very well and don't achieve much, it is still a way to make a living."

Or we might not be able to meet our parents' expectations and disappoint them. But don't worry! As long as we try our best, we can still achieve something and still be proud of ourselves.

Hey there! Just wanted to remind you that exams don't require you to get excellent grades. As long as you can pass and graduate, that's all that matters!

It's so important to give yourself a break! We all have to learn to reduce our stress levels. The road of life is a journey of trial and error. It's so easy to stress ourselves out and let ourselves stop moving forward. But it's so much better to try to let go of some things, move forward with a light load, do what we can, and accept the current situation and consequences.

4. Break the cycle and find a breakthrough for change!

It's totally normal to feel like you want to change the status quo, but sometimes it can feel like you're stuck in a negative cycle and can't find a way out.

It's amazing how a simple change can have such a big impact! A new routine, a chat with a good friend, a daily planner, or even just a good mood after a party can make all the difference. And the best part is, these small changes can happen again and again, giving us the chance to keep making progress. So, let's embrace them and enjoy the joy they bring!

I really hope that Hongyu's reply helps you! Thank you so much for asking!

Hello!

I'm Yi Ming, a heart exploration coach.

I applaud you for recognizing your problems and seeking help!

Many people have similar problems.

I'm happy to help. I hope this is helpful and inspiring.

1. Stop fighting with yourself.

You say, "Every day, I feel drained, I feel like I'm suffering, I'm tired." This is our internal struggle.

We have expectations of ourselves, and when reality doesn't match up, we are prone to conflict.

Two people are fighting inside you.

One says, "The exams are coming up. I need to study."

The other person says, "I don't want to study. I went to a school I didn't like, and I feel like grad school is pointless..."

This creates internal conflict.

Stop fighting with yourself.

Learn to calm down and focus on the present.

You want to study or live the way you want, but there are practical problems.

What do you do?

You've realized your current coping strategies aren't working. Try comforting and encouraging yourself instead of demanding so much of yourself.

Cry when you want to.

Don't try to control yourself.

Learn to recognize loss.

Try to understand yourself. You don't want to let your parents down, you want to be independent, and you can help them. But you're still in graduate school, which makes you feel bad.

Take time to calm down and take care of yourself.

Sometimes things don't turn out as we expect.

You will have conflicts.

If you don't want to learn, don't force yourself. Do something relaxing instead.

You will recover.

2. Accept yourself.

Many articles and books say it's important to accept yourself.

It's hard to accept yourself.

It's normal to have self-doubt.

Self-relationship is the root of life.

We must learn to adjust.

People can adjust, correct, and repair themselves.

If we don't accept ourselves, we lose this ability.

This can lead to pressure, which affects sleep.

Be understanding of yourself.

Is this course too much for you?

Have you thought about ways to deal with it instead of blaming yourself?

Imagine the worst and see if you can handle it.

Sometimes, we can calm ourselves by thinking about the worst.

Let our parents have expectations of us and high standards, but learn to comfort ourselves. Sometimes I just can't do it.

It's okay to be disappointed by others.

3. Focus on the present.

Everyone may feel stressed, powerless, and helpless when faced with difficult situations.

Do you have friends you can talk to?

Tell your parents about your worries.

Are you afraid of disappointing your parents?

When we show our vulnerability and seek help, things change.

It's okay if you can't talk to your parents about your problems.

Look at the present and see what you can do.

Don't push yourself too hard.

These states may be your subconscious.

This makes it harder to face the problem.

Try making small changes.

If you're not feeling well, rest and take care of yourself.

When you're feeling better, you can try studying again.

You might fail an exam and not graduate on time.

Don't worry. Just do your best.

It's easy to say, but hard to do.

You know your own problems best.

What do these states mean?

Life is full of possibilities.

Be your own best supporter.

Read the book If You Don't Fight Yourself, You'll Be Stronger.

Best wishes!

Academic pressure and dissatisfaction significantly impact the questioner's sleep. Feeling powerless and helpless makes people feel even more overwhelmed in the face of such impact.

I am confident that the following sharing will help you think more broadly about this issue.

I am confident that the following sharing will help you think more broadly about this issue.

1. Fight internal depletion with action and help yourself. I got out of the negative thoughts

I took the postgraduate entrance exam and enrolled in a school I didn't really like. I'm not interested in the master's degree I'm studying for either. My supervisor doesn't care about me, and I know the postgraduate degree is pointless. My parents' health has been bad recently, and I can't earn any money either, so at one point I wanted to drop out of school, but I didn't have the courage. I'm also a clinical student, and I know I can do better.

This passage from the original poster illustrates the process of mental attrition.

I was admitted to a school I don't really like, and I enrolled in a major that my advisor doesn't really care about.

I have no intention of going to graduate school. I am not going to drop out.

I feel helpless.

The result is poor sleep and feeling tired every day.

I am not going to learn.

The process of mental depletion is a vicious cycle. The questioner must break the entry point of mental depletion and start making adjustments from actions first.

If you don't want to study, start by studying something that interests you. Don't try to learn too much at once; start with the part of the exam that interests you most. You'll see that your mood improves, as will your physical response, with positive feedback.

2. Use cognitive dissonance to separate anxious thoughts from reality.

Second, cognitive disassociation is an effective method for separating anxious thoughts from reality.

One of the main reasons why sleep is difficult is because the mind keeps thinking before going to bed.

You can keep the brain from being so active in many ways, including through cognitive disassociation.

Cognitive disassociation is a technique that separates you from your thoughts, allowing you to distance yourself from the ideas your mind generates. This makes you and your thoughts more objective and less likely to react automatically.

I will share one common method for your reference, as there are many specific methods.

Picture a TV show that's constantly providing information or a video of a specific YouTuber playing taekwondo.

Text messages will appear continuously at the bottom of the TV screen or on the page of the host, just like various pop-ups. These messages are your troubled thoughts related to insomnia, such as "I'm so useless" and "If I don't study again, I'll fail the exam." At the same time, a program different from the text is also playing on the screen. This program can be the weather forecast, a football match, etc. It can be any program that you are familiar with from real life.

You are an outsider, staring at the program and these words that flow constantly.

3. You should consult with a counselor about your career and academic planning to help you figure out your direction.

The questioner is clearly under a lot of pressure, caught in a whirlpool of helpless thoughts. Find a counselor with the appropriate background to help you at this time and you'll gain a more systematic and comprehensive perspective.

I am confident that the above sharing will inspire you.

I am confident that the above sharing will inspire you.

I am a psychologist who focuses on the human heart, not human nature. I wish you well.

Hello!

Take a moment to recognize and embrace your feelings of anxiety and fatigue.

"I know I need to study hard, but I never want to learn" – it's so interesting how sometimes our bodies rebel against what we're trying to do.

It's so important to be kind to ourselves and listen to our hearts.

"There's no point in going to graduate school" and "getting into a school I don't really like"—success in postgraduate entrance exams is also another wave of competitive pressure after experiencing the gaokao. It's totally understandable that the questioner seems to be very frustrated in the face of this apparent success.

You might already have figured out the root of the problem: you're not doing what you enjoy.

And then there's that wonderful feeling of wanting to do well for your parents that pops up in your writing from time to time. Not wanting to let your parents down is a great intention to have as a child.

But remember, the person responsible for your own life is yourself, not your parents. When you do things for their sake, it can make you feel like you're missing out on something. It's totally normal to want to find yourself and your true self, but it can also make you feel frustrated.

In "Love in the Mountains and Seas," poor Li Shuihua was betrayed by her father and married. She and her husband got along well, but she never expected her husband to become disabled in an accident. She took on the responsibility of the family alone, growing bospore mushrooms and following the route to rural wealth.

People ask her what her plans are for her sweet daughter.

With a warm smile, she replied, "Let her do whatever she wants to do. I'm always here to support her."

The poverty and disasters that once seemed like the end of the world didn't defeat her. In fact, they didn't defeat her at all! She was so full of optimism that she passed that on to her children. This kind of inheritance can touch the lives of many more people.

In "The Blind Side," the wonderful Mrs. Anne took in a big, strong black man and inspired his potential for rugby. This "son" was admitted to college and received a scholarship. Mrs. Anne pondered for a while: Is this what he really wants, or what I want to give him?

Later on, they had a long chat. The young man said, "I choose what I like. Will you support me?" And of course, Ms. Annie nodded.

And guess what? His final choice was rugby, which was totally in line with Ms. Annie's expectations!

The most important thing is that, in the process, the choice is completely in the hands of the "son."

"Clinical student," I would absolutely love to hear the story behind your choice of clinical. We all have our own unique journey of growth and discovery.

The popular Hong Kong drama "Healing Hands" from the end of the 20th century shows the dilemma and helplessness of medical workers, who are also unable to heal themselves. We're all human, and nobody's perfect!

A gap can be a weakness that lets hurt in, but it can also be a doorway to light. So, the key to solving a problem is how you perceive the gap.

Take a moment to really feel what you're carrying on your back, what's holding you back. You can give yourself a more confident and beautiful answer to the question of how to deal with those constraints.

Hello, dear question asker!

Hi, I'm Xiaobai! I'm here to tell you that you don't need to worry, and I'm happy to help you get rid of yours!

Let's take a closer look at the questioner's situation and see if we can figure out what's going on.

I'm really struggling with my sleep, I'm super stressed and I'm feeling pretty unhappy all the time. How can I make some changes?

I'm about to take an exam, and I know I need to study hard, but I just don't want to learn. It's like I've lost the ability to learn. I haven't slept well for the past six months. When I go to sleep, I think about it all the time, and I get so anxious that I can't control myself. Sometimes I just want to cry. I applied to graduate school and got into a school I didn't really like, and I'm studying for a master's degree in a field I don't really like either. My advisor doesn't really care about me, and I feel like graduate school is pointless. My parents aren't feeling well lately, and I can't earn any money, so at one point I wanted to drop out of school, but I didn't have the courage.

I'm also a clinical student, and I totally get it. I feel so powerless, too. I'm afraid of disappointing my parents, but I really feel that I'm mentally exhausted every day. I feel like I'm living a painful life, tired every day.

First, I'll give you a big hug from afar! When I think back to my school days, I also had the experience of "knowing that I need to study hard, but never wanting to learn." When I was a student, I also often had trouble sleeping. Every day, I would go to bed at 2 or 3 o'clock in the morning and wake up at 8 o'clock. Staying up late and not getting enough sleep is something that many people experience, so don't worry too much!

I know how it is! You can try doing this to help you sleep better.

I know it can be tough, but try to reduce stress, distract yourself, exercise moderately, participate in recreational activities, and do aerobic exercise. I can relate to this, and I promise you it really works!

Once you've finished your workout, you'll probably feel pretty tired, so it's a great idea to get some rest!

It's so important to exercise for at least 30 minutes every day! Not only does it give you a wonderful sense of euphoria, but it also helps you feel more energized and ready to take on the world.

It's also a great idea to focus on improving your own rest and work schedule. Try to go to bed on time, get enough sleep, and avoid taking long naps during the day.

Take it easy, work hard, rest, and eat right, but don't overdo it. It's also a good idea to learn how to express your emotions in a healthy way. Try playing musical instruments, chess, painting, calligraphy, sports, or other activities that help you express your emotions in a positive way.

If your parents are not in good health and you are not earning an income, as their children, we will worry no matter what we say. We're here to tell you that dropping out of school is not a good idea. You should turn it into motivation to constantly improve yourself. Studying medicine is hard and the road is long, but you must persevere. You can do it!

Many parents work really hard to send their children to school. They don't ask for anything in return, they just hope that their kids will have more and better options in the future and won't have to work as hard as they did.

You still have to work hard and persevere, but don't worry! If you can't study anymore, just take a break and get yourself back in shape. It's okay, everyone gets lost sometimes. Take a deep breath and think about it. Set a goal, preferably a detailed one, and then work towards it every day. And when you've achieved it, treat yourself!

For example, treat yourself to a nice meal and some milk tea.

We all have a hard time sometimes, but we must still look up at the stars. As we grow older, we take on more responsibility.

But don't worry, just hang in there, keep moving forward, and make a little progress every day. There will be a day when everything is bright!

In a nutshell, I'd love to share some thoughts and ideas that I hope will be helpful.

Hello! I'm Xiaobai, and I'm sending you all my love and positive vibes! ? I'm totally at peace with the world, and I'm sending all my love back to you! ?

Wishing you all the best!