Hello, question asker! I'm Evan, and I'm here to help.
From what the author has shared, it seems like they're really worried that their past actions might be found out by the person they're currently in love with. It's understandable! We all have past experiences that we're not proud of, and it's natural to feel guilty about them when we're in a relationship. These negative emotions can really take a toll on our mental health, and it's no surprise that the author is feeling anxious.
I truly believe that the bond between two people should be valued above all else. It's so important to genuinely like and get along with each other.
When we value something or a relationship, it's only natural that we don't want to lose it. The questioner is in this situation, and it's totally understandable. When we're faced with a sincere and rare relationship, it's important to cherish it and be grateful. And of course, you deserve it!
The answerer has given the questioner lots of great advice, and it'd be a good idea to check out which tips fit best with what the questioner is looking for. But, if a relationship starts with deception, it might end up being treated the same way in the future.
How should the questioner face his fiancée and his past? It can be tough to have an effective discussion on the platform. I can only give the questioner some simple advice on her anxiety:
It would be really helpful for you to find out what's causing your anxiety.
I'd love to help you figure out what's making you feel anxious. Is it the worry about the future of the marriage, or the guilt about past mistakes?
This means that the questioner needs to take a deep breath and think carefully about what might be making them feel this way. It can be really helpful to write things down so that you can look at them later.
It would be really helpful for the questioner to find out what makes them feel negative emotions and figure out what the root cause of the negative emotions is. For example, it might be that the questioner feels that they have given up on themselves in the past due to a wrong concept and have done things that they regret.
The questioner is even worried that their video will be secretly filmed and posted online for others to enjoy, and that their fiancé will find it. From the questioner's own account, these thoughts are more based on the questioner's own speculation. Why is this so? It's okay to ask these questions! It's possible that the questioner feels that they are imperfect because they have done something wrong in the past, and are afraid that what happened in the past has destroyed the intimate relationship that the questioner values now.
It's totally understandable to feel anxious when you think your fiancée might find out about your past and that the good times will be gone forever. But it's only by figuring out the source of your negative emotions that you can respond to your concerns.
It's so important to try to face your own problems.
Once you've taken the time to understand where your negative emotions are coming from, it's time to cheer yourself up and see if you can face or deal with this problem. Let's take the example of the questioner who feels that his past indulgences have been revealed by his fiancé, which will have serious consequences. Has the questioner thought about these consequences?
Can you face it alone? It's totally understandable to feel anxious if you've never faced something beautiful before.
It's totally normal to feel a bit scared when you have to face the possibility of losing something you really value. These emotions can be pretty powerful and affect us at all times, making us feel fearful.
When you're feeling down, try not to dwell on your negative emotions. Instead, focus on the positive! With time, you'll get used to it and your mindset will change.
Let's make a list of the worst possible outcomes.
Now, think about the worst possible outcome, and also think about the worst possible outcome for you. Write them both down, and then think about whether you have any strategies for dealing with them, or whether you just can't accept them.
It's totally normal to worry about this and that and feel a bit down or anxious. But it's really helpful to write down these worst-case scenarios and come up with a plan of action. For example, what will your fiancé do when he finds out about your past? When it actually happens, you'll be able to respond according to the plan, so the anxiety won't be as bad.
It's so important to remember that there are always more ways than there are difficulties. Our ancestors always said that it's wise to discover the problems around you early and be prepared for the future. Sometimes, taking the initiative, the question owner can appropriately communicate with his fiancée when he is happy. How many relationships has the husband been in? How many relationships has the question owner been in? And deepen these topics to understand each other. Because if he rejects the question owner just because she is not a virgin, then does the fiancée love that layer of skin or the real her?
It's also important for the original poster to think about it carefully.
Let's stop those negative thoughts!
When you understand where your negative thoughts come from, cheer yourself up and overcome them! For example, when you wake up in the morning and you feel that it will be a bad morning, after you have noticed your negative thoughts, you should say to yourself that the morning doesn't feel very good, but it will get better after the morning, so as to maintain your positive attitude. You've got this!
When you're faced with negative thoughts, try not to dwell on them or speak them out loud. Instead, say something positive! If you do this for a long time, you'll get used to it and your state of mind will change. So, if the questioner is a woman with a fragrant soul, will she still be able to encounter the love she wants?
When you're ready, you can face your past self with courage and strength. It's a wonderful way to grow and become more fearless! Remember, you don't have to live in the past. You are a new, improved version of yourself today!
And remember, every day is a new day to greet with a smile and a positive attitude!
Every day, greet the day with a smile and a positive attitude! When you wake up in the morning, take a moment to think of five happy things first.
These happy things can be some little things in life that make you smile, like listening to a lovely song, watching a great movie, enjoying a nice cup of tea, or buying something you wanted yesterday. Think about these things and say them out loud, and they'll help you greet the new day with a smile!
A positive mindset is the perfect way to start a new day! It'll make it much harder for negative emotions to take root. You might feel a bit silly saying positive things out loud, but studies have shown that saying positive things out loud makes you believe in what you're saying even more!
This will make you happier, more focused, and help you avoid having too many negative thoughts.
If you need a little extra support, don't hesitate to reach out for some outside help.
If you feel that the above approach isn't right for you, it's okay! You can always seek help from a professional psychologist or counselor for psychological intervention. Just describe your negative emotions to them. You can talk about them openly and honestly, because these interventions are confidential.
Please explain clearly how these negative emotions make you feel, describe how these emotions generally strike, and tell us how you respond. If you need to, we can keep in touch with these professionals until these negative emotions no longer affect you.
I really hope my answer can help the questioner!
Comments
I can't imagine how painful and complex this situation must be for you. It's important to seek professional help, like a therapist who can provide support and coping strategies for your anxiety and fears.
It sounds like you're carrying an immense burden of guilt and fear. Sometimes sharing your truth with someone who loves you can be liberating. Your partner might surprise you with his understanding and compassion if you choose to confide in him.
The fear of being exposed is haunting you, but focusing on the present and what you can control might help. Consider speaking to a counselor who specializes in trauma; they can offer guidance tailored to your experience.
Every day is a new opportunity to rewrite your story. Reaching out for professional assistance could be a step towards healing. Remember, it's okay to ask for help when you're feeling overwhelmed by these thoughts and emotions.
You've been through something very distressing, and it's affecting your mental health significantly. A mental health professional can give you tools to manage your anxiety and insomnia, and possibly help you decide whether or not to disclose this to your fiancé.