I think a lot, but I don't do much. I don't know what to do, and I'm annoyed with myself.

Hello, I'd like to offer you a hug. From your description, I can understand your distress and confusion, and I can also feel your desire to change the situation. I hope that my analysis can answer your questions to some extent.

Regarding the questioner's situation, it seems there are a few underlying factors. These include fantasy, anxiety, and a sense of powerlessness. It's possible that the questioner is experiencing a lot of stress recently, which might be helpful to acknowledge. It might be beneficial to gradually shift the focus of one's life back to oneself, and to pay attention to one's own feelings.

You might find it helpful to try relaxing by meditating, going to bed early and getting up early, and exercising appropriately. When your sleep quality improves, you may find that you gradually calm down and relax.

I hope I've provided some helpful insights.

Let's work together to find a solution to the current situation.

First, you are a thoughtful person and very smart. As for not wanting to take action now, it might be because you have encountered some problem that has left you with no energy and you want to rest.

Secondly, you are a sensible person who is aware of how to give and think of others, and you are aware of what you should do.

3. It might be helpful to try to identify which thoughts are important and which are not, and then focus your attention on the latter.

4. I'm not sure of your age, but I believe you're approaching adulthood.

Overall, it seems that you are currently experiencing some challenges in maintaining a sense of inner peace and clarity. It's understandable that you're facing some anxiety about your thoughts and feelings, and it's natural to have mixed feelings about taking action. However, it's important to recognize that while having a heart for something is admirable, it's also essential to have the strength to turn those feelings into tangible actions.

If I might make one more suggestion, let's try to find a way.

1. It might be helpful to release all the pressure and all the thoughts. You might find it beneficial to separate the main from the secondary, and put aside what you can't think about.

2. You may find it helpful to set small goals one by one and complete them one by one to demonstrate the effectiveness and motivation of your actions.

It may be helpful to consider that people who are fit and active tend to feel healthier and more energized. This could potentially lead to a greater sense of motivation to take action.

4. It would be beneficial to continue studying, reading more, and striving for personal growth throughout one's life.

I hope you find these suggestions helpful. With best wishes, Consultant Liu Qi

My name is Gu Yi, and I am modest and unassuming. I am also consistent in my actions and beliefs.

It would be beneficial to investigate the underlying reasons for the desire to do more and less.

In the pursuit of livelihood, individuals are often constrained by the necessity of financial gain. In the absence of a clear internal motivation and the capacity to derive enjoyment from the pursuit, ideas may remain merely conceptual, and actions may be undermined.

It would be beneficial to attempt to establish a correlation between one's beliefs and actions, contemplating this relationship in order to ascertain one's genuine aspirations.

You express a desire to undertake more activities but find yourself engaging in fewer. From your description, it is evident that your sense of rhythm in life is markedly deficient, and you frequently perceive yourself as being pursued by the demands of life. This experience is particularly distressing, and as a result, you are unable to identify effective strategies for experiencing the joy of doing something.

The following are a few suggestions for potential change:

It would be beneficial to create a practical plan for oneself. One can list the tasks they wish to complete and then select a few essential items from the list, according to their current circumstances. This approach can be highly advantageous.

It is important to identify one's own rhythm in life. From a personal perspective, eating is an activity that is undertaken alone. However, from a family perspective, it is a shared experience involving multiple individuals. Consequently, when forced to engage in this activity, it can often be a source of stress and unhappiness. Therefore, it is beneficial to strive towards finding one's own rhythm in life, allowing for gradual adaptation and minor adjustments.

It would be beneficial to learn to identify sources of pleasure in one's activities. Additionally, it is important to consider the process as well as the outcome when evaluating the value of an activity.

The discovery of joy in one's actions can facilitate greater engagement, which in turn enhances the experience of enjoyment and fosters a more nuanced understanding of the activity in question.

Sincerely,

Hello, question owner!

We all have so much potential! We can do so much, but we often find ourselves thinking more and doing less. We always want to do a little something, but in the end, we're unable to muster the actual ability to act. This situation may be that we have some procrastination. We sometimes feel like doing something, but in the end, we're too lazy to do anything.

This also shows that we have a certain ability to perceive ourselves, so in this situation, we get to see why we can't muster the motivation to act and why this situation suddenly occurred.

Now, let's dive in and see how we can solve this together!

[1] Get those thoughts out of your head and go do what you want to do!

In this situation, we see that we are thinking too much. So, let's stop the thinking process and immediately implement our actions! Then, we'll think less and procrastinate less, which is great for the things we want to do.

[2] Prioritize and get things done!

See which one is more important, go and do it first, then think about what needs to be done next. Distinguish between what is important and urgent, and do it immediately, without thinking too much. This will greatly reduce the time we spend on idle thoughts, freeing up more time for the things you really want to do!

[3] Learn to adjust your state of mind and get excited about it!

For example, if we want to do something but don't get around to it, we shouldn't blame ourselves. It may be because we are lazy or for some other reason, and everyone has this inertia, which is normal. The good news is that we can overcome it! Maintain a positive attitude, and if you feel it's not too late to get started, you can do it now.

[4] Focus on doing one thing!

In this situation, we should focus our energy on one thing at a time. Let's not get distracted by other things and let our imagination run wild. As long as we focus our energy on completing the task at hand, we will most likely get it done!

Finally, don't procrastinate! Don't stop those useless thoughts when you see that you're thinking too much. Just do what comes to mind and do it with focus. You'll most likely do a very good job!

I really hope the above advice is helpful to you!

Hello, question asker.

From what you've said, I get the feeling that you feel really powerless. You open your eyes in the morning thinking you're going to start the day feeling motivated and full of hope, but then you realise you haven't done much at all and you start to feel anxious and worried. I can imagine that's a pretty uncomfortable feeling.

If I could meet you in person, I'd love to hear more about how you're feeling. Given the limitations of written communication, I'd like to focus on three key areas:

From what you've said, it seems like you're experiencing a range of emotions.

Morning: Hopeful, emotional Noon: Anxious, panicky, fearful

We don't know what happens next, but I think you'll probably spend the day feeling guilty and uneasy, and then tomorrow you'll start the cycle again.

Second, it's obvious you don't want to do these things. Maybe you're just really tired and feeling drained.

When you feel panicked and afraid, it's because you realize you haven't prepared lunch for your family. Your family's response is to scold you. It seems like the things you need to do are for your family or for other people, like making lunch.

Are these things you really want to do? Or do you feel like you just "should" do them?

If it's the former, I think you'll enjoy the process of doing things. Maybe looking at the green vegetables, you'll feel relaxed and wonderful. If these things are just out of "should," I think you may feel a sense of "forced," just because of your own responsibility or obligation, you "have to" do these things. Maybe seeing these vegetables and meat annoys you, and maybe the underlying voice is "again, I have to cook?"

"Why should I do all this?"

The third thing to know is that the Transactional Analysis (TA) school of communication analysis I studied has a concept of "psychological position." When you start blaming yourself for not doing things, it seems like you're in the psychological position of "I am bad."

Think about it. You must have your own strengths. So why are you thinking negative thoughts like "I didn't do anything good," "I didn't make lunch again today, and I was scolded by my family again," and so on? Do these thoughts have a source?

What are the possibilities here? These are all worth thinking about and working on in depth.

The above interpretations are based only on what you've said, and since there's been no further interaction, they might not be totally accurate. If the basic direction is on the right track, I think some suggestions might be helpful.

1. Think carefully about the emotional cycle and find a breakthrough. For example, when you start to get annoyed because your family scolded you for not preparing lunch, stop for five minutes and experience your annoyance.

Are you still annoyed that you didn't do something good? If you're annoyed at your family, is that what you're feeling right now?

If you're annoyed with yourself, the first thing to do is give yourself permission. You can find more details in the following article.

2. Give yourself permission to stop being annoyed and self-critical. Repeat to yourself, "I can stop being annoyed and self-critical."

3. Once you've got a handle on your emotions, go back to the thinking level and streamline your plans for tomorrow. Pick one simple thing to do, like preparing a new lunch dish tomorrow.

4. When you're putting together a plan of action, it's a great idea to include something that's just for your own enjoyment. This could be brewing a cup of tea tomorrow, listening to a song for five minutes tomorrow, or picking out a new outfit for yourself tomorrow.

Finally, remember that when you're tired, you have the right to rest and enjoy yourself. Don't let the messages that tell you not to enjoy yourself (there are twelve of these in the TA genre) stop you. Looking after yourself is not selfish; it's our birthright as human beings.

I'm Wang Xuejing, your counselor. I'll be following your progress and I'm happy to help you with anything you need.

Hello, I am Xin Tan, Coach Fei Yun.

Feel the anxiety/22-year-old-female-the-position-im-sitting-in-is-making-me-uncomfortable-how-should-i-handle-the-conflict-23730.html" target="_blank">conflict between wanting to do something and not doing it. At first, you have a desire to do it, and your mind is full of ideas and motivation. However, as time goes by, your willingness to do it gradually decreases, and you become so lost in thought that time just passes by.

The mind is full of self-reproach and guilt as a result. Let's take a look at the problems that trouble you and the solutions.

1. Look for signs of procrastination.

Your text is not long, but it is rich and full of emotions: confusion, self-blame, anxiety, panic, irritability, and guilt.

In today's society, people are under a lot of pressure. Anxiety is the norm. It consumes our energy, preventing us from taking action.

Take action. That's the best way to deal with anxiety. Athletes are nervous but not anxious, while the audience is full of anxiety.

Take note of whether you are using procrastination as a means of resisting your anxiety and protecting yourself by avoiding action.

Procrastination is an excuse for rationalization in the brain. It's hypocrisy, a permanent resistance to freedom, a sense of powerlessness, and a contradictory state of wanting to do something but not doing it.

There are many reasons for procrastination. Find the reason and solve it. The reasons are many: fear of failure, the pursuit of perfection, rebellion against authority, overdependence, lack of energy, etc.

2. Internal conflict prevents you from being at peace in the present moment.

It doesn't matter whether you do something or not. As long as you can accept it calmly, there will be no pain. What happened was that you wanted to do it but didn't, and in the end you couldn't accept the result.

This is a form of internal depletion, akin to a tap that is not properly closed, constantly depleting your energy. Given the finite nature of human energy, it is inevitable that you will be unable to do other important things.

Don't feel remorseful or blame yourself for what has happened. Take the initiative and shoulder your own share of the responsibility.

Shift your focus from the frustration and regrets of the past to the hope and motivation of the present and the future.

Wake up and meditate. Focus on your breathing and clear your mind. Stay in a state of wakefulness.

Then, write down the things you need to do today, prioritizing them according to urgency and importance. You will develop the habit of having a plan for everything, taking action based on the plan, and seeing results.

It's easy to lose focus when you're distracted. Dear you, Has something happened recently that has made it difficult for you to pay attention to yourself?

You will find motivation to do things if you enhance your sense of inner value.

I am confident that the above will be helpful to you. The world and I love you. ?

If you want to continue the conversation, click "Find a Heart Exploration Coach" in the lower right corner to chat.

Dear Sir/Madam, I hope my answer will be of some assistance to you.

First and foremost, refrain from self-blame, self-denial, or self-attack. Such actions will only exacerbate your negative feelings and internal conflict. It requires significant courage to seek solutions and reflect on one's life and actions.

I am confident that with some adjustments, we can improve our overall well-being, achieve our goals, and cultivate greater peace and satisfaction with ourselves.

I advise you to:

Please review your activities from the past half-day and identify where your time has been allocated.

You inquire as to why you have not prepared a meal for the family by noon. You have not completed any tasks today, and half the day is already gone. What have we done with this half a day?

It is recommended that you record the sequence of events from your waking hours to noon in the current day on a piece of paper. This will assist you in identifying which tasks can be completed without, and which are essential. If you must delete some tasks, which ones can you delete? If you must keep some tasks, which ones will you keep?

Once you have completed this review, you will be able to identify your priorities for the following day and determine which tasks are non-essential. You can then prioritize your tasks and make choices under time pressure, deciding which ones to do first, which ones to do next, and which ones you can skip.

2. Are the tasks you have assigned yourself reasonable and within your capabilities?

Sometimes, individuals avoid tasks because they have set themselves too many challenging tasks. For instance, if an individual sets the task of reading a book in the morning, it is obviously too difficult. It would be more appropriate to set the task of reading 20 pages.

The reason for this is that psychological research indicates that only moderately difficult goals can provide the optimal level of internal motivation.

If the objective is too challenging or too straightforward, motivation will be lacking. It is therefore important to ensure that the goal set is realistic.

Is it feasible to achieve this through your own efforts? Is it a goal that you can attain if you "jump"?

If the objectives set are not realistic, it is necessary to modify them. If they are excessively challenging, it is advisable to break them down into smaller, more manageable steps. This approach will encourage action and facilitate the attainment of the desired outcomes.

3. There are methods to assist in the organization of your daily routine, enabling the completion of tasks in an efficient manner.

I create a daily task list each day. This is an effective tool that allows me to identify my daily responsibilities. Once completed, I can cross off the completed tasks, freeing up mental space for other, unfinished tasks.

Additionally, you can create a daily task list. Based on your abilities, you can categorize the tasks as either daily or mandatory. As you complete a task, you can mark it as complete and indicate a fixed time for the next task. This approach can also help you manage your time effectively and maintain a sense of order in your daily routine.

Furthermore, the Pomodoro technique can be employed to manage time effectively. This method helps to enhance concentration, improve efficiency, and is straightforward to implement. It enables individuals to focus on task completion, minimise distractions, and schedule breaks in a structured manner.

A typical Pomodoro session lasts 25 minutes, during which time you should focus on the task at hand. After 25 minutes, a five-minute break begins, followed by a longer break of 20 minutes after every four Pomodoro sessions. This alternating cycle of work and rest allows you to work or study more efficiently and healthily.

For further information, please refer to the relevant documentation.

Please find the above information for your reference. Best regards,

Hello!

From your description, I can see you blame yourself and expect change. When you become aware of this and look for a breakthrough, you are already changing.

When did this start? What happened?

How can you get out of this situation?

You get up in the morning excited to do things, but lose interest as the day goes on. Before you know it, time has passed and you haven't done anything. You've been irritated by your family, which makes you feel uncomfortable. Is that right?

From your description, I'm worried that you may have a slight tendency towards depression. I also feel this way sometimes, but we all have tendencies because we are constantly trying to find a breakthrough.

I don't know your situation, but I'd like to give you some advice.

First, see a counselor.

Life is stressful, and it's normal to have negative emotions or a tendency towards anxiety and depression. When we realize this, we should seek help from professional counselors. They can help us understand the root of the problem and create a supportive environment for growth and change.

You can also take a psychology course to help yourself.

Be more aware and clarify more.

Know why you feel a certain way, how it affects you, and what you want. When you know these things, you'll have direction and be able to maintain and strive for it.

Then, accept yourself and relax.

We are all unique. We don't do it on purpose. We need to accept and embrace ourselves, and let go of tension. When we are relaxed, we can do things better and become more confident. What do you think?

Think less and do more.

I have similar feelings and experiences to yours. I have always studied psychology, struggling to find my breakthrough. When I was learning hypnosis, I failed because I was thinking too much. We should focus on ourselves and enjoy the process. That kind of focused process may also be a small step forward for us.

It's okay. When you have time to talk about your illness, it means you're on the road to recovery. When we become aware of something and feel reluctant, that's when change begins. If you are willing, we will get better.

The questioner feels like they're at the mercy of circumstances.

You can't decide what you want to do or where you want to do it. For example, if you don't prepare food for your family at noon, you will be scolded.

If you don't want to cook lunch, don't. Enjoy the day! It's the first day of the year!

There are many reasons to do what you want.

The questioner thinks a lot but does very little. There are two reasons for this. One is personal. The other is that what you want to do is not allowed by your surroundings or you feel you cannot do it all at the same time.

You're hesitant to act, even though you have an idea. What will happen if you do?

These two reasons may require a case-by-case analysis. The questioner can first write down what they want to do and then look at why they haven't done it. Are there any solutions?

If not, put it aside for now and do it when you can. Do the things you can do now first. Boost your sense of control and confidence.

I hope my reply was helpful. Best wishes!

Happy New Year, question asker! I have carefully read your question and I'm excited to help. You feel annoyed that you think a lot but don't take any practical action, and it makes you feel a bit down.

I really hope these exchanges will be helpful to you!

First, if this situation only happens occasionally, please don't be too hard on yourself. It's totally normal to get tired and want to relax and rest. It's okay to rest when you're tired, and you'll have the energy to do what you need to do when you're rested!

Second, if it's been going on for a while, it seems that your mental energy has been a bit low recently and your mood is relatively low. You can do something about it! Look at what has happened recently that has affected your mood and then make some positive changes.

Or, you can talk to a good friend in your life and get some thoughts out of your mind. After a good chat, your mind will be clearer, your mood will be better, and your enthusiasm for doing things will be mobilized—it's a win-win!

Third, you should definitely ask a question on Yi Xin Li! It's a great way to get some well-deserved praise. Being aware of a problem is the first step to solving it, so don't be afraid to ask!

Fourth, there are so many things we want to do, but we can only do one thing at a time. I suggest that you list the things you need to do every day in order of priority, and then remind yourself to do them in that order. This is a great way to make sure you get everything done!

And the best part is, when you complete a task, you get a pat on the back, encouragement, and even a small treat as a reward! It makes you feel valuable and accomplished.

In short, it's totally normal to feel down sometimes. Don't worry about it! Happy New Year!

Wishing you all the best!

It is understandable that you wish to undertake more tasks yourself or for your family. Your desire to be a dutiful and considerate child is commendable.

Let us return to the topic of your distress and somber demeanor and attempt to resolve it.

You have indicated that you engage in a significant amount of reflection but exhibit a lack of action, which results in feelings of frustration.

Many individuals report a similar experience: they intend to accomplish several tasks on a given day but are unable to determine a suitable starting point. After considerable deliberation, they become overwhelmed and time elapses. It may be more beneficial to prioritize the most urgent and essential tasks or those that pose the greatest challenge initially. This approach can provide a sense of relief and accomplishment upon completion.

A sense of relaxation and accomplishment facilitates the completion of subsequent tasks, thereby conferring a net benefit. Furthermore, individuals possess limited time and energy, necessitating the prudent organization of tasks and time management to prevent exhaustion.

2. The subject provided an illustrative example, stating, "At the designated meal time, I neglected to prepare the scheduled meal for my family once again, and it was the same meal as the previous day. I was met with further reprimand from my family, which caused me to experience feelings of panic, fear, and irritation. Half a day has elapsed, and I find myself in a state of emotional distress once more."

The aforementioned section of the message is somewhat ambiguous. It would be beneficial to ascertain whether the family members in question have reached a consensus regarding the division of labor, specifically whether you are responsible for cooking while the others perform other tasks. It is imperative that family members collaborate and assume responsibility for their respective roles in maintaining the household. The younger members of the family, in particular, should be encouraged to take on a greater share of the domestic responsibilities.

However, your account indicates that your family reprimanded you for failing to prepare a new lunch due to your lack of preparation. You did not intentionally refuse to do so, yet you already feel culpable. It would be more beneficial for your family to understand that you did not intend to fail to prepare the lunch and that you would be more willing to do so if you were to prepare it together. It would be unproductive and counterproductive to escalate the conflict and resort to scolding as a means of resolving it. Furthermore, scolding will not solve the problem; it will only cause further harm and damage the relationship between you. You have worked hard!

It is unnecessary to experience distress, negative affect, or self-blame. It is a normal human tendency to forget things on occasion. In the future, it would be beneficial to utilize a sticky note or a mobile phone alarm to avoid such occurrences.

Should you remain uncertain or aggrieved, you are encouraged to voice your concerns. Best wishes.

Hello!

Hug you! First of all, give a thumbs-up to the brave face of their own negative emotions. In our daily lives, what invades and consumes our inner resources and energy is something that seems ordinary. Some people turn on a negative defense mechanism, such as denial or ignoring. Others choose to improve themselves to solve the troubles they encounter.

If you think too much, your motivation slows down, and I feel irritable. You need to do something about it.

When I wake up in the morning, I feel refreshed and ready to take on the day. As the day goes on, I may feel a little less enthusiastic, but I'm still good. At lunch, I didn't prepare anything for my family to eat. Was it the same meal as yesterday? I was scolded by my family again. At this point, I feel panic and fear. How is it almost noon?

I haven't cooked for my family yet, and I'm annoyed with myself. I haven't done anything today, and half the day is already gone. Thinking about it makes me feel heavy again.

From the description, it is clear that on a beautiful morning, the questioner, full of energy, initially plans to devote more energy to labor as a reward for the day. However, the brain focuses on the negative information, which makes him exhausted before he even starts working. It is obvious that negative emotions increase, his state becomes unstable, and it is difficult for him to focus on the task at hand.

There's no need to rush. This is a normal situation. The early morning and bedtime are the least distracting times of the day, while the daytime is flooded with complex information that we must process. Emotions are affected by changes in the environment. If a person is highly sensitive, their environment stimulates them strongly, and their emotions fluctuate, making it difficult to concentrate.

Let's analyze together how to digest emotions when negative feelings increase in life so that they do not affect us.

It is crucial to understand that regardless of whether our initial emotions are stable and positive, environmental factors can still influence our emotions to a certain extent. This demonstrates the importance of maintaining concentration and focusing on the task at hand, as thoughts can easily be interrupted. To ensure progress, we must develop the ability to eliminate distractions and maintain focus.

Factory workers engaged in assembly line work consume fewer mental resources than white-collar workers. This is not because assembly line workers are more efficient than white-collar workers. It is because their work requirements and work habits over the years have made it clear that maintaining focus is the guarantee of a day's output. White-collar work requires more time to think, so it consumes more mental resources. This makes execution relatively slow.

Second, the brain is a massive information transmission system that operates automatically. We must learn to suppress our attention to negative information.

Our brains are always active, whether we are aware of it or not. This is called the DMN in psychology.

For example, if you feel anxious all the time even though it seems like you're doing nothing, it's likely that our brains are more active than we think, focusing on things that make us feel anxious and worrying about the future.

Reducing worries and focusing on the present is an effective way to reduce the active energy of the DMN and anxiety.

The questioner should listen to soothing music to unblock their emotions first if they want to start the day efficiently. When the brain has had enough time to rest and unwind, it will be better able to maintain focus, less likely to be disturbed by other negative external factors, and less likely to be affected by emotions, which will in turn reduce feelings of anxiety.

You must also organize the workload for the first half of the day in advance. Do not increase the workload too much at the beginning, as this will increase inner pressure. By maintaining focus with mindfulness, you can better control the rhythm of work and will not be disturbed by negative inner voices.

From the questioner's description, it's clear that the family atmosphere is causing them to have difficulty focusing on the present. This is also the reason why they are easily distracted. The solution is simple: change the space and mood, then devote yourself to the task at hand. This will help them get twice the result with half the effort.

You've got this! Stay strong!

Hello! I'm Qu Huidong, a psychological counselor who loves using imagery to communicate.

After reading your question, I'm excited to learn more about your situation! How long has this been going on? Do you feel better in the morning than you did at night?

It's totally normal for your mood to shift a bit in the afternoon, and it's a great opportunity to learn more about depressive states. It might be helpful to pay attention to your emotions, and you'll be amazed at how much better you feel when you do!

It's not that you're lazy, it's that your emotions are holding you back! When you can start thinking more and doing less, you'll be amazed at how much you can achieve.

I don't know your age, gender, or employment status, but I'm excited to learn more about you! When you say that your family will scold you for not preparing lunch, I'm curious to know more about why this must be done by you. Of course, even if I knew your age, gender, and employment status, I think that housework should be shared by the whole family, which is a great way to build a strong family bond!

I can also see your guilt when you fail to do things. What an amazing opportunity for you to recognize that this is not your responsibility!

At least there are leftovers from yesterday's meal at home, and even if there isn't, you can order takeout! The great news is that everyone can actually take care of themselves.

Guess what? You need to take care of your emotions!

Once you learn to take care of your emotions, you can accept the part of yourself that is currently powerless or lacking in vitality and freely experience spontaneous emotions! If you're interested, I highly recommend seeking psychological counseling. It can help you adjust your cognition, improve your way of dealing with emotions, not deliberately avoid painful or uneasy emotions, and reconnect with the part of yourself that has lost itself.

I wish you the happiest of new years!