I was broken up twice by two people for the same reason. Now I'm anxious. Am I that bad?

Hello, questioner!

Guess what! You were broken up with by two guys for the same reason. And you suspect that you really are that bad, right?

The reason for the relationship-and-he-recently-proposed-a-breakup-how-can-i-win-him-back-2535.html" target="_blank">breakup was "you are very good and deserve someone better." What an amazing opportunity for self-reflection! Think about it: both guys gave you positive comments, but you feel that they were saying the opposite.

You didn't describe the specific interactions you had with these two men, so you can think back and see what your feelings were during your time with them. What were their feelings?

What was your relationship like? Was it equal, attached, or mutually understanding?

Are there any commonalities between these two relationships? Absolutely! You can think about it.

Do you think these two guys have something in common? It could be their similar personalities, ways of behaving, appearances, or something else entirely! You can even compare them. They think you are very good, and you must be doing something right! Do you think what they say comes from the heart, or is it just a common excuse?

Many people break up with their partners using this kind of reason, thinking that it won't hurt the other person. So which one do you think it is?

Recalling the above may allow you to discover some problems in your relationship with them, and it can also help you in future relationships. At the same time, you can also get to know yourself and evaluate yourself correctly. Is it really because you were so bad in the relationship or is it because of them?

Take a good, hard look at yourself, but don't be too hard on yourself!

I really hope this is useful to you! Best regards!

Hello! You have been dumped twice in a row in two failed relationships, and the reasons for the breakups happened to be the same, which makes you anxious. You begin to wonder if it is because you are not good enough that this has happened. I understand your feelings very well, and I can help you.

I'm going to help you understand your current situation.

You said the reason for breaking up was the same both times, and the other person said you were very nice and deserved someone better. It's not a put-down, so why dismiss yourself for it?

If you look at movies, TV dramas, or literature, you'll see that this sentence is a standard version of breaking up. The protagonists in many stories use it to express their attitude towards breaking up.

First of all, this comment is made with good intentions. The person saying it, although the one who decided to break up, is not trying to hurt the other person. They are taking the blame for the breakup because they want to make things right.

Secondly, this is a euphemistic expression. A more measured person would break up with someone by first creating a better atmosphere by affirming the other person's feelings, and then expressing their decision.

You were broken up with twice, but that just means you met two people who were considerate and respected you enough not to hurt you. You didn't get into a relationship, but you have good taste.

Your value is not determined by others.

A failed relationship can be a blow, and I understand your current state of depression.

But you're not a loser. It's not because you're unlovable and everyone hates you that they broke up with you. Those thoughts are ridiculous.

There are many factors that determine the success or failure of a relationship. It's a simple fact that differences in personality, temperament, and hobbies can all affect the course of a relationship.

Ultimately, whether two people are suitable for each other is a very personal feeling that cannot be quantified. If you encounter a breakup, you can only say that you met someone who is not suitable for being together.

In a relationship, everyone has the right to choose, and you do too. How did you feel in your two relationships?

You need to ask yourself: are they right for you? And if they don't mention breaking up, are you confident that you have met the person you were hoping for?

In a relationship, having your own opinions is the best way to show your value.

Adjust yourself and get out of the rut.

You're feeling this way because you took the breakup as a judgment and labeled yourself as "very bad." This is a normal reaction after a blow.

You must choose your relationships carefully. If you break up with someone who isn't right for you, you're doing yourself and the other person a favour.

If the other person doesn't think you're a good match, then they're not the right person for you either. In this case, breaking up is a good thing.

Don't wallow in self-doubt after a breakup. Gather your thoughts and start again. Your Mr. Right is waiting for you. If you don't separate from those who aren't right for you, how can you run towards your Mr. Right?

So, do something you like: read, exercise, listen to music... Enrich your spiritual world. "If you bloom, the butterflies will come." You're not bad, but you won't stop growing either.

When you devote yourself to life, a new chapter will inevitably be ushered in.

I am Teng Ying, a psychological counselor, and I know this will help!