I was bullied starting in the third grade of elementary school. How did school bullying affect me?

You are here now, so be grateful for that.

After reading your description, I want to give you a hug. I can feel the suffocation you once felt and the helplessness and anger when you had nowhere to turn. It was really not easy for that young you to have to go through all of this. But you did. And you're still here.

You are also very strong. You have come out of it and moved on with your life.

We cannot control what each person will experience in their life. Things are constantly changing, but we can choose how to interpret these experiences. We can use them as a weight to crush us or as a stepping stone to help us grow. The choice is ours.

We have experienced these things, and they are already in the past. Those gay school bullies have been bullying you for a few years, while you have been bullying yourself for more than ten years. It's time to give yourself some perspective. You're afraid of men, you don't have a good impression of men, and you think that experiencing these things means you will be hurt by men for the rest of your life.

My dear, you are bullying yourself.

These interpretations are not facts and they are not the whole story. Huang Qituan, the head of the group, once interpreted a book called "Three Sentences That Change Lives." There are three sentences in it: "Are you sure this is 100% true?"

You can hold on to it without anxiety. Without this thought, you'd be a different person.

Those are not your faults. You will meet them in the future, and they will feel sorry for you instead of bullying you anymore. Everyone makes mistakes growing up, and such mistakes made in the past are not indicative of future behavior.

You don't need to be afraid of meeting them. Be bold and be your true self. Compliment yourself more every day. I recommend mirror practice.

You will gain insight from the experiences and growth of Louise Hay, the author of "Mirror Exercises."

I wish you the best!

Hello.

I'm going to share my thoughts after reading your story, and I'm certain it will help.

You were bullied as a child and felt powerless to resist. You didn't know how to deal with such things. But you're stronger than you think! I admire you for all the hard work you've done along the way.

You are an adult now, and I know you can deal with your past, present, and future. Start by accepting and recognizing all your emotions.

You must accept your past. Being bullied does not mean you are a victim forever. You can still have your own radiance even if you don't look good. Relax completely. Life is just beginning!

Then let's get started. Work hard and steadily, do the little things around you well, or do something that interests you. Life will not ignore you, and you will discover your own value! Of course, life will also test you, just like our exams.

However, our goal is to find solutions to problems in every way. Once a problem is solved, you will feel particularly happy, even if it is a trivial matter. Your confidence will naturally grow!

In life, I prefer to read. Reading helps me cope with life's disappointments, allowing me to start anew with a positive outlook. I also enjoy cooking, and although recipe research is time-consuming, the joy of tasting a delicious dish makes it worthwhile.

I believe that our lives are all the same, and you don't need to be afraid because you are not alone!

Good morning. I extend my sympathies to you. The experience of being bullied at school has left you with a profound psychological trauma. I empathize with your situation. I am Xiaofeiyu Floating Ball, a psychological counselor intern. I, too, was a victim of bullying at school, just like you. I will analyze your problem and provide guidance.

I was subjected to bullying from the third grade of elementary school until it ceased in high school.

Firstly, I would like to offer my support and comfort. It is concerning to learn that you were subjected to bullying at such a young age. I can empathise with your situation, as I was also bullied at school. My own experiences were influenced by economic disadvantage, which led to bullying. Could you please share what your economic circumstances were like during your upbringing? If you had a relatively privileged background, it may have been a contributing factor.

This is an example of human nature: individuals are reluctant to accept that others may be doing better than they are.

Furthermore, those who were less fortunate were also subjected to ridicule and ostracism. It is plausible that these factors collectively contributed to the unfortunate experiences of bullying that you and I both endured during our formative years in educational institutions.

You did, however, seek assistance from the teacher. It must be acknowledged that we were all simply children at the time.

It is not uncommon for teachers to be unable to intervene effectively in bullying situations. However, your circumstances are arguably more favorable than those of many other victims of bullying.

At that time, the teacher was also one of the perpetrators of the bullying. It is too distressing for me to recount the details.

Did you consult with your parents regarding this matter?

It is, in fact, the case that you should have been attractive as a child. Otherwise, you would not have attracted so many people.

At this juncture, it is evident that you have lost confidence in your appearance. This necessitates confidence training and a transformation in your prevailing mood.

As the adage states, one's countenance is a reflection of one's inner being.

If one is in a state of positive affect and the resulting emotional state is outwardly expressed, one will appear more attractive. This phenomenon can be explained by psychological principles.

What are your thoughts on the term "ji女"?

2. The other individual referred to you as a "ji girl" and subjected you to ridicule and ostracism.

Third-grade elementary school students at this time are all children from nearby villages. Consequently, the term "ji nü" is a word that a three-year-old elementary school student is unable to comprehend.

Moreover, the individual in question is unable to communicate with those who would be expected to provide an explanation. Therefore, the question arises as to why the word was uttered.

It is likely that the term was introduced by his parents. Given his age, it is probable that he was unable to comprehend its meaning.

It is possible that he overheard his parents discussing the matter. Alternatively, he may have heard some idle gossip.

This leads to the conclusion that the aforementioned individual employed the term in question as a means of disparaging you. What are your thoughts on this matter?

It can be reasonably assumed that you hold a negative view of "ji women." However, it is important to recognize that this demographic still possesses admirable qualities, particularly for those who are unable to help themselves.

Some individuals engaged in this practice due to a lack of alternative skills, with the aim of providing for themselves or their families.

The question thus arises as to whether such individuals should be subjected to discrimination. In the absence of demand, the occupation would not exist.

Every narrative has multiple facets. In fact, there are often numerous perspectives to consider.

It is possible that you were previously unaware of this profession, or perhaps you have never fully comprehended its true nature. It is likely that you perceive it as a disgraceful occupation.

In a news article, I once read about a young female teacher in a remote mountainous region.

He accepted this position during the summer vacation period. His sole objective was to enhance the learning environment for children in the mountainous region.

She remitted all the proceeds from her remunerative activities to the headmaster, who was thus able to deploy the funds to enhance the quality of the educational facilities.

He engaged in this practice each summer vacation, and she was only 29 years old when she died. The cause of his death was sexual abuse by four foreigners in order to generate additional revenue and transform the children's thatched-roof teachers' house, which was prone to leakage, into a school building.

Do you still consider "ji nü" to be a shameful profession? During the War of Resistance Against Japan, numerous patriotic women played a crucial role in the country's defense by engaging in covert combat against the Japanese forces, operating as "ji nü."

At the time, the entire internet was hurling obscenities at this female teacher. The circumstances were particularly unfortunate for the remote mountainous area.

The thatched roof house, which was in a state of disrepair, was demolished and a new school building was constructed in its place.

The parents of this female teacher donated the compensation she received as a result of her death to this elementary school. This was done so that the children no longer have to take classes in that thatched cottage where it rains.

Such an admirable figure is worthy of our respect.

It would be fitting to erect a monument and inscribe an epitaph for this exemplary female educator.

She was held in high regard by all. This account is based on fact. I must confess, however, that I am unable to recall the name of the female teacher in question.

I am unable to recall the location in question. It may be possible to ascertain this information by conducting a search of the relevant news sources.

3. Fear of men and fear of being hurt by men

The question was posed in a way that was inappropriate and did not take into account the role of the father. It would be beneficial to consider the influence of the father in this situation.

It would be beneficial for you to seek assistance from your father in order to clarify any misunderstandings you may have about men. Have you ever observed your father mistreating your mother? During your childhood, they may have treated you harshly due to the discrepancy in your respective socioeconomic statuses.

It is not uncommon for individuals who have been subjected to prolonged bullying by their peers to experience a range of intense emotions, including fear and anxiety. As you transition into adulthood and prepare to navigate the complexities of society, it is likely that you will encounter a number of suitors. It is possible that you may have already encountered such individuals during your time at college, yet your experiences have left you with a reluctance to accept male affection and pursuit. I would be grateful if you could confirm whether this is an accurate reflection of your situation. If I have inadvertently touched upon a source of distress, I extend my sincerest apologies.

If one plans to remain single for the remainder of their life, it may seem like a trivial issue at present. However, as time progresses, one's perspective may evolve. The more one is reluctant to marry, the more potential partners one may encounter. One can avoid falling in love, but one cannot prevent the opposite sex from pursuing one. It is essential to anticipate interactions with a greater number of individuals of the opposite sex. One's experiences have shaped a flawed understanding of men, but this does not imply that all men are identical. One is generalizing excessively about men.

4. Are you experiencing feelings of fear, apprehension, anxiety, inferiority, and a lack of self-confidence, and are attempting to make changes to your self-perception, but have not yet achieved the desired outcome?

From my perspective, your reluctance to interact with him is indicative of the psychological trauma caused by bullying at school. It is evident that you have a strong determination to overcome this trauma, but you have not yet identified an effective strategy. It is important to recognize that these issues can be effectively addressed, and you should have confidence in your ability to do so.

The fear, anxiety, and trepidation associated with encountering the individual who perpetrated bullying during one's formative years, whether in a public setting or otherwise, can be significant. In such instances, the impact of the bullying can be profound. The proximity of the two individuals in question may also be a contributing factor.

It would appear that he remains the bully in the village. Might I inquire as to the last occasion on which you saw him?

From the information provided in the narrative, it appears that there has not been any contact between the two parties since their time at high school.

It is notable that a considerable length of time has elapsed since the two individuals last encountered each other. Even if they were to meet on the street, there is a possibility that they would not recognize each other.

What, then, is there to be afraid of? In order to overcome the fear and dread that reside within your heart,

It is therefore imperative that you confront your fears. You are currently still in college.

It would be beneficial for him to be in school as well. One might inquire as to why not during the summer or winter vacations.

It is recommended that you arrange to meet with this classmate on purpose. It is acknowledged that this may be challenging for you.

This is the most direct and effective method for overcoming the fear and anxiety caused by childhood bullying.

It is a common misconception that appearance anxiety, low self-esteem, and lack of confidence are the result of external factors. However, research has shown that these issues are often inextricably linked to experiences of bullying during childhood. In order to move forward, it is essential to embrace self-compassion and acknowledge that these experiences are part of the past. Letting go of past hurts allows us to forgive others and experience a sense of relief. As adults, we are navigating a rapidly evolving social landscape, and it is understandable that we may feel overwhelmed.

It is not a simple matter to meet someone. Therefore, it would be prudent to accept this and move on.

It is imperative to allow oneself a period of recuperation. This should be done nightly before retiring for the evening. It is crucial to recognize that the process is complete. After two weeks of consistent effort, it is recommended to assess whether there has been a change in emotional state.

It is understandable that you experience appearance anxiety, given the prevalence of aesthetic ideals in our society. It is important to recognize that everyone possesses their own unique beauty, and you are no exception. It is not uncommon for individuals to have difficulty recognizing their own beauty. However, it is crucial to understand that self-confidence and self-acceptance are essential for personal growth and development.

If one is experiencing feelings of inferiority, it is recommended that one begin to make changes immediately. The first step is to engage in confidence training. This involves practicing smiling in the mirror every morning and evening. One should remove any expressions that are perceived as unflattering and replace them with a smile. It is important to note that the issue is not a lack of knowledge regarding how to smile; rather, it is a matter of having neglected this behavior for an extended period, resulting in a lack of practice. One should walk with a smile on their face and maintain an upright posture. If one maintains a downward gaze, it becomes more challenging for others to perceive the youthful confidence and positive feedback that one exudes.

The initial phase may be somewhat challenging and uncomfortable, but it is essential to determine one's readiness to proceed. By the tenth day, it is likely that noticeable changes will have occurred, including an enhanced sense of beauty and confidence, along with the ability to maintain a positive and assertive demeanor.

It is recommended that colleagues train their self-confidence by breaking their big goals into multiple small stages. It is advised that a reward be given to oneself when a goal is achieved, even if the reward is merely a hug. It is also recommended that one tell oneself that one can do it. When these small goals are achieved and the final goal is reached, self-confidence will be restored. It is believed that these methods will be effective. Best of luck!

The field of psychology is a fascinating and intriguing area of study, and I have a profound appreciation for it.

It would be beneficial to offer the questioner a supportive gesture to demonstrate understanding and compassion. It is evident that the individual has experienced significant distress as a result of bullying, which has negatively impacted their social interactions and instilled feelings of apprehension.

The issue of school bullying is a significant and persistent challenge in the education sector. Many professionals have been examining the underlying causes of this phenomenon, with the aim of identifying the root cause and implementing effective solutions.

It is regrettable that this situation still arises on occasion.

There is an old adage that is still relevant today: "Where there are people, there are rivers and lakes; where there are rivers and lakes, there are disputes; where there are disputes, there is harm." Apart from living in a place where you are the only person, you will otherwise face conflicts with others and harm from others.

I also experienced bullying at school when I was a student. At that time, I was small and thin, especially after junior high school. Many classmates were unfamiliar with me, unlike in elementary school when everyone in the village knew each other. I was the target of bullying in the eyes of some classmates. I was beaten and cried many times. While crying, I fought back. When the teacher was informed, he also helped me scold the classmates who bullied me, but the problem persisted.

Subsequently, I began associating with older students. A few of them were kind enough to assist me when they learned that I was being bullied. They intimidated the bullies to some extent, and subsequently, I was not bullied as frequently.

Subsequently, when I was employed and engaged in academic studies, I was confronted with instances of bullying. In such cases, I no longer chose to tolerate these actions but instead adopted a firm and assertive stance to protect myself. Concurrently, I engaged in physical conditioning to enhance my strength and ability to defend myself. As a result, I ceased being bullied and my relationships with others improved, leading to the formation of new connections.

As the popular saying goes, "Respect is not something that is given to you, it is something that you have to earn." If you want to earn the respect of others, you must first respect yourself. This allows you to not accept others' disrespect for you and take effective self-protection measures against actions that hurt you.

During the course of his teachings, Buddha encountered a village where a demon specialized in killing people and cutting off their fingers to wear on his chest. The demon's actions were driven by a desire to become stronger and avoid further bullying. He had previously been bullied by numerous individuals, who had laughed at, insulted, and generally treated him in an unfriendly manner. Consequently, he harbored a deep resentment towards humanity and sought to eliminate them in order to create a more friendly world.

When he saw the Buddha and wanted to kill the Buddha, the Buddha inquired as to his motivation. The man explained that he wanted to kill the Buddha because he felt bullied by others. The Buddha then asked how the man felt when he was bullied. The man said he felt scared and miserable. The Buddha then said that those people the man killed were also facing the same fear and misery as he was.

For individuals who engage in bullying behavior, it can serve as a means of establishing a sense of self-worth. They may perceive that they are unable to interact with others in a gentle, friendly, and loving manner, and that hurting others is the only way to gain a sense of self-existence and satisfaction. This behavior is often shaped by their experiences in their original family environment and may not always be controlled by their conscious self. From a psychoanalytic perspective, it can be seen as an expression of their intimate relationship with others, where the underlying belief is "I love you, so I have to hurt you."

The emotions in question are likely to be significant and require a more structured approach to their management. It may be beneficial to consider seeking professional counseling to address these emotions, reduce stress levels, and adjust one's self-perception to enhance resilience in navigating life's challenges.

Good day. I am Wanshi Ruyi, and I am honored to have been invited to respond to your questions.

I empathize with your situation. The seven-year period of bullying has had a profound impact on your character. I can perceive the humiliation you endured and your desperation when you had nowhere to turn for help, even through the screen. I comprehend your feelings.

I believe you possess considerable strength and courage, as well as admirable personal qualities. These attributes have enabled you to persevere through challenging circumstances until you were able to extricate yourself from the difficult situation without being unduly overwhelmed by the difficulties.

It is my contention that in the future, you will continue to embody these intrinsic and exemplary qualities, persevere with fortitude, and simultaneously cultivate your personal growth as you navigate the process of healing from trauma.

It is evident from your statements that you are experiencing anxiety, fear, and depression. It is recommended that you seek a mental health assessment at a psychiatric department of a regular specialist hospital to ascertain the severity of your condition and to receive a diagnosis and treatment recommendations from a qualified medical professional. This is the initial step in the process.

The second step is to reduce the distress caused by negative emotions. A number of strategies may be employed to achieve this:

Firstly, it is essential to alter one's lifestyle. This may prove challenging, but it is possible to commence with straightforward exercises. It is recommended to engage in a minimum of 40 minutes of outdoor walking on a daily basis. It is also advised to avoid staying up late, to switch off the internet before bedtime, and to read a book if sleep is not forthcoming. Furthermore, it is important to refrain from looking at one's phone at night.

Secondly, in the absence of suitable outdoor conditions, it is possible to maintain a daily meditation practice of between five and ten minutes. As the practitioner gains proficiency, the duration of the meditation can be extended. Meditation facilitates self-awareness of the physical, emotional and mental states.

Third, it is recommended that you reconstruct your mental model. If your financial situation allows, it is advised that you engage in long-term psychological counseling and allow a professional to assist you in healing your trauma.

Fourth, if that is not feasible, it is imperative to rely on one's own fortitude to pursue continued learning and personal growth, as exemplified by numerous individuals who have successfully overcome traumatic experiences. One may engage with additional psychological literature, such as May You Have a Life Illuminated by Love and Inferiority Complex and Transcendence. While the process may be gradual, it is crucial to persevere as long as it is beneficial for trauma recovery and personal development.

The One Psychology platform offers reading clubs where participants can engage in learning and growth alongside their peers and instructors. Each individual is on a unique path of personal growth and healing.

It is my hope that you will be determined to spend your entire life repairing the wounds of your childhood, working your way out of difficult situations, and growing into a better person.

One must first learn to love oneself and develop the capacity to create a happy life before embarking on the happy path of dual cultivation with one's life partner.

It is my sincere hope that you will soon be able to extricate yourself from your current difficulties. I wish you the utmost success. I am also engaged in the process of learning psychology and developing myself. I wish you the best.