I was told I was stupid since I was young, and I have a low self-esteem. Why doesn't anyone love me?

Hello, question asker. I can see you're feeling confused, and I'm here to support you.

You mentioned that your parents don't love you at home.

This might be related to their own family of origin.

It's possible that when they were growing up, their parents never showed them love.

If you grew up in such an environment, it's likely that your parents don't know how to love you.

There's a saying in psychology that what we don't have, we can't give to others.

You might feel like you're all alone in this, like no one can help you.

The good news is that there are plenty of people on the platform who are going through similar things, so you're not alone.

You can choose to talk to your parents about how you feel.

When you're talking to your parents, it's a good idea to start with "I" instead of "you."

You can also go with the method in the book (Nonviolent Communication).

If you're having trouble talking to your parents in person, you can use WeChat on your phone to express your thoughts on how they could change their behavior, especially if they're using their phone.

It's also worth noting that even if you express your feelings, your parents may not change their behavior. After all, they've been acting this way for most of their lives, and it's not realistic to expect a complete overnight transformation just because you want it.

And let's not forget that your parents are also new to being parents, so they have their own limitations and there are things they haven't done as well as they could have.

I really hope you can find a solution to the problem you're facing soon.

That's all I can think of for now.

I hope my answer was helpful and inspiring to you. I'm the one who answered, and I study hard every day.

Best wishes to you from all of us here at Yixinli!

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Hello, question asker. It seems like those who should be your closest relatives have not given you warmth, but instead have belittled and attacked you at every turn. They even go so far as to expose your scars when you are being bullied.

This can make you feel desperate and like you have no one to turn to.

You've managed to give a detailed account of how your family saw you and how they treated you, as well as a concise description of your and your sister's characteristics and experiences. This shows your level of attentiveness and your ability to feel and express yourself.

Your story says, "They looked down on me and thought I was a problem child," and then talks about your inferiority complex, cowardice, and ingratiating personality. So let's think about it: what's the relationship between the two?

Is it a cause-and-effect situation?

When kids are young, if their parents don't give them enough love, they may focus on their parents' emotions and try to please them. This can be a way for kids to survive and a sign of their wisdom.

Inferiority and cowardice may come from our parents disapproving of us, but could it also be a smart move to avoid getting hurt by playing it safe?

Maybe we've been in this mode for so long that we've unconsciously made the inferior, weak, and pleasing modes part of our lives. This might make us think that inferiority and weakness are our true selves.

If we realize that this mode is a conscious choice made to adapt to the needs of survival at the time, and that our current feelings of insecurity can be resolved by providing ourselves with security, can we then choose to return to the security mode?

From a young age, kids naturally love their parents and will do whatever it takes, even if it means putting themselves at risk, to look after their parents. When we feel like our parents are weak, we might try to find a sense of strength by letting them take control.

We'll send our parents a signal by acting humble and saying, "Come on, bully me." But parents love their kids, and when they get this message, they might decide to work with their kids and attack them. These are all unconscious choices.

All attacks are based on love, and all inferiority complexes stem from love. There's nothing wrong with love. It's just the way it's expressed that's the problem.

Love gives love back, and blessings bring blessings. When we see our own strength and self-respect, others will see it in us too.

If we show love in a different way, others will respond to it differently too.

Everyone has their own strengths, and they just need to be recognized. When you recognize your own strengths, respect, and acceptance, you're also recognizing your own strength.

Respect your own boundaries, accept your parents' way of expressing themselves, and communicate with courage and sincerity. You'll see a different side of yourself.

A simple analysis is subjective and one-sided, but I hope it can provide some useful insights.

At Yixinli, we love you and the world loves you too! ??