I'm 32, I've accomplished nothing, I borrowed money to pay for medical treatment, I see no hope, I want to kill myself.

Good day, host. I empathize with your situation, as I understand how frustrating life can be at the moment. I extend my support and hope that I can assist you in overcoming the obstacles you are facing.

A significant proportion of the population leads lives that diverge from their aspirations. You are among this group.

It would be beneficial to take a moment to calm down and ask yourself three questions.

At what point in time did you last engage in an activity that you found enjoyable?

At what point in time did you last allow yourself to laugh or cry?

One might inquire as to the last occasion on which the subject engaged in an activity with a sense of enthusiasm and dedication, with the understanding that failure was preferable to success.

One may choose to retain these responses in one's memory or record them in written form.

At times, individuals may contemplate that if they were financially affluent, they would experience a reduction in concerns, a lack of obligation to engage in cognitive processes, and the capacity to engage in any desired activity.

This is not contingent on one's financial status. Rather, it is the individual's psychological disposition that is of primary importance. While a wealthy individual may not necessarily embody the characteristics they aspire to, a person of limited means can still flourish if they align themselves with their optimal persona.

The age of 32 represents a critical juncture in one's life, marking the period when individuals are most capable of taking control of their destiny and pursuing their life goals with vigor.

It is a common assumption that adults must live a life of exhaustion. This can manifest as a tendency to run around like a headless chicken, completely lost in the crowd, and becoming the one with the blank expression on one's face. This is a narrative that offers comfort to individuals who lack the courage or motivation to live the life they truly desire.

Individuals may experience growth on a daily basis, yet the transformation into a person one despises is not indicative of such growth. The genuine indication of growth is the formation of a clear understanding of the person one aspires to become and the subsequent dedication to working towards that end. Otherwise, the consequence is the accumulation of age without any discernible progress, resulting in a state of perpetual motion and confusion.

Even if attaining the desired personality is challenging and the objective is not readily attainable, if one proceeds in a methodical manner, the desired personality will eventually be achieved.

Indeed, a commitment to rigorous self-improvement is an integral aspect of maintaining a positive self-image. Life is not a stagnant pool, but rather a dynamic entity brimming with potential. The inherent uncertainty that permeates existence can be transformed into a catalyst for growth and opportunity.

The appeal of life does not lie in the passage of time itself, but rather in the individual who is experiencing it. When an individual begins to perceive themselves as a stereotypical and uninteresting person, it signifies a significant shift in their perception of life, which can ultimately lead to a sense of monotony and tedium. This occurs when an individual accepts a life that does not align with their intrinsic values and aspirations.

Indeed, individuals are often preoccupied with numerous responsibilities and challenges, which can lead to a loss of perspective on their long-term goals. Some individuals may become so overwhelmed by the demands of daily life that they lose sight of their original aspirations. They may simply allow circumstances to dictate their actions.

However, there are individuals who are able to navigate the challenges of life and use them as opportunities for growth and advancement.

If one were to identify the five most important aspirations in one's life, what would they be? It is recommended that these be recorded in writing and that a concerted effort be made to achieve them. It must be acknowledged that success is not guaranteed, but without effort, the likelihood of success is minimal.

Each morning, one should take the time to reflect on their appearance and the life they are currently leading. It is crucial to ask oneself whether the individual in the mirror is the person they aspire to be and whether the life they are currently living aligns with their personal goals.

It is imperative to consider one's genuine aspirations. Regardless of one's age, it is crucial not to squander this brief yet remarkable existence.

This is the extent of the information I am in a position to divulge.

Hello, question asker! I'm here to tell you that you're going to be just fine.

You said you're almost 32 and your mother raised you alone. You can't earn or spend money, so you borrow to spend. You can't pay the interest, so life is hard. You have no money, no girlfriend, and life is difficult. You don't want to live, you've thought about leaving this world.

You think you want to give up on your life. Maybe you think it's too difficult. But you're already an adult. The country's economy is in a slump, but you'll find a job when the pandemic's over. Deliverymen are very profitable right now. There are many jobs you can find.

Your life is valuable and meaningful. Believe it. Your mother was able to raise you on her own, which shows how much she loves you and how important you are to her.

You are a kind person and know that it was not easy for your mother to raise you on her own. You are not alone in the world either; you still have your mother who loves you very much. You can find a job with her and save money slowly. When you have saved enough money and your life is better, you can then talk about getting a girlfriend.

You will work hard and be diligent to make yourself better, and then there will be girls who will want to go out with you.

I have a question for the author. I love you, and so does the world!

Hello! I'll give you a warm hug from afar!

You may feel a few lonesome, helpless, and insecure feelings right now, but you're also feeling a lot of other great things!

You've got this! You're facing some tough challenges right now, but you're stronger than you know. You've got debts to repay, you're going through a rough patch in your personal life, and you're even dealing with physical illness. It's a lot, but you can do it! It's time to stop blaming yourself and start taking charge of your life. You're doing your best, and that's all you can do. So, believe in yourself and know that you're capable of greatness. You've got this!

Once you're aware of where you are right now, you'll be able to use this knowledge to make positive changes! What do you think?

For example, you can use an emotional diary to record your current painful emotional feelings in words. This is a great way to help you better perceive, understand, experience, and sort out your inner emotional feelings. You'll even find more appropriate ways and methods to respond to your inner needs!

You can also try talking to close friends about your painful emotional feelings to gain their strong emotional support. This is a great way to get the help you need! It's not a sign of weakness to ask for help from family and friends. It's a sign of courage to accept and face your inner vulnerability.

At the same time, you can do something really great for yourself! Try to learn to accept yourself better and cultivate self-confidence. You can try to learn to accept yourself better by making a list of your strengths. This way, you can see both your shortcomings and your many bright spots and strengths. You can also try to cultivate self-confidence and enhance your sense of self-worth by keeping a gratitude journal.

No matter how tough things get, remember that you can always ask for help. Your love for your mom shows that you want to live a better life. So, embrace your inner strength and face whatever comes your way!

I'm Lily, the little ear of the Q&A Museum! The world and I love you!

Hello, question asker.

From your description, I can sense the challenges you're facing. It's clear that you're facing difficulties, including financial constraints. It seems like you're the primary source of support for yourself and are now facing significant challenges. Reading your words, I can empathize with your situation.

However, you did not choose to remain silent, but expressed your emotions on this professional psychological platform, Yi Xinli. You are already doing something positive by sharing your emotions on a professional platform like Yi Xinli. Many people around me still don't know about such professional platforms, so you are ahead of the curve in that regard.

I believe you mentioned that you were planning to look for work after the epidemic, but then you fell ill again with a fever and nausea. Have you had a nucleic acid test and gone to the hospital to find out what the illness is? Not all illnesses can be self-healed like the flu. Even if you don't have the money to pay for treatment right now, getting a diagnosis will at least give you some peace of mind, don't you think?

If it's not a very serious illness, perhaps you could consider finding a slightly easier job to do first. Entering society and dealing with people is better than lying at home alone daydreaming, and it might also help to have a certain income, which could somewhat alleviate the current situation.

Regarding your view that seeking medical care through borrowing money is not a viable option, it's important to recognize that financial constraints are not the only factor at play. In this situation, it might be helpful to explore options like reaching out to relatives and friends for assistance or considering crowdfunding. However, it's crucial to avoid resorting to irregular borrowing and lending practices, as the associated interest rates can be quite high. Even with external debt of several tens of thousands of dollars, it's possible to find ways to earn income through work and dedication. If necessary, you can consider taking on basic tasks that align with your abilities and financial circumstances. This could involve performing essential duties that align with your physical capabilities. It's also important to recognize that seeking employment can open doors to new opportunities, even if it means taking on tasks that may not be as glamorous as your previous roles. The probability of finding suitable opportunities while working is often higher than staying idle at home.

The questioner said that his mother is the reason for his existence and that she has raised him single-handedly. Has the questioner ever considered whether his mother has faced more challenging circumstances than he did when he was young? It is undoubtedly difficult for a woman to raise a child single-handedly. If his mother does not have a stable job and income, it will be even more challenging.

Given these circumstances, it is clear that the questioner's mother has always been a source of strength and inspiration for her son. Now that her mother is facing challenges due to her age and health, it is understandable that the questioner is facing difficult decisions.

It is my hope that the questioner will continue to live well, as this will provide his mother with hope, support, and company.

Regarding the questioner's suggestion of finding a place where no one is around and leaving without pain, I must respectfully disagree. As a family member of medical professionals, I can confidently say that there is no painless way to end one's life. Many people regret their suicide attempts because of the physical pain, but unfortunately, most of them don't have the chance to regret. It is better to endure the pain in real life than to suffer like that, at least there is still the possibility and hope of change.

The fact that the questioner can express themselves here shows that there is still hope in their heart. There are also some groups on the Yixinli platform, and the questioner can join them if they wish. If they have any emotions, they can talk about them in the group, and there will be people who are willing to respond.

The four-leaf clover is a symbol of good fortune. Its earliest known origin can be traced back to the Irish clover of the fifth century. On rare occasions, a four-leaf clover may be found. Christians believe that the shape of the four-leaf clover resembles a cross, which they consider a magical plant and a precious gift from God to humanity. Consequently, it is also known as lucky grass. However, when seeking a four-leaf clover, it is important to remember that there are numerous other clovers scattered throughout the mountains and fields. While they may appear ordinary, they also represent happiness. The epidemic has undoubtedly changed everyone's life, and everyone is facing their own challenges. However, it is crucial to prioritize survival before worrying about the rest.

I wish you the best!