I'm already 30+, and I've been in a bad mood lately, but I can't find a reason for it. What should I do?

Hello.

Given your circumstances—no home, no car, unsatisfactory work, and a lack of motivation in your studies—it's understandable that you're anxious and restless at 30. You're perceptive, filial, and considerate of your siblings. You have desires for your own intimate relationships and are interested in exploring your emotions and predicting your future.

I am here to help you sort this out. Fear is the most primitive and deepest of our human emotions. The most intense anxiety/what-should-be-done-if-fear-of-men-arises-due-to-molestation-by-a-stranger-at-the-age-of-8-15153.html" target="_blank">fear is the fear of the unknown.

You will have some anticipatory reactions to eliminate this uncertainty. This fear is the primary emotion that makes you feel bad.

In other words, it triggers other negative emotions in you like a domino effect, and it can easily trigger anxiety. I am confident that my analysis has been helpful.

1. Tell me what you are afraid of.

"恐"指向未知事物, 强调主观感受; "惧"指向的是外在确定的事物;

2. What are you avoiding?

Fear is a reaction to danger and loss of control, and this leads to avoidance behavior.

3. What uncertainty are you trying to eliminate? What other emotions are triggered by a sense of loss of control?

4. What emotion are you currently experiencing? What should you focus on?

5. Name the behaviors you are avoiding or don't want to face.

Emotions are your guide. They tell you what you need to focus on. You can explore your feelings by reading, writing, painting, meditating, or talking to a counselor. This will help you understand your emotions and meet the powerful, courageous, and motivated self that's waiting for you.

Hello, question asker! From your question and your expression, I can tell that you're ready for a change.

It's just that recently, you've had more free time, and you've been thinking about these worrying things in reality, which is totally normal!

From what you've said, it's clear you're eager to help your family and make them happy.

I feel that you are a sensitive person who cares about your family and wants them to live well. You are kind at heart, and I admire your sensitivity.

Whenever you encounter difficulties or setbacks, you have the opportunity to think of many things and have many concerns. Then, you can choose to stop moving forward or keep going!

It's so easy to change yourself! All you have to do is change the way you look at things. Sometimes, the psychological factor is really simple. Just change your perspective and attitude, and you'll see more and more positive things in your life!

The great news is that all you need to do is be willing to take action and change your perspective!

Guess what! Changing your state is a systematic scientific process. It's not something you can do by asking a question and looking at the answer.

I highly recommend that you first see the positive side of the things you currently consider to be a burden, or even two or three positive sides! Things themselves have no opinions, and it is the opinions we impose on things that affect us.

For example, being single is also a kind of responsibility from a positive perspective. It is appropriate to get married when you can take on the responsibility of a family. Many people get married without a sense of responsibility for their family, and as a result, they are not happy in their marriage, causing pain to their partners and even their children. Some even get divorced, which brings pain to both families. But there's no need to worry! There are plenty of ways to make sure you're ready for marriage.

Another great example is that if you have the awareness that your parents need to be supported at home, you are responsible for this yourself, and you still have the ability to work and your family is healthy, then this is all happiness in the present!

But when we are always in a state of worry, we cannot see our own positive and happy factors. For example, if you put a black dot on a white piece of paper and ask people what they see, most people will say that there is a black dot, and very few people will say that it is a piece of white paper. So, let's flip this around! Instead of focusing on the negative, let's focus on the positive. Instead of seeing a black dot on a white piece of paper, let's see a piece of white paper with a black dot on it.

I highly recommend that you take a good, hard look at your situation, embrace the positive, think practically about problems, and be positive when taking action!

I highly recommend reading the book Accepting an Imperfect Self. It was written by an incredible American author.

She once hit rock bottom in her life and career. But compared to her situation, yours is just the beginning!

She was in the gutter, but she made a comeback! I think it is worth learning how she changed herself by changing her inner state of mind and her outlook on things.

I can't recommend this book highly enough! I used it to write three or four notebooks of self-reflection, and it helped me so much. You've got to read it!

I also highly recommend reading "The Four Teachings of Liao Fan." There's even a WeChat group dedicated to practicing this family motto together!

This is an amazing true story that can totally change your life!

Studying these two books is an amazing way to change your life! It's not just a little here and there, it's a total transformation.

Learn and practice every day, for example, for at least half an hour. Then, in your life, put into practice what you have learned. If you really do this, in two or three months, your mood will be very different—and it'll be a great new you!

And your life will change for the better! Open yourself up to positive change!

Anxiety, apprehension, and a lack of self-assurance are common responses to the prospect of adversity. Indeed, individuals may be more distressed by the prospect of the unknown than by the immediate challenge itself.

When confronted with a significant challenge, individuals often choose to take action to address it, driven by feelings of helplessness and pressure. In such moments, it is possible to temporarily set aside one's concerns.

Let us consider a hypothetical scenario: if a fairy were to inform Xiao A that he would face a significant challenge tomorrow, but refrain from disclosing the specifics, and then subsequently reveal that Xiao A's life would conclude at the age of 80, would it be reasonable to conclude that Xiao A would be more apprehensive about the impending challenge or the eventuality of reaching the age of 80?

Although both scenarios are frightening, it is reasonable to posit that tomorrow's disaster may be even more frightening, given that Xiao A is unaware of what that may entail.

The following example is provided to illustrate the genesis of fear and worry. It is indubitable that a considerable proportion of these emotions is attributable to the unknown.

In addressing the initial question, it is evident that in one's thirties, there is a paucity of financial resources, housing, and transportation, and a lack of marital status. It is therefore pertinent to inquire: why is there a sense of anxiety?

One might inquire as to why this kind of thinking was absent during the 20s. Why did concern arise at this particular age?

One must consider whether the assumption that one will have attained financial stability, a residence, and a marital status by the age of 30 is a result of the expectations held during one's 20s. Alternatively, one might contemplate the possibility of remaining unmarried, lacking in material possessions, and without a vehicle by the age of 40.

It becomes evident that the anxiety is not about the lack of these things at this particular age, but rather about the absence of them in one's overall life trajectory. However, if the prospective employment can continue to gain value with age, and one's savings also increase with age, then it is possible to attain a state of financial stability by the age of 40.

Indeed, this is the case.

The issue has already manifested, and you are cognizant of it. The crux of the matter is how to resolve it. Fortunately, we have also identified the underlying cause of the issue, which is still "I have never had these experiences in my life."

It would be beneficial to identify a method for gradually acquiring these things. However, this is a challenging proposition.

If one is situated in a first-tier city, it is undoubtedly more challenging to thrive in locales with heightened competition. However, what about second- or third-tier cities?

The task may not be as challenging as initially perceived. What if the opportunity is in your hometown?

The objective is to prompt individuals to engage in reflection. To illustrate, consider the metaphor of the chicken head and the phoenix tail, and the underlying motivations driving human behavior. The answer to this question lies within the realm of human thought.

Naturally, the majority of individuals aspire to encounter a suitable partner at the optimal juncture, formalize their union, establish a domicile, procure a vehicle, and secure gainful employment. While some have indeed attained these objectives, others, constrained by a disadvantaged initial position, are unable to do so.

It is also possible that those who have achieved these things may have parents who were just as anxious as the author was at the age of 30, and that the author is merely repeating what their parents once faced. Alternatively, it could be that a smaller proportion of people are facing the same thing as their grandparents did.

If the starting line is different, it is not possible to make a comparison. To illustrate this point, consider the following scenario: suppose your grandparents had two clones, identical in personality and talent, and that one was a farmer in a third-tier city, while the other was a farmer in a first-tier city.

From liberation to reform and opening up to the present, they have all contributed to the formation of the individual. What impact do you believe you would have had in this process? My argument is that while certain circumstances may appear unjust to the individual, when viewed in the context of the larger historical and social landscape, these circumstances are often seen to be justifiable.

Indeed, a great many things are justified simply by their existence. It is possible that your grandparents, who lived in a first-tier city, gave birth to you so that you could enjoy the benefits of modernity, including owning a house and a car and getting married (assuming that you work in a first-tier city), because they had a house and there were many opportunities at the time.

This phenomenon may also extend to the family planning decisions of one's parents. Individuals born in a third-tier city may be able to afford a house and car and may even be able to marry within their own city.

The crux of the issue is that a significant proportion of individuals who were born in third-tier cities now work in first-tier cities, yet they often compare themselves with those who were born in first-tier cities. This is an unfair comparison, as their starting points are inherently different. It is rare for anyone to become wealthy overnight, and even fewer individuals achieve success in a single step. The majority of ordinary people can only accumulate wealth through a pragmatic and down-to-earth approach.

It is my contention that the rationale behind this decision is the most comfortable and appropriate for you. In light of this, I recommend that you read more books when the opportunity arises, while simultaneously contemplating, accumulating wealth, and earning money.

In light of the fact that numerous objectives cannot be simultaneously attained and have already been achieved, it is imperative to accept this reality. Furthermore, it is of paramount importance to engage in introspection and contemplation regarding the potential for transformation and reflection. This entails a process of self-examination to identify the areas where one may fall short of the standards set by others and to determine the necessary adjustments to align oneself with the individual or individuals whom one admires and aspires to emulate.

Furthermore, it is advisable to relax one's own standards. It is important not to feel that if one is 30, one must adhere to a specific set of expectations to be considered a good individual. It is possible that one will excel in a different manner by the age of 40. It is also possible that by that age, one will have formed a relationship with a partner who values them, or that one will have achieved financial stability. It is likely that a significant number of factors will have undergone a transformation by that point in time.

Additionally, you have experienced the kind of pressure that society places on older unmarried individuals. How did that feel? Why do so many people act in a manner that they would not like to be acted upon towards them?

The question of why it is so difficult for older women to get married has long been a topic of interest. Is it because of fertility issues, or because men do not find them attractive? Some people have even blamed the women themselves.

If it is challenging for women to overcome the difficulties associated with childbearing, it is also likely that men may find it difficult to accept older women as partners. This raises the question of whether there is a way to facilitate a mutual acceptance and understanding between the two groups. The issue of childbearing can potentially be addressed through technological advancements. Similarly, cultural shifts may play a role in influencing men's attitudes towards older women as partners.

In this regard, a kind of disregard seems to exist, whereby those who get on the train tend to ignore the feelings of those who are not on the train. It is notable that some of those who get on the train also say things that are not very nice when they get on.

These observations indicate a need for a shift in ideological thinking. The Chinese population is highly intelligent, and one potential challenge inherited from previous generations is navigating the economic factors influencing marital decisions. If there is no effort to improve and enhance society, it will inevitably decline. It is therefore crucial to consider how to ensure the well-being of future generations.

It is my hope that society will demonstrate a greater degree of understanding and tolerance towards older unmarried young people. At the very least, should there not be a shift in the prevailing ideology?

An alternative perspective is that intolerance and a lack of understanding are acceptable, and that measures should be introduced to address the issue. However, this is a separate consideration.

The issue that causes distress for you is a common source of anxiety for a significant proportion of the population. Therefore, you are not alone in experiencing this challenge. By shifting from a state of distress to a proactive stance, you can differentiate yourself from others who remain in a state of distress. This shift in perspective can enhance your resilience and potentially open doors to new opportunities. It is crucial to recognize that anxiety can be overcome and that taking action can lead to positive outcomes.

Hello, host, "Stop wasting energy and learn to accept yourself. This is the beginning of a better life." Someone once said, "The problems in life are nothing more than chains you set for yourself."

Internal conflict is like a virus. It makes you anxious and depressed. The problem is not the anxiety itself, but how you think about it.

Once upon a time, an Arab scholar conducted an experiment in psychology. He placed two newborn goats in different environments: one was free, while the other was chained to a stake next to a wolf. The free goat grew healthy, while the other died from anxiety. So it is important to have good or bad emotions.

Everyone has emotions. Good emotions encourage, while bad emotions warn. The most difficult but important task is to reconcile with oneself.

If you're unhappy with the way things are and can't change them, and you worry about what other people think, you'll feel drained. It's not the things themselves that drain us, but the thoughts in our hearts.

Don't worry about the past or future. Don't waste energy on things that don't concern you. Don't measure your worth by what others say or do.

Be honest and accept yourself. Stop fighting with yourself and make life easier.

I hope this helps!

Dear Question Asker, You inquired about the potential causes of your recent mood swings, which have been occurring at an age when many individuals experience a shift in their emotional state.

I would like to begin by commending you for your awareness of your emotions. The capacity for self-awareness represents a form of personal growth.

Let us examine your question together.

You indicate that you are currently in your thirties, yet you lack the conventional markers of adulthood, such as a home, vehicle, or marital status. You reside in a different city, employed in the same position for an extended period, and consistently encounter difficulties in transitioning to a new job or changing your career path. You recognize the need for personal growth and the acquisition of new skills but lack the knowledge and resources to do so.

As the adage states, "If a tree is moved, it will die; but if a person moves, he will live."

If one feels that one has been in a certain position for an extended period of time, that the work has no future or is uninteresting, then one may consider changing jobs. However, before changing jobs, one must consider one's desired career path. Alternatively, one can explore other industries while continuing in one's current position to identify a field of interest.

As the adage states, "If a tree is to be moved, it will die. If you are unable to secure a more suitable position, it is imperative that you expand your skill set."

There are numerous skills that can be acquired in the contemporary era, including those pertaining to sports, music, and even knowledge and abilities. To pursue a particular skill, one must first identify an area of interest and then dedicate oneself to its study.

There is no unified standard for life. The aforementioned expectations, such as purchasing a house, car, getting married, and starting a family, are not universal to all individuals in their thirties. Contemporary society is more inclusive, and there are various ways to live one's life, with diverse life styles.

The absence of these experiences in one's thirties does not signify a failure of life, nor does it indicate a personal failure. It is plausible that one's outlook is more contemplative and progressive, and that one is willing to challenge the conventional norms of living.

❓On occasion, I find myself contemplating the circumstances of my parents and younger brother, who has never married. This often evokes feelings of anxiety and unease within me. My family hails from a conventional rural setting, and it was already a significant challenge for my parents to raise four siblings. This naturally leads me to question how they would have managed the financial burden of purchasing a house for my younger brother.

It is incumbent upon each individual to assume responsibility for their own life.

Although the elder sister is older than her younger brother, she is not obliged to assume responsibility for her younger brother's marriage and future life. As an elder sister, she can provide appropriate assistance to her younger brother when she is able to do so, thereby enabling him to lead a better life. However, she is under no obligation to assume full responsibility for his life.

It is therefore unnecessary to ascribe blame to oneself or one's parents for the younger brother's lack of marriage and the family's inability to purchase a house for him. The younger brother is an adult, and as such, must accept responsibility for his own life.

It is not a simple matter for you to leave your family and live alone in the city. You have obligations to your younger brother, including the purchase of a house, which is a significant financial undertaking. It is challenging for a woman to work in the city without the support of a partner. She is isolated and lacks a reliable source of assistance. She must earn a livelihood to support herself.

Furthermore, you have lacked confidence in marriage since childhood and have rejected it, resulting in your continued single status. Additionally, your parents have struggled financially, with concerns about their future financial security in retirement. When you consider these circumstances, it evokes a sense of distress. However, the prospect of your sister and younger sister's marital status offers a degree of consolation, as they appear to be leading a relatively fulfilling life. Despite their financial limitations, their relationships with their spouses and in-laws appear to be satisfactory.

Indeed, even if one were to live a life similar to theirs, which is ordinary and quite good, it would still be impossible to do so. One would never be able to take that initial step to get to know the other person, nor could one enter into an intimate relationship. Furthermore, one would always think about the relationship in a negative way and would be unable to get along with the other person.

Each blind date ultimately proves unsuccessful. At times, I am able to reconcile with this emotion, yet at other times, I am unable to control it. Now that I am not preoccupied with work-related matters, I find myself continuously affected by this emotion throughout the day.

There is a popular adage that posits a fundamental truth about human relationships: "Those who are destined to meet will meet after thousands of miles, while those who are not will never meet even if they are face to face."

It is unclear whether your current anxiety about your marriage is due to age-related concerns as you observe your age increasing, external pressures, or a desire to find a long-term partner. If the latter is the case, it may be beneficial to address emotional issues that are hindering the development of an intimate relationship.

Psychological theory frequently posits that emotional issues should be addressed before engaging with practical matters. Only by addressing emotions can one achieve greater focus on work. In the case of the latter, it may be necessary to investigate the underlying causes of the fear and rejection of marriage, as well as to address the trauma associated with it.

This may necessitate the involvement of additional professional personnel to assist with the resolution of the issue through the application of specialized techniques and methodologies.

It is my sincere hope that this response will prove beneficial to you. With best wishes, [Signature] [Name]

Hello, questioner!

It's a bummer to be away from home and work in a city far away from home, especially with the current pandemic situation. But you're a middle-aged young adult now, which is pretty cool. Every blind date that ends without a result is a learning experience. Stay strong!

I feel that in your family, you are quite outstanding. You can work in the city and support yourself, which is really quite good. And you can consider the whole family. From your analysis of the situation in your family, I feel that you are very responsible. I also give you a big thumbs up! Way to go!

Once we become adults, we can feel that life is really not easy. Each stage has its own pain, but the meaning of life is also to face the pain and live bravely! As you said, sometimes you can reconcile your emotions, which I think is very good. Most of the time, you should be able to reconcile your emotions. Here, I still want to give you a big thumbs up!

You said that at this stage, you are not busy at work, so these emotions are troubling you. This is totally normal! Our emotions naturally ebb and flow, and we will have low points. This is something that none of us can escape. When we are in a low mood, we can't find support in life. Sometimes we feel that we can't find a reason, and we feel inexplicable and strange. All of this is perfectly normal. Hugs again!

But I think we can think about it this way: You are in your thirties, which is the prime of life, and you should absolutely face it head-on! If the pandemic is not severe where you are, I suggest that you

You should definitely go out for a walk! You said you weren't busy at work, so it'd be a great way to learn new skills and improve yourself. Plus, we can discover opportunities for improvement as we go.

As for your parents and younger brother, I think we all have our own issues in life. It is only right to be filial to our parents, but we can only set their minds at ease and be filial to them by getting our own lives in order. Besides, your parents are probably not old yet and are in good health, and your brother should be able to take care of himself. Not to mention that you also said that your sisters are already married and getting along well with their in-laws, which is fantastic!

From what you said about the relationship between your sisters, I can tell that the atmosphere in your family is absolutely amazing! You all know how to care for each other and love each other. I think as long as you have this mutual love, no matter what difficulties you encounter in the future, you will overcome them together!

So, don't put too much pressure on yourself! Keep dating. You haven't met the right person yet, but you will! When you do, you'll be able to overcome any problem. Your time has not yet come. And you can also read more books on psychology. You have time now, don't you?

We can buy a book on intimate relationships written by Christo-phorus, read this book, or the book that says men are Venus and women are Jupiter. The choice is yours! And you can even try to learn as much as you can about psychology!

I really hope your destiny will come soon! The world and I love you so much!

Good day, question asker.

From your description, I understand that you are experiencing feelings of loneliness, anxiety/why-do-a-21-year-old-college-girl-feel-a-loss-of-freedom-in-the-past-two-or-three-years-4503.html" target="_blank">loss, and powerlessness. I commend you for your awareness and courage in addressing these issues.

The anxiety you describe is more typical of individuals over the age of 30. I also experience the concerns that accompany this age group.

In this era, there are many people who have never married and have never slept through the night. You are still in a big city, and I am in the countryside. I am also unmarried, do not own a house or a car, and my job is not ideal.

We are all ordinary people with our own set of challenges. I hope you can gain insight into why you feel this way. What prompted this feeling?

Please provide the date and context of the time you did not experience this feeling. Additionally, please describe the situation and the individuals present.

Please describe the actions you have taken to address this issue.

I empathize with your situation. As we age, we tend to compare ourselves to others, which can lead to feelings of confusion and anxiety.

I would like to request that you consider a hypothetical scenario in which a positive outcome occurs and this feeling dissipates. What actions have you taken to address this issue?

I am unaware of the specifics of your situation, but I would like to offer some general suggestions based on my own experience in the hope that they will be of assistance to you.

Firstly, adjust your mentality and cease negative emotions.

It is not uncommon to experience a range of emotions in life. However, as you have observed, the more we dislike these emotions, the more challenging it can be to let them go. If we want to make a change, it is essential to identify negative emotions and replace them with positive labels. By focusing on something positive, we can develop the strength to maintain a positive outlook. This approach provides a valuable opportunity for transformation.

Additionally, it would be beneficial to identify and pursue new interests and activities that align with your personal and professional growth.

From your description, I understand that you are seeking change and hoping to achieve something. However, your emotions have been stuck in a negative state, preventing you from moving forward. To start, we should focus on your interests and hobbies. We will identify opportunities to develop our skills in these areas and work hard to do so. This approach will help us improve ourselves. As we do so, I believe you will find greater fulfillment and experience a different kind of change.

Do not engage in comparisons with other individuals.

In life, it is inevitable that we will compare ourselves to others, seeking to understand what they have and what they have done. However, we will subconsciously emulate what others have and even take others' good deeds as our own strength, which can cause discomfort. Therefore, I ask you to stop watching and to stop following others outside. Instead, learn to observe your own progress internally. We should compare ourselves to ourselves, understanding how much progress we have made compared to yesterday and how much progress we need to make tomorrow.

It is important to learn to believe in yourself and to be more efficient in your work.

As you later stated, you feel constrained by circumstances and lack the motivation to make changes. The Y-shaped mirror can assist you in this regard because you have faith in yourself and believe that Duoduo can be a valuable asset. It's crucial to recognize that focusing on action rather than deliberation can be an effective strategy for addressing your challenges. By believing in yourself, you can overcome these obstacles and succeed.

You have sought the assistance of a professional counselor.

In the event that I am unable to establish a support network and find myself in a situation where I am unable to extricate myself, I will pursue professional psychological counseling. While this may result in the termination of the professional relationship, the assistance I receive will be instrumental in my ability to move forward.

I would like to take this opportunity to encourage you to persevere. When you are feeling low, you are welcome to visit this site to share your feelings or simply engage in conversation. It may also be helpful to identify the root cause of your difficulties and avoid dwelling on them.

Good day, landlord. I am Whale Social Worker Kiss the Wind.

Liu Shu has recently been experiencing some health issues. When he reflects on his circumstances and his current situation, he finds it challenging, particularly given that he is already in his 30s but lacks the basic necessities: a car, a house, and a family of his own. Additionally, it is concerning that his younger brother has not yet married.

It is important to note that marriage should not be rushed. If you are constantly in a hurry, it can be challenging to meet someone you truly connect with. It is essential to understand that when fate brings you together, it will happen naturally. There is no need to rush things. We all have our own paths to follow.

As the adage goes, everything will work out in the end. It is imperative to implement a change now, for example, in your work. You are aware that you should perform well, that diligent effort will enhance your abilities, and that you should strive to improve yourself. However, if you are unable to take that step despite having the intention to do so, you may achieve considerably more by taking that step.

The same can be said of relationships. Had you taken this step, you might already have a happy family. It is important to fulfill one's responsibilities at each stage of life. For instance, if you already have a good job at your age, you should consider getting married and having a place to call home.

Best wishes for success in your endeavors. (Yixinli Whale Social Worker)

Hello, question asker. I can see you're feeling confused, and I'm here to support you!

What you're going through now is related to your upbringing. Let me give you a warm hug again.

I don't know what your parents' marriage was like.

What's the relationship like between them?

If your parents' marriage wasn't a great example, you might think that marriage is the end of love.

This can lead to a rejection of marriage.

That's why you find it difficult to enter into an intimate relationship when you meet someone and get along with them.

If this is the case, it'd be a good idea to speak with a professional counselor.

Given that your current issue stems from your family of origin, I'd suggest reaching out to a professional counselor instead of an instant listener.

As for your younger brother, who hasn't married yet, don't worry too much about him. Just trust that everything will work out in the end.

If you're still unsure, I'd recommend speaking to a professional counselor.

The consultant is better able to take on a third-party perspective, maintain a non-judgmental outlook, and adopt an objective attitude. This allows her to provide more pertinent, useful, and constructive advice.

I really hope you can resolve the issue you're having soon.

That's all I can think of at the moment.

I hope my answer was helpful and inspiring. I'm the respondent, and I study hard every day.

Here at Yixinli, we love what we do and we love our customers. Best wishes!

Good day, I am writing in response to your query.

You are experiencing feelings of anxiety and restlessness, accompanied by a lack of emotional control. It is evident that you are confused and uncertain about this situation.

I appreciate that this is a confusing situation.

A careful reading of your post will reveal part of the answer, or perhaps even the whole answer. I would now like to

I will assist you in analyzing the situation.

The situation of being single in your thirties and working in a foreign country, coupled with the desire for marriage and

The desire for a family may be the initial source of anxiety.

Firstly, the anxiety expressed in the aforementioned post regarding the lack of marriage among your younger brother may also be indicative of your own concerns regarding your romantic life and future marriage.

This sentiment is a direct result of the societal pressure placed on older young people to marry.

Secondly, the material presents the sense of relief derived from the fact that your sister and younger sister are already married.

It can serve as a compensation for regret at not being married, but it also reflects the pressure that is faced in marriage.

Third, your discussion of a lack of confidence in marriage and a sense of rejection serves to reinforce the fear of marriage and the desire for marriage.

Furthermore, the emotional distress caused by repeated unsuccessful blind dates has triggered anxiety, exacerbating feelings of sadness and depression.

To summarize, you are uncertain about how to navigate intimate relationships, which impacts your dating and romantic life, as well as how to enter.

What is the best way to overcome anxiety about marriage and family?

What is the best way to break this pattern?

First, it is essential to understand your attachment pattern, as this shapes the way you form intimate relationships.

Pattern.

Let us begin with a brief overview of the various attachment patterns.

The first attachment pattern is secure.

This attachment pattern is typical of most people.

The child has a positive relationship with his mother and will seek out his mother when they are separated. When they are reunited,

This sadness and anxiety is then alleviated. In this attachment mode, parents can carefully observe the needs of their children.

The child is provided with adequate care and the parents maintain a consistent and supportive attitude towards them. The child is aware that their parents can see, understand and accept them, which instils a sense of security.

Even when separation from parents is unavoidable, children can quickly adapt and recover after a brief period of distress. Parents can foster this resilience in their children.

"It's okay, my parents will return at some point."

The second is ambivalent attachment.

When parents separate from their children, the children will display more pronounced resistance, including crying and screaming, and exhibit a high level of sadness.

Some parents' emotions are erratic, fluctuating between positive and negative states. When in a positive mood, they may offer a candy, but when in a negative mood, they may resort to a slap.

Over time, this will result in the child feeling uncertain and unable to discern the reasons behind their parents' fluctuating attitudes. They will also be unsure of how to meet their parents' expectations.

Furthermore, children who have been exposed to this environment may also display unstable emotions. This is a common occurrence among left-behind children who have been separated from their parents.

To prevent their parents from leaving, the child stops traffic, breaks free from the grandparents' grasp, and uses all his strength to beg them not to leave.

The child is aware that the parent is leaving for a minimum of one year. The distressing nature of the separation motivates the child to take action to prevent the parent from leaving.

However, when the New Year or a holiday approaches and the child is aware that their parents will be returning, they undergo a significant change in behavior. The child will act in a demanding and entitled manner, seeking the attention and approval of their parents.

Furthermore, they exhibit concern regarding the subsequent occasion of their parents' departure. "If I express my distress through crying and screaming, perhaps they will reconsider their decision to leave."

The third category is that of the avoidant attachment pattern.

In the event of a separation from their mothers, children with this attachment pattern react calmly.

This type of child displays minimal attachment behavior and exhibits a lack of emotional response, including a reluctance to cry or make a fuss. Despite this, they do engage in exploratory behavior.

This "exploration" is merely the repetition of inconsequential actions, rather than genuine interest.

Many parents are often preoccupied with work and may not dedicate sufficient attention to their children's emotional needs. Over time, children may learn to avoid their parents.

As a result, they are no longer expressing their needs, becoming indifferent to those around them, and no longer holding onto hope. This avoidance is driven by a sense of self-preservation.

These self-protection mechanisms are adopted by children to avoid emotional distress. One such mechanism is the belief that by forgetting about sadness, one can avoid feeling sad.

The fourth attachment pattern is disorganized (disordered).

Children with a disorganized attachment pattern exhibit ambivalent emotional responses when separated from their parents. On the one hand, they display reluctance.

Furthermore, they exhibit heightened vigilance towards their parents. This is due to the child's awareness that the parent they are attached to is the very person who is persecuting them.

They may intend to embrace the other person with open arms, but then shrink back or cover their mouths to muffle any sounds they make, even when they are in pain.

It may appear that the child is behaving in an atypical manner, but in reality, it is the parents' own emotional or behavioral issues that are the root cause.

The parents' lack of care and consistent scolding of the children causes the children to suffer. The children perceive a lack of love from their parents.

These four attachment patterns differ in terms of the emotions and reactions of caregivers. Additionally, the internal working models reflected in different attachment relationships vary.

This will subsequently impact the development of emotions, behaviors, personality, and cognitive abilities such as attention and memory.

It should be noted that people's attachment patterns are not fixed. During the growth process, attachment patterns will change in response to contact with different people.

This process can result in different changes, including alterations to the attachment pattern. In particular, when the subsequent growth environment is relatively stable,

If the individual experiences minimal stress and adversity and progresses smoothly in all areas, the initial insecure attachment may evolve into a secure one.

It is important to note that a person's early attachment model affects the development of their personality. As an adult, they may still exhibit behaviors that are influenced by this model.

This model is based on the following assumptions:

Furthermore, you have indicated that your perception is a pessimistic cognitive model that tends to anticipate the worst from others. Given this outlook, it is understandable that you

This pattern consistently drives individuals to distance themselves from others.

What is the best way to break this pattern?

It should be noted that both the insecure attachment pattern and the pessimistic cognitive pattern are manifestations of a subconscious rejection and disapproval of the self.

It is therefore important to consider how you can accept and identify yourself. To achieve this, you should use dynamic analysis to identify your

The experience of frustration at a certain age in terms of psychological age will resolve the issue caused by the stagnation of mental age.

My name is Counselor Yao, and I am here at Yixinli to provide continued support and attention to your needs.

Hello, I am Qu Huidong, a psychological counselor who finds it helpful to convey ideas through images.

The parents of the questioner provided loving support and guidance to raise four children, and they continue to care for the youngest child with dedication. It is a challenging yet rewarding journey.

From your description, it can be roughly inferred that the original poster is the second child in the family, although this is not explicitly stated. I would also like to respectfully propose that we consider the relationship between birth order and emotions.

Austrian psychologist Alfred Adler once suggested that the birth order of a person may have an impact on their personality. He developed a theory on the relationship between birth order and personality, which has been discussed and debated by later scholars. Despite this, the theory still has profound significance.

Further updates to this theory by psychologists have revealed that although birth order does not directly determine and influence a person's character, it can unconsciously affect the way family members behave towards that individual, especially during early childhood. This suggests that the way you are treated by your family may have shaped you to some extent.

From your question, I can roughly see how your family of origin has shaped your personality: strong independence, caring for others, following rules, striving for perfection, and a desire to be recognized and encouraged. Could you please describe the general emotions of someone with this personality?

For the most part, your situation is peaceful, yet you feel a great deal of pressure. As you mentioned in your question, you only used one sentence to describe your current situation and your plans. When you talk about feeling unable to do what you want despite your intentions, the topic turns to the situation of your family: worries, concerns, comparisons... It seems that you may have forgotten that you are a unique individual who does not have to be responsible for everyone else and does not have to live according to their model.

How might you live a more unique life?

You have mentioned that you have been in the same position for a number of years and are hoping to gain new skills in order to change your career path. This is a commendable goal, and it will undoubtedly require resilience and dedication to achieve it.

Every position has its value. It's important to remember that self-criticism doesn't help anyone. We all have areas where we can improve, but we also have unique strengths that no one can replace.

As the second child in the family, with an older sister, younger sister, and younger brother, your sense of existence may feel somewhat limited. You particularly look forward to everyone's recognition, but may sometimes neglect your real needs. You say you can't enter into intimate relationships, instinctively resisting and fearing being hurt. The root of the problem may be that we have not yet fully accepted and respected ourselves, the real, vulnerable self that needs to be seen and embraced.

It might be helpful to remember that everyone has their own stage. You may feel overwhelmed by life at the moment, but it could be beneficial to try to look at things in a different way. Living your life to the fullest without being self-deprecating could be a worthwhile goal. You have the capacity to be responsible for your own life.

I hope this finds you well. Please accept my best wishes for a wonderful day ahead.