I'm in a low mood today, and when I think about the past, it's always bad things...

The questioner: The present is good! Be grateful to have met you.

After reading your description, I can tell you're feeling pretty down. This mood is like a background to your life, influencing your thoughts and making everything seem a bit sad. Do you feel it?

I don't know what you've been up against recently or today that has temporarily given you a "cold." You don't like this version of yourself, and in this context, memories of similar situations flash through your mind, dragging you deeper and deeper.

My friend, have you noticed that your emotions are getting the better of you? It's like trying to escape from a swamp: the more you struggle, the deeper you sink.

Your current state is no different from your past state, and this state is also part of your life. The yin and yang of the Tai Chi diagram aren't entirely yang, so the presence of yin makes it complete.

Once you've accepted this state as part of you, you can start to open up to the possibilities behind the "ugly" packaging. You'll find you can take back the power that belongs to you.

No matter what you've been through, you've lived a strong life up until now, with its ups and downs. So think about the happy things you've experienced, even if it was just a delicious meal, a baby you saw on the street as you walked by, or a flower that nourished you. Or think about the feeling of relaxing and being comfortable.

Your past isn't all grey. There were many beautiful moments, weren't there?

Take a moment to slow down and enjoy some quiet time with yourself. Invite the happy self, the lost self, the successful self, the failed self, and the self in all its various states to come sit down for a cup of tea and appreciate each and every one of them. Ask yourself what kind of life you want in the future, down to the specifics of what kind of chair, how big a cup, what kind of patterned skirt...

Nobody's perfect, but we're all complete. And being complete means embracing and accepting every aspect of yourself.

I wish you the best of luck!

Hello stranger!

I'd love to give you a hug from afar! And you should definitely give yourself a hug by squatting down and leaning against the corner.

After reading your description, it seems that you feel that the world and you are rarely connected, that many beautiful things seem to have nothing to do with you, that you feel deeply lonely, and that you have even thought about ending it all with death. But you're not alone! There are plenty of people who feel this way, and you're not alone either.

First, take a deep breath, close your eyes, listen to your heart, and communicate with your subconscious.

It all starts with the letter "I"!

I am a single woman in my forties, and I'm proud of it! I have worked hard and lived seriously in this world for forty years, and I'm proud of my experience, ability, and value.

Even though I don't have a strong sense of career, it doesn't stop me from excelling at work! I deserve praise for working hard.

I may not have that many friends, but I have friends who truly care about me. And that's what matters! I'm not lonely, but sometimes I'm too busy and need to keep in touch more often.

Absolutely! Pick up the phone, get in touch with good friends, and have a long-overdue chat with the girls!

I haven't had sweet love yet, but that doesn't mean it hasn't come my way! I might regret missing out on it because I had such high expectations, but I'll never blame myself for not being brave enough. Nothing can stop the arrival of happiness! I might meet love right around the corner of a coffee shop!

Being disheartened is just a point in the day. But you can turn it around! Deal with the complexities of life and you'll forget about it. You might not be in a good mood for a while, but you'll bounce back!

The future is full of possibilities! Our lives are dynamic nodes, and each second, minute, moment, and hour holds the key to something wonderful.

Guess what! Today, you used the blue, melancholy key to unlock the door to your past sadness. But guess what else? Tomorrow, you might use the green key to open the door to another kind of happiness!

It's up to you to decide whether you're happy or not. But remember, your happiness depends on the situation you choose to define yourself by. So, don't let a sad situation define you as happy!

Good day.

As a heart exploration coach, I believe that learning is the cornerstone of personal growth.

From your description, I can discern a sense of inner loss, negativity, melancholy, pain, and helplessness.

I will not delve into the specifics of your concerns regarding your present circumstances. However, I would like to offer three pieces of advice.

Firstly, it would be beneficial to gain an understanding and acceptance of your current situation.

This will help you to think more clearly about your next steps.

You have indicated that you are currently experiencing a low mood, ruminating on past negative experiences, and expressing concerns about the future. As a single woman approaching 40, you have not yet had the opportunity to establish a romantic partnership, develop deep friendships, or cultivate a strong sense of career ambition. This lack of fulfillment has led to feelings of loss and a sense of not belonging, which are understandable given the correlation between these factors and an individual's overall sense of well-being. It is crucial to recognize that these challenges are not uncommon. Many individuals who do not have the opportunity to experience love, friendships, or a sense of career ambition tend to report lower levels of happiness. These aspects of life serve as important indicators of an individual's sense of value and purpose. In order to promote positive change, it is essential to understand and accept these underlying issues. By recognizing the suffering within, you can begin to develop strategies to address it. This process will not only provide mental energy to explore other avenues but also prevent the constant inundation of negative emotions.

Furthermore, allowing yourself to understand and accept yourself will enable you to facilitate change in the current situation. This may seem counterintuitive, but it is indeed the case because change is based on allowing for no change.

Secondly, I recommend that you adopt a rational perspective on your current situation.

Rational thinking can assist in gaining a deeper understanding of oneself and the surrounding reality.

It is important to understand that the status quo can be changed, and that you have the ability to effect that change.

When you take the initiative and act, your mindset will gradually shift. Additionally, you will recognize the underlying reasons for your lack of romantic success. Sometimes, the standards for selecting a partner are high, and at other times, you may lack the courage to pursue it. This marks the beginning of your transformation.

It is important to recognize your own abilities. Affirm your strengths, recognize your advantages, and avoid self-limiting beliefs. Everyone has advantages, and you are no exception. From your description, it is evident that you are a competent speaker. Your decision to seek help demonstrates motivation, which indicates numerous strengths. The power of time is another factor to consider. Although you are almost 40 years old, you still have significant time and energy to improve and perfect yourself.

I reiterate my recommendation that you focus on yourself and consider how you can improve your own situation.

For example, you can apply a logical approach to defining your criteria for selecting a spouse. This involves identifying objective and reasonable criteria, determining your primary, secondary, and tertiary preferences, and establishing your least important considerations. Once your criteria for choosing a spouse are no longer idealistic, you are likely to encounter a suitable candidate, leading to the potential for a relationship.

You may also wish to seek the advice of friends and family when formulating reasonable and objective criteria for choosing a spouse. This could include meeting people of the opposite sex online and offline. You may feel that there are few people your age who like you, but it is important to remember that it is never too late to start looking for a relationship. You will undoubtedly meet the right person for you in time. There is no necessary relationship between encountering good love and age, which may give you the courage to look for it.

It is also beneficial to observe the actions of women in similar circumstances who have achieved a balance between their personal and professional lives. This can provide insights and opportunities for change that may lead to a sense of fulfillment.

It is possible to cultivate both friendship and a career. However, in order to reap the rewards of deep friendship, one must be willing to interact with others. Otherwise, others may perceive a lack of interest. With regard to one's career, it is advisable to identify the type of work one enjoys and then pursue it. Allowing oneself sufficient time to do so may result in a closer alignment with one's desired lifestyle. Ultimately, it is important to recognize one's capacity to effect positive change.

Once you begin taking action, negative emotions will dissipate at a natural pace. In many cases, taking action is the most effective way to overcome negative emotions.

I hope this response is helpful to you. If you would like to discuss further, please click on "Find a coach to interpret – online conversation" at the bottom of this page. I will then be happy to communicate with you one-on-one.

Each individual serves as a source of illumination, whether posing a query or offering an answer. The words we utter have the potential to enlighten the hearts of many. This phenomenon represents a collective energy.

Good day, my name is Xin Tan and I am a coach at Fly Free. I empathize with your feelings of loneliness, irritability, distress, and sadness. It is a natural consequence of the loss of youth and the passage of time that anxiety will arise. This can result in feelings of low self-worth, self-doubt, and self-deprecation.

The desire to be seen, affirmed, understood, and accepted is a fundamental human need. This platform provides a unique opportunity for users to be seen by a vast audience of over 700,000 individuals.

1. Anxiety is an inherent aspect of the human condition. Identifying and understanding one's anxiety and its underlying needs is crucial for achieving a state of emotional equilibrium.

Our ancestors inhabited the jungle, where they were compelled to remain perpetually vigilant in order to survive, fending off wild animals.

The preceding generation of parents grew up in an environment with a historical background of relative material scarcity. They were compelled to work hard every day just to survive.

These are transmitted from one generation to the next. Even in today's affluent society, where material wealth is abundant and the necessity to earn a livelihood is no longer a pressing concern, anxiety persists. It manifests in various forms, including appearance anxiety, marital anxiety, occupational anxiety, and concerns related to childbearing and rearing.

It appears that as long as we reside in this world, new anxieties will invariably emerge. This impedes our ability to achieve peace in the present moment and to fully experience joy and beauty.

Anxiety is defined as a fear of the future, often originating from the imagination rather than real-life events. While a certain degree of anxiety can serve as a motivating factor, excessive anxiety can have a detrimental impact on one's energy levels and overall well-being. For instance, individuals experiencing depression may find themselves lacking the motivation and resilience to engage in daily activities.

Once the underlying causes of anxiety are understood and anxiety is recognized as a normal state, it becomes possible to address it effectively. One such approach is to return to the present moment.

The present moment is imbued with action, even when one merely attends to one's respiration and the sensation of life conveyed by each inhalation and exhalation. This allows one to perceive one's own existence.

Additionally, one may engage in activities such as listening to music, painting, meditation, exercise, or even cleaning. The future is constituted by each moment. It is therefore recommended to focus on what is happening in the present in order to better grasp and own the future.

2. The concept of "change" is the only constant in life. It is therefore important to take back the initiative in one's own life.

Humans are shaped by their environment. It is not possible to exist in isolation, and thus it is unavoidable that comparisons will be made between individuals. However, the act of comparing oneself to others can disrupt one's own sense of rhythm.

Each individual possesses a distinctive life trajectory. Kong Rong exemplified the characteristics of a child prodigy, while Jiang Ziya demonstrated remarkable resilience in his advanced age. When individuals engage in comparison and perceive themselves as inferior, a limiting belief may be identified as the underlying cause, namely, "I am not good enough."

As previously stated, the individual in question perceives happiness as a quality exclusive to others, while they themselves are devoid of such a state. This belief system has led to a reduction in their sense of self-worth, resulting in feelings of inferiority and a lack of belief in their own value.

The reason people experience such a high prevalence of worry is that they possess a mind. The book Jump Out of Your Head and Into Your Life assists readers in modifying their thinking patterns, adopting a novel perspective on life and the world, and achieving disparate outcomes. It is a practical and engaging tome.

It is an inevitable consequence of encountering stressful events that one will experience mood swings. One can cultivate one's "awareness" to perceive emotions in ordinary circumstances. At this moment, emotions are conveying a significant and valuable insight.

In the event of a lack of acknowledgment, the situation may be likened to that of a persistent delivery person who fails to deliver a message. In such a case, it would be advisable to receive the emotions in question in the same manner as one would greet an old acquaintance.

Each individual possesses a distinctive perception of value, a quality that is inherent to them.

One must first love oneself in order to be loved by others.

The notion that age is a limiting factor is a fallacy; rather, it is a state of mind. One can only be considered truly old when they cease to learn.

Individuals in their fourth, fifth, or sixth decade of life can still experience a high quality of life. To enhance this experience, one should engage with the external world, pursue knowledge, and cultivate personal growth. When one attains this state of being, positive outcomes will naturally follow.

The act of pleasing others is, in fact, an act of self-pleasing. As we grow and improve, we will come to understand that all good things originate from within.

It is my sincere hope that the aforementioned perspectives and considerations have provided you with a novel outlook and a broader range of options. The world and I hold you in high regard.

Should you wish to continue the discussion, you are invited to click on the link entitled "Find a Coach," which you will find in the upper right-hand corner or at the bottom of the page. I will be pleased to communicate and grow with you on an individual basis.

Hello!

Nobody's born perfect, but we can all get closer to it by making an effort to improve ourselves. This is also what helps us to cope with pain and stay motivated to keep making progress. Most people are lucky enough to find people who can help them to change direction, but some people have to work harder to find their way again.

Overprotective behavior is actually a result of fear and vulnerability.

At each stage of life, there are corresponding issues that we need to learn and grow from. If we don't, then these issues will flow to the next stage, and we'll feel more burdened. This is also why we're always feeling anxious and happy. At each stage, we start fresh as "new people." After returning from our studies and entering the next stage of life smoothly, our abilities will be enhanced. However, life will encounter setbacks. Sometimes it's brought about by external instability, such as a job change. Sometimes it comes from within, such as when our minds aren't mature enough to deal with the problems of the moment smoothly, and we'll feel distressed and anxious. For example, if we're not up to the job but are promoted to manager, the anxiety will be from within to without.

That is, when anxiety and restlessness caused by identity issues lead to mental suffering, we need to take care of ourselves, rebuild our inner energy, and reposition ourselves reasonably to better develop ourselves.

Firstly, it's important to be aware of any negative emotions you're experiencing and to try to find ways to soothe them.

I'm feeling down today. I always think about the bad things that have happened to me in the past. I'm scared that one day in the future I'll kill myself. I'm a single woman who is almost 40. When I think about the past, I've never had a loving relationship, close friends, or a successful career.

There are plenty of ordinary, happy people in this world who don't have a sense of self-worth or a sense of belonging. They have health, family, and work. In the first half of my life, someone pursued me, but I was sometimes too picky when choosing a spouse and sometimes not brave enough. So today I deserve this, but it's painful.

The questioner blames his current anxiety on his past "inaction," but there's no going back. Psychology says to distinguish between reality and focus on changing what you can. The past is what it is, and it's also a choice made of your own free will. You can't use a result-oriented approach to criticize past choices. This is obviously somewhat extreme. If you're not happy with the current result, you might want to focus more on "which part of yourself has overlooked something, causing the result to be biased?"

Once you calm down and take a step back, you'll be able to see things more clearly. You might realize that you've been afraid of making choices because you're afraid of the consequences. Or maybe you just haven't found the right marriage partner yet. This will help you understand that you're not the only one responsible, and you don't need to be too hard on yourself. You can't always make wise decisions. As you learn to let go of the things you can't let go of, you'll feel less pain.

Tip 2: Try to build a trusting and supportive relationship with others and feel the warmth.

Building a trusting and supportive relationship with others is not as easy as climbing Mount Everest, but it's not as simple as walking along a small bridge over a stream either. We need each other, so we give and receive, sharing love and warmth. This makes the relationship more interesting. As long as we try to give without focusing on personal gain, the sincerity between people will radiate out, giving the other person confidence and warmth.

Since the original poster has already identified a challenge in their life (I'm using quotation marks because this is a neutral issue, and some people enjoy being alone even though they are alone), they can try to shift their mindset and reach out to people they admire. Even if they can't find someone they like right away, they can still be friends, support, and trust each other, which is also a benefit in life.

Tip 3: Learn to strike a balance between your personal and professional lives and establish a rhythm that works for you.

In today's world, thanks to the growth of the social economy, life has become pretty convenient. In the future, more and more people will live alone. The reason is that the current social structure already allows individuals to live alone. So, being alone isn't something to be ashamed of; it's a personal choice. If this choice isn't the best one right now, you can take immediate action to change it.

From the original poster's experience, it's important to learn to control the rhythm of your own life. If you're always going with the flow, you'll lose sight of yourself and your true worth. Ask yourself what you like and what you want, set goals, and put in the work. The outcome is secondary. You'll feel better already.

Wishing you all the best!

It's easy to understand the mind, but hard to calm it. When the mind is calm, it's at peace. But when we lie in bed trying to calm down and get some sleep, we can't even do that peacefully. Every day, we're disturbed by the illusions in our dreams. We even seek medical advice to solve the problem. No matter how good the dream is—with endless glory and riches, with gold and silver—when we wake up, it's all empty.

Maybe it's because the original poster's sister has faced some challenges in the family, due to her background and other reasons, and has felt a lack of warmth at home.

We all like to look back on the past and remember the good old days. They were happy times, but they were just a moment in time. So, why not speak up and share our experiences?

It's important to remember the past, but we also need to learn to control ourselves. Otherwise, it can affect our physical and mental health, and it can make those around us worry about who will take the blame for this mistake. It can also affect your mental state, so it's probably not worth it.

Time changes every moment. It's flying by, the times are developing rapidly, technology is advancing, childhood is a thing of the past, etc. All of this is changing. So, why can't we let go and instead become overly attached? Why are we limiting ourselves to a prison?

Sometimes I also wish time could be turned back so I could start over. But that's a long shot. When we're caught in such suffering, it's all on us. We're foolish to seek trouble for ourselves.

We all want to live a good life for ourselves. This country is so beautiful, and every day is full of flavor. So, why are we still unhappy and in a bad mood? You say you are under pressure, but aren't others under pressure too?

We've got to keep moving forward because we can't go back. Why can't we take things a bit more lightly? We should learn to let go, to be kind to ourselves, to value time, to stay calm in the face of adversity, and to be at peace.

It's also important to remember to protect ourselves with a peaceful mind.

We all want to live our lives without any regrets. It's important to recognize our own strengths and identify areas where we can improve.

As we get older, we go from being childish to mature. How many sad things have happened during this process? How many times have we been criticized? We may even have hurt others. That means your pain also makes the friends around you who care about you suffer with you.

Don't you think you'll regret that kind of behavior for the rest of your life? We should try to see through life, enjoy every day, and live in the present. If we shut ourselves up every day and refuse to let go of ourselves, what are we?

Don't be self-conscious. When we feel that others are judging us as inferior, it can make us feel restless, exhausted, and even cause insomnia and nightmares. It can even make us fear running away from the world.

We need to take the initiative and embrace new opportunities with a positive outlook, while also accepting the external environment. While the past is history, it's better to shed the negative energy that hinders us with an optimistic mindset, don't you think?

We can only welcome tomorrow's sun and fill ourselves with a carefree spirit by letting go of our burdens.

Don't "fish for the moon in the water." It's just a shadow in the water, projected into our hearts. Direct your bad worries towards good and cast your unhappy hearts into the clouds.

By changing ourselves and increasing our wisdom, we can become more mature. You might ask, "We're not perfect, and we have pain. Why can't we seek comfort?"

All I can say is, "Instead of making life difficult for yourself, it's better to let go of your burdens and give yourself a comfortable feeling. You should know that the word 'comfortable'

This character is made up of the character for "give" and the character for "give." Wouldn't it be great to let go of your worries and feel a bit lighter?

Wouldn't that make you feel a lot more comfortable?

Take control of your life and make a change for the better. There's no need to force things. Even setbacks can help us accept the present. It might feel lonely, but try to keep a positive outlook. Life is short, so make the most of it.

Sometimes it's best to just let go. This isn't about running away, because you can't change what happened in the past. Things happen, and there's no going back to a certain moment and changing your decision. Being too stubborn will only cause more trouble. It's better to choose to let go and live in the present.

Don't be afraid of others. Many people always struggle with the pain of the past. We must strengthen ourselves and surpass our own imagined strength. Seeing the people around you happy, family and everything going well, seeing work go smoothly, and having a lot of villas, we cannot think like this or compare. But seeing the surface does not go deep into the situation. Happiness and suffering cannot be compared. If you see happiness every day, you will live a relaxed life. If you see suffering every day, you will be miserable every day, because you will be endlessly comparing yourself. Can this feel like happiness? This is the unhappiness of daring to pull out the root plug.

I hope that the sister of the questioner will see the value in living, and that after listening to what I have said, she will be able to find her career, her self-worth, and her own place.

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