In 3 years of minimal gains from consulting, does perseverance mean I am foolish?

Hello, question asker.

From the description above, it is clear that

You have been consulting for three years and you know you haven't achieved much.

You have a lot of resentment and grievances in your mind, don't you?

We believe there are a few reasons you're feeling this way.

First, counseling allows you to transform and develop.

This process of developing a personality restructuring and self-rebuilding perspective may be painful, but it will lead to growth.

Reason 1: If you initially consulted because of depression,

You have started attacking the counselor.

You have started to attack the counselor.

This phenomenon is called transference in psychology. I will explain further.

I believe it's possible that you transferred your anger from your parents to the counselor in your early years.

He simply cannot meet your needs.

You continued to see the counselor for three years.

This proves the counselor has skills. Otherwise, it would be difficult to keep someone engaged for so long at such a high cost.

You might think it's me who's suffering.

I believe it is safe to assume that your fate would have been very different without the support of a counselor for three years.

Your personality traits determine your current suffering.

You were initially attracted to the counselor's qualities and idealized him, which led you to fully embrace the counseling process. The counselor's warm companionship allowed you to experience the beauty of a human relationship that you had never experienced before, and you continued. However, three years of counseling made you more realistic, and the counselor's halo effect faded. Your personality traits of not refusing others and being afraid to refuse others made you persevere.

Third explanation: the counselor's professional abilities have reached their limit.

Every counselor has limitations in terms of professional competence.

As the client's inner strength awakens and grows,

The client needs a counselor with more professional competence.

You may even need to consider other schools of counselors.

In other words, the consultant's school of thought may only be able to help you up to this point and cannot continue to help you along the way. You need to consider a referral.

You need to break the deadlock.

Have a good chat with your consultant. Tell him what's on your mind, including your doubts, anger, and dissatisfaction. Ask him about your next round of counseling goals.

If you find that the consultant is unable to move the consultation forward,

If you feel that continuing the consultation is not providing you with substantial help for the money you have spent, you must stop.

What do you think? I'd like to hear your opinion.

I am Consultant Yao.

I am at Yixinli, and I always will be!

Hello, question asker. I can see you're feeling confused, and I'm here to help!

It seems like you're having some issues with depression/mild-depression-in-addition-to-psychological-counseling-are-there-any-other-solutions-6235.html" target="_blank">psychological counseling. I just wanted to give you a warm hug and let you know that I'm here for you.

You mentioned that you're seeking counseling because you've been dealing with depression for some time.

When you were feeling down, did you visit a specialist department in a Grade III hospital, like a psychiatric outpatient department?

When you were diagnosed with depression, did your doctor prescribe any medication?

Why do I ask?

As far as I know, many people who suffer from depression for a long time need to take medication.

If you need medication, then you should see a psychotherapist, not a counselor.

The difference between psychotherapists and counselors is significant.

A psychotherapist can diagnose an illness and also provide psychological counseling.

But a psychological counselor is a different animal.

A counselor can only provide psychological counseling. If you're dealing with depression, she may not be the right person to help.

You're feeling down about your current counselor because you're not sure they can help with your depression.

You might want to consider seeing a psychotherapist instead.

Maybe you've been seeing the wrong person for the past three years, which is why it hasn't been helping much.

When you find the right person to help you with counseling, your depression should improve significantly.

I really hope you can resolve the issue you're facing soon.

That's all I can think of at the moment.

I hope my answer was helpful and inspiring. I'm the respondent, and I study hard every day.

Here at Yixinli, we love you and wish you the best!