light mode dark mode
menu
Home >> Depression

In my senior year of high school, my parents never asked about my studies, and all they did was scold me for being a failure?

family neglect academic pressure cram school parental criticism self-identity confusion
readership2817 favorite10 forward31
In my senior year of high school, my parents never asked about my studies, and all they did was scold me for being a failure? By Anonymous | Published on December 29, 2024

Since junior high school, my family has not cared much about my studies. I will only be scolded and receive attention if my grades drop and I do badly in an exam. Most of the parent-teacher meetings are attended by relatives. When my parents go, they will only say that I don't study properly, that I don't work hard and just spend the family's money. I have even been scolded more than once by my family, just to get me to leave the house. I'm in my third year of high school, and now I only have 434 points. I want to go to cram school, because I have tried hard, but if I want to go to a good university, I will be scolded again, saying that I'm a spendthrift, that I don't work hard and still spend the family's money, and that I'm not qualified to study like this. I just want to know what kind of person I am, can they even say it? When I try hard, they say I'm putting on an act, that I just want praise and that I'm arrogant. Since I was malnourished as a child, I've always had narcolepsy and poor appetite. They just scold me, saying that they are bothered by the sight of me. Really, in their eyes, I'm so unbearable and so ups

Samantha Jane Nelson Samantha Jane Nelson A total of 5027 people have been helped

Hello! I'm sending you a hug.

I'm glad you asked for help. I hope my sharing helps.

Your parents' dislike, harshness, negativity, criticism, and lack of acceptance have harmed you since childhood. You have felt resentment, anger, and injustice at being unloved.

You know your parents are paying too much attention to your studies. This hurts you. You haven't told them this directly. You should.

If you can't express your true feelings when your parents hurt you, it shows you agree with how they treat you. You might think you're not good enough or don't deserve to be treated well.

The child will blame themselves for their parents' actions because they love them. This stops them protecting themselves.

Your parents' criticism and dislike of your studies is probably due to their own unresolved trauma about not being accepted by their parents in their studies. When they are not aware of this, they will unintentionally project it onto you.

Speak your mind to your parents, but don't judge them. Write in a diary about how they make you feel. This can help you feel better.

I'm Lily, the little ear of the Q&A Museum. I love you!

Helpful to meHelpful to me 478
disapprovedisapprove0

Comments

avatar
Brooklyn Davis Learning is a way to find meaning and purpose in life.

I can understand how deeply upsetting this must be for you. It sounds like you're facing a lot of pressure and criticism from your family, which is incredibly hard to deal with. You're putting in effort and still feeling like it's not being recognized or appreciated.

avatar
Scarlett Sage To learn is to open the windows of the mind to new vistas.

It's really tough when the people who are supposed to support you seem to only focus on the negatives. I admire your perseverance in wanting to improve yourself through attending cram school despite the challenges. Your desire to do better and the effort you've put in show that you're someone who cares about your future.

avatar
Isaias Anderson Time is a wheel that turns without stopping.

Feeling undervalued and misunderstood by your own family must be very painful. It's important to remember that your worth isn't defined by their words. Seeking ways to improve and trying to understand yourself better is a brave step forward, regardless of what they think or say about you.

More from Soul Share Cove

This feature is under maintenance and update.
Close