Is it a failure if you don't get into the best university? Is every choice a mistake?

Dear questioner,

I'm Kelly, a proud mom of an amazing art student! I saw your confusion today, and I'm thrilled about your excellence. Children with better grades are more likely to be happy, and I know you'll be one of them!

If I were you, I would also feel a sense of regret because of the objective factors of the exam and a little psychological problem. But don't worry! It is normal to feel depressed, and you will get through this.

During exams, when there is a lot of pressure, and those who have psychological problems fail to get into college, I have many such friends around me. Some have parents who are quite competitive and like to compare themselves with those around them, and there are also parents who only care about their children's grades and not their emotions, causing them to be under a lot of pressure during exams and ultimately lose their level of performance. But, there are also parents who are very encouraging and supportive, and who help their children to perform at their best.

[About comparisons]

Dear questioner, I understand you very well. I think it's great that you're competitive! It makes you motivated and goal-oriented. I'm just a little worried about you. You're suffering because you want to prove to others that you're not worse than they are and that you don't get recognition. In fact, we have nothing to do with others, but everything to do with ourselves.

I absolutely believe in your abilities in the future, and I know they will bear fruit!

As I write this, I'm filled with excitement to find out if the questioner has grown up being compared all the time!

What made you forget your own amazing strengths?

This also reminds me of my daughter. She grew up very smoothly, and when it came time for the college entrance exam, she didn't get into the university she wanted. I was happy that she had ideals, and I told her that not everything in life is going to go smoothly. But I also told her that the result of your efforts depends on fate—and that's something to be excited about!

I know it might sound a bit cliché, but it's the absolute truth!

In my heart, my daughter is the absolute best! She'll reap the rewards of her hard work, and the learning process has already surpassed her past self.

You are the same. The process of repeating the year has gained you so much! You've gained perseverance, persistence, and painting skills, and you've also gained an understanding of art that is all better than in the past.

Our yesterday is nothing compared to today!

[Love of art]

It's clear that the questioner is looking for guidance when it comes to choosing a school and major. I believe that the questioner is open to considering different opinions and perspectives.

I also have friends who graduated from the Central Academy of Fine Arts and Peking University and are now living their best lives as ordinary members of society. They're doing what they love, and it's working out great for them!

There are also people who have graduated from college and have been working hard to achieve their goals. The questioner should pay more attention to themselves. I personally feel that with age, experience, and a broad range of applications for learning design, being able to design is being able to create, and the future of the questioner is in their own hands, not in the mouths of others.

The questioner should first settle down and study hard. And there's no limit to what they can achieve! Even after graduating from university, pursuing a postgraduate degree is also an option. The road is long, but it's an exciting journey ahead!

Love art itself! And continuous learning is more important than school.

[Recommended book for the questioner]

I absolutely love this quote!

In fact, there is no such thing as art, only artists!

I'm so excited to share this quote from the brilliant British historian, Ernst Gombrich, in his book, The Story of Art.

Let me tell you the amazing story of Pan Yuliang!

"She spent her whole life fighting against fate, and finally broke through the shackles of fate and courageously pursued her artistic ideals."

I also read an amazing story that someone shared:

The other day, I was watching a video and saw the most inspiring thing! A mother who had successfully passed the postgraduate entrance exam. She is also very admirable. We all have the right to pursue our dreams and the right to strive to become better. No matter what your background is, the way you work hard deserves respect.

Don't be discouraged when you encounter difficulties. Think about Pan Yuliang and how she overcame adversity!

You are so wise!

[Finding the Confident Self]

Psychology is a fantastic tool that allows us to understand ourselves better. If you're still feeling confused, you can also seek professional counseling.

Or keep learning! Best of luck!

Good morning, Thank you for your question.

Despite repeated attempts, you were unable to gain admission to the desired educational institution. You perceive yourself as being of a higher caliber than your peers, yet your objective performance fell short of their expectations, resulting in a lack of recognition. This has led to feelings of disappointment and despondency.

This is a challenging situation. Please accept my condolences.

It is important to note that the significance of the college entrance exam in the Chinese context has been overstated. The notion that a single exam can shape an individual's entire future is a misperception.

It is therefore understandable that you feel aggrieved and upset that you have not performed up to your potential.

However, is the college entrance exam truly as crucial as commonly perceived?

A wealth of evidence demonstrates that this is not the case. Many ordinary schools have produced remarkable talents, and there are numerous examples of successful individuals who have left top universities and gone on to achieve great things.

It should be noted that being in the top 300 nationwide is also a noteworthy achievement, and your typical grades are also commendable, which serves as the most compelling evidence of this.

You indicate that you are unable to obtain recognition from others. However, it is imperative that you recognize your own achievements.

It is important to recognize your own efforts, achievements, and decisions.

Entering university marks the beginning of a new phase of study and hard work.

A subject that you are interested in will provide you with a stronger sense of internal motivation and will be more rewarding than a subject that others consider to be of a higher caliber.

You have selected your educational institution and area of study for a reason.

Given your decision, I encourage you to move forward with confidence and determination.

You have now reached the end of one stage of your academic journey and the beginning of another. It is natural to feel a sense of relief and relaxation after the college entrance examination.

I hope you find this reply helpful. I wish you a fruitful university experience, a bright future, and academic success.

Dear question asker, My name is Evan.

From the questioner's own description, it can be seen that the questioner's current actions are not viewed favorably by most people. This is often the case in a fast-paced society, where the focus is on immediate results and the process is often overlooked.

Such perspectives are, in fact, one-sided. Frequently, individuals exert considerable effort to pursue activities they believe to be beneficial, even in the absence of success. Nevertheless, the process of effort itself can be a valuable learning experience.

From the perspective of society as a whole, it is evident that not everyone who has achieved a successful career is from a 985 university or a renowned institution of higher learning. Many individuals who have attained global recognition have even opted to forego formal education in order to pursue entrepreneurial endeavours. It is, therefore, futile to attempt to satisfy the expectations of all individuals, as this is an inherently exhausting endeavour. Instead, it is prudent to pursue one's own aspirations and adhere to a moral compass.

At times, individuals in one's immediate circle tend to impose their perspectives on others, assuming that their views are superior and that others are mistaken. However, it is important to recognize that everyone possesses a unique perspective. There is no obligation to align oneself with the prevailing opinion and adhere to the perspectives of others.

If everyone approaches things from the same perspective, how can the world be so colorful? Some people work hard and succeed, some people work hard and fail, some people learn what they are interested in, and some people study to earn money. The most important thing is to consider the questioner's own perspective and one's own desires.

It is important to consider what one hopes to gain from one's current major. As long as one can find what one wants in it, it is not necessary to be overly concerned with the opinions of others. It is important to recognize that other people may not have the same goals and aspirations as oneself.

As the question was posed on an online forum, I can only offer the questioner a few straightforward suggestions regarding the question, with the hope that they will prove beneficial.

It is essential to gain an accurate understanding of oneself and to affirm one's identity.

It is essential for the questioner to gain a clear understanding of their identity, strengths, qualities, and abilities. One effective approach is to document these attributes in a written format, which can facilitate self-awareness, self-appreciation, and self-affirmation. For instance,

I possess the ability to engage in critical and analytical thinking.

I have my own ideas and do not conform to the prevailing opinion.

I maintain a positive outlook.

I am confident in my abilities.

Identify your own characteristics, strengths, and areas of pride, and document them in a comprehensive list. It is not necessary to complete the entire list in a single sitting; rather, you may gradually identify your strengths over the next few days and cultivate self-appreciation with a tranquil mindset. As you continue to expand upon this list, you will likely witness a notable enhancement in your sense of self-assurance.

Please provide a comprehensive list of your achievements.

Even if the subject's current grades are not satisfactory, the past also contains numerous achievements. The subject also has a multitude of achievements that can be listed, regardless of their perceived significance. These constitute a comprehensive record of the subject's achievements throughout their lifetime.

Such achievements can assist the inquirer in gaining a deeper understanding of themselves. To illustrate,

The subject consistently demonstrated academic excellence.

It is at the student's discretion to select their area of study.

I previously acquired the ability to ride a bicycle without the benefit of parental guidance.

A list of one's achievements can facilitate the recognition of one's own strengths.

It is advisable to concentrate on one's own affairs.

It is pertinent to inquire whether the opinions of others bear any consequence and whether they possess the capacity to predetermine the future of the questioner.

The future is in the hands of the questioner. The future has infinite possibilities. The questioner is the arbiter of their own destiny. Are they always right? Regardless of the chosen path, whether it is perceived as easy or not, or whether it aligns with societal development, every industry requires individuals to drive its evolution. The term "sunset industry" is a relative concept.

Provided one is able to demonstrate excellence in one's chosen field, it is unlikely that others will dispute one's status within that profession. There is no dearth of practitioners in society; however, there is a paucity of individuals who are able to develop and excel in a profession over time.

It is imperative not to flee from the situation or become disheartened. Instead, maintain focus on the chosen major and persist with determination. By continuing to work and persevere, the individual will gradually gain self-affirmation and self-appreciation.

It is important to articulate your thoughts and ideas with clarity and precision. It is essential to recognize your autonomy and to understand that your actions are driven by your own self-interest. There is no inherent problem in displaying your strengths and your areas of focus to others.

It is imperative to maintain confidence in one's abilities and qualities. There is no inherent problem with focusing on one's own affairs, as this is an effective method of navigating external opinions.

It is imperative to accept oneself.

It is recommended that individuals engage in activities that align with their interests and pursue goals that are meaningful to them. Accepting one's current circumstances and engaging in self-care when experiencing low moods are also beneficial.

It is important to pursue happiness, including through the consumption of sweet foods. These items have the capacity to elicit positive affect, which is a crucial aspect of overall well-being. It is essential to prioritize one's own happiness without causing harm to others.

It is imperative to refrain from allowing negative emotions to permeate one's life.

In the absence of external support, it is imperative to provide oneself with the necessary support. It is crucial to maintain one's position and engage in discourse with one's family when feasible.

It is imperative to assert one's own perspectives, regardless of whether they originate from family members or external sources. One has the prerogative to adhere to one's personal beliefs. It is recommended to wait for a considerable period before reconsidering, as the original poster may find that they have no regrets about relinquishing their previous tenacity.

It is my hope that this response will prove beneficial to the individual who posed the question.

From my perspective, the questioner is experiencing a range of emotions. When confronted with such a situation, it's natural to feel a degree of apprehension.

While you typically perform at a higher level than your peers, your college entrance exam scores are not as strong as they could be. This has led some individuals to question your abilities and suggest that you may not be able to succeed.

Furthermore, they question the school and major you have chosen. This suggests that you are unable to make the optimal choice for yourself.

When they questioned it, they seemed to forget that every day you are better than those who get into top art schools. However, you remember, and it frustrates you. You feel completely invalidated, but you shouldn't.

"It makes me feel like every choice I make is wrong and I'm depressed." This may be related to the questioner's statement in the text: "Due to some psychological issues, I did not perform well on the exam."

The questioner appears to be overly influenced by the opinions of others. Despite being aware of her ability to make independent decisions, she seems hesitant to do so. What are the underlying concerns?

Ultimately, the consequences of a choice will be borne by the individual who makes it, regardless of whether they align with the preferences of others. As long as the individual is willing to accept the consequences of their choice, the specific path they take is inconsequential.

"Is failing to gain admission to the most competitive university an indicator of failure? Is every decision a misstep?"

While the questioner initially sought advice, it became evident that the primary objective was to express emotions. It is uncertain whether the reading of this message has had a positive effect on the questioner's mood.

I hope my reply has been helpful and that it has provided you with some insight. Best regards,

Hello, questioner!

I need to adjust my depressed mood when there are so many opinions and suggestions from others about the school and major I have chosen. Let's sort it out together.

The questioner is a repeater, and they should choose their school and major carefully. I believe this is worthy of recognition and approval.

We can choose to set our expectations higher, whether that's for a 985 university or a "small fine arts university." This is beneficial to studying hard. After the exam, we can't afford to limit our expectations based on objective factors. Unrealistic dreams are just wishful thinking.

We chose a mediocre school, and we regret it. It doesn't live up to our ideals. When we haven't accepted the situation, we find reasons to justify our decision.

For example, I didn't do well on that exam question because of objective factors and a little psychological problem.

"I'm just as good as the people they accepted, and I should have been accepted too."

"But in normal times, getting the best grades again and again makes me feel bad about not being recognized by others."

These thoughts are all a form of mental denial. They manifest as thoughts like "If only..." and lead to mood swings when others talk about their school. They also cause people to project their own thoughts onto others. In other words, even if the other person doesn't mean it, we internally feel that 985 is more suitable for us. We also think that the other person looks down on the school we chose.

Other people's opinions are based on their own perspectives. They are all people who can speak without having to bear the consequences. If you ask them to take the exam, they will not make random comments.

Choose your major according to your own characteristics and preferences. The so-called "sunset industry" is only temporary. Whatever you study, it is not easy, and you need to persevere to learn useful knowledge.

We must accept our school and major and believe in our own choices if we want to make the most of our abilities in a new environment and learn new and useful knowledge.

You must accept your own choices and the gap between you and others. You can bridge this gap. Psychologists have found that people generally tend to overestimate themselves and underestimate others.

We must overcome our thinking limitations and transcend our egos to grow well.

University is a temporary period of adjustment to society. It is crucial to understand our responsibilities, find our values, learn how to get along with others, and resolve various conflicts in life and study. We must also possess good qualities and be physically and mentally healthy.

With these qualities and our professional knowledge, we can become independent and responsible members of society.

This is the goal of everyone's life.

I am confident that it has inspired you.

Best wishes!

Greetings. I extend to you a 360-degree embrace.

Let us begin by examining the title of your question: Is it a failure if one is unable to gain admission to the most prestigious university? Is every choice inherently flawed?

From the tone and content of the question, it can be inferred that the respondent does not align with this perspective. There are numerous instances throughout life that challenge the validity of this perspective.

For example, there are only a few top-tier universities, and a considerable number of individuals take the college entrance exam each year, resulting in a limited number of admissions. Does this imply that the remaining 99% are failures? Clearly, this is not the case.

Moreover, is every choice inherently erroneous? Individuals engage in innumerable decisions on a daily basis, ranging from the mundane selection of a lunch option to the potentially pivotal decisions regarding university enrollment and marital partner selection.

It is challenging to determine whether this particular choice is right or wrong. For instance, asserting that every choice is inherently flawed is an absolute statement that, if one is truly committed to pursuing it, is inherently untenable.

However, it seems unlikely that this will alter your perspective. After all, the option you have outlined is to take the university entrance examination, which will have an impact on our future in a certain way.

However, when viewed from a longer-term perspective, the university one attends is arguably not as significant as commonly perceived. It is understandable that this perspective may not be readily accepted in the immediate aftermath of being unsuccessful in gaining admission to one's desired institution and facing criticism from external parties.

In light of the aforementioned points, it is likely that you have come to recognize the influence of external commentary in shaping your self-perception. Without such commentary, it is less likely that you would perceive yourself as a failure or view your choice as misguided. However, in this brief exchange, you have provided numerous acknowledgements, which, in essence, are acknowledgements from other people.

You indicate that you do not receive recognition from others and that it is unpleasant not to be recognized. Therefore, your issue may not be primarily that you were not admitted to a top three university; rather, it may be that you did not meet the expectations of others and did not gain their recognition.

It is unclear who the "others" in question are, as many individuals are adept at seeking external validation. For instance, one's extended family, including seven aunts and eight uncles, may frequently inquire about personal matters such as marital status or academic performance.

It is unlikely that they are concerned with your marital status or academic performance.

Such individuals are primarily concerned with how they can present themselves and then demonstrate their perceived superiority. Frequently, this perceived superiority may be psychological rather than actual excellence.

If one desires to satisfy the casual expectations of others and hopes that one's actions will be recognized by them, it is, in my experience, a challenging endeavor. Even if one were to possess the qualities of a yuan, there would still be individuals who would not favor one's company and assert that one's preferences are superior to those of a gold.

It is evident that you are driven by a desire for external validation. Consider the potential consequences of lacking such approval. Apart from the current feelings of anger, are there other emotions that arise in such a scenario?

For example, one might consider oneself to be neither particularly proficient nor outstanding, and even less so, terrible.

The desire to seek approval from others is often rooted in childhood experiences. For instance, when children comply with their parents' or other caregivers' expectations, they are met with praise. Conversely, when they do not, they are often met with criticism or belittlement. Over time, individuals come to view the approval of others as a measure of their own value and worth.

In the event of failure to meet expectations and gain approval from others, self-doubt may ensue.

Indeed, the subject is experiencing a profound sense of internal conflict. On the one hand, there is a clear aversion to basing one's self-evaluation on the approval of others. On the other hand, there is a lack of clarity regarding how to approve of oneself.

To accept oneself is to accept one's true self and then utilize this authentic identity to enhance one's personal growth and development.

It is possible that you did not gain admission to one of the top three universities, and it is also possible that you selected a major in an industry that is in decline. However, as long as you are able to accept these circumstances, everything else is manageable. Accept the situation and then consider how you can play a positive role in this situation. It is important to remember that the future is still long, and what determines the future is your current effort, not the unchangeable past.

It is also recommended to seek the guidance of a counselor.

As a counselor, I identify with Buddhist teachings and occasionally experience depressive episodes. However, I also recognize the value in maintaining a positive outlook and motivation. I believe that the world is a beautiful place, and I encourage others to embrace this sentiment.

Greetings, I am the Yi Psychology answer Destruction and Regeneration, and I am honored to be able to connect with you on the Yi Psychology platform. I hope that my answer can provide some insight and support.

Firstly, I empathise with your situation. I was in a similar position during my secondary education, demonstrating consistent academic performance and minimal anxiety during examinations.

However, when it came to the college entrance exam, I was unable to gain admission to the university of my choice due to an inability to respond to an unscientific question that required an inordinate amount of time, which subsequently resulted in the inability to complete other questions. Conversely, some of my classmates who had previously demonstrated less proficiency were able to gain admission to reputable universities.

I extend to you a gesture of affectionate embrace.

Nevertheless, given that the situation has already occurred, it is imperative to acknowledge the reality of the situation. Regardless of one's emotional state, it is not possible to alter the outcome. Attempting to do so would be a futile exercise in time and energy. Instead, it is crucial to accept the situation and work towards the best possible outcome within the given circumstances.

Furthermore, after a considerable number of years in an academic setting, it can be stated with certainty that the decision of whether or not to attend a renowned university has no direct correlation with future success. In addition to academic excellence, a combination of robust psychological attributes, social and practical abilities, and the capacity to problem-solve effectively are indispensable for individuals to thrive in their chosen fields and navigate the complexities of modern life.

Such skills cannot be acquired in the classroom.

Furthermore, you indicated that you did not perform well on the most recent examination, and that you are experiencing mental health challenges. It is my opinion that addressing these issues during your tenure at the university will help you to avoid similar difficulties in the future.

It is this author's recommendation that, upon the commencement of your studies at the university, you endeavor to secure assistance from the institution's psychological counseling office. It is this author's further assertion that, once you have resolved the aforementioned issue, your future development will not be inferior to that of your classmates who have been admitted to renowned universities.

Ultimately, I offer a piece of advice that may be of benefit to you: "The best is not necessarily the one that suits you; the one that suits you is the best!" This also applies to those so-called "famous schools."

It is therefore inadvisable to become unduly concerned about the so-called prestigious schools.

I wish you the utmost success in your endeavors.

Could failing to gain admission to the most prestigious university be perceived as a failure?

The college entrance exam is one of the main milestones on our journey of growth, a road that many of us will take at some point. However, everyone on this road is unique, with different abilities and strengths. After experiencing the college entrance exam, everyone must make a choice in a different direction, which is the question of choosing a school based on personal strength and personal interests.

It's important to remember that every choice has its pros and cons, but these shouldn't be used as a measure of success or failure. During this journey of life, you've done your best, made the best choice for you, and that's enough.

It is understandable that you feel inferior and "unrecognized" by others because you didn't get into a top art school. This can lead to feelings of inadequacy and disappointment. It might help to take some time for yourself to process these emotions.

It might be helpful to remind yourself that you've already given your best effort during the college entrance exam, and that you've made the choice that's right for you. It's natural to want reassurance from others, but it's also important to remember that they may not have the same experience or understanding of your situation.

I would gently encourage you not to worry too much about it. Instead, focus on being the best version of yourself!

Could it be that every choice is wrong?

There is no right or wrong choice. Different choices may lead to the same result, or they may lead to different results. When making a choice, it is important to consider one's own needs, conditions, and other aspects. External opinions may also be worth considering, but they should not be the sole determining factor.

You know yourself better than anyone, so you'll make the best choice for you.

Best wishes to all the college students out there! May you find success in your new environment, gain valuable new knowledge, and have the opportunity to showcase your best qualities.

I wish you the best of luck, my dear duck. I hope you find the beautiful university campus a welcoming place.

Good day, landlord. I can discern from your message that you are experiencing a period of significant uncertainty and distress. I empathize with your situation and wish to extend a supportive gesture.

From your description, it is evident that your primary challenge is not the lack of admission to a reputable institution. Instead, your greatest obstacle is your self-doubt.

From your description, it is evident that you lack the requisite capabilities. You are highly susceptible to external influence.

Furthermore, you have a negative self-perception. In other words, you have a low self-worth.

I believe the underlying reason for not gaining admission to a top college is that you set yourself up for failure by denying your own potential.

It is not the case that you did not gain admission to a reputable educational institution because you lacked the requisite qualifications. Rather, it is the case that you did not gain admission to a reputable educational institution because you lacked the requisite qualifications.

It is essential to establish your own sense of worth and self-identity. The ultimate success of an individual is not determined by their industry, personal background, or educational institution.

These external conditions can be viewed as a bonus, rather than a determining factor in one's destiny.

Historically, certain groups were given preferential treatment in the college admissions process. For instance, an only child could receive additional points on the entrance exam, as could a child of a martyr or a member of an ethnic minority. However, despite these advantages, many children from these groups still struggled to gain admission to top schools.

It is important to note that these factors can only be considered as extra credit, as the final score in life depends on one's values and inner beliefs.

Your future is contingent upon your values and inner beliefs. It will depend on your desired personal development and the level of effort and investment you are willing to make to achieve it.

If you believe that you are unable to succeed in your chosen field, that your academic qualifications are inadequate, and that your educational institution is unsuitable, what are you prepared to invest in order to achieve your goals?

At this juncture, any investment of time or resources is futile.

If you believe that no matter what the cost, it is not worthwhile, how can you still work hard and strive for it?

It is therefore essential to identify your own value system and beliefs to ensure you are able to work and contribute in a meaningful way.

Should you require any further advice, please do not hesitate to contact me.

In conclusion, I wish you the utmost success and happiness.

Hello, question asker!

I'd love to help you in any way I can!

It's tough to give you advice on your academic future in just 300 words. But I'm still hoping we can chat and explore more possibilities together when you're feeling down or confused.

"If you do what you love, you will shine."

I'm really sorry to hear you didn't get into the top art school in the country. But don't let it get you down! If you love art and have a good foundation, there's no reason to feel depressed for too long. Your future is still in your hands. I watched a video on Bilibili recently about Gao Yanjinzi, the artistic director of the Beijing Modern Dance Company. She said some really inspiring things, and I'd love to share them with you.

She loved dancing since she was a little girl, but when she was 12 years old, she wasn't accepted into the middle school connected to the dance academy. Her mom was going to ask the teacher if she could take another chance, but she cried and said, "Why do I have to wait for other people to tell me I can dance? If they don't want me, I'll just dance by myself, in the square or by the roadside." Of course, after not being accepted into the middle school connected to the dance academy, she had to work even harder to do what she loved until today, and she's done better than many people!

[Self-recognition is the most important thing]

As you mentioned, it can be really tough when we don't get the recognition we feel we deserve from others, especially during those tricky teenage years when we're still figuring out who we are. The college entrance exam didn't go your way, but it's also a chance to start an exciting new chapter in your life as you embark on your journey towards adulthood.

You know yourself best, so you get to define your own path for the future. That's great! You said your grades are better than your classmates'. How did you do it? What are your strengths? What are your areas of expertise? If you apply these to your university studies and life, will they help you continue to excel?

No matter what anyone else says, your own voice is the most important thing in the world.

Taking the initiative is all about having the courage to take responsibility.

[Taking the initiative to make a choice means having the courage to take responsibility, and we all need a little courage sometimes!]

I don't know if you've ever played a game with multiple endings, where there are countless forks in the road and seemingly different directions to take, ultimately leading to several endings that are somewhat different. Sometimes, even if individual choices are different along the way, they still lead to the same result.

Life is the same. Every time you make a choice, it means you are ready to take responsibility for the consequences. This requires courage along the way. For example, if you choose to repeat the year to give yourself another chance at the college entrance exam, or if you choose to major in design at an art college, there is no right or wrong in these choices. The people and events you experience in these choices will all be part of your unique life, and that's a wonderful thing!

I really hope that the original poster will keep on improving in the direction they like in college and that their future will be really bright!

Hello!

I'm a heart exploration coach, and I believe learning is the body's greatest treasure.

From what you've said, I can tell you're feeling pretty down, unsure of yourself, confused, uncomfortable, in pain, and helpless.

I'm not going to get into the nitty-gritty of why you're frustrated about not getting into the best university. But I do have three pieces of advice for you:

First, I suggest you try to accept your current situation.

Doing so will make your heart feel slightly lighter, which will help you think about what to do next.

You say you're an art student, but you didn't get into the top art school in the country this year, and many of your classmates did. Your grades are better than theirs, but you didn't get in, which shows you're not better than them. Later, you applied to the "little art school" and the design major, and people told you that you made the wrong choice, which made you depressed. It's understandable because everyone wants to be recognized and affirmed by others. Not to mention that your grades are better than theirs, but you didn't get into a good school, so you're depressed and uncomfortable. I suggest you accept your state of mind and "see" the uncomfortable, self-doubting self within you. This will give you mental energy to think about other things, otherwise your mind will be filled with negative emotions.

It's also important to accept your current situation if you want to make changes. It might seem a bit contradictory, but that's how change works: you have to allow for change in order to make it happen.

Secondly, I suggest you take a rational look at your own situation.

Rational thinking can help you understand yourself and reality better.

To look at things rationally, there are two things you need to do:

One thing to keep in mind is that getting into a top art school in China is definitely a win, but not getting into the best university is not a failure.

A person's success or failure isn't defined solely by which university they get into.

As Wu Zhihong puts it, there's only one kind of success in life: living your life according to your own wishes.

This is also what makes a person happy.

So, if you choose the university and major you want to study in according to your own wishes, that's your own kind of success.

Second, remember that life isn't about competing with others. It's about competing with your own ideal self.

In your description, you said that you want to prove that you are better than them. It's understandable that you want to prove yourself through comparison and gain the approval of others because competitiveness and a desire to compare are human nature. However, life is not a competition with others, but with the ideal self.

We need to focus more on ourselves and think about how we can improve.

If you look at it this way, some of those negative feelings might start to fade away.

Once again, I suggest you focus on yourself and think about what you can do to feel better.

For instance, you could ask yourself whether you truly agree with what they're saying about you. Or you could ask yourself what led you to make that initial decision.

This kind of self-examination can help you figure out which choice is your "will," the one that'll make you feel better. If you think about it rationally and realize that your decision to apply to a small art college and major in design was your true inner choice, you should stick with it. After all, it's your life, and you need to be the one to make the decisions.

If you're feeling down because you didn't get into a good university, you can learn to view yourself from a developmental perspective. When you look at your life as a whole, you'll see that your school choice isn't the be-all and end-all. You can also look at it dialectically: does attending a top art school mean you don't need to work hard? Of course not. Success or failure still depends on one's own abilities. You can still do well at a small art school, and you can also fail to learn at a top art school. After thinking about this, you may feel better.

It can also help to talk to your family and friends about how you're feeling, as they can provide a supportive and healing environment.

You can also make specific plans for your initial choices. This kind of outlook not only gives you a sense of purpose, but also makes you feel better because your attention is focused on the future. And so on. In short, you need to know that you can do something to improve the current situation.

When you start taking action, the various negative emotions in your heart will naturally start to dissipate. Sometimes, taking action is the best way to combat these negative emotions.

I hope my answer helps. If you want to talk more, just click "Find a coach to interpret – online conversation" at the bottom, and I'll chat with you one-on-one.

Hello question asker!

I'll give you a hug.

I read your account and have some ideas that might help.

Is it a failure to get into the best university? Is every choice a mistake?

Of course not.

Going to the best university doesn't guarantee a good job. Those who don't get in won't necessarily do badly. Some people will be depressed because they didn't get into a good university and will lose confidence in their future.

You can find a good job with your abilities even if you don't get into a key university.

University is not the only way out. It depends on the person.

Good grades don't guarantee a bright future. Some people with good grades went to good universities but then became addicted to games and struggled in life. After graduating, they didn't learn anything and couldn't find a job.

Many people who didn't do well in school have become capable and successful through hard work.

A person's whole life is long. One exam doesn't define you. Gold shines wherever it is.

In the future, you will face many challenges and choices that will affect your future.

Your background, opportunities, and talent help you develop. So do your attitude and courage in facing life. You also need to be optimistic, positive, brave, confident, self-disciplined, and self-reliant. And you need to persevere and work hard.

If you still think your college entrance exam results and academic qualifications are the best things about your life, but you don't have any achievements to show for it, it would be embarrassing to say so.

You can take postgraduate and doctoral entrance exams to get into a better school. Many outstanding people graduated from prestigious schools.

Not getting into university is not scary. What is scary is being too stubborn to find your own path.

Come on, hard work is always the answer. You'll shine in the future.

?‍♀️These are my views and suggestions. I hope they help.

I'm Xiaobai. I love you.

Best wishes!