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Is my girlfriend genuinely interested or just giving me lip service?

fatherlessness maternal abuse adoptive aunt financial independence boyfriend relationship
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Is my girlfriend genuinely interested or just giving me lip service? By Anonymous | Published on December 18, 2024

She grew up without her father, who was absent, and her mother had a tendency towards abuse, often hitting or scolding her. She had been expelled from home by her mother. Later, her parents divorced over this issue, and since her father was often away driving trucks and couldn't take care of her, he entrusted her to her aunt for adoption until she graduated from junior high. Later, due to limited financial circumstances, she worked independently. Until then, they had been acquaintances for a few months and had become boyfriends and girlfriends, but neither of them really knew her; her friends had never met her. She was known for her ability to do any job and travel to many places, with a wide range of experiences. She visited her aunt's house during the New Year, where the family situation was good, and her aunt was friendly and approachable, seemingly honest. However, after four months of being together, the first month was filled with frequent phone calls and numerous WeChat messages. Later, due to financial troubles that caused significant losses, I also helped her out, but after this issue arose, there were almost no phone calls, and WeChat conversations were sporadic. She only visited her aunt's house for a few days this year during the New Year, and she mentioned wanting to give me a clear answer, indicating that she wanted to be with me, but she treated me very coldly, showing no concern and no knowledge of what she did during the day. There were no phone calls for any holiday, and even a dinner had to be scheduled well in advance. I would like to consult, based on the information provided, what situation does she have with me: is she genuinely interested in being with me, just making it up, or is her economic situation really affecting us?

Isaac Jeremiah Bailey Isaac Jeremiah Bailey A total of 4051 people have been helped

Hello! I'm happy you're asking for help.

I hope this helps.

You still care about your girlfriend and want to continue with her. You want to love/what-should-one-do-if-parents-have-a-very-poor-relationship-with-their-beloved-elder-sister-and-who-should-one-support-8026.html" target="_blank">support her and care for her.

If she treats you badly, you don't say how you feel. You just expect her to change. But you don't ask yourself what you can do to change things.

You know she's lacked love and security, so she doesn't value you. She's never been treated this way. You treat others the way you're treated.

In your relationship, try to give her what you want her to respond to and treat you with. This will help her feel loved and then she may respond to you. What do you think?

Love is about fulfilling her and wishing her well.

I'm Lily, the Q&A Museum's little ear. The world and I love you.

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Comments

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Trace Davis Industrious people are the painters of their own masterpieces.

I can see that you've been through a lot, and it's clear you're trying to understand where you stand in this relationship. It seems like her past has had a profound impact on her life, which might be affecting how she interacts with others, including you. It's possible that her economic situation is putting a strain on your relationship, causing her to pull away emotionally. Relationships can be complex, especially when one person is dealing with personal and financial issues. It's important to have an open and honest conversation about both of your feelings and expectations.

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Ricky Thomas Teachers are the catalysts that speed up the process of students' intellectual development.

It sounds like there are many layers to her life experiences that could be influencing her behavior. Her upbringing, the lack of parental support, and the financial struggles might all contribute to her distant attitude. Maybe she feels uncertain or insecure about the future, which could be why she's not as present as you'd like. If you haven't already, try discussing these concerns with her; understanding each other's perspectives can be crucial for moving forward.

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Xenia Thomas The difference between a success and a failure is often the tenacity to keep going after setbacks.

The way she's acting could indeed be influenced by her economic situation, but it's also possible that she's struggling with emotional intimacy due to her past. People who grow up in unstable environments sometimes find it difficult to maintain close relationships. It might help to explore whether she's willing to seek support, such as counseling, to work through some of these challenges. In the meantime, being patient and offering support without pressuring her could make a difference.

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Aldrich Thomas Time is like a river. You cannot touch the same water twice, because the flow that has passed will never pass again.

Her actions suggest that she might be overwhelmed by external factors, particularly her financial troubles. When someone is under a lot of stress, it can affect their ability to connect emotionally. The fact that she mentioned wanting to be with you but then behaves coldly indicates that there might be internal conflict. She may genuinely care about you but is having a hard time expressing it. Try to create a space where she feels safe to talk about her feelings and concerns, and perhaps together you can find a way to navigate through this tough period.

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Howell Davis A person without honesty is like a well without water.

From what you've described, it seems like her behavior could be a combination of genuine interest and the effects of her challenging circumstances. People often withdraw when they're facing difficulties, not because they don't care, but because they're unsure how to handle everything. The lack of communication and the cold treatment might be her way of coping with the pressure. If you feel comfortable, consider having a heartfelt conversation about the state of your relationship and how you can support each other during this time. Sometimes, just knowing that someone is there for you can make all the difference.

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