Is my husband losing interest in everything and everyone, could it be depression?

The situation you describe is indeed worrying, but there is hope! Your husband's loss of interest in everything and listless demeanor, combined with long-term smoking, health problems such as diabetes, and life setbacks, could be signs of depression.

Depression affects more than just mood. It also has a significant impact on physical health, relationships, and daily life. But don't worry! Here are some suggestions to help you and your husband:

Get your husband the help he needs! It's time to get him the professional help he deserves. Depression can be alleviated with the right treatment, which may include psychotherapy and/or medication.

It's so important to understand depression. When you know the facts about depression, its symptoms, and treatments, you can be a better support to your husband. And remember, depression is a medical condition, not a matter of personal willpower.

Offer support and understanding! Be there for your husband and show him you care. Let him know he's not alone and that you're in this together.

Encourage a healthy lifestyle! People with depression can benefit from a regular routine, a healthy diet, and moderate exercise. Encourage your husband to cut down on smoking and adopt a healthier lifestyle. This will improve his mood and overall health!

Seek family support! You may also need support yourself. Consider joining a family support group or seeking counseling to learn how to take care of yourself while caring for a family member with depression.

Be patient and hopeful! The treatment of depression may take time, but you will see improvement in your husband's symptoms. Stay patient and maintain a positive and hopeful attitude towards treatment.

You are not alone in this! Seeking professional help and an appropriate support network is an important step for both you and your husband.

Hello, question asker!

From your description, I can sense your inner confusion and helplessness. At the same time, you have a very good ability to perceive this uncomfortable emotion, and it is admirable that you are courageous enough to face it.

From your description, it seems that your husband, who is 46 years old, had some financial difficulties and health challenges in his youth. He has since become somewhat less active and has expressed a preference for bathing less frequently. Despite your efforts to provide care and support, you have noticed a shift in your relationship with him. He seems less engaged with his surroundings and activities, which has led you to wonder if he may be experiencing depression. Could you please elaborate on these observations?

From your description, I sense a certain inner conflict. On the one hand, you are very caring for your husband, but on the other hand, you are somewhat uneasy about some of his states. However, you are very worried about him.

You seem to be feeling a bit overwhelmed.

It might be helpful to remember that everyone has a tendency to be depressed, which is related to our state of life. Depression can manifest in many ways, and it's important to recognize that it can occur even when we're not feeling lazy or in a bad mood. It's also helpful to know that depression is classified as mild, moderate, and severe, which provides a framework for understanding and addressing it.

It might be helpful to observe some other things as well, such as how your husband's sleep quality is, what his diet is like, how his usual communication with others is like, and whether he has any somatic symptoms.

Based on your description, I feel I can offer some advice that I hope will be helpful.

If it is an option for you, I would suggest that you consider taking your husband for psychological testing and counseling. You can go to a public hospital, which is a relatively low-cost option, and a professional diagnosis and treatment may be beneficial for him.

Secondly, I understand the challenges you're facing. I also recognize that you're a dedicated individual who strives to provide care and support to your husband. However, some of his actions have caused you disappointment and reluctance to connect with him deeply. It's understandable that you're feeling anxious and concerned given his current demeanor. During this time, I believe it's important to recognize that you have the ability to influence your husband's behavior by adjusting your own mindset and developing inner strength. While it's not possible to change another person's behavior, we can influence it by changing ourselves. Gaining a deeper understanding of psychology can help you build inner strength and confidence, which in turn can gradually influence your husband's actions.

For instance, you might consider reading more psychology books or listening to psychology public welfare courses. This could be beneficial for both you and him.

You might also consider communicating with him more. Talking to him, helping him find positive experiences, and offering encouragement could be beneficial. It may also be helpful to see what kinds of things he enjoys doing and encourage him to do them with you. Over time, this could help him recover a little.

It is also possible that motivation may help in this regard.

You might also consider encouraging him to exercise more. This could be anything from doing housework to going for a walk, running, climbing a mountain, and so on. During exercise, our brain secretes dopamine, which produces a sense of pleasure and helps us eliminate uncomfortable emotions and restore our inner strength.

I would also like to take this opportunity to say that he is very fortunate to have met you, someone who is very responsible and committed to him. Please also believe that each of you has the strength and is an expert at solving your own problems. As long as you don't give up and keep looking for a breakthrough, I am sure you will be able to lead a happy life with ease and comfort.

1. Analysis of your husband's behavior

From what you have described, it seems that your husband may be experiencing some psychological distress and challenges. Here are some psychological factors that may be involved:

1. Depression: As you mentioned, a lack of interest in things, becoming listless, and losing interest in activities you used to enjoy are all common symptoms of depression. Depression is a mental health problem that can lead to low mood, depression, and a loss of interest in life.

2. Financial difficulties: It is worth noting that financial difficulties can potentially have an impact on a person's psychological state. Financial stress has the potential to trigger feelings of anxiety, stress and low self-esteem, which in turn can affect mood and behavior.

3. Gambling Problem: It is possible that your husband's gambling addiction may be related to internal psychological factors. It is not uncommon for gambling addiction to stem from psychological needs such as seeking stimulation and escaping from reality. However, it is important to note that long-term and excessive gambling behavior may lead to financial difficulties and family problems, which in turn may increase the psychological burden.

4. Frustration of self-esteem: You mentioned that he feels inferior due to financial difficulties and gambling problems, which may lead to a frustration of his self-esteem. It is possible that a damaged self-esteem may trigger negative emotions such as depression, anxiety and a sense of inferiority.

It is important to note that only an assessment and diagnosis by a professional mental health expert can determine specific psychological distress and problems. It may be helpful to encourage your husband to seek help from a professional counselor or psychiatrist in order to obtain an accurate assessment and the most appropriate treatment plan.

2. Analysis of the questioner's mentality

You mentioned, "I don't want to get close to him, but I'm worried about him. On the one hand, I feel pity for him, but on the other, I have some reservations about him. I often buy him clothes, shoes and socks, and cook and do the laundry for him, but I don't want to get close to him. It seems that he is just surviving for the sake of his parents and children, without any interest in life."

This conflict of emotions is something that we can look at in more detail together. I'd like to offer a more detailed explanation:

It is possible that you may be experiencing a conflict between two very different emotions: sympathy and disgust. These emotions may have their roots in your perceptions and experiences of this person. Sympathy may come from a place of understanding and empathy for his situation, and a desire to help him find a way out.

It is also possible that his behavior or attitude may have triggered your negative emotions, causing you to feel disgusted and alienated. This conflict of emotions may reflect the complexity and ambivalence of your evaluation of him.

2. Guilt and responsibility: It is possible that you feel a sense of guilt and responsibility because you recognize that he is facing a challenging situation and believe you have the capacity to provide tangible assistance. You may feel a sense of obligation to offer him support, yet you find it challenging to fully accept him or establish a close, intimate relationship with him.

It is possible that this guilt and sense of responsibility may have increased your emotional conflict, which could leave you feeling confused and anxious.

3. Dissatisfaction with his living conditions: You mentioned that he seems to be living a life of survival, having lost the joy of living. This may make you feel dissatisfied or disappointed, because you hope that he can face life positively and have a better quality of life.

It is possible that this resentment or disappointment may affect your emotional communication with him, making you indifferent or detached towards him.

3. Psychological Adjustment Suggestions

In light of the situation you have outlined, I would like to offer some suggestions for navigating this emotional conflict and providing psychological adjustment.

It might be helpful to explore your emotions. Try taking some time to reflect on and explore the relationship between your feelings of disgust and compassion for him. You might also find it beneficial to ask yourself why you dislike him so much and whether there are past experiences or beliefs that make you feel negatively about him.

It may also be helpful to consider the reasons behind your feelings of sympathy for him, including his situation and needs. This process could assist you in gaining a deeper understanding of your emotions and finding a healthier balance.

It is important to accept that you have complex emotions and that you are not to blame for feeling disgusted towards him. This does not mean that you are a bad person, but rather that you are facing a complex emotional conflict.

It may be helpful to reduce self-blame in order to deal with these emotions more calmly and find solutions.

It may be helpful to set personal boundaries. Being clear about your bottom line and comfort level can help you determine what you are willing to do for him and what you are not willing to get involved with.

This will enable you to protect yourself while providing appropriate help and support.

4. Establish positive communication: It may be helpful to communicate with him openly and honestly. You might consider expressing your concerns and worries about him, as well as your confusion and disgust about his behavior.

By communicating in a positive manner, you can gain a deeper understanding of each other's needs and feelings, which may lead to the discovery of common solutions.

It might be helpful to seek professional support if you feel you are having difficulty coping with these conflicting emotions, or if they begin to have a negative impact on your life. A counselor or social worker can provide more in-depth guidance and support to help you process your emotions and reduce anxiety and confusion.

6. Consider developing other relationships: In addition to your relationship with him, it may be helpful to connect with friends, family, or other community members to share your feelings and experiences, and seek support and understanding.

7. Develop self-care: It is important to remember to take care of and attend to your own emotions and needs. Try to allow yourself reasonable rest time, participate in activities that can relax and entertain you, and cultivate the ability to care for and satisfy yourself.

Please note that the above suggestions are for reference only. As every situation is unique, the most appropriate treatment method will depend on your own circumstances and needs.

If you are feeling uncertain or overwhelmed, it might be helpful to seek guidance from a professional. I wish you the best of luck in finding a balance and solutions that work for you.

Dear questioner, I empathize with your confusion and worries. Faced with this situation, your feelings are complex and contradictory. It is not uncommon to feel conflicted and to experience internal struggles. It is also possible that your husband is experiencing internal struggles. His behavior and emotions may be symptoms of depression, or they may be a way to cope with the stress in his life.

Depression is a common mood disorder that affects an individual's emotions, cognition, and behavior. It is not merely a state of sadness or loss; rather, it is a complex emotional condition that may present with a range of symptoms, including persistent sadness, loss of interest, decreased energy, changes in sleep and appetite, and a diminished sense of self-worth.

You indicated that your husband has diabetes, which may also impact his emotional state. Diabetes is a chronic disease that necessitates strict dietary control and potentially medication, which can induce stress and anxiety in patients.

Furthermore, individuals with diabetes may encounter complications such as neuropathy, which can impact their emotional state and sexual function.

Furthermore, you indicated that your husband has a history of gambling and tardiness, which may be a means of evading tangible concerns. Gambling may serve as a coping mechanism for stress and anxiety, while tardiness may indicate a slower rate of emotional and psychological development, potentially impacting his interpersonal relationships and self-identity.

Your care and attention for your husband, such as purchasing clothing, preparing meals, and laundering his clothes, demonstrates your love and support for him. However, his reluctance to engage in sexual intimacy with you may be attributable to his behavior and emotional state, which causes you discomfort.

Such conflicting emotions are not uncommon, particularly when one is dealing with the mental health of a loved one.

In this case, it is crucial to urge your husband to pursue professional psychological counseling and medical assistance. It is also important to communicate with him and express your concerns as his wife.

Furthermore, it may be beneficial to attempt to enhance his lifestyle habits, such as encouraging him to smoke less, improve his personal hygiene, and adopt a healthier lifestyle. Concurrently, it may be advantageous to engage in activities together to cultivate shared interests and topics, which may facilitate the improvement of the relationship.

It may also be beneficial to seek external support, such as through a support group or by discussing your concerns with friends and family. It is important to remember that self-care is an essential aspect of caring for others. Your feelings and well-being are valid and deserve attention.

Good day. I am Gu Daoxi Fengshou, a heart exploration coach.

The questioner's experience is very distressing. Please allow me to extend my sympathies to the questioner.

Diabetes is a disease that may not have a cure. It can be a significant burden for anyone, and it is not uncommon to experience negative emotions and a negative attitude.

It would be beneficial to ascertain whether the questioner's reluctance to form a close bond and their revulsion towards the other person is a direct result of their illness, their smoking habit, or the emotional distance caused by the accumulation of grievances within the marriage. By identifying the root cause of these emotions, the questioner will be better equipped to respond in a more targeted manner.

Please clarify whether the questioner's concern and pity for the other person is driven by kindness or compassion.

It would be beneficial to ascertain whether this is still out of a sense of responsibility within the marriage. Attempting to discern the nature of the emotions may assist the questioner in understanding their own inner desires.

What is the questioner's attitude towards her husband's mental health? Is it as a mother, or as a wife and partner?

What type of solution are you seeking? It would be beneficial to focus on your own feelings initially, as this may help clarify your feelings towards your husband.

The time criterion for depression is negative emotions lasting for more than two weeks (quoted from the Internet). The questioner may assist her husband in making an auxiliary judgment based on the corresponding depression self-assessment scale and, if necessary, seek professional psychological counseling.

Following a significant setback, individuals may experience a shift in perspective, characterised by negativity and slowed thinking. This can be attributed to uncertainty about the purpose of life, concerns about familial obligations, and reflections on past events that may have gone awry. It is essential to allow for a period of information processing. The questioner may consider allowing her husband some space to process the situation.

It is recommended that you communicate with your husband. In addition to daily care, a patient requires emotional support. At this time, support from a loved one may provide him with additional strength and confidence.

If professional counseling is not a viable option due to financial constraints, alternative avenues for emotional support may be explored. This could include seeking a listener, a heart exploration coach, or reading relevant literature, such as "Burns New Emotional Therapy," "Maybe You Should Talk to Someone," "How to Live a Life You Don't Have the Final Say in," "Accepting Imperfection," and others, to assist your husband in adapting.

In addition to medication, diabetics must also prioritize dietary adjustments. Providing support and attention in their daily lives and addressing their psychological needs may assist them in managing their condition more effectively.

It is challenging to be a patient, and it is even more challenging to be a patient's family member. Please accept my condolences and allow me to extend my support to the original poster. It is essential to prioritize your well-being to ensure you are in the best position to provide the necessary care for your husband.

Best regards,

I hope my answer is helpful to you.

From your description, it's clear that he's uninterested in everything and always looks listless. It seems like he's just surviving for the sake of his parents and children, without any interest in life. Have you ever heard him talk specifically about his mood and feelings?

If it is depression, you must see a doctor and be diagnosed by a professional psychiatrist. If it is serious, you will need medication because depression is no different from physical illnesses such as pneumonia or the flu. If you can be treated actively, you can recover.

I advise you to:

Have an honest chat with your husband and listen to his inner voice. If he wants to get better, he should seek professional help. This is a display of courage and wisdom, and it is also more conducive to his recovery.

He smokes more than two packs of cigarettes a day and stinks. It's likely that the stench comes from smoking, but it could also be from not washing his hair and body for a long time and not taking care of his personal hygiene. In any case, smoking is used to relieve stress because he doesn't know any other way to help himself relieve stress. If the stench comes from not washing his hair and body for a long time, it is likely because his willpower has declined and he has become less active in his behavior. This is indeed one of the characteristics of depression.

However, only a professional diagnosis by a specialist psychiatrist can determine whether it is really depression. There is no reason to be afraid or ashamed. Depression is a disease that needs treatment. The more active the treatment, the better the recovery. Being able to actively seek professional help is a sign of courage and wisdom.

Have a frank chat with him. Listen to what he thinks and what his recent feelings are. Express your concern and worry for him. Express your hope to be able to give him whatever help you can. This is a kind of support for him.

2. As a wife, you can help improve his condition by giving him the support he needs.

You are a very strong support for him, and you have been giving him the help you can. You often buy him clothes, shoes and socks, cook for him and do his laundry. These daily cares will make him feel warmth and love. At the same time, we can also give him some psychological support, for example, seeing how hard it is for him, understanding his difficulties, giving him trust and encouragement, telling him that temporary failure does not mean that he will always fail, and also asking him what specific support he needs from you. Then, we give him the help and support you can, which will definitely bring him support and warmth, and this will also help his condition improve.

3. You can help him recognize the positive aspects of life and the resources he has. You can also help him accumulate energy and gradually get out of the predicament.

He is under a great deal of pressure and emotional distress that needs to be released. Whether it is physical illness or the feedback from family, work, and life, he finds it very difficult. At this time, his perspective will also focus on the negative aspects of affairs, and he will feel that life is meaningless. This is not the case. Life still has a lot of positive aspects, and he still has a lot of resources. He now needs to accumulate energy, accept his current situation, and then see more of the resources and positive aspects he has, use his strengths, and give full play to his value. He can gradually build up inner strength and allow himself to have more trust in himself.

This will undoubtedly be challenging for him. However, if he can combine psychological counseling with his own self-growth, or participate in some professional psychological salons and supportive groups, he will be able to continuously accept and understand himself, see and recognize himself, accumulate energy and strength, and eventually gradually get out of the predicament.

Additionally, it is crucial to identify beneficial ways to release his emotions. This could include seeking professional advice, finding individuals who can understand and support him in discussing his feelings, or engaging in physical activities that help relieve stress and anger. Writing is also an effective method for processing emotions and developing a positive mindset. Allocating half an hour daily to writing can be highly beneficial.

You may find the above information useful. Best wishes!

Hi, I'm Qu Huidong, a psychotherapist who can help you understand your emotions better.

The husband the questioner observed seemed to have lost interest in everything, and it's suspected that he may be depressed. I hope that everyone can help confirm this through your description. Our body and mind are connected, and emotions such as restlessness, anxiety, nervousness, irritability, depression, and fear also affect our bodies.

It's great that the questioner is looking at both physical and mental health. However, it's important to understand why a depression diagnosis is needed.

I'm still looking for a way to help my husband. First, we need to understand his current physical and mental condition.

I saw that the original poster said her husband is diabetic. We know that because there's no insulin, diabetics can't absorb the sugar in food, so it's excreted in the urine.

Sugar is a symbol of love. People who have unmet love needs may crave sweet foods. However, diabetics can't absorb sugar into their bodies. The deeper psychological interpretation is that on the one hand, there is an emotional longing for love to be fulfilled, and on the other hand, an inability to accept love, which prevents it from reaching the innermost self.

The questioner takes care of her husband's diet and clothing, but her body is left out of the equation. A husband-and-wife relationship without physical intimacy is not enough. Love is not enough. It is quite challenging for both you and him.

There are lots of different psychological factors that can cause diabetes. These include going through major life events like unemployment, bankruptcy, or bereavement; not having lots of social relationships or social support; and feeling insecure, having an immature personality, or lacking self-confidence. So, in addition to the usual medical treatment, combining psychological intervention with the usual medical treatment can help the healing process.

I don't know if my psychological explanation of the causes of diabetes can help you understand some of your husband's current emotional state. It would be best if he could accept direct psychological counseling. You can start by making appropriate adjustments to cognition and behavior to improve symptoms. If he is not yet aware of the need for psychological intervention, you might as well start counseling. You must have a lot of grievances, anger, and powerlessness in this relationship that need to be heard and seen. If your mental health is supported, there is a better chance of improving family relationships.

All the best!

Hello, I am ZQ, a heart exploration coach from the Yixinli platform. You have correctly identified that your husband is depressed. He is uninterested in everyone and everything, and there is a wealth of factual evidence to support this. Let's take a closer look.

He is currently listless and unmotivated socially. You still need to help him financially.

He doesn't seem to have any particularly interesting hobbies. I want to know if he can maintain a basic three meals a day in terms of his daily diet.

We need to pay attention to whether his sleep is affected and whether he is always in a low mood. We shouldn't casually label people, but we need to be vigilant. If it is really depression, then we must address it, because some people may encounter setbacks in life.

For example, he may be experiencing a midlife crisis. It is important to recognize that this can lead to depression. As a family member, it is your responsibility to help him pull himself together. Despite his past mistakes, he still has the potential to succeed. When he was younger, he struggled to mature. He enjoyed playing and gambling, and he smoked more than two packs of cigarettes a day.

Smoking is bad for your health, gambling is a waste of money, and it can even make your diabetes worse and affect your sex life. Gambling can also make you neglect your work, and your financial situation is not as good as your peers. Then, when you add all of that up, you can end up feeling pretty useless.

A man who doesn't have a good body can't catch up with others because health is the foundation of revolution. A man's financial status is the lifeblood of his success. If a man doesn't have money, he can't hold his head up in many places. This is something he needs to address.

He must take care of his health and then focus on making money. It doesn't matter if it's a stable, low-risk business or just earning an honest living—he needs to work on it. He looks listless and uninterested, which also means he may be in a low period.

He needs to wake up and find opportunities for breakthroughs. He can start by quitting smoking or giving up mahjong. He should start with small things in daily life, including slowly involving him in daily family affairs, decision-making, or some of the daily housework.

He needs to develop some good habits, such as a sense of family participation, reading more books or watching financial videos that are helpful to him, to help him find his own inspiration. He should never give up the idea of hard work, as long as he is still of working age. I recommend that he seek psychological counseling. He will succeed!

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