It always goes back to the same old thing, and the day has begun again, still not knowing what to do?

Dear question asker,

From your description, it seems that every time you make up your mind to change something, you find yourself returning to your old ways after a few days. Today you got up late again, it seems to be 7:30. As soon as you got up, you grabbed your phone and spent a long time looking at it, as if it were the most important thing. It seems that there are many things here that distract you from other things, and you can spend a long time here.

Many of us find ourselves stuck in a cycle of "I want to change" and "I can't change." Have we ever set ourselves a goal?

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider what tasks we need to complete during the day, how we might divide the day into parts, which time periods we could use for play and rest, and which time periods we might need for study. During study time, it might be beneficial to turn off our phones. What are our plans for the day? What if we can't do it? Could we consider rewarding ourselves if we do?

Perhaps we could say that we lack purpose and motivation to get things done. Could I ask where our stress comes from, or what the main source of our frustration is?

Could it be that we are afraid of failure if we don't finish? Or might it be that we are worried about the feeling of loss if we put in the effort but don't achieve the expected results?

If we were to pay attention to the present moment, what do you think we might need most at this stage? Is it possible that we feel it would be better to just lie down because we haven't achieved the result we want?

Have you ever felt frustrated because you haven't achieved anything after trying for a long time? This can sometimes lead to a sense of learned helplessness. It's worth noting that repeated attempts can gradually affect our sense of self. What are some of the main sources of the voice in our head that tells us we can't do it? Is there a way we can overcome and deal with it?

There are often more ways to achieve a goal than we initially realize. As long as we are open to problem-solving, we can find solutions. Our inner belief in our ability to do a good job is an important factor.

It is also important to feel that we are capable.

It would be wonderful if we could see our inner needs and meet them. We can also see our vulnerable places and see what parts need to be improved.

Best wishes, I am a long-lost soul in search of a way to connect with the world and with you.

But don't let that stop you! When making changes, the probability of failure is high when you need to "make up your mind" to get started.

Have you ever thought about how much mental energy we use just to make up our minds? It's incredible! And like time, our mental energy is limited. So, it's important to make the most of it! That's why it's so important to start changes with a lot of confidence. But remember, persevering also requires a lot of mental energy. So, if you find yourself struggling, don't worry! You can always return to the starting point and try again another day.

But here's the thing: repeatedly "returning to the starting point" will undermine one's self-confidence, generate self-doubt, and lead to a gradual decline in mental energy.

Embrace change! It means saying goodbye to old behaviors and habits that aren't serving you. Our instinct is to resist change, but we can choose to rebel and escape.

Therefore, change should not be too drastic or too fast. Change is for the better, and it does not mean that the past and the present were wrong—it means they were the stepping stones to something better!

Guess what? You can make a change in your life, starting with the simple and easy. For example, you could play for less than ten minutes a day than you did yesterday. Or you could slow down the pace, taking a week as a unit. In the first week, you could play for ten minutes less than you did the week before. In the second week, you could play for twenty minutes less. You could even adjust your expectations to a reasonable level and set a goal that you can achieve. For example, you could say, "Starting tomorrow, no more phone." This may not be a reasonable or achievable goal, but it's a great place to start!

Every cycle, we get that amazing, timely positive feedback from success! It gives us that incredible boost of psychological energy, "I can do it," and then we just keep going! This forms a positive virtuous cycle, and it totally transforms our whole person's mental state!

It's so easy to make small improvements every day! And it's really simple to keep up the good work. You don't have to "resolve to stick with it" to make big changes. Just look at all the amazing things you can achieve with a few small changes each day!

Greetings! I extend a warm embrace from afar.

From your brief description, it is evident that you are experiencing a profound sense of guilt, self-blame, disdain, and a lack of self-acceptance.

It is important to note that the foundation for change is acceptance. It is crucial to acknowledge that the need to alter one's habit of sleeping late has been identified and that efforts have been made to rise early, despite occasional instances of sleeping in later than desired.

The occurrence of occasional late mornings does not indicate a lack of self-discipline. Furthermore, the days on which one chooses to rise early are not thereby negated. Rather, it is advisable to identify the underlying motivation behind the occasional late mornings and to consider alternative ways of responding to and satisfying this need.

Concurrently, it is essential to recognize that upon identifying one's typical detrimental behaviors, an individual will likely endeavor to implement alterations through their own volition, guided by this self-awareness. The underlying cause of the discrepancy between one's expectations and the actual outcomes of these changes is likely due to the fact that expectations are often set at a level that is not realistic.

It is important to understand that the reason why bad habits have continued to recur is that individuals have obtained a certain response and satisfaction from these seemingly inappropriate habits. In other words, bad habits are not formed overnight, and therefore, it is not realistic to expect to change them in the shortest possible time. This expectation is also not in line with human nature.

One can reasonably expect a desire for change, allow for occasional setbacks, and then affirm that one's occasional behavior is not indicative of one's expectations and that change is possible. However, change must occur naturally; it cannot be forced. This approach allows one to avoid fighting against former bad habits. What are your thoughts on this matter?

It is this author's recommendation that the reader peruse the text entitled "Mastering Habits."

I am Lily, the youngest member of the Q&A Museum. I extend my greetings to you all, and I wish to express my affection for the world and for you, my readers.