It feels like I can't face the real me. Maybe it's just too confusing, or maybe it's something else?

Hello, questioner! I am Shushan Wenquan. We will learn to be our own spiritual gardeners and wait quietly for spring flowers and autumn fruits!

I am pleased to hear that you have overcome your depression with the help of a counselor and are moving towards growth. As someone who has also experienced similar distress, I can offer insights into the confusion and distress you are currently facing.

Start from the present moment and do less thinking and more doing. The human brain is a thinking tool, and we must master it. Make it think when we should be thinking and rest when we should be resting.

However, in real life, people often become the tools of their own minds. They let it issue random commands, which unsettle the owner.

Brain circuits have a tendency to focus on what's in and ignore what's out. The more you dwell on something, the more developed that nerve becomes. The brain is wired to associate depressive emotions with negative, passive, and passive thinking because that's how it operates.

The first thing you need to do is process any external noise as it happens.

The solution to overcoming the brain's habit of dwelling on negative thoughts is simple: do more and think less. Practice mindfulness and take back control.

You can do this in small things in life. If you want to read a book, then pick it up and read it. Don't think about whether you can understand it, how to share it after reading it, or difficulties such as not having time. When you pick up a book and read a page, you'll find that the problems you previously envisaged may not exist at all.

The second is mindfulness deliberate practice. You should do some audio meditation, practice yoga, or do breathing exercises that pull thoughts to the present.

Drown out the "chaotic" voices in your mind and replace them with a better internal soundboard.

Compare yourself to your own past self and see how much harder you can work. You have been depressed for ten years, but you have now come out of it, which is a huge step forward in your life.

Don't compare yourself to others. You know yourself better than anyone. Everyone has a different prime time. Give yourself time and believe in yourself.

From now on, set yourself achievable goals. Do your best, and don't complain or blame yourself. You're doing your best, so don't waste time complaining.

Do not measure yourself against other people's standards. If you can see that you have improved today compared to yesterday, then you should be happy about that.

You have to love yourself to make changes.

3. Focus on methods to improve efficiency. It doesn't matter where you start or what you do. What matters is that you focus on improving your efficiency.

Depression can affect your social life. There are different ways to live, learn, and work. You should communicate with other people more, learn from their experiences, and optimize your methods.

You will see the rewards of your efforts sooner.

In short, confusion is the norm in life. It is said that people should keep learning as long as they live, and there is still a third that they have not learned. Get yourself out of your head through action, practice mindfulness more often, and cultivate positive thoughts.

Compare yourself to your previous best, recognize your full effort, and love yourself. Try more, communicate more, and learn how to do things.

You will fall in love with yourself, and you will do it slowly.

The world and I love you!

Dear Sir/Madam, I am grateful for your invitation.

I perceive and empathize with the confusion, distress, discomfort, and helplessness you are experiencing.

The specifics of the difficulties resulting from an inability to confront one's authentic self are beyond the scope of this discussion. However, three recommendations are offered for your contemplation:

Firstly, it is recommended that you endeavour to comprehend and accept your own identity.

Such an approach will result in a slight alleviation of distress, which in turn will facilitate the formulation of a plan of action.

You stated that you had overcome a ten-year depression by this time last year, which was a challenging process. First, I would like to congratulate you on this achievement. However, you are currently undergoing growth counseling, yet you find yourself experiencing a great deal of confusion and facing numerous issues that have been exacerbated by your depression, including personal growth, life, work, and so forth. Many of these issues may not be significant concerns for others, yet they represent significant challenges for you. Additionally, you recognize that you are afraid to confront your true self. Despite your best efforts to implement the recommendations provided by the counselor, the results have been minimal, which has led to considerable distress. It is important to note that if someone were to find themselves in a similar situation, they would likely exhibit a similar pattern of behavior. Many individuals find it difficult to face their imperfect selves. Narcissism is a natural human instinct, and you have also experienced a ten-year process of struggling with depression. Therefore, it is essential to try to understand yourself, accept yourself, and recognize that the painful self who desires change is temporarily uncertain of how to achieve it. This will provide you with additional mental energy to focus on other matters, as your mind will otherwise be filled with a plethora of negative emotions.

Furthermore, it permits the individual to attempt to comprehend and accept themselves, which is the sole means of effecting change in the status quo. Although this may appear to be a paradox, it is, in fact, an accurate assertion, given that change is contingent upon the absence of change.

Secondly, it is recommended that you adopt a rational perspective in regard to your own condition.

Rational thinking facilitates a more nuanced understanding of oneself and of reality.

In order to achieve this, it is necessary to undertake two distinct actions.

One must recognize that no individual is without flaws and that each possesses a degree of inadequacy.

In your description, you indicated that you are aware of your fear of confronting your authentic self. It is possible that you perceive a significant discrepancy between yourself and others, leading to feelings of inadequacy. It is essential to recognize that nobody is perfect and that everyone possesses shortcomings and flaws. Your decision to emerge from a ten-year depression is a noteworthy achievement. By contemplating this, you may gain confidence in yourself and be willing to confront your inner self directly.

Secondly, it is important to recognise that the status quo can be altered, given that the individual in question is capable of change.

When one exerts subjective initiative, a natural change in state occurs. Given that the individual was able to overcome a decade of depression, it is highly probable that they will also emerge from this challenging situation. It is essential to recognize the power of time and to adopt a developmental perspective in regard to the self.

A rational examination of one's current state may facilitate the resolution of various negative emotions.

It is again recommended that you concentrate on your own situation and consider what you can do to improve your emotional state.

A rational examination of one's current state may also facilitate the identification of appropriate courses of action. At this juncture, it is prudent to prioritize self-care and exert one's best efforts.

For example, one might consider focusing on the positive qualities inherent in oneself. As previously mentioned, the ability to overcome a decade-long depressive episode is indicative of perseverance and courage. Additionally, seeking assistance demonstrates motivation, and the ongoing engagement in growth counseling reflects a commitment to personal development and the pursuit of self-improvement. This encompasses the capacity to analyze one's current challenges and perceive one's own emotions, which indicates the presence of robust analytical and perceptual abilities. Consequently, it can be observed that there are numerous positive attributes that can facilitate change. When this realization is internalized, one may experience a sense of strength and the courage to confront one's shortcomings.

Additionally, one can adopt a developmental perspective of the self, recognizing that personal growth is a process rather than an instantaneous phenomenon. By drawing upon the patience and perseverance accumulated during one's struggle with depression, one may foster a sense of confidence in oneself, thereby enhancing one's capacity to navigate challenges effectively. This process can be further enhanced through learning from others, engaging with relevant literature, and participating in diverse learning activities, both online and offline. Such endeavors can collectively contribute to one's overall growth and development.

Furthermore, it is advisable to be more precise when defining the objectives one sets for oneself. The greater the specificity, the more likely it is that the desired outcome will be achieved. During the process of establishing goals, it is possible to ascertain whether they are realistic and attainable. Goals that are more rational and objective facilitate change and growth.

In the event that one is still unable to confront one's authentic self, it may be beneficial to engage in introspective questioning. This could entail asking oneself, "What am I truly afraid of? Are the concerns I am currently experiencing truly beyond my capacity to manage?"

"After repeated examination, one may discover that the concerns and fears that cause distress are largely imaginary constructs. They have not yet occurred, and even if they did, one may find the capacity to cope. This is due to growth, knowledge acquisition, and experience, which have shaped a new identity. It is essential to recognize the role of external support systems, including family, counselors, friends, and others. These resources can provide assistance and facilitate positive change. In summary, it is crucial to understand that one has the capacity to improve the situation."

Once action is initiated, negative emotions will gradually dissipate, as action is often the most effective method of combating such emotions.

It is my hope that this response will prove beneficial to you. Should you wish to engage in further communication, you are invited to click on the option entitled "Find a coach to interpret – online conversation," which will enable you to communicate with me directly.

Dear Question Asker, After reading your description, I would like to extend my support and encouragement.

Please accept my congratulations on taking the initiative to end your period of depression.

You are now transitioning out of a depressive state and confronting a number of practical challenges, which is understandably difficult.

You stated, "Due to the numerous challenges I've faced in my battle against depression, I've had limited exposure to the nuances of personal growth, life, and work. Additionally, I've not had the opportunity to hone my interpersonal skills. I tend to be significantly influenced by external opinions and perceived shortcomings."

It appears that you have been in a state of dormancy for an extended period and have recently become aware of your inability to adapt effectively to your current circumstances. This is a common occurrence and should be viewed as an opportunity for growth and change. You should be grateful for your current level of awareness and recognize that it is never too late to begin.

Furthermore, you are currently undergoing counseling, which has led you to recognize that you are afraid to face your true self.

Please take some time to consider what your true self is like.

As you have already indicated, you are aware of your true state and have described it at the outset.

It is challenging to address these issues simultaneously. Therefore, it would be beneficial to allow ourselves the necessary time to gradually work through them.

Please advise on the next steps.

1. Accept yourself for who you are.

This stage is about gradually integrating into society and maturing, allowing yourself time to improve.

2. When faced with challenges, do not avoid them; rather, address them in a systematic manner.

3. Document your incremental progress on a daily basis to enhance your self-assurance.

4. Break down your goals and achieve them in a series of incremental steps.

5. Do not compare yourself to others; only to yourself.

6. It is recommended that you engage in more exercise and maintain a healthy lifestyle.

7. Continue to seek guidance, identify your own inner resources, and tap into your own life force.

I am pleased to acknowledge your efforts, Baby.

I am pleased to see your awareness.

I am confident that you will continue to improve. Please take as much time as you need.

I am confident that you will have a very bright future.

Best wishes for success in all your future endeavors. Sincerely, [Your Name]

Everyone is a beacon, whether they are asking questions or answering them. Through words, we can and will illuminate the hearts of more people, and this is our shared energy.

Hello, I am Fei Yun, a heart exploration coach. I understand you have been depressed for 10 years. You are finally coming out of it after psychological counseling.

You have a lot of ideas and practical actions you want to take right now. You know you can do it, but you are confused and don't know where to start. You have learned and gained energy from the consultant, so use it. This sense of confusion overwhelms you, but you can overcome it.

I'm going to share and discuss this with you briefly, and I'm confident it will inspire and help you.

?1. Give life a little challenge.

If you want to make a breakthrough in your life, you must make good use of the difficulties you encounter now. First, you must remain "aware."

Identify the main difficulties you are facing and don't be in a hurry to solve them. Instead, ask yourself: What is the result I want to achieve?

I need to figure out what abilities I need to achieve the result I want.

It's time for a breakthrough. Start spending time learning to improve your abilities. Ask yourself, "What abilities do I have that will make this difficulty no longer a difficulty?" See what you can do now, and start acting to achieve the future effect.

We want results. We don't want to solve problems.

People solve difficulties. It's that simple. The more difficulties we solve, the more resources and abilities we gain as we grow up. The original difficulties are no longer difficulties.

As you mentioned, you have been confused about various issues since you can remember – personal growth, life, work, and so on.

When you encounter difficulties, you have a choice. You can either learn and grow, using the stepping stones to become a ladder to success, or you can rush to solve the problem and fall into a pile of difficulties.

We must learn to turn stumbling blocks into stepping stones when facing difficulties.

1) Redefine this "difficulty":

Let's be clear: when we call something "difficult," we're essentially saying it's going to stress us out and cause us depression.

Difficulties are challenges. They fill us with fighting spirit and strength.

2) Shift the focus.

Shift your focus from "difficulties" to "results."

If you focus on difficulties, you will be overwhelmed. If you focus on results, you will get results. It's that simple.

2. All changes must originate from a change in the subconscious.

Psychology clearly states that information can enter the subconscious mind of the brain, but it can also be blocked from entering.

We know that exercise is good for our health. Despite this, we don't take action because we're still subconsciously holding on to the belief that "a tortoise stays still."

We must bypass our ego and the defense of limiting beliefs and let it enter the subconscious directly.

You have had counseling, and it may seem that the counselor is "helping you solve problems," but in fact, they are helping you "see the problem and discover that you already have the thinking ability to solve it." We are inherently wise.

Learning can give us an intense emotional experience, which closes the human consciousness. In this state, thoughts, feelings, and information go directly to the subconscious mind, where they plant the "seeds" (gratitude, optimism, sharing, helping others, etc.) that belong to our lives and are stored in our memories and lives.

Life brings experiences and learning, and these become the seeds of life when they enter the subconscious. A person's inner beliefs determine their actions, and different actions create different results.

Your beliefs will be expressed through your actions and become your life today. If you think you don't have enough, you won't have enough. If you're always taking, you'll be shunned.

You are rich inside and you love to share. You believe in having and you take action to make yourself have more and more.

Start with the simplest thoughts: gratitude and sharing. Even if you have a thousand thoughts, this is a very good place to begin.

For example, record a few things every day that make you happy and satisfied, do a few things that you love about life, things that you love about life, or things that are helpful to others. From these little things, you will perceive yourself, feel the beauty of life, and find your sense of worth.

I will give you a new perspective, show you the greater truth in things, and give you more choices. And I love you, the world, and I want you to know it.

If you want to continue the conversation, click "Find a coach" in the upper right corner or at the bottom. I will communicate and grow with you one-on-one.

Seeing into the heart, making sharing a habit. I'm a bit of a loner.

It's a pretty simple sentence, but it can be tough to face your true self.

This may seem like a simple sentence, but how many people sigh at it? And after experiencing the world, how many people can truly face their true selves?

The questioner is looking for answers to this problem, and I'm sharing my thoughts on it.

It's tough to answer this question in a way that applies to everyone. The answer to all questions about facing your true self is within you.

1. People who are prone to living in other people's worlds often lack the confidence and assertiveness needed to approach things in a confident manner.

Let me give you an example that's easier to understand. When you go shopping and choose clothes for yourself...

People who are living in their own world:

It's tough to change your mind when the salesperson or their friends are pushing you to buy something you don't want because deep down you already know what you want. It's like they're saying, "I just want to buy this style" or "I just like this color." As for your stereotypes and suggestions, I can listen, but I can't be swayed.

People who live in other people's worlds:

You have your own knowledge and preferences, but when picking up an item of clothing, a comment or even an expression from a sales assistant or friend can change your original shopping plan. You hold the clothes up in indecision, with worries and concerns that are hard to express. Chances are, you'll quickly choose a style recommended by someone else, because you're not very satisfied with the clothes in your hands.

A person who is confident and assertive will always be self-centered and look at things from their own perspective, regardless of the situation. They know what they want and are not overly concerned with what others think.

This is a way of living life to the fullest, facing the sea, and enjoying the spring flowers. For people who lack assertiveness and self-confidence, it's not that they don't know how pleasant it is to be assertive and confident. They just can't put it into practice. They can talk about it all day long, but when it comes to actually doing it, they always end up making the same mistakes over and over again.

If you want to be someone who lives in their own world, you have to help yourself. You can't change your own consciousness by yourself. Even if there are millions of methods, they are all useless if you can't learn to change it slowly through practical things.

2. If you spare yourself, you're also sparing others.

Often, our pain comes from comparing ourselves to others. We're all imperfect, and there are always a few things we'd change.

It's like a small black spot on a white wall. If you don't care about it, the wall will still blend in with the furnishings inside the house, and it'll look beautiful. But if you focus on that small black spot for a moment, you'll feel depressed.

It's because of the imperfect beauty of everything in the world that beauty is seen differently.

Knowing your own shortcomings is called self-awareness. When you know that you are not taller than anyone else, even when you stand straight, it's better to lie down happily.

Everyone has their own strengths. Just be yourself, and learn to let go of the rest. You can't control everything, so don't worry about it. You can only be responsible for your own actions. As for other people's actions and the actions of the gods, you can't control them, so don't worry about them either.

One last thing:

The two points I've made today are in plain language.

It's straightforward and easy to grasp.

Like, "facing the real self" is a saying.

It's easier said than done, though.

Change their current situation.

It's important to have a process of self-awareness.

Wake up one morning and suddenly have all the answers.

Make the change quickly.

Make the change quickly.

After all this time, habits and customs have really taken hold.

It takes more than just courage to face yourself.

But I truly believe

As long as you're ready to take the first step to make a change.

I'm sure you'll meet a better version of yourself.

Hello, I'm Jiang.

Thank you for telling us about your confusion. I understand how hard it is to get out of it.

You ask: I feel unable to face myself. Maybe there are too many problems, or maybe it's something else.

You have overcome depression and are undergoing growth counseling. I'm happy for you and give you a thumbs up for your efforts and results. You are determined and brave in facing your problems.

You can't face the real you now, and there may be unfinished business buried in your heart. You're doing growth counseling, which shows you've been making progress.

Let's analyze how to move on together.

1. Growing up is hard.

1. Personality

I've been confused about many things since I can remember. These confusions have affected me deeply.

I don't understand personal growth, life, or work. I'm not good at social skills. I get caught up in things that aren't problems.

There is also a gap with others at work, etc. They are unable to engage in the real present.

From what you said, I can tell you're a sensitive person.

Thoughtful and sensitive.

You are confused because you think a lot. When something happens, you connect it to your real self.

You're sensitive to people and things.

You love to compare.

You compare yourself with others, the past, the present, and the future.

Personality

Overall impression: You have a depressive personality. Depressive people often display the following characteristics:

Thoughtful, sensitive, idealistic, and pursues truth, goodness, and beauty.

Strengths: sensitive, loyal, talented, insightful

Weaknesses: being too critical, indecisive, self-centered, pessimistic, and passive.

2. Sort it out

These confusions mainly involve worries and anxieties, which can be divided into three areas:

Self-growth

You worry that you've lost too much time and can't catch up with your peers. You're anxious about what others say about you.

Your concern about other people's opinions makes it hard for you to be yourself.

Interpersonal relationships

You worry that you don't know how to get along with people and that you will be criticized. When others say there are still problems, you think they are reminding you that you haven't done well.

Your idealism and sense of truth, goodness, and beauty make you think you need to be perfect and do everything right. This also makes you anxious about how to do it all in time.

You focus on what others say instead of your current situation. You pressure yourself and don't accept your current imperfection.

Your life revolves around other people. You live in their minds, not your own.

Ability to work

At work, you compare yourself to others, making yourself feel worse. You worry that you are not as good as others. You cannot admit that you are weaker than others.

3. Fixations

Let's look at the problems in your reality.

The fear in your subconscious

You can't let go of the past, the future, and your love of comparison because you're still afraid of them. So, you choose to escape, and your perfectionism makes you unwilling to admit that you're inferior to others.

But comparing yourself makes you afraid of the past, the future, and other people. You can't stay in the present.

Escape from reality

You can't go back to reality. If you accept reality, it will make you feel painful. When you go back to the past or compare yourself with others, it can distract you from the pain of the present. You imply to yourself that it is the result of comparison. You are looking for a reasonable explanation for your own pain.

If you live in the present fully, you'll feel depressed, ashamed, and lost. You'll care about other people's opinions and put pressure on yourself.

A deeper exploration revealed that the fear was caused by a deeper subconscious problem. Staying in the present means staying with the fear of your inner child. You want to find another excuse to escape.

This is my reason for comparison, and I am still in pain.

Others matter more than me.

People who compare themselves to others are either confident or not. The latter group is not confident and thinks other people are more important.

Feelings come from what others say and think, not from you.

The only way to change is to face your true self.

The counselor said it was because I couldn't face my true self. I knew this too. I was also told some methods. (I can sense my feelings, and I don't want to face my true self.)

The counselor was right. It's normal to have these thoughts even though you're in counseling. It shows you still have unresolved issues.

When you touch a hot pan, do you put your hand there or pull it back? It's the same with reality. If you don't admit it, it blocks you. It tells you to stop worrying and reminds you that someone is sick.

You have to acknowledge your discomfort and move it out of the way to resolve it. This is the only way to complete your transformation.

Many people have also done similar mindfulness training. The aim is to calm our minds, let go of distracting thoughts, and unite body and mind in the present moment.

Many people find it hard to calm down and deal with their problems because they have too many regrets and want to change too many things.

Haste makes waste. The more you want to understand things quickly, the more you will often get the opposite of what you want.

Your spiritual practice will take time. Be prepared mentally and patiently work through problems one by one.

3. The road to growth

You say, "I don't know what to do. I don't want to be miserable. What should I do to break this deadlock?" Let yourself devote yourself to life. You said you'd do things, but you got caught up in negative things. You said you'd stick to things, but life changes a lot.

You don't know what to do and don't want to suffer. I understand your anxiety, especially when you feel something is insurmountable.

Your anxiety comes from making big promises you can't keep. You feel like you're regressing when you have setbacks.

You haven't considered that things change and you can't complete the plan on time. This makes you feel ashamed and blame yourself. Behind this is a series of self-blame and remorse, such as thinking you are imperfect and ruined.

This is how you should think as you grow.

Be present and match knowledge with action. You can't do that now because you still need to remove past obstacles on the path to growth. Methods:

1. Adjust expectations.

Do one thing at a time.

Don't aim too high. Adjust your plan and set goals in stages.

Allow more time.

Do one thing at a time.

If you can't finish a plan, wait.

Accept yourself.

You have realized that things change. Don't put too much pressure on yourself.

Let yourself relax, repeat yourself, and accept yourself.

If you can think this way, you have accepted yourself.

Believe in yourself and review regularly.

Look back to see what you've done, how far you've come, and give yourself a boost. Believe you can do the next thing.

3. Don't compare yourself to others.

Keep your eyes on your own business and thank others for their reminders. Then tell yourself:

I can't do it right now. What's important is finishing what I planned to do. I just have to be myself.

4. Find the inner child.

It's not easy to find the inner child, but you have to keep trying. Follow the teacher's steps to find the inner child. When the inner child jumps out, greet him and say,

We have met. Thank you for the practice.

I see you. I need to get rid of what I still care about.

It's okay if you don't want to leave yet. I can wait a little while.

5. Talk to yourself.

Meditate and talk to your inner self. When thoughts come up, say "I see" in your heart.

I see.

Let them flow naturally. Don't judge or reject them. Just tell yourself, "I see." Consciousness will evoke more memories for you, allowing you to see your past self. You may cry, shout, or scream. Let it happen. Then say softly to yourself,

Thank you. I love you.

When you talk to yourself, feel the feelings you have in the moment. "I see" means accepting your feelings and thinking about your inner child.

You will become more confident and able to be yourself.

That's all the advice I have. Thanks for trusting me!

Good luck!

Hello, friend! I totally get where you're at.

I want to tell you a story. A person suffering from an illness made the choice to do something unconventional: they went on a trip instead of going to the hospital. When they let go of their worries and confusion, they were able to experience the world and nature in a relaxed way. And with a book of essays on Tang poetry in their hands, they got better!

In fact, if we view ourselves with the eyes of growth, allow ourselves to take a step forward, and try to face life instead of doubting ourselves, we will become stronger and better! Give yourself a chance to be good, okay? You can do it!

Don't overthink it, just go for it! Even if you make a mistake and correct it, that's how you grow. Be like a hero facing the cold wind with a persistent and eager gaze.

You care about other people's opinions and stares, but you don't live for yourself. When you live for yourself, you will gain the recognition of others, and it's going to be amazing!

Absolutely! You should definitely let yourself grow and become a better version of yourself until you gain the recognition of others.

I highly recommend reading more biographies and philosophy books to learn about the incredible life stories of the fascinating characters in these books. You'll discover how they refused to give up when they encountered difficulties and what amazing methods they used to overcome them. You can also consciously learn from their inspiring attitudes towards getting along with others, and you'll gain so much!

And there's more! I also suggest you go for a run and get out there more often. It's the best way to really get in touch with life. You'll fall in love with it, discover all the little things you love about it, write them down in a diary, and encourage yourself, giving yourself a reward every day, which can be saving up money or a favorite food.

And when you do something wrong, don't dwell on it! Save it for reading and let it be solved in the process of growing up.

Embrace your true self and discover your authentic self! Life doesn't require forcing yourself to fit in. It offers you the incredible opportunity to live your truth and be your best self. Seize this opportunity and live your best life!

I really hope you'll be free from worries soon! Please feel free to leave a message if you need anything.

Hello! When I was replying to you, there were already 15 replies, which is the wonderful thing about this community.

Okay, no more jokes, folks!

Let's start by chatting about what the real self is.

I'm also a counselor, and I've met so many people who've seen other counselors and didn't feel good about it.

Then there's the big question of what the real self is. I often tell my clients that they're not accepting their true selves. So how come things are the way they are?

I have to be honest, when I first became a counselor, I also liked to say this.

I truly believe that people have so many issues because they don't embrace their authentic selves. Unfortunately, they also tend to struggle when they can't accept me, which can lead to feelings of anxiety.

But anyway, as my years of consulting grew and the number of people I encountered increased, I really thought about what my true self actually is.

I've been thinking a lot lately about whether the real self is the same as the self that counselors see and analyze.

If that really means death, why is it that many people are unable to change and accept their true selves, even though they have already raised the issue and been told how? It's a real puzzle!

So, after thinking about it for a while, I came to the conclusion that the real self that the counselor speaks of is only a part of the real self.

I truly believe that the real self that the bicycle is talking about is more accurately described as accepting that part of the self.

In my experience, counselors often have a strong sense of self-worth. They're often eager to believe that the part they've analyzed is the core of a person's identity. And their experience and theories often lead them to believe that if someone makes the changes they suggest, they'll see significant improvement.

There's really nothing wrong with these things, sweetheart.

But a person is made up of so many different aspects! If the client had simply followed the counselor's advice and made changes, I'm sure he would have improved.

I truly believe that if someone is struggling with psychological issues that are holding them back, seeking counseling is a great step. However, I also think that it's important to recognize that not everyone is as obedient as they seem.

Another part of this client's journey is to remind himself that he can't do that. I also believe that in this client's life and in the course of life, he has heard many things similar to what the counselor said to him. So why does the counselor's words often work?

Ultimately, it might be because the counselor's words were so well-structured and logical.

So, the part that prevented him from making changes was ultimately overwhelmed by the consultant's logical and logical feelings. I really do think that these things often play the role of the last straw that breaks the camel's back.

If someone can make changes after consulting, it must be because they really want to change.

If he really wants to make a change, he'll put in a lot of effort, even if it seems like he's not making much progress. But inside, he's definitely caught in a dilemma. At this time, the final direction depends on which part of the influence is stronger and of higher quality.

If the positive influence is of a higher quality, he may eventually come out of it. But if the negative influence is of a higher quality, then he may eventually be crushed.

There are so many examples in life!

I hope I can still tell you the essence of it all, even though I've already said quite a bit. People are multifaceted, and that's a beautiful thing! The essence of the part that the counselor sees, the part that he wants you to change, and the part that he says you should embrace is to eliminate negative influences and increase positive influences.

I'm sure this will help you make a choice from the options.

But that doesn't mean that's the real you, sweetheart. We've all heard the story of the rat pulling the carrot out of the ground.

A farmer couldn't pull out a radish. He asked for help from a cat, but the cat couldn't pull it out either. Finally, a mouse came and helped, and pulled it out. The mouse said it was all his credit. This is reality. This is not realistic.

I know it's not really my place to say, but the truth is that the counselor is often the rat.

So when your existing anxiety falls into various depressed states, try not to think about how your true self is. Just remember that the true self he told you about is just a part of your own self.

Even if you accept that part of yourself, it's still important to look at the big picture to make sure you're making fundamental changes.

But if you accept that part of yourself, he will get your destiny, time, and mental gears turning. Then the whole of you will start moving!

If you really don't want to accept it, that's okay! Let's change gears. If you are bound to that one point by his acceptance of his true self, he will actually plunge you into even more severe conflict and anxiety.

And you have to say that you are not picking up your true self. This is a catchphrase. A counselor who says that you are not picking up your true self in the future is still a little irresponsible, don't you think?

Because at this point, it's like you're passing the buck and making excuses. You don't make changes because you don't accept your true self, and that's okay! You are now number one because you don't accept your true self, and that's great! You are now anxious because you don't accept your true self, and that's normal!

Then you got better because I told you the truth about yourself. After that, you accepted him, and you got better. I know this is a bit hard to say, but I'm here to listen if you need to talk.

And you might be a little embarrassed to find that you can't refute this statement. That's okay! The underlying logic is not wrong. Just because something is reasonable doesn't mean it's right.

It's so important to believe in the real you, which is your entire self in its entirety. A certain part of yourself at this time is only a part of you.

It's even possible that he is just your big toe!

It's like someone who has a big cut on their big toe. Then it gets infected and they can't walk. A doctor says, "Oh dear, you rely on this big toe to walk."

If you don't fix your big toe, you won't be able to walk, sweetie.

Is there something I can do to help with this sentence? If you don't treat the big toe, you definitely won't be able to walk, and it hurts.

But I don't think it really means that you rely on your big toe to walk, do you?

But when the doctor says that, it can make you feel like, oh my goodness, it's so serious, my walking thing is broken. But it's not, I promise!

I promise you, if the big toe really can't be fixed, we'll just chop it off. Don't worry, even if you can't walk as well afterwards, you can still walk.

And I'll be honest with you. I'll tell you the truth. Your foot and ankle are injured, so you can't walk right now. I would never want to make you worry, so I'll be sure to give you a reasonable treatment plan.

He told you that you hurt your big toe. Don't worry, I have a bottle of saline solution and a bottle of alcohol right here. I'll disinfect you first, then after disinfection, I'll use a soldering iron to stop the bleeding.

And finally, I'll sew up your wound. Look at this posture.

I can only imagine how scared you must have been. Not being able to walk is really uncomfortable and painful.

It seems to hurt more when you treat it, poor thing.

But is there any chance you could give me an anaesthetic? Or is there any chance we could just put a band-aid on it? I'd be really grateful if you could do that for me.

Oh, there's still some!

Well, that's all for now! I really hope this has been helpful for you. And please, don't hesitate to come to me for advice or a chat if you ever need it.

I really hope you find happiness in your life.

Good day. I extend my sincerest regards to you in the form of a 360-degree embrace.

After reviewing your inquiry, I am pleased to see you have overcome your depression. However, I am concerned about your current situation, as it appears you may have lost your direction.

In psychological counseling, there is a well-known concept: symptoms serve a function. This means that a symptom may have two distinct roles. On the one hand, it can cause discomfort and misery. On the other hand, it can also be a clever solution.

I believe many people have been in situations where they have feigned illness or malaise. This is a common narrative device in television dramas, for example, when two people are arguing and the one who is about to lose the argument pretends to faint. At this point, the fainting is a strategy, and the bystanders will say to the other party, "Look, you've made the other person faint."

I have faked it on numerous occasions. For instance, I have informed numerous individuals that I suffer from social anxiety, particularly when I am required to perform in a talent show.

I can then simply refrain from participating in the event and observe from the sidelines.

On occasion, I also feign illness to utilize the services of my children, such as requesting that they get my mother a glass of water.

After discussing the aforementioned symptoms, you may be curious about my overall message. In short, symptoms serve a purpose.

Previous depression may also be a symptom in your case. When this occurs, those around you may be more tolerant and less demanding. As for school, work, or even marriage, you can set these aside temporarily. After all, you are a patient with depression.

You may also feel justified in taking time to rest, given that you are a patient and have the right to recuperate.

Your "depression" has been a convenient excuse or a means of avoiding certain situations. However, once your "depression is over," you will no longer have this convenient excuse. You are a normal person, and you need to take responsibility for yourself. Others may also no longer want to treat you like a "patient."

Furthermore, you will come to recognize that you are a typical individual and should act accordingly.

However, these two role changes are not straightforward. You have indicated that you have been experiencing depression for ten years, and while you may be making gradual progress, declaring that you are no longer depressed will inevitably lead to a shift in expectations on your part and those of those around you.

However, this transition is occurring too rapidly. It is not a ritual declaration that your depression is over, and you are not immediately transformed into a different person. You also mentioned that you are undergoing growth counseling.

My advice is to avoid hastily removing the label of depression. You may wish to consider maintaining the status quo for a period of time to allow for further adjustment. During this period, it would be beneficial to continue receiving guidance from a qualified professional.

Once you are fully prepared and no longer require this designation, you may then choose to declare your condition as cured.

You are encouraged to give it a try.

I am frequently both Buddhist and depressed, occasionally motivated and positive, and a counselor who is optimistic about the world and about you.

Hello, I'm Gu Yi. I may be modest and self-effacing, but I am consistent.

Let's talk about the real self.

I believe you have a lot of energy to tap because you've been able to come out of a decade-long depression. We just have to face the real us. But which self is the real self? It needs me to analyze and judge. We all know Leslie Cheung and the world comedy star, Bean, whose works on screen are unforgettable. What we most often ignore is that they were also depressed.

Do we see the most authentic side of the people we meet? I don't think there is a definitive answer to this question. We face the world with many questions and confusions, just like the proverbial "100,000 whys." It is not wrong to always want to explore, driven by curiosity. It is also not wrong for us to want to show the best of ourselves, because deep down we have aspirations. What we can see and have seen is what others are willing to let us see.

You want us to see you as someone who has overcome depression. You want to show those around you that you can do many things. You realize that you cannot focus on one thing. You get sidetracked by the negative aspects of things. You try to be unpredictable, but you end up stuck in the same place.

♥ Accept yourself.

Acceptance is a process of accepting, believing, and respecting. In this big and colorful world, nothing is absolute. We see good and evil, light and shadow. We see bad things in ourselves, so let's discover the good.

The growth counseling process is extensive. You have identified a need for improvement in your interpersonal relationships and have experienced a degree of disconnection during your ten-year period of depression. It appears that you are at the beginning of a journey of self-discovery and self-realization. The school of social work therapy offers a range of effective therapeutic approaches, including environmental therapy, which focuses on modifying the environment to influence personal relationships, and reinforcement therapy, which aims to alter attitudes and relationships. You have the opportunity to select the approach that aligns with your needs and to embark on a path of growth and maturation at your own pace.

❀ You'll only discover that your perspective on problems is different from others when you calm down. You've already expressed this in your description: your perspective is a wealth given to you by your experiences. Don't give it up! Find a career that suits you by using your unique perspective and playing to your strengths. What you have will be of value. So change is for the better, and developing your potential is the hope of becoming a better version of yourself.

You must believe that you can always shine.

Best regards,

Hello!

I've read your description and think you're still depressed. Have you taken medication?

Is there a clear point when depression will improve?

Your confusion seems to have two levels.

The first is a practical problem. Long-term depression can lead to unsatisfactory ways of coping with life.

You worry about what others think, feel out of touch with reality, and don't like yourself.

Most real-life problems are about abilities, and abilities can be improved. Set goals that are easy to measure and reward yourself when you achieve them.

A flower, something delicious, a piece of clothing, etc., or simply playing with your phone can be rewards.

Cognitive behavioral therapy helps you build confidence.

Then, problems at the cognitive level can be addressed with a counselor. It is best to work with a cognitive behavioral therapist to identify and change irrational beliefs.

Try the "emotion release technique" when you practice on your own. You can search for these words on Baidu or on major video websites.

It's simple and takes just a few minutes.

I'm sorry, but that's all I can do. I won't hug you from a distance because I can't give you the temperature you need.

I've written a lot, but I might not be able to help. I accept my limitations, and you should too.

Best wishes!

Hello, friend! I'm Destruction and Regeneration, the Yi Psychology answer host. I'm so happy to be able to connect with you on the Yi Psychology platform. I hope that my answer can bring you a little coolness in this hot summer.

I totally get where you're coming from! The reality is that the demands of daily life, work and even society as a whole won't change just because you've had a previous experience with depression.

But as someone who has just recovered from depression, it can be really tough to meet such standards all at once! It's a bit of a contradiction, isn't it?

It's totally normal to feel like you have no power in this situation. Let me give you a warm hug (づ ●─● )づ.

But don't worry, there's always a way to solve any problem. You've already shown that you can overcome depression with the help of psychological counseling, which means you have the power to heal yourself and find solutions to any problem you're facing.

I truly believe that even if you can overcome such a big problem as depression, you can definitely solve these problems now!

As the saying goes, "It takes more than one day to freeze three feet of snow, and more than one day to drill a hole with a drop of water." We all know that problems that have accumulated over decades cannot be solved overnight! So, just remember these six words: "Take your time, there's no rush!"

The full meaning of this sentence is: "Slowly, it will come; if you rush, you won't get it!" So don't worry if you can't solve these problems right away. I'm sure that people who know your situation can fully understand you!

And then there's the so-called "boasting." At its core, it's also about seeking praise and encouragement from others. It's a natural human desire, really. We all have an inner "love box" that needs to be filled with love, and it's only human to want to share that love with others.

It's totally normal to act out when our love box is empty. We all do it! I think your previous depression may also be related to this.

I think you'll agree with me on this one, don't you?

I know it can be tough, but you can do this! Take a moment to make a list of the problems you're facing, from the easiest to the trickiest. Then, choose a few simple things to do (you don't have to tackle the toughest ones right away; you can put those aside for now). This will help you feel more in control and boost your confidence!

Once you've solved the simple problems, why not try your hand at the more difficult ones?

And you know what else? Any problem, no matter how big it seems, can be broken down into smaller pieces that can be solved. You can try to break down all aspects of your work, your life, and even your relationships with others.

Take your life for example! You can even make the problems you don't understand in your life a little more concrete. For example, you might not be able to cook, do the laundry, or shop.

Then, try to come up with solutions to each specific problem that work for you (for example, if you don't know how to cook, you can try going grocery shopping with your family, choosing dishes together, and then learning to wash vegetables, boil water, cook rice, and stir-fry at home... After the meal, wash the dishes with your family. Take your time and enjoy every step of life, even if you don't do it perfectly, it's still progress).

Take your time and let yourself fully embrace life, society, and the present!

I just wanted to share a little quote with you that I love: "Small successes are better than your grandiose failures!" Take a moment to appreciate this quote!

I really hope things work out for you!

From your account, it is evident that you are currently experiencing a state of confusion. You express a desire to embrace a new life, yet you perceive that, due to your chronic depression, you are out of step with the typical trajectory of life.

Although your condition has improved, you find that you need to start many things anew. You are aware that your depression has caused a gap between you and your peers, and you hope to make up for it at a faster pace so that you can enter a good state of life more quickly.

I empathize with your situation and offer the following suggestions, which I believe will be beneficial.

1. Identify a leisure activity that you find enjoyable.

It is important to note that the depressive episode is likely to improve with time. It is therefore essential to avoid placing excessive pressure on oneself.

It is of the utmost importance to maintain a positive mental state. It is therefore recommended that individuals identify and engage in activities that align with their interests and promote well-being. These activities can enhance concentration, foster a sense of physical and mental happiness, and contribute to overall mental health and resilience.

Furthermore, engaging in activities that align with one's interests can foster a sense of resilience and purpose at work, enhancing one's sense of accomplishment. It is often more accessible than formal, structured work or academic pursuits.

It can effectively assist individuals in gradually integrating into the lives and work of ordinary people.

Furthermore, hobbies can regulate emotions and relieve stress. In the event of future fatigue or depression, stress can be alleviated through the pursuit of such hobbies. For instance, singing a song or painting a picture.

Such activities have been demonstrated to have a positive effect on mood and stress levels.

2. Establish incremental, attainable objectives.

It is essential to create a preliminary plan for one's life and work. It is crucial to avoid setting goals that are excessively challenging to achieve. Instead, it is more beneficial to set smaller, more attainable goals. Each goal can be considered as a stepping stone towards a larger objective. By systematically completing each step, one can gradually move closer to their ambitious goal. Additionally, each goal accomplished provides a sense of accomplishment and confidence, which can facilitate personal growth and development.

3. Enhance social skills

It is beneficial to form connections with individuals with whom one can engage in discourse. It is recommended to schedule regular meetings with these individuals and engage in activities such as shopping.

It is recommended that individuals engage in conversation and social interaction to enhance their social skills. Expanding one's social network can lead to an improved quality of life.

This will be of significant benefit when entering the workforce in the future. Additionally, when experiencing negative emotions, it is beneficial to engage in open communication with others.

This will prevent the individual from becoming depressed and allowing negative emotions to fester. It is beneficial for maintaining a healthy and optimistic state of mind.

4. Exercise Planning

It has been demonstrated that the secretion of dopamine occurs in humans during exercise, which can contribute to an overall sense of well-being. Furthermore, a well-designed exercise regimen can facilitate gradual improvements in physical health.

As physical health is correlated with mental health, an improvement in one will lead to an improvement in the other. Furthermore, regular exercise has been shown to relieve stress, improve metabolism and promote better sleep.

This will also have a beneficial impact on one's mental state.

5. Career Planning

Once the aforementioned items have been addressed, it is then necessary to devise a career plan that takes into account various factors, including learning abilities, physical condition, work capacity, and so forth, in order to identify a suitable career path. The transition into the workplace should be gradual, with a focus on effective learning.

Once an individual is able to fulfill the responsibilities of a given role, they will experience an enhanced sense of security and tranquility.

This will mitigate the anxiety caused by life stressors. If one's career is progressing well, one will also experience a sense of accomplishment.

Furthermore, entering the workforce will facilitate the expansion of one's social circle, the formation of new friendships, and the potential for encountering a romantic partner. This will enable the exploration of a vast array of possibilities.

It is therefore recommended that you commence the process immediately, formulating a plan of action in incremental stages and pursuing it with determination. You will come to perceive each day as imbued with greater significance.

Furthermore, with each passing day, one's life and state of mind will undergo gradual yet perceptible changes. It is reasonable to posit that progress will be made in a similar, albeit less pronounced, manner.

It is possible to ascertain one's own value and thereby enhance the meaningfulness of one's life.

I got out of depression last year on this day. It's a bit of a cyclical review, similar to Memorial Day, which helps me see the hardships I've overcome and the joy of getting out on the one hand, and on the other hand, there are still various difficulties in life to deal with.

I'm not sure if I should call it confusion or something else. Either way, it's really bothering the person who asked the question, and they don't know how to deal with it and break the deadlock.

I hope that what I'm sharing here can help the poster figure out how to get out of this pickle and open up more possibilities for moving forward.

First, start working on the goal in one area and then break it down into smaller steps.

The joy of wanting to succeed often makes people push on despite the burden. This situation is prone to arise:

Because of the negative things I get caught up in when things happen, I end up putting things off. I also say a lot of big words, thinking I can stick to them, but in fact life changes a lot.

If you're overwhelmed by excessive burdens, you might feel at a loss and start doubting yourself.

It's important to take a step back and calm down. Don't be too anxious to prove yourself. Start with a smile and take it one step at a time. Self-affirmation will help you achieve your goal.

Taking small, slow steps might feel unstable, but they're actually very steady. Taking things one step at a time will gradually build your confidence, with each small success adding to it.

2. Name each pain and have a conversation with each one at different points in time.

If you try to deal with too much pain at the same time, it's basically impossible for one person because everyone's time and energy are limited. And in the case of the original poster, it was just last year that they came out of a ten-year depression. This is like someone who has just recovered from a serious illness hoping to become a long-distance running champion in the shortest possible time, which is not very realistic.

So give yourself a chance to recuperate. During the recovery period, try to put less pressure on yourself and be more tolerant.

As the old saying goes, Rome wasn't built in a day. The same goes for dealing with multiple pains.

You can give each one a name and then decide which to deal with first. Talk to your counselor about them during your next meeting. Once you have a plan or have made some progress, move on to the next issue.

I hope this sharing is helpful for you.

I'm a psychologist, not a human behaviorist. I just care about people. I wish you well.

Hello, question asker.

First of all, I congratulate the questioner on overcoming ten years of depression. However, it has taken a long time to fight the disease, and now many things have to be started over again. It is not easy to establish a new perception, but the questioner will succeed. It is a very happy thing that the questioner's work and life are now starting to be normal again.

Depression has left the questioner hollow and detached from normal life. They don't want to be immersed in negative emotions again.

Give the questioner a reassuring pat on the shoulder. We all have to deal with negative emotions, whether we have depression or not.

To get rid of pain, you must look directly at your heart. Face your needs and generate energy to face these negative emotions.

Since the question was asked on a platform, I will give you some simple advice.

Know yourself.

If you want to get rid of pain and negative emotions, you need to know exactly what kind of person you are, what your qualities are, and what you want. Write down your qualities and strengths on a piece of paper. You will see what they are. For example:

I know how to observe others.

I am excellent at summarizing experience.

I am going to explore myself.

I am very patient, and I immerse myself in whatever I recognize.

I can sing.

I like to read.

You have many strengths and qualities. Take your time and write them all down. When you remember something, write it down.

List your achievements.

The questioner has been fighting depression for ten years and has won. They have many achievements to list, no matter how small. These are all achievements in the questioner's life.

These achievements will help the questioner understand themselves better. For example:

I suffered from depression for 10 years, but I came out on the other side stronger than ever.

He learned to ride a bicycle without parental guidance.

Listing your achievements helps you recognize your strengths.

Love and respect others.

Caring for yourself is the first step. Then, you can care for and respect others, bring happiness to others, and you will reap happiness yourself. Show kindness to others, and you will receive kindness in return.

The questioner began to feel his own value from these grateful smiles. However, remember the "anti-golden rule" of making friends: you cannot expect equal returns for your kindness to others.

Share your love with others in many ways. Share knowledge in a kind way, or donate a small amount of money to people in need or poor children.

Alipay and many volunteer ways are in our lives, and we can do good deeds. These small actions can make the questioner truly feel the happiness and gratitude of others.

Forget the past.

The questioner needs a fresh start. The past is the past. You can't live there anymore.

Many people have experienced misfortune in one way or another, and we must live in the present.

Buddha said, "The past cannot be obtained, nor can the future be obtained." Don't dwell on the sorrow and disappointment of the past or the worries of the future. Acknowledge your feelings, then move on.

Forgive those who have wronged you, forgive yourself for the lies you have told, and most importantly, forgive yourself. You did not choose to become depressed, and nothing in the past was your fault.

Get active.

Once you've overcome depression, it's important to remember that recovery takes time. During this period, you may experience some memory issues and difficulty concentrating on tasks. It's also normal to feel negative emotions as you work through these challenges.

Get active! It's an effective way to resist negative emotions. If you want to get rid of these emotions and cheer yourself up, then get active. Go outdoors and get some fresh air and sunshine. Get yourself moving!

It will be difficult at first, even more so than when you are depressed. However, if you persevere for a while, you will feel differently. You will feel energized and your mood will no longer be so low. You will have regained the ability to be happy.

Exercise will speed up blood circulation and deliver plenty of oxygen to the brain, making you feel more comfortable. It will relieve tension in the nervous system. When you exercise, your brain will secrete a happy substance, and you will experience this feeling after you exercise, which will encourage you to use exercise to dispel negative emotions.

Tell someone your worries.

When you encounter setbacks and need help, you have two options: yourself or friends. But remember, you have to be willing to seek and accept help from others. Otherwise, no one will come to you.

You need to find someone you can talk to openly and honestly. You also need to overcome your shyness and social anxiety. The questioner already has their own psychological counselor. If the counselor's advice doesn't help, the questioner should consider confiding their troubles to other listeners. I am certain that they will help to improve your mood.

Accept yourself, and you will feel better.

Do more of the things you like. Find the goal and meaning of your life's struggle in the things you like. Accept your state after recovery from depression. When you are in a low mood, do something to please yourself.

Make yourself happy, and eat some sweets. Sweet things make the body happy, and they will also make you feel happy. It is very important to make yourself happy without hurting others.

Don't let negative emotions fill your life.

The original poster still has a long way to go after recovery. Embrace yourself and show yourself love. Believe in yourself and you can definitely embrace a new future. You have won the battle for 10 years. Be true to yourself and learn to express your feelings sincerely, without caring about the opinions of others. Treat your current self as if he were your own child, with all your heart and soul. The original poster will definitely have a brand new life.

I am confident that my answer will help the questioner, and I am certain that the questioner will return to a normal life track as soon as possible.

Hello, questioner!

I'm so excited to share that I got out of depression last year! I'm now doing growth counseling and I'm feeling really good. However, I still feel like I'll fall into negative emotions from time to time and I feel like I'm not doing enough in many aspects of my life, work, and interpersonal relationships. What can I do to break this deadlock?

Let's explore how we can engage more fully in life together!

Psychological counseling is an amazing tool that can help us understand ourselves better and make positive changes in our lives. However, it's not a substitute for practical solutions to everyday problems. I believe the questioner has been in counseling for quite some time, and the counselor should have mentioned this at the first session. The goal of counseling is to shift some of our long-held thought patterns. With guidance, we can gain incredible insights into ourselves and the courage to embrace our true selves.

Embrace your true self by recognizing your strengths and weaknesses and accepting yourself, wholeheartedly!

Embrace your true self! It's not about saying, "This is who I am, and I'm not going to change." It's about transforming those habits that hold you back, like self-esteem-induced inferiority, and "emptying" yourself, just like an empty bottle, so you can fill it with water and grow!

It's so important to understand and experience these things in life so we can apply them to our lives and work!

Another fantastic goal of counseling is to change attitudes towards life and work!

For everyone, there are some things in life you just can't change. But that's okay! It's not about trying to change everything, it's about changing your attitude. So, let's change our attitude from negative to positive!

This is the only way we can treat ourselves with kindness and inspire ourselves constantly!

If we expect the counselor to help us solve practical problems in life, we might become psychologically dependent, feel comfortable during counseling, full of hope for ourselves, and return to real life full of various anxieties and worries. But there's another way!

In other words, with the help of external resources, such as psychological counseling and the advice of others, ultimately, we must turn inward, look within, take action, and set ourselves a long-term goal. Self-discipline and long-term commitment are the only way to make a change. And you can do this!

The great news is that personal growth is also a lifelong process! We can all learn and grow in life and work. We may not be skilled in social skills, but that's okay! We can all learn and grow in these areas. It's normal to be not good at some things, and there's no need to be an "all-rounder."

With this kind of thinking, you'll find your anxiety will be much less!

It's totally normal to feel like there's still a gap between you and your colleagues at work. But here's the good news: you can close that gap by acknowledging your abilities and doing your best within your capabilities!

In short, we are just ordinary people, and lowering our expectations is a great way to increase our sense of well-being!

Finally, depression may recur, but we can use the methods taught by counselors to deal with it! There is no need to panic; just remain calm.

We're so excited to share these suggestions with you! They're just a few ideas to get you started on your journey.

Wishing you the very best!

From what you've said, it seems like you've been using psychological counseling to help you with your problems. In a way, it's like using emotional makeup to fix your makeup.

It can help you rethink your values with the help of an external perspective. Through counseling, we can identify which past perceptions were one-sided and subjective so we can learn to face problems and solve them in a more objective way.

If you want to get to the root of the problems you're facing, you need to start with a clear understanding of yourself. That's where psychological counseling comes in.

So, we can tackle and overcome problems with a more positive, healthy, and optimistic mindset. But, if we rely solely on psychological counseling to improve our lives, we're going about it the wrong way.

So, this answer is going to focus on two things. The first is how you can adjust your state of mind at this stage.

The second thing is how to quickly improve your state of life.

1. How to adjust your state of mind at this stage

From what you've shared, it seems like your thinking is a bit muddled, your goals are unclear, and your attitude is negative. As you mentioned, "There are a lot of confusions. Ever since I can remember, I have been constantly confused in various ways, and I have been deeply affected by these confusions. Currently, I'm facing a lot of problems that have fallen behind due to the struggle with depression, so I don't understand many things about personal growth, life, and work. I also don't know the ways of the world well. I am often deeply affected and immersed by what others say about what I lack or what problems I have (in fact, many things are really not a problem, but I will become immersed in them and become entangled in various ways)."

I suggest we tackle this from three angles.

1. Get your thoughts in order.

First, grab a piece of paper and a pen, and jot down the problems you're currently facing.

Next, group these problems into three categories: workplace, life, and relationships.

Finally, rank the problems in each category based on how difficult you think it will be to solve them.

This will help you think more clearly and identify the problems you need to solve more easily. It's a good idea to tackle problems from the easiest to the hardest.

You'll gain confidence with each problem you solve, and you'll have one less problem to worry about. As you work through them, you'll feel more relaxed mentally and physically, and you'll be more confident about tackling future problems.

2. Create a development plan.

You might want to look for books on the subject or get professional psychological counseling in related fields based on the problems you have listed. This could be a more effective way of solving the problems you are facing at this stage.

Make sure you use your time wisely, based on your current work and life situation. It's a good idea to make the most of your fragmented time to improve yourself.

You can take courses on time management and self-acceptance to enrich your life through proper time management. It's also a good idea to make sure you're getting enough sleep to keep your mental state in good shape.

3. Stay positive and optimistic when facing problems.

In this world, everything has two sides. Pessimists often only see the negative side of things.

On the other hand, optimistic people tend to see the positive side of things. But it's important to remember that things themselves aren't always positive or negative.

So, why not try to be more optimistic and keep a positive outlook? When you feel good about yourself and your situation, it's easier to see the positives in life.

When you're doing things, you'll naturally have a lot more motivation.

2. How to Quickly Improve Your Life

From our conversation, I can see that you feel pretty powerless when it comes to dealing with your problems. This feeling of powerlessness shows up in two main ways.

The first is a failure to accept oneself. The second is a lack of a clear plan to improve the current situation.

Let's go over how to tackle these two issues one at a time.

It's important to learn to accept yourself.

To face the real you and accept yourself completely, you have to realize that nobody's perfect.

It seems that you haven't fully accepted yourself yet, given what you've shared in your narrative.

As you said, I'm unable to be in the present moment. The counselor told me that I'm unable to face my true self. I know this problem too, and I was told some ways to deal with it (I can also sense my feelings, and I don't want to face my true self). I don't know what to do. I don't want to make myself suffer so much. What should I do to break this deadlock?

To get a good grasp on who you really are, you need to take an objective look at things. It's important to accept that we all have strengths and weaknesses.

It's just that everyone's subjective focus is different.

It's possible to overlook some of the flaws in others, which can lead to a distorted view of your own strengths and weaknesses.

This can lead to feelings of psychological inferiority.

So, why not grab a pen and paper and jot down your strengths and weaknesses? Then, go through them one by one to see which strengths you can build on and which weaknesses you can correct.

It's a good idea to keep track of your changes.

As you work through this, you'll probably find that some of your shortcomings are pretty difficult to change. When you come across these issues, it's important to take a curve-saving approach.

And think about ways you can make up for your shortcomings.

For instance, some folks aren't great at socializing at work. One straightforward solution is to choose a job that doesn't require socializing, so that your shortcomings aren't so obvious to everyone.

Another way to improve your interpersonal skills is to read more books on the subject, learn from case studies, and apply what you learn in the workplace. You can also find a different way to solve problems that suits you.

For instance, let's say you're not the best at talking. You could do more practical things that benefit others, so that everyone can see you're friendly.

Ultimately, you'll be recognized by everyone.

So, many shortcomings are unchangeable, but you can make up for them. Thinking methodically is about thinking as comprehensively as possible, finding multiple ways to solve a problem, and then choosing the best one.

This will make it a lot easier to implement. When you realize that your mistakes are not hopeless, you'll also be more tolerant and accepting of them.

2. Put together a reasonable improvement plan.

At this stage, you're feeling negative and have put things on hold because you've lost interest. It's a common problem: procrastination.

As you said, you've been putting off your goals because of the negative stuff that's been going on in your life. You've also been saying you can stick to your goals, but things have changed a lot. Could you get some pointers?

To solve this problem, you need to set a goal and be clear about what you want to achieve. You also need to plan the process. You can't just do it half-heartedly. You need to develop an achievable plan and stick to it.

Ultimately, you need to gain the relevant knowledge and skills so that you can change your destiny.

When you have a clear, phased plan and know what difficulties and problems you'll face, you can tackle them one at a time.

You'll see the results of your improvement in no time. This will also give you a boost.

It'll give you more self-confidence and help you tackle whatever life throws at you.

And in the end, you'll be one step closer to your ideal.

Greetings.

It is important to acknowledge feelings of helplessness and loss.

It is imperative to encourage oneself.

1. The initial impression derived from the subject's statements was that they evinced a profound and encompassing affection for themselves, accompanied by a sense of support and motivation.

The sentence "I walked out of depression" encompasses several key concepts, including courage, strength, literacy, and cultivation.

2. You indicated that you are currently engaged in "growth consulting," which appears to be consistent with the concept of a collaborative, trusting consulting relationship. Such a relationship can be beneficial for both parties.

It is important to recognize that life is subject to fluctuations.

However, the strength in question appears to be akin to that of a runner in an 800-meter race, lacking both stamina and the ability to exert oneself fully. The individual in question also displays a lack of understanding of personal growth, life, and work, as well as a lack of social skills. This self-portrayal is, thus, a general one, and it is characterised by a lack of self-acceptance.

The question thus arises as to whether the aforementioned statement accurately reflects a state of confusion or whether it is, in fact, a manifestation of suppression.

Are you perplexed by the notion that you are not as proficient as your peers? Do you find yourself perplexed by the neglect and blame you have experienced from your parents?

Children often assist their parents in identifying justifications for their statements and actions. This can result in the children assuming responsibility for outcomes, while the parents may fail to cultivate a robust sense of accountability.

To confront one's authentic self is to confront one's imperfections without avoidance or denial.

The brain continues to engage in calculations such as, "Do others perceive me as inadequate?" and "What are the genuine perceptions of others regarding my actions?"

"How much more effort is required to become a better person?" Allow this idea to gradually dissipate.

If one sets goals without being able to confront one's authentic self, the resulting pressure will be amplified.

The process of setting goals is inherently about aspiring to surpass one's original self. However, the original self may prove to be a formidable obstacle, and its perception of reality may prove inadequate.

There is no inherent contradiction between having goals and engaging in self-deception. It is only natural to make some changes in line with the momentum of change when what has been said cannot be achieved for the time being. If we have to pay a price of shame and guilt for "telling big lies," the price is really too high.

It is recommended that one aspire to anything that is beautiful.

The interconnection between past and future

When Yuan Longping first commenced his research into hybrid rice, he employed the technique of transplanting, whereby a seedling is relocated to a different soil type and flourishes. This approach also facilitated Yuan Longping's expansion of his knowledge base in the field of hybrid rice research.

What is perceived as ordinary, or is disregarded, undervalued, or even disparaged by others, can prove to be a crucial factor in an individual's survival.

A change in perspective reveals that the capacity to recognize and appreciate differences, and to perceive genuine beauty, is a highly valuable human attribute.

"Immersing yourself in negative things delays recovery" is a facet of life that has resulted in a challenging situation. Occasionally, there are setbacks. It erodes confidence, making it increasingly probable that one must accept the accusatory tones and words as truth. These voices appear to be "prophets."

The ability to recognize and accept one's own emotional experiences, including joy, sorrow, anger, and fear, and to believe in one's capacity to heal and repair both the body and the mind, is a quality that many individuals lack.

Should one place greater trust in the counselor, one may attempt to transfer this sense of trust to oneself. This is one of the potential benefits of counseling.