It seems like you never trust others, always facing different people with various faces?

Hello!

Host:

Hi, I'm Zeng Chen, a heart exploration coach. I read your post and I totally get where you're coming from.

I also noticed that the poster has been really brave in expressing his distress and actively seeking help on the platform. I'm sure this will help him to understand and recognize himself better, so that he can adjust and encounter a better self.

I'd also like to share some thoughts from the post that I hope will help you see things differently.

1. How does the early upbringing environment affect us?

It's so sad to see that the original poster was a left-behind child. This meant that he rarely saw his parents when he was young.

Of course, I don't understand them. They don't understand me either.

Time and again, they used their own opinions to put a stop to my ideas before they even got off the ground. Seeing this, I particularly understand the original poster, and I particularly understand your heart. It seems that it is difficult to open up to others.

So let's take a look at why we are like this. The original poster mentioned that they have repeatedly used their own opinions to stifle my ideas from the very beginning.

So, what does that make us feel? It's a great idea for the host to take a moment to reflect on their own feelings.

Often, many people in such an upbringing environment, in order to adapt to such a living environment,

They'll find ways to cope that suit their environment. For instance, they might not share their true feelings with their parents or others around them. They might not expect others to understand them, or see themselves as they really are. This is just how they cope, and it helps them feel a little better. It's important to understand that kids naturally want to be liked and approved of by their parents. But when parents don't meet our expectations,

We might feel disappointed and hurt. Then, time and time again, we may close our hearts.

At least this way we won't be disappointed and hurt, right? I think we all know that once our hearts are closed, it's not so easy to open them again.

2. Why don't they trust others?

I think this may still be a way they learned to cope when they were little.

It's only natural to want to protect ourselves from getting hurt. So, when we are always being denied when we express our inner thoughts, we stop expressing our thoughts to protect ourselves. And when our thoughts are always being denied, it can feel like...

I think there might be a feeling of not being believed. It's so sad when our feelings aren't believed by the people who care for us.

If we take on this pattern of relationships and then project it onto other relationships, we might find ourselves feeling a little distrustful of others.

3. Give it a go! Try expressing your feelings in a way that feels right for you.

From an objective point of view, the host uses different masks to deal with different people. This can help us adapt better to society, which is a good thing!

So, we have to look at this objectively. It's just that if the host feels that this will make you feel a little bad, lonely, or won't allow you to have a deep relationship,

Then we can express our feelings in a really deep way that's also totally appropriate. And these feelings are for someone who's really important to you.

I truly believe that if we express our feelings in this way, the host will be able to have a deeper relationship with us. When hearts truly meet in a relationship, a deep connection is formed. And that's when trust is built.

And what is the true heart? It is our feelings!

When we express our feelings, we give the other person the chance to understand and get to know our true selves, don't we? I know it can be tough to express our feelings in the right way, so the original poster might also find it helpful to express their feelings in more depth by writing. Sharing more can really help in a relationship.

I really hope these are helpful and inspiring for you! If you have any questions, you can also click to find a coach for one-on-one communication and exchange. They can help you work together to face your problems.

Gu Yi is a modest and unassuming individual who is characterized by consistency.

If one is designated a hedgehog, it is indicative of the absence of any adverse interactions resulting from the presence of defensive thorns. Conversely, if one is identified as a chameleon, it suggests a tendency to prioritize self-preservation.

The wounds of childhood have caused you to become more humble.

In this world, trust is a scarce commodity, while distrust is a readily available resource. When one reflects on the experiences of their childhood, the rebellion and self-defense mechanisms that were developed to protect oneself may now serve as constraints, making it challenging to maintain proximity and sincerity.

It is not due to any lack of sincerity on your part, but rather a result of your apprehension about being sincere. Adopting a different stance towards different individuals can serve as a form of protection, and not disclosing your true feelings allows you to maintain a sense of mystery and elusiveness, which is an effective means of self-preservation.

It is, therefore, pertinent to inquire whether the subject in question is experiencing fatigue as a result of this mode of existence. Irrespective of the underlying cause of the lack of proximity to one's parents, the capacity to experience love is significantly diminished. Consequently, we engage in rebellion, and the ultimate objective of this rebellion is not to garner our parents' attention, but rather to attain a sense of existence from it.

As we are not parents and do not have the same concerns regarding financial security, it is understandable that we may find it challenging to comprehend this situation. However, it is crucial for us to assume responsibility for our own lives and to prioritize our own happiness, even if it means being kind to ourselves.

At a fundamental level, you crave comprehension, consideration, and affection. It is crucial to confront your authentic sentiments with courage. It is undeniable that your parents possess the utmost desire to ensure your well-being, yet the manner in which they express their affection may vary considerably.

It is likely that you also love your parents and friends, but the ways of expressing love are different. It is possible that your parents love in a somewhat clumsy way, believing that material gifts are sufficient and neglecting your spiritual needs. If we can empathize with their situation, it may be that our parents lack the time and resources to care about their own spiritual world, let alone yours.

In light of these considerations, it seems reasonable to posit that a more understanding and accepting approach might prove beneficial.

It is imperative to cultivate the capacity to love oneself.

Indeed, love is a reciprocal phenomenon. One aspect is the capacity to experience the love of others, and the other is the capacity to love others. The love we receive from our parents and friends is influenced by our own emotional state, which can lead to feelings of distrust and a lack of expression.

However, it is imperative to delve beyond the superficial aspects of our parents and friends to gain insight into their inner world. What role do we play in their lives? It is crucial to lower our defenses and allow ourselves to experience the love they offer.

With regard to the capacity to love others, it can be asserted that this is an inherent quality. However, its expression is contingent upon one's willingness to do so. If an individual maintains a distance from those in their immediate vicinity and isolates themselves, it becomes challenging for others to establish a connection and comprehend their true nature. It is important to recognize that one's actions, while potentially causing distress to those who love them, are not akin to the actions of a hedgehog, which uses its spines to inflict pain. Rather, the pain experienced by those who love you may be more acute than if they had been physically wounded.

It is reasonable to posit that all individuals desire recognition for their efforts.

It is recommended that one should endeavor to follow one's heart and thereby achieve a happier life. The presence of a romantic interest serves to mitigate feelings of loneliness.

Human beings are social animals that require a certain social environment in order to survive. They must believe in love and trust the people and things around them. As the adage goes, "Distance tests strength; time reveals character." Those who treat themselves kindly deserve a bright smile in return. It is this writer's belief that you can do it.

I extend my best wishes to you.

Hello, dear questioner! Please know that I'm sending you a big, warm hug from across the screen!

Hello, my name is Sunny, and I'm so happy to have met you on the Yixinli platform!

I'm so grateful to the questioner, who was once a left-behind child and is now an adult. You have such keen self-awareness! From the discussion topic you brought up: "It seems that I have never trusted others and always treated different people with multiple faces?" With this self-awareness, perhaps the reason why "I have never trusted others and always treated different people with multiple faces..." has become this way is not entirely your fault. The emotional connection with your parents and family members, the nurturing environment, and so on are all directly related.

It's so great that the questioner has grown up and seen some of the "problems" in themselves. This has opened up more possibilities for voluntary change! As long as you find the right method for yourself and stick with it, you'll gradually become the person you want to be.

I'm so happy to be able to share my thoughts with you on this topic, which I know is close to your heart.

I'm here to help!

Let's start by trying to make sense of the confusion the questioner is feeling.

On the parents' side, I was a left-behind child.

When I was young, I didn't get to see my parents very often. I didn't really know them at the time.

They didn't know me yet.

It's so sad that the questioner has been a "left-behind child" since childhood, seeing his parents rarely. It's possible that the "emotional connection" between the questioner and his mother is lacking, and there is also much less emotional attachment. It seems there is a relative lack of security between each other, and the relationship with his parents is a pattern of "insecure emotional attachment." This has sadly resulted in mutual distrust.

They've used their opinions to stop me from sharing my ideas, time and again.

It's possible that the parents weren't the best at parenting and could have benefited from some guidance. It seems like the parents' sense of self and the beliefs they passed on to the questioner were influenced by their own parents. It's also possible that the parents' need to provide for the family led to them having to leave the questioner behind and become a "left-behind child." We all have our own challenges, don't we?

I've always been true to myself, and I'm proud of that!

Even if I'm wrong, I don't need to prove myself to anyone who doesn't believe in me.

The latter is about how I treat my friends. I'm just not one to speak my mind very often!

You're the kind of person who says whatever you want to whoever you're talking to, which I think is great! Even if they're very close to me, I'm sure they don't know me.

I keep the truest part of myself buried in my heart, so that I can deceive everyone except myself at any time.

In the narrative, the questioner has always been true to themselves, which is great! It shows that you are a person with a strong sense of independence and self-awareness, daring to be yourself and not caring even if you do. It also seems that you don't care about proving yourself to people you don't trust.

Maybe it's because there's no one to trust, so the questioner doesn't open up their heart much. That makes it hard to exchange anything.

Over time, the questioner has learned to "read people," that is, as the questioner says, "to say whatever you want to say to the person you're with..." This is the result of the questioner's lack of a sense of security, and the use of psychological defense mechanisms such as "sensitivity/flattery/falsehood..." to adapt to real life. The questioner has learned the self-protective mode of "always on guard" since childhood.

As the questioner said, "I bury the truest part of myself in my heart, to the point that I deceive everyone except myself at all times."

Maybe this isn't what the questioner originally meant to ask, but it's a way of protecting themselves and staying safe. It's also a way of adapting to reality, right? But by doing this, the questioner has actually hidden parts of themselves and their emotions. This has led to the questioner becoming an untrue self. I wonder what kind of feelings and experiences the questioner has developed as a result. Perhaps this is also an important step for the questioner's future psychological growth and change. If you want to grow psychologically as soon as possible, you could benefit from the support of a professional psychological teacher.

I think the best thing you can do is try to deal with the situation as it is.

First, it's important to accept that you're a "left-behind child." This includes some of the challenges that left-behind children often face. It's also helpful to recognize and understand the ins and outs of this experience.

[1] First of all, I want you to know that it's not your fault to be a "left-behind child." It's a situation you had no choice in. As you grow, you'll start to recognize the "character defects/sensitivity/lack of security/distrust of others..." that you've brought along in your growth process.

Take, for instance, the questioner's narrative. It's clear that he rarely sees his parents. This might lead him to distance himself from them when he grows up, as he might feel insecure. He might feel that he doesn't have much of an emotional connection with his parents and that he doesn't know how to communicate with them. He might not feel secure and might not express his emotions.

[2] Accepting yourself Because of the so-called sense of security from an early age (especially the sense of security from the mother before the age of 3 is an important key node for establishing an emotional link to security and so on when we grow up), over time, a sensitive personality has slowly formed. Everything is done carefully and buried in the heart. Whatever happens, it is always kept inside, forming an emotional response that suppresses oneself?

[3] Every child longs to be close to their parents, and left-behind children are no exception. It's so sad when they've been separated from their parents for a long time, because they lack an emotional connection with them. Does the questioner feel that they have been emotionally neglected?

It would be great to know whether he or she will actively contact his or her parents when he or she grows up. And it would be really helpful to know whether he or she will hate his or her parents.

... When the questioner can slowly understand, recognize, and accept the limitations of their parents' parenting, will it help them feel less angry at their parents?

[4] It can be really hard to express your true inner self when there's no one you can trust around. It's so easy to end up repressing your feelings and emotions in that situation.

We all feel emotionally suppressed sometimes. It's okay to admit it! How did you save yourself and resolve the situation?

...like feeling insecure, having low self-esteem, wondering if you're worth anything, doubting your parents' love, struggling to trust and rely on others, including your own parents, and feeling depressed. These are all areas where you can keep growing and improving.

Second, it's important to be aware of your state, change your destiny, and practice being true to yourself. I believe in you! For example, you can learn to love yourself and improve your self-confidence. Best of luck!

[1] It's so great that you're aware of your own life "weaknesses"! That's the first step to making a change. It's inspiring to see you taking the initiative to come to this psychological platform for help. You're showing that you're ready to embrace a new path. As the saying goes, "My destiny is in my hands, not in the hands of the gods!"

I really hope it's true! I think the questioner came with an awakening to change their destiny. Could it be?

[2] Change is a process that requires not only awareness, but also practice, perception, experience, and continuous sublimation.

For example, reading and learning can help us recognize the limitations of our parents in our original family, become aware of the "unhealthy" parts of our lives and growth process, find the best method that suits us, achieve a breakthrough from our old self-image patterns, and become our true selves.

[3] I'd highly recommend reading books like "The Neglected Child: How to Overcome Emotional Neglect in Childhood," "High Sensitivity is a Gift," "Why Family Hurts," "Inferiority Complex and Transcendence," "Transcend the Original Family," "Meet the Unknown Self," "See the Growing Self," "Lifelong Growth," and "The Remarkable Self." I truly believe that through self-study, you'll gain a deeper understanding of yourself and achieve incredible self-growth. I feel that the questioner has a wonderful sense of self-awareness. I'm so excited for you! I wish you all the best!

[4] If you're still struggling to achieve self-redemption after learning these things, don't worry! You can always seek help from a professional psychological counselor to help you grow up more quickly.

I hope this response helps you think more deeply and find inspiration and help. I'd love to see you grow stronger and be your true self!

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I am your sunshine, the world, and I love you! ??

I am grateful for your willingness to engage in this discourse and to convey your thoughts in written form.

The comments indicate the distress and challenge the questioner experiences in trusting others.

The comments indicate the distress and challenge the questioner experiences in trusting others.

The inability to reveal one's authentic self to those in one's immediate vicinity is akin to donning both armor and a mask. While it may offer a sense of security, it also entails a significant burden and hinders one's ability to navigate freely. The truth that remains elusive behind the armor and mask may also engender feelings of loneliness and helplessness, leading to a pervasive sense of fatigue and despondency.

Expressing one's distrust of others on the Yi Xinli platform is inherently challenging. Routine concealment diminishes the likelihood of exposure, rendering it scarce, valuable, and rare.

This constitutes the initial stage, replete with the qualities of adventure and courage.

Furthermore, the following text aims to provide some ideas that will help individuals feel safe and be able to reveal themselves freely to a certain extent, particularly in the context of difficulties that arise from an inability to trust others and the concealment of one's true feelings.

In regard to the challenges associated with a lack of trust in others and the need to conceal one's true self, the following insights are offered with the aim of fostering a sense of security and facilitating the expression of one's authentic self to a certain extent.

1. Parents are constrained by their own limitations. Acknowledging this affords them liberation.

In addition to a lack of understanding, the experience of being left behind also involves a multitude of unspoken regrets. It is evident that the questioner displays a notable degree of stubbornness and persistence when their parents utilize their own opinions to stifle their ideas on repeated occasions.

It is not necessary for me to prove myself to anyone who does not believe in me.

This line of thinking evokes a sense of courage akin to that of a lone hero, accompanied by a concern that one's perspective may not be fully comprehended.

It is accurate to conclude that one of the advantages of such tenacity is that one's identity is not compromised by one's parents' perspectives. However, it is also evident that subsequent interpersonal interactions become characterized by a certain degree of caution and prudence.

The depth of human understanding is enhanced through interaction and verbal communication. In the absence of sincere communication, the other person is limited to making subjective judgments based on their past experiences, thereby forfeiting the opportunity to gain a deeper understanding of the other.

It is important to note that there is a significant risk associated with allowing oneself to become vulnerable without adequate preparation. Additionally, it can be challenging to muster the confidence required to do so.

Consequently, before taking action, it is possible to gain insight into the advantages and disadvantages of one's own perceptions. This allows for the removal of obstacles created by the past and, from a contemporary perspective, facilitates the pursuit of a new, more fulfilling way of life.

Secondly, in the context of real-life interactions, it is recommended to gradually introduce content that may be perceived as "less safe" within a secure and controlled environment.

For example, at the outset, the exposure may encompass inconsequential truths, one's general interests, the trivial aspects of one's personal experiences, or one's candid opinion on a current, controversial topic.

Such exposure is initially limited to a small group of individuals, typically friends with whom one has a positive relationship and with whom one has interacted for an extended period. Alternatively, there may be individuals in one's immediate vicinity who have been forthcoming about their lives.

In this manner, one may ascertain the veracity of being unclothed while simultaneously acquiring a greater degree of discernment regarding the extent of nudity that is both comfortable and appropriate.

In addition, assuming a calculated risk in a relatively secure environment can enhance the perceived reality and safety of such exposure.

In the preceding paragraphs, I have not attempted to elucidate the intricacies of human nature. Instead, I have focused on a single psychologist who is concerned with the emotional well-being of his patients. I extend my best wishes to you.

Greetings,

It is unclear whether this individual is experiencing a sense of coherence. It is possible that this person has not yet reached adulthood and is still in the rebellious teenage years. Regardless of what is said, it is unnecessary to prove oneself to others. However, it is particularly important to seek the approval of others.

It is evident that children who have been left behind require the approval of their parents to a greater extent than the average child. They also exhibit a robust sense of self-esteem and confidence.

You stated that you utilize a variety of personas to interact with different individuals, and I must acknowledge your ability to adapt to diverse circumstances. In reality, every adult, regardless of their intentions, will inevitably present a different aspect of themselves when engaging with different people, exhibiting one persona in public and another behind closed doors.

Furthermore, it is often the case that when one attempts to convey a particular message to an individual who is unable or unwilling to comprehend it, the result is often ridicule. Therefore, it is often more prudent to present information in a manner that aligns with the recipient's expectations and preferences.

In this world, loneliness and death are inevitable experiences that we must confront on our own. You assert that you have repressed your authentic self, yet I inquire: where is the authenticity of a self that has never existed?

The majority of individuals do not fully comprehend their own identity during their lifetime. The process of self-discovery is an ongoing one, and the ability to truly understand oneself is a rare and elusive quality. Many individuals are unaware of the motivations behind their actions.

Human nature is both simple and complex.

Such feelings can be as simple as experiencing joy when observing natural phenomena or appreciating the beauty of nature. Conversely, they can also be as complex as experiencing unhappiness despite having material wealth and desires fulfilled.

Therefore, the questioner need not concern themselves with our current behavior. Instead, they should focus on taking action. I find this saying particularly apt: "Rather than worrying about whether it will rain tomorrow, it would be more productive to find an umbrella now."

The ancient Greek philosopher Epictetus once said, "It is imperative to maintain an optimistic and confident outlook regarding matters beyond our control, while exercising caution and restraint with regard to those within our control. In other words, it is futile to fret over circumstances that are beyond our influence. Anxiety and fear, however, have a detrimental impact on our present state of mind. While anxiety does not alter the future, it can significantly affect our emotional well-being in the present moment. Similarly, fear, which is the only genuine source of concern in life, does not alter the problem itself. However, it can impede our ability to effectively address the problem at hand. It is, therefore, essential to make prudent use of the time at our disposal, which is within our control. It is crucial to exercise caution and restraint in all our endeavors."

If one is not careful and restrained, one may experience a transient period of elation, which will subsequently give way to a state of despondency. It is imperative to recognize that the present moment is a gift that should be embraced.

Therefore, it can be concluded that dwelling on past regrets or anticipating future concerns is an ineffective use of time and energy. Instead, it is crucial to focus on the present and actively engage in the task at hand.

It is my hope that the questioner will be able to find the means to protect themselves from the challenges that may arise tomorrow.

It is my hope that my response will prove beneficial to the inquirer, and I extend my gratitude to all for your attention. I am Jiusi, on Yixinli, and I extend my regards to the world.