It seems that stay-at-home moms are increasingly anxious, irritable, and constantly tired...

Dear questioner,

My name is Kelly, and I'd like to offer you a hug and a listening ear to address any concerns you may have.

✍️[Full-time mother]

I believe your thoughts are very insightful. I agree that raising children on one's own is indeed very important. I recently wrote a short article on this topic, and I am grateful that I was able to be there for my daughter throughout her early years, particularly before the age of three. A mother's presence and affection can provide a child with a sense of security and happiness that lasts a lifetime.

I'm also grateful that your child has such a wonderful mother.

Since welcoming our child into the world, we have also assumed the role of their primary caregiver. This journey has presented unique challenges. It has required significant adjustments to our sleep patterns, a dedication to our child's well-being, and a resilience that has been admirable to witness. I was deeply touched by your words.

✍️[About low self-esteem]

In the early stages of pregnancy, I was also facing a promotion at work. At that time, I was leading a team, but I found out that I was pregnant. I had a strong reaction, and I had to stay in bed from the first month of the beginning of the month. I rested until the sixth month, and I vomited and couldn't eat. I didn't go to work until my daughter was two years old. I also had a lot of pressure in the middle, afraid that I couldn't integrate into the workplace. After giving birth, the only people I came into contact with were children. The financial pressure was also very great. Later, I asked myself, is what we are doing with our children meaningful?

I wonder if there is anything more important than raising a child.

I would be grateful for any advice on how to balance my desire to advance my career with my wish to spend more time with my child.

At that time, I still felt it was best to continue caring for my child.

I focused my attention on caring for the child.

During the day, when the kids are at rest or in kindergarten, I chose to study. Now that the internet is so convenient, it can be a useful tool for thinking about how to combine strengths and competencies, including things that can be done while spending time with children in the future. It can also be helpful to consider that learning can make us more confident and give us access to some external resources.

I hope you find these references helpful.

1: I decided to learn Japanese while caring for my child, with the goal of potentially working for a foreign company in the future.

Later, as I had hoped, I was fortunate to be selected by three companies at the same time. I remember one interviewer saying to me, "Someone who can plan their own life can't be all that bad."

He also expressed his appreciation for my dedication to learning while raising a child. He noted that I am a responsible individual who will undoubtedly contribute to the company.

I found this experience quite encouraging.

2: My friends around me also combine their own expertise in various ways. For example, one friend who enjoys drawing keeps a record of the process of accompanying her child, drawing while recording in words. Later, my friend's daily drawings were published. She has participated in many activities and shares them with everyone on Weibo and Xiaohongshu.

She has also gained confidence, encouraged and recognized by everyone.

3: I also know a friend who is very talented at handicrafts. She has found a way to work freely, creating handicrafts and designing personalized bags and daily necessities. She has also found inspiration in Japanese artists (there are many related books).

✍️[The paradox of working out]

Dear questioner, I empathize with your situation. During that period, I also exercised at the gym, but found it to be quite time-consuming and expensive.

At a later point, I considered the possibility of taking turns. For instance, I could go to the gym, go for a walk or run for an hour in the morning or evening, while he stayed at home with the kids. After a year of exercising in this way, I found that I was in great shape and there were no more conflicts.

I believe the most important thing is that it is affordable.

I would be more open to investing in learning opportunities that could enrich me.

✍️[About Dad's Serious Illness]

My dear, I have also experienced something similar. At that time, my mother was not in good health, so I took on the responsibility of caring for my daughter while also finding time to care for my mother. I was not in good health myself, and I often fell ill during that time.

It was a challenging period in my life.

Subsequently, I pondered how I might more effectively navigate and endure this challenging period when the child is still young and the mother is seriously ill.

1: I reached out to my family to see who might be willing to face this challenge together and share the burden.

2: I made an effort to regulate my emotions. I came to understand that if my emotions were negative, things would likely take a turn for the worse. I sought the guidance of a psychologist to help me cope with my stress. I opened up to the counselor about my emotions, and after several sessions, I began to feel better.

3: During that period of time, I would read at night to try to understand the causes of my mother's illness and ways to deal with it. Later, my mother's health slowly recovered, and in the process, I also slowly came to understand illness, loneliness, death, and separation as things we all have to face in life.

(It prompted me to reflect on the essence of life and how to make the most of each day without regret.)

You might find it helpful to write in a diary to express your stress.

The questioner may also choose to write here, in the dynamic articles, including communities, chat rooms, and promptly express their stress. I myself and many teachers have found that speaking about our stress by writing, (I probably persisted for about six months), has helped my mood a lot.

5: The questioner is welcome to continue asking questions and may find much support from the teachers here. I hope this will be useful to you.

I'm here to support you through this time.

If it is not too much trouble, I would like to share a quote I read this morning with you.

I believe that the meaning of life lies in having the right outlook on life, so that our precious lives can shine with brilliance.

I believe that a positive outlook on life can help us to enrich our own lives, to achieve our personal ideals, and to live happy, fulfilled lives. It is important to dedicate our energy to the betterment of society and to avoid wasting time, being idle, and leaving regrets.

As long as I live, I will do my utmost to love the people around me, to fulfill my obligations, and to avoid letting past mistakes haunt us for the rest of our lives.

I am truly grateful for everyone in my life, as arranged by God.

It is inevitable that we will all experience confusion, pain, and depression at some point in our lives. It is important to remember that these challenges are part of the human experience and that it is not necessary to resist them. Instead, we can choose to accept them with courage and resilience.

I would like to wish you a very happy birthday.

My name is Kelly.

I would like to express my love for the world and for you.

Hello, I'm Ah Bai.

As a stay-at-home mother, you've made a lot of sacrifices in the hope of providing the best care for your child. After two years at home with your child, you're feeling a bit stuck. You haven't been promoted, and you sometimes feel inferior. As your child grows up healthy day by day, you think you can be liberated, but you never expected that you would fall into an even more depressing problem: your husband is sick.

So you feel anxious, stressed, irritable, tired, desperate, and maybe even lonely, aggrieved, tired, helpless, and even broken, right?

A full-time mother works 24/7, 365 days a year, without pay, and with constant dedication and sustained investment. The work a full-time mother has to do is pretty much everything: nanny, childcare worker, nutritionist, shopper, early childhood teacher, and so on. And this job starts the day the child is born and lasts at least 2 years, sometimes even longer.

On top of the family budget, the heavy workload, the pain of being unappreciated, the dilemma of having no income, the urgency to give their children the best education, and the endless emergencies, stay-at-home mothers have to deal with a lot of physical and mental pressure. The more time they spend away from the workplace, the more pressure they face.

We spend a lot of time on our kids and family, but we don't take care of ourselves. In their prime, they're all in for their kids and family, making it tough for them to study or grow. Even if they can go back to work, they've already missed the best years for advancement, and they still face a lot compared to men.

It's not just the heavy workload that overwhelms women, but also the lack of understanding from their husbands. Losing financial independence, your social circle, and your regular routine can really take a toll on your self-worth.

It seems that when you lose your financial income, you also lose some of your power in the family.

So, how can stay-at-home mothers manage their mental health to feel more self-love?

1. Prioritize self-growth.

2. Don't make family and children the be-all and end-all of your life.

3. Take care of yourself and treat yourself well.

4. Manage your emotions and don't assume things about yourself or others.

5. Be a good learner, use your brain, roll up your sleeves, get out there, and connect with others.

Given all the things you have going on, it's only natural for negative emotions to pile up. The best approach is to tackle one problem at a time, face it head-on, and try to find a solution. It's important to remember that emotions don't form overnight.

When you feel anxious, take a moment to think about what's causing it. Is it actually true?

Has it already happened?

It's also worth checking if your anxiety is a reflection of your inner self. Are you feeling dissatisfied with others or with yourself?

All mothers are really tired, and they still give so much of themselves to love their children. Every day, you have to remind yourself that it's okay to be imperfect, that you can't do everything, that you can't do it well, that it's okay.

You can take a break, unwind, and be less than perfect. People who try to be perfect are anxious.

Have you ever considered whether you've been labeling your husband, children, or other family members?

Take a deep breath and think about how you're feeling. Then, look at the situation again and see the real people involved: your husband, your children, and your loved ones. Try to look at them and yourself objectively, beyond your emotions.

When was the last time you felt genuinely happy? When was the last time you cried your eyes out?

Maybe if you let go of your need to be strong, your competitiveness and perfectionism, and just let yourself cry, it will be good for your body and soul!

If you're being too hard on yourself, try treating yourself more kindly. Give yourself a hug. You're not perfect, and you don't have to be! You can take a break.

You can put it on the back burner for a while. Trusting yourself to take a deep breath and slow down is also a way to find a better state of mind to get along with your family and the world.

Take a moment to ask yourself how you're really feeling. Start by loving yourself, using your brain more, learning more, and connecting more.

No matter what you do, there's a positive motive behind it. Your state of mind has a big impact on how you handle things. Think about it: when you're happy, you see the bright side of things, but when you're in a bad mood, you tend to focus on the negative.

Find your own pace and approach. Standpoints and characteristics are different. When you take the time to think through these issues, you'll find the answers, the direction of action will become clear, and you'll learn how to deal with it. Before you know it, everything will be fine.

Once we've dealt with our emotions, we'll be able to think more clearly again. It's best to take it one step at a time, and to think things through before we act.

It's good to remember that we should focus on one thing at a time and not get bogged down in too many things.

I wish you the best of luck.