It was like a broken heart, the first time. I didn't know how to get out of it.

Hello, my name is Jiayun.

I sense that you may be emotionally dependent on him, someone you've been corresponding with online for more than four months. When she stopped responding to you and unilaterally cut off contact, you felt a sense of abandonment and experienced feelings of sadness and desperation. You have the option to express your pain here and seek help, which will allow you to process these emotions in a supportive environment.

It seems that you invest a great deal of time and energy into her, and when she does not respond to you throughout the day, you feel frustrated and neglected.

It would be helpful for you to let her know in advance if you need her to be there all the time, even if she is busy with other things. This way, you may feel valued, but it's important to be aware that not everyone can meet your requirements.

Everyone is essentially independent, with their own personalities, hobbies, habits, pursuits, etc. Even if you are very close, it's not always easy to make two people 100% in sync. If you use your own emotional standards to demand things from your partner, they may feel pressured and restricted. When they can't take it anymore, they might choose to escape.

It might be helpful to consider that if you want her to pay more attention, she may want you to give her more freedom.

If we can find a balance between attention and freedom that is acceptable to both of us, then we can both get what we want and the relationship will be healthy.

If we focus solely on our own needs and are reluctant to consider the needs of others, it can create a sense of imbalance in the relationship.

When we meet someone who has a positive effect on us, we may find ourselves wanting more. For example, you mentioned that she can teach you a lot and encourage you. It's important to remember that the other person is just as worthy of positive attention as we are. We all have the capacity to give and receive warmth and support.

It would be beneficial for us to seek out our own light and share it with others, while also allowing ourselves to receive the light of others.

Perhaps, after navigating the challenges of this relationship, you will gain insight into how you can brighten the lives of others.

Hello. I can sense your frustration, anger, anxiety, and despair from your description.

You met her on SM, and she's your superior. You've been chatting on WeChat for more than four months, and now it's over.

You feel like she taught you a lot of valuable life lessons and always encouraged you, so she was a great influence on you.

You were very dependent on her, hoping she'd be there for you all the time, and you also made demands, asking her to let you know if she couldn't do something.

But you realize that you don't value her as much as she values you, and that you often feel neglected, which makes you feel insecure.

I think at this time you must feel helpless, very aggrieved, desperate, sad, and even filled with anger and hatred. You don't know why you valued and cared for her so wholeheartedly, but she couldn't return your sincerity.

Is that right? You're not sure how to get out of this relationship.

It's important to accept yourself as you are.

When you lose someone you can trust and rely on, you might feel aggrieved, disappointed, angry, and helpless at first. Give yourself some more time to get used to your feelings.

It's totally normal to have these feelings.

It's not a good idea to force yourself to forget or fight against your feelings. It's easier to come out of the emotion.

Your personality is immature, which makes you overly dependent on others.

In a relationship, your insecurity can make you cling to people and become overly dependent and controlling.

At the same time, you also have a lot of demands on that person because you feel abandoned if they leave you, even if it's just for a little while.

This can make the other person feel controlled, pressured, and annoyed.

This can make the other person feel like they've lost their freedom and are being restricted. At the same time, no one wants to carry the weight forever.

Love is a two-way street.

Love is mutual, not just taking and guessing. You only ask the other person to satisfy you, but you can't see or believe in their feelings and emotions.

The other person tells you that their family member has been diagnosed with cancer and they are upset. At this time, you don't care about the other person's feelings at all. Instead of offering comfort and support, you doubt and question them.

At this point, you're only focused on your own feelings and unable to offer the other person any help or companionship. Instead, you become a burden and a nuisance, making people want to stay away.

You don't think someone can truly love you from the bottom of their heart.

At your core, you don't believe that anyone can truly love you. This makes it tough for you to trust the other person in a relationship and often leads to feelings of being deceived.

It doesn't matter what the other person says or does, you just won't believe it and think it's an excuse.

If you don't believe that others will love you, you won't feel satisfied no matter what they do.

Emotional blackmail makes people feel threatened.

When she once again failed to keep your promise, you told her that you were done and deleted her.

I don't think you're actually suicidal, but you're trying to get the other person's attention by acting this way.

You know the other person hasn't deleted you, and you're using their kindness and affection to blackmail them.

Sometimes we overestimate our position in someone else's heart. Not only do we fail to threaten, but we also put ourselves in a passive position. This makes people feel disgusted and want to stay away.

On the other hand, if we don't take our own lives seriously, it's also difficult for others to care about our lives.

Best,

Greetings!

I empathize with your anguish and exasperation stemming from your emotional distress. Offer you a comforting embrace.

First, it is advisable to attempt to regulate one's emotional state.

The dissolution of an intimate relationship, particularly one in which a profound sense of dependence is established, inevitably gives rise to a profound sense of internal frustration. In such circumstances, narcissism is likely to be adversely affected, resulting in feelings of self-blame, self-deprecation, hurt pride, and a complex web of painful emotions, including guilt and frustration. It is important to recognise that these emotions are a normal response to such circumstances and that it can be challenging to make rational judgments and think clearly when one is experiencing such negative emotions. In such cases, the most important thing is to try to adjust one's emotions.

It is important to be understanding, tolerant, and accepting of one's emotions. It is also important to recognize the need for time to heal and adjust. One can engage in self-care practices such as talking to a good friend, spending time in the sun, exercising moderately, listening to music, eating a delicious meal, engaging in activities one enjoys, practicing self-kindness, allowing oneself to be embraced by oneself, and gradually soothing and resolving negative emotions.

It is important to be aware of and accept one's own self-centered tendencies.

To establish and maintain a long-lasting intimate relationship, it is essential to learn to think from the other person's perspective. For instance, when one has needs for the other person, it is crucial to consider the other person's feelings. It is imperative not to be self-centered and assume that the other person should always satisfy one's needs. This often results in the other person feeling pressured and anxious. As the relationship progresses, the other person may feel increasingly oppressed or even suffocated, leading them to seek escape from the relationship.

For example, when there is a perceived reduction in the amount of communication between partners during the weekends, it is advisable to consider the possibility that the individual in question may have their own weekend plans. Similarly, when a partner discloses that a family member is unwell and experiencing distress, it is important to provide them with additional care and support, rather than assuming infidelity or making excuses.

It is important to recognize that everyone is self-centered to some extent. However, it is essential to develop the ability to empathize with others and consider their perspectives in any relationship. This can facilitate the creation of a relationship that is mutually beneficial and comfortable for both parties.

It is recommended that individuals increase their independence and establish a healthy attachment.

The manner in which individuals interact in intimate relationships is frequently shaped by their experiences within the familial unit. The manifestation of excessive dependence on a partner in an intimate relationship may be associated with early developmental experiences and the absence of secure attachment patterns during childhood.

Awareness of this aspect can facilitate adjustment and healing during the romantic relationship stage. In your description, you stated, "She's perfect, she's my master." This may be due to a combination of factors, including idealization, perfectionism, and dependency.

Over-reliance on others has the potential to result in a loss of self-identity and the imposition of significant stress on the individual, which may ultimately lead to the dissolution of the intimate relationship.

In order to establish a long-lasting and stable intimate relationship, it is essential to first develop one's own independence, self-reliance, and sense of security.

In an intimate relationship, a secure and healthy attachment model is characterized by the presence of both intimate needs and personal space. It is essential for the two individuals in the relationship to establish clear boundaries.

It is important to process the confusion and bewilderment that arise during this experience. Each experience presents an opportunity for personal growth. It is essential to look towards the future, continuously strive for self-improvement, and anticipate the positive aspects of the future.

It is my hope that Hongyu's reply will prove beneficial to you. I am grateful for your inquiry.