It's so hard to love myself... What should I do if I've read many books and still can't?

Hello, landlord! I'm thrilled to answer your question.

Self-help books say I still love myself even though I'm not perfect. I've tried many books and videos, and I'm excited to see what the future holds! Self-righteousness is a matter of time.

The tablet broke accidentally, but that just means I get to start fresh! The internal conflict has started again, but I'm ready to face it head on.

I'm still working on it!

You can even sense your inner pain and helplessness through the description of the material! Before answering your question, I would like to ask:

I'd love to know how you define loving yourself! And what behaviors fall under the category of loving yourself?

Go ahead and indulge your weaknesses, forgive your mistakes, and allow yourself to procrastinate!

Or go ahead and ignore your laziness!

You know what? I've discovered something really exciting! It's about achieving a sense of existence and value. It's an instinct! And here's the really cool part: when you fight against your instincts, you're actually fighting against your needs and your driving force!

Even if this confrontation temporarily wins, in the long run this victory will be extremely powerful!

It challenges the status quo of tolerance and indulgence.

If you drop your tablet today, you will definitely severely blame yourself. But here's the good news: the purpose of this kind of self-blame is not self-denial!

It's about shedding the parts of yourself that hold you back and becoming stronger, better, and more progressive!

On the surface, one is strict with oneself, but the ultimate goal is to make oneself better! It is like the growth of a snake, which requires a molt.

It's a challenging process for a snake, but so worth it! Don't you love yourself?

To grow, you must shed your hard outer shell! In life, what protects us will ultimately limit us.

To be critical of oneself is to break through the limitations imposed on oneself by the outside world. It means that the self is urging itself to complete its own metabolism—and it's a wonderful thing!

From this perspective, you are also doing yourself a favor! To love yourself is to love yourself in a whole new way.

I'm thrilled to have an appointment in 1953! The world and I love you!

Hello!

I'm going to give you a big, warm pat on the shoulder (it's like a hug, but with more encouragement!)

If you have hot water nearby, why not make yourself a cup of warm tea or a cup of hot coffee to cheer yourself up and banish that mood drop and frustration caused by the broken tablet? You'll feel a lot better in no time!

It turns out that loving yourself is so difficult, but it's also so rewarding! What if you can't do it even after reading a lot of books?

Absolutely! Loving yourself is not as easy as our brains understand. There's a saying that "knowledge is easy, but action is difficult." From a psychological point of view, loving yourself includes more emotional awareness and the need to see and feel. A child who has been neglected and treated silently for a long time may not know how to love themselves. But there's hope! The root cause is that they have never experienced being loved.

For example, in a coffee shop, if you are with a friend, when the coffee is served, you will subconsciously offer it to her, along with a tissue. This is because you are aware of your friend's possible needs, and you give them recognition and importance. Your friend will smile knowingly when she takes the coffee and tissue, because her needs have been well taken care of and satisfied. But if I go to the coffee shop by myself, will I pay attention to my own needs in time?

Then, when it comes to the topic of loving yourself and embracing your true self, I find it a bit challenging. But why is that?

It's totally normal to have trouble understanding yourself at first. We're constantly searching for the answer to the question "Who am I?" We might think we're a girl, a student, a model employee, but when it comes to our own lives, we're still figuring it out. When we can't see who we are, it's easy to lose sight of our true inner needs and feelings. But that's okay! It's all part of the journey.

The questioner didn't cite an example of why they thought they needed to care for themselves, but that's okay! This is actually an opportunity to understand yourself, a turning point. So, for now, the answer can only be a simple response based on the questioner's list. For example, if the tablet is broken, I don't know what the first thought or reaction of the questioner was, but I bet it was something interesting!

I really failed! How could I not even hold the tablet steady? Or why did I make such a silly mistake? Or why is everyone else able to do everything perfectly, while I'm still learning and growing?

Of course, other thoughts will pop up, but seeing this thought will reveal the problem behind it. There has always been an element of blame, judgment, and negation, so the feeling is naturally very negative and terrible. But, you can absolutely extricate yourself from such a negative feeling! Let's ask ourselves: is the problem really as I think it is – "Am I really a terrible person?" and "Am I really a person who lacks value and therefore cannot be recognized?"

Take a closer look at the thoughts and ideas behind this. See how they've been formed and what makes them tick. You'll probably find some irrational beliefs or ideas there. These are the ones that we really needed in the past but never saw or accepted. It's time for a change! We can all undergo a process of social transformation. It's a journey of self-discovery and acceptance. Once we've formed a healthy and complete self, we'll never look back. We'll be free to truly accept ourselves and live our best lives!

So, here's the good news! The solution to the problem is simple: help yourself see your inner needs, listen to your inner voice, care for and love yourself. The inner child is a self that has not been truly accepted and internalized. I need to carefully accompany, support and encourage it, and recognize myself. I will gradually learn how to accept myself and how to truly learn to love myself, and a strength will form within me that is not easily taken away by the outside world, and I will perceive the full value of myself and develop inner confidence.

I really hope the above answers can help you!

Wishing you the very best!

Hello! I really hope my answer can be of some help to you.

It's totally normal to find it tough to love yourself. In fact, many of us struggle with this. But it's something we can work on and get better at with practice. When you're feeling down, it's a great time to remind yourself how much you're worth. We all need to practice self-love throughout our lives because, as humans, we tend to be our own worst critics. But taking the time to reflect on our lives can help us grow. However, we can also get caught up in negative thoughts and feel down. When this happens, it's important to find ways to lift ourselves out of that negative cycle and into a positive one. With time and practice, we can move from a place of self-denial, self-attack, and self-criticism to a place of self-understanding, self-acceptance, and self-care. This is what will truly help us grow and change.

I'd love to share some advice with you:

It's so important to understand what it really means to love yourself.

I used to be someone who didn't know how to love myself very well. But, over time, through years of learning and growing, I slowly learned how to love myself and have come to some conclusions that I'd like to share with you. We can learn and practice "loving ourselves" in the following five ways:

1. Loving yourself is about embracing your true self, warts and all!

2. Be your own "inner parent" and take full responsibility for your life, rather than passing the buck. To be your own inner parent is not to dote on yourself, but to embrace yourself completely. However, it also requires discipline and rules, which is being responsible for yourself.

2. Be your own "inner parent" and take full responsibility for your life, rather than passing the buck. Being your own inner parent is not about spoiling yourself, but about embracing yourself completely. However, it also requires discipline and rules, which is being responsible for yourself.

3. Be your own inner child, and have a good, honest look at yourself. Be open and honest with yourself, and don't be afraid to face the parts of yourself that you might find challenging.

4. Be your own best friend! Listen to yourself, empathize with yourself, and encourage and support yourself.

4. Be your own best friend! Listen to yourself, empathize with yourself, and encourage and support yourself.

5. Be your own best friend! Trust, appreciate, love, and never give up on yourself.

5. Be your own best friend! Trust, appreciate, and admire yourself, and never give up on yourself.

2. Loving yourself is something you have to keep practicing. It's totally normal to feel emotional from time to time. But when you feel like you're slipping back into old patterns, that's the perfect time to practice some self-love!

It takes more than one day to freeze three feet of ice, right? Our old patterns have formed very stable neural imprints and response patterns. If we are not aware of them, we will of course continue to maintain and repeat them. To rewrite these old patterns, we need to constantly expose ourselves to new experiences and new patterns to replace them. This requires a lot of practice. And it is precisely when the old patterns reappear that it is the best time for us to rewrite them.

If a tablet accidentally falls and cracks, we can love ourselves enough to understand that we'll have internal conflict. We can remind ourselves that this is just a recurrence of our old patterns. We can tell ourselves that it's okay, that we see our emotions and our internal conflict, that it's normal, and that we understand ourselves. But we can also choose to treat ourselves in another way. For example, we can cross our arms and hug ourselves, tap our shoulders alternately, call our name, or say something to ourselves like a good friend comforting us. We can see if it will have an effect.

At the end of the day, I'm actually using the method of "self-care." Treat yourself as you would your best friend: with gentleness, understanding, kindness, care, and attention. Every time the self-critical mode comes out, we can replace it with self-care. Over time, we will truly change. Believe in the power of accumulation. Many of us have gone through this, and we are still constantly practicing it. Enjoy the process of loving yourself; it will make you better and better.

I really think you should read the book Mindfulness: Self-Care. It's got some great, detailed, practical and effective exercises and methods on how to love and care for yourself. The most important thing is to do lots of practice, not just try it out and expect results from your practice. And I also wish you lots of blessings as you grow to love yourself more and more!

I hope this is helpful for you! Sending you lots of love and best wishes!

Hello, questioner!

You're struggling to love yourself, and I can see you're trying to change, but nothing's working. When the tablet cracks, you can't let go and you're still consumed internally.

If you're used to self-doubt and overthinking, it will take time and effort to love yourself and make changes.

First of all, you must accept your own imperfections. Imperfection is part of human nature and not a defect. Allow it to exist and accept it.

A cracked tablet is a normal phenomenon. Don't waste time wondering why it's broken or what trouble it will cause. Take a step back, accept the fact, replace it when it's time, and reduce internal friction.

Second, you must cultivate the habit of caring for yourself.

1. Take care of your body and mind. You must maintain a regular routine, eat a balanced diet, and exercise moderately.

You must also set aside time for relaxation and entertainment, such as reading, meditation, walking, or doing whatever you enjoy.

2. Learn to say no. You must set boundaries in interpersonal relationships. Don't compromise yourself to take care of other people's emotional feelings. It will only increase your internal conflict.

3. Seek support when you need it. Don't wait until you're physically or mentally exhausted or facing difficulties. Get help from those around you to resolve the problems as soon as possible and reduce internal friction.

4. Develop hobbies. Immerse yourself in the things you love. You will gain happiness and satisfaction. This is a way to love yourself.

I am certain that by making these adjustments, you will learn to love yourself better.