I've already tried so hard. What is the limit of what one person can endure?

Hello, my child. I hope my answer can be of some help to you.

I can see that you're feeling helpless, frustrated, and overwhelmed. You've tried your best, but your family doesn't recognize your efforts and always thinks you're not good enough. I want to give you a hug and hope you can feel some warmth and support. I want to tell you that it's not your fault. Parents also have their limitations. You need to look at yourself more objectively, give yourself more support and understanding, and slowly help yourself out of your predicament.

My advice to you is:

You might want to try talking to your family about how you really feel and what you want from them. It could also help to change your perspective and see that things aren't as bad as they seem, that we're not wrong, and that family members have their own limitations.

Have you ever told them directly that they don't know the real you or that you don't want them to say you're lazy? You can tell them what you really think, but you need to be careful about how and when you say it.

It's important to communicate effectively when everyone's in a good mood and the atmosphere is positive. When speaking, it's essential to avoid criticizing or accusing each other. Instead, present the facts objectively and then calmly express your feelings and needs.

For instance, you could say to your mother, "Mum, you think I haven't improved. I actually feel aggrieved, uncomfortable, and sad when I hear that. I've worked really hard, from 80 to 130.

I do my homework every day until 9:30, and I still have to prepare for exams, review, recite, brush up on questions, and listen to audio. I really think I've done my best. Sometimes I feel really tired, but I'm not afraid of being tired. I just hope that you can give me more understanding, support, and encouragement. This will give me more motivation to keep studying and make me believe that I can become better. In the future, can you give me more affirmation and support?

"

When you express your thoughts and needs, family members may not necessarily change. After all, it is always difficult to change others. We need to see their limitations. Perhaps, they are also trying their best to be good to us, but they just don't know there are other ways to be good to you. So, try to communicate as much as you can. As for how much they can change, you also need to let it go. Anyway, you can express yourself, and at least your heart will feel a little lighter.

They're all just looking at you from their own perspective. What they say isn't because it's your fault. It's because they have a lot of their own complexes that they haven't resolved. They're projecting these anxieties and complexes onto you. This shows that they care about you and hope you can do better. They're expressing their expectations of you. They're saying you're lazy. They're afraid you won't be able to take care of yourself in the future. Grandma's catchphrases reflect her hope you can be healthier. She's worried about you. Behind all these scoldings are concerns for you. Behind these concerns is her love and care for you. You can appreciate this. You might feel differently.

2. You can use the method of "turning critical voices into cartoon character voices" to help you feel better and deal with negative thoughts.

Do you find that negative voices in your head are a regular occurrence? If so, you can try this exercise:

Now, picture a cartoon character with a really funny voice, like Donald Duck, Mickey Mouse, or Piggy. Close your eyes and imagine that voice, like that you're lazy. Just focus on the changes and sensations in your body.

Then, picture the voice criticizing you as if it were the voice of a cartoon character. See how your emotions change.

Once you've done this exercise, that unpleasant feeling you get when you hear a cartoon character's voice will slowly disappear. It's because cartoon characters are strongly associated with pleasant and funny things, which makes it hard for negative feelings to stick around.

It's important to note that this practice needs to be done consistently. You can practice multiple times in response to different critical voices, and it will be effective.

3. You can relieve study pressure through aerobic exercise, which helps improve your emotional intelligence.

Aerobic exercise, such as swimming, running, dancing, playing basketball, or playing football, can help reduce the body's response to stress. When you're exercising, your brain is relaxed, which can naturally relieve the tension during learning. This can help promote learning and improve learning efficiency. When we face complex interpersonal relationships and a mountain of homework, after exercising, your anxiety and depression will be greatly reduced.

If you're having trouble sleeping because you're stressed about studying or your relationships, aerobic exercise can also help you sleep better and feel better.

You can also use methods like talking to friends, keeping an emotional diary, reading relevant books, etc. to help relieve stress and adjust your emotions. I've seen that other respondents have given specific suggestions, which you can refer to. I also hope that you can feel our care and support for you. You've got this!

Wishing you the best!

Hello! I'll give you a warm hug from afar first!

You can feel the sense of grievance, anger, helplessness, and powerlessness in your heart when you feel more rejected, denied, scolded, and ignored by your family. But you can also feel the longing to be understood, accepted, affirmed, and loved!

Have you ever wondered why you feel so much pain when facing verbal and behavioral abuse from your family? It's because you identify with and internalize their way of treating you. You may think you're not good enough and can't meet their expectations. This makes you feel helpless and powerless when facing abuse from your family. But you can change this! You can seek a more appropriate way to protect yourself. What do you think?

The way a person is treated determines how they treat themselves and others. And guess what? It's not because you are not good enough, you do not meet their expectations, or you do not work hard enough! It's more likely that they were also treated in this way by their parents when they were growing up. They are children who lack love and do not know how to love. When they are not aware of the way they were raised, they unintentionally bring this kind of harm to you. But here's the good news: you can change this!

So, when you're faced with hurt caused by the words and actions of family members, you can choose to take the brave and sincere route. You can express your true feelings and needs in that moment, without judging their words or actions. You can simply express your true feelings, so that they are clearly aware that their words and actions have deeply hurt you and that you cannot be treated this way.

An emotional diary is a great way to record your feelings over time. It helps you understand your emotions better, see the hidden needs behind them, and find more appropriate ways to respond to yourself. Give it a try!

I highly recommend you read "The Original Family," "We Have All Been Hurt, But We Have a Better Life," and "Light Healing." You'll love them!

I'm Lily, the little ear of the Q&A Museum! The world and I love you!