I've had suicidal thoughts since I was a child, and now that I've grown up, I self-harm. What's wrong with me?

Hello, my name is Qingxiang, and I'd love to chat with you about this topic.

From what you've told me, it seems like you've been struggling with some self-harming behaviors and intense thoughts.

First of all, I want to give you a big, warm hug! You've been through so much, and you've worked so hard. You're amazing! I know that past experiences can't be changed, but I truly believe that the pain you feel can be completely transformed.

I'm not sure what you're going through or what your situation is, so I don't want to give you any advice.

I'd love to share some thoughts with you.

Greg S. Reed says in The Right Amount of Failure:

"Most people stop in the face of setbacks because they don't realize that they are just part of the journey, my friend."

"Setbacks and failures can help us figure out which path isn't working so we can focus our energy on the path that will work."

If you can, I'd really love it if you could try the following when you feel stressed.

1) Distraction

Distraction strategies are a great way to help relieve tension. Try to distract yourself by

Why not try counting from 1 to 1,000, watching a movie or series, eating some of your favorite snacks, doing some household chores, going outside and exercising, and anything else you like?

2) Take care of yourself, sweetie!

Any activity that promotes well-being by making you feel relaxed and comfortable is a great idea! Some activities to try are:

Why not treat yourself to a long, relaxing bath with your favorite music playing in the background? Or perhaps you'd enjoy wrapping yourself in a cozy blanket, cooking a healthy meal, or quietly drawing something. Reading in a comfortable spot is always a great idea, too! Whatever you choose to do, just remember to take care of yourself.

3) Vent

When you're feeling stressed, it's always a good idea to do something to relieve the pressure or tension.

Do you want to relieve some stress? Of course you do! Well, try doing some vigorous exercise or dance to some upbeat music, go outside and do some light exercise or sprinting, pop balloons or bubble wrap, etc. There are so many other safe things that can help relieve stress.

4) Empty your mind

When you have a moment, why not try emptying your mind and thinking of nothing at all? There are lots of lovely activities you can try:

You can also try some relaxing yoga, deep breathing exercises, meditation, or mindfulness practices at home.

5) Expressing feelings

If you're looking to release those emotions, there are some great alternative ways you can do that.

It's so great that you're seeking help through the Yi Xinli platform! I can see that you're already aware of your actions and thoughts, and you're ready to face them head-on and embrace change. When you have these thoughts, change has already begun! There are so many ways to cope with difficult emotions. You can write down your feelings in a diary, find a quiet place to yourself or talk to a trusted friend, or even express your feelings by crying.

6) Alternative sensations

We all have those moments when our thoughts get the better of us. When this happens, try some of these simple alternatives:

There are lots of other things you can try, like rubbing ice cubes on your skin, taking a cold shower, drawing with a red marker, lightly bouncing your skin with rubber bands, clapping your hands, or stomping your feet.

I see you've found your way to the Yi Xinli platform, which is great! It shows you're ready to take the first step towards making a change. I can see you've already taken the first step by recognizing your actions and thoughts. That's a great start!

You're already making a change when you have these thoughts.

You've got this!

I really hope you'll try to get some help from professionals, like offline counseling centers or hotlines, or even the wonderful people on the Yixinli platform. Professional help can really help you understand yourself better and get out of your current situation more quickly.

Hi, I'm Qingxiang, and I just wanted to share some thoughts and suggestions that I hope will be helpful for you.

I love you, world! And I love you, too, my friend!

Dear questioner,

Hello! You mentioned that you have had self-harm-whats-wrong-with-me-10154.html" target="_blank">suicidal thoughts since you can remember, that you have engaged in self-harm, and that you stand on tall buildings and imagine jumping off them. However, you have held on until now because you think of your parents and friends.

I can only imagine the challenges you're facing, and I admire your resilience. I'm not sure how you've managed to persevere thus far. If I could, I'd give you a warm hug to show my support.

I can see that you are not just passively persevering, but are constantly trying to change this state of affairs. For example, you took the initiative to take a psychological test and come here to ask questions. However, I believe that the results of the psychological test are only a reference, and that a specific interview may be required to diagnose any psychological problems.

You say that you lie in bed and don't want to move, that you are very annoyed and confused. It seems like there are only problems, but we also say that behind every problem there is a goal, and behind every complaint there is an expectation.

If you don't have expectations for a better life for yourself and a desire for your ideal state of being, you may find that these worries and confusion dissipate.

I don't know what your childhood experiences were like, but it seems that you began to think about life and explore the value and meaning of your existence at a very young age, which is quite admirable. "Why live?" is actually a very important question. If everyone lives aimlessly, lacking in reflection on life, then I think they may also leave this world with a lot of regrets.

It may be the case that thinking about death is simply a way of living better. However, it seems that the meaning of life may not have ready-made answers waiting to be discovered, but rather needs to be experienced and felt.

You mentioned that you hurt yourself and feel better when you see the blood. Could this be because it helps you release your emotions, or because it makes you feel like you exist and are alive? It's possible that when an individual is surrounded by a sense of hopelessness, their sense of reality may also decrease. Perhaps we could explore ways to prove that we are still alive and existing.

It's possible that self-harm is a way for you to save yourself and make yourself exist. However, this method has the drawback of being based on harming yourself, so we may need to find some other alternative methods.

It seems that you are already trying to survive, and that you have family and friends to care about. I think you also want to live with more motivation and strength. However, you may benefit from taking another step, and regular psychological counseling may be helpful.

While this may be challenging and may require time, the process itself could be an opportunity for us to gain a deeper understanding and insight into life and death.

I hope my answer will be of some help and inspiration to you. I love you, the world and I.