Living a life of insignificance while pondering the meaning of life, at a loss in the face of the current situation.

Hi, I'm June.

From what you've said, it seems like you're saying, "I'm not giving up!"

While I've been trying to figure out what life is all about, I haven't made much progress. I've been living a humble, cowardly life, and I haven't achieved the results I want.

I want to live well, but my spiritual beliefs don't allow me to do so. I struggle, but at the same time I doubt myself and am timid. What's wrong with me?

From what I can see in this description, it seems like your values and beliefs have been challenged a lot.

You say you live a humble and cowardly life, and I can imagine how careful you usually are. You should try your best to avoid conflicts with others in life, and sometimes you would rather sacrifice your own interests to maintain the appearance of peace.

You feel like you've been so tolerant that you can be considered a "good person," but unfortunately, good people don't seem to be rewarded. Your efforts and forbearance haven't earned you respect or understanding from others.

When you try to communicate with others, either your words aren't understood or you can't understand what they're saying. It's like doing a reading comprehension in Chinese.

It seems that I have a natural talent for mathematics and science. Has something blinded my heart? When I was young, I was also a sensitive person. Why is it that now I am left with nothing but anger and suspicion?

From what I've read, you're good at keeping your cool when things get tough in your relationships. You're able to solve problems in a logical way, like you would with math. You don't think you're at fault, but people might feel like you're being cold and heartless.

But you've clearly thought about it a lot and even put yourself in a difficult position. You feel aggrieved and angry about this.

I can think of a short story that might illustrate this:

Once upon a time, there was a sulky snake that was unpopular wherever it went. It had done nothing wrong, but everyone avoided it or threw sticks and stones at it.

The snake realized that his appearance was the reason for his misfortune, so he decided to change it. He put his tail in his mouth, curled himself into a perfect circle, and made his body as stiff as a high-quality wooden product.

Before long, a few kids found the snake and grabbed it, saying, "Wow, what a beautiful green vine ring."

The snake was able to endure this punishment for as long as it could. When the first opportunity to escape arose, it immediately rolled into the bushes, loosened, and returned to its original shape, slipping away safely.

"I've already learned my lesson," it said to itself. "No matter how much bad luck I encounter, there's no point in pretending to be something I'm not. That will only make me feel even more uncomfortable."

As you mentioned at the end of the article, "Is it really related to the original family?" We all have our own character traits because of where we were born, our family environment, and how we were raised. There's no right or wrong, good or bad—it's just gains and losses. Because every personality is imperfect.

You may be used to forbearing and silently giving, and such a personality may find it difficult to achieve worldly success. Without major ups and downs, though, it may be more mundane, but it should be more peaceful. And for ordinary people, peace is happiness.

It's often not you that causes conflict. You might be able to accept the situation, but there are always people around you who make demands on you, forcing you to break through and change yourself.

It's like parents always want their kids to be academic elites, and kids always want their parents to be wealthy. There's no right or wrong in this, because people always have desires when they live.

If you can achieve them, work hard towards the expectations. If you can't, tell yourself you've done your best, but allow others to still have expectations. I believe that this kind of life should be a little more comfortable.

Just a heads-up: This is for reference only. Best wishes!

Hello, I'm Jiang Miaosen. I'm glad you asked this question on the first day of registering with Yi Xinli. It's fate.

I read your words and I agree. I have been unhappy and lonely. I realized it was because you said, "While pondering the meaning of life, although it has no result." I felt worthless.

Do you feel worthless?

You're serious about solving it. You've thought about the meaning of life, worked hard, tried spirituality, and made practical efforts. This has caused you to be skeptical and timid when facing problems and angry, suspicious, and closed off when dealing with others.

Don't take it so seriously.

Treat yourself as a child and forget the past.

You mentioned your family of origin. You also received support from your family when you were a child. But time cannot be turned back. If you realize you are capable of being a child, treat yourself like a child. Admit you are still a child and view problems from a child's perspective.

Children are curious and eager to learn. But they lack experience and are emotionally unstable. We must admit that we are emotionally unstable, that we do not yet have our own core values, and that we are vulnerable.

This is not shameful. Everyone has their own rhythm of growth. We just happen to be children right now, with an exciting journey of growth and exploration ahead. Our previous negative emotions urged us to leave the nest.

How do we start this journey of growth?

Second, be your own parent.

An adult is someone who can live without their parents.

Adults live well by being their own parents.

What was your ideal family like? How would they treat their children?

Use your imagination to apply it to yourself.

Good parents help their children appreciate the good things in life, find the value of life, establish good habits, and cultivate perseverance. This helps their children realize the value of life and face the challenges of adulthood.

The most important things are to appreciate, establish routines, and cultivate resilience.

How do you learn to appreciate?

You say you can't appreciate poetry. We don't need to now.

We are children and parents. How do children appreciate the world?

We learn from our parents and cry for milk. We don't need to talk about emotions with others. Let's start with the simplest.

If you don't do the housework, help your family members who do. Say "good morning" and "I'm home" with kisses and hugs. Don't be afraid of what your family says or thinks. Act with confidence.

It is already impressive to be able to do this at the beginning. We learn to appreciate nature. We are curious to look at the leaves.

That kind of happiness. Even though her grandfather was still looking at his phone, it still moved me after all these years. Appreciate beauty, music, architecture, and more. You can even learn to appreciate subjects and people you hate!

What is a routine?

It's about forming habits. For example, family members may need courage the first time they hug before going out. But on the 100th day, they won't.

We can make these small habits and learn to appreciate life. If we do these things, we will have our own routine.

On this foundation, what is the value of life? We don't even need to think about it. He will come running to us, and I will even tell him not to come, because I'm afraid something bad will happen if I'm too happy and proud!

But there are still storms on the road to growth. We still need to build our tough character.

If we do something difficult, we shouldn't be afraid. For example, if I kiss my wife every day and she looks disgusted, she might hit me. But I'm not afraid. I'm just going to do it!

When we encounter setbacks, we should not give up! For example, if you have a fight with your wife, just ignore it. If you can't accept your wife cheating on you, then be brave and get a divorce.

That's all for now. I've shared my secrets for getting out of a slump. Have a happy journey!

Hello, questioner! I'm Jiang 61, and I'm excited to help you!

Thank you so much for trusting us and being willing to tell us about your confusion in order to get help! We're excited to help you. Your confusion is: "While thinking about the meaning of life, I am living a life of humility and cowardice, at a loss for what to do." Your state of conflict may exist in many people, but we can help you work through it! Let's analyze together what exactly caused this phenomenon.

1. State

1⃣️, doubts

You said, "I don't know what's wrong with me. For so many years, I've hated my life from the bottom of my heart."

You've been saying for years that you hate your life. I'd love to know what aspect of yourself you hate so I can help you!

You mentioned social understanding, difficulty communicating with others, and living a life of compromise.

2⃣️, Meaning of life

You said, "While pondering the meaning of life, I live a humble and cowardly life, and I have not achieved the result I want. But I'm excited to see what the future holds!"

"I want to live well, and I know I can! My spiritual world is full of possibilities, and I'm excited to explore them. I might have doubts and feel timid sometimes, but that's just part of the journey. What's wrong with me?"

It's so great to see that you have plans for your life! You've mentioned a few words that give me a good idea of your character.

Your pleasing personality

You know that you can do better than your current situation! It's obvious that you are not happy in your life and that you are trying to please other people.

This is clearly not the life you want, and that's okay!

Now, let's dive into the spiritual world!

You mentioned wanting to live a good life, and I'm excited to hear more about what that means to you! I'd love to know what spiritual world you're referring to, and what might be holding you back from living the kind of life you want.

Now, let's talk about doubt and timidity.

You want to work hard to create a good life for yourself, and I admire your ambition! However, you are doubtful and timid. What are those? What do they mean to you?

3⃣️, Confusion Let's dive into this together!

You say, "I want to communicate well with people, but I can't feel the emotions and meanings they express, and my mind is in a mess. It's like when I was in school, analyzing the poems in my Chinese textbook, I just couldn't experience the various thoughts and emotions of the author.

I feel like a block of wood, but it seems that I have a natural talent for mathematics, science, and chemistry!

Oh, what could have possibly happened to my heart? When I was young, I was also a sensitive person. Why is it that now I'm left with nothing but anger and suspicion? Could it really be related to my family of origin?

Understanding

You have the incredible ability to understand complex sentences in your language textbooks. You can even feel the thoughts and emotions of the writer!

On the other hand, you have a strong understanding of mathematics, physics, and chemistry!

This is your natural tendency to lean towards the sciences, which is governed by the nerves in your brain. In other words, your logical thinking is well developed, and your language organization and expression, including comprehension, are slightly inferior to the sciences—but that just means there's room for improvement!

Luckily, you're not alone! Many people are in the same situation as you.

Let's dive into the fascinating topic of emotional changes!

You said that when you were young, you were emotionally delicate, but that you changed as you grew up and became more stoic. It's fascinating how you've developed a unique approach to compromise, embracing suspicion and anger. I'm curious to know what shaped your journey from a sensitive child to a more assertive adult.

This change has a lot to do with your family environment and social environment at school, which is really interesting!

4⃣️, closed

You say, "I have never opened my heart to anyone, including my wife and mother. I have few friends because I feel no affection, friendship, or love."

Change

Because of certain events, you have had the opportunity to learn and grow! You have experienced emotional trauma, which has given you the chance to learn how to express your emotions in a healthy way. You have also had the chance to learn how to interact with others in a way that is more authentic to you. You have become more self-reliant and self-sufficient!

:: Closed state

Because there is no normal communication, you have almost no friends. But that means there's plenty of room for new friends! You feel that no words from other people can ever reach your heart. But that just means you have the opportunity to create new, positive words for yourself!

So you can't experience the amazing feeling of family love, the joy of friendship, or the incredible sensation of love!

2. Let's dive into the fascinating causes of this phenomenon!

There are so many reasons for such changes in your life! We'll look at two aspects: internal and external.

1⃣️, Internal perspective Let's start with the internal perspective.

Your personality is so interesting!

From your description, I can tell that you are a people-pleaser and a melancholic—and you're great at both!

? Compliant personality

A pleasing personality is one that focuses on pleasing others without regard for one's own feelings. It is an unhealthy state of mind. The essence of pleasing others is that others are more important than I am. I am only safe and loved if I make others feel comfortable.

This means you pay more attention to what others think of you and what they think, while ignoring your true feelings.

People with a melancholic personality are truly fascinating!

People with a melancholic personality have so many amazing qualities!

Characteristics: thoughtful, highly sensitive, idealistic, and a pursuit of truth and beauty.

You have so many amazing strengths! You're delicate and perceptive, loyal and reliable, talented, and insightful.

On the downside, you can be a bit obsessive, indecisive, self-centered, pessimistic, and passive.

You strive for perfection, are overly sensitive to people, things, and situations in the outside world, are indecisive, not good at socializing, relatively passive in life, and overly pessimistic about your situation. But you're working on it!

Embrace your lack of self-awareness!

Your lack of self-confidence and trust in people are closely related to your lack of self-awareness — and you can change that!

Now, let's dive into the fascinating topic of self-awareness!

Self-awareness is also self-consciousness, a complex and fascinating psychological phenomenon with multiple dimensions and levels. It is composed of the three incredible psychological components of self-knowledge, self-experience, and self-control.

Now, let's dive into the fascinating topic of self-awareness!

In terms of the form of cognition, it is manifested in four amazing forms: self-feeling, self-observation, self-analysis, and self-criticism. Collectively, they are known as "self-awareness."

Now, let's dive into the fascinating world of self-experience!

In terms of emotional forms, it is manifested in a number of fascinating ways, including self-feeling, self-love, self-esteem, self-service, inferiority, a sense of responsibility, a sense of duty, and a sense of superiority. Collectively, these are known as "self-experience."

Now, let's talk about self-control!

In terms of will forms, it is manifested in so many amazing ways! It can be seen in self-reliance, autonomy, self-control, self-improvement, self-defense, self-discipline, and so much more. Collectively, these are referred to as "self-control," and they are truly incredible!

The importance of self-awareness is huge!

Self-awareness is an absolutely essential part of personal development. First, you need to know yourself, be able to distinguish yourself from your surroundings, and then you can recognize objective things in the outside world.

The second thing to know about self-awareness is that it's based on a person's self-awareness and self-control. And it promotes self-education!

Know who you are!

Knowing who I am is the key to understanding my current psychological characteristics and problems, as well as my abilities, specific traits, interests, hobbies, strengths, and weaknesses. I can then play to my strengths, make up for my weaknesses, and improve myself! Your strong understanding of the sciences and poor emotional communication with others is a contrast of strengths and weaknesses in you, and also your characteristic.

If you understand yourself, you'll be amazed at how little your shortcomings matter!

Knowing where I come from is a great way to understand the past state of my psychological development and its value. It's a fantastic way to explore how I should deal with problems in order to gain my own value!

Knowing where you come from is a great way to understand the past state of your psychological development and its value. And it's a wonderful thing to explore how you should deal with problems in order to gain your own value!

And now for the best part: knowing where I'm going!

Once you know who I am and where I come from, and understand your own abilities and values, you'll be able to properly assess what you can do in the future and solve your own future development problems!

When you lack self-awareness, it can lead to a lot of doubts about yourself. But don't worry! You can overcome these doubts and learn how to handle things when they happen. You'll also discover what you're truly capable of.

This is an amazing opportunity for you to grow and develop!

2⃣️, Appearance

? The influence of the original family

? Reason

From the outside looking in, one of the main reasons for your current difficulties in social interactions and your inability to express emotions is the impact of your family environment on you. When you were young, you were a sensitive person, meaning you could perceive other people's emotions and the meaning they were conveying very well. Now, however, you're learning to tune in to your emotions again! You may not know what other people are talking about, but that's okay. Your mind will go blank sometimes, but that's just your mind processing everything you're taking in.

? The impact

Your family life has had a huge impact on you! I suspect that at least one of your parents is very dominant, loves to point out faults, criticizes, and controls your words and actions.

? Controlling personality

Controlling people want others to respect them, listen to their opinions, and not have their own ideas. Otherwise, they will fly into a rage—and it's fascinating to see how they handle it!

People with an accusatory personality

Blame-shifting people are great at pointing out others' mistakes. They're used to taking the lead and aren't afraid to speak their mind. "It's all your fault," and "What's wrong with you?" are their catchphrases, and they're not afraid to use them!

When we look at their inner experiences, we can see that blaming types usually fail alone. But here's the exciting part: they prefer to isolate themselves from others to maintain their authority!

Your personality is again a pleasing personality, and your thoughts and actions are always met with constructive criticism or suggestions on how to improve. You have ideas, and you're ready to share them! You'll suppress your emotions and obey their wishes for now, but you'll start communicating with others again soon. You'll start thinking again, and you'll start to let go of the anger.

The social environment has caused

Your difficulty in socializing. There is also a situation where you encounter some kind of sudden situation when you come into contact with others, which makes you feel terrified and causes you to have a disability. As a result, whenever you communicate with others, you become anxious, unable to think, and have difficulty understanding what others mean. The more anxious you become, the less you can express yourself, so you simply avoid contact with others. But don't worry! There are ways to change this.

3. Change I think you're ready to make a change!

I think you've brought up all these issues because you're ready to make a change! I believe that:

1⃣️, Embrace the current situation!

You may be having a little trouble communicating with others at the moment. This is totally normal! It's influenced by your family of origin, your personality, and also your excessive nervousness and concerns about not expressing yourself clearly. When you accept that you are having difficulty expressing yourself clearly, just tell the other person frankly, "I didn't understand what you meant. Could you repeat it?"

2⃣️ Deliberate practice

Between acquaintances

Embrace your choices and relax! It's totally fine if you have trouble with people. You can always ask for repetition and get clarification from different angles. Plus, you can level up your comprehension skills through learning and understanding.

Between strangers

Be bold and communicate with people easily! The more relaxed you are, the more at ease you will be in communicating. The more open-minded you are, the more topics you will have, and the better your comprehension will be!

You can even try communicating with friends to get their affirmation and convince yourself after the enhancement. Then, get ready to communicate and greet strangers!

For example, chat with the community service staff or hotel doorman about everyday life and topics of interest. It's a great way to get to know your surroundings! Try to understand what they mean, and if you are not sure about something, you can always say more.

The key here is to conquer your nerves and embrace the challenge of connecting with new people. Get ready to dive into the exciting world of communicating with strangers in unfamiliar settings!

3⃣️, Get to know yourself better!

It's time to re-understand yourself!

Once you let go of your past, you'll get to know the amazing present you again! You'll discover who you are, what your incredible abilities are, your interests and hobbies, your strengths and weaknesses, your personality and other fascinating characteristics.

You know what you can do, and you know what you can't do. You know what you can accept, and you know what you can't accept. You know what you can offer, and you know what you can't offer. You try to make the most of your strengths, and you avoid your weaknesses.

It's time to build your self-confidence!

Once you've achieved results in your strong areas, it's going to be amazing! You'll feel more confident than ever, your abilities will be recognized, your sense of worth will be established, and your sense of accomplishment will be enhanced. Your self-confidence will be stronger than ever!

Questioner, I believe you mentioned that accepting the current situation will prevent you from indulging in the past and being nervous about communicating with others, and that you will have a new beginning. Through deliberate practice and re-self-awareness, you will know who I am, where I came from, and where I can go. You will set my own direction, stop worrying, and confidently be yourself.

And finally, I want to encourage the original poster to be confident in being themselves!

Good morning. I extend my best wishes to you in the form of a warm hug from afar.

I am grateful for the opportunity to assist you in addressing your request for help. I hope that my input can provide you with the support and guidance you require. I commend you for recognizing the need for change in your current relationships and for your awareness of the emotional numbness you are experiencing. Awareness is the first step towards positive change.

The prerequisite for change is acceptance. From your description, it is clear that you have historically demonstrated a lack of self-acceptance, which is often a primary factor in determining how individuals treat themselves.

It is also important to understand that in any given situation, your actions are the best you can do, given the circumstances. The reason for the shift from an emotionally rich and sensitive individual to one who is emotionally detached and numb is that you have become aware of this inappropriate emotional state in your relationships. However, you have been unable to make positive changes through your own efforts. This suggests that you may have been better able to meet and satisfy certain needs within yourself through this seemingly inappropriate emotional state.

For instance, the avoidance of painful emotional experiences represents a state of emotional dissociation. This can be viewed as an unconscious form of protection.

It is important to be aware of whether your parents provided adequate emotional support during your formative years. If they were insensitive, you may have felt isolated, ignored, and unloved. You may have tried to express your desire for recognition, affirmation, acceptance, understanding, encouragement, companionship, comfort, and love, but received an inadequate response. This may have led to a suppression of your emotions, which in turn may have caused you to adopt an indifferent attitude. This may also have affected your ability to provide emotional support to others, as you may not have had the same level of emotional support yourself.

It is important to note that expressing disgust, harshness, or dissatisfaction with oneself due to a tendency towards indifference in a relationship is counterproductive. Instead, it is essential to accept and allow this state, as it represents an unconscious form of self-protection.

Once you have a clear understanding of the emotional detachment in your current relationship, you can begin to make adjustments and changes through self-directed learning and growth, guided by self-awareness. As long as you are willing and have the necessary resources and abilities, and you also desire strong emotional support and responses from family and friends, you can make the necessary changes.

It is important to overcome the fear of rejection and other negative emotions. Learn to treat yourself with the same respect and consideration you would extend to others. Accept, affirm, encourage, appreciate, praise, support, and comfort yourself. Focus on your strengths and positive attributes, rather than deficiencies and inadequacies. Your self-perception and self-care in a relationship influence how others respond to you. You are the best judge of your needs and the best advocate for your own well-being.

One way to improve self-acceptance is to create a list of your strengths. Another is to maintain a gratitude journal, which can foster self-confidence and enhance your sense of self-worth. Additionally, engaging in personal interests and passions during your free time can help you feel more nourished.

One useful tool for managing emotions is an emotional diary, which allows you to record your emotions in a timely manner. This can help you improve your relationship with your inner self.

I suggest you read the following books: Feeling Love, Overcoming the Mountain in Your Heart, and Living the Meaning of Life.

I hope that your life is illuminated by love.

Hello, question asker. My name is Evan.

From the questioner's description, it seems that the questioner may be reluctant to open up to others, and may have difficulty perceiving the feelings and meaning expressed by others. This could potentially contribute to the questioner's poor interpersonal relationships and inability to express his emotions. Could this be a fair assessment?

From the questioner's description, it seems that the questioner may be experiencing some difficulty expressing their true inner thoughts, and may be more likely to express their emotions of anger and suspicion. In my opinion, the situation the questioner is currently in may be related to the questioner's parents' original family education and personality.

It's possible that the OP's parents may have instilled certain concepts in him or her since childhood and have had strict requirements for the OP, perhaps even to the point of not allowing the OP to show his or her emotions or express his or her thoughts. This could have caused the OP to be afraid to express himself or herself in interpersonal relationships, out of fear of being hurt. Of course, in addition to the reasons of the original family, the OP's personality also played a role.

It would be beneficial to consider the education that the parents provided, the internal behavior patterns of the OP, and the potential impact of interpersonal relationships, communication, and expression on the situation.

It is my view that the reason the OP's parents treat the OP in this way may be due to the influence of their original family. When a child grows up, they are influenced by their original family, and in addition to physical inheritance, there is also a lot of character inheritance.

It is possible that these behaviors may seem normal to parents, but in fact they often cause depression and harm to children. I hope that by sharing this, I can offer you a little strength and hope that you can understand your parents' behavior towards you.

Since the question was asked on a platform, I would also like to offer the author some brief advice.

It might be helpful to consider the influence of the original family.

Could you please elaborate on how the original family has influenced you? What are some of the challenges you face when interacting with others?

It would be helpful to understand what ideas have influenced the questioner and given them a relatively fixed idea. It seems that they always protect themselves when facing things. These ideas may be influenced by the original family. It might be beneficial for the questioner to try to list in detail on paper some of the ideas that their own concepts have brought to them when getting along with others.

Then the questioner can consider whether these views are accurate, who introduced them to the questioner, or whether they are simply the questioner's own subjective feelings. It may be helpful to compare these views with the way friends around you interact with others, to gain a broader understanding of their universal or limited applicability.

If it is just your own opinion, and not the case for everyone, then the questioner can understand that these are the influences brought on by their own family of origin. It is worth noting that in interpersonal relationships, if we cannot open our hearts and are afraid to express ourselves, it can make it more challenging to gain a stable relationship.

Could the questioner perhaps consider that when they understand the inner patterns of behavior, which are actually influenced by the original family since childhood, they may then be able to perceive the unreasonable aspects of their own actions?

It would be helpful to try to understand the parents' motives in treating the questioner.

It would be beneficial to understand why the parents of the questioner treat the questioner this way and how to communicate with children. It is possible that the model was brought into their own family by the parents when they were taught by their parents' original family. This model may be imprinted in their hearts, and they may also bring this model into the family they form.

It's possible that, in their minds, treating their children this way is normal because that is how they were treated. However, times have changed, and treating the new generation in the same way may lead to some challenges.

It may be helpful to consider your parents' motives. By understanding why your parents did what they did, you may find it easier to release your emotions, treat them more calmly, and be more composed.

So the questioner understands the origin of the parents' behavior patterns. Could the questioner consider that parents may only be able to continue the patterns they were taught by their original family when it comes to treating their own children? It's possible that, due to the times, parents may not know how to raise and educate their children in the best way. It might be that they are treating their children in a way that is similar to how they were treated by their own parents, without intending to.

Perhaps it would be helpful to try to move on from the past.

Perhaps what the questioner needs is a fresh start. I remember someone saying, "You are in the past, but you don't live in the past."

Many of us have experienced misfortune in one way or another. It is important to live in the present.

Buddhist teaching offers the insight that the past cannot be obtained, nor can the future be obtained. It is helpful to remember that dwelling on the past or worrying about interpersonal relationships is unproductive. It is important to acknowledge your feelings, but to also try to let them go.

It is possible that the harm caused by your parents may not be a lack of love, but rather a repetition of the behaviour patterns they have learned from their own families. It is important to remember that you are worthy of forgiveness. It is also possible that your parents had good intentions in the past, but were constrained by the rules they had learned from their elders. It can be beneficial to examine your own feelings and why you may be afraid to express yourself, and to consider the influence of your parents on you.

It would be beneficial to learn to release your emotions.

It may be helpful for the questioner to consider the impact of the original family on oneself and the potential harm that interpersonal relationships have brought to the questioner. It is possible that the questioner may wish to explore ways of releasing these emotions in a constructive manner. One approach could be to engage in some form of physical activity or a hobby that allows the questioner to express and release their negative emotions in a healthy way. After expressing these emotions through these activities, the questioner may find that their mood gradually returns to a more calm state.

To avoid repeating the patterns of their parents, it would be helpful for the questioner to learn to deal with and express their negative emotions. This will help to reduce the negative impact that their parents' behaviour has had on them. If you are facing something and have emotions, you can also express your thoughts in a way that is appropriate to the situation. For example, when dealing with interpersonal relationships, the questioner can say, "I would like to share my thoughts, but I have been hurt a lot in the past, so I would like to wait until I feel ready."

If I might make a suggestion, I believe the golden rule for making friends is…

It is often the case that the way we interact with others is influenced by our parents. Similarly, how we interact with our parents often reflects the way we interact with others. Even the intimacy of the parents can act as a template, allowing us to deal with intimacy when we interact with others in the future. This often reflects the influence of our parents. All of this requires the questioner to detect the patterns influenced by the original family themselves.

When making friends with others, it would be wise to abide by two principles. The first is the "golden rule of making friends," which suggests that when interacting with others, we should treat them with the same kindness and respect we would like to receive. The second is the "anti-golden rule of making friends," which encourages us to be kind and courteous to others, while also recognizing that we cannot necessarily expect the same in return.

It's important to remember that everyone has different thoughts and opinions. What you like might not be liked by others, and that's okay. It's not easy to socialize with friends if you're trying to make everyone like the same things. One way to make friends is to be open about your past.

You might find it helpful to seek professional psychological support.

If you are experiencing difficulty in accepting the influence of your family of origin and are unsure of how to navigate interpersonal relationships, you may wish to consider seeking professional psychological support. I would gently suggest that you could look into the possibility of finding a suitable psychological counselor or listener on a psychological platform, with whom you could share your concerns. I believe that such a professional would be able to offer guidance on how to communicate more effectively with others.

I hope my answer is helpful to the questioner.

Hello, my dear friend! I give you a 360-degree hug!

I clicked on it because of the title. I was thinking about the meaning of life while living a simple, ordinary life. In fact, this is the norm for many people's lives. There's the dream of poetry and distance on one side, and a life of everyday matters on the other.

This is also why Liu Yifei's new drama "Go Where the Wind Takes You" has been so popular recently. Xu Hongdou did what many of us want to do: quit her job and go traveling. But both Xu Hongdou and the local children knew that this wasn't the end of Xu Hongdou's life. She would eventually have to leave that paradise-like place and return to the hustle and bustle of life.

And, of course, in the end, she stayed in the area, opened a bed and breakfast, and had a successful love life and career. This is just a TV drama, though.

It's totally normal to feel confused and searching for meaning while trying to live our lives. We all need to make sense of our own inner world.

I believe that self-coherence is all about having your own set of logic that you can use to make sense of your perceptions, emotions, and behaviors. When you have this, you can live your life in a way that feels comfortable to you, even if others don't always understand it.

It can be tough to find meaning in life. But there are ways to make it meaningful! You can live for the moment, enjoy each day, and even live for others. Of course, this can feel a bit paradoxical. But when you feel like life is meaningless, but you still have something to live for, your life can actually become meaningful!

Simply put, the meaning of life is something you give to it yourself.

So, how can we adjust our mentality when we're facing this situation?

First, it's all about acceptance. Acceptance of the current situation, acceptance that you can't find meaning, acceptance that you may be humble and cowardly, and that you are ordinary. In other words, don't ask so many questions, just tell yourself that this is you, and that there may be too many shortcomings and weaknesses.

For example, you may be really gifted in mathematics, science, and chemistry, but you just can't understand Chinese. Everyone has their weaknesses, and that's totally okay! There is no perfect life, only a perfect state of mind.

Once you've accepted something, it's best not to fight against it, feel unfair, or ask why. This is especially true for things you can't change or influence. When you accept things, you're doing yourself a big favor!

For example, a bad family of origin. This could be anything from a subjective feeling to a family member who is not good at talking, and so on.

Second, accept, especially some bad experiences, things that cannot be changed. I know it can be tough, but try to put them out of your mind as much as you can. It's okay to pretend they don't exist! The human memory can play tricks on us, but try to let it go.

It's totally normal for memories to come up in certain situations.

It's time to let go of those bad memories and start fresh!

And finally, do something for yourself in the present, and for your future!

Hey there! I know it can be tough, but try to lighten your load, let go of the past, and see what you can do now. You've got this!

If you feel it's related to your family of origin, you can always talk to a counselor. They're there to help!

You might also find it helpful to talk to someone else, like your wife.

If you feel like you could do with some help with communication, you can always read some books on the topic.

You can start with small things, and before you know it, you'll have built a strong connection with the world and others. It's as simple as telling your wife you love her, or making breakfast, bringing flowers, cooking together, and so on.

Start with small actions, pay attention to others, and express your gratitude and love. You've got this!

I really think you should talk to a counselor. Have a chat about your confusion and the actions you can take.

I'm a counselor who is often Buddhist and sometimes depressed, occasionally proactive, and I just want to say that the world and I love you!

Greetings, inquirer.

From your description, I discern a pervasive sense of helplessness, confusion, and anger. I commend you, however, for your keen awareness and willingness to express your innermost thoughts and feelings. It is commendable that you confront challenges as they arise and strive to find solutions.

I encourage you to become aware of the circumstances that led to this emotional state. At what point did you first experience feelings of resignation, grievance, and anger?

Please describe the circumstances surrounding the event in question and the subsequent course of action taken.

At what points in time did you not experience these feelings? What circumstances were present at the time?

From your description, it is evident that you are constantly aware of yourself. Being aware is also the initial stage of change.

You have described your experience as a search for meaning, accompanied by a sense of confusion, a striving for excellence, and a desire to connect with others and blend in. However, you have also expressed a sense of not fully aligning with the social norm and a lack of confidence in your ability to integrate seamlessly. Is this an accurate representation of your experience?

Indeed, the majority of individuals face similar challenges. I, too, have experienced these difficulties. I have encountered self-doubt and a reluctance to accept the status quo, while simultaneously lacking the knowledge to work diligently. This phenomenon is prevalent among many individuals.

The distinction between us and them is that we are perpetually aware and perpetually exploring. This is our most significant resource. One can discern one's own strengths. One is endowed with a singular endowment in mathematics, which is a considerable asset. One's motivation is intrinsic.

You indicate a desire for effective communication with others, yet you perceive a lack of affection, love, or friendship. You have also observed a potential correlation with your family of origin. This is a plausible hypothesis. Our personality is influenced by our upbringing in our family of origin, as well as our life experiences and genetics. This is an area where further introspection may be beneficial.

As a child, you exhibited a high level of emotionality. However, you currently display anger and suspicion. This may have been caused by a specific need not being met during your growth process or life experiences.

Indeed, all relationships are ultimately between the individual and themselves. When an individual is confused, it can lead to self-doubt and a tendency to close off emotionally, which can subsequently hinder communication with others.

In the event of a miracle, what would be the status of one's life? What actions have been taken to facilitate such an outcome?

It would be beneficial to ascertain whether there would be any notable differences in the situation following the occurrence of the miracle. Additionally, it would be insightful to determine who might be able to discern these changes.

It is not possible to comment on the specifics of your situation based on the information provided. However, the following suggestions are offered in the hope that they will assist you in identifying a way forward.

First, one must adjust one's mindset.

Life is not always straightforward, and perfection is unattainable. We will eventually encounter confusion of one kind or another, and maintaining a positive outlook is essential for navigating it. When we have a positive attitude, we are less likely to doubt ourselves or expend internal energy, and instead can more effectively manage our relationships with ourselves and others. This can foster a sense of inner peace and enhance motivation for change.

Secondly, it is recommended that one employs positive mental suggestions.

Life is bipolar, with a positive and a negative aspect. However, when an individual is immersed in negative emotions and unable to extricate themselves, they may ascribe themselves labels and succumb to negative hypnosis. If this persists over time, it may result in an inability to extricate oneself and move forward. In such instances, it may be beneficial to employ positive mental suggestions in lieu of negative ones.

For example, when an individual is experiencing feelings of withdrawal and self-doubt, it is beneficial to provide oneself with positive encouragement on a regular basis. This can be done by repeating statements such as, "I am good," "I have a talent for mathematics," "I can also detect my own problems in time," "Keep looking for a breakthrough," "If I am willing, I will definitely get better and better," and "I am already great." These positive statements can enhance an individual's sense of strength and self-assurance.

Subsequently, it is imperative to cultivate an ability to accept oneself.

Everyone is unique and has unlimited potential. At times, individuals may become preoccupied with external factors and fail to recognize their intrinsic strengths. However, it is imperative to cultivate self-acceptance. Only when we learn to accept and love ourselves can we achieve inner peace and the courage to confront challenges. If we fail to accept ourselves and choose to be happy, we risk becoming immersed in negative emotions, which may impede our ability to change. Therefore, it is crucial to embrace your current situation and this uncomfortable feeling, live in peace with it, and reconcile with yourself. Only in this way will your heart become much lighter, you will be able to get along with yourself in harmony, interact with others more effectively, and be able to enjoy a happy life!

It is also important to continue to develop and enhance one's abilities.

From your description, it is evident that you possess a distinctive talent. Therefore, it is prudent to focus on this talent, immerse ourselves in it, and work assiduously to hone it. By attaining a sense of accomplishment from it, bolstering our self-confidence, and then persisting in this endeavor, we can foster a sense of assurance and resilience. By engaging in less reflection and more action, and by striving for continuous improvement, we can cultivate a growing sense of confidence and strength. This will enable us to confront challenges with courage and resolve.

Furthermore, it is essential to learn to release negative emotions.

In life, confusion is an inevitable occurrence, often related to one's family of origin. Regardless of the underlying cause, it is essential to release these negative emotions. By sincerely seeking answers, one can find the motivation to move forward with courage and lightness.

It is recommended that individuals engage in more physical activity as a means of relaxation, as exercise has been shown to release dopamine into the brain, which in turn alleviates feelings of anxiety. This can be an effective method for combating self-doubt.

Ultimately, it is essential to cultivate self-belief.

Indeed, when one experiences negative emotions and self-doubt, it is indicative of a lack of confidence. These emotions arise due to an inherent lack of belief in one's abilities. However, if one desires change, it is essential to choose to believe in oneself. This belief provides the motivation to persevere and overcome challenges.

It is also important to consider how others can provide assistance. It is therefore advisable to learn to believe in oneself and trust in the power of accumulation.

Ultimately, if the opportunity is available and the individual is amenable, professional counseling may be sought. A counselor will employ professional techniques to investigate the underlying causes within the subconscious and establish a secure setting where awareness, growth, and empowerment can be fostered.

It is also possible to participate in the learning process. Furthermore, studying psychology can facilitate personal growth and healing.

It is important to note that perseverance is key in this process. As long as one maintains a willingness to push past obstacles and continue the search for solutions, the eventual discovery of one's own breakthroughs and unexpected insights is inevitable.

Should you require assistance when you are not feeling well, I and my colleagues on this platform will always be available to provide support and guidance. We are committed to being a source of strength and encouragement as you embark on your journey of growth and development.

Hello.

In the days of traditional happy reunions, asking such questions is all it takes to understand your inner pain and your strong, unheard cry for survival. You who cannot feel intimacy feel as if you have been abandoned by the world on an island, unable to see the distant land or passing ships. Even the people closest to you, your wife and mother, are unable to throw you a life preserver because they cannot see or hear at all.

The screen gives you a warm hug. You did nothing wrong. This is not an incurable disease.

Mirror neurons are

The recommended book for the subject is "The Ladder of the Sky" by the child psychiatrist Winnicott. As you have already sensed, your ability to learn mathematics and science far exceeds your ability to learn languages and art. Your lack of ability to connect with people is related to a group of nerve cells in your brain called mirror neurons. These neurons reflect the actions of others, allowing people to imitate more complex actions from simple ones. This gradually develops the ability to speak, play music, create art, use tools, and more. A person with well-developed mirror neurons will have stronger language skills and stronger empathy. Conversely, when a person experiences significant psychological trauma and chronic stress in childhood, it causes trauma to the brain.

There is no doubt that the fact that mirror neurons are not properly developed can indeed lead to numerous problems.

This book mentions a neurosequential model of therapy (NMT). The NMT clinical approach consists of four key components:

The developmental history should include information about the timing, nature, and severity of trauma, adversity, and neglect experienced by the patient, as well as relational experiences related to resilience and "degree of connectedness."

The assessment of the patient's current functioning focuses on the individual's strengths and weaknesses in multiple areas, such as sensory integration and regulation (the ability to manage stress, sensations, and emotions without becoming overwhelmed or withdrawn).

b. The individual's actual connections to family, friends, community, and culture, which we refer to as the patient's therapeutic network.

Treatment planning: Select and arrange education and treatment-related content that is specifically tailored to the individual based on their developmental needs in order to become fulfilled.

Implementation: Monitor and evaluate the implementation and effectiveness of the plan, and make any necessary adjustments.

You are not alone. Psychologists have developed effective techniques to search for and rescue people in difficult situations. Just as you found this platform to ask questions, I am here to provide guidance. There are many professionally trained counselors on this platform, and thousands of people have already received help here and made changes. I encourage you to enter the counseling room as soon as possible and establish a stable relationship with a matching counselor. I believe you can change quickly. The traumas and remaining wounds from your childhood will be seen, addressed, and heal.

I am Zhang Huili, the Sunshine Dolphin. I am here to help you. My words will connect with you.

Hello! I hope this helps, but I'll guess based on your description.

"I hate my life. I ponder the meaning of life, but I don't know what it means. I live a humble, cowardly life and have not achieved what I want.

"I want to live a good life, but I struggle with doubt and timidity."

1. These thoughts are all very conflicting. I long for light, but I am also in darkness. Everyone's heart is complex. You don't need to blame yourself or doubt yourself.

Otherwise, you'll fall into an abyss and be unable to climb out. Accept your imperfections. Accept that the world is black and white, good and evil, and beautiful and ugly.

Life isn't always reasonable, but it shows you other ways of thinking. Without contrast, light is just light.

2. Being alive is happy because if you die, you lose everything. You only get one chance to live.

"When I was young, I was sensitive. Now I'm angry and suspicious. Could it be my family? I've never opened up to anyone, including my wife and mother.

I have few friends because I don't feel loved.

.

"

3. Your family will affect you, but they can't control your life. You'll enjoy your life more when you're on your own.

It's okay to dislike socializing and not have friends. But loved ones are a lifetime companion, and this is also a person's spiritual sustenance. Otherwise, you will feel lonely and isolated.

4. You try to be good to others because you want them to be good to you. Just as you try to trust others, you will find that many people trust you.

Insight into the soul, let sharing become a habit! I'm talking to myself, and I'm here for you, too!

While thinking about the meaning of life, I felt like I was living a life of weakness and cowardice, confused and at a loss. If you read between the lines, you'll see that whether it's about yourself or others, nobody ever feels like this is a good status quo.

Looking back on my past, I don't think this is a bad situation at all! It's actually a true portrayal of life moving towards another maturity.

Not every dream comes true is perfect, but that's okay! Being able to live a healthy and peaceful life is already a great blessing.

If I had been asked this question five years ago, I probably wouldn't have had a very profound understanding. But now, having personally experienced the coronavirus pandemic, I feel like I can truly understand the meaning of this question. It's like this: it's hard to truly appreciate the beauty of the ordinary moments in life until you've experienced something life-changing.

When you're going through this, it can feel like everything that used to matter is suddenly insignificant. All of those ideals that were once buried deep in your heart, or the kind of person you want to become in this life, they all seem trivial. It's totally normal to feel this way. At this point, you're probably wondering: what is the meaning of life?

I think the meaning of life is to live in the present, to have a family, to have people you love and who love you, and for them to be healthy and safe. It's really not that complicated! The key is to see things from your own perspective. If you can deal with things with a calm heart, then life is full of meaning everywhere.

It's so much more than just being successful!

Have you ever asked yourself what kind of life is considered a successful life? I have asked myself this question many times.

But, sadly, I still haven't figured out what kind of life can really be considered a successful life. The questioner said that he is living a life of humility and cowardice, and it seems like he's just expressing his dissatisfaction with his life over the years.

Humility and cowardice. These two words can be so destructive, can't they? They can instantly make a person feel helpless and hopeless in this world. But if you look around, how many people are not living a life of humility and cowardice?

Maybe, in the same situation, people live their lives differently because they have different mindsets. If you think you are living a humble and cowardly life, I think the world around you will naturally seem bleak and uninspiring. Sometimes a person's state of mind is really important, and life is so interesting! It makes people live the way they imagine.

If you think you are living a humble and cowardly life, then that is how you will live. But if you feel that even the most ordinary days are full of sunshine and joy, happiness and peace, then you are absolutely right! Life will make you live a life full of sunshine, joy, happiness, and peace.

Anger often comes from self-denial, while suspicion can sometimes come from distrusting oneself.

Why are you angry? It's because you always compare yourself with others, and after comparing yourself with others, you always feel that you are inferior to others. It's so easy to get caught up in this way of thinking! It can really take a toll on your happiness.

When we're living in the world, being a good person is the most important thing. It's okay not to care about other people's goodness or lack thereof. There are so many things in life to care about, so why fixate on things that have nothing to do with you and cause yourself trouble? When you start to be suspicious, it's also the beginning of doubting and denying yourself. It's okay to feel this way. What can you do?

What kind of person are you? You know better than anyone else. You are you, a wonderful person who should always believe in yourself. If you start to doubt yourself, who else will believe in you?

And with that, I'll leave you with a few final words of wisdom:

As we grow older, some thoughts that seem like a negative emotional reaction on the surface are actually a sign of maturity. Think about it, when we were younger, why didn't we have these thoughts?

It's because we haven't had the chance to experience those things and feel those emotions yet. When we do get to experience things and meet people, we all become more mature and our perspective on things changes. It can sometimes feel like we're in the dark, but it's the beginning of a clearer path out of the fog.

Your loved ones—those who love you and those you love—will always be your rock. No matter what kind of thing you encounter, you should hope that they can treat you as their closest person and listen to what you have to say. This is not only a kind of trust you have in them, but also an expression of your love for them.

Hello, I am Bai Mayuzhu, a psychological counselor, and I am honored to answer your questions here. From your description, I can see that you are in a very confused state about who you are right now. You want to know how to live a good life, but it seems that you are troubled by some very practical problems. For example, you want to get close to some relationships, but because you feel that you cannot understand some people and emotions around you, you are unable to continue normally. You have described that you were actually a very emotionally delicate person when you were a child. Tell me more or think about it. In what ways do you think your emotional delicacy as a child is reflected?

Tell me, are there any conflicts or things you can't do in these areas in your current state? If there have been major and conflicting changes, I want to know what happened during this period of growth that has caused such a huge change in you.

I'll see you again. You said that you rarely open up to people now, including the people closest to you. What is stopping you? In fact, many adults, when they reach a certain age, really don't talk about everything and express everything like they did when they were young. There are indeed many parts of the adult world that have become accustomed to bearing things on their own for various reasons, to avoid putting pressure on those around them. I think you may have some of these thoughts.

It is crucial to understand that harboring negative emotions is detrimental to one's mental health. Regardless of age, everyone deserves the opportunity to express themselves, open up, and release stress. If you are unable to find a way to return to a comfortable state, your loved ones will undoubtedly be concerned and confused.

Given the limited information available, I'll make an educated guess: Is there something in your heart that you're afraid of? It's commendable that you've come here to talk about it and that you want to find an answer. It's clear you want to express yourself, so I'll ask you this: What are we really afraid of? What do these fears bring us?

If we don't care about him, we need to ask ourselves what we can gain for ourselves.

We must break through ourselves and find the answers we want in ourselves. If we trust everything around us, ourselves, and all the various confusions about relationships, they will be resolved. What do you think?

If there's anything else you want to talk about, come see me. I'll always be here for you. You'll resolve your confusion and welcome a new life soon.

.

Hello, questioner! I can see the confusion you are facing now, and I'm here to help!

You said that when you were a child, you were also a very sensitive person!

And for some reason, you've only been left with anger and suspicion.

I think it might be related to your own family of origin!

Now you have the amazing opportunity to open your heart to your wife and mother!

I'd love to know what you're really afraid of!

I think there's a good chance that you may have had this experience when you were a child.

You wanted to express your emotions, but the adults stopped you. But now you can!

And from that moment on, you began to block your true emotions.

It's an amazing instinctive self-defense mechanism!

If this is the case, I would highly recommend that you seek professional psychological counseling.

A counselor can help you rebuild a correct outlook on life and values—and it's a great way to start!

Because when I was a child, I had this kind of bad experience.

Luckily, when I was in primary school, my mom helped me out by telling me that it was totally okay to have emotions, even if they were negative!

And that's why I have a more correct value system!

Absolutely! You can also read some psychology books on your own if you really want to change yourself.

If you're looking for some great reads about the original family, I highly recommend checking out Embrace the Inner Child and Don't Be Upset!

If your financial situation allows, I wholeheartedly recommend that you seek professional psychological counseling!

And the great news is that you can also read psychology books on your own and seek help from professional counselors. The results will be more obvious!

I'm really hopeful that the person who asked the question will find an amazing solution to the problem they're facing soon!

Now I can think of only these things, and I'm so excited to share them with you!

I really hope my answers have been helpful and inspiring to you! I am the answer, and I study hard every day!

Here at Yixinli, the world and I love you! Best wishes!

Hello!

I understand. I'll address the main issue directly.

You may have heard of the term "extreme." I feel it describes your state of mind.

You said you were sensitive when you were young. Now you're suspicious. Even your wife and mother are suspect.

This is because you use your sensitive emotions too much.

You think too much and pay too much attention, so your mental energy decreases. It needs to be replenished.

You may say you don't think too much, but you're wrong.

Thinking is also a habit. Your original feelings shape your habits. When you use mental energy, you don't analyze the process. You calculate the result's feasibility and disadvantages. Original thinking is already running at full capacity. You add fuel to the fire.

This quote may seem ridiculous: "Don't think about the result, focus on the process." It's simple but difficult.

To change habits, you need perseverance, patience, and time. You also need to share and recognize intangible habits.

The question is well-formulated.

My name is Kelly Shui.

While contemplating the meaning of life, one may find themselves living a humble and somewhat reserved lifestyle, uncertain of how to proceed in the present situation.

It may be the case that suffering and dissatisfaction are the catalyst for growth, and that those who are ignorant and insensitive are unable to experience these.

Let us discuss the meaning of life.

"Why do people live? What is the meaning of life?"

What is the purpose of my existence?

This is arguably the most fundamental question that people have been grappling with throughout history, yet it continues to elude a definitive answer.

In essence, all human activities, whether cultural or otherwise, can be seen as a means of exploring the meaning of life.

What is the purpose of pursuing the meaning of life?

When discussing the meaning of life, we are referring to a subjective experience, also known as the "sense of meaning in life," within the field of psychology.

The earliest research on the meaning of life can be traced back to the "Meaning Therapy Theory," which was founded by Austrian psychologist Viktor Frankl in the 1960s. This theory regards people's conscious exploration of the meaning of life as a basic feature of mental health. It also posits that individuals lacking a sense of meaning will fall into "existential emptiness."

I also suggest you read his book.

"Living a Meaningful Life"

First and foremost, human beings have the capacity for free will.

In the most extreme of circumstances, even in a concentration camp where he lost everything, he still had the freedom to face the situation and choose his own attitude and path.

Let's turn our attention to you.

Allowing ourselves to hate ourselves provides the impetus for change. What are the factors in your life that you dislike about yourself?

1. We can attempt to document the factors that contribute to our self-loathing, including the circumstances, the process, and our emotional state.

I will provide an example. A colleague of mine is musically inclined and highly compliant. He selected a career in finance, but after many years in the field, he still does not feel fulfilled. He has expressed discontent with his parents to me.

I informed him that we actually have a strong affinity for music and can learn and play the piano during our work hours and after work, similar to Frank's approach. Despite the constraints he faced in prison, he maintained a sense of mental freedom.

My friend is not a bad person. He has loving parents and possesses financial expertise derived from his own hobbies. He subsequently pursued further education and became a financial director.

I made an offhand remark to him that he hadn't lost his musical abilities, but that he'd developed a survival skill based on his hobby.

Subsequently, he allocated his leisure time to piano practice, and his family commented,

He frequently hosts musical performances at home. This year, he became a father, and his colleagues observed that he has learned an important lesson throughout his life: he will respect his child's decisions in the future.

It is not uncommon for individuals to reverse the choice they have made. For instance, an individual may develop a passion for music but subsequently develop a dislike for their parents due to the necessity of choosing a career in finance.

Conversely, if he recognizes that music can be a lifelong companion, finance is what enables him to sustain himself.

Your own decisions will provide you with a sense of purpose and direction. The notion that you are constrained by your parents and lack autonomy is ultimately futile.

As we gain experience and maturity, our perceptions evolve, and our thinking and ideas become more refined.

2: You have stated that you are living a life of humility and cowardice, and that you have not achieved the desired results.

Is it demeaning not to achieve the desired result? It is evident that you are exceedingly demanding of yourself and that you do not permit yourself to "have no result."

Bai Yansong also made a similar observation in his book, Bai Shuo: Life is 80% to 90% dissatisfaction.

Some individuals posit that the process is meaningful. We permit ourselves to accept that we are ordinary and understand that there is no universally applicable meaning in this world.

Perhaps it would be beneficial to consider the following: you expended a great deal of effort, and what did you gain from the process?

Please indicate whether you believe the most meaningful outcome is the result or your own feelings, or whether it is your learning ability.

Could you please clarify what you mean by "thinking style"?

3. You are evaluating your own deficiencies in comparison to the strengths of others.

To illustrate, during my tenure at the educational institution, I found it challenging to grasp the nuances of the poems in the Chinese textbook, particularly the author's thoughts and emotions.

I believe I have a limited capacity for critical thinking.

Indeed, there are numerous individuals who exhibit similar characteristics, particularly those pursuing scientific studies.

You appear to have a natural aptitude for mathematics, science, and physics.

(Then I'll have to acknowledge that I lack the requisite skills. I really used to think that way, too. I was particularly ineffective in math and science.)

It is often said that everyone is born with a talent.

Notable psychologist Carl Jung was also not proficient in mathematics, yet he went on to become a renowned figure in his field.

4. Would you be willing to consult with a counselor?

Please identify the factors that have hindered your progress. We will then review your childhood together.

As a child, you exhibited sensitivity, a quality that remains evident in your adult self. You are akin to a window that retains its brilliance despite the removal of impurities.

It is important to remove the accumulated residue from time to time.

To be aware of yourself, to feel yourself, to allow yourself, to accept yourself, and perhaps to facilitate your own growth with the assistance of a counselor is a viable option.

A sensitive and delicate person may be experiencing distress due to the repression of their emotions. It is possible that, with the appropriate support, these emotions can be gradually released.

5: Please explain why there is only anger and suspicion left now.

Is there a connection to the original family?

I can state with confidence that it is likely to be a relationship of some kind.

Although you are unaware of the specifics, each of us is connected to our past and our family of origin plays an integral role in our upbringing. By learning and growing ourselves, we may gain insight into the issues we currently face.

Gaining insight into one's past can facilitate a deeper understanding of the present self.

I would like to suggest the book Mr. Toad Goes to the Psychiatrist as a valuable resource.

When you begin to accept yourself, you will find that others will accept you in return.

We will discuss the concept of meaning in more detail. At the time of birth, the Creator does not predetermine the meaning of life for each individual. The notion of the meaning of life necessitates that each person engage in the process of exploring and pursuing their own unique interpretation.

Once you begin the exploration process, you will discover meaning.

For example, consider the concepts of altruism, responsibility, practice, accountability, happiness, self-fulfillment, and so on.

I would also like to extend my best wishes for your courage. As human beings, we all have limitations. Frequently, the main challenge in exploring the meaning of life is to overcome the boundaries of the self, which can be defined as limitations.

Dear Questioner, I hope you have a Happy New Year. I hope my answer can be of some assistance to you.

The questioner indicated that they are currently living a humble and cowardly life and have not yet achieved the desired results. What results are you seeking? You desire to live a good life, but your spiritual beliefs prevent you from doing so. Why do your spiritual beliefs prevent you from doing so?

In other words, you are dissatisfied with your current situation. I can sense that you are experiencing confusion and frustration.

At what point did this begin? Was there a specific incident or event that triggered this change in behavior? Or, is it the result of a particular experience that has led to a reluctance to open up to others?

These are matters that the original poster needs to investigate further.

I would like to offer you the following advice:

It is important to recognize the discrepancy between the ideal self and the real self. Adjusting expectations, setting reasonable goals and plans, and accumulating energy to become that ideal self are essential steps in the process.

When there is a significant discrepancy between our ideal self and our objective self, it is natural to experience dissatisfaction. In such instances, it is essential to take two key actions. First, it is vital to assess our current objective state, adjust our expectations, and align our ideal requirements with reality. Second, it is crucial to identify the gap between our current self and our ideal self and establish phased goals and a structured plan to bridge this gap.

Then, we must take action in accordance with these goals, gradually working towards the ideal self. We believe that, with time, we will become the ideal self we expect to be.

2. Accept your current situation and acknowledge the shortcomings and imperfections that you may possess. It is not necessary to strive for perfection; it is possible to lead a fulfilling life with these imperfections.

You have indicated that you dislike your current situation. Could you please elaborate on the specific aspects of your life that you find unsatisfactory? Is it possible to modify these aspects, and to what extent is that possible at this time?

If the aspects of yourself that you dislike are unchangeable, then there is no advantage in continually allowing yourself to become enmeshed in the emotional vortex of hatred. However, if the aspects of yourself that you dislike are changeable, then it is more beneficial to utilize the time and energy you would have otherwise expended on hatred to facilitate change. You may have already implemented some changes, correct?

I previously faced a similar challenge. When confronted with a challenging situation, I would often resort to self-blame, criticism, and self-loathing. I later recognized that this approach was ineffective. However, when I adopted an accepting mindset, I was able to view the situation with greater objectivity and recognize that I possess shortcomings and limitations. I came to accept my own fragility and powerlessness. This shift in perspective provided me with clarity and gradually strengthened my resolve to make changes. I previously resented myself for not having a job. Now, after embracing my current circumstances, I have identified opportunities for employment that align with my skills and interests. I am increasingly satisfied with myself, and my friends and family have also expressed appreciation for my growth.

It is important to accept yourself, regardless of the circumstances you find yourself in. Having the ability to acknowledge and accept your own shortcomings and imperfections is a key factor in being able to effect change. You can say, "Although I have not yet found the meaning of life, I still accept myself."

You may also wish to consider the following: "Although I'm not satisfied with my current situation, I still accept and love myself."

3. Identify the underlying motives behind your suspicion and anger. Investigate the reasons behind your reluctance to open up. Attempt to express your genuine thoughts and feelings in a secure setting. Allow your emotions to flow freely.

What is the root cause of these negative emotions? What are they expressing? If these emotions could communicate, what would they say?

It is important to note that every emotion is driven by an underlying unmet need. These needs serve as the key to achieving a state of emotional stability. Only when these needs are identified and addressed can we begin to experience a return to emotional equilibrium.

You indicated that you are also a sensitive individual. However, you expressed concern about opening up. Is this a form of self-preservation? Have you experienced hurt or questioning from others when you have opened up? It is important to note that we all desire the ability to open up in a safe environment.

It is only when we feel secure in a relationship that we are willing to open up. The most important factor in feeling secure is feeling secure within ourselves.

By embracing self-acceptance, self-care, and self-identification, individuals can reclaim a sense of inner security. Related articles and content on the Whale Selection platform, along with the pocket exercises, provide valuable insights and guidance on this journey. Additionally, seeking support from a psychological counselor, confiding in a listener, or expressing oneself in the platform's chat rooms or groups can help individuals navigate their inner feelings and thoughts in a safe and non-judgmental environment. As individuals gradually express their true selves in these safe relationships, they can begin to trust and present their authentic selves to the world. This process allows individuals to embrace their inner emotions and gradually feel the vivid emotions and feelings buried in their hearts.

Please refer to the above for further information. Best regards,